#⭒ ˙ ˖ ✧ — ˗ˏˋ ❝ ᴀ ꜰʀᴇꜱʜʟʏ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇᴅ ᴡɪɴᴅ-ᴜᴘ ᴋᴇʏ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴄʟᴀᴍᴏʀ; ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ɪᴛ? ❞ ◌ ᴅᴀɴɢᴀɴʀᴏɴᴘᴀ 2 ¦ 「 Kazuichi 」

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(( Tag Dump - Kazuichi Souda ))

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“You’re either leaving here with a black eye or a hickey. Your choice.” (Fuyuhiko for Kazuichi lmao)

- ✩ 「   @honeydewmuses​​   」 ✩

 「 ☆ 」  Fuyuhiko is one of the toughest men Kazuichi knows… Which is both surprising and, in retrospect, completely understandable. He is a yakuza, after all. Kaz is pretty sure those guys have to be tough or they don’t last long. Plus he’s short. Which inherently means that he’s more likely to have people think they can mess with him. Kazuichi can’t imagine how annoying it would be to have guys think they could walk all over him because he couldn’t do anything about it. To be fair, people STILL do that to Kaz... because he can’t do anything. But it would probably be even worse if he didn’t have a semi-tough exterior to attempt hiding behind.

Fuyuhiko doesn’t have that luxury. He’s too cute... in a manly, cage someone against the wall and make them somehow feel SMALL kinda way. Kaz actually kinda likes it this time, feeling tiny compared to someone else. Having never been cornered like this without leaving with an injury of some sort, this is new territory for Kazuichi. Not that he’s complaining! Hickeys are definitely preferable to black eyes or bloody noses or broken bones or— ... Okay, yeah. This is a depressing line of thought. Time to bail and focus on something else.

Like trying not to make a complete fool of himself, despite not understanding what the FUCK is even happening right now. Barking out an awkward laugh, Kaz presses his back against the wall, palms flat against the surface as Kaz practically tries to slip into it. A futile effort, only further reminding him that he has literally nowhere to go. Burning in his jumpsuit, fingers flex against the wall as he forces himself to NOT nervously tug at the zipper in an attempt to get some relief. He is not prepared for whatever conversation a potential misunderstanding like that could bring. Cheeks flushed pink, equally rose-colored hues avert to the side as he shrugs— in a subconscious attempt to cover his neck —and stammers,  ❝  W-Well, I mean— heh... I’m not gonna choose black eye. That’d be a pretty stupid decision. Right?  ❞  

Tongue flits across his dry lips, hands drumming against the wall in a frantic pace as he looks around and says in a drawn-out voice,  ❝  Sooooooooooooooo... Um— Not to uh, not to be... y’know— but.... um—  ❞  Looking down at Fuyuhiko with clear confusion, he quirks a brow and asks,  ❝  Am I gonna have to bend down or—?  ❞

What... Fuyuhiko is short.   「 ☆ 」 

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“Y’know, ever since Peko… you know. Since that happened. I get this feeling sometimes, almost like a phantom limb. I turn around and expect her to be there to laugh with me or do whatever I need help with or just be there so I’m not alone. And it sucks, and I wish she were here, but… it kinda helps, having a knucklehead like you around. Some dumb cute bastard who can make me laugh and make me mad so I’m not just sad all the time and, yeah, reach the tall shelves. So. I guess I’m saying thanks for being that for me.” (Fuyuhiko for Kazuichi)

-  ✩   「   @honeydewmuses​  」   ✩

「 ☆ 」   Things suck right now… and Kazuichi is sure there’s a better way of putting that. Some eloquent or even just respectful way of describing the Hell they’ve been tossed into, disguised as an island paradise. But at the moment, emotionally exhausted from another day of wondering who is going to get killed next and then hating himself for wondering that, for being incapable of trusting people he should call his friends… he can’t be bothered to find a better way of putting the situation. It sucks. It sucks hard and it sucks long and yet Kaz knows it could still suck even worse.

Like Fuyuhiko being killed. That would be one of the suckiest things Kazuichi could imagine… As much as he hates to admit it, almost as much as he hates to hear Fuyuhiko admit it, he’s grateful for the other being around. To have someone THERE. Kazuichi has never been a solitary soul, always needing people around. Someone to keep him from going crazy with only his thoughts as company. It doesn’t end well for him, but that never stops him from clinging to whoever was next in line to screw him over. It’s pathetic, but it’s ingrained within him. A terror of being completely abandoned. Of not mattering, however little or selfishly, to at least one person in the fucked up world.

He thought he could make it easier on himself by putting some barriers in place. Some realistic expectations. Realizing that he’s not gaining friends, but ‘buddies’. Friends pick you up when you fall down. Buddies shove you to the ground in good-fun. Friends don’t make fun of you for crying. Buddies laugh at what a sissy you’re being. Friends make you feel warm and actually calm. Buddies make you feel grateful but uneasy, knowing how fragile it all is… Kazuichi can handle buddies. Buddies are better than bullies and safer than anything REAL. Fuyuhiko? He’s not a buddy. Hell, Kaz isn’t even sure if he should call him a friend.

Fuyuhiko is— Well, he’s Fuyuhiko.

It’s confusing as Hell and Kaz’s head hurts trying to figure him out. As if he stumbled upon an equation with a nonsensical answer. A problem that throws everything he thought he knew out of the window, leaving Kazuichi with a splitting headache and a pounding heart and sweaty palms and FUCK why does Fuyuhiko have to call him cute?? If it were anyone else, Kaz would assume they were mocking him. But Fuyuhiko doesn’t seem like the type to go for those kind of jokes. Even the insulting words sound fond coming from him. Especially not during a conversation that makes Kaz’s chest heavy, hands shoved in his pockets and gaze focused out on the sunset. This admission, it’s… serious.

It’s a sign of trust. A side of Fuyuhiko that isn’t flippantly offered. Honestly, Kaz doesn’t know why he’s allowed to see it. But he flashes a grateful, if sheepish, smile the yakuza’s way nonetheless.  ❝  Yeah? Well, thanks for getting how useful I can be.  ❞  He jokes, playfully shoving Fuyuhkio with his arm.  ❝  I am a man of many talents~  ❞  Lightly laughing, the sound doesn’t last long, fading into a soft sigh as Kaz looks down at the sand. Poking at it with his boot, brows knit as he contemplates for a breath, before continuing in a more hesitant tone,  ❝  … Seriously, though? I’m really glad you’re around, dude. I feel- better when you’re here.  ❞  

❝  Not to be weird or anything but— y’know… It’s- …. It’s hard. Losing someone close to you. I can’t exactly relate to- what happened, but I’ve- lost people…  ❞  Or rather, they’ve left him. Rubbing a hand against the back of his neck, he kicks a rock, watching as it rolls away,  ❝  It really does feel like losing a piece of yourself. Like, when they leave- they took part of you and now you’re just stuck waiting for them to bring it back. Waiting for things to be normal again. But they won’t. Or they can’t, I guess. So- you’re left broken and there’s nothing you can do about it.  ❞  He grimaces at the way his voice sounds, heavy and cracked, holding back emotions he tries not to think about. Looking off to the side, he blinks back tears he refuses to shed. He’s not going to ruin this. He’s not.

❝  But- hanging out with you makes me feel… like maybe that doesn’t matter as much. I can be screwed up and it’s okay because- … it’s just- okay.  ❞  He’s not used to things being okay. To having someone around who seems to enjoy him, flaws or not. Wiping at his eyes with his shoulder in what he hopes is a discreet manner, he looks back at Fuyuhiko with an anxious smile. The other man may have started the emotional conversation but Kaz is pretty sure he went too far with it,  ❝  So, uh- yeah! Thanks for being a cool dude I can count on!  ❞  

He can count on Fuyuhiko… Right?

He hopes so.   「 ☆ 」

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“So where does that soul brother thing come from, anyway? And why me? Not that I don’t like it, just… kinda feels like you pulled it outta nowhere.”

Hajime offers a shaky smile, not sure what he’s trying to get out of Kazuichi but sure he has to have this conversation. Even if it gets weird. Even if it doesn’t make a ton of sense to either of them.

“Oh, and, uh, about the matching swimsuits thing? I don’t really do swimsuits. Or beaches. When I do go to the beach, I’d rather get my clothes a little wet than wear a bathing suit. That way I can bind.”

Hopefully Kazuichi gets it. Hajime isn’t really looking to explain his gender or why he’s uncomfortable going topless or anything else like that. He just wants him to know that it wasn’t personal. Which is kinda weird, honestly, because usually Hajime doesn’t care if other people think he’s a bit of a dick. There’s something about Kazuichi that makes him want everything to be good between them. Maybe just that he cries easily. Yeah. That’s probably it.

-  ✩   「   @honeydewmuses​ ​​  」   ✩

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi doesn’t know how to act around guy friends.

Especially not guys who are funny— even if they can also be kinda frustrating and mean, in a strangely-appealing way —and smart and courageous and who seem to be trustworthy. Not that the last trait really means anything, but it’s still something of note. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to casually joke or talk with them, or how to compose himself in a way that doesn’t get him either punched or laughed ‘with’— which feels more like being laughed at. Not that he can ever mention it or the laughter just grows worse. Which sometimes makes him cry… and that usually brings on the punching.

But Hajime hasn’t hit him yet and Kazuichi is pretty sure he doesn’t want to. If Hajime did, then he’d probably be sporting a black eye by now. Hajime seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t be afraid to hit someone. Or maybe Kazuichi just assumes that of every guy… Either way, fists clench and unclench in his pockets, fidgeting with the thick material in a way he hopes isn’t not noticeable. He hates how fidgety he gets… Fingers are itching to mess with something. Anything. To feel the smoothness and weight of the wrench he carries on him— but people get weirded out about that —or run through his hair in repeated strokes, maybe toy with the braid he put on the side one day when his hands were working on their own and he decided he liked having a specific area to twirl and tug on… but people make fun of him for that too. It seems like everything he does is worth ridicule.

❝  Oh? … Oh...  ❞  Kazuichi says after a beat of quiet, confusion fading from his gaze as eyes widen in realization that he probably took a bit too long to reach. In his defense, he’d been too busy contemplating whether or not ‘soul brother’ is an odd thing to call someone. Binding. Right… Okay.  ❝  Yeah, that makes sense.  ❞  He says with a casual shrug, hand lifting from its pocket sanctuary to scratch at the back of his neck. Taking the information with the same gravitas as if Hajime told him his favorite color— huh, he wonders what that actually is… —Kazuichi briefly ponders if he’s screwing up. It’s probably a big deal, right? Should he be acting more surprised? Nah, that could come across as rude… It’s not like he’s NOT surprised. He just- … It’s Hajime. It’s not like being trans changes the fact that he’s a cool guy. Funny and smart and courageous and seemingly trustworthy.

Nothing has changed… Except now Kazuichi doesn’t have to worry about having weirded Hajime out with matching swimsuits. That’s a thing buddies do, isn’t it? Matching clothes. Maybe he can suggest something not so unintentionally- suggestive. Like shirts or something. Maybe bracelets? Nah, friendship bracelets are probably too much like what a chick would want. Still sounds fun though.

Putting a pin in that thought for later, already distracted from the earlier admission, he circles back to the soul brother comment. That’s something he still needs to worry about, even if Hajime claims not to mind it. If it wasn’t strange then it wouldn’t have been mentioned. Kazuichi has learned that him acting strangely— whether he is aware of it or not —can drive the right people away and keep the wrong ones close, if only because they find amusement in it. He’s not sure whether he prefers loneliness to being surrounded by people who mock him for entertainment. But right now, no matter what category Hajime ends up in, Kazuichi would prefer for him to hang around long enough for Kazuichi to be the one to make that decision.

 ❝  Anyway, the uh— the soul brother thing?  ❞  Kazuichi begins, lightly scratching at his cheek as he averts his gaze,  ❝  I dunno... It just- kinda came out? Not that it’s some stupid, meaningless thing or anything.  ❞  He hastily adds, hand moving to rub the back of his neck as he kicks at the ground with his foot,  ❝  I just mean that it felt right to say. Sometimes words come to you, so you- say ‘em. Y’know? Heh— Obviously, the ones that come to me aren’t always the best though.  ❞  Laughing awkwardly, he shrugs and rests his hands on his hips in what he hopes is a casual pose.  ❝  But I stand by that nickname!  ❞

Giving Hajime a thumbs up, Kazuichi beams a grin in the hope that Hajime offers a smile back, however pitying it may be,  ❝  ‘Cause I feel a real connection with ya, y’know? I mean, you’re pretty fun to hang around and you don’t seem to mind hanging around with me...  ❞  Don’t make this sad. Don’t make this weird. Don’t make Hajime regret talking to you at all.  ❝  And I don’t feel shitty when I’m around you, and God knows there’s a LOT to feel shitty about right now. But we can just talk and hang out and go along with whatever stupid thing I come up with... even if I have to bug you about it first.  ❞  Hajime hasn’t told him to fuck off yet though.

❝  As far as soul brothers go, I could do a lot worse than someone like you.  ❞     「 ☆ 」