#きみが心に棲みついた ep1

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Appearing before The Dramacourt: You Always Haunt My Heart Eps 1 and 2

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Issues:

Whether it was reasonable for Kojiro Yoshizaki to criticize Ogawa Kyoko during a gokon

Whether it was reasonable for Kojiro to avoid Kyoko at first

Whether Ren is pretty messed up

The Rule(s):

Yes!

Definitely!

Yes. So messed up.

Analysis:

Jubiemon J: I came across this Japanese drama randomly and decided to give it a shot. I started from the second episode and was a bit annoyed by the female lead, Ogawa Kyoko, at first, but then someone mentioned in the comments that this drama had been adapted from a manga. I decided to read the first volume of the manga and was disturbed, but nevertheless intrigued. I decided to give this drama another go and luckily, it is just as interesting as the manga thanks to the decent actresses and actors (esp Mukai Osamu who plays Hoshina Ren here).

I think what’s really interesting about this drama is that you can’t really tell who the male lead is, in this case. Kyoko is still obviously attached to Ren, in a psychological sense, yet she also wants to break free from him, making her become attracted to Kojiro. Ren acts as her security blanket–the only one that was able to accept her flaws and see her in positive light back when she was all alone in university. It’s natural for her to still be drawn to that dependency. However, she has experienced a very negative and scary experience with Ren and after that, she has realized how important it is to break free from Ren.

Look at that scary scene from the past . . . Kyoko lying there..

Truth be told, she probably sees through who Ren really is but still has a bit of trouble accepting it. Here we have her in this drama, struggling to follow her mind, which is telling her to move on and change into a stronger person, versus her heart, which is wanting her to stay the same and be glued to Ren.

Kyoko believing in him . . . thinking that he’s an angel

Ren: You don’t have anyone to talk to but me…

Usually I don’t give summaries about a drama, but in this case, I think it’s important to give some background to understand where Kyoko is coming from and why she acts in certain ways. (Of course, the drama doesn’t show Kyoko’s past so linearly, but I’m going to do that so it’s easier to follow along.) Kyoko has always had low self-esteem and self-confidence due to her stuttering and weaker social skills. It doesn’t help that her classmates in elementary school, high school, and college have all made fun of her. They switch one part of her name so that it turns into something that means being petrified/shocked. That name is like a dog tag and follows her around throughout her life; she’s pretty much branded and believes that she’s like that. It’s even worse that her mother is so negative towards her and favours her younger sister far more. Her mother sees no talent in Kyoko and is very ashamed of Kyoko’s stuttering. As a result, Kyoko has never felt loved or accepted and becomes very vulnerable to exploitation.

This exploitation comes from Ren who acts like the perfect Prince. He is everything you’d expect in a gentleman–kind, accepting, smart, gentle, and handsome. He is the only one that tells her that she can be herself and stay as herself. Because it’s the first time that anyone has said that to her, Kyoko feels very loved and secure. She becomes very dependent on Ren and goes to him whenever she has problems at home or at school. Ren teaches her how to be more comfortable with herself by wearing a braided scarf. Before, Kyoko would wear braids and braid her hair to feel secure. After Ren’s teaching, she begins to wear braided scarves. (This is also a symbol of her dependency towards Ren. It’s sort of like how her heart is knotted and she can’t get out of this entanglement. To Ren, her braided scarf is like a dog leash. It means that he is hers.)

Ren braiding that scarf to replace her braids

Ren: You just have to stay as is.

Ren: Stay how you are.

Kyoko: Stay as is?

One day, Ren is crying in a classroom and Kyoko asks if there’s anything that she could do for him. Ren tells her to live only for him and she agrees. The next scene we see is Kyoko on the ground with her long hair cut by Ren’s scissors. Ren is on top of her and probably has tried to kill her. (Severe trigger warning (Do not read this part if you feel uncomfortable with disturbing sexual content: In the drama, we see that Kyoko once performed a strip show to comfort Ren’s guy friend. In the manga, however, this part is darker. Instead of a strip show, Kyoko slept with the guy friend/classmate. Ren tried to test Kyoko’s loyalty by asking her to sleep with guy friend of his. If she did, then Ren would break up with his many girlfriends and only give his attention to Kyoko. Kyoko didn’t want to at first, but then Ren pointed to her that she had agreed that she’d do anything for Ren. Kyoko naively slept with the guy friend of his in a classroom while Ren waited outside. When she and the guy finished, you could see that her underwear had been stained red, meaning that she gave her virginity to that stranger. She then told Ren that she listened to him, which would mean that he’d only date her. Ren pushed her away, saying that she was filthy and gross. He said that she was like a whore and would open her legs up for anyone. Then he left her crying in that classroom.)

Ren: You said you’d do anything for me right?

Kyoko: I did . . .

Ren: Then let me see your genuineness. If you do then I’ll break up with all the other girls and only be with you.

Kyoko: . . .

Kyoko: Really? You’d do that?

Outside of this university club and inside are men waiting for Kyoko to strip…

Naive girl listens to Ren

Takes off her clothes

Noooo, Kyoko! Don’t do it. Don’t do it.

Loses her soul here . . .

Stop girl . . . seriously broke my heart seeing her do this.

😥 😥 

(Trigger warning: Ren, in the manga, is shown to have been abused by a parent who would strangle him until he peed his pants. The abuse likely caused him to have this messed up personality.)

After that event where Ren tried to kill her, the two separated and Kyoko now is working at a lingerie store. She is in charge of determining the fabric for the lingerie and works with designers. She goes on a gokon where she meets Kojiro, who is an editor for a mangaka. Kojiro is the opposite of Ren. Kojiro is very blunt, honest, and good hearted. Unlike Ren who seems like a perfect prince at first glance, Kojiro gives off an intimidating vibe that makes him seem mean/unapproachable. Ironically, Kojiro has a very kind heart, which Kyoko sees and becomes attracted to. Just when Kyoko thinks that she is finally moving on, however, Ren comes back into her life . . . as one of her managers.

Look at the bright and happy Kojiro!!

Calling her to thank her about writing her thoughts about the manga he’s editing

Look at how happy she is being with Kojiro!

I’d say that this drama is not for the lighthearted and is not the typical rom com with all that fluff. This drama carries a lot of dark emotions and deep, psychological subjects. It’s that type of drama where you think is really . . . off-putting at some points, but then you can’t help but keep watching it. You want to know whether Kyoko will change. That’s what’s making me watch it.

Actually, Kojiro and Kyoko are more similar than at first glance. Kojiro also likes to say “a person like me” and feels inferior to this woman who he seems to like/have some attachment to. He keeps avoiding this woman’s texts and calls like how Kyoko is avoiding Ren’s constant unknown number calls. I think they’re both trying to move on with their lives, but some other figures are pulling them back. I hope Kyoko and Kojiro will mature together.

  Issue 1: Whether it was reasonable for Kojiro Yoshizaki to criticize Ogawa Kyoko during a gokon

Jubiemon J: Yes! It was totally reasonable for him to criticize Kyoko. Kyoko needed someone harsh to tell her that she was being stagnant and somewhat arrogant for thinking that she could just stay the way she was and expect anyone to love her. Kyoko made this huge outburst (she often does b/c she’s not very good at communicating and hence bottles up her thoughts for too long until she can’t contain them) during the gokon. She was trying to clarify to the people at the table that she wasn’t in love with Ren. Ren was the one that caused her to be unable to be in normal relationships and that anyone that could accept her flaws would be good enough for a normal romance. Kojiro gave her more perspective by challenging what she said.

Changing her order to please her friend

Judging her weak behaviour…

Bursting out with some explanation about how anyone will do

Criticizing her

Kojiro points out that she’s a pushover. Though she wanted tequila, she ended up with the Chicago after her friend told her that she should order that. She also loves her job, yet she ended up agreeing with one of the guys at the table that she’d rather be a housewife, for the sake of being scared of voicing her opinion. However, Kojiro does end his speech with a “just kidding”, to make the atmosphere not so awkward. We all know that he’s being serious though. He finishes his speech by saying that he said all those things because that was what the book that she had said to do. (A self-help book that was supposed to help her improve her communication skills fell out of her purse during the dinner.) The book happens to be one that the publishing company that Kojiro works at published.

Overall, I think Kojiro is a good influence on Kyoko and I’m excited to see their relationship develop more.

Issue 2: Whether it was reasonable for Kojiro to avoid Kyoko at first

Jubiemon J: Definitely! After Kojiro scolded her at the gokon, she ended up confessing to him. She barely even knows the guy! Plus, she was asking him for his address while clinging onto him. That was pretty freaky.

Kyoko confessing that she wants to be like him who is able to order Oolong tea.

She wants to exchange emails.

She says no, I want your address. I like you. Please date me.

Kojiro running off – basic instincts. Fight or flight.

I’m glad that he didn’t immediately accept her because I think in the real world, you wouldn’t do that unless you’re really interested in just sleeping with her. He can sense that there’s something off about her, so it’d be best to run away and try not to see her again. I’m also glad that he didn’t accept her because that way it’d push Kyoko to try to improve herself so that he will not be scared of her. If he had, it’d be a repeat of Kyoko x Ren.

Issue 3: Whether Ren is pretty messed up

Jubiemon J: Ren is totally messed up. His traumatic childhood has led him to become a manipulative, insecure mastermind. We see in ep 2 that he was abused as a kid where his dad would threaten to stab him. Subsequently, he acts that out in real life when he’s “trying” to protect this female co-worker from this ex-lover of hers. He is happy when he sees people at their worst, whether it be in fear, upset, or frustration. Ren honestly preys on the weak and needs to have control over everything, from his work to his personal relationships.

The main reason for this need for control is, again, from his childhood. He didn’t have any control; like I said, in the manga, he was choked until he peed his own pants. It’s only when he has control does he feel secure; it’s sort of like how Kyoko needs that braided scarf to calm her down and ground her. Instead of a scarf to chain him, Ren needs to chain others/situations.

Kyoko: I never said that I’d go meet you tonight . . .

Ren: You never forgot about me right?

Kyoko: I’ve forgotten about you.

Ren: Then what’s that scarf? 

Moreover, his childhood has made him insecure, in the sense that he doesn’t believe that anyone will actually fully love and accept him. That’s likely why he made Kyoko do something so extreme like strip in front of a crowd or in the manga, sleep with his guy friend. He wants to test her boundaries, yet when she does agree to his request, he can’t stand that she is “tainted” and is also afraid that someone will completely accept him. If someone does wholeheartedly love him, then he’d likely fall for her. If that’s the case, then he’d lose control over the situation; his feelings won’t be in control. He can’t stand that.

He can’t take losing control and that’s also why he keeps stressing to Kyoko that she doesn’t need to change. She just needs to remain as is. It’s like that classic story of someone caging a golden bird, not allowing the bird to fly free. Thus, when Kyoko is looking to improve herself, Ren keeps putting her down and creating situations where Kyoko will “have to” rely on him. We’ve seen how he purposely put her to work with a challenging designer because he knows that Kyoko wouldn’t be able to take the designer’s constant backlash. She’d have to rely on him. She surprises him by succeeding and though he does praise her, he later creates a situation where Kyoko is vulnerable again.

Ren: People never change.

Kyoko crying . . .

Props to Mukai Osamu for taking on this challenging role as Ren. I didn’t think Mukai Osamu did great as George in the movie adaption of Paradise Kiss, but in this drama, wow . . . he really has outdone himself! I’m talking about his micro expressions and subtle actions that totally show Ren’s darker side. Watch his eyes and his sly smile when you watch this drama. You’ll totally get the creeps and Muaki Osamu is really like the Ren in the manga.

Look at that creepy stare.

King of sinister smiles

Scary look again

The real Ren in action

Disgusting friend . . . he’s terrible (even worse in the manga)

Friend’s comment about Ren’s nose job makes Ren super mad. (Friend said he should get a nose job himself to become as popular as Ren with the ladies. This also implies Ren’s nose was broken due to abuse.)

Seriously . . . a very evil, enraged stare. This is the real Ren, people.

Props to Yoshioka Riho for doing her best as Kyoko. Though she’s not 100% like the Kyoko in the manga, she still does a great job with portraying awkwardness. She has also been good at being someone with low self-confidence; you see her with her back always slouched and head down.

Conclusion: Appeal Allowed.

Rating: 5 = KYAH!! (I know this drama has dark/potentially disturbing content that’s not for the faint-hearted, but I think the way the cast has dealt with the characters and the way that the drama has tried to be true to the manga have been great. This drama just keeps you wondering what’s going to happen next and whether Kyoko will really escape Ren.)

File No: You-Always-Haunt-My-Heart-Eps-1-&-2 Appearing before The Dramacourt: You Always Haunt My Heart Eps 1 and 2 ***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read