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#💄FRANCINE SMITH💄
bitofthisandthat · 1 year
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For Francine Smith:
*You see a strange CIA weapon that Stan brought over to the house. You were curious enough to find out about what it was.
You found Stan’s weapon and saw the name of it, “Chaotic Sramble.” This odd device appeared to be normal, by the looks of it.
You then decide to imitate Stan by holding the weapon like he would. However, it started malfunctioning and she was affected by the zap.
You look a little confused for a moment, and then you realize what had happened. Not only does Stan’s weapon scramble random objects, but it can affect humans as well.
You had your arms and legs swapped!
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"Hmm...Another comic con weirdo breached the perimeter again..."
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"Honey, I don't know if anyone told you this...but that's not how we do things around here. Go back to your bong rip, sweetie. Ride it out."
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"And don't come back, m'kay?"
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bitofthisandthat · 7 months
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"My house is gonna WOW the H.O.A into a drooling mess of amazement and possible light sickness this year!"
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"Because if you're not pissing off that uppity bitch at the end of your block that never waves back when you drive by, are you REALLY doing the Holidays right? Merry Fucking Christmas, Tabita."
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bitofthisandthat · 2 years
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bitofthisandthat · 4 years
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@candiallure​ ❀’d for the most HONEST woman alive to come at them
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She’s holding her posture ( and tongue ) as still as she can while she watches Swess redo their lipstick. Blue eyes are as wide as a doe, only fluctuating slightly when she sees what brand of prestige it is. Silence. And then----
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“I don’t care that you’re a skanky stripper, just so you know. I used to be a groupie before I met Stan, and that’s basically the same thing, except I didn’t get paid for being a hoe. So that just made me a slut. Except...that one time Whitesnake bought me a floor length fur coat on my way out of the suite that some hooker was sleeping on. Wait. That’s not right. Whitesnake. Ha! Like I’d take any second hand flesh rod from Tawny Kitaen. It was Mötley CrĂŒuuuuue. And it was before Vince Neil got the body of a sea-mammal.”
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bitofthisandthat · 4 years
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SOURCES OF LIGHT
TAGGED: Stoled it TAGGING: @goddessofbirth​ ; @kissofthemuses​ ; @heedingcalls ; @hoopsheartthrob​ @priimalurges ; @gamblealife​ ; @pick-your-poison-please​  Steal it tooooo.
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GABBY.
SUN RAYS. effervescent smiles, dandelion puffs, bare feet, beach waves, flowers pressed into books, champagne glasses, rose-gold eye shadow, boho skirts, wire-rimmed glasses, hair in loose waves, kaleidoscope eyes, sunshine in your hair, fire in your soul.
INCANDESCENT BULBS. crop tops, floral print, dancing in the rain, quiet defiance, hand-knit beanies, rosé, painted bookmarks, marble floors, cirrus clouds against a blue sky, polaroid pictures, hands held, fingers intertwined, flower crowns, baby bluebirds.
STARDUST. lace bralettes, brisk breezes, jasmine-scented perfume, books with yellowed pages, tracking constellations, sterling silver, violin music, chess games, iced coffee, glittery dresses, high heels, secret grins, midnight meetings, wishing upon a star.
CANDLE FLAMES. denim jackets, gladiator sandals, braided hair, messenger bags, movies at the cinema, stolen kisses, wax-sealed envelopes, haiku poetry, cherry wood, succulents, fountain pens, jigsaw puzzles, soft tired eyes, hidden smiles, cuddling with someone you trust.
MOONBEAMS. newspapers, over-sized sweaters, dancing shadows, fleece throws, cutoff shorts, piano chords, red wine, messy buns, embossed journals, a hint of blush dusted across your cheeks, freshly fallen snow, tranquil solitude, burning incense, light hair and dark skin.
AURORAS. combat boots, burgundy lips, infectious laughter, spiral-bound notebooks, pencils used down to the stub, ripped jeans, painted nails, cloud-watching, summer thunderstorms, hiking trails, vinyl records, film cameras, skating on a frozen lake, hot chocolate by the fire.
FIREWORKS. dancing until the break of dawn, heelys, being wheeled around in a shopping cart by your best friend, the euphoria of soaring through the air, being excited for what the future holds, group hugs, colorful tattoos, bronzer-highlighted cheeks, hugging a stuffed animal, lifting a child onto your shoulders, space buns, bright streaks in your hair.
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LILY.
SUN RAYS. effervescent smiles, dandelion puffs, bare feet, beach waves, flowers pressed into books, champagne glasses, rose-gold eye shadow, boho skirts, wire-rimmed glasses, hair in loose waves, kaleidoscope eyes, sunshine in your hair, fire in your soul.
INCANDESCENT BULBS. crop tops, floral print, dancing in the rain, quiet defiance, hand-knit beanies, rosé, painted bookmarks, marble floors, cirrus clouds against a blue sky, polaroid pictures, hands held, fingers intertwined, flower crowns, baby bluebirds.
STARDUST. lace bralettes, brisk breezes, jasmine-scented perfume, books with yellowed pages, tracking constellations, sterling silver, violin music, chess games, iced coffee, glittery dresses, high heels, secret grins, midnight meetings, wishing upon a star.
CANDLE FLAMES. denim jackets, gladiator sandals, braided hair, messenger bags, movies at the cinema, stolen kisses, wax-sealed envelopes, haiku poetry, cherry wood, succulents, fountain pens, jigsaw puzzles, soft tired eyes, hidden smiles, cuddling with someone you trust.
MOONBEAMS. newspapers, over-sized sweaters, dancing shadows, fleece throws, cutoff shorts, piano chords, red wine, messy buns, embossed journals, a hint of blush dusted across your cheeks, freshly fallen snow, tranquil solitude, burning incense, light hair and dark skin.
AURORAS. combat boots, burgundy lips, infectious laughter, spiral-bound notebooks, pencils used down to the stub, ripped jeans, painted nails, cloud-watching, summer thunderstorms, hiking trails, vinyl records, film cameras, skating on a frozen lake, hot chocolate by the fire.
FIREWORKS. dancing until the break of dawn, heelys, being wheeled around in a shopping cart by your best friend, the euphoria of soaring through the air, being excited for what the future holds, group hugs, colorful tattoos, bronzer-highlighted cheeks, hugging a stuffed animal, lifting a child onto your shoulders, space buns, bright streaks in your hair.
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FRANCINE.
SUN RAYS. effervescent smiles, dandelion puffs, bare feet, beach waves, flowers pressed into books, champagne glasses, rose-gold eye shadow, boho skirts, wire-rimmed glasses, hair in loose waves, kaleidoscope eyes, sunshine in your hair, fire in your soul.
INCANDESCENT BULBS. crop tops, floral print, dancing in the rain, quiet defiance, hand-knit beanies, rosé, painted bookmarks, marble floors, cirrus clouds against a blue sky, polaroid pictures, hands held, fingers intertwined, flower crowns, baby bluebirds.
STARDUST. lace bralettes, brisk breezes, jasmine-scented perfume, books with yellowed pages, tracking constellations, sterling silver, violin music, chess games, iced coffee, glittery dresses, high heels, secret grins, midnight meetings, wishing upon a star.
CANDLE FLAMES. denim jackets, gladiator sandals, braided hair, messenger bags, movies at the cinema, stolen kisses, wax-sealed envelopes, haiku poetry, cherry wood, succulents, fountain pens, jigsaw puzzles, soft tired eyes, hidden smiles, cuddling with someone you trust.
MOONBEAMS. newspapers, over-sized sweaters, dancing shadows, fleece throws, cutoff shorts, piano chords, red wine, messy buns, embossed journals, a hint of blush dusted across your cheeks, freshly fallen snow, tranquil solitude, burning incense, light hair and dark skin.
AURORAS. combat boots, burgundy lips, infectious laughter, spiral-bound notebooks, pencils used down to the stub, ripped jeans, painted nails, cloud-watching, summer thunderstorms, hiking trails, vinyl records, film cameras, skating on a frozen lake, hot chocolate by the fire.
FIREWORKS. dancing until the break of dawn, heelys, being wheeled around in a shopping cart by your best friend, the euphoria of soaring through the air, being excited for what the future holds, group hugs, colorful tattoos, bronzer-highlighted cheeks, hugging a stuffed animal, lifting a child onto your shoulders, space buns, bright streaks in your hair.
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bitofthisandthat · 4 years
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Can I just say how much I love Francine Smith she is so great. I feel like the best examples of Francine and Stan relationship is where neither of them are the focus of a episode and there just roasting bitch's.
{  Francine is WIFE. I love her so friggin’ MUCH it hurts, I wanna squish her dumb face and mush it!!! MUSH. IT. đŸ„°đŸ„°đŸ„°And I love Stancine soooo much; to be honest, they’re one the best examples of a functional, “I married my best friend that I also wanna hump forever” marriage out there?? Yeah they’re not a conventional fam, but critics fail to see how in sync and ride-or-die they are for each other. I could gush about them all day, but I won’t~~ But I could. And I agree; the subtle moments between them are the best, that’s where you see Seth and Wendy are so into their characters now after playing them for so long, that they can just be natural and low and their small banter is perfection. And, that’s how real bonds are too. So yeah, obviously, I stan STANCINE. Honestly?? If I had a Stan Smith to rp with, we’d drive the dash nuts with their dumbassery & ship nonsense ya’ll would get sick of me if you’re not already LOL  }
@carlem4487
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bitofthisandthat · 5 years
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@pick-your-poison-please [ PAM ]
After the latest mission sending Stan off the grid WHILE his wife was in the car, Francine’s witness meant she had to be ‘shuffled’ to another depot until Bullock cleared her. She was transported to an office she hadn’t seen. Yet. Honestly, some of these places were starting to look the same. At least it wasn’t that creepy Men in Black station under the Denver Airport again, yuuuuuch. This place was a real fancy, private operation. But Francine hated being far from Langly for too long, and most of all her kids.
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“But Stan I don’t wanna wait here for you, these people are all stiffs with zero personality and look like the B team from White Collar...” She put her hand over the receiver when she saw a passing agent give her a dirty look. “Not you sweetie, you make grey tweed ALMOST look cool.” She put herself back on her cell again, resuming her impatient rant. “I don’t care! You get here right now and pick me up, I have to get a jumbo box of wine and those crappy quinoa crackers from Trader Joe’s for Rog--uh. Your cousin from Cincinnati that used to sell chilli...yeah. Anyway! Get here!” She hung up and glanced over at the seating area and then the coffee station.  “Guess I’m sitting here now. Hey, I’m gonna smoke, is that a problem? Because I’m gonna do it.” She fished through her purse and sat next to the closest desk, not paying attention to how she was not in the proper area. “Man, I have had a WEEK.”
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bitofthisandthat · 5 years
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D R.  E L E A N O R   S A N C H E Z    +   F R A N C I N E   S M I T H
  “ It’s crazy-pants around here!!! Our families should get together--POOL PARTY! ”
Send ‘Happy Holidays! ⛄’ to my inbox and I’ll give you a treat! [ FOR @defactomatriarch ]
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bitofthisandthat · 5 years
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defactomatriarch said: I like lying here on the couch. It’s the puppy dog in me. -- for Francine c:
Out to Sea meme!
“I like lying on the cold bathroom floor after a long day of ‘gettin’ into it’ and eating some of Jeff’s edibles. It’s the boa constrictor in me!”
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“Wait. Are we not doing a thing? I thought we were doing a thing.”
@defactomatriarch​
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bitofthisandthat · 4 years
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@gamblealife said: “I am beyoncĂ© always.” ( Linda @ Franny bc WHY WOULDN’T SHE? :‘3 )
I have cause. It is beCAUSE I hate him
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“My turn, my turn! I’m going to be.........uh...uh...uh...”
DIALTONE.
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“Oh crap! Please say I’m not that skank Aria.na Gra.nde! ...Though I have worn a hooker dress to a funeral before. But MY ponytail was real back then, and not a weave made from a Yak’s ass-fur. Oh! Let me be Lady Gag.a! She’s getting older, eh? Ehhh? I could pull off bedazzled armor and meat panties, I know I could! If you get me drunk enough, I’ll wear anything! Roger got me to put on a Mexican wrestling uniform and mask and then sent me out into the Pride Parade to see if I could get free jello-shots from a man dressed like a cat in a bikini..............Didn’t BeyoncĂ© do the half time show a few years back?”
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bitofthisandthat · 5 years
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@unsacrificedsafety
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“OH THANK GOD. Because I was going crazy keeping my mouth shut, I almost bit my tongue in half trying to keep quiet! Again.
Eleanor---- you HAVE to come over and spill the BITCHITUDE with me some time. Couple bottles of Pinot, and of course your unfailing silence if you see anything unusual exit our attic or scoot across the floor in a candy dish.”
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bitofthisandthat · 4 years
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Types of People - Flowers
Repost don’t Reblog Bold what applies to your muse. Italicize conditional things.
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Francine Smith!
> Daisy: Wears their heart on their sleeve. Soft voice. Minimalistic clothing. Laying in a field of tall grass. Walking barefoot. Puts other people’s happiness above their own.
> Bellflower: Very consistent friend. Happy face with sad eyes. Careful touches. Hiding a blush. Light giggles. Makes friends easily. Knows how to make you smile.
> Protea: Proud. Big gestures. African heritage. Blushes easily. Tries to look tough but is really just a big softie. Content where they are. Doesn’t love easily, but always deeply.
> Moonflower: Knowing smiles. Doesn’t open up easily. Late night. Tired eyes. Soft skin. Not as innocent as they seem. Loose clothing.
> Bleeding Heart: Hopeless romantic. Still laughs at dirty jokes. Believes they can change the world. Caring looks. Dyed hair. Kisses on the cheek.
> Sunflower: Big smiles. Always looking for the positive. Lots of friends. Warm afternoons. Basking in the sun. Stares off into space a lot. Sitting in comfortable silence.
> Dandelion: Wishing for the impossible. Shooting stars. Light breezes through their hair. White clothing. Whispered secrets. Far off looks. Kind eyes.
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Lily Bovine!
> Daisy: Wears their heart on their sleeve. Soft voice. Minimalistic clothing. Laying in a field of tall grass. Walking barefoot. Puts other people’s happiness above their own.
> Bellflower: Very consistent friend. Happy face with sad eyes. Careful touches. Hiding a blush. Light giggles. Makes friends easily. Knows how to make you smile.
> Protea: Proud. Big gestures. African heritage. Blushes easily. Tries to look tough but is really just a big softie. Content where they are. Doesn’t love easily, but always deeply.
> Moonflower: Knowing smiles. Doesn’t open up easily. Late night. Tired eyes. Soft skin. Not as innocent as they seem. Loose clothing.
> Bleeding Heart: Hopeless romantic. Still laughs at dirty jokes. Believes they can change the world. Caring looks. Dyed hair. Kisses on the cheek.
> Sunflower: Big smiles. Always looking for the positive. Lots of friends. Warm afternoons. Basking in the sun. Stares off into space a lot. Sitting in comfortable silence.
> Dandelion: Wishing for the impossible. Shooting stars. Light breezes through their hair. White clothing. Whispered secrets. Far off looks. Kind eyes
Tagged by: ( stolen from ) @wildgcd​ Tagging:  EVERYONE. Sorry I’m so lazy but not really :P
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bitofthisandthat · 4 years
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[ If You Were an Otome Character ] 
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“Fair. I should hate this but, you know. Fair.”
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“Nope. Good night folks!”
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“I have the Knotts Landing life? Really? Son of a BITCH!”
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bitofthisandthat · 5 years
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HOLIDAYS HC || Francine!
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Francine does MOST of the outdoor AND indoor decorations; Klaus helps come up with the design “plans” and they take it super serious. They start planning what the Smith house is going to look like a week before Halloween. ( even though Francine also goes allllll out for Fall too ) They take detailed inventory of bulbs and items that are dead or “too ugly to live” and go on throwing binges. They have it down to a nit-picky science, and no one else helps them. Francine obviously has to do all the foot work, but Klaus reviews and supervises from his bowl. They spit back orders and arguments from other rooms or if Franny’s on the roof, etc. Stan is ONLY lugged out to put the heavy stuff up as per Francine’s command, IE: a life-sized Santa and his sleigh, etc. on their ROOF. Then he’s banished to the house or garage until she’s done.
Given Jack’s stint as Krampus, Francine’s fire-proofed all her outdoor decor and made DAMN sure her prized, homey, fancy indoor decorations are bolted or tied DOWN, and most of the ground level stuff is plastic, not porcelain or glass. Also? She has an outdoor “wild animal” cam installed so he doesn’t sneak in and ruin her hard work!!
Roger always meanders in while Fran and Klaus are in vigilant “elf” mode, and makes fun of them, even downplaying their hard work and how stupid it all is. But he’s always the first to tell people ( while in one of his personas ) that HE decorated the house, no one else. AND always the first to throw on the ugly Christmas sweater and enjoy the decor with music high, while downing glass after glass of “holiday cheer.” Of course, annoying everyone with how loudly gauche he can be this time of year.
Hayley and Steve know it’s best to stay OUT of Francine’s way when she’s in holiday mode, and come down after it’s almost done to rave about it, knowing the more they praise her over it, the better they get doted on during the season. IE: more cookies, gifts, etc. Jeff’s the only one that forgets to stay out of the “elf zone” and sits in the middle of the mess obliviously while Klaus makes cutting remarks about how “SOMEONE is in the way.” Of course, Jeff lets it go over his head, he just likes to watch them decorate.
She ALSO has her Lunar New Year stuff waiting in the wings to fetter into the decor once they start taking Christmas down. That way, she has a steady stream of fall to winter holidays ALWAYS up, no gaps.
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bitofthisandthat · 5 years
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Every time she sees Morty on the dash she just wants to squeeze his face and tell him to come spend time with her son---he’s about his age. And they’d probably get along.
Then she remembers she has no idea where her nerdy little boy is right now because he does so many weird things with his weird ass friends. Eh.
@implausiblynaive​
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bitofthisandthat · 5 years
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@tiredtriumph​  [ TEDDY ]
Francine followed the troupe of ‘secret scientists’ down the wide, brightly lit halls, feeling important that Bullock invited her on site in their UFO unit. Roger bragged over and over that he had broken in and out countless times over the decades since 1920, pranking and stealing from the labs there for ‘funsies.’ Because: ‘your tech and chemistry department is hilariously behind the rest of the planets in your solar system.’ But Francine doubted his stories half the time.
She felt special and cute in her little lab gear, even though the head nerd made it clear to her it didn’t make her a scientist, just a tourist in proper attire. She asked a multitude of ridiculous questions that won angry and irritated answers, but she didn’t care. They crossed the threshold of a LARGE holding bay, when the hatch opened and the commanding officer appeared, revealing a ship that they had confiscated. Francine zoned out their technical talk, her mind already wandering into look around the room, which meant...she was going to ACTUALLY wander from the group. Hey, her husband was a TOP AGENT in the C.I.A, and his boss was SO nice to her all the time! She could get away with anything. ( Their family always did )
She poked around, oohing and ahhing, taking out her phone and taking pics of the ship and any ‘cool’ thing she could shove in Roger’s face, ( and show off to her son. ) A slight movement caught her eye, and she stopped, moving slowly toward the shadow. She couldn’t see what or who was there, but a little flash of antenna that didn’t look earthly, and she gasped brightly.
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“Oooooh is that a kitty? Are you a SPACE kitty? Question: do your species purr or spit fire? Follow up question: Are you grotesquely malformed due to acid burns or evil alien overlords? Was E.T better or Close Encounters? I know from Roger that Paul was more accurate, but Avatar was pure crap. Except for the C.I.A., Because they do all that cloning tank stuff already.”
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