#「⑆」 here i sit cursing my government 🗡️ meta 「⑆」

[assassincraft]

ive decided to just make a giant meta ab the ending episodes of assclass and why it really punches in the whole series

tw // murder, abuse, suicide, domestic abuse, child abuse, spoilers ahead for season 1 and 2

honestly, yanagisawa really dug in the truth to all the kids, rubbing it in their faces that they were koro’s weakness all along. that while he was shiro and itona was attacking, koro had to stop saving himself all along to save the kids first.

they witnessed more murders and attacks than they signed up for. they rub it in their faces that takaoka tried to take them out twice, that itona was weak and the tentacles would have killed him, that kayano was destined to die by the lab’s doings just like his sister.

he even made a sick joke about having kayano as a backup wife while she laid dead on the floor. they sat there and helplessly watched their best friend get murdered as their own parental figure was getting beaten down as well ???

nagisa picked up his friend, who LOVED HIM to death in all ways, DEAD body and held her dripping with blood through out the fight. the one person that didn’t bully him for looking more feminine, who got him chocolates but was too afraid to deliver them. that gave nagisa his ponytails at the beginning of class and gave him his confidence over his gender presentation that his mom took away from him ????

she’s dead, just like her sister, because of yanagisawa. who is the reason why koro’s a monster, who is the reason why kayano and itona had tentacles as well. they thought it was their only way to power, to revenge, to take back over their lives, that singlehandedly was all yanagisawa’s fault ????

during that last scene, reaper 2.0 attempts to murder them over 10 times, not counting all the times yanagisawa tried before, with itona. trying to drown them, getting the kid stuck in the crossfire, starting all of this to begin with?? takaoka and his little minions through out that few episodes, nagisa himself with the assassin with the whip in that one off trying to kill him and his mom ????

yanagisawa knows himself just how badly these children are mortified and traumatized and comments on it, and how he wants to make them suffer even more. theyre sitting there watching reaper get killed, and literally holding a dead body of their classmate, sobbing because they thought she was a goner for the time being.

and he had to tell them to take him out after the fight because the space station was going to take him out anyway. they wanted a way out... but there wasn’t one.

they had 28 minutes to kill their teacher. and took a vote, no one wanted to actually murder him, but they didn’t want the government to put the whole class to waste, their whole year and every lesson just... bullshit.

some of them crying while holding him down, no one really wanted to do it. nagisa started screaming once he tried to deliver the blow he was so emotional during it. that’s the one person who saw him, help him stand up to his mother, stop getting abused and tossed around. stood up to karma who kept dragging him down and belittling him at times, stopped his suicide attempt at the very first episode. not to mention talking to nagisa’s dad to try and get him to be more apart of his life down the road.

as of now they’re down 20 minutes already, the conversations and speech he gives, the vote, the talking to irina and karasuma, the role call, and some can’t even answer they’re crying so much. 10 minutes.

he has to calm nagisa back down to not kill him with regret and anger in his heart. to take a deep breath and remember the good and be happy with what he’s doing. he just shakes, and shakes, and shakes until after he’s calmed down, accepting the reality of it all.

but it’s so hard to be happy murdering someone who’s given you self worth, who might have been a bad person before but showed up for these students who were kicked in the dirt. he knows he gave their life meaning and even said it out loud.

and then they all just sob, sob, and sob over what was where his body was after nagisa finally stabs him, little lights and particles floating into the air and slipping through their hands literally. screaming, crying, denying, some refusing to open their eyes and just holding each other. the only thing they were left to cry over was his gown. irina and karasuma just watching them and failing to not cry themselves.

14-15 year old kids. they’ve just murdered someone against their will after trying so hard to prevent it, even risking him blowing up as a possibility.

they went back to the classroom looking for anything left of their teacher, and found year books, and a book of advice, and diplomas. they knocked out at their desks on top of the books left for them and didn’t wake till morning.

they get stuck being watched by the government and slapped with gag orders, adding insult to damn injury by the people who caused this in the first place. the media told the world that they were brainwashed, abused, had stockholm syndrome, that they were being held captive. it got broadcasted to the world to see and they couldn’t really hide from it anymore.

only for media to stalk them to their graduation they begged karasuma to let them actually go to despite them knowing at the end that it was going to happen, that the world wouldn’t let them live. insult to injury.

we’re left for the last scene of the anime being nagisa crying before they explain what happened after their class left.

nagisa never went back unlike everyone 7 years later, he didn’t keep up with anyone except karma so it seems from the movie.

[assassincraft]

RULES.  share four songs  /  pieces of music that represent your chara. ( repost, don’t reblog )

1. I WANTED SO BADLY TO BE BRAVE ( by the wonder years )

your father came in angry like a thunderstorm tossed you room from room and i watched color draining from your face fault lines started forming underneath all of your floorboards we sat terrified waiting on an earthquake

i watched you put on a brave face i wanted so badly to be brave ---- they’ll put a gun into your hand and call you weak until you're violent don't believe it they're hateful cause they're empty we've got a chance to break the cycle we could be the heroes that we always said we'd be "don't take me home, don't take me home, don't take me-”

ANALYSIS.  the first half really strikes a chord for me when nagisa’s mom storms into the classroom screaming over demanding nagisa to be moved out of the class and bribery. her grabbing him and abusing him in front of his own classmates and teachers. they couldn’t reall do anything other than watch her scream and throw a fit. they knew what he was now dealing with every day of his life.

for the second half, the government really did weaponize a class of failures and made fun of them and harassed them to make them want to do all of this. they didn’t want to at the end get rid of their teacher, to go back to the way things were before and how they were nobodies. they wanted to come out of this with it had meaning something to them, that they did right.

2. SLEEP IN THE HEAT ( by pup )

and nothin' i say will make it okay you just sleep in the heat and repeat you're wastin' away and nothin' i do is gonna save you i'm tryin' my best, but you can't even look at me and talk to me and tell me what's happening to you

yesterday, i went back to my apartment to see how you'd been holdin' up  you hadn't been eating, i thought you were sleepin', but you're not wakin' up and i want you to know that i'd spend every bit of my pitiful savings and loans  just to see you again but I know i won't

ANALYSIS. the death of koro sensei was hard on everyone, but in the anime they really dug it in of course for nagisa since he was the main character and main connection they made. having to volunteer to be the one to kill koro at the end despite trying to vouch for not killing him in the end really, really was painful. after for a moment losing two people in his mind after kayano was murdered, it really was just digging in loss for him. there’s nothing he could have done to stop this from happening, no money, no time, no words that could stop him from not having to kill koro. he had to do it and there was no way around it, and it was all just coming to an end that no one wanted, or could stop.

3. WELCOME TO THE FAMILY ( by watsky )

those fires in your attic that rage without permission some days invade your living room or break out in the kitchen they breeze right through the building they just show up as they please and then retreat like grown up children well how'd you like to split this L and tell me what you've witnessed if the price of life is hell well no one ever had to sell me on how nice a fire smells and there's so much I've been silent on

but i'll whisper every secret to you when this mic is gone and i know you'll listen  and i know it's different  but it gives me peace our missing pieces could be siblings the rough nights ain't leaving, so why the hell should we? and i say

welcome to the family

you deserve love you deserve love you deserve love

ANALYSIS.  from the start, nagisa has struggled with self image and doubt through out the series. wether at the start it was if he was worth being alive, if he is strong enough to confront his mother, or face the bullies simply harassing him in school. but his classmates for the most part have helped him through some really rough times. isogai, sugino, and maehara really were there for nagisa and have seen some really intense parts of his life. and them and the class are in it all together, lifting each other up and making sure along the way that their spirits are growing. by the end of the class, nagisa has self worth, power, strong love for himself as the end of it all hits with heavy waves.

4. HEAVEN’S GATE (SAD & SOBER)  ( by the wonder years )

you were a bandit, and i was a car wreck you were the decades on my feet i was under purple blankets

you were a bandit, and i was a car wreck you were the rifle on the wall and it was always gonna end

you were a bandit, and i was a car wreck you were the false rain that falls from a window AC unit

you were a bandit, and i was a car wreck you were the rifle on the wall and it was always gonna end like this

ANALYSIS.  the end of the assassination when the government tried to go behind their backs, they literally told the media that the kids were brainwashed and being held captive. that they all were stockholm-ed and wouldn’t admit to what was going on, they were stalked by the media and harassed while they tried to make their way up that mountain. 

but they knew what was up there all along. it was the first thing that he said to them, that by the end of the year, he would either be killed, or take the earth with him. despite them finding out the reason of why the earth would be destroyed being not his fault anymore, it was too dangerous. they had to do it, it was a story in motion, and it was always, always going to end this way despite how hard nagisa and half of the class, wanted to stop this fate.

TAGGED BY.  nobody found it on the dash like 4 years ago !! TAGGING.  @rooftop-blues @jaxxmulti @outahell @rahbid if you all want to !!

[assassincraft]

let’s talk about nagisa and feeling helpless when things happen outside of his control ?? (kayano’s death and takaoka making him think all of his friends were dead specifically !!)

nagi’s facial expression upon seeing kayano stabbed by the fake god of death’s tentacle was horrifying, i’ve never seen someone so taken back by death when they’ve spent a whole year facing traumatic events back to back. he’s dealt with so much, almost killing takaoka, thinking his friends were murdered by him got a similar reaction.

these are the two times nagisa has even looked close to horrified and truly even realized how helpless he was in a situation. his friends got abducted by high schoolers and almost raped and he couldn’t do anything and got knocked out cold but he didn’t have the same reaction. because he knew koro-sensei could help them and that they’d be saved in the end.

but the two times he knew it was the end, he looked like his life had really been ripped away from him ??

takaoka’s fake-y death with his friends

nagisa thought that takaoka had really poisoned all of his friends and he had the antidote and he did whatever takaoka said. he got on his knees and put his forehead to the ground and BEGGED, let takaoka step on his head and push his face into the top of the hotel they were on. 

all of that just for the shits and giggles takaoka blew it up anyway, nagisa looked back at his classmates with horror, one of them who was sick actually came with (terasaka) and he had to look that sick friend in the face as if he just killed him and sealed his fate. that he just murdered his whole class himself and that he was truly the weakest link and contemplated his whole life.

he never even looked this scared when his mother would beat him, when she abused the fuck out of him and made him feel like dirt and forced him into feminization. he took the knife from the floor and decided that he was right then and there going to kill takaoka himself. the target on hand being koro flew out of his mind and he wanted takaoka dead, he wanted to kill the very man that just murdered all of his friends in front of him.

it took terasaka throwing the taser rod at nagisa’s back to knock him out of his bloodlust and for him to be okay and collect his thoughts. he still thought all of his friends were dead but he took terasaka down without killing him, but he did make him suffer. nagisa drove a man to INSANITY just with his smile.

he actually looked ANGRY. we haven’t seen this anger throughout the first season of the anime at all, nagisa has been a ball of self loathing and depression, he fucking attempted suicide the VERY FIRST EPISODE OF THE ANIME FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

       2. kayano’s death

the facial expression nagisa made when the fake god of death’s tentacle went through her chest was another one of sheer horror. not only did yanagisawa cause the death of both of the yukimura sisters, he made a disgusting joke about how he should have kept akari (kayano) to be his wife since aguri was killed when koro broke out of the experiment chamber. 

koro sensei became a teacher, and told the tentacles that he wanted to be weak so he could understand them, that he could be a good teacher and continue on her work and be as dedicated as a teacher as she was to these kids that needed him. and the very man that made koro what he was and abused his fiance who ended up falling in love with koro-sensei. she loved him and he drove her away while koro and her fell in love to the point that he protected her until her dying breath.

nagisa had to hear about all of this, witness the very death of kayano, picking up her dead body off the ground so the dirt didn’t come in contact with her open wound. and let me tell you as a person who studies death, a freshly dead person IS NOT GREAT TO REALLY BE AROUND. he could feel her body limp and growing colder without a doubt and nagisa has been easily traumatized by that.

he held her without a damn expression to his face, he even didn’t have much of a reaction as koro brought her back to life. he was face to face with death in that moment, more intimate than the takaoka situation since there was a corpse in his hands. not only did he see kayano die, but he witnessed the fake god of death’s death, and yanagisawa; and then he had to kill koro sensei HIMSELF. he dealt with 4 deaths that day.

he screamed and finally cried and got snotty after koro-sensei’s body finally evaporated with the last bit of light slipping away. this boy cried for two whole days straight and only fell asleep when the whole class cried themselves to sleep before graduation.

nagisa has seen death, he’s known it for that whole year, it’s shaped who he is.

[assassincraft]

whiskey by dozer tx

                i got this song on a mixtape from one of the handguns members outside of a the wonder years concert. recently after my breakup i’ve been listening to it a lot and all i can think of is how it really applies to nagisa ??

                                “ my head is killing me. It's 3am and i can't sleep.                                 it's only when i try to close my eyes that i have these dreams. ” 

                like... nagisa without a doubt has ptsd going on and gets nightmares, to the point where he shoots out of bed in a cold sweat and doesn’t go back to bed. he ends up on his phone playing pocket camp or on his ps4 playing monster hunter and joining random quests.

                                “ i think about the times that we would talk before you died.                                 sad thing about it is i never got to say goodbye. ”

                he doesn’t like the way him and koro-sensei had to say goodbye, that it was so forced and that he had to kill his teacher at all. if you watched the anime, he was on the team towards the end that wanted to find a way out of killing him. nagisa and koro-sensei had really deep talks about nagi and his self worth, about the time nagisa attempted suicide in the middle of the classroom. about the time that his mom outed him to his classroom that she was forcing him into feminization. he said goodbye before he put the knife to his heart yes, but he wanted to tell him that he did a lot for him, that he really saved him from a dark part in his life.

                everyone thought that the class was full of thugs, murderers, outcasts and a bunch of kids that were nothing but failures in the eye of the public. being in that class meant that no college would ever accept you into their leagues, your life was basically over. koro changed the system for these kids due to what happened with the past teacher and him. he promised them he would give these kids a future and that’s what he did, he gave nagisa a chance at life even.

                            “ and i think to myself, why would i wanna be anyone other than who i am now ??                                                     i'll figure it out. ”

              for a long time nagisa had his mind set on being an assassin as a job, in the anime he asked koro-sensei what he thought of him becoming an assassin. karasuma and koro-sensei were concerned at the beginning because they knew nagisa would be VERY good at being an assassin, but... just knew deep down the job wasn’t for him. they couldn’t nurture a monster if his emotions festered and that’s what was driving his motive for being an assassin.

                            “ i look into the mirror, i see your face look back at me.                             if only i could be half the man that you used to be. ”

                nagisa will NEVER STOP comparing himself to koro-sensei since he figured out that he wanted to be a teacher after he left e-class. all he wants to do is help people as much as koro-sensei helped him, that he wants to change lives and be worth something, make people believe in themselves like he did. he wants to inspire, but he belittles his quality because he knows he can never do what his teacher did in the end, or at least that’s what he believes.

                            “ it's really killing me, these thoughts of life's uncertainty.                             it's really hard right now but mom said you were proud of me. ”

              without any doubt in the world that nagisa is very... unmotivated and uncertain of things after the assassination. he doesn’t trust people, his parents are something that he’s on the edge with, but he did NOT believe that koro-sensei got his mom and dad back together. that his parents got back together because koro told them both how he wanted to be called his first name so if his parents ever got remarried that he wouldn’t have to be called by a different last name. that he wouldn’t have trouble readjusting to everything if that change came to bloom. the idea of nagisa’s mom probably telling nagisa after everything how much his teacher cared about him and how proud he would be would just make him even more of a mess, because after all of that there was no way out of killing him. he could still be here today, and that’s all he really wanted.

[assassincraft]

ALRIGHT YOU FUCKS IM GONNA RANT ABOUT NAGISA BC I WATCHED THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE SO YA’LL ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

SPOILERS AHEAD, TALKING ABOUT THE MAIN DEATH IN THE ANIME and how big the impact was on nagisa

well here we fucking go, killing korosensei himself, being the one to land the knife was very harmful to nagisa in the long run. he knew it was saying thank you for all he’s done and proving what he could now do thanks to his teacher, but in the end, it was still killing the most important person in his life. it was still nagisa killing his teacher, the person that helped him get his grades up and on track for a better life.

episode one nagisa tried to kill himself, and koro said that anyone that can’t even find hope in their own life, can not also take the life of another. it shook nagisa out of it and he was now able to focus on assassination and his own self esteem. the same man also taught them how to cook for themselves and proper ways to self care, things he never knew he had to do.

HE SAW THE POTENTIAL TO BE A PRIME ASSASSIN IN NAGISA AND WAS SCARED TO TEACH HIM MORE. he didn’t know if it would be good for nagisa to be good as an assassin, thinking about the kid’s own well being. nagisa also thought about it, and didn’t want to put anyone else at risk that he knew by knowing him be an assassin past the classroom.

he acts like hes very strong, but he knows that he has his own problems, hence koro helping him with his mother, the lowest of low of self esteem he had because of her. forced feminization to the extreme to the point where nagisa couldn’t function due to it at points in his life. 

he had to kill the very man who built him up, gave him a stable foundation, and was left and expected to build on it. he tries to keep it together but there are cracks in the foundation still that just had a temporary patch up. he tries to help other people all the time and usually concerns with others first, but he can’t help himself even at times. 

nagisa knows he just always cant be happy and that’s okay, but lately its been down more than highs since he killed koro. he’s tired of getting followed by reporters, hes still scared to cut his hair even if it’d mean the world to him if he did it. he’s still struggling with a tempered mother and his father trying to get back together even if things are still bad. he’s waiting for things to settle but the foundation he had keeps cracking, but hes not giving into anything, no, he’s still trying, but things are shaky.

[assassincraft]

「⑆」 tags 「⑆」

「⑆」 we could be the hero’s that we always said we’d be 🗡️ main verse 「⑆」

「⑆」 serpent 🗡️ fc 「⑆」

「⑆」 floating on our backs weʼre staring at the stars 🗡️ likes 「⑆」

「⑆」 nursing a coffee from a vending machine 🗡️ aesthetic 「⑆」

「⑆」 they soften your absence but they donʼt let me dream 🗡️ text posts 「⑆」

「⑆」 no one really cares who gets shot and i just canʼt bear to watch 🗡️ images 「⑆」

「⑆」 cut me to thе bone but donʼt pull out the knife 🗡️ quotes 「⑆」

「⑆」 bloody drip and a taste on my lips 🗡️ queue 「⑆」 

「⑆」 aju nice !! ☠️ kassim speaks 「⑆」

「⑆」 the tempoʼs in my blood now i hum it when iʼm lonely 🗡️ speakers 「⑆」

「⑆」 i will address the issues i can not ignore 🗡️ asks 「⑆」

「⑆」 i wonʼt say a word until you stop breathing 🗡️ in character 「⑆」

「⑆」 it has more to do with me killing him than it ever did protecting myself 🗡️ closed rp 「⑆」

「⑆」 i’d rather be kentucky fried than alive and kicking in jersey any day ☠️ selca 「⑆」

「⑆」 maybe we’re just having too much fun ☠️ connections drop 「⑆」

「⑆」 i canʼt explain anything anymore anyway ☠️ hiatus notice 「⑆」

「⑆」 hey man i love you but no fucking way ☠️ semi hiatus notice 「⑆」

「⑆」 3e memes 🗡️ crack 「⑆」

「⑆」 why do you feel you have to talk 🗡️ dash com 「⑆」

「⑆」 i still dream about you time and time again 🗡️ wishlist 「⑆」

「⑆」 a reason to smile from 6 feet underground 🗡️ promo 「⑆」

「⑆」 youʼll stay as a reminder of how fucked this world can be 🗡️ post verse 「⑆」

「⑆」 i shoulda tapped out given into my demons 🗡️ pre anime verse 「⑆」

「⑆」 here i sit cursing my government 🗡️ meta 「⑆」

「⑆」 feel selfish that we still want you alive 🗡️ psa 「⑆」