#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — ˗ˏˋ ❝ ɪ’ᴠᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ᴇxᴄɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ— ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ɪ ᴍᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ❞ ¦ 「 Kazuichi and Hajime 」

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(( Tag Dump - Kazuichi Souda ))

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“So where does that soul brother thing come from, anyway? And why me? Not that I don’t like it, just… kinda feels like you pulled it outta nowhere.”

Hajime offers a shaky smile, not sure what he’s trying to get out of Kazuichi but sure he has to have this conversation. Even if it gets weird. Even if it doesn’t make a ton of sense to either of them.

“Oh, and, uh, about the matching swimsuits thing? I don’t really do swimsuits. Or beaches. When I do go to the beach, I’d rather get my clothes a little wet than wear a bathing suit. That way I can bind.”

Hopefully Kazuichi gets it. Hajime isn’t really looking to explain his gender or why he’s uncomfortable going topless or anything else like that. He just wants him to know that it wasn’t personal. Which is kinda weird, honestly, because usually Hajime doesn’t care if other people think he’s a bit of a dick. There’s something about Kazuichi that makes him want everything to be good between them. Maybe just that he cries easily. Yeah. That’s probably it.

-  ✩   「   @honeydewmuses​ ​​  」   ✩

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi doesn’t know how to act around guy friends.

Especially not guys who are funny— even if they can also be kinda frustrating and mean, in a strangely-appealing way —and smart and courageous and who seem to be trustworthy. Not that the last trait really means anything, but it’s still something of note. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to casually joke or talk with them, or how to compose himself in a way that doesn’t get him either punched or laughed ‘with’— which feels more like being laughed at. Not that he can ever mention it or the laughter just grows worse. Which sometimes makes him cry… and that usually brings on the punching.

But Hajime hasn’t hit him yet and Kazuichi is pretty sure he doesn’t want to. If Hajime did, then he’d probably be sporting a black eye by now. Hajime seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t be afraid to hit someone. Or maybe Kazuichi just assumes that of every guy… Either way, fists clench and unclench in his pockets, fidgeting with the thick material in a way he hopes isn’t not noticeable. He hates how fidgety he gets… Fingers are itching to mess with something. Anything. To feel the smoothness and weight of the wrench he carries on him— but people get weirded out about that —or run through his hair in repeated strokes, maybe toy with the braid he put on the side one day when his hands were working on their own and he decided he liked having a specific area to twirl and tug on… but people make fun of him for that too. It seems like everything he does is worth ridicule.

❝  Oh? … Oh...  ❞  Kazuichi says after a beat of quiet, confusion fading from his gaze as eyes widen in realization that he probably took a bit too long to reach. In his defense, he’d been too busy contemplating whether or not ‘soul brother’ is an odd thing to call someone. Binding. Right… Okay.  ❝  Yeah, that makes sense.  ❞  He says with a casual shrug, hand lifting from its pocket sanctuary to scratch at the back of his neck. Taking the information with the same gravitas as if Hajime told him his favorite color— huh, he wonders what that actually is… —Kazuichi briefly ponders if he’s screwing up. It’s probably a big deal, right? Should he be acting more surprised? Nah, that could come across as rude… It’s not like he’s NOT surprised. He just- … It’s Hajime. It’s not like being trans changes the fact that he’s a cool guy. Funny and smart and courageous and seemingly trustworthy.

Nothing has changed… Except now Kazuichi doesn’t have to worry about having weirded Hajime out with matching swimsuits. That’s a thing buddies do, isn’t it? Matching clothes. Maybe he can suggest something not so unintentionally- suggestive. Like shirts or something. Maybe bracelets? Nah, friendship bracelets are probably too much like what a chick would want. Still sounds fun though.

Putting a pin in that thought for later, already distracted from the earlier admission, he circles back to the soul brother comment. That’s something he still needs to worry about, even if Hajime claims not to mind it. If it wasn’t strange then it wouldn’t have been mentioned. Kazuichi has learned that him acting strangely— whether he is aware of it or not —can drive the right people away and keep the wrong ones close, if only because they find amusement in it. He’s not sure whether he prefers loneliness to being surrounded by people who mock him for entertainment. But right now, no matter what category Hajime ends up in, Kazuichi would prefer for him to hang around long enough for Kazuichi to be the one to make that decision.

 ❝  Anyway, the uh— the soul brother thing?  ❞  Kazuichi begins, lightly scratching at his cheek as he averts his gaze,  ❝  I dunno... It just- kinda came out? Not that it’s some stupid, meaningless thing or anything.  ❞  He hastily adds, hand moving to rub the back of his neck as he kicks at the ground with his foot,  ❝  I just mean that it felt right to say. Sometimes words come to you, so you- say ‘em. Y’know? Heh— Obviously, the ones that come to me aren’t always the best though.  ❞  Laughing awkwardly, he shrugs and rests his hands on his hips in what he hopes is a casual pose.  ❝  But I stand by that nickname!  ❞

Giving Hajime a thumbs up, Kazuichi beams a grin in the hope that Hajime offers a smile back, however pitying it may be,  ❝  ‘Cause I feel a real connection with ya, y’know? I mean, you’re pretty fun to hang around and you don’t seem to mind hanging around with me...  ❞  Don’t make this sad. Don’t make this weird. Don’t make Hajime regret talking to you at all.  ❝  And I don’t feel shitty when I’m around you, and God knows there’s a LOT to feel shitty about right now. But we can just talk and hang out and go along with whatever stupid thing I come up with... even if I have to bug you about it first.  ❞  Hajime hasn’t told him to fuck off yet though.

❝  As far as soul brothers go, I could do a lot worse than someone like you.  ❞     「 ☆ 」