#きみが心に棲みついた thoughts

[thedramafilesblog-blog]

Appearing before The Dramacourt: You Always Haunt My Heart Eps 1 and 2

***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read The Rules section first for our reviewing and rating system***

Issues:

Whether it was reasonable for Kojiro Yoshizaki to criticize Ogawa Kyoko during a gokon

Whether it was reasonable for Kojiro to avoid Kyoko at first

Whether Ren is pretty messed up

The Rule(s):

Yes!

Definitely!

Yes. So messed up.

Analysis:

Jubiemon J: I came across this Japanese drama randomly and decided to give it a shot. I started from the second episode and was a bit annoyed by the female lead, Ogawa Kyoko, at first, but then someone mentioned in the comments that this drama had been adapted from a manga. I decided to read the first volume of the manga and was disturbed, but nevertheless intrigued. I decided to give this drama another go and luckily, it is just as interesting as the manga thanks to the decent actresses and actors (esp Mukai Osamu who plays Hoshina Ren here).

I think what’s really interesting about this drama is that you can’t really tell who the male lead is, in this case. Kyoko is still obviously attached to Ren, in a psychological sense, yet she also wants to break free from him, making her become attracted to Kojiro. Ren acts as her security blanket–the only one that was able to accept her flaws and see her in positive light back when she was all alone in university. It’s natural for her to still be drawn to that dependency. However, she has experienced a very negative and scary experience with Ren and after that, she has realized how important it is to break free from Ren.

Look at that scary scene from the past . . . Kyoko lying there..

Truth be told, she probably sees through who Ren really is but still has a bit of trouble accepting it. Here we have her in this drama, struggling to follow her mind, which is telling her to move on and change into a stronger person, versus her heart, which is wanting her to stay the same and be glued to Ren.

Kyoko believing in him . . . thinking that he’s an angel

Ren: You don’t have anyone to talk to but me…

Usually I don’t give summaries about a drama, but in this case, I think it’s important to give some background to understand where Kyoko is coming from and why she acts in certain ways. (Of course, the drama doesn’t show Kyoko’s past so linearly, but I’m going to do that so it’s easier to follow along.) Kyoko has always had low self-esteem and self-confidence due to her stuttering and weaker social skills. It doesn’t help that her classmates in elementary school, high school, and college have all made fun of her. They switch one part of her name so that it turns into something that means being petrified/shocked. That name is like a dog tag and follows her around throughout her life; she’s pretty much branded and believes that she’s like that. It’s even worse that her mother is so negative towards her and favours her younger sister far more. Her mother sees no talent in Kyoko and is very ashamed of Kyoko’s stuttering. As a result, Kyoko has never felt loved or accepted and becomes very vulnerable to exploitation.

This exploitation comes from Ren who acts like the perfect Prince. He is everything you’d expect in a gentleman–kind, accepting, smart, gentle, and handsome. He is the only one that tells her that she can be herself and stay as herself. Because it’s the first time that anyone has said that to her, Kyoko feels very loved and secure. She becomes very dependent on Ren and goes to him whenever she has problems at home or at school. Ren teaches her how to be more comfortable with herself by wearing a braided scarf. Before, Kyoko would wear braids and braid her hair to feel secure. After Ren’s teaching, she begins to wear braided scarves. (This is also a symbol of her dependency towards Ren. It’s sort of like how her heart is knotted and she can’t get out of this entanglement. To Ren, her braided scarf is like a dog leash. It means that he is hers.)

Ren braiding that scarf to replace her braids

Ren: You just have to stay as is.

Ren: Stay how you are.

Kyoko: Stay as is?

One day, Ren is crying in a classroom and Kyoko asks if there’s anything that she could do for him. Ren tells her to live only for him and she agrees. The next scene we see is Kyoko on the ground with her long hair cut by Ren’s scissors. Ren is on top of her and probably has tried to kill her. (Severe trigger warning (Do not read this part if you feel uncomfortable with disturbing sexual content: In the drama, we see that Kyoko once performed a strip show to comfort Ren’s guy friend. In the manga, however, this part is darker. Instead of a strip show, Kyoko slept with the guy friend/classmate. Ren tried to test Kyoko’s loyalty by asking her to sleep with guy friend of his. If she did, then Ren would break up with his many girlfriends and only give his attention to Kyoko. Kyoko didn’t want to at first, but then Ren pointed to her that she had agreed that she’d do anything for Ren. Kyoko naively slept with the guy friend of his in a classroom while Ren waited outside. When she and the guy finished, you could see that her underwear had been stained red, meaning that she gave her virginity to that stranger. She then told Ren that she listened to him, which would mean that he’d only date her. Ren pushed her away, saying that she was filthy and gross. He said that she was like a whore and would open her legs up for anyone. Then he left her crying in that classroom.)

Ren: You said you’d do anything for me right?

Kyoko: I did . . .

Ren: Then let me see your genuineness. If you do then I’ll break up with all the other girls and only be with you.

Kyoko: . . .

Kyoko: Really? You’d do that?

Outside of this university club and inside are men waiting for Kyoko to strip…

Naive girl listens to Ren

Takes off her clothes

Noooo, Kyoko! Don’t do it. Don’t do it.

Loses her soul here . . .

Stop girl . . . seriously broke my heart seeing her do this.

😥 😥 

(Trigger warning: Ren, in the manga, is shown to have been abused by a parent who would strangle him until he peed his pants. The abuse likely caused him to have this messed up personality.)

After that event where Ren tried to kill her, the two separated and Kyoko now is working at a lingerie store. She is in charge of determining the fabric for the lingerie and works with designers. She goes on a gokon where she meets Kojiro, who is an editor for a mangaka. Kojiro is the opposite of Ren. Kojiro is very blunt, honest, and good hearted. Unlike Ren who seems like a perfect prince at first glance, Kojiro gives off an intimidating vibe that makes him seem mean/unapproachable. Ironically, Kojiro has a very kind heart, which Kyoko sees and becomes attracted to. Just when Kyoko thinks that she is finally moving on, however, Ren comes back into her life . . . as one of her managers.

Look at the bright and happy Kojiro!!

Calling her to thank her about writing her thoughts about the manga he’s editing

Look at how happy she is being with Kojiro!

I’d say that this drama is not for the lighthearted and is not the typical rom com with all that fluff. This drama carries a lot of dark emotions and deep, psychological subjects. It’s that type of drama where you think is really . . . off-putting at some points, but then you can’t help but keep watching it. You want to know whether Kyoko will change. That’s what’s making me watch it.

Actually, Kojiro and Kyoko are more similar than at first glance. Kojiro also likes to say “a person like me” and feels inferior to this woman who he seems to like/have some attachment to. He keeps avoiding this woman’s texts and calls like how Kyoko is avoiding Ren’s constant unknown number calls. I think they’re both trying to move on with their lives, but some other figures are pulling them back. I hope Kyoko and Kojiro will mature together.

  Issue 1: Whether it was reasonable for Kojiro Yoshizaki to criticize Ogawa Kyoko during a gokon

Jubiemon J: Yes! It was totally reasonable for him to criticize Kyoko. Kyoko needed someone harsh to tell her that she was being stagnant and somewhat arrogant for thinking that she could just stay the way she was and expect anyone to love her. Kyoko made this huge outburst (she often does b/c she’s not very good at communicating and hence bottles up her thoughts for too long until she can’t contain them) during the gokon. She was trying to clarify to the people at the table that she wasn’t in love with Ren. Ren was the one that caused her to be unable to be in normal relationships and that anyone that could accept her flaws would be good enough for a normal romance. Kojiro gave her more perspective by challenging what she said.

Changing her order to please her friend

Judging her weak behaviour…

Bursting out with some explanation about how anyone will do

Criticizing her

Kojiro points out that she’s a pushover. Though she wanted tequila, she ended up with the Chicago after her friend told her that she should order that. She also loves her job, yet she ended up agreeing with one of the guys at the table that she’d rather be a housewife, for the sake of being scared of voicing her opinion. However, Kojiro does end his speech with a “just kidding”, to make the atmosphere not so awkward. We all know that he’s being serious though. He finishes his speech by saying that he said all those things because that was what the book that she had said to do. (A self-help book that was supposed to help her improve her communication skills fell out of her purse during the dinner.) The book happens to be one that the publishing company that Kojiro works at published.

Overall, I think Kojiro is a good influence on Kyoko and I’m excited to see their relationship develop more.

Issue 2: Whether it was reasonable for Kojiro to avoid Kyoko at first

Jubiemon J: Definitely! After Kojiro scolded her at the gokon, she ended up confessing to him. She barely even knows the guy! Plus, she was asking him for his address while clinging onto him. That was pretty freaky.

Kyoko confessing that she wants to be like him who is able to order Oolong tea.

She wants to exchange emails.

She says no, I want your address. I like you. Please date me.

Kojiro running off – basic instincts. Fight or flight.

I’m glad that he didn’t immediately accept her because I think in the real world, you wouldn’t do that unless you’re really interested in just sleeping with her. He can sense that there’s something off about her, so it’d be best to run away and try not to see her again. I’m also glad that he didn’t accept her because that way it’d push Kyoko to try to improve herself so that he will not be scared of her. If he had, it’d be a repeat of Kyoko x Ren.

Issue 3: Whether Ren is pretty messed up

Jubiemon J: Ren is totally messed up. His traumatic childhood has led him to become a manipulative, insecure mastermind. We see in ep 2 that he was abused as a kid where his dad would threaten to stab him. Subsequently, he acts that out in real life when he’s “trying” to protect this female co-worker from this ex-lover of hers. He is happy when he sees people at their worst, whether it be in fear, upset, or frustration. Ren honestly preys on the weak and needs to have control over everything, from his work to his personal relationships.

The main reason for this need for control is, again, from his childhood. He didn’t have any control; like I said, in the manga, he was choked until he peed his own pants. It’s only when he has control does he feel secure; it’s sort of like how Kyoko needs that braided scarf to calm her down and ground her. Instead of a scarf to chain him, Ren needs to chain others/situations.

Kyoko: I never said that I’d go meet you tonight . . .

Ren: You never forgot about me right?

Kyoko: I’ve forgotten about you.

Ren: Then what’s that scarf? 

Moreover, his childhood has made him insecure, in the sense that he doesn’t believe that anyone will actually fully love and accept him. That’s likely why he made Kyoko do something so extreme like strip in front of a crowd or in the manga, sleep with his guy friend. He wants to test her boundaries, yet when she does agree to his request, he can’t stand that she is “tainted” and is also afraid that someone will completely accept him. If someone does wholeheartedly love him, then he’d likely fall for her. If that’s the case, then he’d lose control over the situation; his feelings won’t be in control. He can’t stand that.

He can’t take losing control and that’s also why he keeps stressing to Kyoko that she doesn’t need to change. She just needs to remain as is. It’s like that classic story of someone caging a golden bird, not allowing the bird to fly free. Thus, when Kyoko is looking to improve herself, Ren keeps putting her down and creating situations where Kyoko will “have to” rely on him. We’ve seen how he purposely put her to work with a challenging designer because he knows that Kyoko wouldn’t be able to take the designer’s constant backlash. She’d have to rely on him. She surprises him by succeeding and though he does praise her, he later creates a situation where Kyoko is vulnerable again.

Ren: People never change.

Kyoko crying . . .

Props to Mukai Osamu for taking on this challenging role as Ren. I didn’t think Mukai Osamu did great as George in the movie adaption of Paradise Kiss, but in this drama, wow . . . he really has outdone himself! I’m talking about his micro expressions and subtle actions that totally show Ren’s darker side. Watch his eyes and his sly smile when you watch this drama. You’ll totally get the creeps and Muaki Osamu is really like the Ren in the manga.

Look at that creepy stare.

King of sinister smiles

Scary look again

The real Ren in action

Disgusting friend . . . he’s terrible (even worse in the manga)

Friend’s comment about Ren’s nose job makes Ren super mad. (Friend said he should get a nose job himself to become as popular as Ren with the ladies. This also implies Ren’s nose was broken due to abuse.)

Seriously . . . a very evil, enraged stare. This is the real Ren, people.

Props to Yoshioka Riho for doing her best as Kyoko. Though she’s not 100% like the Kyoko in the manga, she still does a great job with portraying awkwardness. She has also been good at being someone with low self-confidence; you see her with her back always slouched and head down.

Conclusion: Appeal Allowed.

Rating: 5 = KYAH!! (I know this drama has dark/potentially disturbing content that’s not for the faint-hearted, but I think the way the cast has dealt with the characters and the way that the drama has tried to be true to the manga have been great. This drama just keeps you wondering what’s going to happen next and whether Kyoko will really escape Ren.)

File No: You-Always-Haunt-My-Heart-Eps-1-&-2 Appearing before The Dramacourt: You Always Haunt My Heart Eps 1 and 2 ***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read 

[sodakyotojpn]

NEW INTIMACIES / ニュー・インティマシー

exhibition statement　<English follows> 普段、アートの世界では、作家性という「個人」を軸とした、美術館での個展、モノグラフ、批評もしくは論考が展���されている。そこではアーティストと他者との関係性は、脚注に留まる。では、スタジオをシェアしている仲間の作品の無意識な相互影響、食事の時に会話したあるアイディア、一緒に訪れた特別な場所での共通の体験などは、いったいどう作品に記録されているのだろう。 この展覧会は、アーティスト、またはアートに深く関わるカップルを招待する。彼ら、彼女らは、必ずしも常にコラボーレーションをする間柄ではない。そこでは批判もあるだろうし、妥協もあるかもしれない。棲み分けのようなものもあるかも知れない。ある時、その関係は何かしら終わりを迎える可能性もなくはない。でもそこにある「親密さ」とは何か？ 現代の社会では、テクノロジーの進化や、インターネット、スマホの普及により、どこで今、何が起こっていて、何が話されているのか、私達はほとんど瞬時に知る事が出来るし、遠くの知人の極めてパーソナルな出来事をあたかも身近な事のように共有できる。人と人との関係は世界規模に拡大したけれど、やはりそこでは「親密さ」が通貨となっている。 感情の衝突や、日常性を通して育まれた「親密さ」、テクノロジカル・コミュニケーションを介した「親密さ」、相手の作品を理解しようと、通常の鑑賞者以上の努力や好奇心の果ての「親密さ」。このような「親密さ」を通過してアートという価値を共有している（かに思える）自らのパートナーにこの展覧会は焦点をあてる。そしてここでは、出来るならば、カップルとして共同の作業の中で作品を制作していただきたい。カップルは、小さな単位ではあるが、そこには、複雑な関係性が時間軸と感情の軸の中に存在している。その作品は、現代の超高度情報社会において、新たな「親密さ」として通常化するだろう。 文字通り「親密すぎる」関係であるカップルが、展覧会を通じて新鮮な価値を提示し、パブリックな場で交差させることで、ひとつの可能性を開くことができるのではないだろうか。「愛」と呼んだら大げさだが、私達は「New Intimacies/ニュー・インティマシー」を通じてそれを探求する。 ・ Institutions, exhibitions, publications, and art criticism – the various mechanisms of the art world - all revolve around the individual style of the singular artist. The relationships between the artist and his/her peers seems to remain in the background. Questions arise. How could we know if two artists sharing a studio influence each other? How could their ideas emerge out of discussions at the dinner table? Or how could their perceptions be shaped by the mutual experience of traveling together? This exhibition invites art couples. They are artists, gallerists, and curators. Many of the couples don’t collaborate regularly. Yes, they love each other, but they sometimes criticize each other too. In some occasions, they must compromise their wills for one another. They might even break up in the future. There’s so much complexity to a love relationship - what kind of particular “intimacy” could we locate between them? Today, we know what is happening, and what is being discussed around the world because of internet and smart phones. We can participate in the highly personal event of a friend who is far away as if it is happening right in front of our eyes. The relationships between people occur on a global scale, but “intimacy” is still a primal currency. The “intimacy” of two which is developed by spending everyday together. The “intimacy” of two as a result of emotional quarrel. The “intimacy” of communication behind the technological advancement. The “intimacy” of the struggle to understand your partner’s thought and art practice. This exhibition focuses on such exchanges between couples. The exhibition asks each couple to make artwork as a collaboration. A couple is a small unit, but its complexities exist in the history and emotional landscape of the relationship. Their artwork could claim a new standard in today’s highly speed information society. The couples will present unexpected values in this exhibition, and make them available toward the public. The possibilities of “new intimacies” are coming. It’s embarrassing to call this “love”, but this exhibition will discover it at last.

Couples: 青木 真莉子 + 渡辺 豊 Marico Aoki (artist) + Yutaka Watanabe (artist) 秋山 幸+ 池崎 拓也 Miyuki Akiyama (artist) + Takuya Ikezaki (artist) 今井 麗+ 西村 有 Ulala Imai (artist) + Yu Nishimura (artist) 今井 俊介+ ライボ Shunsuke Imai (artist) + Laibo (Black spiny-tailed iguana) 江口 悟+ マツザキ サトミ Satoru Eguchi (artist) + Satomi Matsuzaki (DEERHOOF) 片山 真妃+ 千葉 正也 Maki Katayama (artist) + Masaya Chiba (artist) 菅 かおる+ 田中 和人 Kaoru Kan (artsit) + Kazuhito Tanaka (artist) COBRA+ 八重樫 ゆい COBRA (artist) + Yui Yaegashi (artist) 竹崎 和征+ 竹崎 瑞季 Kazuyuki Takezaki (artist) + Mizuki Takezaki (curator) 増本 奈穂+ 増本 泰斗 Naho Masumoto (Hozonshoku Lab) + Yasuto Masumoto (artist) ローゼン ジェフリー+ ローゼン 美沙子 Jeffrey Rosen (gallerist) + Misako Rosen (gallerist)

1/12（sun）〜 2/1（sat）12:00 - 19:00 期間中の金、土、日、および祝日にオープン

Open on Fri, Sat, Sun and Holiday

＊opening reception 1/12（sun）18:00 - 20:00 soda 東京都豊島区駒込2-14-14 （@ kayokoyuki） 2-14-14 Komagome, Toshima-ku, Tokyo ＊sodaがkayokoyukiを借りて行います。

curation: kaoru kan + kazuhito tanaka organized by soda

[hikariobsessions]

Kenshin Uesugi - Hug Me Tight, Sweetheart Winter Story (Japanese Story Translation) <3

DISCLAIMER:

- As with most translations that I do, I take the liberty to rephrase sentences/add in words/use synonyms to try and communicate the same meaning behind each sentence and dialogue between the characters.

- These are more direct translations from the Japanese App, compared to what we see in the English App’s “Hug me tight, sweetheart” Event.

- I put in the actual Japanese writing in case people were wanting to check the validity of these translations themselves (if you do check, please use more than just Google Translate, otherwise I won’t be impressed).

- My own impressions of the story, without a doubt, influenced my translations and I was trying my best to get that “feeling” across without completely reinterpreting the material.

- Critical Feedback is always welcome; hateful feedback or just plain toxic comments will be ignored and I, most certainly, will block you without a second thought.

- All characters and original writing belong to Cybird. This is non-paid content but will be taken down if so requested. DO NOT take/repost/use this translation under any circumstances. Reblogging or linking is fine.

Hopefully, we can move on from all the drama and keep on loving these characters for who they are~ Thanks for taking the time to read this post and I hope you enjoy the story as it is translated below!

(Translation by @hikariobsessions )

二人の恋心『特別ストーリー』(A couple’s love [Special Story]) ***English counterpart “Hug me tight, sweetheart” Event***

上杉謙信 - 二人の恋心を温めて Uesugi Kenshin – Warm up your love together

~Story Begins~

雪が降りる冬の夜。It was a cold winter’s night. Snow was descending heavily outside.

MC:（とんでもないことになっちゃった……！） (This is bad……!)

私は謙信様にさらわれ、春日山城の部屋まで連れ込まれていた。Here I was in Kasugayama Castle, after having been unceremoniously carried off by Kenshin himself and brought into his room.

Kenshin:「そんな隅におらず火鉢のそばへ来い」 [Stop dawdling by the corner, and come closer to the brazier]

MC:「ええっと、それは…」 [Er, about that…]

Kenshin:「お前が『寒くて敵わない』と言うから、寒さをしのげる場所へ連れて来てやったのだろう」 [It was you who was saying how “unbearably cold” it was; and so, I brought you to a place where you can be protected from it.]

MC:（だからって、自分の城の部屋まで連れて来なくても……！）(Even so, you really didn’t need to bring me all the way to your palace chambers….!)

下手に身動きも取れず、部屋の入口で謙信様の様子をうかがう。Standing awkwardly near the entrance of the room, I snuck a glance towards Kenshin.

Kenshin:「何か文句でもあるのか」 [Do you have a problem?]

MC:「文句というか、疑問だらけというか……。とにかく、私はここで十分ですから…」[Whether it’s a problem I have or just doubts, probably isn’t the point…. In any case, I’m fine standing right here…]

とは言ったものの― Even as I say it though—

MC:（火鉢が遠いと、部屋の中にいても全然温まらない……）(The brazier is way too far at the back of the room. Even if I enter, I probably won’t feel its warmth….)

身を寄せる柱すら氷のように冷たくて、身体が小刻みに震えてしまう。My body leaned against the doorframe. It was cold to the touch and I shivered.

Kenshin:「やはり震えているな。―面倒な女」 [Look at you, your trembling. –What a troublesome woman.]

ため息をつき、謙信様が私のそばへと歩み寄る。Sighing, Kenshin walked towards me.

Kenshin:「俺が温めてやる。来い」 [I’ll warm you up. Follow me.]

MC:（え…） (Eh…)

低く透き通った声が耳元で響く。He said it in a low but clear voice, that resounded in my ears.

妖しく光る眼差しにとらわれ、体中が凍り付いたように動かない。Caught by his striking gaze, my body seemed to freeze on the spot.

MC:「あたためるって、いったい、どうやって……っ」[Warm me up? How exactly…?]

Kenshin:「それは…」[That’s, well…]

謙信様はおもむろに足を進めると、 外につながる部屋の襖を開け放った。Kenshin strode deliberately towards a door leading to the outside and slid it open.

Kenshin:「……集合だ、お前達」 [……Assemble, you lot]

MC:（え？）(What?)

謙信が呼びかけた途端、真っ白なウサギ達がたくさん部屋のなかへ跳ねてきた。As soon as Kenshin’s voice called out; one by one, snow-white rabbits began hopping into the room.

MC:「っ、ウサギ…！？なんでっ？」 [Ra-Rabbits!? Wait, why?]

Kenshin:「こやつらがおれば火鉢など必要ない」[Now that we have them, there’s no need for the brazier]

MC:（この子たち、謙信様のペット…？いったい何羽いるの！？） (Are these his pets…? Just how many are there!?)

Kenshin:「お前達、この者を温めてやれ」 (You lot, warm this person up)

MC:「え？ あ、ちょ……わっ！わぁ……」[What? Ah, wai…. Waa! Woah…]

私は驚く間もなくたくさんのウサギに埋もれ呆然と謙信様のを見上げた。Without a moment’s notice, the army of rabbits obediently surrounded me. I looked up at Kenshin in awe, from where I sat in the middle of the bunny pile.

MC:「謙信の命令が、わかるんですね、この子たち……。飼ってるんですか？」 [They…sure know how to follow your orders…… Are you keeping them as pets?]

Kenshin:「そうではない。勝手に棲みついたのだ。」 [Not at all. They decided to live here on their own accord.]

Kenshin:「気付けば、俺のあとをついて回るようになっていた」 [Before I knew it, they multiplied and began following me everywhere.]

MC:「そ、そうなんですか……」 [I- I see….]

MC:（ウサギ対してカリスマ性を発揮するなんて…） (To think that even against bunnies, his charisma would work its charm….)

驚きとウサギのおかげで、寒さがだんだん和らいでいく。Thanks to the bunnies and my surprise, the cold I felt was beginning to subside.

MC:（もこもこして、気持ちいい………。しかも、本当にあったかい） (They’re so fluffy, it feels so nice……. And it’s really warm)

寒さが遠のいた時、一羽の子ウサギがぴくりと耳をそばだてて、謙信様の元へ跳ねていった。As the cold began to recede, one of the baby rabbits’ ears perked up, and it hopped over to where Kenshin was standing.

Kenshin:「俺はいいから、あの者を温めよ」 [I’m fine, so just go and warm up that woman.]

けれど、子ウサギは謙信様の足元にくっついて離れようとしない。The bunny, however, refused to move from where it sat, cuddling next to Kenshin’s feet.

それにつられてか、他のうさぎたちも次々に謙信様の元へ跳ねていく。As if on cue, more bunnies began to hop over to join in on the action.

MC:（ふふ、謙信さまのこと、大好きなんだな） (Aww, they really love him)

MC:「その子たちは、謙信様のそばにいたいみたいですね」 [I think they want to be with you]

Kenshin:「…物好きなやつらだ」 […They’re a whimsy bunch.]

MC:「ウサギたちはとても幸せそうですね」 [They look really happy though]

（なんだかちょっと可愛いな……）(This is quite cute, actually….)

微笑ましげ光景に自然と笑みがこぼれていく。A smile gradually escaped my lips, as I watched the pleasant scene unfold.

すると、謙信様がこちらに目を向けた。It was then that Kenshin redirected his eyes towards me.

Kenshin:「お前は、もう良いのか？」[Are you okay now?]

MC:「はい、私はもう十分です」[Yes, I’m feeling fine now.]

MC:（まだ少し寒いけど、温めてもらったし…） (Although I am still feeling a little bit cold, he did help me warm up. I owe him that much….)

そう思うものの、だんだん寒気が戻ってくる。But, even as the thought crossed my mind, I could feel the soft chill sneaking its way back.

Kenshin:「強がらなくていい、来い」 [There’s no need to act strong. Come here.]

MC:「え…？」 [What…?]

謙信様は私すぐ後ろに座ると、背中からぎゅっと抱き締めた。Kenshin sat directly behind me and proceeded to wrap his arms tightly around my waist.

突然のこと驚いて、謙信様を振り返る。Surprised at the sudden gesture, I looked back at him.

MC:「あの、なにを…」 [Uh…What are you…]

MC:（あ…）(Oh…)

ひんやりとした指先で頬を撫でられ、触れられそこがほのかに熱を帯びた。Cool fingertips gently brushed my cheek, and my skin warmed up with a lingering heat where they touched.

息遣いがすぐそばまで迫って、顔中が真っ赤になっていくのがわかる。The closeness of his breath began to feel all too real, and I knew right then just how flushed I’d become.

Kenshin:「…急に大人しくなったな」 […You’ve suddenly gone quiet]

MC:「謙信様が、急に変なことをするからでしょう…っ？」 [Don’t you think it’s because you’re doing something very odd….?]

Kenshin:「変なこと、ではない。お前が凍えないようにしているだけだ」 [It’s not odd. I’m just keeping you from freezing.]

Kenshin:「まったく、青白くなったり赤くなったり、忙しい女だ」 [Honestly. You go from pale to flushed in a matter of seconds. You’re quite the busy woman.]

MC:「それは…」 [Well, that’s…]

MC:（あなたの、せいです） (That’s entirely your fault.)

声が掠れてしまいそうで、反論を呑みこんだ。I bit down my reply out of fear that my voice might break.

鼓動が静かに速度を上げて、このままじゃ謙信様に聞こえそうだ。My heartbeat was silently increasing its tempo. If this keeps up, Kenshin might be able to hear it.

Kenshin:「…お前が動かないなら、このままだ」 […If you’re not going to move, then we’re just going to stay like this.]

MC:（あ…） (Ah…)

囁きが耳をくすぐるのと同時に、腕の力を少しだけ強められた。As the whispered words tickled my ear, I could feel his strong arms tightening their grip.

Kenshin:「今宵は、お前を俺の腕に閉じ込めておく」 [Tonight, I’ll keep you locked in these arms]

ふっと口端を上げて、謙信様が告げる。The announcement that came from his lips was all too sudden to ignore.

MC:（わけが、わからないよ……っ） (I don’t understand this……)

MC:（でも……あったかい） (But somehow, it feels....warm)

回された腕は解けず、触れ合う背中と胸板が、くっついて離れない。His arms stayed wrapped around me, the touch unrelenting. I could feel my back gluing itself onto his hard chest.

MC:（どうしてこの腕を払えないんだろう…） (How come I can’t seem to push his arms away….)

MC:（それどころか…） (Instead, I….)

鳴り止まない鼓動が、まだ寄り添っていたいと叫んでいるみたいだ。The incessant ringing in my heart seemed to be screaming as if it wanted more; as if it wanted to be closer to him.

身動きもできないまま、私の胸の奥で、淡い熱がくすぶっていた―… A light ember simmered inside me, as I sat there unmoving, firmly yet comfortably wrapped in his embrace—

“This is for you lot. Take it as you see fit.” - With lots of intense-yet-problematic love from Kenshin

@rizosrojizos

@phantomchou  

@daeva-agas 

@himawarihime0998

@mischievouslymasamune

@lemonicebar et. al,

Thanks for commenting on my rant and being such awesome people! You all raise many valid points and I love just how dedicated you all are as fans of the characters. I hope you enjoy this translation~ Have a nice day and stay kind ^^ 

- Hikari <3

[homicidols]

All about Those BiSH Collabs

All about Those BiSH Collabs @aina_BiSH @MONDOGROSSO_JP @BiSHidol

It was reflexive, the way my teeth gritted this morning when I saw the tweet from BiSH: 【MONDO GROSSO新曲のボーカリストはアイナ・ジ・エンド！】TBS系火曜ドラマ「きみが心に棲みついた」挿入歌であるMONDO GROSSO新曲『偽りのシンパシー』ボーカリストとしてアイナ・ジ・エンドが参加。#mondogrosso #BiSH #アイナ・ジ・エンド #きみ棲み #偽りのシンパシー https://t.co/Fa0MIYfgC9 — BiSHオフィシャル (@BiSHidol) January 16, 2018 “Oh cool!” I thought at first. “Another Aina collaboration with somebody that I’ve heard…

[tadanoichiro]

シツゲンミジンコ 　主張しなくていいことを主張してしまうケンミジンコ。心の中に棲みつくタイプのいきもので、寄生された個体は感情を隠すことができなくなる。セイジカ、ラグアイドール、セレブレッドなどのいきものがよく寄生されていると思われがちだが、それは、これらのいきものが生態系において広く知られているからそのように見えるだけである。実際は、ほとんどのいきものが気付かないうちに宿主になっており、周囲を怒らせ続けている。 　逆鱗というのは、爬虫類のみならず、全てのいきものに存在しているものである。誰しも心の中に、触れられたくない部分、指摘されたくないこと、認めたくない主張を持っている。それらを形作っているのは、自分が好きなもの、信じていること、基準にしている何かであり、つまり、逆鱗の位置とは個体のあり方そのものであると言える。だからこそ、逆鱗に触れられたいきものは激怒し、そして、他の個体にも逆鱗が存在していることを常に意識して、触れようとはしないのである。シツゲンミジンコの宿主を除いては。 　このいきものに寄生された個体は、著しく想像力を失う。周囲のいきものが何に対して怒りを覚えるのか、何を大切にしているのか、何を考えているのか、全く思い描かない。そもそも目の前にいるのが意思をもった存在であるとも考えない。むしろ何も考えていない。自分が感じたことを、そのまま吐き出してしまう。その主張は特定の個体のみならず、生態系の属するいきもの全てを敵に回すほどに不愉快なものであるが、シツゲンミジンコの宿主にはその自覚が全くない。自覚がないからこそ、何度でも繰り返すのである。 　このいきものによる主張は、多くのいきものの機嫌を損ね、数々の争いを引き起こし、時には宿主を生態系ピラミッドの底辺へと突き落とすことすらある。それは確かである。しかし、なぜそれほどまでの事態を引き起こすのか。それは、その主張が真実だからである。誰もが感じているがなかなか表に出せないことを、シツゲンミジンコは吐き出させてしまう。それらは確かに多くのいきものを激怒させるが、その怒りは指摘の正しさの証明に他ならない。要するに、図星を指されて悔しいだけなのである。 　認められない事実とは、認めなければならない事実のことであり、見たくないものとは見なければならないものに等しい。多くのいきものは、その事実すら認められない。

Tongue Cyslips 　Tongue Cyslips is cyclops that claim what does not have to claim. They are CREATURES living in the minds, and individuals that were parasitized by them become to not to be able to hide their emotions. CREATURES such as Politideers, Ragidolls, Celebreds are often thought to be parasitized by them, but because these CREATURES are widely known in ecosystems, it seems like that. In fact, most CREATURES have become Tongue Cyslips's hosts without noticing it, and keep the surroundings angry. 　The trigger of wrath is what exist in all CREATURES. Everybody has a part that they do not want to be touched, what they do not want to be pointed out, and the claim that they do not want to admit, in their heart. What is shaping it is the things that they like, what they believe, and something that they are basing upon, that is, the position of the trigger of wrath is the living way of the individuals itself. That is why, the CREATURES that were touched their trigger of wrath are furious, and they are always conscious of the existence of the trigger of wrath in other individuals and will not touch it. Except for Tongue Cyslips's hosts 　Individuals parasitized by this CREATURE lose considerable imagination. They never imagine what surrounding CREATURES are angry with, what they are caring about, and what they are thinking. In the first place, they do not also think that ones in front of them are the exist having the will. Rather they are thinking nothing. They spit what they felt, as it is. That assertion is unpleasant so that it makes them to enemies of not only for a specific individual but also for all the creatures that are belonging the ecosystem, but the Tongue Cyslips's hosts do not have that consciousness at all. They repeat it as many times as they do not have consciousness of it. 　The claim by this CREATURE hurt the feelings of many CREATURES, cause a lot of conflicts, sometimes even push down their host to the bottom of the ecological pyramid. That is certain. However, why does they cause such situation so much? That is because that assertion is true. Tongue Cyslips make their host to spit out what everyone feels but that it is hard to put out on the outside. These certainly make a lot of CREATURES furious, but their anger is nothing but proof of the correctness of pointing out. In short, they merely feel bitter because they were hit the mark. 　The fact that is not wanted to accept is the fact that must be accepted, and what is not wanted to see is what must be seen. Many CREATURES can not admit even that fact.

[nemosynth]

ensoniq VFX-SD II Kurzweil PC361 Dave Smith Instruments - Sequential PRO2 Dave Smith Instruments - Sequential evolver Keyboard Roland V-Synth 1.51 / 2.00 hybrid Roland JD-XA Recorded and mixed on Logic Pro X 　　♬　♬　♬

There are times that you can't understand the others.  Yet still, we can coexist, at least, and eventually co-live, even go further beyond. 

軋みゆく世界、そのただ中から言う 「多様性こそは、人の悲劇と可能性である」 と。

"Diversity is People's Both Tragedy and Possibility" Fatboy Slim - "Right Here, Right Now" Ominous Cloud Cover

From Buemon the Fifth aka NemoSynth

　　♪　♪　♪

Had this cover arrangement idea back in May 2018, but was busy and couldn't start recording it until the end of June. 

Right before I started recording, this casual thought came up to me to search through the net to confirm if anybody else already had come up with similar ideas, ending up me being stumbled upon this beautifully made acoustic piano sound cover version: 

Fatboy Slim - "Right Here, Right Now" acoustic piano sound cover

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YW2_6dfvxgc

Being struck and fascinated with this one, and also quite by the accident this cover version had pretty close key as mine, I decided to show my salute to this person's work, and expanded my arrangement as an homage and respect, while still maintaining my own original idea and the key. 

BTW, sorry for my sloppy work, bad playing technique, no quantizing, and no mastering ;)

I tend to put more weight on seizing the ideas to make it real rather than take time for completion and losing the initial vibe. 

This whole idea came to me while me being surrounded by this diffuse and elusive concern all the time about the entire world squeaking in pain, about all these conflicts and collisions of various beliefs, thoughts, ways of life, powers, hemispheres, destructions to our natural and historical heritages, and so on. 

When I was a little kid, I spent part of my childhood in another country, another nation, completely different from my own, as a minority. The cultural shock, and all the experiences in the vast majestic mother nature made tremendous impact to my life, and they still keep inspiring me greatly, stirring my mind, driving me endlessly to spin out something that even I myself can't understand. 

Justice is different from nation to nation. It is imprinted to us through our education as part of our framework in our mind. To understand the others we must choose a hard way to break our frameworks that we take it for granted, imprinted through our education, and reach out to the others, which is a tough job but it can be done, at least to some extent. 

The outside world is a lot more diverse than we can possibly imagine. 

Even if we can't understand the each other ultimately, we can still co-exist, and eventually co-live, even cooperate in some occasions. We do conflict against each other but encountering with others will provide ideas different and unthinkable from our own. Therefore, we essentially need others, in order for all of us to live. 

We are all symbiotic beings on this our only one planetary home. 

Hence this title; Diversity is people's both tragedy and possibility. 

Yes, what we know about ourselves, about the nature, about this world we live in, about the universe, is still so little, and we are only allowed to live on this our only one planetary home. 

Yet still, we all are the means of the universe to know itself. 

Thanks so much for reading this lengthy post.

Well, it seems like I have to brush up my English pronunciation again ;) 

このカヴァー案、アレンジ案は、2018 年の５月ごろには、もう出来上がっていたのだが、忙しくてなかなかレコーディングできず。

で、６月下旬になって、いざ形にすべく録音に着手しようと思った矢先、ふと思いつきで「他に私と似たよーなことやったはる人おらんやろぉなー」って軽ーく検索してみて驚き、なんとも美しいアレンジを、しかもアコピの音色いっぱつだけでやっている人がいた。

この人：

Fatboy Slim - "Right Here, Right Now" アコースティックピアノ音色によるカヴァー版

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YW2_6dfvxgc

あまりの美しさに心打たれ、しかも偶然にも私が考えてたアレンジと似たキーでやっていることにうれしくなり、この人へのリスペクト、オマージュを、ちょっと自分の作品に加えてみた。

まぁ、いつもどおり、しょせん日曜シンセシストなので、テンポよれよれ指もつれまくりクォンタイズもマスタリングもしてません、ごめんなさい ^^;;

完成度を追求するよりアイディアが熱いうちに形にしたいので、スケッチブック状態な Vimeo / YouTube です。

そもそもこのカヴァーをしようと思ったのは、軋みゆく今の世界を案じていたから。

さまざまな信仰、思想、生き方、力、圏、などなど、それらがあいいれることなく衝突し、火花を散らす。そして自然や歴史が破壊されていく。その現実を前に、漠とした憂鬱な気持ちでいるうちに、なんとなく降ってきた。

私は幼いころ、まったく異なる国、異なるひとびとの中で暮らし、マイノリティとして生きた。カルチャーショックはもちろん、故郷では想像もつかない壮大で荘厳な大自然での経験の数々、それらはとてつもないインパクトを、まだ幼い私に与え、その衝撃波で今なお私はこころかき乱され、なにか自分でもよく分からないものを、なんだかつむぎだし続けている。

正義は国によって違う。それは教育によって刷り込まれる。教育によって刷り込まれた枠組みを、あたりまえと思っていた存在基盤を、あえて、ちからをこめてぶち破り、他者へ手をさしのべて、理解する、それはおそろしく、たいへんなことなんだけど、少なくともある程度までなら、誰にでもできる。それだけでもいい。

外の世界は、想像をはるかに超えた、多様性に満ち満ちているのだ。

せめてそれさえ分かれば、それでいい。

たとえ究極的には相互理解できなくとも、他者を理解できなくとも、他者との共存はできる。そして共存から共生へ、ついにはおりにふれて手をたずさえてちからをあわせることも、できる。

時に他者とは衝突もするが、他者と遭遇することは、自分たちだけでは思いもつかなかった考えや思考を得られることでもあり、そこから自分の限界を打破することもで���る。

だから、ひとは本質的に他者を必要としているのだ。

わたしたちは、この唯一の惑星を家とする、共生体なのだ。

というわけで、このタイトルをつけてみました「多様性こそは、人の悲劇と可能性である」

そう、私たちが私たち自身について知っていることは、私たちが住んでいるこの世界について知っていることは、この大自然や宇宙について知っていることは、まだまだほんの少しでしかない。そして、わたしたちは、この唯一の惑星に棲むことを、ゆるされているだけに過ぎない。

それでも、わたしたちは、この宇宙が宇宙自身を知るためにつくられし手段である。

ここまで長たらしい文章を、最後までお読みいただき、ほんとうに、ありがとうございます。ほんに、おおきに。

ああ、英語の発音、へたくそになったなぁ 笑

Buemon the Fifth aka NemoSynth

――

[tadanoichiro]

セッキョウシタガリネズミ 　いきものとしてどうあるべきかを主張したがるトウキョウトガリネズミ。遙か昔から世界中に生息していたが、カミナリグモの網という姿を隠せる環境が現れて以降、非常に目につきやすくなった。鋭い嗅覚を持ち、少しでも弱みを匂わせたいきものがいれば、どこからでもすぐに駆けつける。また、小さな身体にふさわしい小さな心の中に、巨大なセイギカンガルーを棲み着かせているが、その自覚は全くない。 　いきものは、失敗を繰り返しながら成長する。最初から何でもできるいきものなどいないし、どれだけ長く生きても完璧にはなれない。親からのしつけ、コロニーの仲間による世話、周囲との競争など、他のいきものから様々な干渉を受けることで、ようやく一匹のいきものとして生きていけるようになるのである。このように、しつけとは、ある程度経験を重ねたいきものが、別のいきものの成長に貢献するためになされるものであり、不快ではあっても決して攻撃ではない。しかし、セッキョウシタガリネズミにとっては全く違う。それは、攻撃のための牙であり、優越感を得るための足場であり、小さな自分を隠すための巣なのである。 　このいきものは、弱そうないきものを見かけると、とにかく攻撃を加えたがる。頼まれておらず、事情をよく知らず、それどころか全くの無関係なのに、急に近づいてきて自己主張を始めるのである。その手段は、一見するとしつけや世話に見えるものであるが、その行為には経験や思考が伴っていない。とにかく自分が相手よりも高い場所にいると錯覚するために、そしてストレスを解消するために攻撃を行うのである。 　通常、成長したいきものは安易なしつけを行わない。それは、自分が本当にしつけを行うに値するいきものなのか、ふさわしい立場にあるかということを考えているからであり、つまり、こういった思考を行えることができるようになることこそが、成長の証の一つなのである。失敗や愚行を目にしても、すぐには攻撃せず、その背後にある事情を考え、目に見えない部分まで想像する。その上で、よりよく生きられるであろう道筋を示すのである。 　とはいえ、セッキョウシタガリネズミには、このような行為は決してできない。自らの愚かさをわざわざさらけ出し、結果、攻撃を受けることになる。無論、攻撃を行うのは、別のセッキョウシタガリネズミである。

Lesson Shrew 　Lesson Shrew is least shrews that want to insist on what to do as a CREATURE. They lived in around the world from long ago, but it became very easy to see, after the environment that it can hide the figure called the Cyber Spider Web appeared. They have an acute sense of smell, and if there are CREATURES that have given out an odor of weakness even just a little, they can quickly rush to there from anywhere. Also, they have settled huge Right Kangaroos in a small heart that fit for a small body, but there is no awareness of it in them at all. 　CREATURES grow while repeating failure. There are no CREATURES that can do anything from the beginning, and no matter how long it lives, it can not become perfect. By receiving various interference from other CREATURES, such as training from parents, caring from colony members, competition with the surroundings, it will finally become possible to live as one CREATURE. In this way, training means that CREATURES that have gathered some degree of experience carry out for contributing to the growth of other CREATURES, and is never an attack even if it is uncomfortable. However, for Lesson Shrews it is totally different. It is a fang for attack, a foothold for getting a sense of superiority, a nest to conceal a small themselves. 　When this CREATURE sees a weak creature, they want to attack it in anyway. Even if they are not asked, even if they do not know the circumstances well, even if they are completely unrelated, they come close to it suddenly and start self-assertion. The means seems to be training or care at first glance, but that act does not involve experience or thought. They do attacks in order to misunderstand themselves as being higher position than the opponent anyway and to relieve stress. 　Usually, grown CREATURES do not training easily. That is because they are considering whether they are indeed worthy of making training, and whether they are in a suitable position for it. That is, being able to do such thinking is one of them of proof of growth. Even if they see failure or folly, they will not immediately attack, think about the circumstances behind those, and imagine the invisible part. Moreover, they show the way that will be able to be better lived. 　However, Lesson Shrews can never be done such behaviors. They bother to expose their own stupidity and, as a result, they are attacked. Of course, what attack them is another Lesson Shrew.

[tadanoichiro]

アマエビ 　周囲のいきものに対して過剰な期待を寄せるエビ。心の中に棲みつき、誰かの優しさや好意を食べて生きている。一部の地域に固有の種であるとも、全てのいきものが寄生されているとも言われるが、真相は定かではない。一説によると、生まれたばかりのいきものが、自分は母親と違う存在であるという事実を自覚し、再び母親と一つになりたいと願うことによって、このいきものが生まれるという。 　多くのいきものは、何もかもを自分の思い通りにしたいと願っており、他のいきものに対して、自分が期待したような行動を取ってほしいと望んでいる。これらは、程度の差こそあれ、誰しも持っている普通の願望である。しかし、自分の力ではなく、誰かの施しに頼って達成しようとするのは、単なる依存であり期待のし過ぎであると言える。このような、周囲に求めるものが多いいきものは、大きなアマエビに寄生されている可能性が高い。それらの宿主は、誰に対しても度を超した愛情と信頼を示し、その見返りとしてもっと大きなものを要求する。非常に傲慢で、浅ましい態度を取るのである。 　一般に、幼いいきものほどアマエビの影響を受けやすいと言われている。アマエビの宿主は周囲に対して様々な要求をするが、この頼みはしばしば理不尽であり、両者の損得が釣り合っていない。十分な能力を有しているにもかかわらず、問題の解決を他のいきものに押し付ける。自分でできることを誰かに任せ、嫌なことからは守ってもらい、その待遇を当然のものとして受け入れている。そして、期待を裏切られ、要求を断られると機嫌を悪くして怒りだすのである。多くのいきものは、成長するに従ってアマエビの支配から脱するが、中には、いつまで経っても宿主のままで、子供のような態度を取り続ける個体も存在する。 　アマエビの宿主は、その傲慢さから、多くのいきものから嫌われており、攻撃されて当然だと思われている。つまり、宿主ではないかという疑いをかけることは、対象への攻撃として作用するのである。この手法は非常に汎用性が高く、ユウウツボ、カロウシノシタ、イキイソギンチャクなどの、本来哀れまれるべきいきものでさえも追いつめることができる。このため、ロウガイビルやシャチクイなど、様々ないきものたちが好んで用い、ストレスを解消して楽しんでいる。 　確かに、周囲の助けを待ち望んでいるようでは、厳しい自然界を生き延びることは叶わない。アマエビによる支配からは一刻も早く脱するべきである。そのためには、誰にも何にも期待しないことである。親を頼ってはいけないし、番いの相手に何も求めてはいけないし、子供が自分を慕ってくれると思ってもいけない。そして何より、一人で生きていこうなどと、自分の力に期待してもいけない。

Dependenshrimp 　Dependenshrimp is shrimps that are placing high expectations on surrounding CREATURES. They live in the minds, and live by eating someone's kindness or favor. It is said both that they are species inherent in some areas and that all CREATURES are parasitized by them, but the truth is not certain. According to one theory, it is said that this CREATURE is born by what a newborn CREATURES aware the fact that they are different from mothers and hope to become one again with their mothers. 　Many CREATURES wish to have their own way in everything, and want other CREATURES to take behaviors that they expect. In greater or lesser degrees, these are ordinary wishes that everyone has. However, what trying to accomplish by relying on someone's almsgiving instead of their own power is merely dependence and can be said that they expect too much things. There is a high possibility that such CREATURES that desire many things to the surroundings are parasitized by large Dependenshrimp. Those hosts show fulsome love and trust to everyone, and in return they demand a greater one. They are very arrogant and take a contemptible attitude. 　In general, it is said that young CREATURES are more susceptible to Dependenshrimp influences. Dependenshrimp hosts make various requests to the surroundings, but this request is often irrational, and loss and gain of both are not balanced. Despite having adequate capacity, they press the solution of the problem to other CREATURES. They force what they can do to someone, have someone protecte from disgusting things, and accept that treatment as a matter of course. And when they are betrayed their expectation, and are refused the request, they get angry with a bad mood. Many CREATURES get out of control of Dependenshrimp, as they grow. However, some of them remain as the hosts even after a long time, and continue to tkake an attitudes like children. 　Dependenshrimp hosts are hated by many CREATURES because of their arrogance, and are thought that it is natural that they are attacked. Namely, what making a suspicion that it is a host acts as an attack on the target. This method is extremely versatile, and it is possible to pounce upon even the CREATURE that should be sympathized rightfully, such as Moray Choleels, Overwork Deasoles, and Seacide Anemones. For this reason, various CREATURES such as Gerontocland Planarias and Wage-slavers use it by preference, and enjoy by relaxing stress. 　Certainly, those waiting for help from the surroundings will not come to survive the tough nature world. It should escape from the control of Dependenshrimp as soon as possible. For that, is not to expect to anyone and anything. Do not depend on parents, do not desire partner to anything, and do not think that children will appreciate oneself. And above anything, do not expect oneself to live alone.