#“you're just too tense. take some yoga classes”

[ectocosme]

I think the next time I go to my Dr I'll just write "Elher-danlos syndrome, ever heard of it you white-coated buffoon!? (or smth close)" right on my forehead bc I get so hesitant and go "mn, mayhaps, perhaps, i'm not sure, it's not just anxiety and more sports won't help?"

[invisibleraven]

massaging their shoulders after a long day / sweet tarts

Carrie had just twisted herself out of warrior's pose when she heard the door open, and smiled despite herself.

"Hey doll!" Reggie called out, the sound of his heavy boots in the hall.

"In here!"

"Just gotta wash up first."

Carrie rolled up her yoga mat as she heard the sink turn on, traipsing to the powder room where Reggie was attempting to scrub the oil and grease from his hands. She wound her arms around his torso, perching on her tiptoes to kiss his jaw. "Hey sinta, good day?"

He hummed, towelling off before turning in her arms to give her a proper kiss. "Yeah, got to work on a sweet Mercedes and I made good progress on the Harley."

If you asked Carrie as a child, she would have never guessed she would end up with a mechanic. However, after one stormy night when her pretty pink Porsche broke down, Reggie was the one to give her a tow. He made the whole miserable experience a good one just by making her smile and laugh all while coming to her rescue. The rest had been history.

"How was your day?" Reggie asked, the two of them swaying together, grinning just from being close to each other.

"Meetings and planning mostly, but I also picked us up a lasagna for supper, should be done before too long," she replied. Carrie would never profess to be a great cook, but luckily Reggie didn't mind her making food from frozen or simple meals.

"Knew it smelled good in here," he replied, the two of them making their way to the kitchen. "I'll make us a salad?"

She nodded, grabbing the veggies from the fridge, but turned when she heard Reggie hiss. "You okay?"

He nodded, rotating his arm. "Yeah, shoulder is a bit tweaked from carrying around parts of the engine block I'm tinkering with. I'll put some heat on it later."

"You want me to rub it?" Carrie offered. '

"Doll I'm never gonna not want your hands on me," he replied with a wink.

Carrie scowled, but shooed him to a chair, and began digging her fingers into the muscles of his shoulders. "Oof, I've felt softer bricks."

Reggie chuckled. "Yeah, one drawback of doing physical labour, you get some tense muscles. You know you get stiff after dance practice too."

"I stretch before and after, so I'm nowhere near this bad," Carrie snarked back, pressing her thumb into a particularity bad knot, smirking when Reggie hissed and then moaned as it gave way. "Might be something to consider."

"I think the guys at the garage would give me crap if I start doing downward dog before I strip a muffler."

"I bet you five bucks half of them would join you if you asked," Carrie retorted. "I'll even come in and teach you."

"And have them ogle you in your yoga gear? Pass." He leaned back and grinned at her. "That's all for me."

"I wear this stuff when I go to my classes and runs you know."

"And I don't know how you deal with all those eyes on you because you are stunning."

"Even all sweaty and gross?"

"Especially then."

"You're a liar and I love you for it," she said, leaning down to kiss him. "Now, how's the shoulders?"

Reggie got up and moved himself around, Carrie appreciating the view as he flexed and stretched, his muscles on display in his thin tank.

"All good, thanks to you and your magic hands doll," Reggie replied.

Carrie was about to reply when the oven beeped. "Well how about you take your magic hands to make a salad and I'll get the garlic bread on the go so we can eat and see what else my hands can do after supper?"

Reggie gave a playful salute, dashing off to start on the salad, with Carrie on his heels to get the lasagna, looking forward to a quiet night in, and wondering if she could convince Reggie to reciprocate the massage later.

She was betting the odds would be in her favour.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- Season 2, Episode 16, "There's The Rub", aka a Masterpiece of Gilmore-dom, AKA Lorelai Gilmore Is Safely Contained In Another Location, AKA Jess Rory And Paris Eat Together And All Is Right With The World-Part 1

Let's just jump right into this absolute masterpiece. This 45 minutes of bliss. This triumph of GilmoreDom that even Dean Forrester can't ruin. (PS-Don't forget to check all of the previous episodes I've recapped! You can find them in my pinned post).

Yeah okay. The point of this construction was supposed to be for Jess to have a seperate space for himself, right? But this never happens. So why are we doing this again? This poor kid had to sleep on the floor next to Luke and Lorelai when she stayed over. Lorelai told Rory "your boyfriend snores." Tragically Lorelai was closer to sleeping with Jess than Rory ever was.

I hope one of them was Forrester. Perhaps God was trying to smite him and he failed, but hey, try try again right?

1:11 into the episode and I'm already grinning like an idiot. Emily calls Lorelai. "Would you like a gift certificate for a weekend at the spa?" TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT Emily uses advanced manipulation techniques on Lorelai to trick her into accepting a mother daughter weekend at the spa and I couldn't be more proud of Emily.

Me too, Emily. Me too.

I'm not saying Lorelai deserves an injurous chunk of concrete falling on her head (I reserve most of my grave injury/ death wishes for Dean), but a small DOINK or KABONK would have been satisfying to watch.

A shirt that just repeats "yoga kills" over and over is one of Lorelai's more interesting fashion choices. Per the post-opening credits, this s also a Madelyn & Louise episode? How can it get any better? Lorelai is carefully organizing her spa itninerary while Rory declares her plans to stay in for the night, order take out, watch movies and go to bed early. Lorelai is insistent that Rory throws a rager in her absence. With who, exactly? I mean this in the kindest, gentlest way possible: Rory has no friends ( besides Lane, who I suppose has demonstrated her ability to slip out of her room un-noticed and attend wild parties on multiple occasions, should I give her partial credit here?) When you think about it, these are the only true, solid, non-frenemy, non-annoying hangers on (like Logan's "friends"), non-sexually tense friend pairs on Gilmore Girls: Lane and Rory Lorelai and Sookie Miss Patty & Babette. Welp that's it. GIlmore Girls teaches us an important lesson: If you have a penis, you're not allowed to have any friends (who you aren't trying to fuck).

17 years old, but already speaking like a true geriatric Millennial from the later 2000's. I heartily salute your low key lifestyle, Rory Gilmore. You do you, and don't listen to your mother.

"Haven't you ever seen the movie Risky Business? I don't mean you have to start a prostitution ring, but maybe an illegal casino or something." Well, if Rory wanted to start a prostitution ring, I know a teenage gigolo who can call some people and make it happen. L: Why is (Emily) honking? She hates honking.

Rory's Inner Monologue: "I know,I was there."

The chariot that will whisk Lorelai away to a secondary location so Rory can have a night of freedom from her insane mother. Maybe not freedom from three other people imposing their time on her against her wishes, but hey, no Lorelai!

One of my favorite parts of Gilly Girls is the 36 year old Chilton extras who have wives and 3 kids to get home to after chemistry class. Paris Geller's world crumbles when she discovers she recieved an A-Minus on her chemistry test. Since Madelyn and Louise won't give up their Friday Night Fuck Dates to help her study, Paris turns to her wife for help. After much badgering, Rory gives in and agrees to spend the entirety of the following week helping Paris study but declines for that evening, because Rory really needs to be alone, and just BE.

"A whole week of studying with Rory Gilmore. Ugh. I GUESS that's okay. I GUESS that doesn't make my nether regions flutter in anticipation or anything."

On top of the caffiene withdrawls, Emily re-arranged Lorelai's careful planning which was supposed to ensure she was seperated from Emily for the majority of the trip, so now all of their spa treatments are going to be in tandem! Lorelai's disappointments and caffiene withdrawls are like chicken soup for my soul. Ahhh! Okay, fine, Lorelai is pretty tolerable, even enjoyable to watch in this episode, but she's built up so much of whatever the opposite of goodwill is (badwill?) that it's hard for me to let go for one episode and not just snark on her constantly. A girl's gotta snark.

Emily and Taylor Doose were the OG Karens. Did anyone just feel a sudden chill?

AHH! You idiots, you have GOT to stop scaring me like that. Having to see Rory and Dean make out and then having to hear Rory pretend that it actually turned her on is another form of unthinkkable torture outlawed by the Geneva Convention. Rory's sexual experiences really went Dean Forrester, Logan, ????? (mystery 10 years), then Logan again. I hope there was something in between Logan and Logan, for I fear this poor thing has never had an orgasm in her life. Maybe Jess snuck in there somewhere after their initial breakup. Paris maybe? Ditch em all and buy a nice vibrator is what I say. Anything that would unbleach my eyes.

*to the tune of Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton* Unbleaach my eyeeesss....don't ever do it AGAAIIIN... Un-do this shit that caused me to claw at my brain and want to rip out my eyes...

If I had a nickel for every time AmyShermanPalladino flip-flopped between making Dean a Nerd or a Jock, I would have many nickels. Frankly, my dear Amy, we know he doesn't know how to read, play sports, or kiss a girl, so just knock it off already. The makeout session lasts an ungodly long amount of time (about another 10 seconds) because he insists on stopping to talk to her 3 words at a time between each torturous application of his lips to hers. I swear I'm going to make a Gilmore Girls Bingo Card and here's a space I'd add to the card: "Dean makes a suggestion for something HE wants to do, not taking Rory's time, feelings, or interest in said thing into consideration, Rory is not able to express just how deeply she does not want to be involved in the Thing, and then Dean goes "WHAT" when she hesitates and then manipulates her into doing the Thing against her wishes, or he offers her a terrible compromise that benefits her in no way whatsoever" This is the second episode in a row where this exact thing happened and probably like, the fourth time total. Dean trying to seduce/ interest Rory in a couple of minutes of awkward groping: "So tonight (SLORP) I was thinking (SLORP) since your mother's gonna be gone (SLORP) I could come over."

We have Oh. What? I repeat, Oh. What? has achieved liftoff. Your shitty manipulation tactics and slorping on Rory's face cannot bring me down, Forrester. Not in There's The Rub. Not gonna happen. Bring on Jess and Paris.

I await Dean Forrester's reasonable and measured response.

"You're right Dean Forrester, silly me, I dont know why I would ever consider spending a single minute of my time with anyone but you. Thus far you have given me no reason to avoid you like Covid-19, even though I don't know what that is."

The Butthead was too stunned to speak. Poor Rory has to EXPLAIN to Dean why she would ever entertain the idea of spending one night by herself. They should show Gilmore Girls in high school sex ed classes as an example of unhealthy dating relationships. I swear. I'm going to publish this Part 1 a little prematurely as I'm leaving for the afternoon and I may as well throw it up, much like the lunch Rory will throw up after making out with Dean. Part 2 soon.

[youalexturnermeon]

Hi! Hope you're well 😊

Can I request a Cobra Kai Johnny imagine? Its Johnny patching up the reader, maybe after a fight with Kreese or something like that? Thank you 😁

Request: see above

A/N: I decided to leave Kreese out of it because even the littlest thought of this man gives me high blood pressure. Also this has gotten very long but I tried to warn that the topic of being patched up by Johnny has been living in my head rentfree for a while. That’s why I got carried away. Enjoy your daily dose of one shot.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of violence, alcohol angst and fluff

Wordcount: 2078 (oopsies)

Johnny was your neighbour, you moved in, right next door, a couple of months ago. So far, nothing more nothing less. Except the fact that you had the biggest crush on him, and he wasn’t that opposed to you either. Especially when he took his time got ready to go after his Karate classes when the Yoga group arrived to which he sublet his dojo and he stayed behind, sitting in his office, door open watching you, bent over, doing the most complicated figures ha had ever seen. Johnny thought Yoga was the biggest bullshit on earth, fuck Namaste and such, but when you were doing it right in front his thirsty eyes, he didn’t even need TV. He thought you were super-hot. The problem was that he was much older than you. And besides your Yoga passion and your joint love for beer that you sometimes had together, sitting on the ground in front of the apartment complex, he knew almost nothing about you. He wished he did, even more when you once caught him eyeing you doing the Downward Dog on the mat and instead of giving him the finger for being a creep you winked at him and grinned. That made him crazy. But he was too afraid to make a move, because, let’s be honest, you were young, you were beautiful, you were extremely hot – what the fuck should you do with an old man like him, to begin with. Johnny thought, you could have anyone you wanted, someone younger, taller, fitter, more buff than him.

Right now, Johnny was sitting on the ground in front of his apartment, a beer in his hand, a couple of spear ones just in case, thinking about the last time you sat here next to him, hoping you would come out your door or back from work joining him, just to talk and to drink. A few weeks ago, around that time, you just finished work, you were tired and angry in desperate need of a drink, you sat down to him and you shared that you were a barista at Starbucks, how much you hated some customers, how years ago you moved here to go to college and how you dropped out of it three years later, simple small talk getting superficially deeper with an increased number of beers. These were little things, but Johnny was longing for more of those, sitting waiting for this occasion to repeat itself. He wanted to know everything about you and unlike with other people he wanted to share his life with you, too.

After some time, Johnny, realizing how desperate and stupid he was, now acting like a teenager again, suddenly saw your silhouette in the dark, coming closer. His excitement grew, his heart started beating faster and as much as he hated it, his palms became all sweaty. He wated to jump up, run towards you, but he pulled himself together and just sat still, focusing on a little bug crawling on the ground, not daring to look up again

“Hi, Johnny” you said, sounding exhausted, when you finally approached him and heavily sat down, opening a beer without asking. Johnny was about to greet you back when he looked up from his stupid little insect friend, as he saw your roughed-up condition. His excitement vanished and glanced at you in utter horror. Your long (Y/H/C) hair was all messy, the collar of what has once been a shirt was ripped and hung loosely down your shoulder and when he inspected your face, he gulped. Right on your perfect cheekbone was a fresh bleeding wound surrounded by a huge flowering purple bruise. Your pretty face now twisted to a grimace from pain.

“Jesus Christ, (Y/N), what happened to you?” he asked perplexed, examining your whole body for other injuries he might’ve still not noticed yet.

You shook your head and grinned, “Nothing special, ran into my ex who was the reason I moved to the other side of town, he found out where I was working and decided to pick me up, apparently. He insists I still owe him money, which I don’t. And when I told him this we got into a little fight.”

“Did he do this to you?” Johnny pointed at your face and your now rugged shirt, him voice was filled with fury, he was right about to jump up and hunt that motherfucker down.

“Yeah, but you should’ve seen him when I was finished with him.”

Johnny was surprised how easily you took a big fat black eye, not voicing your pain, laughing away the fight with your ex.

“I kicked his ass!”

Johnny looked at your hands, eyes narrowed. And indeed, all signs showed him that you were able to fight back. Carefully he took your hand in his, making sure he would not hurt you anymore and pulled it closer to his face. Your knuckles were just as the right side of your face, bloody and bruised. You shivered under his touch but for the first time in what seemed to you like forever since you bumped into your ex, you felt your body relaxing. The tension in your shoulders vanishing just because Johnny held your hand in yours so softly. His own were rough from all the training but it felt so good.

“I’m no little bitch, I took a few boxing lessons when I was a teenager” you explained, “When he pulled my shirt, I slapped him, when he started hitting me, I started hitting him back hard, I still got it, then I kicked him in the nuts and managed to run away”

“I’m so, so, so happy to hear to nothing worse happened to you. Next time you see that jerk, you call me, okay? Or when you are afraid to go home by yourself, call me and I pick you up, I bring you home. When I ever see your ex somewhere near here or you, I’m gonna make sure, he’s never gonna touch you or come near you ever again. I’ll even kill that motherfucker for you!”

You laughed and looked into his piercing blue eyes who still showed so much worry and you knew, he was being dead serious.

“Thank you, Johnny!” you whispered, your hand still in his and yet you couldn’t help yourself to make a joke because you could not bear being too serious about your situation right now. You were not used to someone care about you too much.

“But do you think you could manage? Would you be able to kick his ass?” “Is me being a sensei at the dojo you do your stupid yoga in a joke to you, (Y/N)” Johnny said protectively but he too, was glad you could joke right now.

“That stupid yoga you always check my ass out thinking you’re so hidden in your office?”

“Well…” Johnny scratched his head and looked into the air thinking of an even pettier response than yours, but he couldn’t think of any “You got me there”

“I’m actually flattered” you admitted. Until now you weren’t so sure it was you, he was watching so closely.

“Great, now you only have to admit that you are checking me out as well when you’re done with Yoga and I’m leading a class.” You shrugged, “I sometimes do, I love myself a good-looking man who is great with shitty children” Johnny taking another sip of his beer almost choked on it. He was not expecting THAT.

“Alright, good to have this one settled” he said trying to play it cool “Now let’s go patch you up a little”

Without any hesitation or even backtalk which Johnny actually was expecting to get, you followed him and into his apartment. He sat you down on the couch with a new beer in your hand and disappeared into his bedroom.

“Are there any other injuries I should know about?” he yelled whilst rummaging in every cupboard.

“Well, besides my depression, I guess the bastard also managed to kick me in the ribs. Some ice would be great”

Johnny wasn’t even sure he had a first-aid kit somewhere, he wasn’t even sure he ever owned one. Ice would also be a problem, but he thought, a bag of frozen peas or a steak would do, too. After a little search he finally stood with a clean towel, a bottle of vodka and some band aids in front of you again. Firstly, he gave you the peas.

“Show me your ribs” he commanded, and you lifted your ripped shirt. Your complete left side was crowned by an even bigger and darker bruise than the one on your face. He was concerned and hoped nothing was broken and yet he almost shivered seeing your bare skin. To him, you were the most beautiful thing in the whole world right now, even with your beaten face.

“Looks bad” he said and sighed as he sat down next to you and watched you putting the bag of frozen vegetables on your ribs, you hissed.

“It’s nothing. They’re not broken. Broken ribs hurt like hell and this is really nothing compared to that.” Johnny lifted his eyebrows in question.

“I broke my ribs a couple of times” “So you’re a tough cookie?” “You’re not the only tough guy on the block, sensei. I’m not a pussy.” you laughed and friendly nudged him with your elbow. He loved when you called him sensei. And he was excited about the fact that your language was so similar to his. He started to like you even more than he already did.

“Aright, alright. If this is nothing, let’s take care of your face then.”

He turned to you, in his hand the towel now soaked in vodka. He cleaned the crusted blood from your knuckles first. Then, he took a deep breath, he carefully started dabbing the cut on your face. You clenched your teeth but didn’t make a sound.

“Good girl” he said, “No bitching or moaning, that’s good!”

You just watched his face, being just inches away from your own. You saw his concern; you saw that he cared, and your heart started pounding. Your glance followed his toned arms, eyeing his muscles, tensing under his motions. And when you looked at his eyes you saw that they were the bluest blue you have ever seen; you were about to pass out. He was so concentrated; he didn’t even notice you staring at him like a crazy person falling in love. It was only, when he finished sticking the band aid to your face, he realized you looked him straight in the eyes.

He said nothing, you two were just stuck in this moment, sitting on the couch, so close your legs touched, looking at each other, your face so close to him, he felt your hot breath. And then, something in him snapped. He wanted to kiss you!

“I’m gonna kiss you now, (Y/N)!”, he immediately voiced his thought and stroked your unharmed cheek, not asking for permission, just announcing what he was about to do.

“Yeah?” you managed to breath out almost completely silent. And the answer crushed promptly down on you. You closed your eyes and instantly felt soft lips on yours. Johnny, your neighbour Johnny, the Johnny who was so much older than you, the Johnny who you were crushing on since the moment he helped carry your boxes, was finally kissing you. The bag of peas slipped out of your hands and you let them rest on his thighs. Johnny was pulling you closer to his chest until there wasn’t any space left between you two. He was urging and yet so gentle, doing everything to not hurt you. He caressed your back, his left hand dug into your messy hair giving it a slight tug, but not once did his lips leave yours. After what seemed an eternity and yet just a second, he let go of you and pressed his forehead onto yours, out of breath, smiling because he just couldn’t keep himself from not doing it. You joined him.

“You’re gonna go out with me some time now, right?”, he asked laughing in disbelief of his own courage and what it have brought him. Now this question seemed so easy.

“Yeah, pick me up after my yoga lesson tomorrow” you giggled, “Maybe you’ll get another look at my ass”

“You bet!”