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goldie90 · 3 years

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Watching Pocahontas with the Sawyers

Another movie that I really loved when I was a child (and I still love it today) The story about two people from completely different cultures, falling in love with each other, despite all the problems it causes is simply amazing and it´s definitely another movie I would love to watch with the Sawyers.

But of course, not every member of the family would like it.😄

Like with almost every other movie, it will take some convincing, before Drayton will agree to watch it with us. I guess, the best thing to tell him would be the fact that the movie is vaguely based on a real story (but I think, I should probably omit the word vaguely when I tell him that😉) Of course, he would still be reluctant about it, because he fears that it´s going to be another silly and highly unrealistic movie and therefore he would ask me beforehand if there are any robots or talking animals in it. And he would make it very clear that I will get a beating with the broom,🧹 if I dare to lie to him about this (as if I´m not already know that🙄). But because there are in fact no robots or talking animals in the movie (and he didn´t ask me about talking trees...) I can assure him with a clear conscience that he got nothing to worry about and so he grumpily agrees to watch it. Although, he makes sure to keep his broom close to him. You know, just in case. (Also, it´s nice to cuddle with your best friend while watching a movie)

Also, during the opening scene he will already need his broom, cause when Chop sees that John Smith and the other men are going to travel with a ship

he just can´t help wondering if they will run into some sea monsters or sea people 🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️(because, yes that´s always the first thing that comes to his mind when he sees scenes like that) and of course, he have to share his thoughts with us, even though he knows that he shouldn´t talk about such topics when Drayton is within earshot. Much less so when he sits right next to him with the broom in his arms, but Chop just can´t help himself and so we´re not even five minutes into the movie, when my favorite brother in law already gets the first of many smacks on his head.😩

The second smack goes to Nubbins, when this scene happens:

Because when this young man named Thomas goes overboard during the storm, my darling will manically laugh, because it looks like Thomas is going to drown and in Nubbins´ opinion that´s an incredible funny thing to happen, so of course he gets pretty excited, which means he wouldn´t calm down and his laughing fit would make it really hard for the rest of us to pay attention to the screen, so Drayton gives him a hard smack with the broom and yells at him to shut up. But at this point, he won´t even need to tell him that, cause when Nubbins realizes that Thomas is not going to die,

he will abruptly stop to laugh and instead just disbelievingly shook his head, because he just can´t understand why John Smith rescued him. In Nubbins´mind it makes no sense. These two don´t even know each other, they´re just ended up on the same ship, so why the hell is John helping Thomas? Why can´t he just let him drown and enjoy the show, like every normal human being would do? If this guy was a family member or a good friend, then of course, rescuing him would make sense, but a complete stranger? That´s just stupid! At this moment my darling will come to the conclusion that there´s something deeply wrong with John Smith and he won´t hesitate to tell us exactly that, until Drayton yells at him again and threats him with the broom.

But during this scene:

Something very unusual happens, because Drayton and Nubbins actually agree on something (which is really rare). As soon as Nubbins sees how Pocahontas jumps from the cliff, he will be absolutely convinced that she´s not going to survive that stunt and of course, he wants to see her die (you know, because it´s fun🙄). So when this is not happening, my dear husband will get really angry, because it´s already the second time in the movie that someone could have died but didn´t. Seriously, what is that all about? Drayton is asking himself the same question (although for different reasons). So when Nubbins says something like: “Why - why she didn´t died? She - she should be de - dead!” Drayton will look at him, nodding slightly and saying: “You´re right boy, she should....It would be much more realistic.” Then Nubbins will nod enthusiastically and say that it would also be much more funny, while Drayton would mumble that you don´t survive a jump from such a height. And then this conversation would go on for a while and me, Chop and Bubba would have no other choice but to listen, (grandpa don´t know what´s going on anyways) so it would be pretty hard for us to pay attention to the screen. The only good thing coming out of Nubbins´ and Drayton´s odd conversation would be that Drayton would be too distracted to be annoyed by Chop singing along during the music parts.

But he would be annoyed by this scene:

A talking tree? A TALKING TREE? That´s.... no, that´s too much for Drayton. Why does he always have to watch such stupid, unrealistic movies with us? There are so many useful things he could do instead. Also, didn´t I told him that there wouldn´t be such silly things? And didn´t he told me about the consequences if I´d lie to him about this topic?😨

And right at this moment him and I would look at each other, he with an reproachful expression on his face, me with a nervous one and then I could see how his fingers clutching the broomstick more tightly and I would know that now I´ve got to run, so I would get up from the couch and run out of the room and he would follow me with the broom, to give me the promised beating, while the twins and Bubba would simply continue to watch the movie (it is so common that one of us get chased with the broom, that the others don´t pay any attention to it. It´s a pretty normal thing in this house).

Anyways, Drayton would chase me around for a while, until I end up with my back to the wall at some point and then I would try to talk myself out of the situation and he would say something like “I told you and I told you that I don´t want nothing of that nonsense!” And I would reply that he only said that he don´t want to see talking animals - but he never said something about trees. Yes, I would have to play a bit dumb here, while I ask him all innocently: “How should I knew that talking trees are also off limits, Drayton? You didn´t told me.” And actually, it will make him hesitate, right when he´s about to hit me, because I have a point here, but his hesitation wouldn´t last. No, just when I think that I can get out of this without resceiving a beating, he will give me a hard smack on the head, because he thinks that I should have knew that he would never, NEVER want to see a movie with a talking tree in it.

So when we finally get back to the rest of the family (me of course with some bruises🤕), Pocahontas and John already met and Nubbins would currently be in the middle of a angry rant about their first encounter, because he absolutely hated this scene.

It was again one of those moments when his hopes were getting up all high, just to be crushed right away and let me tell you, he hates these moments, he really hates them. Why does it always have to be like this, everytime he watches a movie? It looks like someone is going to die and he looks forward to it, but then nothing happens. It´s so frustrating. Take this scene for example: It seemed like John was going to shoot Pocahontas, which would have been such a great thing (not as good as stabbing her with a knife🔪 or slay her with a hammer🔨, but still good) but all of a sudden, he changed his mind and instead decided to have a friendly conversation with her.

It makes no sense. Also, it just confirmed Nubbins´ suspicion that there´s something seriously wrong with this guy, because no person in their right mind would do such a thing. No, John Smith must be completely insane, there´s no other explanation for the stupid things he does.

While Nubbins rants about this topic and tells everyone of us exactly what he thinks about John, Chop will loudly wonder about how long it will take till John will sleep with Pocahontas, cause yes, he´s absolutely convinced that there will be a sex scene in the movie.🙄 Of course, Drayton who´s already in a bad mood due to the whole talking tree issue won´t be all too happy to hear him talk about such indecent things, so now Chop is the one who have to run away from the broom, while I would try my best to calm Nubbins down, which wouldn´t be easy.😩 I would have to assure him, that there will be indeed a death scene in the movie (which I would regret real soon, because from then on he would ask me every other minute when exactly it will happen and he would only shut up after Drayton smacks him with the broom).

At this point everyone, except Bubba, grandpa and of course Drayton himself would have some nasty bruises. Also, the only reason Drayton agreed to continue watching the movie is because I promised him that there wouldn´t be more talking trees (or any talking things who are not supposed to talk). Of course, I told him that the talking tree he´d already seen would make another appearance (honestly, I wouldn´t dare to lie to him about this) and even though he wasn´t happy about it, he begrudgingly accepted it, because after he had processed the first shock about the talking tree, he thinks he can endure to see it again, as long as there are not more of them.

Yes, he can endure to see grandmother willow again, but one thing he definitely CAN`T endure are Chop´s perverted comments during this scene:

Yes, Chop would be absolutely convinced that now the two main characters are going to have sex right there in the woods and again Drayton (whose face would turn dark red, the second Chop starts to loudly wonder in which position John will bang the pretty lady) have to smack him with the broom to make him shut up.

But just when Chop stops his inappropriate speech, his twin will get a really hard laughing fit, because things just started to get chaotic on screen:

Watching these two men fight is so much fun and Pocahontas´ unsuccessful attemps to make them stop are also pretty amusing. Yes, my dear husband is really enjoying this scene, because in his opinion it is the best thing that happened in the movie so far and he really don´t care who wins the fight - as long as someone dies he´s happy.😟

So needless to say, when it finally happens, Nubbins will be completely overjoyed.

Kocoum is dead! Oh, that´s great! And the fact that Thomas was the one who killed him, makes the whole situation even more fun, because you wouldn´t have expected this. No, not from this shy young man, who almost drowned in the beginning of the movie. Yes, Nubbins is still a bit disappointed because he survived (which we know, is only John´s fault😒), but now he´s also glad about it, because if Thomas died, he wouldn´t have been able to kill this native american warrior and in my darling´s opinion, this would really be a shame. So right now Thomas is actually his favorite character in the movie, because he´s the only one who actually killed someone, instead of just talking about it (like Governor Ratcliffe and Pocahontas´ father do) No, Thomas actually did it and Nubbins respects that, he really does.

Also, something that makes the whole thing even better in his opinion, is the fact that Thomas get away with it, while John is captured by the native americans. At this point, Nubbins will actually laugh so hard that he falls off the couch.🙄

He just can´t help himself, the whole situation is just so damn funny. Pocahontas´ dad now wants to kill John (and this time it actually seems like he´s serious about it), meanwhile Ratcliffe, Thomas and the other men are planning to rescue him, so it seems like at this point, a war between these two groups is unavoidable and surely this means that more people are going to die and damn, how great is that? Also, it´s really funny to see how desperate Pocahontas gets at the thought of John getting killed.

Yes, currently Nubbins really loves the movie, but this will change abruptly during this scene:

What the hell is this woman doing? She just ruined a perfect moment with her stupid rescue operation! Why did she do that? WHY??? While Nubbins is completely shocked, Bubba who was actually holding his breath, will now audibly outhale, because he´s deeply relieved about the fact that Pocahontas´ father is now not going to kill John. He couldn´t have stand it, if this had actually happened, because unlike Nubbins, he don´t want John to die. No, Bubba wants to see him and Pocahontas getting married and maybe having some kids.💕👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Yes, that would be nice. Meanwhile, Chop will simply smile and say something like: “I´d kne- knew that she would do this! Can´t have him ki- killed, before she was able to get- get laid by him, right?” Needless to say that Drayton will smack him with the broom for this comment.

Meanwhile Nubbins will still be angry about the whole thing and he still can´t understand why Pocahontas did what she did, but when I tell him that it is because she loves John and maybe say something like: “I would do the same for you.” He will actually think about it for a moment and then he would come to the conclusion that, okay, maybe it makes sense. But still.... the scene should have been different. Why did her father not simply kill them both? When he shares this thought with me, I would remind him that “He´s her father. ...Would you kill your own child, Nubbins?” Well, after thinking about it for a moment, he would have to admit that no, he wouldn´t. And then he would most likely say something like: “But some-someone else could have kill-killed them both! It would be much-much better.” At this point I would simply pat his shoulder, while discretely rolling my eyes. Seriously, it makes no sense to discuss with him. He thinks that the two main characters should have died and nothing what I say would change his mind.

For Nubbins, a movie is only good when many people die in it, so of course this moment:

will make him feel hopeful again, because he thinks that now John is going to die. Also, at this point it will make him especially happy, because in his opinion, John really deserves to die, due to his stupidity. This crazy guy just rescued again someone for no particular reason, so of course he deserves to die!

So needless to say that he will be really disappointed and also very angry, about the fact that John survives, but at least he´s seriously injured , so now he have to sail back home, which means that he and Pocahontas now have to say goodbye to each other, which is also a funny moment.😩

At least the main characters can´t be together in the end. Nubbins is really relieved about it, because he just can´t stand happy ends in movies. (For him a real happy end is, when by the end of the movie, every character is dead.🙄)

Meanwhile, Chop will be a bit disappointed because John and Pocahontas didn´t had sex, but exceptionally he will keep his thoughts to himself, because he already got beaten up enough by Drayton while watching the movie and he don´t want to have more of that.

But while Chop is just disappointed, Bubba will be incredible sad, because this ending is not what he wanted it to be. He´d wished for John and Pocahontas to be happy together for the rest of their lives, but now everything turned out completely differently and poor Bubba just can´t stand it. He starts to cry and Drayton have to comfort him, which will lead to me resceiving another beating with the broom, because I suggested to watch this movie and therefore it´s my fault that Bubba is sad.

Also, this night Drayton won´t sleep very well, because he will have a very scary nightmare. He dreams about walking through a forest, when all of a sudden all the trees around him, are starting to talk to him.🌲🌳🌲

He wakes up screaming and afterwards he would be too scared to go back to sleep. And because of the sleep deprivation, he will be even more grumpy than usual in the morning, which will lead to everyone of us getting beat up before we even had breakfast.😟

#nubbins sawyer #chop top sawyer #drayton sawyer #bubba sawyer #grandpa sawyer #texas chainsaw massacre #movie night with the sawyers #domestic fantasies

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