#'can you start individuals?' yeah i'll ask [host lead]

[wellthatschaotic]

neurotypicals are so frustrating,, i keep forgetting that "can you do x" means "go do x"

[totaleclipse573]

Gotta say, Doleon in general is very fascinating to me. I really want to know more about that second sketch you posted, but I don’t even know what to ask! So, I'll settle for this instead:

I remember you said Doleon was sorta corrupted/being controlled by the Chaos Shards, correct? So would you say he was "good" before that happened? Basically, how much did he change?

Well, I can give a summary (sorry if its a rant) of what the second sketch is supposed to represent! Basically, the Shards of Chaos have minds of their own, and have their own thought process and individual "hivemind," to simplify. When there were seven guardians still alive, each protecting one, their purpose was to keep the shards and their hivemind stable, handling one at a time to avoid any dire effects. But of course, once Doleon was corrupted by his own shard (he did a certain thing he was always told not to, which activated the hivemind connection directly to him,) and it now essentially had a lot of control over him, leading him to do the same to all the other shards to fully connect their control to a singular host. Go forward centuries later and the effects are BAD. He could be saying or thinking something slightly out of range from what the shards want him to say or think, and they'll have to push him further into the hivemind/corruption to keep using him. He has no idea this is even the reason though, he just gets a lot of migraines, that's all. His scars? Injuries, not the shards energy. He could literally cough up blood and still say it isn't the shards affecting him. That's how they keep him in line. Giving him the illusion of control when he never had it to start. But they do make him feel guilt at the same time. Like "you killed your brothers, yes, its your fault. But past is past, forget about them, you have this power now." But those are HIS thoughts...right?

And for the second question, before the corruption started, he was pretty much the same, but like...not an alien overlord? He didn't really change much in terms of personality and such, what changed most was his physical and mental health, like I was talking about in the first part. So I guess you could say he was good, yeah, he was just overly curious and rebellious in a way that led to his own downfall rise to power.

[dakotablackwood]

Silence [Pt. 2]

Part 1, Part 2

Warnings: Unsympathetic Virgil, deception, manipulation, physical pain, bottled feelings, disguised violent threat, murder mention/joke, cursing, insults, hatred, Phonophobia [Fear of loud noises]

Ships: Loceit??? Who knows??? DLMP, other ships TBD

Prologue: It all got to be too much for Deceit sometimes. He's a flawed side, defective, useless. He isn't supposed to have these fears. He isn't supposed to flinch every time he drops something. He isn't supposed to have a panic attack when the dryer at a fast food restaurant is just a little bit too loud. It only gets worse when Virgil decides to mess with him. He thought Virgil would get better after being with the light sides. He didn't think Virgil would do anything to harm him. He couldn't hate Deceit so much that he'd hurt him, right?

--------------------

When he woke up, he almost thought it was all a dream. Well, he hoped it was. As distinct hushed whispers came into focus, he knew it wasn't. If that wasn't enough, the texture of his bed felt….wrong. He didn't want to move, he didn't want to open his eyes, he didn't want to do anything to give the impression he was awake. It made him sick just thinking about the look on their faces. He'd honestly rather spontaneously combust than have to deal with their hatred. They probably thought it was a joke, some tactic to gain their trust. That would be fine, at least they would leave it as that. Maybe it would be better that way. 

Suddenly, a specific comment caught his attention. It was quiet, and he seemed to be the only one who heard it.

"You always screw things up, don't you?" 

Deceit's eyes flew open, and he was sitting up in just a few seconds. He regretted it immediately. Not only had he caught the others' attention, but he was now dizzy with how fast he'd gotten up. His mind blurred and his vision gave out. His body started to sway while he held his head, waiting for it all to stop. 

A hand settled firmly on his upper arm. He couldn't comprehend it until a few seconds later, but when he did, he noticed that it hurt. It burned, really. As the dizziness subsided, he was able to look up and see Virgil, Logan, Patton, and Roman all standing over him. All he could focus on, though, was Virgil's hand over his arm, barely even touching him. 

Deceit had fallen back, landing on his pillow at some point in his dizziness. He hadn't felt it at all, which was weird, but then again he was really dizzy. Normally, he would've cared about the fact that he wasn't in his own room. He would've been appreciative of the attention he was getting, if it weren't for the searing pain of Virgil's hand on his arm. He was so confused. 'How is he doing that? What did I do? What is happening?'

The pain made him bite his tongue, flinching and moving around uncomfortably. 

He opened his mouth to speak, and as soon as he did, Virgil pulled his hand from his arm. Deceit gloved hand went to rub his skin where the side had touched him, "Why- how did you do that?"

Virgil mocked confusion, as if he wasn't speaking to the master of deception, "What do you mean, snake face? Are you already trying to mess with us?" He glared, but to Deceit, it meant 'shut up, no one will believe you'.

Deceit just rolled his eyes, not wanting to play these games. All he wanted was to know why he wasn't in his room anymore and how the hell he got here. He looked at the others, scanning each of their faces. Patton's was concerned, ever loving and caring. Roman's expression displayed uncertainty. Logan's was calm, but his eyes. His eyes showed concern. Genuine concern. 

One of the things Deceit can do is see true emotion through people's eyes. He was able to see how someone truly felt, if they showed it or not.

Even so, he thought even the others could see Logan's emotions if they tried. They were always so strong, but somehow, the others never saw them. They never saw how truly emotional Logan is. It seemed so obvious to Deceit, but the other seemed to have his emotions so covered up that the others just didn't quite notice it. It was so confusing to Deceit. How did they not see it?! He was upset and almost crying, how did no one notice?

It always baffled him how the others could be so smart, so attached to each other, and yet they couldn't notice things like Logan's body stiffening (hurt, upset, angry) or him going silent (ignored, surprised). Deceit noticed these things, yes, but Logan's eyes broke every little external wall he put up for himself. He could have a cold hard expression, but be incredibly hurt or excited. 

He quickly snapped back to life when he heard Patton's voice suddenly, "Deceit, are you….are you okay? Yesterday was rough for you, I imagine." He chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Deceit's eyes were still just slightly red from crying, and he could feel the dried tears on his face. He remembered every detail of last night and flinched, "Perfectly fine, Patton. I've been fine, last night was nothing. It was simply a burst of emotion that I obviously couldn't handle. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll take my leave before you all start hating me again. I'd rather not be here for that part." As he stood, he finally took a look at the room he was in. Obviously Patton's, with blue walls decorated with rainbows, kittens, dogs, stars, and every other happy thing you can think of. There was a wall of pictures and memories from Thomas' past. They showcased big accomplishments in their host's life, like when Thomas got an award and when he got the lead role in a school play. 

The room was bright and happy, everything in it was something from Thomas' past that held value. 

Patton's room and Deceit's were very very different in that aspect, despite having the same layout.

Speaking of Patton, the side frowned when he went to leave, "Wait, ki- Deceit!"

At the mention of his 'name', the deceptive side turned to look at the bubbly dad. It didn't hurt that he didn't call him 'kiddo', it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, he wasn't a kid why would it hurt- "Yes, oh so loveable Morality?"

Patton crossed his arms, "Please tell us why you were so upset. We've never seen you cry before, we're just concerned."

He didn't know what bothered him so much about that little statement, but Deceit just hissed in annoyance, "Concerned? Really? Don't even try with that. I don't do anything that important, now go do your job and stop lying to a liar. Honestly Morality, you could've called me stupid to my face and it would've been less insulting." He could taste the lie on his tongue. It was a nice, rich honey-like substance. If it wasn't for the blatant, hurtful lie he would've appreciated the taste. He craves it, and this would've been a victory if it weren't for the pain that came with it. 

"Well, I care king cobra!" Roman said defensively, "I mean, come on! We're not part of a mean person, we can't completely hate you! Have a little faith in us man, we're not that terrible." The prince huffed, looking to the side like an insulted teenager. 

"Yeah, we're not going to like….kill you or anything." Virgil 'agreed', and somehow, no one noticed the sarcasm except Deceit. 

This just made the snake faced side uncomfortable. The way the other's eyes darkened, how Virgil's smirk looked sinister to only him. It all just made him want to throw up.

"Right, well, I'm going to be in my room. While I'm there, try to keep it down for me." Deceit asked casually before sinking out. He didn't feel comfortable anymore, and he didn't need to deal with this right now. As soon as he made it to his room, he groaned and went to go look for his hat.

Now, any other side/person would've thought Deceit's request probably had nothing to do with the reason he was distressed the previous night. However, that little statement had confirmed everything that Logan had hypothesized already. He knew why he was crying, and he knew exactly what that meant. Was he going to tell the others? No.

Now you might be thinking "why not?"

Because, put simply, the others had had enough of his explanations, lectures, and definitions. He didn't think they would understand or care about what it meant either. They would lose interest, ignore him, dismiss his information as invalid.

He really did care about Deceit. He knows more about Deceit than Deceit even knows he knows about. He knows Deceit knows more about him, too. Does he care? No. He actually quite likes how someone can see past his hard exterior. 

Yes, it was hard to be the logical side. It would be harder to do his job, though, if the others hated him. Which was why he felt kind of bad for Deceit in a way. While filming SvS, he had to step in and stop the other. Not because he wanted to be rude- despite how rude it might've came off as to Deceit- but because he knew the others wouldn't listen. He knew the snake side wasn't going to get anywhere, and it was better if it was stopped before the deceptive side felt just as bad as he did when he himself was ignored. It wasn't worth it to keep going, because it would only hurt worse the longer it went on.

He made a mental note to keep the noise level to a minimum.

After a few minutes of silence, he decided enough was enough and that they were wasting time, "We all need to resume our individual work elsewhere. We are not accomplishing anything standing here except for 'effectively' wasting valuable time. If we are done here, we should disperse, as I believe we cannot properly do our part in helping Thomas without moving from this specific spot. I will leave now, and I expect everyone else, excluding Patton, to do the same. This is Patton's room, obviously, so technically he's where he needs to be. Apart from him-" He was cut off by a groan from Roman.

"Alright, alright we get it! We're leaving!" Roman said before sinking out with raised hands.

Virgil just shrugged, leaving silently with a peace sign.

After the last of the two left, Logan sighed and finally sunk out. 

Back in Deceit's room, panic was starting to rise as he searched everywhere for his hat. He just couldn't find it, and he didn't have another one. He was hyperventilating as he checked the floor for the twelfth time, sweaty with fear. It had to be there. It HAD to be there. As he searched, he felt more and more vulnerable and defenseless without his hat. He was searching for hours, having destroyed his room in the process. He was crying again by the end of it, on his knees in the middle of the room. His hair was messed up, his makeup even more messed up than before. He wanted his hat so badly, it was childish. It was so so childish but he NEEDED it. It was his hat for god sake. It was one of the only things that gave him comfort, the only thing beside it being his gloves. He felt stupid, but he also felt so….exposed without that damn hat. Burn anything in his room, sure, he didn't care. The only things he ever cared about was his hat and gloves, so be it if everything else is gone. He was so annoyed, upset, anxious. All he wanted was his hat, was that too much to ask?

Back in Virgil's room, tucked discreetly into a drawer and covered by clothes, was a little black hat. Inside, hidden from the eyes of everyone, was a little embroidery of a two headed snake.

[sunken-standard]

For the ask thing, from my "Gallon of Milk" prompt: "Fine," Sherlock groaned. "I wasn't going to mention it yet, but after you go back to work I'll be taking over most of the daytime care of the baby, which will include feedings. 'The breast is best' on a number of fronts past nutrition, including infant-parent bonding and brain development from holding a mother's gaze. Bottle-feeding is clearly the inferior choice, what with the potential for ingestion of air leading to a host of digestive issu

From this ask meme.

I don’t even know how I got the fake boob from the gallon of milk to begin with, but that happened.

And I see Sherlock (in my crack universes, at least) as being a very invested parent–reading every book and scouring the internet and doing everything in the name of social, intellectual, and emotional development.  He wants to raise the ubermensch, basically (but not in a problematic eugenics sort of way, more like an overachieving perfectionist sort of way).

So I have a lot of friends who had kids starting like 10 years ago, and I’m taking a lot from conversations I had in the past and things I learned from them/ read on my own (as well as my time as a nanny and my turn on the sales floor of the baby department of Burlington Coat Factory); even though I was not baby-oriented, human growth and development is fascinating and I like learning new things. 

When I was growing up, a lot of the mothers to kids my age (and younger women who were having babies when I was old enough to understand conversations I would eavesdrop on, so like the late 80s onward) were kind of breast-feeding repulsed.  It was gross and formula was just better because nurses at the hospital pushed Similac like they were selling Tupperware and bottle-feeding was socially acceptable and allowed women to go back to work without the hassle of pumping, etc. 

Since then, everyone’s done a 180 and suddenly breastfeeding is *the* thing.  If you choose not to breastfeed, look out.  You’ll get mom-shamed to the end of the universe.  Some of my closest friends are breastfeeding evangelists, so I know the arguments backwards and forwards.  I do lean towards their opinions on the matter (and most of the other crunchy-granola/ free range/ radical parenting stuff), but I think it’s up to every individual woman and no one has the right to question her decision.  (I won’t even get into how it’s a class/ race issue, but oh how I could…)

And as for the daytime care of the baby, I can totally see him doing that.  It’s my HC that he had a traditional upbringing, with a stay-at-home mum and a distant (if loving) father, but he’s very much a man of the times and doesn’t have use for those old, rigid gender roles.  Since he has a more flexible schedule (assuming most of what he does is very boring and routine and the things we see onscreen are just the most exceptional, rare cases) and he wouldn’t want Molly to have to sacrifice her career like his own mother did (which, before he knew about Eurus, he blamed for her being inconsistent in her emotional distance and almost resentful of her children at times when she wasn’t smothering or spoiling them), it only makes sense that he would raise his own kid, not some stranger.  It’s even more personal than a grand experiment, though that would definitely be a highlight for him.

Actually, now that I think about it, I’m kind of lampooning a lot of my yuppie friends.  Sometimes the shit they post on Facebook is like another language, with all their Waldorf school jargon and shorthand for a million different methods pertaining to every aspect of parenting.  Since I haven’t had cause to go that deep down the rabbit hole, it’s all kind of weird and alien and they all sound like otaku in the child-rearing fandom.

So, ah, yeah.  Also, I like making jokes about boobs.