#“what do you mean Jas has 0 self-preservation instincts?”

[tildeathiwillwrite]

The Dangers of Jumping

WoW Birthday Whump Event Day 8: Stranded / Team whump / "Is anyone there?!"

Whumpril Day 6 (Dizziness)

WoW Birthday Whump Prompts List

Whumpril Prompts List

The Legend of Orian Goldeneye Masterpost

part 2

TW: head injury, concussion, unconsciousness, falling, dizziness, vertigo, environmental whump, blood, bruises

Context: Post-canon one-shot where Jas and Killian explore the universe together. Unfortunately this Jump has already gone south. (have I mentioned that these two are very whumpable?)

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Jas’s head was pounding, like someone was taking a hammer and chisel to her inner skull. She groaned softly, eyes closed as she slowly put her hand up to the source of the pain. It came away warm and sticky. She froze, and her eyes flicked open. She lay on her back on a rough, cold, uneven surface, one of her legs pinned uncomfortably beneath her body. Far above, stars glittered in unfamiliar constellations, with dark clouds obscuring parts of the night sky.

Jas slowly sat up and straightened out, cautiously probing at the wound on the side of her head. It bled heavily, but it wasn’t too big or too deep. The motion made her head spin, and it took her a second to focus on the rest of her surroundings.

She was on a ledge of some kind, bare stone jutting out of a cliff face with scattered tufts of wildflowers. Less than a foot to her right was a sudden drop of at least thirty feet, maybe more. She gasped and scrambled back, the movement not helping with her headache or sense of vertigo. Her rushed action drew her attention to the object in her other hand: a necklace with a glassy green pendant, the chain tangled around her fingers. 

This jump-started her panic. “Killian?!” she shouted, glancing around the ledge frantically, although she already knew he wasn’t there. Did he fall? Is he at the bottom of the cliff? Did he not come out of the portal?

Jas touched the side of her head again and winced. The blow to her head, whenever that happened, must’ve been worse than she’d thought. The portal. That was the last thing she remembered, forming a portal and stepping through, Killian at her side. And after… she didn’t know.

Was this how Killian felt all the time? Jas suddenly developed more sympathy for his problems as she pushed herself to her feet, relying heavily on the cliff wall. It sloped up more gently than the drop across from her. She could scale it if necessary. But first, she had to check over the side.

Jas was too dizzy to trust herself to stand so close to the edge, so she went onto her hands and knees and crawled until she could peer over the side without fear of falling. The drop had to be about a hundred feet, but it was hard to tell from this angle because a thick forest of pine trees carpeted the base of the cliff and blocked the view of the ground.

Far off in the distance was a faint orange glow, almost absorbed by the forest, one that wavered and flickered like a fire. A camp, maybe? Hopefully, it was civilization and not a forest fire. Jas continued scanning the forest, searching for any other signs of life. She might have to wait until sunrise, she couldn't see much of anything in the dark.

When she was going to give up and wait until morning, a small splash of color caught her eye. Was that Killian’s jacket?

She squinted. It certainly looked like it. The jacket was torn up, dangling from broken branches several layers deep in the closest pine tree. Killian must’ve fallen through the tree, the branches breaking his fall and tearing his jacket from him. His bag shouldn't be too far away.

Jas sighed sharply through her nose. I have to get down there, don't I?

She glanced around the ledge. Her headache was beginning to subside, the wound scabbing over and matting her hair into a red mess. Unfortunately, there wasn't any simple way down other than… jumping.

Jas sighed through her nose sharply before slipping Killian’s pendant over her head and rising to her feet. She backed up, cursing herself with each step she took. This is so stupid, you’re gonna kill yourself, or break something, or—

She sprinted and leaped off the ledge. Time seemed to slow as she sailed through the air.

Jas braced herself for the impact, but it still took her breath away when she crashed into the tree, its thin branches snapping under her weight. She flailed, trying to grab something, anything to slow her fall.

Her fingers wrapped around a thick branch, and she jerked to a stop, nearly dislocating her shoulder in the process. “Oww…” she mumbled. She would be finding bruises for the next week from this. “Okay, jacket.”

She’d aimed for the tree next to the one where Killian’s jacket had gotten caught, so it was only a matter of maneuvering and balancing precariously on branches before she snatched it from the tree’s grasp. Slinging it over her shoulder, Jas began to descend, taking care that she did not fall the rest of the way like Killian had.

Pine needles crunched underfoot as she dropped the remaining feet from the lowest branch. She paused, squinting. It was a lot darker down here than on the cliff face; the tall trees blocked out the light of the stars. So, despite having a rough idea of where to look, it still took almost two excruciating minutes before she found Killian.

He was crumpled at the base of the tree like a discarded toy, covered in dozens of cuts and bruises. He was unconscious, naturally, but his chest rose and fell slowly. Still alive, at least.

Jas nudged him with her foot. “Killian?”

He didn’t move.

She poked him again, harder. No response. “Damnit,” she muttered, “why do you have to be so delicate?”

Killian offered no answer, so Jas glanced around until her eyes fell on his bag lying a few feet away. “Well…” she said aloud as she picked it up and slung it over her head and shoulder, “I have no clue where we are, and there’re signs of life off that way—” she waved vaguely in the direction of the flickering glow— “and we’re pretty much stranded until your Pendant resets.”

Jas crouched beside him and, with much effort, lifted him over her head and across her shoulders. “And,” she grunted, straightening up, “there are probably things in this forest other than us.

“So if you think I’m leaving you behind,” she finished as she started walking, “you’d be dead wrong.”

Perhaps ‘dead’ was a poor choice of words. But it wasn’t like anyone but the trees could hear Jas anyway.

@fourwingedsnake @whumperofworlds

[bartsugsy]

The Robron Break-Ups : A Definitive Guide (Part 3/Save Me)

Part One / Previous Part / All / AO3

As we kick off with Part Three, we move out of the Pre-Manslaughter era and firmly into the… you know… the part where someone dies.... Warning: may involve a lot of yelling things in Robert Sugden’s general direction. Maybe there’s some name calling. It’s all done out of love.

But really, we’re getting to the juicy stuff now. I’m sure it will be great.

After all, you can’t spell ‘manslaughter’ without ‘laughter’.

I’ve made that joke so many times at this point, I’m sorry.

(I’m not)

Thank you, as always, for your incredibly kind words and likes and for reading these posts. This took… longer than expected. *cough*

Warning for discussions around outing queer characters, attempted suicide and self-harm. I’m mostly assuming you've all seen the storyline and know what to expect, but if you do need any specific things warned for, here or in future parts, please don’t hesitate to send me a message.

Anyway, without further ado, have 6,000 words of feelings...

Part Three: A Mess™

Previously On...

It’s been… a while… so, if you’ll cast your mind back, we left off with Aaron trying to “treat [Robert] mean to keep him keen”, in the words of Paddy - and this plan utterly blowing up in his face, when Robert, who can’t handle the damage this does to his already fragile ego, vows to stop chasing Aaron and decides that they’re over. This prompts Aaron to do something stupid and impulsive in retaliation and he sets about a plan to out Robert and their affair to Katie. This… turns out to be somewhat of a mistake.

11. 5th February 2015

It’s the morning of Robert’s wedding to Chrissie and Robert has spent the night in one of the Woolie’s 500 free rooms, because tradition. It’s bad luck to spend the night together before you get married, you know. Clearly this bid for good marital luck works wonders for Robert and Chrissie.

Aaron, having woken up determined to put his plan in motion, tracks down Robert and asks that they meet before Robert’s wedding. Robert pretends to not be interested and then literally seconds later basically says “ok let’s start banging again and never ever stop”, which prompts Aaron to have an immediate change of heart, because all of a sudden, the opportunity to keep Robert has opened up. Again. We’re only 5 seconds in and my head is starting to hurt with how immediately they both make up and then change their minds again and honestly this is only going to get worse as the day goes on.

Aaron tracks down Katie to call off the plan, Robert goes back to the Woolie and puts a suit on and then they reconvene at Wiley’s. Robert walks in, ready for a quick pre-wedding bone, but Aaron’s been standing there stewing for a bit over his True Love for Robert and so immediately launches into a desperate and heartfelt plea to try and stop Robert from getting married. They say about 50 iconic lines to one another and it’s amazing and incredible and I cry. Robert spouts a couple of stark truths among a hundred more very big lies and Aaron is more honest than he’s ever been and it’s just… amazing. Robert also says the words “we’re over” again because at this point it’s his damn catchphrase. Aaron calls him out on it, says he doesn’t mean it and Robert gives him this Look that says that Aaron is very much not wrong there. We’re all shocked, I’m sure.

To prove this point, instead of just leaving (because it’s not like he has a wedding to get to or anything), Robert seemingly paces around Wiley’s for a bit, giving Aaron enough time to give into another impulse and send Katie a text, deciding once more to blow the affair.

How long did it last? Minutes? Seconds? However long it takes Aaron to send a quick text, really.

Who came crawling back first? Both of them? Although, technically Aaron, who, once he’s sent the text, goes and tracks down Robert in order to carry out his original plan to seduce him and let Katie catch them at it. He does this using a tried and tested method - he insults Robert, starts a heated conversation about where they both stand and then finally, just dives in for a kiss. Robert, predictably, despite what he had just said 5 seconds previously about them being ~over forever~, immediately kisses back.

How little did they mean it? 0/5. Are you kidding? It lasted seconds.

12. 5th February 2015

So, there Aaron and Robert are, making out in a barn, when all of a sudden, Katie appears, fresh off her horse, taking photographic evidence like we know we all would if we could. Aaron tries to convince Robert that this is his perfect opportunity to come out and Robert… does not feel the same way… to put it lightly. Robert is about an hour away from marrying into a seemingly never-ending fortune and he’s not about to give all that up because of Katie. Aaron goes to leave and Robert tells Aaron not to tell anyone, but ultimately lets him go without much of a fight at all, which is interesting given what he does to Katie when she tries to leave. This… is going to turn into something of a pattern.

So.

He kills her. It’s manslaughter, he doesn’t mean to (god knows what he actually meant to do wHY ARE YOU SUCH AN IMPULSIVE STUPID FOOL ROBERT SUGDEN WHY), but… he’s absolutely the one responsible for it. He has a great conversation with her about his sexuality, looks absolutely flipping WRECKED, panicked as hell, tries to convince her not to say anything by bargaining and pleading and threatening and when she doesn’t budge, it very quickly and drastically all escalates until he ultimately pushes her through some dodgy floorboards and she breaks her neck and she full on dies.

...Whoops?

How long did it last? About as long as it takes for Robert to kill Katie, break into her phone and delete the photo and then call Aaron in a panic. Then they sort of get somewhat distracted by all the manslaughter.

Who came crawling back first? Robert, because he needs to get married and he’s just killed someone and his first instinct is to call Aaron. His self preservation instincts kick in immediately and he conveniently leaves out some facts (and also flat out lies) when recounting what’s happened to Aaron (and essentially makes himself sound a hell of a lot more innocent than he actually is). Robert and Aaron talk, throughout which Robert manages to manipulate Aaron into feeling guilty (never exactly a difficult thing to do) and it’s horrible ok it’s HORRIBLE but Robert has decided the only way to keep the heat off himself is if Aaron gives him an alibi. Plus, Aaron is already keeping secrets for Robert. Robert can trust Aaron. Robert does trust Aaron. Which is just. I HAVE A LOT OF CONFLICTING FEELINGS ABOUT ROBERT IMMEDIATELY CALLING AARON TO COME AND HELP HIM. DO I FEEL SOPPY ABOUT IT? DO I WANT TO WRANGLE ROBERT’S IDIOT NECK? IS IT A SOLID COMBO OF BOTH (both, it’s always a combo of both).

Anyway, eventually Aaron just tells Robert to go get married while he wipes away their fingerprints. Robert doesn’t want to leave him but eventually goes and high-tails it to the church.

How little did they mean it? WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG WE’RE ON A CRASH COURSE FOR DISASTER AND EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED AND IT’S JUST HORRIBLE OK IT’S HORRIBLE (BUT 0/5 they’re a mess but they’re in love ja feel)

Honourable Mention #6: 6th February 2015

When Robert gets to the church, he looks like he’s barely holding it together. He waits for Chrissie and almost bursts into tears and he’s just… he’s a mess ok he’s killed Katie and now he’s a god damn mess.

They go ahead with things anyway and halfway through the ceremony, Aaron bursts in and it’s very dramatic and as Robert is standing there at the altar getting married to someone else, they share A Look. Robert does indeed get married and they continue to share Looks and the both of them have these expressions on their faces like the only person having a worse day is Katie and then to top it all off, Robert does some amazing awkward dancing like the fucking stupid nerd he is.

Honestly, their faces throughout the whole wedding reception are works of art ok I could watch an hour of them looking sad and shifty and staring at each other I’m just saying.

Honourable Mention #7: 11th February 2015

The boys get sort of distracted by all of the… post-manslaughter guilt and sadness…. thing. Andy’s living at Rob’s and Robert has taken it upon himself to be the Best Brother He Can Be, because his guilt will basically let him do nothing else. Aaron has started self-harming again - and, related, running. Chas is tearing herself apart, because she and Katie had argued the day before she died and Chas has, off of nothing, basically decided that Robert is absolutely involved. Somehow. Deserves her own murder mystery detective show, that one.

All this is simply to drive Aaron into dramatically revealing to Chas and Paddy that Robert didn’t kill Katie and that yep, he has indeed Tapped That. A lot. He gives Robert an alibi and Chas and Paddy pretty much immediately and singlehandedly start the Anti-Robron Movement.

The boys have a few shifty looking scenes together. Aaron has overheard that Katie told Chas about the whole arson/death threats/acting like a panto villain thing Robert was doing for a while there and confronts Robert about it. Eventually, Robert comes clean and apologises to Aaron for not being straight (lololol) with him.

Robert is… basically at the end of his rope at this point and he pretty much just can’t stand the fact that, on top of everything else, Aaron is angry with him. He’s more honest with Aaron than he has been with anyone else up to this point (which YES OK THAT’S NOT SAYING MUCH I REALISE THAT BUT STILL BABY STEPS OK). Aaron is mad and Robert essentially tells Aaron to report him to the police because, as we see over and over again, despite everything, Robert would essentially let Aaron get away with anything, inflict any level of damage on him (I’m going to come back to this again and again just you wait), with little consequence.

In the end, Robert talks his way back into Aaron’s trust, says in a soft voice “I need you” and “Help me” and tries to kiss Aaron, who is having none of it (but he’s still not going to the police and he lbr absolutely doesn’t intend to end things with Robert).

13.  16th February 2015

Chas and Paddy have a big confrontation with Robert, who vows to call off his affair with Aaron. Robert stays away from Aaron for a few days, while both boys are distracted by other things.

Adam and Aaron are arguing about the newly opened scrapyard and the fact that Aaron has suddenly mentally checked out of everything. (Aaron is sad and guilty and running. A lot.) While this is going on, Robert is being busy continuing his already lost campaign for Best Brother of The Year, by trying to support Andy and help make plans for Katie’s funeral.

Aaron eventually calls Robert because he’s sad and just wants to see him, because he’s a sweet little pineapple. Robert comes to visit him at the scrapyard and explains the talk he’s had with Chas and Paddy and once again (YES ONCE AGAIN WHAT A SHOCK A TRUE SHOCK) says that they’re over, they have to be over, or Chas and Paddy will tell Chrissie. Aaron immediately tells Robert that he can’t handle the guilt over Katie on his own and that he knows Robert can’t either - they need each other. Robert agrees, literally without hesitation (LITERALLY HE COULD NOT AGREE FASTER), but says that they still need to cool things for a while, so that Chas and Paddy don’t suspect.

How long did it last? I mean… did it even start???

Who came crawling back first? They sort of just avoid each other for a bit, distracted by other things, so it’s difficult to say. If history has taught us anything, it was probably Robert.

How little did they mean it? 0/5. They’re openly saying it’s not going to stick, Robert just wants to cool down for long enough that Chas and Paddy think it’s over.

Honourable Mention #8: 19th February 2015

Robert is trying to desperately help Andy - a silent act and guilt-ridden act of penance and honestly, it’s eating him up inside, he’s pretty much over-full with emotions, bursting at his seams. Diane notices (D I A N E notices something about ROBERT. God damn it musr be obvious) and talks to him and it’s wonderful and so sad and he LOOKS sad and ah, Real Boy Robert, what a sadfaced little muppet.

Andy and Aaron, much like Robert, are both trying to act like everything is fine. Aaron is still running too much and pushing himself too hard, Robert is giving himself angry looks in the mirror and Andy is just trying to quietly check out from everything.

On the day of Katie’s funeral, Aaron tries to get out of going, knowing that the guilt will make it unbearable. Chas finds out and flips out at him, which leads Aaron to confront Robert, demanding that they both tell Andy that they were at Wiley’s on the day of Katie’s death. Robert obviously doesn’t want to do this, but doesn’t do a hell of a lot to stop Aaron, beyond trying to call him and then touching his chest in anger (WHICH IS JUST GREAT I LOVE THE CHEST TOUCHING ALL THE CHEST TOUCHING).

Anyway, the actual funeral happens and it’s heartbreaking and Aaron basically falls to pieces and has to run out mid-service.

Later at the wake, Robert and Aaron step outside and Robert does his best to talk a crumbling Aaron into keeping quiet and as always their scenes are SO GOOD WHY ARE THEY SO GOOD TOGETHER WHY ARE THEIR SCENES SO GOD DAMN ELECTRIC JUST GO WATCH IT WATCH THE WAY THEY SIZE UP TO ONE ANOTHER AND BAT WORDS BACK AND FORTH WITH ALL THESE DAMN FEELINGS BUBBLING UNDER THE SURFACE GOD DAMN IT THEY’RE PERFECT.

Aaron ultimately offers to take the blame for the entire thing, but Robert, also quietly in bits over everything, goes into an angry tirade about Aaron’s tendency to take the blame for things. Before things can escalate, the boys get distracted by Andy tearing off in his car down the street. They run to Andy’s place, find the suicide notes he has left and immediately follow him - to the quarry, where Andy is stopped at the edge, getting ready to drive over.

Rob jumps into Andy’s car and Aaron stands in front of the car, all three of them looking utterly wrecked. Robert refuses to get out of the car, says “if you’re doing this, we’re doing it together”, looks at Aaron and Andy and I CRY A THOUSAND TEARS OVER TWO OF ROBERT’S MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS IN THE ENTIRE DAMN WORLD. Robert continues trying to convince Andy to not doing anything, while Aaron, at this point completely distraught, shuffles over to the edge and stares out.

In one split second, Robert notices that Aaron has disappeared and Andy gets out of the car and runs towards the edge and OH MY GOD THIS SCENE IS JUST SOUL DESTROYING AND HEARTBREAKING, AARON AND ANDY BOTH IN UTTER DESPAIR AND ROBERT DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET ALL OF THEM OUT ALIVE hahaha THIS ISN’T EVEN SLIGHTLY A BREAK UP, IS IT? I JUST WANTED TO YELL ABOUT ROBERT SAVING ANDY AND ABOUT THE ABSOLUTE NOSE DIVE TO ROCK BOTTOM THAT AARON’S STATE OF MIND TAKES AND IT’S IMPORTANT OK THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS IMPORTANT LEAVE ME ALONE.

14. 23rd February 2015

Aaron, still feeling lost and distraught and, now, angry, texts Robert, who comes to see him in the Woolpack back room. Aaron’s determined to stop causing his mum grief and the best solution he can find to that is to stay away from Robert, and so Aaron essentially immediately tells him that they’re over, that having Robert hanging around is only making things worse. Robert asks what putting the brakes on is going to change - and that he saw Aaron, standing there at the edge of the quarry, staring. He probes at Aaron, tries to get him to talk, but Aaron stands firm and they ultimately part ways, both looking sad af.

How long did it last? All in all, just over a month. A month and 3 days, to be exact, as they start things up again on 26th March 2015. Of course, the reconciliation attempts start a lot sooner than that, because of course they bloody do. We see them again a few weeks after this particular break up, having spent a good bit of time off screen. Robert has literally been out of town, for horrible Lachlan-related reasons, which conveniently means that there’s been no chance for things to start back up again with them. Both Aaron and Robert have conversations with Chas about how it’s very much O-V-E-R. They both lie hilariously (LET’S TALK ABOUT ROBERT SAYING THAT AARON ~ISN’T THAT IRRESISTIBLE~ SHALL WE????? U WANNA GO ROB????? I HAVE FUCKING RECEIPTS YOU DONUT LITERAL ACTUAL 9000 WORDS AND COUNTING OF RECEIPTS. YOU LITERALLY WOULDN’T KNOW HOW TO RESIST AARON IF HE LOCKED HIMSELF IN A HIGH SECURITY VAULT AND SPRAYED HIMSELF IN ANTI-ROBERT SPRAY you bloody absolute delusional spanNER).

Anyway, Chas makes a crucial mistake and mentions to Robert that Aaron is still suffering, that he’ll “do himself damage the way he’s going”, which immediately concerns Robert, because as much as Robert’s just been going about his regular, Chrissie-loving days, it turns out you can’t actually just smirk away feelings. Chas, of course, has also underestimated the feelings Robert has for Aaron. Next thing we see, Rob is staring at his phone, thumb hovering over Aaron’s name, debating whether to contact him. Oh Chas, I’m pretty sure this one’s all your fault, babe.

I mean. It would have happened eventually. But Chas definitely expedited it slightly.

Who came crawling back first? Hold onto your seats kids… shock of the century, it’s Robert flamin’ Sugden. Of course.

Aaron is running until his feet bleed. Literally. At pretty much all hours of the day. And then he runs some more - enough that literally everyone notices. Chas and Paddy assume Aaron’s new found obsessive dedication to running is because he’s hung up about Robert. Robert, of course, is the only one who knows what’s really driving Aaron’s state of mind and sends him lots of worried looks (and then immediately pretends to Paddy that he doesn’t care la de da). Robert hangs around outside the Woolpack at night and catches Aaron running home, pushing himself too hard and confronts him. Aaron basically tells him to get lost. Robert decides to try a different tact entirely and donates £2,000 to Aaron’s half marathon fundraiser and then marches into the pub the next day to tell him so.

Robert… literally has learnt nothing from his past mistakes. @ Robert, pls re-read Part One. Your money means nothing, etc.

Anyway, he asks Aaron to talk to him, tries to get him to stop beating himself up about Katie and tells Aaron that he’s worried. Aaron really doesn’t care and once again tells Robert to leave him tf alone. ROBERT’S FACE IS ALL SOFT AND SWEET AND OH MY GOD HE MIGHT HAVE… LEGIT, REAL FEELINGS???????? What a world…

Continuing his pursuit of Emmerdale’s Best/Worst Suitor, Robert tries yet another tactic to get Aaron to talk to him, by dragging Ross and his stolen cars into things. Because I suppose it worked out well last time. Finally having had enough of Robert’s general annoying presence and persistence, Aaron follows Robert out to the good old layby and they have it out.

Aaron finally starts talking about his guilt over Katie and Robert looks like his withered soul is dying just a little bit, but also pretty flipping determined to help Aaron feel better, somehow. He decides the best way is to let Aaron take his anger out on him, rather than his usual self-harm. Aaron tells Robert that he can’t possibly understand how bad he feels and Robert, in one last ditch attempt to help ease Aaron’s pain, confesses that he was in fact the one who killed Katie.

Which.

Damn.

Robert comes clean about everything, he’s astonishingly honest - reveals more than Aaron could ever possibly need to know. Aaron is heartbroken at this reveal, Robert apologises and Aaron punches Rob. Aaron drives off and Robert yells after him but ultimately lets him go. As always, Robert gives Aaron all the rope he could ever need to hang Robert with. Every honest and incriminating truth Robert has to share, he gives to Aaron, all in a desperate attempt to stop Aaron from falling apart. Robert knows the risks, has been threatened by Aaron enough times, about this secret and every other one, knows Aaron has actually betrayed him before and still - still Robert spills everything. Ultimately, Robert’s all-time number one goal of self-preservation means nothing in the face of Aaron’s pain.

(Honestly I will point this out again and again, because it’s really the first thing that made me fall in love with them - because in the battle between Robert’s every instinct to keep himself safe and out of trouble (and able to comfortably live the life of riches and power he’s built for himself), and his concern for Aaron’s well-being - well, his own livelihood barely even comes close, at the end of it all. It may always take him some time, but it always comes down to this, doesn’t it? Aaron defying everything Robert ever knew about or planned for himself and Robert completely surrendering to that. It’s amazing.)

ANYWAY. Aaron beats up Robert (which: I don’t condone this but in fairness, Robert literally did sort of tell him to), they both go home and then Robert goes off to find Aaron again anyway, because he’s still worried. Robert gives Aaron all these quiet, angsty stares and Aaron is still angry and upset. Aaron is once again absolutely set to tell everyone the truth and Robert tries to talk him round again. He emphatically tells Aaron that he’s not alone, that he would gladly take a beating to try and get that through to Aaron, that if he lost Aaron he “couldn’t handle it” and it’s just… damn. YES OK YES HE COULD BE MANIPULATING AARON that’s true, but… Robert has been so incredibly and consistently honest with Aaron in these few episodes, dangerously so, that it all honestly feels closer to truth than lie at this point. 

Aaron points out that Robert still has Chrissie and Robert immediately answers that she’s not enough and this whole scene is really just one declaration after another from Robert - that he needs Aaron, that he has feelings for Aaron beyond sex, that he couldn’t just be married to Chrissie, couldn’t not be with Aaron. It’s the first time we really start to get the idea that, when it comes to feelings, Aaron and Robert may actually be on slightly more of a level playing field then we initially thought.

Aaron gets up to walk away and Robert, in one last ditch attempt, says a desperate and heartfelt I love you. This gets Aaron’s attention, funnily enough. Robert says his ICONIC LINE “I love you and I can’t watch you suffer” and then tells Aaron to do what he likes with the information he has.

 The next time we see Aaron, he’s chilling in the Woolie, staring moodily into space (that old pastime). Vic says some kind words to him about Robert again - a tried and true method of getting Aaron to talk to Robert has always been to have Vic big him up a bit. She is the True Captain.

Aaron calls Rob to the Woolie and they meet on the STAIRCASE OF EMOTIONS. Aaron asks if Robert meant what he said and gets him to say it again and we all CRY A LOT BECAUSE YEP THEY’RE IN LOVE EVEN THOUGH AARON’S NOT GOING TO SAY IT BACK. ROBERT SAYS THAT’S FAIR, THAT HE CAN WAIT, AND HOLY SHIIIIT DOES HE KEEP THAT FUCKING PROMISE. Aaron asks for there to be no more secrets between them and Rob swears on his life - and to be fair, in that moment, I think he’s probably telling the truth.

(Naturally, this will change very shortly)

How little did they mean it? 5/5. Holy shit, Aaron meant it. Look at the god damn LENGTHS Robert had to go to to get Aaron back. My god.

(Although, if he really had meant it, he wouldn’t have gotten back with Robert at all. But this is a scale on robron’s terms so… you know. We’ve quite firmly established that their break ups mean literally nothing by this point, haven’t we? Anyway, they’re officially In Love.)

Honourable Mention #9: 27th March 2015

So, following Robert’s beautiful and timely little confession of love, the boys are properly back together again. They have a cute little scene at Vic’s birthday and make flirty eyes and everything’s great until Chrissie walks in and mentions, in front of Aaron, that Robert and the Whites are all planning to go away to the beach. Which Aaron isn’t the most pleased about, bless him. The happiness didn’t even last one damn day.

Minutes later, Chas and Aaron have a conversation where Chas basically full on lies to Aaron, telling him that Robert is annoyed at him and planning to pull out of the Scrapyard. Aaron goes off to sulk in the Woolie loos and Robert goes to find him, because this is where they hold all of their covert affair era meetings. The loos. Height of romance, that is.

(I JOKE BUT I MISS THEM. #CAMPAIGN TO BRING BACK THE MEETINGS IN THE LADS BOGS. JUST LET THEM MAKE OUT IN THERE AGAIN OR SOMETHING. FOR OLD TIMES SAKE. HEY - IT WOULDN’T EVEN MATTER IF SOMEONE WALKED IN ON THEM THIS TIME. DO THIS FOR ME @ EMMERDALE I DON’T ASK FOR MUCH)

Anyway. Aaron is annoyed at Robert because he thinks Robert doesn’t want to be with him anymore. Robert immediately corrects Aaron - he’s actually managed to convince the Whites to scarper off without him, so that he and Aaron can spend the week together in Home Farm instead. They kiss and I cry because the legend that is Home Farm week was what got us through many a dark time, all the way back in late 2015. The one instance of fluffy domesticity we had. Iconic.

Honourable Mention #10: 30th March 2015 - 7th April 2015

HOME FARM WEEK.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN’T A BREAK UP WE’RE 10,000 WORDS IN STOP JUDGING MY CHOICES.

Aaron’s still trying to convince Chas that he and Robert are very much not on, all the while basically moving into Home Farm for a week to have a loved up shag fest with the smug asshole in question. We do not see enough of this week of True Love - Aaron is too busy trying to help Adam navigate his own ridiculous personal problems (Aaron is such a good friend to Adam he could be spending all day every day rolling around with Robert and boning on every available surface but instead he spends the week trying to save Adam from his stupid decisions but it’s ok because it’s Bartsy and it’s beautiful and they’re cute so) but oh my god I just want to point out HOW MUCH HAPPIER AARON LOOKS????? REMEMBER THE PREVIOUS WEEK WHEN HE WAS MID-BREAKDOWN AND CRYING CONSTANTLY????????? HE LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER?????

THIS IS GREAT but also turns out to be terrible because it’s all dependant on the fact that he’s convinced himself that this week of domestic bliss with Robert is way more of a permanent thing than it actually is.

Aaron and Robert wake up together on Easter Monday and are lounging about on the sofas at Home Farm. Aaron is set to go for a run and Robert is trying to tempt him to stay at home while he cooks them breakfast. Aaron has no interest in whatever Robert wants to make them, because it turns out Robert has too busy getting busy with Aaron to go food shopping at any point. Rob then suggests a far more appealing plan of going back to bed to continue from wherever they left off that morning, proving once again that he is in fact the human equivalent of a bonobo monkey. (...that’s the monkey that has sex all the time… as a form of communication and conflict resolution…. they literally bone constantly… you get it.)

Aaron is all smiley and flirty and they have a little nose-rubby kiss and Robert is grabbing Aaron’s shirt and satan comes to collect my soul as I die inside at the sight and then Aaron gets up bc he’s flipping determined to keep me from my robron bed scene i hate you aaron dingle i hate you.

Aaron can’t be tempted - or rather, he can, but his mum is waiting for him at the pub so that they can go running and he doesn’t want to tip her off to where he’s really been spending his nights. Robert stops Aaron with a gentle little reminder to go easy on the run and he sounds all loving and concerned and Aaron smiles and says he’s fine and he MEANS IT because HE’S HAPPY because this is all he’s ever wanted with Robert - a real relationship.

Too bad it’s all gonna come crashing down around him. What a surprise.

15. 6th April 2015

Aaron leaves for his run just as Robert gets a text from Chrissie, mentioning that she’ll be back tomorrow. Instead of mentioning this to Aaron, Robert sends him a text saying don’t be long :), because clearly the only response to this is to try and get Aaron in his bed one more time. Aaron comes back, they get straight to the lovin’ and then retreat down to the kitchen so that Aaron can make them both a cup of tea. Nothing like a post-Afternoon Delight cuppa.

As Aaron opens the fridge to grab the milk, he notices Robert has stocked up on food, finally. Aaron looks all cute and happy and asks if Robert is cooking them both a proper meal later, to which Robert replies that nope, reality check son, my wife is coming back and I’m just covering my dirty cheating tracks.

I FEEL AS SAD AS AARON INSTANTLY LOOKS OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID BEFORE I DO NOT MISS THE AFFAIR DAYS FAST FORWARD TO THE DAYS WHEN THEY CAN HAPPILY BONE ALL DAY AND MAKE EACH OTHER CUPS OF TEA AND DINNERS WITHOUT ANY STUPID TIME LIMIT I- um.

Anyway, it really is a wake up call for Aaron, a harsh reminder that despite the fact that they’re both clearly in love with one another and happy together, they’ve only been playing house and Robert is still very much married. Aaron gets angry, Robert tries to calm him, but ultimately Aaron walks out.

How long did it last? Uh. Hours. Sort of. I mean, they’re still together this isn’t a break up leave me in peace.

Aaron goes back home and gets right back to his previous coping mechanism - he packs his bag with a bunch of full 2L bottles of water and goes for a run. Chas and Paddy notice something is wrong immediately and Chas is instantly and rightly worried. Meanwhile, back at Home Farm, the Whites are back and Chrissie is complaining about how bad their trip was and how alone she felt. She comforts herself with the knowledge that Robert also spent the week sitting around, all alone. Bless her.

Later on, Aaron is moping around the pub when Robert shows up. Aaron immediately gets up and walks out because he’s still annoyed and Robert looks GUILTY AF because you just KNOW he would rather be spending the night (AND THE REST OF HIS NIGHTS FOR ALL TIME UNTIL THE END OF TIME) with Aaron. THEY’RE IN LOVE THEY’RE DEFINITELY IN LOVE AT THIS POINT THEY JUST WANT TO BE TOGETHER BUT ROBERT STILL THINKS HE LOVES MONEY MORE AND ROBERT’S GOT HIS PERFECT LIFE AND ROBERT IS A GOD DAMN TOOL OK he’s a scared and panicky manslaughtery tool and I sort of want to give him a hug.

Those too-generous feelings will disappear again soon.

Aaron’s off out for a run again and Chas decides to come with him, to keep an eye on him. Half way through, she confronts Aaron, because she’s clocked that robron are back on. She makes an impassioned plea to Aaron to stay away from Robert, because Robert isn’t good for him (because, again, she’s still contributing Aaron’s recent worrying behaviour to Robert, as opposed to Aaron’s still lingering guilt over Katie) (Although I suppose this particular run is about Robert so, you know. Seriously, get Chas that detective show.)

So, they argue and Aaron runs off, ostensibly to go hide at Adam’s place. Instead he keeps running, trips over and hurts himself badly enough that he can’t get up. Or maybe doesn’t want to get up. We see him lying on the forest floor shivering and I basically try to hammer out my tv screen in an attempt to get in there and give him a blanket and a gentle hug.

The next morning, Aaron hasn’t turned up anywhere and Chas reluctantly goes to find Robert, because she’s concerned. Robert tries to act unconcerned but also then immediately offers to take Chas to go find him???? In a soft concerned voice???? He’s in love??????

…..He’s also a fucking idiot. Chas and Robert have it out in the forest as they search, and Chas cons Robert into admitting that he’s still sleeping with Aaron. Robert tries to make Chas understand that he cares about Aaron. Not only does Chas not believe this, but she also threatens to out Robert to Chrissie.

Robert’s response to this is to pick up a pointy rock and try to murder her.

As you do.

Just in time, Aaron… makes some sort of noise? That they hear? Don’t question it it’s a soap. Chas and Robert go racing off to find him, and sure enough, there he is, still shivering on the forest floor. Robert is so openly and clearly terrified for Aaron’s well being that Chas finally understands - Robert loves Aaron. She still doesn’t trust him though, because she knows that despite that, he’s still never going to leave his wife. She tells him as much and then reiterates that she’s still going to tell Chrissie about the affair, because she sort of just wants to destroy Robert’s life.

Sigh.

Robert spends some time sitting in his car staring creepily at Chas and Plotting Things™. Because murder is the clear way forward here. Makes total sense. You do you Robert. You god damn fool.

Aaron wakes up in the hospital to Chas and Paddy. Chas wastes no time in confronting Aaron again about Robert, which basically leads Aaron into saying that Robert is the only thing he’s living for right now, essentially. Oh, Aaron. I still want to hug him.

Because it’s clearly the day of honesty, Aaron later also admits to Paddy that the real reason why he’s struggling is not because Robert is still with Chrissie, but because of his part in what happened to Katie. He leaves out Robert’s much more significant role in her death entirely and fudges some details, mostly to protect Robert.

Speaking of Robert, we return to find him, looking nervous and on the phone. To a hit man. In order to have Chas killed. He asks for her death to be “quick and painless” which is super considerate what a fucking peach.

Shortly after, Chas storms over to confront Robert. AGAIN. My god, woman. Anyway, they threaten each other a bunch and Robert makes some sort of thinly veiled statement that Chas’ imminent murder is going to cause Aaron pain and it’s going to be her fault. Which. Robert.

There are no words.

Anyway, it turns out that Robert had worked out long before Chas that Aaron’s running was a form of self-harm and Chas doesn’t really know what to say to that. They threaten each other some more and hold each other to account for the ways they’ve both treated Aaron wrongly, and Robert, underneath all his ABSOLUTE HORRIBLENESS, genuinely sounds concerned about Aaron’s well-being. He may be acting like kind of a nutjob, but he still just sort of wants Aaron to be ok.

Finally, BOMBSHELL ALERT - Chas reveals why she’s really at Home Farm.

She says that if she tells Chrissie about the affair, Aaron will get hurt just as badly as Robert will. So she’s not going to do it.

Robert breathes the biggest breath of relief, Chas tells him to keep it in his pants in the future (a good piece of advice... a wise piece of advice...) and then, when she leaves, Robert legitimately dives for the phone to try and cancel the GOD DAMN HIT HE HAS PUT OUT ON HER?????????

Of course, this being Emmerdale, the hitman’s phone number doesn’t work. Bummer. Anyway, long story short, it’s Robert “Pigeon Brain” Sugden to the rescue, as he manages to stop the literal murder he’s tried to arrange just in time and Chastity Dingle gets to live another sparkly, gobby day.

Is it worth mentioning that Robert basically gives up on stopping the hit until he goes to visit Aaron, who says emphatically that he needs his mum, which apparently kicks Robert back into gear? I don’t know, sometimes the show likes to try and convince us that Robert could ever actually kill someone in cold blood. Which. Yes ok Emmerdale. Ok. Let’s just roll with it for a moment, shall we?

Who came crawling back first? ….Does attempting to murder Chas twice count as Robert crawling back? No??? Fine.

Anyway, Rob and Aaron still want to be together and I still love Robert despite him being the literal human equivalent of a broken nose sometimes and honestly, Aaron never needs to know about this particular stupid decision, does he? No. Ok. Let’s go back to forgetting it ever happened now. Awesome.

How little did they mean it? THEY DIDN’T IT’S NOT A BREAK UP IT’S NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY A BREAK UP IS IT I JUST WANT. THIS. POST. TO. END.

And that’s it folks. We end on a rough note for Robert, but it’s ok. He’ll make up for it. Eventually. I love him anyway. My own human junk pile Robert Sugden.

Tune in next time for a period of less murdering. Just as many break ups, though.