#∘₊✧────── eilonwy finch ; visage

[urdamage]

eilonwy hands noah an envelope ; the birthday card inside of it is thick , a sign of its good quality . she’s chosen it specifically from cupid’s , having stood at the birthday card section for more than ten minutes in order to choose the nicest one that resembles her friend as best as a card can . the card is a soft yellow , and the front is covered in playful illustrations of flowers , all with friendly faces smiling upwards to the ‘ happy birthday ’ written in bubble writing . inside of it , she’s written her birthday message in soft , beautiful , legible cursive handwriting . the message reads ;

“ dear noah, 

every single day i am reminded of how blessed i am to have you in my life.  i could never have asked for a better friend, a better brother.  i hope your twenty-sixth year is filled with love and joy and all of the beautiful things you deserve to have in life.  here’s to the rest of our lives spent together as the best of friends. i love you!

love always, lonnie. ” 

the card jupiter hands noah isn’t a traditional birthday card , but instead , one single piece of unfolded card containing an illustration on the front and a plain white back . instead of writing on the back of the card , jupiter has written his birthday message to noah on a piece of lined paper , which is neatly taped to the back . upon further inspection , and upon flipping the page over , the fact that both sides of the page have been covered in writing can be found . the message is written in handwriting that is scribbly and small , yet legible at the same time . the message reads ;

“ my dearest noah, 

i wholeheartedly believe that the universe had a plan when it brought us together. i could write pages and pages on how i believe you deserve better than all of the cards that the universe has dealt you, but i could write even more about how i believe that the universe has given me more than i deserve by leading me to you. i won’t.  when i turned twenty-six, i was just beginning to feel like i belonged here in shrike. angel had just started to let me perform to the sparse mid-day crowd, i found comfort in no longer running and chasing whatever mystery tickled my interest that month, and i started to feel at home in my apartment - broken lift and all. the view of the night sky from the balcony truly is amazing, almost as beautiful as the one that you helped me create in the safety of my room. i know that we don’t live in the same old shrike anymore. regardless. all i can do is hope that in your twenty-sixth year, you feel the same kind of belonging and the same kind of comfort that i found here.  after all that you’ve done for me, both before and after everything that we’ve been through, all i can ask for is that the stars guide you in the right direction so that you can find peace and love and happiness and fulfilment and everything else you could ever want.  and because i know some people don’t believe in that kind of stuff, in the universe having any sort of power over any of us (mum and dad always said i was silly for believing) i’ll also be by your side helping that become a reality in whatever way that i can.  you shine brighter than my favourite star.  happy birthday - suppose i should have written that sooner.

yours, jupiter. ”

✧ eilonwy finch moodboard 06/?? ✧ jupiter bernstein moodboard 08/?? ✧ featuring noah cohen ( @noahcohen​ ).

[urdamage]

i have a dream too, but it’s about singing and dancing, and making people happy. it’s the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. and i found a whole group of friends who have the same dream, and that makes us sort of like a family.

✧ eilonwy finch moodboard 05/?? ✧ featuring noah cohen ( @noahcohen ). ✧ freddie’s twelve days of moodboards 11/12

[urdamage]

it's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate it takes strength to be gentle and kind over, over, over, over it's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate it takes guts to be gentle and kind

✧ eilonwy finch moodboard 04/??

[urdamage]

✧ eilonwy had always thought that fall was such a beautiful time of the year ; the way the leaves changed colour , the way the sky was so golden before setting , the way that her favourite coats could finally be returned into her outfit rotations - they were all brilliant things . fall was cosy , fall was warm , fall was the perfect weather that allowed her to stay home and enjoy all of her favourite activities . the season had always been of great comfort to the woman , but her experience last year , throughout the fall of 1987 , was anything but comfortable . last year had been a horrific time , and every one of her favourite things about the season had turned sour , causing her fear over anything else . in the years prior to the attack , eilonwy had even enjoyed the way that winter crept up on them , the sky growing darker , the weather growing colder ; after her attack , each sunset and rainy day had all of the joy ripped from them as she was only able to feel fear because of it all .

there were many points in the beginning of her recovery where she wasn’t sure if she would make it out alive ; she couldn’t handle the fear , she couldn’t handle how changed she was by it all , and in some moments , she truly didn’t want to keep trying to push through when everything felt so hopeless . her light was snuffed out by the killers , and more often than not , she was sure it would never be ignited again . but she was wrong to have thought that , because just when it felt like she had reached her all time low , it turned out to be the beginning of the best part of her life . at a time of such hardship , all of the good in eilonwy’s life was beautifully highlighted ; her friends stepped up for her , they reminded her of all the warmth that would be obtainable when she was ready to feel it again , and they ensured that she felt loved and supported while she took her time trying to reach that point . without those people in her life , eilonwy wouldn’t have been able to break free from the darkness , that was a fact . 

so much changed between last fall and the one that rolled around now , and eilonwy was confident that she knew what might have caused the biggest changes . this time a year ago she felt so alone , so lost , so downhearted , but the life she lived now was so far from that . now , she wasn’t sure if she’d ever feel any of those things again , not while she had seth . of course , eilonwy still had bad days , but seth reignited the spark inside of her , and for the most part her days were filled with warmth once again , all thanks to him . she was so lucky to have seth in her life , especially as the one year anniversary of her attack passed , and as fall time came around once again . 

truthfully , eilonwy had been dreading fall . she was afraid of the sky darkening , she was afraid to lose the shades of green that sat high in every tree she read under , she was afraid that pulling on layers and large coats would remind her of how uncomfortable it was to do so while she was all bandaged up last fall , but it turned out she had no reason to worry . this fall with seth , it was far from a bleak , cold , horrific experience ; this fall with seth was warm , much like the feelings she always felt in his presence , and this year’s experience might have even made eilonwy love fall more than she ever had before , even before the time of her attack . 

seth had quite the habit of doing things like that for eilonwy . he not only reignited her spark and brought the light back into her life , be he kept it burning , he was responsible for the warmth in her life , he was responsible for bringing her sunny demeanour back , and eilonwy wasn’t sure what she would have done without him . 

she hopes each day that she never has to find out what to do without him .

✧ eilonwy finch moodboard 03/?? ✧ featuring seth moreau ( @malltms ) ✧ freddie’s thirteen days of moodboards 06/13

[urdamage]

creatures kissing in the rain shapeless in the dark again in a hanging garden, change the past in a hanging garden wearing furs and masks fall, fall, fall, fall into the walls jump, jump out of time fall, fall, fall, fall out of the sky cover my face as the animals die

✧ eilonwy finch moodboard 02/?? ✧ pinterest dump 04/?? ✧ see eilonwy’s full pinterest board here.

[urdamage]

these people round here were beaten down eyes sunk in smoke dried face so resigned to what their fate is but not us ( no never ) no not us ( no never ) we are far too young and clever

✧ eilonwy finch moodboard 01/?? ✧ freddie’s twelve days of moodboards 08/12