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[softleesam]

When you post about tummy kisses, is there someone you'd really like to kiss yours?

💖🦆

mhm! It's usually one of a couple people but shh they don't need to know that

[delsymthief]

research chemical pride flag

[heartgold]

Something ingenious about ep3 is how Battler is at his worst here but in a markedly different way from his ep1 characterization... Also it's meta!Battler who acts that way rather than his piece, which marks not only the author shift but also this depiction being deeply allegorical

Like. Ep3 meta!Battler is super dismissive of Beatrice even as she tells him about the most horrific parts of her trauma through a fantasy lens that doesn't even obfuscate the worst of it (and Battler actually... manages to decipher it with some prodding from Ronove), and yet he still brushes it off. His relationship to Beatrice in the meta layer is super antagonistic at this point. He correctly figures out that she's confessing to something very painful but doesn't care to think about it or why she's bringing it up because she has already been characterized as a heartless cruel monster in his eyes, therefore she hasn't earned his sympathy and good faith. It might as well be a trick just to confuse him

The way their relationship improves the moment she starts "reforming" and acting all cute and pitiable is important because it shows her both playing into his fantasy of "fixing" her and making her change her ways just to sweep the rug from under his feet and prank him about it at the end AND playing into this good victim fantasy for herself and genuinely relishing in the understanding and good faith he was willing to extend to her once she played the role he wanted her to (this is blatantly Sayo's complex with becoming the person others want her to be in order to deserve their love... It hurts........)

This marking the author shift and being a meta-only dynamic is super interesting to me  because it can mean so many things. I like to think of the metaworld as a representation of the journey in understanding the story from within. We know that from the IRL angle Tohya wrote ep3 while not knowing the full truth and believing Eva to be the most likely culprit based off snippets of memory and her survival. You could read Evatrice claiming the role of the antagonist while Beato goes through a "redemption arc" as Tohya struggling with his memories, deep down knowing the painful truth but being unable to access that memory or accept it, therefore pointedly scapegoating Eva to process his feelings of guilt and grief towards the witch

But by wishing her to be blameless and pinning everything on someone else he is neglecting her heart and looking away from her true feelings, from all the things she wanted to communicate and from all the circumstances that brought upon the tragedy (and ultimately, from Battler's sin). I can see this internal struggle being meta-translated as ep3 Battler being selfish like that and refusing to engage with Beatrice until she becomes "good"... You can feel a lot of self loathing in it. It's a rocky start to their parallel journeys until they both Get It and it's so interesting to me how, in hindsight, it's very clear that it truly starts when the stories change hands

Overall it's a VERY good discussion of projection, with the added lens of how we engage with stories. How only seeing what you want to see flattens the complexity of humans into characters. Beato's "redemption arc" is tropey for a reason! She even shouts out dating sims and anime as the inspiration for it to make it clear this was just her reducing herself to a character archetype! Umineko is very critical of the idea of redemption in the first place and it really shows here

[caterpillar3000]

Childhood art

[rustyreveries]

god i wish i had friends sometimes. being alone fucking sucks. for a really long time i liked it because my anxiety wasn't as bad and i could daydream in peace. but now i see everyone (both irl and online) talking to each other like they've all been best friends for years. everyone seems to know something i don't, and it's making my anxiety really bad. i guess i just feel left out, idk. stupid idiot attention seeking human feelings or whatever. bleh

[beeinatuxedo]

Silly Magnum by @freakdoodles & @cryptidbisexual

[straypupp]

It's okay to be afraid of love and care, especially if you've not been shown any good examples of such a thing or have been betrayed by the ones you've loved.

It is very scary to trust someone with your vulnerabilities and hope/rely that they will not betray said trust.

Don't give up that you deserve to be treated with love & care in the ways you wish, repressing your genuine desires will further harm the inner parts of you that are craving this kindness.

I hope that you're able to be brave and give yourself some of that tenderness you crave too, others were not able to care for you in the way that you needed.

People failing at being accountable/responsible is deeply upsetting, and I'm sorry for the pain you've endured.

Showing yourself little by little (doesn't have to be anything fancy or major) that you're worth the effort of kindness and proving to yourself that being mistreated wasn't your fault, + you do deserve love, I hope may change your mind over time.

But also it's okay if it hurts too much and you need lots of time (maybe even years or decades!) there's no rush and it's not mandatory to do even at all if you don't want to or can't.

It's okay to not be able to heal pain, there is no moral attachment to not being able to/not wanting to suffer.

You deserve rest and peacefulness.

I hope that you can do more nice things for yourself soon ♡

— 🦌

well damn, you made me cry.

i don't want to repress this need, it's so fundamental to who i am, i just feel myself hitting this point where i feel incredibly protective of that little spark, im not sure it can handle much more mistreatment and confusion. i want to keep it safe until there are soft, gentle hands in sight. for now those hands will have to be my own

i feel heartbroken but it's not about any one person it's just this deep ongoing emptiness and aloneness mixed w a sickening feeling of being misunderstood. feels like my hearts been torn out over and over and over and now there's barely any flesh keeping it in place, so i have to cradle it until it starts to take hold

im trying to love myself more, ive recently taken really big steps towards caring for my physical body and im really really proud of myself for doing so. yet still, at least right now, the thought of trust or fulfilling attraction sets off every single firealarm in my brain. i hope that changes too. thank you for your kind and thoughtful message, it's very comforting to read <3

[delsymthief]

hello.please look at my fursona and also followme

im making this to make myself make a drawing and post it even thougnh i did not do any Stimulant class drugs to draw it and plus i drew it on my freakinglaptop .you should be nice to me even though the drawing is bad and not good becuase i said so.thankyou. this is a "promo" so reblog it if youlike me:) (if U want to....)

BTW this might be my fursona design but it will probably look different^

[kunakawa-nuny]

I wanted to tell you something in this post.. more precisely, about history in a literature lesson. once we were asked to read some work, but I forgot about it.. I only knew about the work that the main character grew wheat. and so.. at the beginning of the literature lesson, the teacher was very angry because no one could answer his questions about the works (no one read), and now he asks me. the question was about what the main character was doing. For some reason I shouted: "He was brewing beer!!". the whole class was laughing. but it turned out to be the right answer....

I'm sorry if there are any mistakes!! I use a translator .

Thanks for reading, I do not know.. I just really wanted to share this funny story. I love, kiss and hug you all, my beloved!!🫂💕

[heartgold]

sometimes I think about how these monologues from Sayo and Natsuhi from eps 2 and 5 respectively directly parallel each other and feel ill

it's not just clueing the reader through association into realizing that Sayo is the baby in question, but also speaking a lot about their characters and their connection

Natsuhi committed murder because she couldn't cope with feeling humiliated by being given a baby to adopt, a denial of her worth as a woman in a family like the Ushiromiyas where bearing an heir is her role. passing her pain forwards, she kills an innocent servant and (fails to kill, but severely mutilates) a baby. this action changes the world itself as it starts a snowball towards the family's destruction. Natsuhi is tormented by guilt over her actions and tries to convince herself she is innocent so she can live on. she foists her sin onto the vague concept of a witch and demons that haunt Rokkenjima, trying to believe her own actions aren't to blame, the servant got lured into walking off the cliff through supernatural means. Natsuhi doesn't know about it but that's one of the foundations of magic in Umineko: constructing a fantasy narrative to paint over a harsh reality to make it easier to cope with. Natsuhi is shown to do this by picturing scenarios where Kinzo acknowledges her worth so that she can stand strong whenever the cruel reality of her circumstances tries to bring her down. she is also shown to feel a vague connection towards the concept of the witch of Rokkenjima, a bird that was trapped in a cage just like herself (by Kinzo, nonetheless). ep5 even points out that Natsuhi has a lot of latent magical potential and the makings of a witch

so, Natsuhi coped with that fateful day by removing it from her mind, she tried to completely shut away the memory and the guilt and the feelings that drove her to commit murder. she could distance herself from her own actions. but what about the victim on the other end, the baby who survived a murder attempt?

Sayo's monologue at the prologue of ep2 is fascinating because it stands for a lot of things at once and it gets continuously recontextualized through the story. initially it's shown as Shannon fulfilling her pact with Beatrice by smashing a sacred mirror in order to be granted success in love with George, but that's an obfuscated narration of what is actually happening. later it's revealed that Sayo tested Rokkenjima's old explosives by blowing up that crag with the shrine and torii, this being the point of no return for her in her resolution to actually carry out the family's massacre and ascertaining that she had all the means to accomplish that, putting that plan into motion. this is one of the meanings of her "old fate being smashed"

the other meanings that surface with full context of Sayo's circumstances are that of the day she was almost killed and the day she learned the truth and her entire world crumbled. obviously she can't literally remember the former, but the snowball of effects that that day brought upon her was something inescapable even before the truth came to light. her entire life was set on a completely different path thanks to it! the marks of it were literally inscribed upon her body! that's why when Natsuhi thinks about that day, she wants to forget, to shut the memory away, to convince herself she is blameless. a dead person is the perfect victim. Natsuhi can forget about everything with enough time. but Sayo survived and cannot forget or evade the effects of what Natsuhi did to her. the lies she was told about herself were short lived and she was already under severe distress before the bomb of truth finally detonated all her hopes and dreams for the future and ultimately set her on the path of exploding herself along with the entire family. the dynamic where one can move on after coping with guilt while the other has to deal with the material consequences of everything forever says a lot. Natsuhi is the Ushiromiyas' victim in many ways, but Sayo was even beneath her as the ultimate vessel of all the pain and trauma cycling through the family. Natsuhi was powerless before the Ushiromiyas but had power over the servants. she even got away with murdering one! still, while Sayo bore anger and resentment upon learning the truth, she wasn't motivated by revenge like ep5 makes it out to be. more than anything, she pities Natsuhi's circumstances and understands her pain better than anyone and grieves the possibility of a world where she could have been accepted and loved by her from the start. but that's not Her world. Sayo has many very complicated feelings towards Natsuhi and intentionally makes her suffer in her tales but also writes heartfelt parallels between Natsuhi and Beatrice. they are intrinsically connected right down to Natsuhi's predisposition to dealing with the fate of being a caged bird with magic. ep1 culminates with them facing each other in a duel, Sayo's trademark symbolic depiction of settling internal conflict. they are one and the same in many ways. even the framing of the monologue scene as "smashing the shrine's mirror to release Beatrice" is interesting considering that beyond Sayo's entire relationship with mirrors, Natsuhi owns a sacred mirror as a memento of her birth family (that she was forcefully torn away from) and this is brought up multiple times. it's a small but neat connection that feels meaningful

it makes me heartbroken to think about how both of them had the experience of having their lives and agency torn away from their hands and having to cope with the aftermath on their own. at the peak of her pain, Natsuhi smashes Sayo's fate. at the peak of her pain, Sayo smashes her own fate along with everyone else's. umineko is a cacophony of mirrors shattering mirrors like a trail of dominoes

[bettyist]

new blog first post yayyy

[beeinatuxedo]

HERE COMES THE BOOYY~ /LYR

@ilsole god we fucking love him

Also tried the alcohol markers to only realise that they barely match his colours

First attempt became a sudden after-beach episode, buddy was sunburnt

<3333 oh the dearest boy we love him anyways