#who until now have done NOTHING managery. they have walked around and talked to each other and asked questions

[wellthatschaotic]

neurotypicals are so frustrating,, i keep forgetting that "can you do x" means "go do x"

[up-in-space-reading]

The End of the World and Everything After

pairing: Matt x F Reader

word count: 6,345

warnings/tags: angst, grief, hurt, fluff, comfort, established relationship, unplanned pregnancy, swearing, domestic fluff, dad!Matt, the blip/the snap, mentions of alcohol, allusions to sex (nothing graphic). no use of y/n.

read on ao3

masterlist

Story Summary: Half of the universe is turned into dust because of Thanos. You and Matt were left behind to pick up the pieces of yourselves and try to learn how to live without the most important people in your lives.

a/n: This fic was born from me babysitting, listening to 90s top hits for two weeks straight, and way too many conversations with my partner about what our fave characters did during the blip. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy <3

The whole world stopped that day. The entire universe stood still. It was unbelievably quiet everywhere, a silence settling down on the surface that wouldn’t lift anytime soon.

On an average Tuesday afternoon, half of the earth disappeared in minutes. Leaving behind the other half to cope with the losses and clean up the mess left behind.

No one was sure what the Avengers did or didn’t do, all everyone knew was that five minutes after someone had snapped their fingers half of their loved ones were no longer around.

Not dead, just dust.

Matt had taken losing Karen and Foggy hard. He spent months taking out his anger on anything he could hit and kick. Bruised and bloody fists a harsh reminder that he is alive, and they aren’t. The streets and the punching bag in the gym got hit with his rage, and you got hit with his sadness. There was no denying you felt it too, you were just as much of a mess you just didn’t have the physical outlet he did.

He started training you in the old dusty ring at Fogwells a few months after, hitting the bag and sparring until neither of you could handle it anymore and the tears began falling again, collapsing into each other’s arms for a while. You’d then walk home, arm in arm on the quiet streets of the Kitchen, Matt would listen to the people left and you’d stare at the empty buildings.

It was a similar routine for a year but getting easier to handle with every passing week. A smile here and there when you would land a punch, a giggle when he’d grab you around the waist in just the right spot to tickle you.

Slowly, you were getting yourselves back. Not your old selves, but a new version, versions that lived with the pain and held onto the small glimpses of hope. Versions of yourselves that settled into a calm and quiet routine. You got to a place where you could talk about them with a bittersweet tone instead of not being able to speak through the tears. And in the strangest turn of events, connections were made.

It was Jessica who had reached out first. You had been so surprised you read the text on Matt’s phone yourself multiple times. Her and Luke had figured things out, they even had a kid a few months before the blip. But they were getting lonely, and once Luke has realised who was left he figured you and Matt were getting lonely too.

Halfway through that first year you quit your job, began working with Matt in the office doing the admin and office managerial tasks. He didn’t have many clients, but people were still having issues during this time. At some point everyone decided the world had to keep turning, people needed money to stay in their homes or downsize and businesses still needed to run. The city kept going, it just felt smaller and emptier now.

You packed away Karen and Foggy’s things, in storage boxes. Matt asked why you didn’t get rid of them completely and you didn’t have an answer, maybe a small part of you hoped they’d come back one day. Maybe you just didn’t have the heart to get rid of it all yet. The door to Foggy’s office staying almost permanently shut, windows dark.

So, you sat at the desk in the main foyer of the office, answering emails and doing any research Matt needed done. Matt went over files and case notes in his office, listening to you hum along to the music playing quietly through a speaker in the corner of the room. It was a little over a year since it had happened.

It was a warm day, sunlight pouring through the dirty office windows making the space look happier than it ought to be. You were busy typing an email response to organise an appointment with a client when there was a knock at the door.

“Come in” You said loud enough so the person could hear, not looking up from your computer screen.

Luke opened the door with one hand, holding Dani and a bag of food in the other. Dani had her arms wrapped around as much of Luke’s neck as she could reach and was babbling in her fathers ear while he hummed in response.

“Hi Luke, hi Dani” You smiled wide at the two of them.

You were always happy to see Dani, convinced she was one of the cutest kids you’d ever seen. Looks like her fathers and a temper like her mothers (only if you didn’t give in to her ice cream demands).

“Hey, how you guys doing? We bought you both some lunch if you haven’t already had some” He took the bag of food in his free hand and held it up for emphasis.

“No, we haven’t eaten yet, thank you so much.” You stomach grumbling as you stood up and accepted the bag happily, peering at the contents inside “Can’t believe the mayor of New York is doing a lunch run while also looking after his little one”

At the mention of Dani you look at her and scrunch up your nose and smile, she smiled in return before quickly hiding her face in Luke’s shoulder. Luke laughed.

“If I’m behind that desk for too long I’ll lose my mind, besides, needed to ask Matt a few things and figured it was a good excuse to get out”

You laughed in response, it was a new feeling, laughing at things regularly and feeling a semblance of normal. It was something none of you had been used to in a long while, but it did feel good, you almost felt relieved that the worst was over even though the worst was technically still ongoing.

“If there’s enough here for all of us I’ll get a table and some chairs set up so we can eat together, you go chat with Matt, Dani and I will hang out for a bit”

Luke passed Dani over to you before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and going into Matt’s office. You went about dragging out the fold out table and chairs from the unused conference room, Dani in one arm and dragging furniture with the other. Eventually you put her down on the floor next to the small basket of toys you’d acquired for her so you could finish setting up the table and chairs and place the food out on the table.

Once done, you knocked on the door of Matt’s office and poked your head in telling the two boys that food was ready. The four of you sat down around the small square table, Dani on Luke’s lap trying her absolute hardest to stab things with a chopstick.

You small talk about your days and what everyone has been up to recently, its mostly the same as usual and at some point Matt and Luke continue talking shop so you start entertaining Dani with funny faces and peek-a-boo.

It was a nice day, you finished work an hour before Matt and were able to cook something nice for dinner by the time he got home.

Later that night you and Matt were sat on the couch, both reading a book quietly. He had decided to not go on patrol that night, it had made you wonder at first, but you weren’t going to complain at the chance for quality time. The two of you were sat on the couch, you were leaning against the arm rest with your legs stretched out on Matt’s lap, his feet were resting on the coffee table and you’d both been wearing your pyjamas since arriving home after work. A record playing on the turntable in the corner of the room, Matt had picked tonight.

At a point in the evening when the sun was down and the moon making its home in the sky for the night Matt put his book down on the side table, running his hands up and down your shins. After a few minutes and once you’d finished your page you closed your book and put it down, looking up at him to see he was already facing you, a lazy smile on his face.

“What’s up, handsome?” You teased reaching one of your hands down, meeting one of his at your knee.

“Nothing much, beautiful” He teased back.

You sit in silence for a few moments, taking in all his features and how they seem to have aged so much just in the past year and you assumed you looked the same. But he was still beautiful, pensive and unfocused brown eyes staring while his other senses take in everything. The stubble lingering on his jaw that you had always preferred over him being clean shaven.

“You’re staring” He pulled you out of your thoughts.

“If you could see your reflection then you’d understand why” You giggled.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked tentatively.

“Of course”

You leaned your head sideways to rest on the back of the couch, still looking at him as he seemed hesitant with his question. Had this been six months ago your mind would have run wild with possibilities, anxiety having already decided the worst outcome was definitely going to happen. But this time, your instincts weren’t screaming and your mind was clear, it should’ve scared you but instead your heart stayed steady. The worst had already happened, anything since couldn’t compare.

“I love you, so much. The past year has been…” He looks away, blinking hard a few times before turning to face you again “probably one of the worst ever, we were- are dealing with something so unprecedented. But we’ve made it this far and it has me convinced we’ll make it through anything” You both let out a short laugh.

“I feel like I’m getting off track, sorry” He laughed nervously this time, at this point you could see he was fiddling with something in his pocket with his free hand.

“That’s okay, keep going” You smiled and squeezed his hand, trying to calm your heartbeat as your mind jumped to conclusions hoping against everything they were the right ones.

“Anyway, if it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would’ve done or where I would be now. You’re the most amazing, kind, funny and caring person I’ve ever met.” Tears were welling up in his eyes, matching the ones that had been brimming in yours threatening to spill “I-I can’t live without you, so would you marry me?”

He pulled his hand out of his pocket, holding a silver ring. It was beautiful, two small bands winding around one other creating an infinite spiral, decorated with small diamonds embedded in the bands. It was the perfect ring for you, he knew you weren’t a fan of big jewellery and a big diamond wouldn’t match your style.

“Oh my god Matt… yes I will, of course I will” The tears had now begun to fall now and there was no way you were going to be able to stop them.

He held your shaking left hand steady as he slid the ring on your finger, and you looked at it for a few moments before sliding closer to Matt to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. He returned the favour, hands going to your waist to hold you close and steady. When you pulled back for air you could see he was also crying.

After a few moments of catching your breath, you spoke up again.

“What about K-“

“I know, I thought about it. They would hate that we stopped living just because they’re gone, and if we get to see them again one day I want to be able to tell them the things we’ve done together”

“Okay, if you’re sure” You put your forehead against his.

“Sure as I’ve been about anything”

The two of you chose a date a few weeks later to go to the courthouse and make it official, with Luke, Jess, and Dani in tow. You and Jess went out to get a dress, she insisted she was only there to tell you which ones were ugly so you’d know what to avoid. The dress you chose was simple, not a wedding dress by definition but it was white and it suited you. Jess had even said you looked nice in it, which coming from her she may as well have called you Aphrodite.

You filled out and signed papers, quickly kissed, and by that evening the five of you were sitting in yours and Matt’s apartment a few drinks in laughing over nothing. Music from the turntable and Dani’s babbling as she played on the floor creating background noise, and for the first time in a long time the city doesn’t feel too big or too quiet.

It was a perfect night to end a perfect day.

Throwing up into the toilet isn’t how you had anticipated you’d start your Saturday morning, Matt still in pyjama pants and no shirt holding your hair back as your body convulsed. He rubbed your back soothingly until you’d finished, and once you were sure you were done, he held you on the bathroom floor as you caught your breath.

A year and a half since half the universe disappeared, a few months since you and Matt had gotten married.

“Oh god” You gasped, looking at the results of the test later that day.

“Well..” Matt trailed off.

You were both processing the results in silence for a little while, you weren’t sure if it were seconds or hours that passed.

“Quarters” Matt whispered.

At first it confused you until you racked your brain, did some rough maths and suddenly it made sense.

“Quarters” You whispered back in shock.

“This should be incredibly unfair to you but I actually think it’s the opposite and incredibly unfair to me” You giggled while pouring a shot of whiskey into the cup in the middle of the table.

“Mrs Murdock attacks her husband once again, will the torment ever end” Matt pretended to fret to someone else who wasn’t in the room before laughing.

“Mr Murdock is going the right way to sleeping on the couch if he continues to pretend he will be bad at this game”

Matt walked to the dining table, carrying freshly washed quarters in a towel, drying them as he walked. He had insisted on washing the coins before playing, they smelled so strong he could taste them and it made him feel ill.

“I’m going to cheat” You said matter of factly.

“Sweetheart, I didn’t marry you because you’re a fair player” You both laughed hard.

You had begun playing games every so often, going out drinking less meant you and Matt had time to fill and you were determined to not have him fill the time with Daredevil. An argument six months after the blip which left you both emotionally raw had already gone over that issue. He was doing worlds better now, not relying on Daredevil as much to cope and you were proud.

When Matt was satisfied that the coins were as clean as he could get them and dry enough, the game commenced. You immediately regretted it, wishing you had chosen a card game instead. He was landing every single one, you were lucky to get one in four. After a little while you stood up to get some water and wobbled on your feet, deciding that you had to stack the odds in your favour somehow so you wouldn’t get blackout while Matt stayed lightly buzzed.

“Need help getting to the fridge?” He teased, leaning back in his chair.

“I am perfectly fine walking a few steps to the fridge” You insisted, but you were definitely trying harder than usual to take balanced and even steps.

Once you had acquired a bottle of water, you returned to the table and picked up a coin for your next shot. Unsurprisingly you miss the glass, but before Matt can pick up a coin of his own you take one off the table as quick as possible and take another shot. This one makes it into the glass and you throw your arms up in victory while Matt throws his head back laughing.

“Drink up Matthew!” You cheered.

From that point on Matt let you keep trying until you got the coin in the glass before taking his turn. At some point in the evening when your cheeks were hurting from laughter and your mouth was sticky with the taste of alcohol you called it a night, advising Matt that you two had shared enough of the bottle for a single evening.

You stumbled through the living room and into the bedroom together, feeling grateful that you from a few hours ago decided to put her pyjamas on before starting the game. You were warm and happy all over, but it wasn’t until Matt took his shirt off that your heart began to race and heat spread through your body.

“Hmm”

The noise had accidentally slipped from your lips, you hadn’t meant for it to come out but it was too late, Matt had already heard it and was taking in the rest of your body’s reaction.

“Oh” He responded quietly while smirking.

“And you’re sure you want to do this?” You asked nervously from the other end of the couch.

“Sure as I’ve been about anything, only if you’re sure too” He placed a hand on your knee.

“Yeah, I’m sure”

You let out a deep breath, taking it all in and already thinking ahead. A feeling settled in your chest, a mix of excitement and anxiety. You both had a daunting future ahead of you but you were sure it would be worth it, and there was no one you’d rather do it with than Matt.

Luke was elated for the both of you, and Jess pretended to not be as happy also but had a hard time hiding it, a rare smile gracing her face for just a moment when you had told them the news. You often texted Jess with a million different questions and whilst reluctant to answer she still helped more than you’d ever be able to thank her for. When you found out the gender Luke brought over a few bags of Dani’s old stuff that she had grown out of and you couldn’t be more grateful.

“Your daughter is fuckin’ huge, can you help me with my shoes please” You yelled across the apartment to Matt.

“As soon as she’s an issue it’s my daughter, huh?” He teased as he walked over to where you were on the couch, his tie still undone.

Matt knelt on the floor in front of you and helped with putting your socks and shoes on, you hadn’t been able to reach your feet for a while now so he was used to it and he never minded helping in any way he could. You were the one doing the hard work after all, who was he to complain about having to help with a pair of shoes every now and then.

Once he was done with your shoes he placed a kiss onto your belly and then your forehead. He finished doing up his tie and you both headed out to work for the day. It was a brisk morning as you walked to the office, arm in arm as per usual. You had to stop once to catch your breath and Matt sat with you on the bench, hand on your knee in comfortable silence.

After you had gotten to the office and up until lunch you had felt minor pains but nothing to be concerned about. It wasn’t until about 2pm that they got worse and you grew worried, but you still hadn’t caught Matt’s attention until a bad one hit you suddenly causing you to hiss through your teeth and clench your fists.

He got up from his desk and rushed to the doorway of his office.

“Are you okay?” He asked concerned.

“Uh-“ You thought about it for a few moments “Not really”

You knew Matt would be annoyed if you downplayed how you felt, he had been all over since you found out you were pregnant making sure you weren’t having any pains that were out of place and making you be almost too careful. Fortunately, you’d read about these pains, and you now had the task of quickly mentally preparing yourself for the coming hours.

“I’ll call Luke” Matt was ready for action immediately, pulling out his phone and finding Luke’s contact immediately.

Taxis were harder to come by after the blip and it was a jarring change for New York. The only person you and Matt knew who did drive was Luke, so he was always the go to if you needed a ride for a bit of a distance; and he had offered to call him anytime for the baby. Luke was outside the office not 10 minutes later ready to take the two of you to the hospital.

Matt would do anything for her, he had decided that the moment he got to hold her for the first time. She was his everything, two people in the world he would do anything for.

While you were sleeping that night, exhausted after all the effort that afternoon, he held her in his arms. Sat on the uncomfortable hospital couch he felt her warmth against his chest and listened to her tiny heartbeat. She was perfect, and he cried as he stroked her soft cheek with his finger.

His girls were everything to him. Two years ago his world collapsed and he thought he could never be happy again, he’d never be lucky enough to laugh or smile. But despite the many difficulties the day offered, he was content.

If he ever got to see Foggy and Karen again, he couldn’t wait to tell them everything.

You told him she was still mostly bald but there were whisps of dark hair covering her head, you joked she wasn’t done cooking enough to tell who she looked more like yet. Luke drove the three of you home two days later, not lingering too long so you could get settled.

Sleepless nights were tough on both of you, Matt didn’t get enough sleep as it was and now with a crying baby it was worse. But eventually you figured out a routine, and after two months of stumbling and sleepless nights the two of you found a way.

Saturday afternoon and you were finally getting around to doing the laundry you’d been putting off for two weeks, Mia propped up by some pillows at the head of your bed and unfolded clothes covering the foot of the bed. She was holding a toy in her hand that she would occasionally decide to chew on or wave around while music played in the background.

“Your father hates when I sing this one, rolls his eyes and everything, can you believe him?” You told Mia as you swayed your hips to the music while folding t-shirts.

She made a quiet cooing noise and you couldn’t help but smile. A few minutes passes of you humming and Mia watching you, content in between feeds and naps.

“Oh my god yes! Mia baby this is important stuff I expect you to remember this one” You said as the next song begun, one of your personal favourites.

The swaying hips very soon escalated into dancing around the bedroom as you folded clothes, Mia smiling at your antics only encouraging you further. You were getting lost in the music, and though you didn’t know it Matt was smiling from where he was washing dishes in the kitchen, attention focused completely on you in the other room.

Near the end of the song Mia waved her arms around a little, and you didn’t care if she was copying you or just doing her thing but it made you laugh anyway.

“That’s it baby, get into it!”

It wasn’t often you had the opportunity to sneak up on Matt, ears hearing you approaching from more than a block away, always making sure you’re safe. But every now and then you had a rare opportunity to, and it was always a gem to catch Matt off guard.

Today you had gone grocery shopping while Matt stayed home with Mia. You had returned from shopping, hearing Matt’s voice on the other side of the apartment door made you stop for a moment. You stood by the door, ear close to the gap trying to listen to what he was saying.

“Now it isn’t so bad, see? If I had known this is what you wanted in the first place we could’ve avoided a lot of stress, sweetheart”

A warmth blooms in your chest as a smile graces your face, a few moments of silence pass before you hear him speak again.

“Ah here we go, you like this one. You gotta learn to tell me this stuff, your mother says communication is important, y’know” He chuckled to himself.

Finally, you unlock the door and go into the apartment. Upon walking into the living area you find Mia lying on her tummy on the play mat, surrounded by toys within arm’s reach, and Matt lying on his stomach on the floor, chin resting on his arms facing Mia.

He greeted you the moment you walked in and you greeted back while putting the bags of groceries on the counter. You shrugged your jacket and shoes off and walked over to Matt and Mia, lying down right next to Matt, mirroring his position and facing Mia.

“Didn’t realise we all needed tummy time” You laughed, giving Matt a kiss on the cheek before leaning forward to kiss Mia on the forehead.

“This was what made her happy, who am I to argue” He shrugged his shoulders.

“You’re a sucker” You nudged him with your elbow.

“I might be” He laughed and hung his head.

Mia’s first birthday involved too much ice cream and cake, but Dani had insisted that after all the time she’d spent playing with Mia that she wanted ice cream and you didn’t have the heart to say no. She loved ripping the wrapping paper off of her gifts more than she liked the actual gifts, you made a note of that for when Christmas came around.

As she grew a whole corner of the office became a play area for her, and occasionally Dani. At first it was one corner, but as soon as she began walking unaided the whole office was hers to play in as far as she was concerned. Matt would often step on toys left lying around his office, muttering to himself in annoyance while putting it away. The conference room had become the nap room, and Mia enjoyed the walk between the office and home.

She often wanted to sit on yours or Matt’s lap while you worked, eager to bang on the computer keyboards and scribble on notepads. You caved and bought an old keyboard for her to play with, it meant she stayed off your lap a little longer, but not Matt’s.

Mia was a daddy’s girl through and through, and Matt would do anything for his little girl. His ears were always tuned in to the sound of ‘dada’ and always telling her she was perfect. You would often hear them having ‘conversations’ on his office, him telling her a story and she would babble back happily.

It was 1:30pm, you had put all work on hold to deal with Mia who refused to nap and was letting everyone else deal with the consequences. Matt was getting frustrated; she would cling to her dad when upset but he had work to do, and the crying child on the floor under his desk didn’t help with productivity. You were getting annoyed that she wasn’t being receptive to anything you did to calm her down and eventually gave up, bordering on tears yourself.

Despite the feelings of guilt Matt made you sit on the couch with him in his office and just leave Mia, she would cry herself tired. He reassured you that you weren’t a bad mother for letting it happen, and if she kept going then he would handle it. You leaned your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes, trying to relax even with the sound of crying filling the room. Matt rubbed your arm soothingly and sighed, leaning his head back against the wall.

The two of you hadn’t felt like this since the sleepless nights when Mia was a newborn, you’d gotten used to her good sleep schedule and generally good behaviour. Jess laughed that the ‘terrible twos’ was approaching, and you refused to believe your baby girl could be anything remotely near terrible. That was until today, when she wouldn’t nap and you were quickly running out of patience.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you came back to reality, thinking you had tuned out the crying you opened your eyes and took stock of the room around you. You lifted your head and looked at Matt who had a small smile on his face, looking relieved. It was then you clocked how quiet the room was.

“Is she-?” You whispered.

“Yep” He sighed in relief.

You got up from the couch and made your way over to the desk, crouching to peer underneath. Mia was curled up under Matt’s desk, dark hair pointing in all directions and cheeks still red from her meltdown. Other than the wet tears under her eyes she looked as peaceful as ever, and you felt the tension leave your shoulders.

Matt had gotten up and retrieved a blanket from the conference-slash-nap room to put over her. He joined you where you were crouched and carefully covered Mia with the blanket, then standing up and collecting his files. He sat on the couch and continued his work, while you went to make a cup of coffee, both of you pleased you could finally get some work done before going home for the day.

“I do it!”

“Okay okay, you can do it” Matt laughed as Mia tried to stir the pasta sauce by herself.

He had always preferred cooking when he had company to do it with, the two of you had loved cooking together since you first met. You weren’t chefs but Matt knew what tasted good and you had a knack for portioning pasta perfectly every time (Matt joked that it was your heightened sense). Now that Mia had come along, he had someone else to cook with who was always attached to his hip.

She attempted to stir the sauce, it being too thick for her small arms to handle and Matt sneakily helping her. Once a few stirs were done she clapped her hands and Matt gave her endless praises and cheek kisses, you couldn’t help but smile at them.

You had tried to feed her a mouthful, but she outright refused and said she could do it herself. It was at this point you realised she’d inherited Matt’s sense of independence, wanting to do everything on her own without any help. Trying to stop yourself from helping her when she was getting half the pasta sauce down her shirt was tough, and Matt’s giggles weren’t helping.

“Your daughter is becoming like you” You said to Matt while you both cleaned up after Mia had gone down to sleep for the night.

“Again with the my daughter, you had a hand in making her too y’know” He smiled, amused.

“She’s becoming stubborn, and refuses help. It’s sounding all too familiar, won’t be long until you’re teaching her how to throw a proper punch” You joke, rolling your eyes.

Matt walks up to you and puts his hands on your waist, pulling you close and kissing you with a smile on his face, and you can’t help but kiss back. Still giving you butterflies after all these years.

“You don’t have to worry about her, the way she plays with Dani, she’s inherited your kindness and empathy. Besides, I’m a good father so I won’t teach her how to throw a punch until she’s at least 5” He laughed again at this own joke while you just groaned and rolled your eyes.

Once his laughter has died down you kiss him on the cheek and begin walking towards the bathroom to have a shower.

“You’re lucky I love you, Mr Murdock”

“Very lucky indeed”

He quickly catches up to you and sweeps you off your feet, carrying you bridal style to the bathroom while you can’t help but giggle.

“Daddy!”

“Good morning sweetheart!”

Mia runs through the lounge room to the kitchen where Matt was getting her lunch ready. He takes a few steps forward to meet her and scoop her up in his arms when they meet. She wraps her arms around his neck while he holds her in a tight hug.

“Tell me what your outfit is today” He continues to hold her with one arm while getting food together with the other hand.

“Got a dress and boots”

“What colour are they?”

“Pink and blue, and pink!”

“As beautiful as always” He kisses her on the cheek before placing her back on the floor to run around the apartment for a little bit.

You walk into the kitchen to make coffee for you and Matt, giving him a kiss on the cheek and a quick good morning. The two of you start a discussion about the cases you’re currently working on and when the next court date is.

As you leave the apartment the glint of Matt’s red glasses on the shelf catches your eye, he hadn’t worn them in years. Right after the snap he was in such an awful place that wearing his glasses out was the least of his concerns, and it became a bit of a habit. Then when Mia came along, he didn’t want her remembering how he looked only with his glasses on, losing any reason to wear them daily.

On the walk from the apartment to the office Mia walks between the two of you, holding a hand each and skipping. Every few steps you and Matt lift her up by the arms and swing her, making her laugh loudly. Her laugh echoes down the otherwise quiet street, and you think you see someone on the other side of the street smile at the sound.

Halfway through the walk Mia begs to get on Matt’s shoulders and he can’t say no to his little girl, you mutter about how he’s a softie and he pretends to not hear you but reveals himself by rolling his eyes.

“Since its Friday did you wanna finish up early and head to the park for the afternoon?” You ask Matt, nearing the office.

“Yes park!” Mia cheered from her place up on Matt’s shoulders, her arms wrapped around his head, hands meeting on his forehead.

“Park sounds good” He turned his head towards you and smiled.

You reach the office building and Matt lifts Mia off of his shoulders, you begin making your way up the stairs, searching your bag for the keys to the office. Matt and Mia hung behind because Mia insisted Matt help her jump up every step.

Once the two of them had finally reached the office, Matt went to his desk as Mia tipped out her box of toys onto the floor and began rummaging through them all looking for something she wanted. You sat at the reception desk and opened your laptop, checking emails like any other day.

Today was a quiet day, not many emails and even fewer calls. It was mostly a day of research and helping Matt prepare for a court date the following week. Mia would interrupt to show you her drawings and you all took a break for lunch.

Mid-afternoon when the both of you were satisfied with how much work you’d gotten done that day began packing up the office, putting away files and leaving to-do lists for Monday. Matt walked out of his office and stood next to your desk, Mia was on the floor slowly putting her toys back into the box.

Suddenly, Matt started breathing heavily and bent over, having to hold onto the desk for support as if he’d just been hit in the gut. His eyes were wide and you were immediately concerned – you couldn’t lose him too.

“Matt, are you alright? What’s wrong?” You asked concerned, a hand on his arm and one on shoulder.

He turned his head towards you and the look on his face was worrying, a mix of horror and confusion. It made your blood go cold; the last time he looked like that the whole world came crashing down.

“Something’s happened” He breathed out, putting a hand on your arm and squeezing tight.

“Are you okay, dada?” Mia asked from her spot on the floor, confusion all over her face.

It was then you heard it, you heard everything; people yelling and screaming, cars honking, and sirens going off. Your legs almost gave way, your heart thundering in your ears and breathing becoming difficult as you try to comprehend what was happening.

Another breath left your lips, you squeezed your eyes shut and when you opened them there was another person in the room. Time seemed to stop, all the noises outside seemed to quiet as you took in the face of the person standing in front of you. Your voice had been ripped from you with the breath you had been holding, Matt was the one to speak first.

“Foggy?”

a/n: Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it and please let me know if you did <3 I could probably add some extra scenes in (or even write Karen and Foggy's return) so if you'd like to read more let me know and I might think about writing some more :) P.S: the 'important song' referenced about halfway through is Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer bc I LOVE that song.

[sunfish-studies]

Moonrise

✄・・・ Feathery Ink [Karasuno Manager Series]

➜ Pairing: Karasuno x Manager! Reader

➜ Warning: none

➜ Notes: This is a separate series from Crisp Leaves. Similar to Crisp Leaves, manager in this story will be portrayed as a girl. She will be tall. This is just my appreciation towards tall girls, you guys are amazing.

Previous:  ‹ Greed › | Next:  ‹ Illusionary Hero ›

↷ SUMMARY ↶

It’s finally summer vacation training camp!

After the fight, Hinata and Kageyama weren’t really talking to each other–Coach Ukai even separated them during practice, Hinata in team B while Kageyama in the other. When practice was over, Kageyama was working on his tosses with Yachi’s help while Hinata drive elsewhere with his bike to practice on his own.

“Ah, he’s with my grandpa.” You asked where on earth did Hinata go, and that’s your answer from Coach Ukai. Apparently, Hinata was training with the previous Coach Ukai at their home. That left you with managerial duties and some extras like buying supplies for the training camp.

The injury you received of course was noticeable by the team–it almost send both Tanaka and Nishinoya into rampage, but you quickly said it’s not a problem and it would heal in no time. While you could make up some excuse for Daichi, Sugawara, and Ennoshita, you couldn’t with Shimizu. With a stern look from, you finally spilled the beans and she promised not to tell anyone.

While Kageyama wasn’t talking to Hinata, he’s definitely talking to you more now–along with walking you home if you chose to stay at practice longer. With that, you learn more about him and how he’s undoubtedly a volley ball dork through and through.

The time you had to depart from school to Tokyo for the training camp at night, he offered to picked up from your house so you could walk together to school.

“C-can I sit next to you…?” the raven-haired boy asked. Of course, you agreed wholeheartedly since Yachi will be sitting next to Shimizu and sitting alone didn’t seem to be fun. At first, you talked about some mundane things and watched a few videos saved in your phone before falling asleep leaning to each other.

“KAGEYAMA!!”

“HOW DARE YOU STEAL A HEADSTART!”

And it incurred the wrath of both Tanaka and Nishinoya when they realized. Thankfully, Ennoshita was quick to shut them up by slapping them on the head and Daichi glared at them menacingly for causing a ruckus.

.

.

“Well, the grand guest finally arrived,” when you carried the big bag filled with your essentials outside the bus, it was immediately gone from your hands. Kuroo plucked it from your grip so he could carry it instead, sending you a small smile.

“Kuroo-san, it’s been a while.” Greeting the older boy, you stepped to the ground.

“It’s nice knowing you stick to your promise,”

“Well, it’s impossible for me to not join the training camp. And,” you looked up to the building upon the stairs. When it was in Nekoma High School before, this time training camp was held at different area–however, you didn’t complain because even during summer, the place was cool with many trees surrounding and breeze swept by. “Why are we in a different place? I thought it’s being held only in one place.”

Kuroo hummed. “It’s a tradition for training camp during summer vacation happened in Shinzen. This place is cool, so it’s great. Why? You wanted to be cooked under the sun instead?”

“I’d rather not.”

“Hinata! Did you grow any taller!? Oh! Otohaku-chan!! You’re looking pretty as always!!”

“Lev, shut up.” Kenma scolded.

.

.

“[NAME]-CHAN!! Make sure to cheer for me, alright!!”

“She won’t, Bokuto-san. And please don’t call her by her first name when she didn’t mention you could.”

Thank goodness, Akaashi had a say because you didn’t know how to reply that without wanting to upset Bokuto in the process. The first match was Karasuno against Fukurodani and it didn’t go well–your team splendidly didn’t sync because everyone went to try the new moves their practicing, resulting they had to take a new kind of penalty.

Along with Yachi, you watch as everyone sprinting uphill. And it didn’t happen only one time, every time they lost a match, they had to do one before walking down and downing their drinks. It went until the last practice–which they splendidly managed to lost.

“Hitoka-chan, could you look over Kageyama-kun and Hinata-kun in my place,” you whispered to your best friend, referring to the duo who’s clearly itching for practice but couldn’t exactly say it clearly as they still in bad terms with each other.

“Yeah! I was thinking about that too!” the two of you nodded in determination.

“Uhm, [Name]-san,” Yamaguchi called out to you, rubbing his nape sheepishly. “I want to practice serve, could you watch over?”

Smiling you nodded, “Sure Yamaguchi-kun! Let me get my notes first, okay?”

The taller boy blinked in confusion. “Eh? Notes? What for?”

“To look over your progress overall,” you kneeled down to put on your outdoor shoes. “I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

“O-oh, okay.” Yamaguchi could only reply that as he didn’t know how exactly–he knew he shouldn’t be flustered or feeling special, but he couldn’t help to feel warmth bloom in his chest. He knew you were an attentive person, and it’s nice to know that applied to everyone on the team even though you’re mostly stick with Kageyama, Hinata, or Yachi.

Jogging towards the sleeping quarters, you could’ve arrived faster to pick up your notebook if Bokuto’s call didn’t halt you from doing so.

“OOH!! [NAME]-CHAN!!” he called out from the third gym. You noticed that he wasn’t alone, Kuroo and Akaashi’s also there and surprisingly Tsukishima. From that, you concluded that Kuroo must have something to do with it–probably taunting the blonde into joining. “Could you throw us some balls!?”

“Eh?” you blinked. “But, I have to get some notes for practice-“

“Just a few, come on!” Bokuto didn’t even give you a chance to explain–instead, he dragged you by the wrist.

So here you were, arranging an apology speech for Yamaguchi while throwing some balls for Akaashi to set. That and giving Lev some glances to check if he’s still alive or not on the floor. The setter already apologized to you in Bokuto’s place, but you immediately dismissed it since you didn’t mind either.

“Geh!? Otohaku-chan!?” Lev must be exhausted seeing as he barely noticed you’re in the same area.

It amazed you on how Bokuto still managed to kill the spikes viciously after series of practice match all day–his stamina is top-notch, nothing less from one of the best players in the country. Watching Bokuto’s spikes meaning also watching Tsukishima tried to block them.

Not once did he managed to successfully shut one out, but with Kuroo’s finally joining the cross was killed almost in an instant. While Bokuto is a formidable opponent in attacking, then Kuroo would be terrifying in defense. No wonder Coach Ukai was making him a great example for a solid blocker.

Tsukishima is indeed smart and calm as he read the opponent’s movement, but,

“Your blocks are pretty weak.” You flinched as Bokuto blurted out what you had in mind regarding Tsukishima’s block–and it sure pissed the taller blonde off. “Your arms are so frail that I’m scared I’m gonna break them. You need to stop the ball like you mean it!”

“I’m still a growing boy!” Tsukishima replied, clearly trying to hide his annoyance. “I’ve just started gaining muscles and getting taller!”

“Talk like that, and the little shrimp is gonna hog all the glory.” Kuroo remarked. “You guys play the same position, right?”

Ouch, you couldn’t help but thought. That hits the sore spot.

“I don’t think it can be helped,” Tsukishima said with a smile after a few seconds of silence. “The difference in natural talent between me and Hinata is too great.”

Before Kuroo could argue, the players of Nekoma began piling into the gym and Tsukishima finally managed to excuse himself successfully this time.

“Looks like you stepped on a mine, Kuroo-san,” Akaashi commented.

“You pissed him off,” Bokuto dragged. “At long last, Kuroo-kun, the master of provocation, has failed.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have thought that.” The black-haired captain sighed.

“Thought what?” Bokuto questioned.

“Karasuno’s shrimp is definitely strange and a threat, but in terms of technique and experience he’s like a baby bird. Plus, he’s really short. I never would’ve thought guy with glasses, who’s far taller and much smarter, wouldn’t only think they’re not equal but actually think the shrimp is above his level.”

Sighing for the second time, he rubbed the back of his head before giving you an apologetic look. “Sorry, I pissed off your middle blocker.”

“I don’t think you pissed him off,” you couldn’t exactly say that it’s fine because it’s not your place to do so. “But you did hit a sore spot, Kuroo-san.”

“Otohaku-san, shouldn’t you get going? We’ve hold you long enough from you whatever you want to do.” Akaashi reminded.

“That’s right, then I’ll excuse myself.” You bowed down and walked towards the exit–you immediately retrieve your note before finally helping Yamaguchi with his serves after being held for some time.

.

.

The next day, you’re helping Eri, Kaori, and Yukie cutting watermelons given by the parents from Shinzen High School. Surely, on this hot summer, sweet and cool watermelons would make anyone’s mouth began watering. It was also a great short break for the boys as they enjoy the watermelon while sitting on the grassy hill beside the gym.

“Do you want extras, senpai?” and just like other managers, you distributed the watermelons while asking if the boys wanted seconds or not. This time, you’re offering a few that’s still on your tray to Tanaka, Daichi, and Asahi.

“Ooh, don’t mind if I do, [Name]-chan!” Tanaka reached out for another slice.

“Me too,” after him, Daichi also took a slice from your tray.

“I’m okay with mine for now,” Asahi politely rejected your offer. “How about you eat some too? It’s quite a hot day.”

“I’ll go it after everyone’s seconds are done,” you remarked, intending to circle around the separate crowds for the nth time but Tanaka quickly interrupted.

“Everybody has their share already! I’m sure they don’t mind.” Your upperclassman commented. “Besides, our beautiful manager deserves to have rest!”

“Somehow, it doesn’t correlate…” Asahi muttered, smiling nervously.

At the end, you ended up sitting down beside Asahi and munching on a slice of watermelon. Your upperclassman was right for one thing–enjoying the fruit in a hot summer day was a great way to cool down, you instantly felt refreshed.

“Sorry, by the way.” The four of you looked up to the call, seeing Kuroo approaching and out of blue apologizing. Surely, your upperclassmen were confused with this except you.

“About what?” Daichi questioned.

“I think I might have pissed off your glasses guy yesterday.”

“What?”

To make it clearer, the cat captain sat down with his back towards you and began explaining the situation occurred the other day–you admired how both parties didn’t once interrupt nor getting things heated up, they knew this wasn’t something big and could be resolved by just a simple apology.

“Wow… Tsukishima actually helped out with free practice even if you cornered him into it,” Daichi hummed in understanding.

“Your manager too, but that’s Bokuto’s idea,” you didn’t know why on earth Kuroo decided to brough it up but seeing your upperclassmen were nonchalant about it (except maybe Tanaka, though he was quickly being shut up by Daichi) it’s also not a big deal.

“So, what did you say?”

“I provoked him and said he was going to lose to your shrimp over there.”

“I’ve definitely noticed that Tsukishima seems to feel inferior to Hinata somehow.” Asahi remarked, probably remembering a few words Tsukishima said to him.

“I’m not sure if this is relevant, but my sister mentioned someone tall named Tsukishima also joined the volleyball team during the Little Giant times.” Tanaka mentioned, surely this is new to all of you because Tsukishima wasn’t the type of person who talks about himself much.

Daichi’s head perked up. “Tsukishima has an older brother?”

“Oh, I’m not sure.” Tanaka quickly replied. “They could’ve just had the same last name and not be related. Do you know anything about this, [Name]-chan?”

“I don’t, but if I know, I think it’s not my place to tell since Tsukishima-kun would undoubtedly be annoyed because of it,” you answered, which made Tanaka hummed in agreement.

“Hey, we’re about to start!” Sugawara called out.

You didn’t know about Tsukishima having a sibling or not, however,

“This is just a club. Why do you put so much into it? It’s because you put so much into it that you suffer later.”

You couldn’t help but think it’s somehow related to what he muttered the night before.

.

.

Yet again when the sky softly bathed in orange glow, Karasuno had to pay their losing with penalty–you along with Yachi and Shimizu also Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai watched as the boys bolted uphill accompanied by yelling (well, this was mostly Hinata, Kageyama, Tanaka, and Nishinoya).

“Here,” you offered a water bottle for Kageyama. He couldn’t even reply a ‘thank you’ from how harshly he was panting and you could only sympathize with him–more than five matches in a day plus penalties were rough.

“Thanks,” the raven-haired boy finally rasped after downing probably a half of the water from the bottle. You also handed him a towel so he could wipe away the sweat dripping down from his temple.

“So, how’s training going?” you finally asked, which triggered a sighed from him.

“No progress.” The frustration was getting to him definitely–while you were only watching for some time since Yachi’s already there to help him, you understood that Kageyama failed more than he succeeded. He knew he was getting nowhere and time was short, if he’s not geared up it will be a problem.

“I can’t give you any helpful advice but I think you should practice under Coach Ukai’s watch,” you mentioned, and Kageyama listened carefully. “He probably has ways that could help you. You couldn’t do this on your own Kageyama-kun, you need guidance.”

Nodding firmly, he replied. “Yeah.”

“I can’t wait to see your toss,” you then added, giving him a smile. “It’s going to be amazing for sure. You did pinpoint toss to Hinata all this time.”

The boy fell silent for a while, and you almost regretted saying those words–did you somehow step on a landmine? Did you piss him off? Did you touch the nerve-

“I promise to get done and you’ll see it.” The negative thoughts were gone from your mind as you stare at those blue eyes filled with determination. You found yourself smiling at his promise.

“I will be waiting then.”

.

.

“Sensei, what do you think of Tsukishima?” Coach Ukai asked your advisor while the five of you were watching the match between Karasuno and Ubugawa.

“I think he’s taking this seriously,” Takeda-sensei answered, although rather confused from the question.

“How about you, Otohaku?” and you didn’t expect to be involve in the conversation also.

“Uhm… he’s doing his work, but lack of effort? I think he’s not giving his all.” you replied but somehow became an unsure question in the end.

“You’re right,” Coach Ukai remarked. “I feel like Tsukishima gets a passing grade but never tries for 100%. I’m not asking for him to become more passionate, but if he’s not going to give his all, I’m gonna have to change regulars. I need players who can win a match on the court. He’s the tallest and essential to the team. If Tsukishima could become a strong blocker, our defense level would go up a lot.”

“I see,” Takeda-sensei nodded in understanding.

Not long into the game after Tsukishima served, there’s a collision between Daichi and Nishinoya for the ball–at first, it was nerve-wracking because if one of them was hurt it could be bad. However, seeing that the two dismissed it as if it was nothing was relieving.

“Everyone’s so motivated.” Yachi commented.

“Everyone’s more motivated now than I’ve ever seen them before,” Shimizu frowned in worry. “But sometimes it’s almost scary. Collisions like the other day can definitely lead to major injuries.”

Another spike went through but received perfectly by Kageyama, the ball bounced to the air and Tanaka was the second one to get it, passing it immediately to Asahi.

“It’s a little short,” you muttered, noticing the ball was hovering near the net–exactly to where Hinata was. From how he’s staring at it, he’s most likely to steal it–but then he tensed up, snapped his head to the side to give Asahi a stare and stayed in his place in the end.

“Let him know the ball is yours.”

You stared as Asahi successfully killed the ball even with three blockers–grinning from how he stole a score and holding them team together so it wouldn’t become lawless. The attempt was enough for you to let your shoulders relaxed.

“Maybe I didn’t need to worry after all.” Shimizu sighed in relief.

Asahi turned to face you, giving you a smile and an outstretched fist–you immediately returned it with the exact same gesture.

[kurinoot]

[day 2] two tempting bentos | ushijima wakatoshi

-> being the manager of a powerhouse school sure adds pressure, but you’re there to prove to them that you are the right person for the job, especially to a certain well-known ace

pairing: ushijima x reader

themes: fluff, manager!y/n, neither one of them has feelings for each other (yet!), continuation on white day special, slow burn (?)

word count: 2256 words

author’s note: sorry if I had to post this one late, as my dysmenorrhea was keeping me from working well (+ a bit of writer’s block) and I had to had this one proofread lol :( I hope you enjoy this one and drop any comments (and constructive ones) if you have one! also, thank you for a couple members of the hq discord server (I don’t know their un :() who willingly beta-ed (if that’s even a word lmao) this one.

Thankfully, it was already lunch time, as the grumbling of your empty stomach finally prompts you to walk to the school cafeteria. On the way, you unconsciously pat your stomach as you finally feel the reverberations and the consequence of the lack of breakfast for today. As soon as you arrive, you immediately take notice of two familiar figures on a nearby table. One of them is already waving at you like one of those wacky inflatable tubes that you closely associate him with, which brings a growing smile on your face.

“Ah L/N-chan! Wanna come sit with us?” Tendou giddily invites you and ushers you to the vacant space beside him, which you replied with an eager nod, sitting beside him.  With Ushijima sitting in front of both of you, you took notice of him who seems to be occupied with drawing something, which piques your interest.

“I never knew you could draw, Ushijima-san!”, you initiated, surprised.

“Yeah. I drew quite frequently as a child,” he replies with his usual deep voice, looking stoic with eyes and hands still occupied with the drawing. Somewhat mesmerized by the sight and view of the ace drawing, you kept watching as it slowly unraveled before your eyes, seemingly forgetting that you haven’t eaten even a single bite of food throughout the day.

Tendou sardonically interrupts, “Manager-chan, you better eat if you don’t want to keep your stomach from waiting!”, which cuts your train of thought (and apparently your daunting stare at Ushijima’s drawing). He ushers a tray of his remaining food to your direction, to which you thank him for, albeit the embarrassment of not being able to bring your own lunch for the day. You quickly fold your hands and utter an “Itadakimasu!” before you began ravishing the remaining food, much to the pair’s dismay.

“So L/N-chan!”

“Hmm?”, you hum in reply; your mouth still chewing on the food you’re eating.

Tendou then inclines himself onto the table, with his chin resting on the back of his hands and smirking with narrowed eyes at your direction, “Have you made preparations for today’s training?”.

You almost choke on your food, with eyes bulging the moment he reminds you of your managerial duties as Tendou knowingly cackles in response. Ushijima however, despite the playful banter happening in front of him, was still focused on finishing his artwork, much to your chagrin and much to Tendou’s entertainment (despite getting used to it). 

“If you are only playing around as a manager, then you do not deserve to be our manager”

Both you and Tendou stop, with both of your attention drawing to Ushijima, who has now stopped scribbling and is now looking at the both of you, particularly you.

You blankly stare at him in shock, somewhat speechless, “”E-Eh?”.

“You need to stop fooling around and do your duties as our manager.”

Tendou, who seems to feel a little bit of unnecessary tension between you and the captain, can only look consecutively between you and him. He tries his best to somewhat support you by putting both of his hands on your tired shoulders, to no avail. He tries to casually interject, “Wakatoshi-kun! L/N-chan probably just hasn’t rested well today!”

“Besides”, you start, prompting the two boys to look at your direction.

“Everybody makes mistakes, and it’s not like I haven’t done my job properly!”, you end as you seek to prove the ace wrong and to show that you have been doing well as the manager of a powerhouse school for the past two years. With that said, Ushijima scornfully looks at you as he resorts back, choosing not to retort back as to not attract unnecessary attention.

The entirety of the conversation has somehow left an air of slight tension between you two, as a pregnant pause engulfs your table afterwards. What started out as a casual lunch had ended in unnecessary tension and silence. Tendou can only do so much as he tries to break the ice to try and stop the tension from developing into something worse.

“Oi, oi! See you later! Good luck with that, Wakatoshi-kun”, he exclaims, gun pointing at his best friend whose only response was a deep, guttural hum. He then glances at you. Still dazed from the events earlier, you did not get what Tendou meant as he winked at you knowingly before he wiggled himself out of the cafeteria, leaving you alone with Ushijima.

“Look, if you’re not doing well, how are you supposed to do your duties?”, Ushijima reminds you as he starts cleaning up his things to prepare for the next class as well as for the training later on. Speechless and dazed, you can only nod in response as he calmly leaves the table, leaving you alone clenching your fist and thinking.

I’m going to do my job and I’m going to prove him wrong!

After a couple of days did you only realize that it’s already Valentines’ season and you know how much your friends are endlessly talking about making chocolates to give to their crushes as well as the girls in your class. You have been thinking for a while now of what to give the team as a gift just to celebrate the day in your own way as well as show your love to the boys. Then it got your mind reeling of numerous gift ideas.

“Y/N! Lunch is ready!”, you hear your mother call you from downstairs.

That’s it! I’ll prepare bento for them!, you thought out immediately, somehow thanking your mother in silence for giving you an idea in the right moment. You then blast out of your room with excitement, rushing downstairs to eat as well as ask for your mom’s guidance for your Valentines’ gift for the boys.

After a couple of attempts later, you were at least finally able to create a decent onigiri that brought you tears of joy, as you finally feel the worth of God-knows-how-many attempts. Your mother, who has been guiding you, clapped her hands in happiness as she shares the same sentiment.

A few days later, as it approaches Valentines’ Day, you decide to bring them each an onigiri as well as freshly-brewed tea to at least help them rejuvenate after training (and because you believed that it’s best to prove your worth as a manager).

Classes have just ended, so you gently pick up the onigiris that you’ve made as well as a big thermos of warm tea as well as the reusable cups and then make your way to the gym. To no surprise, you see Ushijima, who has already changed into his training uniform, already warming up while waiting for the others. He seems to notice your presence as he hears the shuffling sound of a plastic bag as well as the rattling of the cups. You continuously walk towards the nearby bench where Coach Washijo was already waiting, who then sees the food and drink you’re carrying.

“Ah, I’ve made some food and tea for them after!”, you say the moment you saw the coach’s eyes went to the food and thermos. Washijo only smiles at your outburst, somehow seeing your intent as the manager.

Meanwhile, you unknowingly feel Ushijima’s stare at you as you feel a sharp shiver in your spine and a sudden flutter and racing in your heart beat, which was somehow an entirely new feeling for you. Only then you turned around and saw the ace staring at you, with intentions somehow unclear to you.

I must be palpitating, I think, you thought to yourself, dismissing the fluttering feeling in your heart. You have already made sure that your main priority as the manager is to only do your duties to support the boys and nothing more beyond that. 

You dismiss everything and you just went back to your daily managerial routine, setting aside the food and tea you prepared as well as helping to mop the floor free from sweat and all.

After the training, you immediately bring up the bag of onigiri that you’ve made, which caught the attention of the other members, Goshiki in particular.

“”Woah! L/N-senpai brought us food!”, the budding ace exclaims as he quickly grabs his share of the food from your hands. You then distribute the other onigiris to the others, up until there are two pieces left. A smiling Tendou and a stoic Ushijima then walk towards you, with you already giving them the remaining food, to which they accept.

With that, you then start preparing the cups, pouring each with warm tea and giving it to each of the members. While pouring another one, you hear Tendou and Ushijima talking while they’re munching, somehow leaving you eavesdropping on the two.

“So how does it taste, Wakatoshi-kun?” Tendou asks his friend as he munches into his own food, to which his stoic friend bluntly replies with “It’s not good”, leaving you disappointed which made Tendou cackle in amusement.

The alarm of your phone rang early in the morning, prompting you to wake up, slightly scrubbing your eyes, and check your phone.

It’s already Valentines’ Day.

You already know that it might initially cause a stir within some of the boys, as Valentines is often seen as gift-giving only for intimate purposes, but you wanted to show how much you love them as your manager as well as be able to show your support for them, and you felt that preparing them bentos would be the best way to showcase it.

You were glad to wake up early, as you were able to prepare each bento just in time for you to prepare yourself for school. You smile in accomplishment as you comb your hair to finish organizing yourself before you go to school.

“Are you sure you can carry them?”, your mother asks with concern, especially after seeing your effort in making a bunch of them.

You sigh in assurance, “Mom, I’m the manager of a powerhouse school. I can do this!”.

After class has ended, you immediately went straight to the gym to prepare for today’s training as well as prepare the bentos for the boys. To your surprise, even the early bird Ushijima was not yet there, which gave you more time to prepare and even rest before they arrived.

A few minutes later, the team has scrambled together into the gym, only to find you napping on the bench. Everyone slowly steps closer to you except Ushijima, who only stood still, hoping to not disturb your nap. Up until the rest of the team noticed what seemed to be bento boxes stacked together did they stop for a while and took interest in it.

Semi somehow gets ahold of one of the boxes, “Eh? They’re bento boxes.”, he hushes. He then examined the one he’s holding when he noticed a sticky note attached on the top. He reads, “Happy Valentines’ Day, Semi-san! With love, L/N-san”.

Initially, the team took it as a sign of confession, as they have knowledge of the special day today. Only did they find something else when Goshiki sees another box with the same sticky note message attached to it, only this time it belonged to him.

“L/N-san’s giving us Valentines’ bento?!”, Goshiki finally realizes, as the other members of the team finally went to check and see theirs. Tendou, in particular, laughs at the thought, not before he finds his designated box with the same sticky note message, immediately taking interest in it. 

Ushijima, who notices the silent onslaught on the bento boxes, finally decides to step forward. Tendou, who has become immersed in his own box, sees his best friend approach and then decides to pick up his box and then gives it to him.

“Here’s yours, Wakatoshi-kun!”, Tendou stirred as he hands out Ushijima’s designated bento box, or boxes rather. Ushijima accepts it, and right off the bat he notices the yellow sticky note attached with his name on it along with a mandatory ‘Happy Valentines Day!’ as well as your name. He gently opens the warm box and goes to see tamagoyaki and sausage octopuses on the side, and much to his internal delight, was a bed of Hayashi rice sitting nicely on the large portion of the box. He then goes to check the other box underneath to see a mix of steamed vegetables and a couple of pieces of sushi beside it.

Everyone was so immersed in their own bento box that they did not notice you waking up from your light slumber, and much to your shock, you wake up to see them already eating with happy smiles on their faces. Only then did they notice you awake when they hear you move from the bench.

“So, do you guys like it?”, you shyly asked whilst rubbing your eyes from your light slumber, only to find the entire team facing you with serious faces after scrubbing. Goshiki, the ever enthusiastic budding ace, praises you, “We love it, L/N-san!”.

You look around to see everyone eating their own lunches, and much to your shock, you actually see Ushijima eating the food and immersing himself in the bento boxes that you made for him. Somehow, Tendou looks at the both of you in amusement, taking note of the prior events. He then internally smirks on the possible development that is happening before his eyes.

Happy ‘Valentines’ Day, indeed, he thinks as he continues munching on his bento.

back to valentines’ masterlist

[biconderoga]

Sugar Sweet Lies || Side Story: The Times He Wished it wasn’t Fake

Masterlist: Please read after the original story, there are spoilers!!

Word Count: 1,677!!

Taglist: @alittlebitofrain @tatir0ckz @imahoe-shi @darling-daydreaming @tanchosanke @rosecarft-lollipop @envyusshades @samie-babie @mel-goes-unknown @shhhspect @1987hotschott @kleinbluu @hobobob38-blog @pantasticalcat @stargirlara @hihosilvers @queen-seren @dekustowel @ayocee @chaichai-the-weeb @ziry-doza @daninaninani @elianetsantana @tearsforhan @rogueofbullshit @spotlesspeaceofmind @daylightari @menina-ostra @a-moon-fairy @alienvarmint @mysticspacecat @mirikusashes @marshmellowfluff221 @myeggodied @miracleboy420 @simpforkurootetsu @timeskipiwaizumi @doctorcelina @nekomasbrain @ptv-hades @semiathleticnerdykid @iloveyouasmuchaspoohloveshoney @bakuhoetoedoroki @daisukesheels @prettyinblack231 @heyyourecute @panwuthaplan @nofuckignway @valrubiii @cadenzie

Tendou Satori was not a man in high demand. He was lanky, had unnervingly large eyes, and obnoxious red hair. Typically, these weren’t qualities that girl’s looked for. In fact, it was the opposite…his qualities were perfect to scare girls off.

He knew it, and hated it…yet he masked his pain with an air of nonchalance. As time went on, he took these comments and used them to his advantage. On the volleyball court, he was feared for his looks. And he was damn proud of it…nothing could top the defeated looks his enemies gave him.

With a newly found passion in volleyball, life carried on for Tendou. All seemed to go well, and he even met one of his closest friends, Ushijima. His life fell into a repetitive cycle that was in no way hated. Tendou, for the first time in a while, was content.

However, several months into his third-year, rumors began to spread of a new student. The student hadn’t necessarily piqued his interest, as it wasn’t uncommon for Shiratorizawa to receive transfer students. The academy was a reputable school, so it would be no surprise if the student just wanted to look good on their transcript.

It wasn’t until Tendou found out this student was the new volleyball manager that he actually took interest. Ushijima had introduced her as Y/N L/N, a rather famous model. At the time, Tendou hadn’t personally met Y/N…but he was already starting to dislike her. Models were beloved by many for their looks, and it ticked him off. It wasn’t fair that people got paid for their looks while he got bullied for his! Call it pretty privilege at its finest.

However, Tendou didn’t show his distaste for her. It would be too unlike him, Tendou was supposed to be carefree and happy! He wasn’t going to let some dumb model ruin his image. But he would put her in her place. After hearing that Y/N was a former volleyball player, Tendou thought he’d beat her in at least one thing. Tendou wasn’t pretty, but he was petty.

Tendou prided himself in being Shiratorizawa’s ‘guess monster’, yet Y/N was still able to spike through him. It hurt his pride like a bitch…and even more so when Y/N began to purposefully avoid him. So, he did what anyone would do! Annoy her.

Getting on Y/N’s nerves was enjoyable for Tendou. He would do it at any given chance, and Y/N loathed him for it. A new cycle was set in place for Tendou…study, practice, annoy Y/N then repeat.

It was no wonder Tendou jumped at the opportunity to blackmail Y/N; it was a perfect way to annoy her! Anime was something that was often classified as weird, so when he caught famous model Y/N cosplaying…Tendou wanted to share with the volleyball club. He hadn’t thought Y/N would be so vehemently against it, but he did not mind one bit. So the redhead channeled his inner devil and arranged a deal.

Tendou just never thought his mischievous plan would lead to him actually catching feelings. There where five different scenarios in which Tendou wished it wasn’t fake.

The first time was about a month into the ‘relationship’. Y/N was still as cold as ever, but Tendou felt like he was making progress. Just barely, but that progress was there if you squinted. That day they had walked into practice holding hands, just as they had done for the past month. Y/N departed from Tendou for some managerial duties, while Tendou skipped off to stretch.

Practice continued as usual, and Tendou found himself staring at Y/N during a break. She was hunched over laughing at something Semi had said. She was adorable to him (He’d never admit it out loud, especially since he was still bitter that she was a model). Her eyes crinkled in the cutest way, while her smile was bright. At that moment Tendou thought, ‘that’s my girlfriend, not anyone else’s mine!’.

“Jesus Tendou, please stop with the loveydovey look.” Shirabu nudged Tendou, “Y/N get your boyfriend!”

The model stopped laughing, and her happy smile was replaced with a fake one. Suddenly Tendou remembered, she wasn’t his…and she still despised him. Her eyes said it all, she would strangle him if she could. It hurt, but Tendou could still indulge in his little fantasy.

The second time Tendou wished it wasn’t fake was when Y/N first let down her walls. The whole fiasco with Y/N’s fanboys came and went, and now Y/N saw Tendou in a different light. Instead of the monster she usually saw, Y/N saw Tendou for what he really was: a person who wanted to be accepted.

Tendou poured his feelings into his apology to Y/N. It wasn’t fair of him to assume all attention was positive and wanted. Nor was it fair of him to annoy Y/N simply because he hated her job. Hell, if he were good-looking he’d love to get paid for his looks. His apology was thankfully accepted, and Y/N requested they started over as friends.

Her genuine smile made Tendou wish she wanted more from him. If only the feeling was mutual…

Yet, Tendou didn’t pursue his feelings further. Y/N finally treated him as a valued friend, and Tendou didn’t want to trade that for the world. A warm feeling flooded his chest whenever she talked to him. He didn’t want to risk anything for some pesky feelings. He didn’t want to go back to the days where all girls avoided him like the plague (although they still did, but he didn’t want Y/N to join them again).

The third time Tendou wished it wasn’t fake was when they had snuck off the night before interhigh preliminaries. At that point in time they were close friends. Tendou even considered Y/N to be his second best friend (after Ushijima of course)! That night had been spent goofing off with the volleyball club. Tendou, who had wanted to push his luck, invited Y/N for a little sleepover. It was an innocent request, they could watch anime until they fell asleep! And to his surprise Y/N agreed. That night was a treasured memory for Tendou. They watched anime to their hearts content as they pigged on snacks. The cherry on top of the night was when Y/N feel asleep next to him.

Thank god she couldn’t see how red his face got. Tendou had seen this scene play out in many different animes…but it was completely different living it out. She was just so close. Sneakily, Tendou wrapped his arm around her waist. If by any chance she woke up, he could say he subconsciously cuddled up to her warmth! (Although it was warming up outside, so that excuse would not be as convincing) Or he could just say he was afraid of her falling!

Yep, perfect! It totally wasn’t just him pretending to snuggle up to his ‘girlfriend’. Totally.

The fourth time Tendou wished it was real was when he nearly popped a blood vessel because of Terushima’s insistent flirting. Even if he was only a fake boyfriend, Tendou was livid. Who in their right mind would flirt with a taken girl? Right, Terushima would!

He had seen what Y/N’s fanboys were capable of, but the volleyball captain was on another level. He had cut Y/N’s escape off, and when Tendou introduced himself…Terushima told him to piss off. If that wasn’t bad, he completely ignored Y/N’s pleas to back off. Now that was the last straw.

Tendou felt something snap within him. He grabbed the collar of Terushima’s jersey and told him to stay away from his girl. She was off the market, and if Terushima couldn’t understand that Tendou would make sure to ingrain it into his thick skull. If only that snitch Goshiki hadn’t called Ushijima.

To make Tendou’s sour mood even worse, Y/N had reminded him they weren’t a real couple. In his moment of anger he completely forgot. They weren’t official, so he had no right to call Y/N his girl. With a heavy heart, Tendou had told her not to think anything of it. He was just trying to get Terushima to lay off.

The fifth and final time he wished it was real was at the interhigh preliminary finals. Shiratorizawa was pitted against Seijoh, and after a draw out game, they had won.

Usually when Tendou would win games he’d relish in the defeated looks of his enemies or even run up to Ushijima. This time, however, Tendou immediately turned to find Y/N. Had she seen the final plays? Did she think he looked cool? Was she proud of him?

All of his common sense flew out the window when she saw her excited smile. Like moths drawn to a flame they both sprinted to each other; Tendou was surprised he had much energy to run left after playing a straight game, but he supposed he still had adrenaline pumping through his veins. When they finally reached each other, a magnetic force pulled their lips together.

Tendou had kissed a volleyball a few times, courtesy of Ushijima’s spikes, but nothing could have prepared him for Y/N’s lips. They were soft from excessive use of cherry lip balm. What’s more, is that they melded perfectly against Tendou’s chapped lips. Like the final piece to a puzzle. But what really made it perfect was that she kissed back. After months of faking feelings, did this mean Y/N had developed some real ones?

Yet before Tendou could form a single thought, wolf whistles interrupted their kiss. There where a few comments about Tendou graduating from Mr. Virgin Lips. Even Seijoh’s setter was squealing dramatically, though he was interrupted by the team’s ace. Y/N, who had just realized what she had done, yelped and excused herself for some managerial duties.

The kiss had ended just as soon as it started, but Tendou was still on cloud nine. That kiss had to have meant something to Y/N! Hope found itself in Tendou. Maybe, just maybe, he would get the real thing. Finally, Tendou would be able to stop wishing it wasn’t fake.

[woah-were-halfway-there]

Along For The Ride.

Word Count: 10.9k

There was just something about the off-season that Carson loved. But realistically, how could she not? 

The weather was warm. Carson got to spend loads of time with her loving fiancé seeing as he wasn't busy playing hockey. She could even work from home during it all after landing her managerial position around six months earlier. It was a pretty great setup if Carson was honest. 

However, this summer wasn't as peaceful as it had been years prior. 

It was the beginning of July. Carson and Auston had been back in Scottsdale for no more than a few days, and it was pretty lowkey. Like always, it took Carson a bit of time adjusting to not being at her home in Toronto. However, this specific year was even more difficult because she was insanely sick. 

She wasn't feeling the greatest leading up to their departure from Ontario, which was part of why she and Auston were so late leaving once the season had concluded. Almost every morning, for about a week and a half, Carson woke up at an ungodly hour with the need to vomit. 

She convinced herself it was just a bug of some sort or the flu, seeing as some days she wasn't as sick as others. Auston, however, thought it was a bit more severe than that. But, he gave Carson her space because she knew her body best and rescheduled their flights from Toronto until finally, she felt well enough to travel. 

Carson's first night back in Arizona was fine. The second, however? Not so much. 

After a lowkey day relaxing by the pool with her fiancé and cuddling with their almost fully grown puppy, Frank, Carson, and Auston had plans to go over to his parent's house for the evening. 

Seeing as Carson and Auston got engaged during Christmas and didn't have much time to spend with family because of Auston's hockey schedule, they never really got to celebrate the engagement with his family due to how rushed their last visit was. So, Ema took it upon herself to cook a massive meal for the whole family as a way to congratulate the two of them once they were back in Arizona for the summer. 

It was nice, too, because Carson has always been relatively close with Auston's family. Ema and Brian considered her to be like a third daughter, while Alex and Breyana welcomed her with open arms and accepted her as someone else they could plot against their brother with. Carson really did love spending time with them, so she was pretty excited about this dinner. 

But then things didn't go as planned. 

Once Carson and Auston arrived and were greeted by Auston's family, Carson was ushered away so that Ema, Alex, and Bre could all catch up with her while Auston went off with his dad to look at something in the backyard. 

Carson was telling Alex how work was going as they walked into the kitchen but then was met by a scent that made her stomach churn so intensely that she had no other choice but to bolt to the nearest washroom. 

Concerned over what had just happened with Carson, Auston's mom and sisters followed after her to make sure she was alright. Once she was done throwing up, Carson apologized to them for just running off as Bre grabbed her some Listerine to rinse her mouth out with, and Ema handed her a glass of water. 

"I really thought this sickness was passing," Carson sighed as the four of them made their way back to the kitchen. 

"Do you know what's wrong?" Alex asked while climbing onto one of the barstools at the island. 

"Not a clue," Carson shrugged and sat between Alex and Bre after Ema refused her help with dinner. "Thought that I might've eaten something that didn't agree with me, but I've been sick for well over a week now."

"Have you consistently not been feeling well?" Ema asked as she rinsed off some vegetables and glanced up to her future daughter-in-law. "Auston was saying you'd wake up sick most days and, for some of them, couldn't even get out of bed because of how nauseous you felt."

"Yeah, it's been pretty weird," Carson explained. "Aus has been trying to get me to go to the doctors, and I really should have before we left Toronto, but yesterday and the day before, I felt fine and didn't get sick once. I don't know. Something I smelt as we were walking in here just did not hit me well, I guess, which is strange because you know how much I love your cooking Ema."

Auston's mother smiled at Carson's comment as she turned off the running water and looked away thoughtfully as if debating something. 

"Mom, what're you thinking?" Bre asked with a pointed gaze. 

"Nothing!" She replied. "I'm just wondering." 

"About what?" Alex pressed, causing Ema to sigh. 

"Carson, sweetheart, please do not take this the wrong way or that I'm assuming anything," Ema started and looked at Carson. "Just from what you've told me, it got me thinking about how sensitive to smell I was when I was pregnant with these two and Auston. It's common in expectant mothers, as is morning sickness… Do you think pregnancy could be a possibility of what this is?"

Carson's instinctive response was to say no. She didn't think she was pregnant. She and Auston were always so careful, but before she replied, she got thinking. 

There's always the possibility of a slip-up, and Carson knew that. She also knew a bit about the symptoms of being pregnant, such as morning sickness and sleepless nights, but then she began thinking about her period and how it had been over a month, maybe two, since she last had it. That's when her eyes widened in shock.

"Oh my..." Carson gasped and covered her mouth as tears began pricking her eyes. "I'm late. I'm so late."

 Alex and Bre looked at each other on high alert and spoke in unison. "No way."

Carson glanced around at the three women, who looked back at her with nothing but love and support, but it did nothing to ease her nerves. 

Could she be pregnant? It was never really something Carson and Auston talked about. Sure, they made comments about having babies one day, and there wasn't anyone else Carson would want to be the father of her children, but she and Auston never talked about it in depth. She knew that Auston loved kids, but they had only been engaged for all of six months. Was it too soon?

Carson wasn't sure what to think or feel about the possibility of being pregnant, but the symptoms were there and the fact that her period was unnaturally late just added to it all. 

"How could I not notice these things?" She groaned and dragged her hand down her face in defeat. "There's just been so much going on, and oh my god, what if I actually am pregnant? How am I supposed to mother a whole child?"

Carson could feel herself begin to panic, but Ema was around the island and pulling her into a hug before it could get too bad, even though she still cried a little bit. Both Alex and Bre joined in, too, trying their best to make Carson feel better and make ease of the situation. 

"You don't know for sure," Alex said. "But you know that we're all here to help you regardless, right?"

"Yeah," Carson sobbed while moving away to wipe away her tears. "It's just a lot to take in."

"Everything will be okay, but I will say that I, for one, would not be mad if I became an aunt soon," Bre chimed in, causing everyone to chuckle. 

"When you and Auston are heading home, why don't you stop by the store and pick up some tests just to see," Ema suggested as she moved over to the other side of the counter again. "We can also make you a doctor's appointment for early next week."

"I will, and yes, that sounds great," Carson told her with a nod. "Cause even if I'm not, you know, expecting, an appointment wouldn't hurt, seeing as I have been sick. Thanks, guys. I really appreciate the support and love. Now I just need to figure out how I'm going to tell Auston."

"Tell me what?" Auston's voice sounded from behind Carson. It wasn't long until his arms wrapped around her waist, and he was placing a soft peck to her temple before looking around at his mom and sisters. "Did I miss something?"

"Just something you and Carson can talk about later in private," Ema told him and sent Carson a wink, knowing she'd tell Auston as soon as she was ready. "Why don't you four go watch some TV? Your dad and I will finish up dinner, and then we can eat?"

Immediately, both Alex and Bre locked eye contact with their brother as they stood up from their seats, but unfortunately, Auston was faster. 

"I'm picking the show!" He yelled before bolting from his spot behind Carson and out of the room. The girls weren't too far behind him, leaving Carson and Ema to watch and shake their heads. 

"Children, all of them," Ema said before coming around to Carson again and pulling her into one more hug. "You tell him when you're ready, sweetheart. I know you're probably nervous, but he loves you so much, and everything is going to work out just fine. Alright?"

"Yeah," Carson told her future mother-in-law with a smile. "Thank you, Ema, I mean it. If I am pregnant, this child will be so insanely lucky to have you in their life. I'm just… really nervous."

"Are you trying to make me cry? Because I will. And I understand, Carson, but there is no one else I'd rather my son experienced this with if that is the case. You're going to have an amazing support system, and you know you can come to talk to me about anything or ask any questions you have, right?"

"I do."

"Good," she said with a smile while giving Carson one more squeeze. "Now go with the others before they start complaining about me hogging you."

As soon as Carson arrived in the living room, she went to walk past Auston so she could sit with Bre, but he prevented that from happening by grabbing her hand so that she'd stop, then glance up at her with somewhat of a pout. 

"Can I help you?" Carson asked with raised eyebrows, earning chuckles from both of Auston's sisters. 

He looked at her with a bit of a pointed gaze in response before pulling her closer, indicating that he was hoping she'd sit with him. "What were you and mom talking about? Everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah, everything's fine," Carson responded before letting out a small huff. "I, uh, I just got a little sick again shortly after we first got here..."

"Again?" Auston asked, making no attempt to hide the worry that laced his voice. "Carse-."

"I know, Aus," Carson cut him off while shaking her head. Auston sighed as she looked to Alex and Bre for help. They weren't quite sure what to say because both knew Carson needed to be the one to tell Auston what she really thought was going on, but luckily Bre was quick to the rescue.

"Auston, would you hurry up and pick a show already?"

He scoffed and immediately looked to his little sister with a scowl. 

"Yeah, let's go," Alex chimed in. "And can you please pick something that's not The Office?"

"What's wrong with The Office?" Auston asked in a tone as if saying that was the most offensive question he'd ever received. 

Carson chuckled and squeezed his hand. 

"We can talk when we go back to the house, okay? But I want to catch up with your sisters first. I haven't really gotten the chance to do that yet."

Carson didn't leave much room left for argument, so with a nod, Auston let go of her hand and observed as she went over to the girls to talk before getting comfy and putting on The Office anyways. 

The rest of the evening went by quickly. Carson didn't eat a whole lot at dinner, having lost her appetite from getting sick, and she could tell it was worrying Auston. He watched her like a hawk the entire time, and it just made her feel even more nervous to tell him about the possibility of being pregnant. 

Once everyone finished eating, Carson and Auston helped Brian do the dishes so that Ema could finally have a break, while Alex and Bre cleaned off the table and went to pick out a board game. After a few competitive rounds of Jenga, Carson and Auston called it a night and headed home, but not without making plans to be back later in the week for another visit. 

On the way back home, Carson asked Auston to stop at a CVS so she could run in and purchase some pregnancy tests. She didn't tell him that's what the two of them were stopping for, but after a quick dash inside and an interesting look from the cashier, Carson went back to the car and tried to keep the contents of the bag hidden until they were back at the house. 

Throughout their relationship, Carson quickly learned that Auston was much more observant than a lot of people gave him credit for. He caught onto the small things like her mood changes, mannerisms, and so much more. So, it wasn't surprising that with the way she walked out of CVS, chugging a bottle of water before moving to a second before the two of them got home, he knew something was up. The fact that Carson bolted upstairs to their shared en-suite almost as soon as they walked through the door was a dead giveaway as well. 

Auston was worried. How could he not be? Part of him wanted to make a doctor's appointment right then and there because he knew the way Carson was acting had to do with how she hadn't been feeling well. He just wished that she would talk to him about it. After about 10 minutes, he became fed up with his nagging thoughts and followed after her to the washroom. 

Carson was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, hunched over with her head in her hands when a soft knock sounded on the door, and her fiancé soon peeked his head inside. 

"Hey," Auston greeted softly, worry prominently shown on his features as he observed her rough state. 

"Hey."

"Did, uh, did you get sick again?" He asked hesitantly as he sat down beside Carson and gently laced his hand with hers. 

"No," she told him and shook her head. "I feel like I could, though."

"Carson."

"Not in the way that you're thinking, Auston. From nerves. I'm so nervous I feel like I could throw up."

"What do you mean?" He questioned and squeezed her hand. "Did something happen?"

"Yeah, well, when we were at your parent's house," Carson started with a sigh. "After I got sick and was talking to your mom and sisters, I got thinking."

Auston watched as Carson used her free hand to reach over and grab the phone that sat beside her on the bath's ledge. He couldn't help but smile as he looked at the picture of her and him in front of the tree at the Leafs team Christmas party from the year prior set as her lock screen, but then she unlocked the device and opened an app with a tiny pink flower on it. There was no way he'd ever know what the app was for, so he just watched as a calendar opened up and Carson started scrolling through the months. 

Carson stopped once she reached April of that year and looked down at the only highlighted week that indicated significant dates she never thought of twice during the last two months before handing the phone to Auston so he could look at it as well. 

"What's this?"

"The app I use to track my period," she explained, not taking her eyes off of him as she waited to see how he would react. "That week in April that's coloured was the last time I had it." 

"Baby, that's almost two months ago."

"I know."

Carson continued watching him as he processed this information, it not taking much longer before his eyes widened and looked back at her. "Wait, you don't think you're -."

"Pregnant?" Carson finished for him. "I don't know. Like, the symptoms are there, and it makes sense..."

Auston kept staring at her, absolutely stunned but was quickly brought back to reality when Carson's phone alarm went off in his hand and caused him to jump.

"So, I took three tests that I got from CVS," she continued. "They're over there on the counter, and the results should be showing by now."

It was then Auston's gaze finally left his fiancee so he could glance at the three pregnancy tests sitting in a row on the vanity that he didn't notice before but remained utterly silent.

"Auston, please say something."

"I- this is why you think you've been sick?" He asked, and Carson nodded. "Holy shit, Carson, I-I don't even know what to say."

"Tell me that it's going to be okay," she pleaded, not being able to stop the sob that escaped her mouth or the tears that formed in her eyes. "That regardless of what those tests say, we're in this together, and it'll all be fine because right now I'm absolutely terrified, Aus, and I really need you with me for this."

"Hey, Woah, who said I was going anywhere?" 

"No one, it's just… we've never talked about having kids. I didn't want to just spring this on you. You still have your entire career ahead of you and-."

"And you being pregnant is not going to impact any of that negatively," Auston told her firmly as she sniffled a little bit. 

Carson then smiled slightly at his words, beginning to wonder why she was so worried to tell him in the first place. "I'm scared."

"You do not need to be," he assured as he reached over to grab her left hand so that the two of them could look at Carson's engagement ring together. "There was a reason I got you this and asked you to marry me, Carson. It's because you're the one I want to do this whole life thing with. There's no one else I'd rather start a family with than you, okay? You're it for me. And I mean, we already have Frank."

"You're right," Carson chuckled and reached up to wipe away a few stray tears that still spilled. "I love you, Auston. So much."

"And I love you," he replied and pulled Carson in for a kiss. Once he pulled away, he looked back at the counter nervously and gave her hand another squeeze. "Think we should go check those out?"

"Ready whenever you are."

Carson and Auston slowly stood up with a deep exhale and made their way over to the counter. Neither of them let go of the other's hand as they walked but jumped slightly when Frank strutted his way into the room, making the entire thing a real family affair. 

After one final glance at her fiancé, Carson looked down at the three tests and felt her breath hitch when she saw that each of them had a positive symbol. 

Auston wasn't long pulling her into his embrace so he could mutter sweet things while placing the softest pecks to her head. "We're having a baby."

"Oh, my God, we are," Carson replied and squeezed him a little tighter. "I need to make a doctor's appointment as soon as I can, though, Aus. I don't know how far along I am. Right now, this is all a guessing game."

"We can call first thing in the morning and get it all figured out," Auston assured while leaning away slightly so that he could look at her. "But tonight, we'll just take it easy, alright? Maybe try to find a way to break it to Frank that he's not going to be an only child anymore."

"Oh, I'm sure it'll devastate him," Carson teased before leaning down to pet the miniature Goldendoodle that laid at her feet. "But, I do think there may be three women who live pretty close by that are anxiously waiting for news about whether or not they're getting a new family member. Think we should call them?"

"Probably not a bad idea," he told her with a smile before leaning in to press a soft, loving kiss to her lips. "Then we can call your family if you want to."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

~*~

The rest of the summer went by in a blur. The day after finding out she was pregnant, Carson and Auston went to the doctors together to confirm everything and make sure nothing was wrong. After some tests, the doctor assured the two of them that their baby was healthy, explained how Carson was roughly eight weeks along based on the information given regarding Carson's last period and gave tips on how to deal with specific pregnancy symptoms like nausea. 

Carson spent time with Auston's family almost every day, which she was completely okay with. If she wasn't shopping and spending time with Ema, or just talking about life in general with Brian, she was hanging out with Alex and Bre; and those two sure never made any attempt to hide how excited they were about becoming aunts.

"I'm convinced my family is going to steal you away from me one of these days," Auston said one night he and Carson had gone out to dinner.

"They're excited, Aus," she replied while shaking her head at him. "We're not the only ones who can't wait to meet our little one."

He smiled at her response and watched as Carson mindlessly placed her hand on her stomach, smiling even wider as he thought about the baby she was creating. Their baby. It was surreal. 

Telling Carson's family that they were expecting was interesting. The first people they shared the news with were her dad and his girlfriend, Alice. The day the doctor confirmed how far along Carson was and everything, she immediately wanted to call her dad to share the news. He and Alice were ecstatic and were curious about how she planned on telling her siblings that they would be an aunt and uncle soon. 

With Carson's sister Mya living in Vancouver and her brother Nate residing in Montreal, it was difficult for the three siblings to be in the same place simultaneously. Still, they always had FaceTime calls to catch up with and torment one another. That summer, after finding she was pregnant, Carson didn't tell them right away. Instead, she waited until she visibly had a bump to show off, then during one of those FaceTime calls, she stood up so they could see. 

"Is that a bump?" Mya asked as she squinted and leaned closer to the screen of her phone, unsure if she saw correctly. Once she saw her sister nod and smooth a hand over her belly, Mya gasped and threw her head back dramatically. "Carson!"

"Shut up," Nate said, his jaw-dropping open as he realized what Carson was indicating. "Did you eat a watermelon seed?"

"I hate you," Carson replied and rolled her eyes at how her brother was making fun of how she used to think women got pregnant by eating watermelon seeds when she was little. "You two are going to have a little niece or nephew pretty soon."

"I'm going to cry," Mya stated. "I just need to see my pregnant sister in person, goddammit."

"Is Auston there?" Nate then asked.

"Yeah, he's right here," Carson replied and shifted the iPad she was calling on so her siblings could see him.

"Hey, Auston."

"Yes, Nate," Auston said, unable to keep a straight face because he knew what was coming.

"So, uh, next time I'm in Toronto, or you're in Montreal, I'm going to have to kick your ass for knocking up my sister."

"Nathan!" Carson gasped. 

"I'm just giving him a fair warning that the next time I see him, it's on sight," Nate replied with a shrug, earning a laugh from Mya and another eye roll from Carson. 

"You know, that's valid," Auston chuckled before Mya and Nate went on to congratulate him and Carson. 

The next person they told over FaceTime was Carson's oldest and best friend, as well as her old roommate, Lexie, who just screamed with joy and excitement before crying over the fact that her best friend was going to be a mom. 

Everyone else, Carson and Auston, wanted to wait to tell. 

Nearing the middle of September, Carson was about 20 weeks pregnant and well into her second trimester. It could not be assumed that she was already halfway through her pregnancy to an unknowing eye, but Auston saw the changes. 

He noticed them in her appearance, how there was a subtle bump when she wore tight-fitting clothes or walked around in one of his t-shirts. Even noticed them in her mannerisms, with mood swings and weird things she'd crave at the most random times, learning the hard way of how difficult it was to tell a pregnant woman she couldn't have poutine regardless of how bad she wanted it because she was not in Canada. 

But what he noticed the most was how Carson carried herself. Auston knew damn well that she was always one to take excellent care of herself, but from basically the moment Carson found out that she was pregnant, it was like that motherly instinct kicked in immediately. She didn't overwork herself so she wouldn't get stressed, ate the best foods she could, and spent so much time researching ways to bring a healthy and happy baby into the world. It truly blew Auston away, and he was so insanely excited to meet the little one the two of them made together because he undoubtedly knew they were going to have the best mom in the world.

When the time came to leave Arizona, it was hard to say goodbye to Auston's family, but it was more of a see you later, seeing as they already had plans to visit Toronto in the upcoming weeks. 

Carson was excited to be back in Toronto and experience whatever was left of the summer weather, even though it was stupid hot. It almost felt like she never left Scottsdale with how intense the sun was, but at least she was home. And that made it much more bearable. 

Auston was always there, adjusting the AC to the perfect temperature in the condo so that she'd be comfortable and making sure that she stayed hydrated at all times. Carson loved seeing the fatherly instincts Auston developed as well, and it sure made her feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, but she also made sure to tell him if he was a little too much and remind him that she was capable of doing things herself. 

The two of them were back for only a short amount of time before Auston delved into practicing and having to leave for preseason training in the Muskokas with the Leafs, but in that time, they did a lot. 

The first project Carson and Auston tackled was starting to redo the condo's office, which no one used, and beginning its transition into a nursery. This project required a lot of planning, but with a couple of trips to IKEA, much to Auston's dismay because he was ready to drop an unnecessary amount of money on luxury baby items, they got a good start on it all. 

Carson had a few doctor's appointments within that week as well. Her doctor in Toronto wanted to make sure everything with the baby was okay, and once she determined it was, she rescheduled for Carson to see her again so she and Auston could find out the sex of their child. 

Unable to contain her excitement and nerves, Carson slept a little restlessly leading up to that appointment. Auston noticed this but didn't give her a hard time about it because he was excited too. 

But then the two of them agreed not to learn the baby's sex. 

Carson still went to the appointment, and the doctor was able to tell the baby's sex as she performed an ultrasound on her growing belly. Still, instead of telling Carson and Auston, she wrote if their baby was a girl or a boy down on a piece of paper and sealed it in an envelope so that if either of them changed their mind, they could look at the results. 

A few days later, Auston had to leave. Training luckily meant that the guys weren’t away from Toronto for long, even with the preseason games. But, Auston was still very reluctant to go. 

"Aus, you have to go," Carson told him as she crawled from her space on the bed to where he was sitting at the end of it, placing soft pecks to his exposed shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "It's only for like two days."

"Not a selling point," Auston replied and turned to face her. His eyes then flickered down to Carson's stomach, taking in how it had grown even more in size and how prominent it was in the lilac tank top and pair of Roots track pants she wore. However, Carson still managed to hide her bump whenever she went out in public somehow, which was fair because no one else knew she was expecting outside of the family. "Don't want to leave you… or the baby."

Carson smiled as he reached over to gently place a hand on her stomach before leaning in to kiss her. The gesture made her melt a little bit, but Carson was still the first to pull away. "I know, babe. But, we're both still going to be here once you get back."

Auston didn't respond but sent her a narrowed glance instead. 

"Don't look at me like that," Carson told her fiancé. "What are you going to do during the regular season when you're gone for much longer?"

"Bring you with me," he deadpanned, and this time it was Carson that gave him a look.

"I don't think so. The more weeks that go by, the more even the thought of flying makes me want to vomit. Coming back to Toronto was enough of a challenge. Plus, I'm going to start going into the office for work again now that we're back."

"Guess I'll just have to fly back as much as I can," he stated with a shrug. "Cause I refuse to be away from you for long, especially with your due date approaching."

"We've got until February, Auston," she explained. "Nothing to stress about."

"Not yet, at least."

Carson shook her head in frustration at his stubbornness before climbing off the bed so that she could help gather a few last-minute things before his departure. "I think you're being dramatic."

"Why? Because I'm afraid, I might miss the birth of my child?" He unintentionally snapped and immediately felt horrible when he saw Carson jump in response to his sudden change in tone. She was shocked at his outburst and remained utterly silent as the two of them stared at each other. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Carse, I didn't mean-."

"Is that what you're worried about?" She asked before setting down the t-shirt she was holding and walking over to him again. 

Auston sighed. 

"I- yeah, I've been thinking about it a lot actually. I'm just scared that I won't be here when you need me, and the last thing I want is to be away when you go into labour and..."

"Auston," Carson started while linking her hands with his and pulling so that he'd stand up from the bed. "I need you to tell me when things like this are bugging you. That way, we can try to figure something out together. We still have lots of time before we need to start worrying about any of that, babe. And even then, I think we'll be fine. You play for a great franchise and have amazing teammates. When we decide to tell them that we're going to be parents, I'm sure they'll be insanely supportive and understand if you have to miss a game. That's even if it comes to that."

Auston just looked at Carson for a moment with an unreadable gaze, and she wasn't quite sure if anything she said got through to him, but then a tiny smile danced its way across his lips, and he was soon pulling her into his embrace. "How do you always know what to say?"

"I don't," Carson explained while cuddling closer to him. "I really wish I did, but I'm just as scared as you are, Aus. However, I know that we're in this together, and it's all going to work out... So that helps a lot."

"God, I love you so much," he stated while leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

"Good, cause the feeling's mutual."

"Well, I would hope so!"

"No one else I'd rather be stuck with, Matthews," Carson replied, causing Auston to scoff. She then pulled away to look up and smirk at him before patting his chest and nodding towards his suitcase that still needed to be packed. "Come on now, Steph will be here to drop Mitchy off soon. Then you guys need to go."

"Yes, dear. Still don't know how you plan on telling those two we're having a baby."

"I'll figure it out."

The day after Auston left, Carson spent time relaxing with Frank. It was nice to chill, but the day after that, she had plans to get lunch with Steph at a nearby restaurant, and Carson was extremely excited to see her. It'd been a long summer not seeing one of her best friends, and Carson knew Steph was ecstatic to spend some time with her as well.

However, Steph was a little thrown off by how Carson was acting at lunch. 

Carson had taken a bunch of time that morning to look nice. It took her over an hour to do her hair and even longer decide what to wear. She ended up wearing a long, flowy maxi dress that hid her bump exceptionally well, then paired it with a pair of strappy sandals and some bangle bracelets. All in all, it wasn't anything about her appearance that threw Steph off, but rather how she was acting. 

What started it was how Carson barely talked about herself at all. Steph filled Carson in on all the details about her and Mitch's summer that she hadn't already shared with Carson over FaceTime and expected her to do the same. But she didn't. 

"It was, uh, pretty uneventful," Carson somewhat lied and started picking at the Caesar salad on her plate. "Spent a lot of time by the pool and with Auston's family, but other than that, it was pretty lowkey."

"You're joking," Steph stated and leaned back in her seat with crossed arms. 

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, Carson," she said and threw her head back in a dramatic groan before looking back at her friend. "You always have the funniest stories whenever you and Auston come back from Scottsdale. Did something happen? What are you hiding? Oh my god, did the two of you elope?"

"What? No!" Carson screeched, causing her to burst out laughing. "We're still engaged, Steph. You and Mitch would've been at the wedding even if it was in secret. Pretty sure Mitch would disown me as his twin if I didn't want him there."

"That's what I like to hear. And I'm just messing with you, hun. I'm really glad you're back, but you're sure everything's okay? You just seem I don't know… off."

Carson gulped as she attempted the most natural smile that she could. "I'm fine."

"Carse…"

"No, really, Steph," she assured, feeling a little anxious all of a sudden. "I just haven't been feeling all that great lately. Actually, I'm just going to run to the washroom real quick. I'll be right back."

"Oh, okay," Steph replied as she watched Carson stand up and grab her bag to take with her. "Take your time. I'll order us some sangria."

"Uh, none for me, thanks," Carson told her, earning herself a surprised look. "I'm good with water."

Steph didn't reply, just looked at Carson, wholly shocked over the fact that she turned down sangria, something she'd never done before. 

Unsure of what else to say, Carson awkwardly nodded towards her before fleeing to the washroom. 

As she was going, she took out her phone and texted her fiancé. 

Carson

This is proving to be rather difficult.

Auston

What is? Everything alright?

Carson

Yes, everything's fine. It's just really hard not telling anyone we're expecting, y'know? Please remind me why we haven't told Mitch and Steph we're having a baby yet cause this is getting painful. 

After hitting send, Carson waited for a second to see what he'd respond with; but when he didn't, she tucked the phone back into her purse and entered the washroom. 

A few minutes later, once she finished washing her hands, Carson felt her phone buzz with a new notification and moved to pull it back out, freezing as she did so. 

Auston 

… Mitch knows.

Before Carson could even react, her phone started ringing, and Mitch's contact picture showed up. Still a little shell-shocked, she answered the device and held it up to her ear.

"H-hello?"

"You're going to be a whole mom!" The oh-so-familiar voice of her cousin, Mitchell Marner, sounded from the other end, and Carson couldn't help but chuckle at it slightly. "Congrats, wow."

"Yeah, I guess I am," she told him with a smile while shaking her head. "Thanks, Mitch."

"So, when were you planning on telling me, hm?"

"I was still trying to figure out how," Carson told him honestly. "Didn't want you to freak out."

"Oh, I'm trying really hard not to murder your fiancé right now," he stated casually. "But luckily, my happiness for both of you overpowers that."

  "I can't with you. Now, speaking of my fiancé, you wouldn't happen to know where Auston is, would you?"

"Right here, babe," Auston's voice called from nearby, indicating that Carson was on speaker. "We just got back to the hotel, and I was driving, so it was Mitch texting you from my phone."

"I see, so that's how you know?"

"Yeah, the two of you didn't plan that out very well, if I'm honest," Mitch replied. "All the guys are kinda nosy. Literally, anyone could've been looking at his phone."

"No, pretty sure it's just you," Auston stated loudly, causing Carson to cover her mouth in an attempt to silence her laughter as the boys started bickering. 

"Okay, that's enough, you two," she said while putting the call on speaker as well so that she could gather her things and head back to the table. "Steph's gonna think I got lost on my way to the washroom if I don't go back soon. Now I'm going to have to figure out a way to tell her that I'm pregnant."

"Wait, you haven't told her yet?" Mitchy asked, a bit of concern lacing his voice. 

"No, not yet. Why?"

"Uh, no reason!"

"You told her already, didn't you?" Carson heard Auston ask, her mouth falling open when Mitch's silence confirmed the answer to her fiancé's question. "Bro, you haven't known for five whole minutes yet!"

"So?" Mitch argued. "I got excited!"

"That doesn't mean-."

After that, Carson zoned out a bit and did not hear the rest of Auston's response because, as if on cue, the washroom door swung open, and a familiar voice called out, making her jump. 

"Carson!?"

Although she couldn't see her from where she stood, Carson knew it was Steph that had just barged in, and it seemed that Auston and Mitch knew as well. 

"Oh, you've done it now," Auston snapped while Mitch scoffed. 

"How is this my fault?"

"Because you literally have the biggest mouth."

There was no way Steph didn't hear the conversation happening on the phone, so Carson stayed silent as she waited for her friend to come around the corner to where the sinks were and braced herself for impact. 

As soon as Steph appeared around the wall with an unreadable expression, Carson was more terrified than ever. 

"Is that Auston on the phone too?" Steph said as she walked up to Carson. Still unsure of how to approach what was happening, Carson kept quiet and nodded. "Great. So I get to ream him out as well."

Silence. 

"Uh, so, we're gonna go," Mitch finally spoke up, and Carson could briefly hear Auston say he'd call her later. "Bye!"

Once the line went dead, Carson hung up and tucked the phone back into her bag, all without looking from where Steph stood in front of her. 

"So, um…"

"You're PREGNANT!?" Steph cut her off, and Carson couldn't help the sigh of relief she let out, seeing as Steph sounded more excited than upset.

"I am," Carson replied and chuckled a little bit. Steph just stood there shocked, but then Carson turned to the side and started pulling the back of her dress so that the front would be tight against her body, showing off the bump that had been hidden the entire time. 

"Oh my god!" Steph squealed before rushing over and engulfing Carson in the biggest hug. "How? When did this happen?"

"I'm not going into the details of how it happened, Steph," she explained, causing Steph to laugh as she pulled away. "But we found out during our first week back in Scottsdale. I just thought I was sick, but after talking to Ema, I decided to take a few pregnancy tests and sure enough…"

"Oh babe, congratulations, I'm so happy for you and Auston. Wow, my best friend is going to be a mom!"

"And you're going to be an honorary aunt!"

"Ahhh, I am!" She screeched excitedly but was quick in going straight-faced and looking serious again. "I mean… what the hell Carson, why didn't you tell me?"

"Okay, drama queen," Carson told her with a scoff, easily breaking her facade. "To be fair, outside of me, Auston, our parents, siblings and Lexie, you and Mitch are the only people who know."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, knowing your cousin, there's going to be a lot more people who will know very soon."

"Yeah, I'm just waiting to talk to Auston again tonight and find out that the entire team knows."

"That is exactly what's going to happen," Steph replied before gently smacking her hand to her forehead, both of them laughing as she did so. "Do you know what you're having, or your due date, or anything? Wait, how far along are you even!?"

"Oh geez," Carson began with a smile. "Well, Auston and I decided not to find out the baby's sex, but the doctor wrote it down and put it in an envelope for if we changed our minds. So that's currently sitting in a drawer at home."

"That must be killing you."

"It is! I'm trying really hard not to look, but who knows? I'm weak. And I'm almost 20 weeks along now. My due date is February 4th."

"20 weeks?" She gasped. "Damn, mama, you look good."

"Why, thank you," Carson laughed and quickly struck a pose.

"Anytime," she replied with a wink. "I hope you know just how spoiled this child is going to be. Oh, and that there's no way I'm not throwing you an over-the-top baby shower."

"I don't know; I think Mya, Alex and Bre might have you beat to that."

"Fair enough. That's fine, though. We can plot together."

"I'd expect nothing less," Carson said and reached out to pull her in for another hug. "You know, I was terrified at the thought of being pregnant. But having people like you and Mitch and my family here to help and just having Auston go through it all with me, I realized I did not need to be. So, thank you, Steph. I really wouldn't be able to do it without any of you."

"Excuse you, I wasn't prepared to cry today," she mumbled and gave Carson another squeeze. "This baby is going to be so loved, and they're going to have the best parents."

"Well, now you're going to make me cry." 

After that, the two girls moved away from each other and wiped away the tears that had formed before finally going back to the table and finishing lunch. 

~*~

Time started going by insanely fast once Auston was back from training, and before Carson knew it, hockey season had started. 

By that point, it was next to impossible to hide her baby bump. During the month of being back in Toronto leading up to the Leafs home opener, their little one started making themselves known, and Carson was just too exhausted to keep a secret that didn't need to be kept. 

The entire team knew she was pregnant. Carson had received quite a few congratulatory texts a month prior within only hours of Mitch finding out, and even more in person whenever she was around any member of the TML franchise. 

The best part, though, was watching Auston whenever someone brought up the fact that he was going to be a dad. He'd always smile a little wider, and there'd be this tiny glint of excitement in his eyes whenever he talked about it. Carson was getting excited too, but watching him just made the whole duration of her pregnancy that much better. 

Even though Auston wasn’t playing in the home opener because since his wrist was still recovering from surgery in the summer, his family flew in and Carson was going to join them sitting in the stands for the first game of the season. She spent the entire day with them taking Frank for a walk, grabbing some dinner and then getting ready with Alex, seeing as Bre was still in Arizona for school, before heading to Scotiabank Arena. 

Once they arrived, everyone walked down towards the glass to watch a bit of the pregame warmup. Carson, Ema, and Alex found a few open seats to set their coats on before turning their attention back to the ice. After a few minutes, Carson sent Steph a quick text to let her know where they were since she would be there with her aunt, uncle and cousin Chris to cheer on Mitch. 

As soon as she put her phone away, Carson's gaze immediately fell on Auston as he stood over near the bench, dressed nicely in his suit, waiting for the opening ceremony to start. He spotted her, then winked and waved before going back to talking to one of the assistant coaches and pointing to Carson and his family as if to show that they were there. 

Carson blew him a kiss back, to which Auston smiled, but then she watched as he looked to the right a little bit, and that smile faded. Curious about what caused his mood to change so quickly, Carson followed his gaze and eventually saw a reporter and a cameraman with their camera pointed directly at her. 

"Alex, is it just me or are they taking pictures of us?" Carson asked Auston's older sister and nodded towards the reporter. 

Alex looked towards them and scrunched up her face a little bit. "I think so? That or a video, I'm not sure. They must be, or else Auston wouldn't be looking at them like that." 

Carson wasted no time looking back to her fiancé Sure enough, Auston was glaring at the two people. His face was unreadable, but his expression was stern, and Carson knew he would not start that game off happy. 

"I wonder why," Ema said as she noticed Auston’s hard expression and the reporters.

"I think I know why," Carson whispered loud enough for them to hear before looking down at her belly, which was rather prominent in the jersey she wore, then protectively placed her hand on it. Carson could have easily bought a newer, larger Matthews jersey, but the one she wore still fit comfortably enough that she didn't feel the need to do that yet. Sure, her pregnant belly was quite visible, but she didn't really care because Carson knew she would be surrounded by people who weren't going to judge her and knew she was expecting. But at that moment, thanks to the reporters who were undoubtedly about to make Carson's pregnancy their next big headline, she had never felt more self-conscious. "Can we go up to our seats, please?"

"Yes, of course," Ema said and started ushering Carson and Alex out of the row they were in and back up the stairs to their actual seats. She kept a comforting hand on Carson's back as they went, which Carson thanked her for as she tried her hardest not to cry. 

Once they reached their row, Carson looked down at the ice once more to see Auston give her an apologetic look before having to turn his attention away from her get ready for the game. 

Being in their proper seats relaxed Carson because they blended in with the entire crowd. She didn’t see the reporter again, but she was still upset when Brian joined them, looking more confused than ever. 

"Hey, Woah, is everything alright?" He asked, looking between his very upset-looking wife and daughter, before landing his gaze on Carson and seeing that she was on the brink of tears. "Oh, Carson. Did something happen?"

"Um, there were reporters," Carson explained. "They were filming us, and... I don't know. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but I can't help but think that as soon as the game is over, everyone's going to know I'm pregnant."

"I see," Brian replied and looked at Ema. "They didn't approach you guys or anything, did they?"

"No, I don't think they would have," she told him.

"But still," Alex spoke up from beside her mother. "That's not fair. This is Carson and Auston's business, not anyone else's."

"That's the thing," Carson added while shaking her head. "I don't care if people know we're going to have a baby, and I know Auston doesn't either, but not like this. I didn't want it to be a big spectacle, and now I feel like that's exactly what's going to happen."

"I guess all we can do is wait," Brian said with a sigh. "You can talk to Auston about everything once the game is over. Hopefully, nothing will happen between now and then."

Carson nodded in agreement and took a deep breath to calm herself down a bit. "You're right. Let's just watch the game; it's not worth getting upset over. I'll just talk to him once he's home tonight."

Everyone agreed and settled into their seats just as the entire Leafs roster. Carson went to sit on the other side of Alex but was stopped by someone's hand on her arm, causing her to snap her gaze to its source and see Ema. 

"Carson, you have every right to be upset," she said quietly but firmly. "You're going to be a mother soon, it's in your instincts to want to protect your baby, and the only way to do that right now is by protecting yourself. So don't think you're being dramatic or have no need to be upset over those reporters because you do. You never liked being in the spotlight, and this is worrying you, isn't it?"

Carson let out a breath and nodded. 

"It is, and I just feel so helpless. Like I knew my pregnancy becoming public knowledge was bound to happen, but I was hoping it'd be on my terms. Something I'd have control over."

Carson paused as she heard someone from a couple of rows back start talking about something they saw on Twitter. 

“Woah, is Matthews having a kid?”

At that, Carson’s eyes started welling up again before she groaned and frustratedly pushed her hand through her hair. Eventually, she looked back to her future mother-in-law and fought the urge to cry all over again. 

"As I said before, I really don't care if everyone knows," Carson explained. "But the last thing I wanted was for this to be a whole big thing that distracted people from the team because that's what we're all here for, right? This is already getting out of hand and-."

Carson's voice cracked as a sob involuntarily left her mouth, and she was no longer able to keep the tears in anymore. She sat down quickly to attempt not to draw any attention to herself, while Brian, Ema and Alex tried to console her.

"I'm okay, thanks, guys," Carson told them after taking some deep breaths and being able to calm herself down a bit. "I'm so over these hormones already."

"Perks of being pregnant," Ema told her with a smile before giving her arm one last squeeze and moving away. 

"Are you sure you're alright?" Brian asked sympathetically, and Carson nodded. 

"I can go back to the condo with you if you need to leave, and we can watch the game there?" Alex offered. "I'm sure Auston would understand."

"No, no, it's alright. Thank you. But, there's nothing I want more right now than to watch my favourite hockey player with some of my favourite people. I might head out a little early and just meet Auston at home, but until then, let's just try to enjoy the game."

"Sounds like a plan," Alex replied with a smile.

 Once the game concluded, Carson left. The Leafs had won, and she wanted to give Auston the chance to see his family once he finished all of his postgame stuff with the team. Carson also didn't want reporters asking her any questions if she went to see her fiancé, so instead, she and Steph went straight to the parking lot and drove back to the condo once Steph and Mitch’s family caught up with her and were filled in on what happened. 

Steph offered to stay with Carson until Auston was home, but Carson assured her that she'd be fine. After saying goodbye and telling Steph to text her once she was home, Carson went up to the condo and changed into comfy clothes. Once she was done, she curled up on the couch and watched the post-game interviews and highlights before sending a quick text to Alex about plans for breakfast the following morning.

However, Carson's train of thought was disrupted because as soon as she turned on the TV, Auston appeared. 

He was being interviewed about the game, like always, answering questions about how he thought the team played even though he couldn’t comment on his own performance. It was nothing out of the ordinary, so Auston responded to the question quickly. Just as he was about to leave, Carson could hear a reporter from off-screen pushing for one more question and watched as Auston's expression visibly hardened. 

"Auston, before you go, can you answer one more thing for us?" A voice asked, and Carson could see the debate in Auston's eyes of whether to stay and answer their question or just leave. But, her fiancé knew how bad it looked just to cut off a reporter without reason. So, with a deep breath, he nodded and waited for what it was they wanted to ask. "We were just wondering about your girlfriend, Carson. How is she doing?"

"Fiancée," Auston corrected, not missing a beat. "And she's doing just fine, she was here tonight with my family, but I think she's gone home by now. What does this have to do with hockey exactly?"

"Is there a reason she left so suddenly?"

Carson knew exactly where the reporter was going with their questions and started feeling anxious all over again because of it. Although she was aware of how well Auston could handle the media, that didn't stop her from scrambling for her phone and texting the first person she thought of. 

Carson 

Mitch, please get him out of there if you can.

Part of her didn't expect her cousin to text back right away, seeing as he did just finish a game and all, but the other part was hopeful that maybe, just maybe, he was near his phone and saw it go off since he had already done his interview for the night. Carson waited for a second, watching her phone screen as she heard Auston start speaking again and had to avert her attention back to the TV.

"She, uh, she was pretty tired, had a long day hanging out with my sisters," he replied calmly, but Carson could very clearly hear the annoyance in his voice. "Again, not sure what this has to do with the game we just played or why it's any of your business."

"Oh no, no, no," she muttered and burrowed herself further into the fuzzy throw blanket she wrapped herself up in. Frank seemed to notice Carson's distress and wasn't long in hopping onto the couch so he could curl up on her lap and provide some reassuring hand licks as she continued watching the television. 

"It's just that she was seen before the game and didn't look too well," the reporter continued while Auston looked at them with raised eyebrows. "Is she sick?"

Although Carson was thankful they didn't just flat out ask if she was pregnant, she still groaned at how badly they beat around the bush as a way to confirm or deny their suspicions.  

"No, she's quite healthy."

Her phone then buzzed with a new text, and she couldn't help the audible sigh of relief that left her mouth as she saw who it was from. 

Mitch

On it. 

After typing back 'thank you,' Carson moved her gaze back to the TV, completely missing what the reporter asked but catching what Auston had to say in return. 

"You know, I think you've made some type of assumption for when it comes to Carson… is there really a need for me to confirm or deny whatever it is you're digging for?"

No one spoke again after that. It was just the sounds of cameras flashing and the odd mutter in the background. An awkward moment of silence went by, and soon enough, Mitch appeared behind Auston and tapped him on the shoulder, telling him to leave. The two boys disappeared off camera, and Carson was quick in shutting off the television altogether so she wouldn't have to hear what anyone had to say about everything that just happened. 

Carson wasn't sure how much time went by of her just sitting in silence petting Frank, but soon enough, she was met by the sound of the door being unlocked and Auston entering the condo. Frank was immediately off her lap to greet him, and she wasted no time in hiding the small envelope she was holding behind one of the cushions before going to see her fiancé as well. 

"Hey…"

"I'm going to have that reporter fired," Auston stated firmly as he hung up his coat and eventually looked at her. "I don't know how I'm going to, but that was a complete disaster. There has to be something that can be done. That was too much."

"I know, I saw," Carson told him quietly in hopes of calming him down a little bit, but he didn't have it.

"Like, who do they think they are just asking someone that as a way to get a story? The fact that they were trying to dig into our personal lives apparently wasn't enough. They had to make a big scene about it. I'm surprised they didn't just ask your due date or something like that."

Carson hated seeing him so upset and just felt so crappy about the whole situation, but she wasn't sure how to approach it. "Aus, I know this sucks… a lot. I was there too. But it's really not worth getting upset over. They wanted some sort of a reaction from you."

"And they got one," he huffed while frustratedly pushing his hand through his hair. "Did I seem as big of a dick as I feel I was? I tried so hard not to snap at them, but..."

"I know," Carson replied and gently reached out to grab his hand. "I appreciate you defending our privacy, and I know all the guys don't blame you for how you handled those questions. It's just- I can't help but worry that you're going to get in trouble with management because you did lose your cool a little bit, babe."

"I don't care. I'd do it again. Management can get me in all the shit they want, but it won't matter because I refuse to let a reporter, or anyone for that matter, go after you and our baby again. God, I'm so sorry, Carse, this is all my fault. You shouldn't have had to deal with any of this."

He was livid, that much was evident from the moment Carson saw him glare at those reporters before the game even started, but he needed to calm down. Auston beating himself up over something he had no control over wasn't beneficial to anyone. However, Carson knew for him not to do that was easier said than done. Which was why after turning off the interview, she thought of a way that might ease his worries and wasted no time rushing into the kitchen and grabbing a tiny envelope she knew resided in one of the drawers. 

Carson thought about waiting until Auston was home to open it up and look at the envelope's contents together. Still, her curiosity got the better of her, and she snuck a peek at the small sonogram of their baby from the appointment she had almost a month prior, then read what was written on the back of it. 

Now Carson was left figuring out how to tell him what was on the back of that picture, but Carson just knew that telling him would help ease the current situation the two of them were in. So, without a second thought, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled until her head was able to rest on his chest.

The gesture caught Auston slightly off guard, but he quickly reacted and soon enough had his arms wrapped around her while placing a soft peck to the top of Carson's head. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Auston," Carson stated while squeezing him a little tighter. "You were being your protective self and looking out for the ones you love. You're incredible, do you know that? And it's just things like this that I can't help but think of how our little girl is going to have the best dad on the planet."

At that, he went stiff, and Carson couldn't stop the enormous grin that began stretching its way across her mouth. Auston eventually pulled away just enough to look down at her with wide eyes and a shocked expression. 

"Little girl?"

"Yeah," Carson told him and let out a tiny sob as the happy tears began pricking her eyes. "Baby Girl Matthews will be making her debut here pretty soon."

"What, I-," Auston started but stopped himself as he pulled her in for another tight hug and just held her there for a minute. "We're having a girl?"

"We are," she confirmed while reaching up to wipe away her tears. "I'm sorry I looked without you."

"That doesn't even matter," he said before moving away so that he could lean down to place a soft, sweet kiss on her lips. "I'm just- wow."

"I figured if the world is going to know we're expecting, at least this could be our little secret for the time being."

"You know my sisters are going to lose their minds over having a niece, right? Although I really would have been happy with whatever we were having."

"Me too," Carson agreed. "But this way, us girls get to keep you outnumbered for a bit longer."

"A bit?" Auston asked and looked at her questionably. "Are you suggesting that we have another baby before the first one is even here?"

"I mean, I don't hate the idea," she explained with a smirk. "Not that we need to think about that yet or anything, but yeah, I could see myself having a few kiddos with you."

"I like the sound of that," he replied and gave Carson another peck on the lips. "But after this little one arrives, I think I actually want to marry you first."

"Not opposed to that idea either."

[calumcest]

i took a walk with my fame down memory lane (i never did find my way back) - chapter five

[ao3]

cannot believe the malum is going somewhere now this is truly scenes...only 50k into the fic and all...would you believe that i don’t read fics over 8k long because i’m too impatient i’m literally the worlds biggest hypocrite i HATE slow burn look at me. i literally write everything i hate 

@tirednotflirting my lovely basically-co-writer i love you thank you for dealing with this shit i changed like half of it i cannot believe you had to read it in the state it was in...truly vile...also this chapter actually owes its life to @kaleidoscopeminds i wasn’t going to post today bc the laptop i have to use rn is doing my nut and bc i thought nobody cares but meg cares and so this is for her <3 

Noel gets back the next afternoon. 

He’s dishevelled, he’s sleep-deprived, he’s stone-cold sober and in a right fucking mood, but he’s there. Calum sees him at breakfast, sat at a table chatting to Alan - he’s just got off his flight, still hasn’t taken his suitcase back up to his room, looks like he hasn’t got changed in the four days he’s been gone - and when Noel spots him, he just stares for a minute, wavering, like he’s not sure how Calum’s going to react. It makes Calum falter too, because Noel’s always so certain about these things, always scoffs and says c’mon, then, don’t be a dick, all business-like, so it’s an unexpected reaction. It feels almost like a shift, feels like maybe something’s irrevocably changed, now, and he’s not really sure what to make of it, not sure whether the way his stomach flips is because of that or Noel or the comedown he’s currently pushing through. 

He heads to the table, though, because what the fuck else is he supposed to do - skip a free meal? No fucking chance - and Noel’s eyes follow him the whole way, a slight edge of trepidation leaking into the edges as Calum gets closer and closer until he’s hovering at the table. He’s not going to speak first, Calum realises. He’s going to let Calum take the lead, and that’s unusual too, nothing like the Noel that had left all of four days ago. Jesus, what the fuck do they do to the water in San Diego? Whatever it is, he hopes Noel’s brought some back for Liam to drink.

Alan’s watching the two of them, that managerial instinct telling him that something’s not quite right here, like he can see the way Calum’s skin is crawling with this strange, unknown hesitancy around Noel, and Calum doesn’t want to make a scene in front of him, so he just cocks his head and looks down at Noel.

“You’re a prick,” he says. Noel blinks, and for a brief moment Calum’s stomach drops, like maybe even that has changed, now, like maybe that’s not the right way to say I love you, you massive cunt anymore, and then Noel grins tiredly. 

“Aye,” he says simply, and Calum grins back, relief flooding his veins, and sits down opposite Noel.

It goes pretty much the same with Tony and Bonehead, although Bonehead does cuff Noel upside the head a little harder than strictly necessary. Liam doesn’t come down for food, even though he’s always the first up, and when he realises that the waiters are clearing away the chafing dishes without an indignant Mancunian telling them oi, I’ve only had six hash browns, Calum exchanges a look with Bonehead. Liam’s going to make Noel go to him, isn’t going to let them have a chance meeting. He’s going to make Noel go to him, which for Noel is the same as crawling through broken glass on his hands and knees. 

Noel does it, though, swallows his pride and heads up to Liam’s room when everybody else is chatting animatedly, relief powering the conversation. Calum doesn’t even notice he’s gone until he turns to ask Noel to back him up on Help! being better than Rubber Soul, which is probably what Noel wanted. He’d hate to make a big show of it, for everyone to know that the roles are reversed, that Noel’s going to Liam rather than Liam going to Noel. Still, though, Calum thinks, turning back to the rest of the group and launching into his impassioned defence of Help!, it’s not like Noel. Something’s changed, and Calum’s not entirely sure what, and he doesn’t fucking like it. 

The rest of them don’t see Liam and Noel all day, but when Calum passes by Liam’s room he hears two low voices talking calmly, quietly, rationally, and catches what sounds like look, you love me, I love you, so let’s make this work, and ...for mam’s sake, if nowt else. They emerge again at dinner, and don’t speak about it, and nobody dares to ask, not even Calum. It’s not like anyone else would understand, anyway; the two of them live on another fucking planet where the normal rules of brotherhood and family and basic fucking decency don’t apply. 

Once Noel and Liam have made up, though - or, at least, started calling each other cunts a little less venomously - the rest of the American leg of the tour goes off without a hitch. 

They’re there until late October, and despite an edge of tension in the band, a little uncertainty as they all try to find their feet in their new, post-Whiskey-a-Go-Go-disaster relationships, the tour goes well. Noel and Liam don’t escalate past their usual arguments, only ignore each other for a few hours at a time, and all their dates are sold out. On top of all that, the album’s hitting heights none of them had even dreamed of. 

(Well, maybe Liam had dreamed of them. In fact, Liam had laid it out plainly for them on the first day of recording, pointing accusingly first at Noel, then Bonehead, then Calum, then back to Noel, skipping Tony completely: it’s going to be number fucking one, you hear me, and it’s going to go fucking platinum, and whatever the fuck comes after platinum. It’s going to be fucking mega. ) 

Noel had written some songs while he was in San Diego, one candid acoustic ballad that makes Calum and Bonehead share a slightly alarmed glance when they hear it, and Alan insists that they’re masterpieces, so they head to a studio in Texas to record them. Calum stands with Liam behind the thick glass that separates the live room from the control room, watches as Noel blinks down at his acoustic guitar and sings I wanna talk tonight ‘bout how you saved my life and then looks up at either Calum or Liam, Calum can’t tell, and sings you and me see how we are. It sends a shiver down his spine, the sheer fucking openness of it, and for the first time makes him think shit, what was going through Noel’s head when he was gone? He’s been so preoccupied with their side of it, with Bonehead’s drinking and Tony and Maggie’s conversations and Liam shutting himself in his room that he hadn’t stopped to think about what Noel might have been feeling, about just how literally Noel means you saved my life. 

When the rest of them get back into the studio to record the other songs, though, it feels like something slotting back into place. It reminds them all who they are, what they are, and smooths over the discordance, evens out the dissonance. The five of them come out of it grinning, laughing, shaking their heads at some ridiculous tale Liam’s spinning, and it feels good. For the first time in weeks, giddy with nothing but adrenaline and love, Calum feels good. The music’s what makes them, and the music’s what fixes them. It’s an important lesson, that they can go through something like that and stitch up the wounds with a few guitar strings, and it makes them all feel a little more grounded, a little more confident that they’re back on their feet. 

The day of their flight back to the UK, when they’re all still nursing their incredible hangovers from the celebrations of finishing the North American leg of the tour the night before, Calum goes down for breakfast to find Noel and Liam already sat at the table, deep in what looks like a heated conversation. He hesitates for a moment - any conversation with the brothers whispering fiercely like that is likely a conversation he wants no part in - but it’s too late, because Noel’s seen him, and he’s beckoning him over, brows knitted together. 

“What?” Calum says warily, about three feet from the table, far enough away that he can still make a break for it if it devolves into a shouting match. 

“D’you know where we were this morning?” Noel says. Calum shrugs. He doesn’t even know where they are now, let alone where Noel and Liam might have disappeared to before he was awake. 

“We had a radio interview,” Liam says. Calum’s not sure why he’s supposed to care about that. 

“With Blur,” Noel adds, and Calum’s stomach drops. 

What the fuck? 

“What the fuck?” Calum says, trying his best to school his features into something neutral, feeling the two identical sets of blue eyes scrutinising him, watching for a reaction. “Why- what? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“We didn’t know,” Liam says, a little coolly, and takes a sip of his tea, eyes still on Calum to see how he reacts. 

“What happened?” 

“What the fuck was s’posed to happen?” Noel says, raising an eyebrow. “We did the fucking interview.” 

“Without calling them cunts?” 

“‘Course,” Liam says, pulling a cigarette out of the packet lying between himself and Noel on the table. “We’re fucking professionals, we are.” Calum snorts. The most professional thing either of them have done is turn up to a bus call only twenty minutes late. 

“You did call Damon a prick,” Noel says mildly to Liam, who waves the hand that isn’t flicking his lighter dismissively. 

“Cal asked about cunt, though, didn’t he?” he mumbles around his cigarette, and Calum and Noel both roll their eyes, Calum huffing out a laugh and Noel tutting, both edged with fondness. 

“The Sun’s going to have a fucking field day,” Calum says, deciding it’s safe enough to sit down. The two of them don’t seem in too bad of a mood; in fact, they seem a little too calm, both of them looking at Calum with almost blank expressions, heads tilted one way. “What?” Calum adds, a little defensively, and Liam leans forwards, taking the cigarette out of his mouth just so he can speak properly. 

“Mike was there,” he says, like he’s revealing a big secret that he’s been bursting to tell. Calum’s heart skips a beat, but he keeps his face straight, and just blinks at Liam. So that’s what this is about. He should’ve known, really; it would have been too much to ask for the Gallagher brothers to forget about that part of Calum’s sexual history for, like, two fucking minutes. 

“Well, he’s part of Blur, isn’t he?” Calum says. 

“He asked after you,” Noel says, far too nonchalantly, stirring his tea. Calum swallows, feeling the all-too-familiar guilt surge up in his lungs. He shouldn’t be talking to Michael. He shouldn’t have taken Michael’s number, shouldn’t have learnt it off by heart, shouldn’t have sat in Noel’s empty hotel room and turned to Michael on one of the worst days of his life. And he definitely shouldn’t have done all of that without telling Liam or Noel. 

“Oh,” Calum says. “Well.” He’s not sure what else to say, what else the guilt will even let him say. “What did you say?” Liam throws him a slightly indignant look. 

“Told him to fuck off, obviously,” he says, like he’s a little offended Calum’s even asked. “Not telling him fuck all about you, am I?” God. If it were anyone else they were talking about, Calum would feel a pure rush of love for Liam, at the fact he’s so unquestioningly and unnecessarily protective of Calum, but because it’s Michael, a huge surge of guilt washes over the love that rises in him, lapping at his veins before the love can get there. 

“Oh,” Calum says again, and Liam just turns back to his tea, clearly thinking the conversation’s over, that what needed to be said has been said and satisfied with Calum’s response. Noel, though, is still looking at Calum, something too perceptive in his cool blue eyes. 

“Why would he ask?” he says, and there’s an edge to his voice, something cold and challenging. 

“What d’you mean?” Calum says, holding his gaze, trying to push all the panic rising in his chest back before it reaches his eyes. Shit, what the fuck had Michael said? Did he mention anything about the phone call? Does Noel know?

“Seems a bit friendly.” Noel’s eyes are carefully blank, expression guarded, not giving anything away, cards held close to his chest. 

“He’s a friendly guy,” Calum says, relieved at how even his voice comes out. “Just because you two are cunts.” At that, Liam looks up again, frowning. 

“Who’s a cunt?” he says, incensed. Calum almost lets out a sigh of relief - if Liam’s back in the conversation, Noel won’t say anything else. At least, not now, he won’t. Calum’s just buying himself time, really; Noel’s going to stew on it, mull it over on late-night bus calls and midday hangovers, and come back to Calum when he thinks he’s got something infallible to slash at Calum’s defences with.

“You are,” Noel tells Liam. 

“You are too,” Calum reminds him, and Noel shrugs. 

“Could be worse,” he says. “Could be Damon Albarn.” Liam snorts, and even Calum has to roll his eyes and shake his head, reaching over for Noel’s tea and pulling it towards him, wanting something to do with his jittery fingers. Noel lets him, even pushes a packet of sugar in his direction because he knows Calum can’t stand drinking tea unless it’s immediately going to give him diabetes, and Calum smiles, watching as something a little disarmed crosses Noel’s face for a split second before he schools his features back into that half-irritated, half-challenging expression that’s so Noel he might as well patent it. 

Strange, Calum thinks, as he empties the entire packet of sugar into what’s now his tea. Noel doesn’t have chinks in his armour, not really. At least, not when it comes to anyone whose name doesn’t start with an ‘L’ and end with an ‘iam’, and last time Calum checked, he wasn’t a loud-mouthed twat from Manchester that Noel’s been exasperatedly hauling out of trouble for the past two decades. He doesn’t really have time to wonder what it’s about, though, because then Liam’s sighing loudly, raising his hand to catch the nearest waiter’s attention, and saying: “Alright, mate, don’t happen to know where the best place to score coke around here is, do you?” 

“Liam,” Noel says warningly, the well-worn older-brother irritation already lacing his tone, and Liam just shoots him a what? sort of look, as the waiter stares back at them. 

“Coke?” he asks, a little hesitantly, like he’s sure he’s misunderstanding what Liam’s asking. 

“Yeah, mate, y’know, the old Colombian marching powder,” Liam says, nodding his head, like this is a perfectly normal conversation to have with a waiter at ten in the morning. 

“I- uh, sir, I’m not sure-” the waiter starts, a little nervously, and Liam leans forwards. 

“Cocaine, mate,” he says slowly, clearly thinking the waiter’s not caught on, like that’s the only possible explanation for why he’s not immediately gone oh, yeah, ‘course, hang on, let me my local dealer on the line.

“Piss off, Liam,” Noel says, a definite note of annoyance in his voice now, and Liam’s like a shark to blood, turns away from the waiter, all thoughts of getting whatever white powder he can procure up his nose forgotten as he spots a new drug of choice; arguing with Noel. It’s something Calum’s seen a hundred times, the way Liam will find a gap in Noel’s defences and worm his way in, make a home under Noel’s skin just for a few minutes of his attention, and it’s not something he fancies sticking around to watch, knowing it’ll end with fists flying with no regard for who might be caught in the crossfire.

“I’m going back up,” he says, even though he hasn’t eaten yet, but neither Noel or Liam are listening anymore, already caught in a half-hissed, half-yelled conversation about whether it’s inappropriate or street-smart to ask a random local guy for coke plugs at his job, Liam, at his fucking job, and do you know how many fucking hotels we’ve been kicked out of because of you so far this year? Liam’s raising his voice as Calum walks out of the room, shouting something about me? It’s not just me, you prick, you were in fucking Sweden as well, right, and you’re the one who took off to fucking San Diego, what the fuck else was I going to do while we all waited for you to stop being such a pathetic little cunt? , and Calum knows he’s left just in time when he hears the sound of crockery shattering in the distance as he jogs back up the stairs to his room. He doesn’t really mind, though, doesn’t care if they get kicked out of this hotel too, because all he can think, heart pounding, is why the fuck did Michael ask after me, when the last thing he might have heard is me calling him ‘no one’?

He doesn’t even get time to think about that, though, because Bonehead’s on his way down as Calum’s on his way up, and he blocks Calum’s path and insists Calum join him on a walk to the supermarket because the amount of beer he’s going to have to drink to deal with the brothers on an eight hour flight back home needs two people to carry it. Calum thinks shit, he’s right, so they fetch Tony to carry all the alcohol Calum’s going to need to drink too, and then spend the walk to the shop and the entire time traipsing around it arguing about whether or not Tony should get any of the alcohol they’re loading into their arms. Calum weighs in for the first ten minutes, but it becomes clear Bonehead and Tony are just looking to fight about something, so Calum draws back and lets them have at each other, walks next to them and lets the sound of their rowing wash over him as his thoughts turn back to Michael.

Did Michael really want to know? Or was it a power play, him saying something to Liam and Noel knowing it would get back to Calum? No, surely not, Calum thinks, as Tony and Bonehead bicker about whether or not Tony deserves at least one of the six-packs Bonehead’s picked up. Michael wouldn’t do that. He’s not that kind of person. 

Maybe Michael isn’t, a little voice in his head says, but maybe Mike is. You don’t know Mike, do you? 

(Calum thrusts one of his six-packs at Tony, suddenly feeling a little too sick to drink.)

  -------

  They head back to Europe in November, first to the UK to record Whatever, and then straight off to France. Noel even manages to make a joke about the Amsterdam ferry incident as they’re waiting to board in Dover, which is as close to saying I forgive you to Liam for the episode as he’s going to get. 

Calum doesn’t speak to Michael for almost two months. He doesn’t want to call first, after the way the last call ended and still uncertain about the whole Michael-Liam-Noel situation, and Michael doesn’t call him. Calum tries not to dwell on it, to think too hard about the sound of the dial tone and the way he’d called Michael no one, but Blur are fucking everywhere. It seems like they’re playing all the same places as Oasis but a few weeks earlier, because every time Calum walks down a French street he’s accosted by blown up images of Michael’s face, moody and pretty, staring down at him from billboards and bus stops and fucking lampposts. 

It’s one of those posters stuck haphazardly onto a lamppost in Berlin that Calum sees, a few hours before they’re due to play a show, that reminds him, with a jolt, what the date is. 

The twentieth of November. 

Michael’s birthday. 

Calum’s almost taken aback that he remembers. He’d forgotten for the past three or four years - the date had passed him by without so much as a second glance - and the thought makes him feel a little guilty, a little sick, like he’s broken a promise to himself that he never even knew he made. 

There’s a little phone booth next to the lamppost that looks like it might not even be working, and Calum finds himself striding in that direction, fumbling in his pocket for the few German coins he’d been given. It’s nothing, he tells himself, as he starts dialling Michael’s number. It’s just polite to wish someone a happy birthday. It doesn’t mean anything. 

It only takes two rings for someone to pick up, a soft click and a moment of silence at the other end of the line.

“Hello?” It’s not Michael; it’s a woman. Maybe Michael has a house-sitter? Calum’s pretty sure Michael must be loaded now, right, if he’s in Blur? He’s probably not pissing all his royalties away on drink and drugs. They probably have a group accountant to manage everything for them, rather than Noel cuffing them all upside the head and going eeyar, yous need to start buying cheaper coke.  

“Oh,” Calum says. “Uh. I’m looking for Michael?” 

“He’s in Japan at the moment,” the woman says. Her voice is sweet and warm, almost comforting, and oddly familiar. It’s probably just the Australian accent, Calum thinks. Anyone with an Australian accent has sounded familiar to him since he left.

“Oh,” Calum says again. He should’ve guessed, really. Of course Michael’s not at home. He’s in a fucking band. In Blur, no less. Of course he’s on tour. 

“May I ask who’s calling?” the woman says. Calum hesitates. 

“Just a friend,” he says, a little evasively. “Just- uh. Wanted to wish him a happy birthday, is all.” 

“Oh, that’s lovely,” the woman says, and she sounds like she’s smiling. “I can give you the number of his hotel room in Japan, if you’d like.” 

“I-” Calum’s not sure what to say to that. He might be sending a message he’s not entirely sure he wants to send if Michael finds out Calum had called his house first, and then got the number for his hotel in Japan. 

“Or I can pass along a message?” the woman offers. “What’s the name?” Calum bites his lip. It can’t hurt, he thinks. It’s not like Michael will have spoken about Calum to anyone who’s known him in the past few years, if he hadn’t told his own bandmates. 

“Yeah,” Calum says. “Yeah, that’d be good, thanks. It’s Calum.” The woman lets out a little gasp. 

“Calum Hood?” she says, and Calum’s stomach drops. "I should have recognised your voice! You've lost your accent, haven't you?"

“Uh,” he says intelligently, but she’s already started talking again. 

“It’s Karen,” she says. 

Oh, fucking hell. 

“Oh,” Calum says. Fuck. Jesus Christ. Of course it’s Michael’s mum. Of course Michael wouldn’t get a fucking house-sitter, rich and in Blur or not. It’s oddly steadying, though, that in this instance at least Michael’s Michael and not Mike, makes something electric shoot through Calum as he thinks maybe I still know enough of him. “Uh. Hi?” 

“I didn’t know you and Michael were still in contact,” she says, and he can hear the grin in her voice, how happy she sounds about it. It makes his stomach twist in guilt, heavy and leaden. 

“Yeah,” Calum says weakly. “Well. Not really. But- y’know. It’s his birthday.” He cringes at his own words, stilted and uncomfortable, but Karen doesn’t seem to notice. 

“I’m sure he’ll want to hear from you himself,” she says jovially. “I’ll give you his number, hang on a minute.”

“Actually, I-”

“Yes, here it is. Have you got a pen and paper?”

“I don’t-” Calum breaks off, looking wildly around him, and picks up the pen on the top of the telephone keypad, scratching it against the sign that tells him how much of his money he’s pissing away on this phone call. He’s roped into this, now, isn’t he? Karen will tell Michael Calum called, and if Calum doesn’t call Michael after telling Karen he would, it’ll look suspicious. Or it’ll look like he doesn’t care enough, which, with their fragile balance and Calum not knowing where Michael’s head’s at, is the last thing he wants. 

“Okay. It’s oh-one-two,” Karen begins, and Calum nods along as she reels off the number for him, phone wedged between his ear and his shoulder as he forces the last of the ink from the pen onto his hand. “Oh, and the country code is zero-zero-eight-one.” Great. Now he can’t even use that as an excuse. 

“Thanks,” Calum says, hoping it comes out genuine and not sarcastic. “I’ll, uh. I’ll call him, then.” 

“Do,” Karen says, and Calum can tell she’s positively beaming. God, he’s a terrible person. “I’m so happy you called, Calum. I should have known you two would have stayed in contact and not let any of this Blur versus Oasis nonsense get in the way of your friendship.” 

“Yeah,” Calum says feebly, feeling guilt tap insistently at his lungs, waiting to be let in. “Well. It was nice talking to you?” He’s not sure how to end a phone call that isn’t either a polite speak to you soon or an exasperated Liam, you cunt, don’t you fucking hang up on m- 

“Of course!” Karen says brightly. “I’m very proud of you, Calum. Y’know, I remember you getting your first ever guitar, and look at you now. I’m glad you kept your head screwed on straight.” Calum thinks of the three thin white lines Liam had cut for him earlier that are probably still in his bloodstream, and winces. 

“Yeah,” he says, trying for grateful. “I, uh, I try. Thank you.” 

“I’m sure I’ll speak to you soon,” Karen says. “I hope you manage to catch Michael!” 

“Thanks,” Calum says again, and hopes he doesn’t sound like he wants to gouge his own eyes out. Karen doesn’t seem to notice, though, just chirps a happy goodbye! and leaves Calum to stare at the telephone keypad, holding the receiver loosely in his hand, like he can’t really believe what’s just happened. 

Well, fuck. Now he’s got to call fucking Japan. 

Calum sighs and starts dialling the number, sending out prayers that Noel’s got some really big fucking tunes up his sleeve for the next album to pay for this call. It rings three times, and then there’s a click as someone picks up. 

“Hello?” It’s not Michael. Jesus Christ. Why the fuck is wishing someone a happy birthday this much of an ordeal?

“Is Michael there?” he asks. There’s a short pause. 

“Who’s calling?”

“A friend,” Calum says. “Who’s this?”

“Graham.” Which one was that? The one with glasses, right? The other guitarist? 

“Right. Is Michael around?” 

“Depends on who’s calling.” Calum sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose. Wishing someone a happy birthday really shouldn’t be this fucking hard.

“It’s Calum,” he mumbles. “From Oasis,” he adds, in case Michael happens to have met a few more Calums in the past couple of years. 

“What the hell are you calling for?” 

“Why the hell d’you think?” Calum knows he sounds hostile, but he doesn’t care, not when the nervousness that had been contained in his stomach is starting to seep out into his bloodstream.

There’s another pause. 

“Alright,” Graham says, but he still sounds suspicious. There’s a rustling sound, and then Calum hears him yell Mike! Calum’s on the phone for you. Yes, Oasis Calum, d’you know any other Calums? Well, okay, yeah, but you haven’t spoken to him since last Chri-

Every second feels like an eternity - although that’s probably at least slightly to do with the fact that he’s spending his entire month’s pay on this call - but eventually there’s more rustling, some fierce muttering that Calum can’t understand beyond - in the bathroom, you dick, and then the sound of a phone being lifted to someone’s ear. 

“Calum?” Michael says, and there are footsteps, like he’s walking as far away from the handset as possible. 

“Happy birthday,” Calum says lamely. All of this for those two words. It feels incredibly anticlimactic. 

“Oh,” Michael says, and he sounds surprised. “I mean. Thanks. I didn’t think you’d remember.” Neither did Calum. 

“Well,” Calum says, because he doesn’t want to say that. “Just wanted to call and- uh, say happy birthday, I guess.” 

“How’d you get this number?” Michael asks, sounding curious. Calum bites his lip. 

“Your mum gave it to me,” he says. 

“You rang my house?” 

“Well, it’s the only number I have for you, isn’t it?” 

“Did you tell her it was you?” 

“Yeah.” Michael exhales heavily. 

“I haven’t told her,” he admits. “That we’re talking again. Or- y’know. I just haven’t mentioned.” 

“I know,” Calum says. “She was surprised that I called.”

“What did she say?” Michael asks. Calum swallows. 

“Just, y’know, nice to hear from me, she’s glad I called, all that,” he says vaguely. Michael hums, like he’s mulling it over, and Calum’s stomach flips. Maybe he shouldn’t have called at all. Maybe Michael wants Calum to be his dirty little secret just as much as Calum wants Michael to be his. After all, Calum’s own mum doesn't know either, does she? It’d be hypocritical of Calum to hold it against Michael if he wanted to keep it under wraps too. 

(It still kind of stings, though.)

“I’m going to get a fucking Spanish Inquisition when I get home,” Michael says eventually, and Calum huffs out a laugh, stomach untangling itself a little from the tight knot it’s been in for the past five minutes. 

“Yeah, probably,” he says, the ghost of a smile flitting across his face as he thinks back to being grilled and reprimanded by Karen any time she got so much as a whiff of a secret from either of them. “D’you remember that time she thought we-”

“Remember when she thought we’d been out smoking weed?” Michael blurts at the same time, and Calum can’t help but smile properly this time, heart somersaulting at the fact that Michael remembers too. 

“She was so angry,” Calum says, through a grin. “Kept saying she could smell it on you.”

“Fucking crazy woman,” Michael says, but Calum can hear that he’s grinning too. “We couldn’t afford weed, what was she on about? We hadn’t even been drinking, just been-” he cuts himself off abruptly, and the smile drops off Calum’s face. 

They’d been fucking, is what they’d been doing.

“Good thing she didn’t smell that on us,” Calum tries, and Michael huffs out a small laugh, but it’s tight and uncomfortable. Neither of them speak again for a moment, the silence awkward and palpable, until Michael sighs. 

“What are we doing?” he mumbles, sounding a little pained. 

“I’m wishing you a happy birthday,” Calum says, because he doesn’t want to follow the road that Michael’s words are beckoning him down.

“You know what I mean,” Michael says. “We need to talk.” Calum’s stomach twists. Those words are never followed by any good conversations. 

“Do we?” he says, hoping it doesn’t sound as apprehensive to Michael as it does to him. He doesn’t want to talk. He doesn’t want to have that conversation, to hear Michael say you fucked up, and this is it, doesn’t want to have to go all the way to see him just to hear him say I don’t want you anymore.  

“When are you back in the UK?” 

“December,” Calum says. “Late December. Near Christmas, I think. I’ll have to ask Maggie.” 

“Maggie?”

“Our tour manager.” 

“Oh.” There’s a moment of silence. “Well. Call me when you’re back?” 

“Look,” Calum says, a little desperately, clutching the receiver to his ear. “I- if you want to, like, end whatever this is, not talk to me anymore, I’d rather you just do it now. I don’t want to travel all the way to London for you to tell me you never want to speak to me again.” Michael inhales, and doesn’t exhale. 

“I didn’t say that,” he says carefully, after a minute. “But we need to talk.” Calum blinks at the telephone keypad. He’s not sure what to make of that. 

“Okay,” he says. “I- uh, yeah. Okay. I’ll call you when I’m back home?” 

“Yeah,” Michael says. He pauses, and then adds: “I should go. I locked Graham in the bathroom to take this call.” Calum can’t help the snort that escapes him. 

“I should try that on Liam,” he says. 

“I think it’d take more than a bathroom door to contain Liam Gallagher,” Michael says. He’s got a point. 

“You’ve got a point,” Calum concedes, and he hears Michael huff out a small laugh at the other end of the line, crackled and tinny but genuine and soft. “I should probably go too. I’ve got a show in a few hours.” 

“Where?” 

“Berlin.” Michael hums. 

“We played there a few weeks ago,” he says. 

“I know,” Calum says, without thinking. “Uh. I mean. The posters are all still up.” 

“Surprised Liam and Noel haven’t gone around tearing them all down,” Michael says, and Calum can hear the smile in his voice. 

“I think they’re planning on pasting posters of us over you.” 

“Hope they have a lot of them.” Calum grins, eyeing the three Blur posters he can see in his line of vision. 

“That’ll be my entire share of the royalties gone,” he says, and Michael snorts. 

“I really should go,” he says, sounding a little regretful. “I’ve got to spend at least half an hour convincing Graham not to tell Damon I locked him in a bathroom to talk to you.” 

“Why?” Calum’s not sure why he asks, because he’s fairly certain he doesn’t want to hear the answer. Because I don’t want anyone to know we’re talking. Because I want to keep you a secret. Because I’m ashamed of you. It’s even worse because he can’t blame Michael for it.

“If I do anything to Graham, Damon takes it as a personal attack.” Oh. Well. That probably shouldn’t make something warm blossom in Calum’s stomach, the fact that it’s not because of him, but it does. 

“Damon doesn’t seem particularly intimidating,” Calum says. 

“You fucking wait,” Michael says, and there’s a fondness to his tone that makes Calum’s heart ache, because Michael used to talk about him like that. “Call me when you’re back in the UK, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Calum says. “Bye, Michael.” He’s expecting a click, the thin sound of the dial tone, but it doesn’t come. 

“I’m glad you called,” Michael says after a moment, all in a rush, like he’s had to build up the nerve to say it. 

“I’m glad I did, too,” Calum says, and he can’t help the small smile playing at his lips. Michael’s glad he called. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Michael says. 

“Yeah,” Calum says, smile slipping off his face as his stomach flips unpleasantly thinking of the inevitable conversation. “Soon.” 

The dial tone rings loud and harsh, and Calum listens to it for a good few moments before putting the phone down and stepping out of the booth. Three Michaels stare at him from different angles as he heads back for the hotel, declaring something in German that he can’t read, eyes seeming to follow Calum as he turns the corner. They seem almost disapproving, like they know Calum doesn’t want to talk. Or maybe that’s Calum’s guilt-ridden imagination. 

Well, Calum thinks, stomach flipping as his eyes find another picture of Michael plastered to a lamppost. At least they aren’t posters of Noel and Liam, in that case. 

  -------

  December comes far too soon. 

The album goes platinum while they’re in Southampton, or maybe Sheffield, and Calum joins the rest of the band at some grimy nightclub, drunk and high and full of adrenaline because shit, that’s their fucking album. Number one and platinum, fucking hell. It doesn’t feel fucking real.

They film a video for Whatever somewhere in London, and Noel turns up late to the filming, still dressed in his clothes from the night before, so drunk that he can barely play his guitar. Liam’s fucking furious, probably because this is the first time Noel’s ever been drunker than him, and Calum has to spend the rest of the day making sure Liam doesn’t go into the same room as Noel, because they still have a few weeks worth of dates in the UK and they could do with having both the lead guitarist and singer alive for them. 

The UK dates pass so fast in blurs of games of Frustration on the tour bus as green and grey whip past the window that Calum barely notices that it’s their week off until he sees a river that looks suspiciously like the Mersey and asks Noel where they are. 

(“Liverpool,” Noel says, throwing him a strange look. 

“We’re going home tomorrow,” Liam adds.

“Too right you’re fucking going home,” Noel says. “Not fucking kipping at mine again.” Liam scowls, opens his mouth with an indignant expression, and Calum decides now’s a great time to find Alan and ask him about the re-stringing of Calum’s bass he’d said he’d sort out before the gig.) 

He’s so exhausted after their last show, having his first proper comedown in weeks, that he can’t do anything but crash through the front door and stumble to his bed at six in the morning. He sleeps like the fucking dead, and by the time he gets up and showers, feeling a bit more alive than he has done the past few days, it’s nearly dark outside. 

“Good morning,” his mum says pointedly, when he wanders into the kitchen, yawning, and pulls open the fridge. 

“Morning,” Calum says, pulling out a beer and some leftover pasta. “Where’s Dad?” 

“Gone fishing,” his mum says. Calum grunts to let her know he’s acknowledged it, and heads to the microwave. 

“Liam called earlier,” his mum says, as he presses some random buttons - he really should figure out how this microwave works - and then sets it off. 

“Oh?” Calum says. 

“He was asking if you wanted to come round tonight,” his mum says. Calum hums, frowning a little. Liam’s not very good at being on his own, no one to take his endless energy out on now that both Paul and Noel have moved out, but he can usually take at least a day or two. 

“Might do,” he says, because there might be something more to it if Liam’s already itching to see him again after less than twenty-four hours, and then sees the disappointed look on his mum’s face. “After dinner?” Her face clears, and she nods. 

“We’ll be eating around seven,” she says. “Oh, and another bit of wall’s fallen in. Could you take a look?” Calum groans, and tips his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. 

“Fucking hell,” he mutters under his breath, drawing out the first syllable. His mum tuts, and the microwave dings. “Yeah, alright.” He opens his eyes and reaches for the microwave. 

“Michael called, too,” his mum says, and Calum swears again as the plate drops out of his hand and crashes to the floor, smashing to pieces and dropping hot, steaming pasta everywhere. His mum jumps out of the way, swears loudly, and says: “Bloody hell, Calum.”

“Sorry,” Calum says, scrambling to his knees to try and pick up as many pieces of plate as he can. “It was hot.” His cheeks are burning, partially from embarrassment and partially from whatever’s making his heart race like it is, and he stares steadfastly at the floor as he shuffles around. 

“What did he want?” Calum asks, as casually as he can, speaking to the floor. 

“He didn’t say,” his mum says. She hesitates, and then adds: “What’s going on with you two?” Fuck if Calum knows. 

“I don’t know,” Calum says, still not looking at her. He doesn’t want to see the inevitable disapproving look on her face, the motherly instinct to stop him doing something that’s probably just going to get him hurt etched on her features.  

“When did you start speaking again?” Calum hesitates, hand hovering over a shard of ceramic. He’s not really sure himself. Would it be the awards show? Or Glastonbury? Or that first phone call a few weeks later? It’d be Glastonbury, he supposes, because Michael hadn’t even acknowledged his existence at the awards show, couldn’t even look Calum in the eye. Glastonbury had been the first time Michael had admitted to the both of them that he still remembered Calum. 

“Glastonbury,” he says, and his mum inhales sharply. 

“Why didn’t you say?” she asks. Calum sits back on his heels, looking up at her, and shrugs. 

“I didn’t know how,” he says, which is sort of the truth. He leaves out the fact that he hadn’t really wanted to tell her, had wanted to squirrel it away, the last little piece of Michael that he could have to himself. 

Her expression softens, and she purses her lips, a little sadly. 

“Be careful with him,” she says, and Calum’s not sure whether she means Calum should protect himself or protect Michael. After all, she’d seen all the unopened letters Michael had sent.

“Yeah,” he says, looking back down at the pasta still spread across the floor. It feels sort of fitting, somehow. “I’ll try.” His mum sighs, and pushes herself off the kitchen counter she’s been leaning against. 

“Go,” she says. “I’ll clean this up.” 

“No, it’s alright, I-”

“Go,” she says, a little more sternly, and Calum gets to his knees, wiping his hands and dusting his knees off. 

“Alright,” he says. “I’ll just-” 

“Call him,” she says. He hates that she knows him so well. 

Calum heads out for the phone in the hallway, not wanting to take the call in the living room or kitchen where his mum might eavesdrop, and dials Michael’s number. He twirls the cord around his finger while it rings three times, until there’s a click and someone picks up.

“Hello?” 

“Hi.”

“Oh,” Michael says. “Hi. Your mum said you were asleep.” 

“Yeah,” Calum says, a little apologetically. “I didn’t get up until, like, half an hour ago. We played our last show for a while yesterday.” 

“Oh,” Michael says again, a note of recognition in his voice. Of course, Calum thinks; Michael’ll know what last shows - particularly home shows - are like. “Well. I just wanted to see if you were home, really.” He doesn’t say why, but they both know. 

“I am ‘til the twenty-seventh,” Calum says. Michael hums. 

“When can you come down?” Calum exhales heavily. He could go down any day, really. Tomorrow, if Michael wanted. He’s not sure whether he should just get it over with, or whether he should make the most of the last few days that he might have with the secret feeling of maybe there’s still hope. It’s been six months; he can probably stand a few more days of anticipation. But then again, it’ll be better to get it out of the way now, to have as long before Christmas as he can to gather himself after whatever Michael will throw his way so that it’s not overshadowing the few days his parents will get with him before he’s off again. 

“Tomorrow?” he offers, a little tentatively. He’s not sure whether it seems a bit too keen. 

“Yeah, tomorrow’s good,” Michael says. 

“I can be in London for twelve?” He winces, thinking about how early he’s going to have to get up for that. 

“Twelve works. Where d’you come in?” 

“Euston.” 

“Can you get to Camden?” Michael asks. “Or d’you want me to pick you up?” 

“No, I can get there,” Calum says, even though he’s not entirely sure he can. 

“Alright. I’ll give you my address, hang on-” there’s scrambling at the other end of the line. 

“D’you not know your own address?” 

“I- well, sort of, but-” Calum can’t help but laugh. “Fuck you,” Michael says, but Calum can hear he’s smiling too. “You got a pen and paper?” 

“Yeah,” Calum says. Michael reels off an address, postcode and all, and Calum dutifully jots it down, only stopping him once to ask whether he’d said D or E. 

“Alright,” Calum says, re-capping the pen and tearing the sheet of paper off the pad next to the phone. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” 

“See you tomorrow,” Michael echoes, and Calum only hesitates for a moment before hanging up. It feels strange, he thinks, not to hear the dial tone ringing in his ear, one last reminder of Michael even after he’s gone.

(He wonders whether Michael lingered like he always does.) 

  -------

  Liam ends up coming round for dinner, sounding relieved and grateful when Calum calls him and offers, making Calum frown and file the information away to quiz him on later. Calum’s mum rolls her eyes and makes exasperated noises when Calum tells her he’s coming, because now I have to make dinner for four people, Calum, couldn’t you have told me a bit earlier? but Calum knows she doesn’t really mind. Brash and corrosive though Liam can be, he’s got a childlike charm to him that captivates anybody who meets him, Calum’s parents included. They spend dinner laughing at stories Liam tells about tour, exaggerated and carefully skipping over all the drug use, and Calum’s mum even waves them away when they go to help wash up, tells them with a smile to head to the pub, go on, enjoy yourselves, you deserve it. 

“I fucking love your mam,” Liam says, practically skipping as they walk down the dark street to the pub. He’s not even wearing a coat, the fucking madman. Calum huddles further into his own, nosing into the collar of it as the cold wind whips at him. 

“You’re just saying that because she made your favourite pasta,” Calum says, and Liam turns back to him and grins. 

“Didn’t hurt,” he says. “C’mon, it’s cold.” 

“Why the fuck didn’t you bring a coat?” Liam shrugs, hopping from foot to foot. Calum’s not sure whether it’s because he’s cold, or because he’s Liam. 

“Nearly there, anyway,” Liam says, as they round the corner to the street the pub’s on. “Mam gave me a tenner for drinks.” Calum snorts. 

“Why’s your mum giving you money for drinks?” he says. “You’ve got a fucking number one album.” Liam grins. 

“Still the youngest kid, though, aren’t I?” he says, eyes twinkling. He’s got a point. Peggy would never give Noel a tenner for the pub. 

“Y’know, I can see why Noel hates you,” Calum comments, and Liam’s grin widens as he pushes open the door of the pub. 

It’s warm inside, and Calum says he’ll get them a table if Liam gets the drinks, which Liam doesn’t want to do until he sees a pretty girl tending the bar, and then he’s off like a shot. Calum squeezes between a bunch of tipsy men laughing far too loudly into a table in the back corner, wrinkling his nose as he steadies himself on the table and comes into contact with something sticky. Gross. 

Liam, inevitably, takes a good twenty minutes to come back with the drinks and a phone number tucked into his shirt pocket, grinning and eyes twinkling as he sets Calum’s pint down opposite him. 

“Took your fucking time,” Calum says, raising an eyebrow, and lifts the pint to his lips. 

“Did you fucking see her?” Liam says. “‘Course I took my bloody time.” He takes a sip from his own pint, and then nods at Calum’s. “You owe me for that.” 

“No I don’t,” Calum says. Liam scowls at him.

“That’s your fucking Christmas present then,” he says, and Calum rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling into his beer.

They drink in comfortable silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. Calum’s enjoying the warmth of the pub, the familiarity, the way it feels a little like home. He wonders whether Sydney would feel foreign to him now, whether he’d still love the feeling of the warm sand under his feet at Christmas. 

“We used to go to the beach at Christmas,” he says, without thinking. Liam shoots him a strange look, before his face clears. 

“Oh, ‘s all the wrong way round down there, innit?” he says, like he’s just remembered. “Must be weird for you, Christmas being cold.” Calum shrugs. 

“It was at first,” he says. “I’m used to it now.” 

“Oh aye?” Liam sounds genuinely interested, so Calum carries on. 

“Yeah,” he says, with another shrug. “I never saw snow until I moved here.” 

“Did it freak you out?” Liam asks. “Seeing things all white, and that.” Calum blinks at him. 

“What?” 

“Well, if you’d never seen snow, what’d you think all the white stuff was?”

“I knew what snow was, you fucking idiot,” Calum says incredulously. “Fucking hell.” 

“Well, how the fuck am I meant to know that?” Liam says defensively. 

“You ever seen a camel? You think camels don’t exist?” 

“ Yeah, but-”

“You thought I didn’t know what snow was?” 

“How the fuck am I meant to know what they do and don’t teach you in Australia?” Liam demands, and Calum snorts and shakes his head. 

“You’re fucking unbelievable,” Calum says, even though Liam thinking Calum didn’t know what snow was until he moved to the UK is entirely believable. Liam scowls, but it’s good-natured. 

“Fuck you,” he says. “You wait, I’m going to fucking leave you in Australia when we tour there.” 

“You wouldn’t last a minute without me,” Calum says confidently. “Who’ll save you from the bities?” 

“The fucking what? Bikeys?” 

“Or the freshies and salties?” 

“What? Those aren’t words. You’re fucking making this up, you are.” Calum laughs, and Liam folds his arms, resting his elbows on the table.

“Watch it,” Calum says, nodding at his elbows. “Table’s sticky.” Liam looks down, and grimaces, unsticking himself from the table. 

“Couldn’t’ve told me that before, could you, you prick?” he grumbles, dusting off his elbows, like it’s going to get rid of the stale beer. 

“Didn’t know you were going to put your fucking elbows down, did I?” Calum says, and Liam just sticks two fingers up at him as he reaches for his drink again, making Calum grin in response and wink at him over the rim of his own glass. 

They drink in silence for a while, listening to the chatter in the pub as they let the cosy atmosphere and the drinks warm them from the inside out. It’s nice, Calum thinks, downing the last of his pint. He hasn’t been alone with Liam in God knows how long, been stuck on tour buses and in planes with him and at least five other people for far too long, and he realises just how much he’s really missed his one-on-one time with Liam, the easy comfort of a friendship that both of them fall into without even thinking about it, the security of knowing their lives are irrevocably intertwined now. It’s nice that they don’t have to speak, that they can just sit here and drink each other in, just exist alongside each other in quiet peace.

Liam’s not usually this quiet for long, though, usually can’t contain his incessant energy for more than three minute bursts at a time, but Calum knows better than to push. There’s something there, but Liam will say it when he’s ready to say it, and not a moment sooner. Calum’s been burnt one too many times by his own good intentions in that area, so he just sits back, pushes his glass away from himself and waits. It only takes another few minutes of Liam staring down at the bottom of his glass, brows furrowed and deep in thought, until he suddenly says:

“Noel’s moving to London.” The penny drops. 

Ah. 

“Is he?” Calum says, although really, he’s not that surprised. They’re getting somewhere, and Manchester’s not exactly the place for an up-and-coming musician to be based. It’s been at the back of his own mind, but he’s been pushing it aside, preoccupied with too many other more pressing issues to worry about the logistics of moving that far out. 

“Yeah,” Liam says, still staring at the bottom of his glass. 

“You knew he would,” Calum says, trying to make it as gentle as possible. 

“I know,” Liam says. He doesn’t sound as upset about it as Calum had expected, actually. “He’s going to look at houses tomorrow.” Shit. London’s big, though, isn’t it? What are the odds that he’ll bump into Noel? 

“Did he say where?” Calum asks, hoping it comes out casual. He wishes he had another pint in front of him, wanting something to do with his hands and feeling just how sober he is all of a sudden, so used to either being on a high or a comedown. 

“Yeah, but fuck if I remember,” Liam says, with a shrug. “I’m going with him. Cunt’s making me get up at eight to catch the train.” Oh, fucking brilliant. Two Gallaghers to avoid in London, not just one. Is it too late to call Michael and reschedule? Probably; his mum’ll be listening if he makes a phone call when he gets back from the pub, and he doesn’t want to deal with all those questions. It does explain, though, why Liam doesn’t seem all too torn up about Noel moving so far away; Noel allowing Liam to come and look around with him is a silent acknowledgement that he knows Liam’ll be spending more time there than he will at home, most likely, so it’s got to be a place he likes too. 

“You’re a fucking scrounger,” Calum tells him, knowing Liam will know what he’s talking aout, and the ghost of a smile crosses Liam’s lips, but doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he plays with the rim of his glass. Calum frowns. He’s missing something.

“What?” he asks, and Liam shrugs, a little uncomfortably. He’s feeling something he’s not sure how to articulate, then, something he can’t channel into punches or barbed words. It’s something to do with Noel, because that’s the only topic he never knows how to approach while knowing exactly how to navigate it with his eyes shut and his hands tied behind his back, but it’s not something that Noel’s done, or Calum would be fucking hearing about it, and it’s not something that Liam’s done, or Calum would also be fucking hearing about it, but from Noel. It’s got to be something else, something that Noel doesn’t know about yet, something internal for Liam. Something about him moving to London, maybe, since he’s managed to bring that part up. Something that Liam feels about Noel moving to London, something that’s making him hesitant about accepting that he’s going to be spending a lot of time at Noel’s new place-

Oh. 

“He’s not doing it to get away from you, Liam,” Calum says, and Liam swallows, finger stilling on the rim of his glass for a split second, and Calum watches a little apprehensively as two conflicting emotions flash across Liam’s face; anger, irritated and embarrassed at the fact that Calum’s just called him out on it, and vulnerability, afraid and wanting Calum’s reassurance. Calum knows Liam better than almost anyone, and even he can’t ever tell which way it’s going to go. Luckily for him, though, Liam seems to struggle with himself for a moment before he exhales heavily, and slumps back in his chair.

“You don’t know that,” he says.

“I do,” Calum says. “He’s your brother, Liam.” Liam looks pained at that. 

“Yeah, I know,” he says. “But- y’know. After LA.” He doesn’t say anything else - probably doesn’t know how or what to say - but Calum gets it. Everything had changed after Whiskey-a-Go-Go, shifted a few centimetres to the left, and even though everything’s okay again, it’s a different kind of okay to before. 

“That wasn’t your fault,” Calum says, because it wasn’t. 

“Wasn’t it? I was a right cunt.” 

“You’re always a right cunt,” Calum says, but he doesn’t mean it unkindly, or even teasingly. He means that’s just how you are, and we’re all still here, aren’t we? “And anyway, so was Noel.” Liam has to concede there, tilts his head to indicate yeah, I s’pose.  

“I dunno,” he says, still staring steadfastly at his empty glass. “Maybe he just needs a break from me.” 

“He always needs a break from you,” Calum says. “But he never takes one.” 

“Took one in LA.” 

“Yeah, and then he came back,” Calum says. Liam seems to mull the words over, let them roll around in his mind, see how they feel, but Calum can see from the look on his face that they aren’t quite enough. 

“Maybe you should get your own place in London,” Calum suggests. Liam looks up for the first time, brow furrowed. “Then you could be close, but not too close.” Liam’s brow stays furrowed, but he hums thoughtfully. 

“You think?” he says, sounding a little uncertain. Liam moving out of Manchester is quite a big step, the city etched into his veins like none of the rest of them, but it makes sense. And, Calum thinks, they’ll probably all have to move to London, eventually. It might be better to get it done at the same time as Noel, to have someone who knows how to navigate Liam’s inevitable misplaced temper tantrums at the fucking movers or traffic or furniture shops when he’s really just stressed about the change.

“Yeah,” Calum says. “It’d do you good, anyway, being on your own. Probably do you and Noel a world of good too, not living on top of each other all the time.” Liam scrunches his face up, looking ten years younger than he is, like the annoying little kid that Noel must see him as, and then sighs heavily and nods. 

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, you’re right. Yeah. Might have a look myself tomorrow, then.” Calum swallows. Not in Camden, he thinks as loudly as possible, in case Liam’s psychic. 

“Yeah, do that,” he says out loud. Liam nods again, a little more decisively this time, clearly not listening to Calum’s thoughts, and then grins at Calum, bright and easy, like the past five minutes hadn’t happened at all. 

“You’re getting the next round,” he says, and Calum sighs, all long-suffering, but heaves himself out of his seat, forgetting that the table’s sticky and squawking when he puts his hands down on it to support himself. Liam laughs delightedly, like there’s nothing in the fucking world that brings him more joy than Calum’s misfortune, and Calum scowls good-naturedly and flips him off as he heads in the direction of the bar. 

Well, he thinks, as he jogs down the steps leading up to their seating area and weaves through tables of increasingly tipsy old men laughing far too loudly. At least Liam’s sorted. And London really is big, right? Must be twice the size of Manchester, at least. And he’ll be in Michael’s house, anyway, won’t he? There’s no way he’ll see Noel and Liam there. 

Yeah, he thinks, flagging down the bartender. It’ll be fucking fine. 

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chapter six

[alitaimagines]

“we’ve gotten boyfriend turned ex boyfriend angst with bnha, aot, and hetalia, but do it now with daiya no ace or you a coward.” 

ex! miyuki kazuya, umemiya seiichi x fem! reader

fandom: ace of diamond / daiya no ace

note / song recommendation: what I will not be called is a coward bc I AM NOT A COWARD. also i am so sorry Haruno, I love you but I had to use you. please remember that requests open on Monday! / division - aly and aj

“do it again, I dare you to do it again in front of me.” you whispered as you looked at Haruno and Miyuki with disgust. “You know what? Nevermind, please continue your little affair and I’ll make sure to return after your done.” 

Miyuki stayed silent as Haruno already had tears spilling from her eyes. “You know you could’ve done the right thing and just broken up with me instead of cheating on me with one of your managers.” You had no tears falling from your face. You were more angry than upset. 

Mikyuki climbed off his bed and tried to follow you. “Listen, that meant nothing, it was a heat of the moment thing, I promise.” You chuckled sadly as you turned around to look at him again. 

“Really? Because from the looks of it, you were clearly cheating with the intention of not getting caught! You had her in your dorm, Kazuya!” You screamed, not intending to be loud. “So if that wasn’t the case, explain it to me.” 

Miyuki stayed silent as you gave him a look. If they could kill, he would be dead where he stood. “Exactly, now let me ask you a question.” You said trying not to scream again. “If I hadn’t walked in, would you have gone all the way? Is it because I’m not on the team and you spend more time with her or what?” 

“No but I hardly see you! We could’ve spent more time together if you signed up to be a manager!” Miyuki tried to say but it came off more as a questionable answer than a statement. 

You gave him another deadly look. “I want to repeat your words, “don’t sign up for a managerial position because I don’t want my girlfriend to be caught up in my mess”, or did I make that up?” He felt his throat drying as he swallowed thickly. 

“You know what?” You said as you grabbed a sweater that was stuffed into your book bag. “Take this, give it to Haruno.” You handed him the Seido sweater he gave you on each others first date and walked away without giving him a second look. 

//

“You’re leaving Seido because of Kazuya!” Kuramochi screamed before you clamped a hand over his mouth and whispered to shut the hell up before anyone heard. “You’re lying to me and what you’re telling me is a joke.” 

You shook your head no as you slid him the papers that confirmed your enrollment at Ugumori High School. “It’s not all because of that idiot you call a best friend. My mother got a better job in East Tokyo so why not take the opportunity? I start after summer break if you’re wondering.” 

“Are you dorming at Ugumori?” Kuramochi asked as the two of you sat down on the bench. “Who else knows? I’m assuming just me?” You nodded in response to both questions. 

“You better be telling the truth. If I find out that you left because of that idiot catcher, you’ll be wrestling me on sight every time I see you.” Kuramochi threatened. 

“If I did move schools because of that, it’s no ones business anyway so be lucky I even told you.” You exclaimed. “What makes you think I want to go to a school with my lying cheating ex boyfriend? I can’t even stand to see the sight of him without getting the feeling of jumping him on sight.” 

Kuramochi let out a laugh before realization dawned on his face. “Wait, today is the last day before summer break.” You gave him a saddened smile as you hugged him. “When’s the next time we’ll see you?” 

“Maybe if you guys play Ugumori?” You said questionably. “I know it’s super sudden but might as well take the advantage of starting fresh, you know?” He nodded understandingly. 

“Just promise me you won’t say anything!” You told him as you got up from the bench. “Especially to Miyuki because I don’t want that idiot thinking that I moved schools just because of him.” 

Kuramochi knew the minute you left him, he would be going to Miyuki’s dorm and catching him in some wrestling move but all he did was give you a nod before hugging you again and watching you leave. 

-

“You idiot!” Kuramochi screamed as you slammed the door open. Sawamura, Kominato, and Nori jumped from fear as they watched their shortstop march up to Miyuki and give him a swift punch to the face. “All because you decided to cheat!” 

Miyuki had never once seen this anger accumulate into Kuramochi before. “What the hell are you talking about?” He screamed as he pushed Kuramochi off him. 

“( your name )! Yeah, your ex girlfriend, she moved schools!” He screamed as the entire dorm fell silent. Miyuki tried to move but Kuramochi caught him again but this time by the collar of his t-shirt. “Congratulations, your ex girlfriend moved schools because of your cheating ass!” 

Miyuki looked up at Kuramochi and tried to determine if he was lying or not. “How do you know? She could be lying!” He mentioned as he pushed Kuramochi off him again. 

“She showed me the official papers you imbecile!” Kuramochi screamed as he pointed his finger at Miyuki. “Had she not caught you cheating, she would still be here!” 

“No one asked her to move! She decided that on her own.” Miyuki screamed back as he moved Kuramochi’s finger out of the way. Kuramochi gave Miyuki a surprised expression. “I can’t believe after you cheated on your own girlfriend, the one who actually kept you from acting like an ass most of the time, you’re sitting here playing the victim. Maybe not today or tomorrow but you’ll realize what you lost by cheating on the one consistent person in your life.”  

Miyuki growled. “Why are you so riled up about this? Did you like her or something?” Kuramochi noticed Sawamura starting to stand in the middle of the both of them, maybe out of fear that this would actually turn physical. 

Kuramochi couldn’t help but laugh offendedly. “No but I actually learned the emotion called sympathy. You wouldn’t know that, would you? Next time you decide to get into a relationship, make sure it’s someone you actually like and not someone you’ll throw to the side when you start getting bored of them.”

With a slam of the door, Nori, Sawamura, and Kominato watched the green haired boy leave as Miyuki stood looking at the ground. He knew Kuramochi held several good points but if it was one thing, Miyuki knew his pride was his biggest flaw. 

//

During your winter break, your heart started to heal itself from the heart broken feeling. You knew with starting at Ugumori, it would give you a breath of fresh air and the ability to start all over again. You weren’t exactly looking to get into a relationship while you attended Ugumori but if it presented itself, you wouldn’t mind it. 

You looked up at your classroom as you knocked on the door softly. The door slammed open and the teacher immediately started scolding the student who opened it so harshly. 

“Ah, ( your name )!” She said as she gave you a smile. “Welcome to Ugumori!” 

The entire class waved as she pointed to your seat and decided to save you the embarrassment of having to introduce yourself. 

You knew exactly who was sitting next to you. Being that you were Miyuki’s ex girlfriend, you had heard of the infamous Umemiya Seiichi. The monster pitcher with a wicked curveball. 

He gave you a wink, making you blush as you set your bag next to you. She immediately started talking about how all students who weren’t signed up to a club should do it before they got reprimanded for it. 

A sheet with all the vacant club positions was passed to each student. It was on a first come first serve basis and considering the sheet was given to you first, you got the first chance at any club. 

“Girls soccer.” No. “Body Improvement Club.” Absolutely not. “Ceramics.” No. “Boy’s Baseball Manager.” You thought for a moment before checking yes and handing it off to the person behind you. 

“Welcome to the team, I’m Umemiya but you can call me Seiichi.” You jokingly rolled your eyes as he turned his desk to look at you. “You transferred from Seidou, right?” 

You nodded as a light flared up in his eyes. “So why did you move?” You realized that you had to be honest instead of lying to the poor boy. “My parents got relocated to East Tokyo and I figured I might as well just transfer schools instead of traveling to Seidou everyday.” 

“Wow, so since you are our new manager, we meet everyday after school until seven. After that, we usually all catch dinner together before we head to our dorms.” Umemiya exclaimed excitedly. “I can introduce you to our other manager, Matsubara!” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his excitable attitude. It reminded you a lot of Sawamura, if you wanted to be honest. If you remembered correctly, Umemiya was the one who asked Sawamura if he was God after he ran out of toilet paper once. 

“Let me see if we have the same schedule, I could show you around instead of having some awkward interaction with a student leader.” Umemiya mentioned as you fished your schedule out of your book bag and handed it to him. “We do! That’s awesome! I get to hang out with the cute new girl all day today!” 

You could tell that Umemiya was very much the kind of person who didn’t hold his words back, even if that included making himself flustered because of it. 

“Well, I’m glad that you’re aren’t bothered with having to show me around the school.” You mentioned as you gave him a small smile. You could tell that you made Umemiya’s heart start beating faster as his face turned a bright red. “So, want to head to Modern Lit?” 

Umemiya nodded as he helped you gather your things before telling the student leader that he didn’t have any problem showing you around. 

//

As the weeks kept rolling, so did your time with Umemiya. Being their manager did come with a lot of responsibilities. Not only did you manage the team but you also did have to help the student section with their cheers from time to time. 

You also gained a strong friendship with Matsubara. Umemiya had told you the story about the accident he was involved in. As he told you the story, you couldn’t help but tear up at how passionate Umemiya got about giving Matsubara his last three years of high school to play baseball. 

-

You had sent the entire team, including Matsubara, to dinner a few minutes early. You knew that they were starting to overwork themselves with the fall preliminary games starting up and you didn’t want any of them catch a cold before they started. 

They were playing a few scratch games with any surrounding teams in Tokyo before the actual prelims started. You had the unfortunate luck to find out first that Seidou was going to be one of the scratch games Ugumori had to play. 

“Hey, what are you doing out here? It’s dark and it isn’t safe for a girl to be walking to her dorms by herself at night.” You heard Umemiya said. You rolled your eyes knowing he meant nothing malicious by what he said but you knew how to take care of yourself. “I’m not a child, Seiichi. I can walk back by myself just fine.” 

He could tell that something was bothering you. “Hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” You sighed as you sat down in the dugout. You handed him the folder with all information on the scratch games.

“Read out the team you guys are playing first.” You mentioned as you watched him scan the paper. “Oh hey, we’re playing Seidou! That’s great but why are you upset about it?” 

You sighed as you watched him sit down next to you. “Well, I never got around to mentioning this to you because I figured that it wasn’t important. Another reason why I left Seidou was because I dated their catcher for quiet a long time.” You explained. “Miyuki and I dated right before I transferred and right before I caught him cheating with one of the managers. I mean, I’m over him now but I really don’t feel like seeing his face.” 

Umemiya laughed as he rubbed your back soothingly. “Well for what it’s worth, you deserve a lot better. Your a cute girl with a lot of potential and if he wasn’t able to see that, I know a lot of people who do.” You couldn’t help but laugh as you jokingly asked who did. “Well for starters, me.” 

You whipped your head up at him. “What are you getting at?” He took your hand softly. “I don’t mean to insert myself into this narrative but I’ve been having Nao give me the courage to ask you out. I was thinking that we could go trick or treating this weekend together? Ugumori has a tradition of trick or treating around the dorms every year so we could coordinate costumes if you’d like?” 

“Of course!” You said giving him a bright smile. “We can talk about our costumes tomorrow. I actually have rights to leave campus considering I live on this side of town so we could sneak out and get dinner if you’d like.” 

Umemiya nodded as he gave you a kiss on top of your head. “That sounds perfect.” 

-

The day that the trick or treating around the dorms landed, the both of you decided to go as baseball player. How cliche. You bought a cheap random girl baseball costume from the nearest halloween store and added the Ugumori patches on them. 

Umemiya even gave you the option to wear his first year sweater as the two of you walked around the dorms. His number was slapped on the back and his last name was engraved onto the front. 

The skirt that came with the costume was too short for your liking so you paired the skirt with baseball legging that went up to your knees. To say that Umemiya had to hold himself back from kissing you was an understatement. 

The two of you even convinced Matsubara to join in and he dressed up as a catcher as Umemiya intentionally made himself the pitcher. By the time the trick or treating event was finished, the school faculty invited the students to have a halloween party in the gym.

Both you and Umemiya decided to go as Matsubara excused himself to find the rest of the team, claiming he didn’t want to continue third wheeling the date. 

“Today was fun, wasn’t it?” You asked Umemiya as he nodded. Your hand had already made its way to holding his so you weren’t too subtle on the compliment. “I wish Seidou had done this.” 

Umemiya gave you a smug look. “They might be one of the greatest baseball schools in Tokyo but Ugumori has a great party reputation as well as a great baseball devision.” 

You laughed as the both of you took a turn to make the walk to the dorms last a bit longer. “Yeah, and there’s more where that came from if want to go out again.” You let out a mixture of another laugh but this time you couldn’t contain your squeal. “How would I look denying my boyfriend another date?” 

This time, Umemiya was surprised at your sudden surge of confidence. “Well if that’s the case, my girlfriend now has to agree to every date I take her on.” You gave him a half sarcastic look. “Yeah unless they’re to places I dislike.” You countered as the both of you started laughing. 

The both of you sat down on one of the benches as you cuddled up to Umemiya’s side. His hair was flowing in the wind as you jokingly tried to push it down. “You know that the 1950s are over, right?” He gave you a sharp look. “I like my hair. It’s what attracted the ladies before you came.” 

“Yeah and your hair does not attract me but I’ll let you wear it because you’re so cute.” You said as you looked up to him. He gave you a smug look that made you want to melt in his arms. 

Umemiya leaned in and gave you a kiss but all he was expecting it was to be a quick one. Once you deepened it, he was surprised to say the least. You slowly transitioned yourself to sit on top of his lap as he wrapped his arms around your waist as your legs wrapped around his waist. 

The kiss continued on before you heard a scream from the dorm. “PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION ARE BANNED FROM THE DORMS STARTING RIGHT NOW.” You heard Matsubara say with an undertone of disgust. “NO ONE WANTS TO SEE BOTH OF YOU MAKING OUT IN PUBLIC!” You heard Kondou yell back.  

The two of you started laughing as Umemiya screamed back, “DON’T BE JEALOUS BECAUSE I GOT THE HOTTEST GIRL IN SCHOOL!” They all yelled some form of profanities at him before you got off his lap. 

“Let’s go to sleep before your teammates kill you.” You whispered as you gave him one quick kiss before walking towards the side of the school where the girls stayed. “Goodnight, Seiichi, have fun not getting made fun of tonight.” 

//

The day of the prelim game with Seidou came. You were in the locker room with the boys after the coach gave you the clear that they were all dressed and waiting your instructions. 

“So, this game is just a scratch off game but make sure you try your best because you know Seidou always does.” You mentioned as you let Matsubara continue take over. 

He gave a few instructions to the team before all of you stood up and walked to through the doors of the stadium. Umemiya making sure he held your hand as the team walked into stadium. The cheers from the Ugumori stands were as loud as ever as all of you waved at them. They had cameras towards all of you as you were being broadcasted on the digital board. 

“Hey, it’s ( your name )!” Sawamura exclaimed as they all whipped their head up at the board. “Oh look, she’s holding hands with Umemiya! Good for her!” Kuramochi mentioned as he gave the side eye to Miyuki. 

He stayed quiet as they all went to the field to shake Ugumori’s hand. You sat next to Matsubara, talking quietly as players from both teams shook hands with each other. 

“Hey, have a great game today!” Umemiya said to Miyuki as he got close to his ear. “Because you know ( your name ) is here and she isn’t cheering for you.” He whispered before pulling away and giving him a shit eating grin. 

Umemiya knew this was his chance to give Miyuki his small piece of revenge and every time it was his turn to pitch, he made sure hit his hardest in order to give Miyuki a sore hand tomorrow morning. 

You had no idea of his evil scheme but once the game finished and he told you, you couldn’t help but laugh. You had promised Kuramochi that you would tell him hello before he left so as you scanned the crowd for Kuramochi, Umemiya stood next to you. 

“Hey Yoichi! How have you been?” You exclaimed as you gave him a smile. “You know Umemiya!” Kuramochi nodded as he gave a quick ‘bro’ hug to Umemiya. 

“So are the two of you dating now?” Kuramochi asked. You nodded enthusiastically as you gave Umemiya quick peck, making the cheetah gag. “Yeah, I didn’t need to see that.” You and Umemiya laughed as the three of you chatted amongst each other. 

“Yo, we need to head back to the dugout!” Matsubara screamed to you and Umemiya. 

You gave Kuramochi a quick hug before telling him to text you when he got back to Seidou. 

As the team was loading up the bus to head back, he couldn’t help but notice Miyuki’s dejected look. He knew that Miyuki seen the kiss you gave Umemiya and he knew you had every right to rub it in his face. 

Kuramochi didn’t feel a bit sorry for him and knew that this would be the way Miyuki would learn his lesson. 

ALITA 

[chuckepisodes]

Chuck vs. The Tango Part 3

You were all pulling up to the auction in a big, fancy limo. Before you guys get out of the car though, Sarah hands you two a box. "Here. This is for you both." She said smiling at you two. You and Chuck were a little confused but opened the box. You both got a watch. "Inside the watches is a tracking system. That way you can't run away from me. And if you guys flash on anyone, tell me immediately and then stay out of the way." Sarah said. "Absolutely, yeah." you agreed. " I, uh, I always run from a fight." Chuck said smiling and joking a little. All of a sudden the window rolled down and revealed Casey being the limo driver. "This isn't a joke, Chuck. No one who's ever seen you has lived to tell about it." " Is he being serious? Seriously? What are our chances of getting into trouble?" Chuck asked. "Toughen up, you'll be fine... assuming you two know how to tango." Casey said. "We did some preparation, okay? And by we I mostly mean Chuck as I watched and observed." you said trying not to laugh thinking about that night. "I wouldn't call myself an expert..." Chuck started. "Why would he need to know how to tango? Is that code?" Sarah asked confused. " No, not-- no, he told us that we needed to know how to tango..." Chuck started to explain when all of a sudden both Casey and Sarah smirked at you and Chuck. It was all a joke. "Spy humor, I like that." you said. "One more thing before we go." Sarah all of a sudden pulled out two ring bands. "Since you and Chuck are going to be posing as husband and wife." "Oh... right. Yeah totally!" you said kinda feeling sad because we wished it was real. You and Chuck each grabbed a ring. "Well let's make this fake official" Chuck said sounding sad himself. He grabbed your hand and slid the ring on your finger as you did the same with his ring. Both of you hoping one day this could be real and you can be Mr. and Mrs. Bartowski instead of Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael. After you were both done you and Chuck looked at each other and smiled. Sarah looked at you both feeling sad for you both in a way as well. But it was time to start the mission. "Come on. You ready?" She asked. You and Chuck turned your heads to look at her and nodded. A valet opened the door for you three. Chuck got out first and helped you out of the car and you grabbed Sarah's hand helping her out.

Walking in, you had your arm linked with Chuck's as Sarah was linked with yours. As you were all walking up the stairs, a waiter came by with food and as Chuck went to grab off of it, sauce got on his shirt. "I've been a spy all of five seconds and I already have soy sauce on my shirt." " Well, go and wash it off." You said patting his chest. "And Chuck, stop saying that you're a spy." Sarah added. "Right of course." Chuck said nodding as he went off to the washroom. You smiled and shook your head as you watched Chuck leave. Sarah walked over and stood next to you. You looked over at her and smiled. "You look really pretty tonight Y/N." "Thanks! So do you. And I never did thank you for this dress. It's amazing!" "Oh it was no trouble!" "I thought it was a little much but..." Sarah looked at you giving you a knowing smile. "What?" you asked, a smile appearing on your face. "I may have tried to go a little extra with you to see how Chuck would react seeing you wearing it." "Sarah!" you said playfully smacking her. She laughed a little. You loved how you and Sarah were actually becoming really good friends. "What? Oh come on. What was his reaction when he first saw you?" "Well... I mean... his jaw definitely did drop and said I looked perfect." You said blushing again. "See! You're welcome." you looked at her and laughed.

Not too much longer later you spotted Chuck running up the stairs to the both of you. "Guys! It's him." "Who?" Sarah asked. "La Ciudad." You all saw the man walking around. "Come on." Sarah grabbed your arm as you grabbed Chuck's hand walking up the rest of the stairs. You walked into the main room where the paintings were on display. "I've already identified the perp, as it were, what are we still doing here? I mean, you know, mission accomplished. Time to go." Chuck said. Sarah then turned to the both of you. "Chuck, grab Y/N and go wait at the bar." Sarah instructed. "Go wait...wait at the bar?" you asked. "Yes... and be all married coupley." She said as she walked away. "Okay, you go do what you do. We're going to beat the bar, waiting there. Covering that whole area." Chuck said grabbing your hand leading you to the bar. Chuck lead you to the chair as you sat down and he stood behind you putting his hands on your shoulders. You two were definitely looking like a married couple. "Drinks sir and madam?" Casey said posing as a bartender now. "Yeah, uh... I'd like a martini, barkeep, shaken and stirred. Thank you." " Would you like a cherry with that?" Casey asked sarcastically pulling out a cherry. Chuck gave him a weird look. "And the lady?" "I'll take a glass of merlot." "Absolutely." All of a sudden this guy walked up towards Chuck. "Chuck Bartowski?" Chuck looked at him weird, you were looking up at him trying to figure out who we was and how he knows Chuck and Casey was just staring at Chuck. "No. The name's Carmichael." "Allan Watterman, Stanford?" "Hey, hey, how are you? Hey. Hey, you. Hey." "And who is this gorgeous woman?" he said eyeing you. "Oh! This is my...wife." It felt weird to say it, in a good way, and he actually hopes to call you that for real one day. "Y/N Carmichael." You stuck out your hand a shook his. "Nice to meet you Allan." "Wow... You did real good Chuck. Wait... Is this the Y/N you always talked about in school? Your best friend?" Chuck stared at him wide eyed as you looked up at Chuck smiling. "Uh yes... This is her." Allan looked down at you. "The man never shut up about you. Always talking about how amazing you are and how much he missed you while you were at UCLA." Chuck started to blush hard. You thought it was adorable. "Nice to see Chuck got you in the end." "Yep! She's amazing!" Chuck said trying to stop before he revealed any more and would make blush more and feel more awkward. "So how are you?' "I'm great. I don't know if you heard, I sold out of my software company. Kind of unemployed. Problem is, I'm too young to retire. I'm too rich to work." he said bragging a little. Chuck forced a laugh. "That's quite a pickle you find yourself in, Watterman." "What are you doing now? Besides being married to this gorgeous woman. Last I heard, you were, um, you were fixing computers or something?" "Yeah. You know, just kind of, uh, just kind of weighing my options right now. Uh, you know, I may be getting a managerial position at an electronics conglomerate, so, you know... all right." Chuck said trying to make it sound good. "Well, I always knew you'd make something of yourself." You then both looked over at Sarah and saw her with that man, her trying to get close to him. "Why do you guys keep looking over at that woman?" "Oh! That's just my best friend. Making sure all is okay with her." You said. "Ah! Well she seems to be doing okay. Well, hey, um, give me a call. You know, if you need help with the whole job thing. I know people." "Bet you do, yeah. Yeah." "There you go." he said handing Chuck his business card. All of a sudden we both started to flash looking at his card seeing what his business really was like. "Insider trading and offshore accounts in the Caymans." Chuck said. " What did you just say? Do you work for the sec? I got to go." Allan said all of a sudden freaking out and walking away quickly. "Well that was weird." you said turning back and taking a sip of your drink and Chuck putting his hands back on your shoulders trying to process what happened.

Sometime later, you and Chuck were still at the bar waiting to figure out what to do next. And Chuck was finishing a drink. "Hit me again." He said to Casey. "Alright mister, no more for you." you said jokingly. Casey looked over your heads and saw Sarah being lead out by a couple men, one of them having a gun on her. Casey then hopped on to the bar and looked over at you two. "Stay." and then he took off. "Stay?" you said sounding offended. "Stay... Like a dog." Chuck said looking at you. Chuck all of a sudden stood beside you and held out his hand for you to take. You grabbed it and got out of the chair as you both began to walk around the room and check out the paintings. One painting stood out though and as you both looked at it you both began to flash. You both saw something that was planted inside the back of the painting. You and Chuck looked at each other before he guided you over to the painting to get a better look at it. A woman then appeared next to you both. "Beautiful painting." she said. "Yeah, beautiful. Painting, yeah." Chuck said. " It definitely has a quality about it." " Very, I would say, Bob Rossian in its influence." "Who?" " Bob Ross. Bob Ross, you know, Bob Ross. " "The guy who used to paint on PBS. With the afro and the soothing-- you have no idea what we are talking about." you said trying to explain but failed. "Sorry. " "It won't be the first time." you said. " I'm Malena." " Hi. Chuck. Charles. Charles Carmichael. And this is my wife Y/N Carmichael." "So you don't like the painting?" she asked looking at the both of you. " No, I-I, it seems very lovely. I'm just more interested in the frame, but that-- you don't..." Chuck started to say until his phone started ringing. "So sorry. So sorry about this." Chuck started to say as you looked over to see who could be calling him. "What the Hell could Morgan want right now?" you whispered to Chuck. "Who knows..." Chuck ignored the call and looked over at the woman. " Work never leaves you alone. I'm in the software game so..." "You were saying about the frame?" "Nothing, it doesn't really actually matter, sorry." Chuck said waving it off. "Champagne?" Malena asked as a waiter came by. She grabbed one for herself as Chuck grabbed one for you and him. "Darling." Chuck said handing you a glass. "Thanks." you said giving him a wink. You all clinked glasses before taking a sip. All of a sudden some tango music came on. "I love a tango." Malena said. "Oh, yeah. Who doesn't?" Chuck said. "Do you?" You raised your eyebrow at the woman and then looked over at Chuck knowing where this was going. "Mrs. Carmichael, mind if I steal your husband for a couple minutes." "Oh by all means..." you said giving Chuck a smirk. "Oh what the Hell. Let's give it a shot."

You stood off to the side and watched Chuck try to tango with the woman. You began trying so hard not to laugh again because it seemed Chuck only knew how to the woman's part thanks to Devon. Malena was beginning to get a little handsy though and you began to get real jealous. You decided to walk over and interrupt them. "Mind if I cut in and steal my husband back?" She stared at you and shrugged. You stood in front of Chuck and put one hand on his shoulder and took his other hand as he put one hand on your hip. "Y/N you sure you know how to tango?" "Oh yeah... like I said, I watch and learn.  Want me to lead?" "Yeah sure." You both began to dance and Chuck was amazed at how good you were. Once the dance was over you and Chuck were so close together you could almost kiss. You both stared at each other and leaned in but were interrupted by Malena. You and Chuck cleared your throats and looked back at Malena. As she approached you though you noticed a scar on her neck and Chuck did too and you both began to flash. She was La Ciudad. She had a hand on Chuck's shoulder as she stared at you both. "We need help." You whispered to Chuck, both of you trying to remain calm.

[esther-ti-designs]

Hey everyone, uhh so I have some tea for you all.

So I met this guy (I’ll refer to him as J) during the last meeting of the quarter for the graphic design club last fall.  Here’s everything that happened between December 5 through February 22.

December 5

Honestly, I haven’t noticed J at any of the previous meetings, but that one night, he just came up to me out of the blue and complimented me on my cozy winter gear.

So J and I happened to be taking Intro to Design that quarter and we talked about our group projects for the class, which we just turned in earlier that day (I had just pulled two consecutive all-nighters and had just taken a 3-hour nap prior to the meeting, so I was very sleep deprived at this point).  We continued our conversation while walking down some stairs and outside the building, and he asked me about other clubs that I’m involved in, to which I told him that I’m the secretary and Head of Hufflepuff for the Harry Potter Alliance (HPA) and that I’m also in the ballroom dance club.  He seemed very interested in HPA.  He mentioned that he played second violin in the video game orchestra (VGO) and that they were having a quarterly concert that weekend.  A friend in HPA had promoed the VGO concert the night before, but I wasn’t really interested, as I had no knowledge of video game music.  J and I exchanged Instagram handles and later that night, I answered all of his questions about HPA.  Then on Sunday, sort of at the last minute, I found out that a few friends from HPA were going to the VGO concert and I went along because $5 for a concert is not bad, and I haven’t been to an orchestra performance in a while.  The concert was so much better than I expected!

December 9

Finals week just started and J randomly asked if I was studying on campus 👀

December 11

We met up at a boba shop near my apartment to study for the Intro to Design final (it was raining pretty hard and J refused to have me bike out to campus in the rain).  We studied off a Quizlet set for about 3 hours until my laptop’s battery was running low, and then we talked for another couple hours!  It turns out we have a lot in common!  We’re both only children, 22 years old, left-handed, design majors (J is actually a design and managerial economics double major), and we play the violin (I used to play violin and cello, but I digress).  Oh and we both have an iNTeResTinG injury story haha.  Then, before we went our separate ways, he gave me a one-armed hug, which I couldn’t reciprocate because I had my arms full with a cup of boba and my umbrella.

December 12

J DM’ed me out of the blue asking for my Spotify wrapped up.  I normally don’t give in to trends easily, and this was something I wasn’t really interested in sharing with the entire world, but I shared it with him anyways (Spoiler: It’s mostly Game of Thrones soundtracks, Taylor Swift, and BTS).  Despite being an orchestra nerd, I find it really difficult keeping up with popular music, and my musical taste stays fairly consistent even several years later.  I was kind of expecting him to laugh at my musical taste, but he actually complimented me for liking dramatic tv/film soundtracks.  And then we arranged another study session right before the design final.

December 13

The Intro to Design final was supposed to be 50 questions, all multiple-choice, no trick questions.  It was supposed to be really easy, and I thought we got almost everything down at the previous study session.  So why were we having another study session right before the exam?  I thought either he really wanted an A in the class, or he wanted to see me again before we went on winter break.  Right before going in for the exam, he asked if I wanted to meet up again for a “post-final celebration” when we were done with the exam.  Okay, now I was really starting to think he wanted to spend some more time with me before winter break 👀

So after the design final, we walked down to one of two boba shops on the edge of campus and downtown.  We both ordered our drinks, he got some popcorn chicken, and we talked for four hours!  I can’t remember everything we talked about, but time really flew by.  And then, before we went home, he gave me a one-armed hug again.

December 14

I had plans to fly home to LA today.  I had spent the previous night cleaning my apartment and packing stuff (I managed to forget to bring a pair of sneakers because, for some reason, dumbass me decided to wear heeled boots to the airport because ~fashion~).  I was sitting in the airport, about to board the plane, when I got a message from J.  He remembered that I was flying that day and was asking if I got home safely.  Aww he actually cares.  I told him that I would be boarding soon and will be offline for the next couple hours.  And then I updated him when I got off the plane, when my parents picked me up at LAX, while we sat in the typical LA traffic, until we all made it home.

December 15 - January 5

Over the next few weeks of winter break, we messaged each other a couple times every day.  We shared pictures of the holiday decorations in our home, and I shared pictures and video clips of my pet bunny too.  On Chistmas Eve, he asked if I had any plans, to which I told him we were going out for dinner to celebrate my mom’s birthday.  He wished my mom happy birthday and I passed the birthday wishes to my mom. “Hey mom, my friend says happy birthday.” “Thank you — who???” And I had to tell my mom about J (whoops).  Her judgmental ass was not exactly happy to hear that J is a Caucasian dude from yeehaw country, and after showing her J’s Instagram feed, she was not a fan of his art style smh.  Anyways, the day I was coming back to Davis, J was like AHHHH you’re back!!!!!!!  Just pure excitement ����

January 9 - 16

We met up at yet another boba shop after the first week of classes.  Our meeting was shorter than all our previous meetings, because I had to bike back to give an apartment tour later that afternoon.  Two weeks into the winter quarter, we met after our design studio classes and walked to an HPA meeting together.  We also went to a graphic design club meeting together, after which he offered to drive me home so that I wouldn’t have to bike with the cold wind on my face.  I trusted J at this point, so I gratefully accepted.  I think my trust in him went up at least 10 times in this moment, because J managed to secure my small and heavy bike to the bike rack on the back of his car, which already had his bike strapped in.  After dropping me off at my apartment, he invited me out for dinner that weekend (it was also MLK weekend).

January 18

J picked me up at 7.  The restaurant he chose was hella ~ f a n c y ~.  It was an Italian restaurant downtown with dim lighting and pasta priced at $13 - $16.  He said he didn’t know the place would be that fancy and that he trusted Yelp’s description of “casual Italian.”  I told a friend about our sort-of-date night and she thinks J picked a date-y restaurant on purpose 👀  Oh and my mom went the extra mile of writing down J’s name, the place we were going to, and I was to call home at 10 PM (I ended up getting back and called an hour early).

February 14 - Valentine’s Day ❤️

Unfortunately, J never came to another HPA meeting because the campus radio station, KDVS, holds meetings at the same time, and he’s trying to get a job with them.  And we don’t really see each other very often because design classes are usually 3-hours long and J is really busy with 5 classes.  But J has been super excited about Yule Ball ever since he met me.  J came over while I was tabling for ticket sales.  He mentioned that VGO was going to see Sonic that night, and invited me to hang with VGO.  Let me tell you, it was quite an experience and definitely not the typical Valentine’s Day date.

We pulled into a Sonic drive-in for dinner (because gotta get in that Sonic mood lol).  A girl introduced herself as D (name altered to protect identity, of course).  She clearly has some sort of leadership role in the group because everyone pays attention to her, but she constantly makes jokes about being everyone’s daddy.  The jokes are so vulgar and obscene.  It was like weirdest video game nerd and band kid hybrid (J later tells me she’s a violinist.  What?!  Orchestra people are usually super chill lol).  After dinner, we get in our cars and head down the street to the movie theater.  The VGO had reserved seats in Row J.  J and I had just booked our tickets several hours earlier and we were in Row F.  Throughout the movie, someone in the theater yelled at every pivotal moment (including, yes, that Tails reveal in the post credits).  J thoroughly enjoyed the movie and laughed along with whomever was yelling behind us, while I knew absolutely nothing going into it, except that Sonic is a blue hedgehog that can run super fast.  J also gave one additional bit of info before the movie: Sonic really likes chili corn dogs for some strange reason???

So that’s how my Valentine’s Day went lol

February 18

J came by around 3 in the afternoon, right before we were going to pack up for the day, and purchased a Yule Ball ticket.  He’s obviously very excited to go to Yule Ball with me but he says he doesn’t know how to dance.  I told him we have a waltz lesson planned.  He’s like aww and says he wants me to personally teach him (my heart 💕).  And as always, he gave me a hug before leaving to go to class.  Recently, I noticed that J has been giving full hugs instead of his usual one-armed hugs, though it depends on the situation.

February 22

✨❄️ Y u l e   B a l l ❄️✨

J and I arrived separately at Yule Ball because I had to help set up the venue for the event and I had spent the entire day working on an Azkaban wanted poster prop and literally finished it two hours before our meeting time for setting up the venue.  The dance was supposed to start at 7 PM and J got there early enough to help me out with last-minute decorations.  I had signed up to be in charge of the photobooth from 7 to 7:30, but no one came for pictures during that 30-minute period, so I was free for the rest of the night.  J and I had a fantastic time admiring the detailwork in the decorations around the venue and laughing and dancing to the weird selection of 2000s music.  J did pretty okay with learning waltz basics and I gave him tips here and there on standing in closed frame, balance, the slight tension in the left hand, etc.

Sometime towards the end of the night, my ballroom friend pulled me aside for a bathroom chat and asked if we’re dating.  I don’t know???  We haven’t decided to call it official so ??

After helping clean up everything at the end of the night, J dropped off a friend and right before turning to drop me off (I live across the street from that friend), he remembered that I hadn’t had actual food all day prior to Yule Ball (aww he actually cares, and he probably wanted some extra time with me even though my apartment was right there).  So we went downtown for (a very late) dinner.  While we chatted over food and boba, our conversation drifted towards soundtrack music and I mentioned The Theory of Everything soundtrack, my favorite soundtrack besides Game of Thrones.  J immediately searched up The Theory of Everything soundtrack album and streamed it on the way home (that’s some serious dedication right there), and he liked it!

Oh and I forgot to mention that J forgot to bring a jacket and I had a very warm scarf and coat, so we held onto each other with a one-armed hug while we walked to his car.  I really love his hugs, one-armed or full hugs.

I usually post a picture from Yule Ball every year so here’s this year’s!  Yep, that’s J.  And we’re both Ravenclaws :)

I’ll end this post here, so I don’t end up with a romance novel in a single post lol

[waitinginthedarke]

Ex’s and Oh’s

A BTS/Min Yoongi Fanfiction

Summary: When its over, its meant to be over; it should be finished, and you should move on. But when paths continue to cross, and the fires reignite, you’re going to need to prepare yourself to perish in the flames, because you’ll never make it out unscathed.

Type: Angst/Smut

Prologue Part 1

Chapter 2

‘y/n?.....y/n?....Y/N!?’

Ignoring Jisu’s cries of your name, you burrow further into the comfort of your duvet, cementing your eyes closed with a wrinkled forehead and proceeding to attempt to stay in the land of sleep and nothingness.

‘Y/N?! Do you know what the time is? You’re going to be late for work!’

‘Leave me here. I’m calling in sick.’ You grumble, groaning when you realize you’d accidentally opened your eyes and now you could see the morning light attempting to filter through the rumpled covers of your bed, the looming memories of the night before prodding at the back of your mind and causing you to cradle your head in your arms. Although seconds later you have your covers pulled rather violently from your body to reveal your best friend stood over you with a scowl.

‘Why aren’t you up yet?’

Jisu was a petite, brunette bobbed girl, with winged eyeliner sharper than the funniest guy’s wit, and an authoritative tone that would challenge any mother’s. You’d met her in high school; you were too laid back and mature compared to most of the other kids your age, and she just had an air about her that spoke to you and told you she didn’t get caught up in all the trouble and chaos the teenage spirit evoked. Ever since then you’d been practically joined at the hip, and when you’d suggested moving to Seoul with her in pursuit of ‘living the dream’; running your own styling business, she’d been all too happy to jump in a car with you and roll on into your future together.

However, on morning’s like this, you were pretty sure she regretted it a little.

‘Y/N? Come on! You have to go to work! You’re the BOSS…and what happened to you last night? You text me telling me you were going to be out all night, and then I get back here to find you having gone to bed!? I felt bad having to send Daesuk home-‘

‘Not bad enough to make him leave last night; ...I just heard him leave, Jisu.’ You mutter, peaking an eye open at her to see her screwing her mouth up, eyebrows raised high on her head as she feigned ignorance, despite the light pink tinge that rushes across her face.

‘Well…that’s avoiding the question! Why-‘

You sigh heavily as you push yourself up into a sitting position on the bed, the movement causing Jisu to clamber over you to jump back down to the floor to avoid falling down, and turning to you with a scowl once she was steady on her feet again. But the second she sees you drawing your hands over your face before hanging your head she’s back beside you, wrapping her arms around your middle and cocking her head at you in a silent questioning of what was wrong.

‘What time did you say it was?’ you ask instead, attempting a reassuring smile in her direction before moving to slip off of the opposite side of the bed. However, you don’t get very far before she’s calling your name, and you end up pausing in the doorway to the bathroom as guilt fills you, initially beginning with just the discomfort of hiding your previous night’s activities from her, before the full on guilt of what you’d done hits you, and you turn to her with tears in your eyes.

‘Can I have a hug?’

‘Why would you do that, Y/N?’

One…two…three...four...five-

‘You know its just going to make it so much harder on you-‘

One…two…three…four-

‘You should have come to find me and we could have left-‘

One…two-

‘He’s not going to want to see you again,…you know that right?’

One…t-

‘It didn’t mean anything to him, Y/N. …it was just sex.’

You stumble to a stop as Jisu’s words ring around the inside of your skull, dragging in as much air as your lungs would allow to attempt to stop the burning that had begun in your chest, and finding yourself gripping the railing that separated you from the river’s edge when your eyes finally refocus a few seconds later.

‘Shit.’

Sensing the eyes of a few people walking by being fixed on your strange actions, you hurry to straighten up and resume a normal expression, pulling your lips into a small smile to decrease suspicion that something was wrong, before you force yourself to continue walking, managing to take a few steps before you shake yourself and resume your usual running route, finding peace in the repetitive falls of your feet.

‘…it was just sex.’

The sentence continued to echo within your mind until you made it to the office 30 minutes later, quickly and quietly slipping through the front door and into the backroom to shower before any of your staff could stop you. Re-emerging with a fresh face and your work clothes on; a pair of sleek black slacks and a somewhat professional looking white blouse with ruffled sleeve-cuffs, you instantly throw yourself into the work day, ignoring the confused looks from your employees who’d all heard the way you’d sung loudly in the shower to drown out your over-bearing thoughts and making your way over to the reception desk of your small salon.

‘When are the first clients in?’ you ask, the vague memory of the packed schedule that you’d checked over yesterday struggling to make itself clear in your mind. The receptionist barely covers her concerned and confused expression before you look up at her expectantly, at which point she hurriedly begins to rattle off a list of appointments, including in and out of house clients, before finishing with some phone calls you were required to make in preparation for the next day’s schedule.

‘Okay. And everyone is here?’ you ask, catching the nod from the woman in front of you before looking around expectantly and already seeing most of the girls setting up ready for the day’s first jobs and finding yourself sighing, thankful that you’d managed to find such hard working employees.

‘Well...in that case…I suppose its time to get to work!’

Lunchtime had come and gone, and it was nearing on closing by the time you thought about Yoongi again.

The entire day you’d spent burying your head in your work, having a lot of your own managerial business sorted within the first 3 hours of opening the shop, before you’d ended up walking out to the main room to begin assisting the other girls. They’d proceeded to send each other puzzled looks, wondering why you were involving yourself in the menial jobs that you usually ended up avoiding considering the vast amount of calls and emails you had to get through, but the second you’d begun conversing with one of the clients, simply enjoying chattering away to them and ending up receiving a large tip from them, they hadn’t batted an eyelid.

The second you say goodbye to your receptionist- who was usually the last to leave the building- and you watch her drive away in her car however, you find yourself slowly walking over to the door and reaching for the lock, seeing your hand trembling as you stretch up on your tiptoes to get the deadbolt, before you turn and slowly slide to the floor, pulling your knees to your chest and raking in deep breaths in an attempt to calm your body as tears began to dampen your cheeks.

‘Damnit.’ You sniffle, quickly wiping your cheeks harshly in an attempt to stop the tears you’d let silently fall for the past 5 minutes, and you hurry to push yourself to your feet, knowing Jisu would be wondering where you were, and not wanting to get stuck in your thoughts until you’d returned home and were safe in the privacy of your room.

However, its just as you’d gone into the back room to retrieve your bag and your coat that you’d had stashed since before your run that morning, and you’d turned off the lights ready to lock up, that you see the silhouette against the front window…

…and you recognize that same oh so familiar jawline that had had your knees attempting to buckle beneath you since the very first time you’d seen him.

Why…why was he here?

The first thing you think to do is to grab your phone, intending on calling Jisu and asking for her advice on the situation since it was clear he didn’t know you’d clocked him at that point- as he stood with his back leant on the window and his attention on the street outside. However, the second you fish your phone from your bag and it lights up in your palm, you realize there was nothing you could do.

18 missed calls.

4 new voice mails.

9 new messages.

[YG: We need to talk.]

Your grip on your phone tightens as you close your eyes, furrowing your brow as you rack your brain for the right answer to the situation, Jisu’s words, ‘it was just sex- it doesn’t mean anything to him.’, running round your mind once more, and you’re about to walk back into your office and lock the door in preparation to spend the night avoiding leaving the building and having to talk to him-

…but then you feel your phone begin to vibrate in your hand, and before you even look down, you knew who it was going to be…

So, instead, you look up-

-and you’re met with the sight of Yoongi’s dark gaze peering back at you through the window.

Somewhere in the back of your mind you’re aware of the way you subconsciously answer the call, sliding your thumb across the screen of your phone and raising the device to your ear, your body beginning to run on autopilot under his gaze. However, it still takes around 10 seconds before you register that the words being whispered into your ear were the same ones being made from the moving mouth that you’d been staring at, and its only once you’ve made the connection that you remember how to breathe once again.

‘Why didn’t you respond to my messages?’

…always so blunt.

‘*sigh*….we need to talk about last night.’

Its as you watch him speak the words, that the dread begins to build in your stomach, your body immediately beginning to revolt against what you knew was coming.

Because its only in that exact moment that you realize you’d been subconsciously letting yourself think that Jisu was wrong, that despite running away last night, you’d believed he’d come back for you, wanting to reconcile what had happened and pick up once more from where the two of you had left off the week before…

But all it took was for you to process his tone of voice, and the emphasis he placed on the word ‘talk’, for you to know…you’d been utterly, completely wrong.

‘There’s nothing to talk about-‘

‘Y/N-‘

‘Yoongi, just leave it-‘

‘This doesn’t change anything.‘

You rip your phone angrily from your ear and stomp to the door, unlocking it and throwing it open, stepping outside to face him, and watching his hand fall to his side with his own phone clutched in it as he stonily takes in your movements, his jaw gritted in preparation for anything you were about to say.

But from his reaction to your next words, he wasn’t quite prepared for everything.

‘Then why are you here?’

The cool night that clings to your arms where you’d forgotten to put your jacket on before leaving the building was the only thing that made a sound as you stared him down, its quiet whispers as it wove its way through your bodies and between the strands of your hair sounding like roaring waves in your ears as you waited for him to give you an answer, having to swallow multiple times to stop the tears from falling as you realized he didn’t really have a reason.

‘It was just sex to you, Yoongi. I know that. So just leave-‘

‘Y/N, I-‘

‘Nothing you could say could make this any better for me.’ You cut him off, finding your breaths coming quicker as your anger builds and forcing yourself to look up at him despite your blurred vision, catching the way he reflexively reaches his hand out to you as if to comfort you…before letting it fall back to his side, continuing to watch you with a helpless expression as you shake your head and turn to walk away.

‘Just go, Yoongi. …Its my own fault for not walking away last night-‘

‘Y/n, you cant just leave, I-‘

It’s the break in his voice that has your feet dragging to a halt and your eyes sliding closed to avoid your tears from spilling, the pain coming from your bicep where you were digging your nails in so tight to stop yourself from breaking down being non-existant in comparison to the pangs in your chest as you heard him attempt to drag in a deep breath to get himself under control.

‘I-…I know I was the one that ended it, Y/N…but that doesn’t mean I don’t hurt too. I just...last night cant happen again. Waking up without you this morning...it hurt too much...’

And then your breath stopped.

A slow burn began in your lungs as half of your brain continued to cry over the lost love between the two of you, that part of you still stuck on the way his voice had broken, and the way he’d made love to you last night; like you’d never been apart from each other. 

But the screams that echoed in your head from the other half of your brain; the screams that told a story of sleepless nights where you’d cried into your pillow from the injustice of his actions, and days spent staring in front of yourself without seeing anything, that voice was the one that completely obliterated every other word that lingered on your tongue.

‘What?’

‘I haven’t been able to sleep properly for the past week, I-I’ve spent pretty much every single night by myself cause I just wanted to be with you. The guys keep telling me how bad I look and-‘

‘Fuck you, Yoongi.’

The words are whispered as they leave you, your shaking hands that hung at your sides dropping your coat as you turn sharply and step towards him, not being able to control the urge to lash out, and ending up pushing on his chest in your frustration, tears rolling furiously down your cheeks as you struggle to look at his broken expression.

‘You cant say that! You cant say that you hurt ...when you were the one who left me. Ever since you told me it was over I-I’ve barely been able to find a single minute in the day when im not crying, or bent over in pain where my chest hurts so much! I dont eat. I dont sleep. Running isn’t even an escape anymore. You hurt me…so much…that I’ve barely felt human-…and you have the audacity to-‘

The same lips that had left that final kiss upon your forehead a week ago, were suddenly crashing softly to yours, bringing your broken words to a halt as what you’d intended to shout at him turns to dust in your mind. Failing to realize the way you were sinking into him, you let yourself wallow in the shivers that race down your spine in response to the arms that fold around you, and the scent that fills your lungs, his smell seeming to be like oxygen for you with the way you draw it headily into your lungs, feeding off the kiss as though you’d been starved of him; as though last night had never happened...

As though this was a different Yoongi.

‘Please don’t shout at me…I hate seeing you mad at me...’

Your throat feels like its been cut. Your breath and the words that you wanted to throw at him simply become non-existant as his lips linger against your own, the feel of both of your tears where they hung on your lips after the kiss making your skin rush with the realization of the moment, your attention seeming to focus to the point of a pin as you slowly open your eyes to meet his broken gaze...

And you realize that you didn’t want it to be about him anymore.

‘Its too late.’

Without waiting for him to answer you pull yourself from his hold, his hands that had come to clutch your waist to keep you tightly pressed against him, falling like flakes of paint from a fence as you turn to pick your jacket up off of the floor. You’re unable to stop yourself from pausing as you muster the courage to walk away, but despite yourself and your better intentions, you still end up turning to look back at him, having to grit your teeth when you see him staring back at you with a stoic gaze, and no attempt to stop you from leaving.

‘Goodbye, Yoongi.’

Leaving him standing under the dim light of the streetlamp, you make it half way back to your apartment before you end up calling Jisu to come and get you.

Within 10 minutes she’s by your side where you’d collapsed onto a bench, attempting to stop your heart from shattering into a billion pieces in your chest.

(T.B.C)

[demonicheadcanons]

RFA and V and Saeran being cheated on by MC

(AN: Remember, cheating is wrong guys. Don’t cheat on your partner(s). I’ve never been in the position of being cheated on, nor have I ever cheated on anyone, so I’m sorry if I write this at all poorly or mis-portray it in any way.

I should note that after each incident in all of these, MC leaves the RFA, or is just straight up kicked out of it. They will not stand for anything like this to happen.)

(Edit: This is very, very long. It’ll take some time to read through these haha. It’s just under 7200 words overall)

Zen

He wanted to trust you

But you were never at home any more. You were constantly on your phone at work, and you seemed to have very little time to spend with him nowadays. You blamed it on your managerial duties, but he knew you were much more organised than that, because just two months ago you had made a rota showing exactly when you would do work so that the two of you had free time to spend together

You’d disappear at night and would show up half-drunk in the morning, acting as if nothing had happened, and he was starting to get scared. His trust faltered and he didn’t really know what to do, not being a particularly confrontational person, especially seeing as he loved you so much he didn’t want to even think you could be doing anything behind his back

One day he decides to ask you what’s up, if everything is okay, but you swear up and down everything is fine, and he relaxes a bit, because surely his MC would never lie to him?

But then one day he’s dragged out to spend time with Seven and Yoosung (Zen was acting completely uncharacteristically, retreating into himself, lacking any real confidence). And then he sees you sitting in the café, giggling as the person across from you leans across the table to give you a quick kiss

Seven had noticed as soon as they had walked in, but Yoosung was still clueless. Seven was trying to get him and Zen out of the café, but Zen wasn’t having any of it

“Hey babe, you weren’t at work today,” he calls, walking over to you. You jolted back from the person you were sitting with, and stare at him, eyes wide with fear, almost looking upset, but mainly just guilty. “Hey, who’s this? You should’ve told me you wanted to go out to a café babe, I would’ve totally loved to come with you.”

You sit blushing and scared, unsure of what to do, as Seven and Yoosung walk up. Yoosung looks terrified now, looking anywhere but at MC. People are starting to quiet down a bit to listen in to what’s happening, many of them recognising Zen

Seven looks really, really pissed off, but he’s trying to diffuse the situation by getting Zen out of there. Zen stands his ground and glares at you and the person you’re with

“What do you mean, ‘babe’?” the person asks, glancing between Zen and you, clearly just pretending to be clueless about the situation, and Zen picks up on it immediately

“Oh, don’t even start. Everyone knows we’re dating, it’s been spread about everywhere,” Zen growls, lowering his voice so as not to cause too much of a scene. You tries to get up and raises your hands defensively, but Zen just takes a step back

“I tried everything to make you happy. I guess you’ll just never be satisfied with anything,” he tells you, turning on his heel. Before he leaves, he turns back and, although he’ s still angry, he just smiles at you. “You can come collect your stuff within this next week. After that, I’m throwing it all out.”

And then he leaves, and he just breaks. Seven and Yoosung rush him to Seven’s car, where he just starts sobbing and he curls up into himself and won’t speak for a long time. He loved you so much, how could you do this to him? Was he not good enough? He had dedicated so much of his time, love, and attention to you, and yet...

The look in your eyes when you had kissed that other person, he hadn’t seen that look in over a month. You had been growing more and more distant from him, he should’ve known

And almost as if he can read Zen’s thoughts, Seven turns around and tells him, “It’s not your fault, it’s yours, okay? You couldn’t have prevented this, nor could you have found out about it any earlier. Let’s go get some ice cream.”

Zen just nods and fights to regain his composure. He’s an actor, he can put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay, and no one would ever be able to see how broken he had just become inside

Yoosung

He was sitting playing LOLOL with his headphones on when you had gotten up and left the room, talking into your phone quickly and quietly. He couldn’t make out the words, you knew this, and so he just assumed you were taking a standard phone call

Until he saw that little smirk on your face as you glanced back at him, unaware he was watching you as you left. He smiled casually at you, and you quickly smiled back. Everything was fine

Right?

He messaged his guild, telling them he’d be right back, that he just needed to go talk to his partner, and then silently removed his headphones and got up

Surely he was just being paranoid, and everything was okay, but he was getting more and more nervous as he got closer and closer to the door to your shared bedroom. He put his ear up to it and listened, feeling guilty for eavesdropping, but he had to be sure things were okay

“Babe, I told you, you can’t call me when I’m at home. What if Yoosung finds out about us?.. Yeah, I will, I will... I love you, I promise, it’s just not easy because we’re married...”

You were talking in a hushed voice into your phone. He swallowed hard and opened the door, tears already forming in his eyes, but he was more angry than anything else in that moment

“MC... who are you talking to?” he asked, studying you carefully for anything to tell him that what he heard wasn’t real, that you were his with all your heart

But you just looked scared and guilty. A silence followed, and it seemed to drag on forever as Yoosung felt the tiny cracks slowly and steadily form across his heart, one by one, each sending a wave of pain through his body

“Get out.”

It’s barely a whisper when he speaks, but he knows from the look on your face, that pained look, that you heard him. How dare you act as if he’s hurt you, after what he just heard

“Yoosung, sweetheart... don’t do this,” you tried to beg, but he was done

“I said get out, MC. You have half an hour to pack whatever you need for the time being, you can come and get the rest of your stuff some other time, next week or something. Just... just get out of my sight, okay?!”

He turns and storms out of the room, fighting to keep the tears at bay, quickly wiping away the few that spill over his eyelids and run down his cheeks. He gets his phone and texts Seven, asking him to come over in about an hour or so

You follow along behind him for a little bit, begging him to just listen and telling him you love him and you’re sorry, but you quickly realise he doesn’t actually give a shit and that he’s counting down the minutes until you leave

You stand at the door with a suitcase in one hand and your bag in the other, staring at him nervously, biting your lip. He doesn’t even glance up at you, not until after he hears the door shut behind you. And then he waits until he hears you walk away. And then he bursts into tears, sitting at his desk, his arms crossed on it and supporting his head

He hears the door open not long later. Only you, him and Seven have a key to the place. He quickly wipes his eyes and looks up to see Seven looking at him, clearly very concerned

He drops the bag he’s holding on the sofa and in a second he has his arms wrapped around Yoosung in a tight hug, telling him it’s okay if he needs to cry, and asking if he can explain what’s wrong (“but it’s okay if you can’t right now. I’m here for you.”)

Seven stays with him for the next week, and when you come back to get your things, he stands firmly by Yoosung, stopping you from trying to come up with some kind of excuse for your actions

He even invites Yoosung to move in with him and Saeran, telling him it’d be so cool for the three of them to live together. He could use his special gaming equipment to play LOLOL (though god knows Yoosung doesn’t need to play any more of that – he’s barely showered or eaten in the last week, he’s just sat at his computer blankly playing LOLOL. Even his guild noticed something was up because he just seemed to be barely functioning)

Seven’s there for him every step of the way, and Yoosung knows this, but he struggles to pull himself together. He avoids all the places the two of you used to go together, gets rid of any photos of you together, and just breaks inside completely. He becomes a shell for a while before finally moving in with Seven and Saeran and returning to his old self a bit, with help from all the RFA members, but there’s still a pain there when he thinks about you. He feels as if he’s not enough for anyone anymore, and avoids dating for a long time, feeling like a toy that’s been chewed up and thrown away

Jaehee

(I’m not so sure how to write her yet, sorry if this is really OOC)

She notices you act odd around this one person who comes into the café every week

They start coming daily, and you spend longer and longer talking with them. You seem to form several inside jokes with them

Jaehee trusts you wholeheartedly and doesn’t think much of it, and she’s actually happy that you’re making such close friendships with customers

Actually tells you this to your face, ignoring that slight bit of guilt that shows in your eyes. It’s nothing, you’re probably just embarrassed by her compliments

But then you just seem to be getting closer and closer to this one person in particular, going so far as to touch each other casually at times, and even though it’s just light taps on the arms or shoulders, Jaehee can feel herself start to get uncomfortable

She isn’t sure what to do or what she’s feeling, and she wants to stay professional with the others so she doesn’t bring it up to anyone and just lets it fester

And then one day she’s out stocking up a few things for the house so that she can make you both something nice to eat after a long week of work, and she sees you with that one customer. Maybe you two just bumped into each other?

And then she notices you’re holding hands

And then she sees you lean in for a kiss

She turns around and leaves. When you get back to the apartment later, everything is all set and packed for you to leave, and she’s sitting with his arms crossed, staring at a blank TV and waiting for you to arrive. When you walk into the room, she calmly stands up and turns to face you, straightening down her skirt with her hands

“Hello, MC,” she says coldly, the warmth she had come to develop when around you completely gone. “I’ve packed your things for you. I hope your new partner allows you to move in with them, because you certainly aren’t staying here.”

You just stare at her, acting confused, but she stares back, calmly and coldly. She isn’t taking any nonsense, and she isn’t changing her mind on this

“Oh, and don’t bother coming to work on Monday. Or ever again, really,” she adds, turning away and sitting back down. “We can sort out any legal issues later, but for now, I want you to leave.”

She faces the other way until you leave, until the door closes, until the tears start spilling and she shuts her eyes tight, hugging herself and praying for this to all be a dream. She isn’t sure who to turn to, and she spends the next day on her own watching Zen’s musicals before actually messaging him and explaining what’s up

He comes over immediately, and the two sit on her sofa, just close enough for comfort but not close enough to be touching. He gets her to explain the situation, and then tells her that she mainly needs to remember it’s not her fault, and that it’s impossible to be able to know. It was great of her to have trusted you, and it was your fault for breaking that trust

She puts on a brave face and tells customers that you simply quit when they ask where you went, but they seem to be able to tell that something has happened. The person you cheated on her with never shows up again, and you quietly sort out all the legal issues over short phone calls and e-mails. The rest of the RFA find out about what happened, and Jaehee finds it entertaining when they have a whole chat just dedicated to telling her she’s great and that you’re a jerk for cheating on her

Zen does everything he can to bring her confidence back up, and over time it helps, but she can’t ignore the pain in her chest whenever she’s reminded of you. She still has days where she just feels empty, staring into the distance, unable to truly focus on anything. Eventually she moves, relocating the store and such so that she can change things up, getting rid of any reminders of you. She doesn’t see you around anymore, and she stops talking to you, and slowly she recovers

Jumin

He notices right away when you begin to grow more distant, and he asks you about it, but you brush him off. You go out a lot more now, and he gets worried for your safety, because there could still be people out there after you

So one day he sends out a bodyguard to follow along behind you, making sure you don’t notice, just so he can be sure that you are safe (and also that you’re not cheating on him, because he would definitely be worried about that – he’s scared he isn’t and never will be good enough for you)

The body guard comes back before you with a sour look on his face. He holds up his phone, showing pictures of you with someone else, laughing and having fun and holding hands and kissing

Jumin asks him to print the pictures out for him, before thanking him and asking him for some time to be alone. The guard asks what they should do about you, but he just tells him to let you in as normal and pretend all is okay.

He sits on the sofa with his head in his hands before texting Jaehee, asking if she can reschedule his meetings for today and tomorrow. She doesn’t seem happy about it, but he just texts ‘please, Jaehee’, and she seems to get that something is up and tells him to take care of himself, and that she will attend in his place where possible

He sits there for what feels like forever until he hears the door open, and hears you call his name. When you get to the room you look so happy and giddy, and he just turns around a gives you the coldest, saddest look you’ve ever seen. Your face falls, and you start to sweat and glance around

“Is something wrong, Jumin?” you ask innocently, approaching him slowly

He raises a hand, signalling for you to stop where you are, and stands up himself. He walks over close to you, pushes the printed photos into your hands, and glares at you as you look down at them and take a step back from him when you realise what they are

“Jumin... how did you get these photos?”

You look so scared and nervous and he is torn in two, half of him wanting to pretend nothing happened and protect you and make sure you’re okay, the other half bubbling with rage and wanting to just yell at you. However, he takes a deep breath and calms himself, knowing he must remain as civil as possible

“You could have told me you were unhappy, MC,” he begins, staring you in the eyes the entire time he speaks, seemingly unfazed, although you can see the little bit of pain in his eyes that he doesn’t have the energy to mask. “I would have done anything for you, you know that, and if things weren’t working out, you could have left. You are no different from everyone my father tries to get me to be with, using me for your own personal joys and ignoring how I feel. And you thought I would put up with that?”

“Jumin, I didn’t mean to-“

“No, MC. You clearly meant to. You don’t just accidentally cheat on someone. You put in a conscious effort to do this, to sneak out and to distance yourself from me. I have noticed the change in behaviour, that is why I had you observed today, and I was right. Now, we need to explain housing arrangements and such, because you can’t stay here, and you need to explain the situation to them. I assume they know about us being together?”

You nod quietly and he pushes past you and leaves the room, returning with a large suitcase which he pushes into your hands. “You have precisely one hour to pack up. You can stay tonight and even tomorrow night in a guest room if necessary if you cannot find anywhere else to stay, but you need to leave as soon as possible. I will not be accommodating for you any longer. You also may want to think about finding a job to support yourself, but maybe they will do that for you.”

And then he leaves you standing there in the doorway, quickly contacting a guard to come and watch over you as you pack up and to show you to your new temporary room. He goes and stands in his garden, staring off into the sky. After a bit, he calls V and explains the situation to him, unable to put a word on how he actually feels inside. The dark, rotten feeling that makes him feel hollow. The anger is still there, but it is weakened and he feels tired. V talks to him for quite some time, without anything much really being said between the two – Jumin was never one to talk all that much, and V wanted to give him the space he needed to recover, the silence to let him think

V offered to come over, but Jumin politely declined and instead decided he would focus all his time and energy on working. He called Jaehee and avoided any questions about how he was doing, saying that he could actually make it to the meetings tomorrow, and that if there was any more work to be done he would happily do it. Jaehee was sure something was up when he also suggested a few ideas for more cat projects, but said nothing of it and wished him well instead, telling him to get a good rest

He couldn’t sleep the entire night, and just wrapped up warm and stayed in his garden, staring out into the sky and trying to think, trying to feel anything other than empty and hurt and lonely. It had been a while since he had been so truly lonely that he was scared by it

He worked and worked and worked over the next while, long after you had moved out and gone on to continue your own life without him. He worked so hard that everyone was getting concerned – especially the RFA members, as he never showed up in the chat rooms anymore – and yet he still couldn’t get rid of these dark, indescribable feelings he was experiencing. He hated it. He felt ashamed, disgusted, betrayed, and so on, and he couldn’t get rid of it

He eventually began to settle into a better pattern, no longer overworking himself but ensuring he constantly had his thoughts occupied by something, whether it be with planning the RFA parties, or making up new ideas for cat projects, or his work. If he spent even a moment alone with his thoughts he became overwhelmed, and he had even ended up breaking things in his frustration at times when it became far too much for him to handle

He felt like such a failure. He had loved you so much and he had lost you so easily, and he just could never get over that

Seven/Saeyoung

Oh boy

He had been so scared of losing you to the agency, worried that they would come after you to get back at him, that he had gotten really, overly protective. He knew he was probably smothering you, and he was trying to loosen up a bit

You started leaving once a week, the same time every week, and he told himself things would be fine and that you were okay. But he couldn’t be sure. So, feeling incredibly guilty, he put a tracker on your phone just so that if something did happen, he could check it. He wouldn’t go near it otherwise

You left and returned around the same time every week, so he didn’t see any reason to worry. You were just having a bit of freedom, that was totally fine. As long as you promised to stay safe, and as long as you called him if anything went wrong, and as long as you came back in a tidy state and not too drunk it was okay

But one day you didn’t come back, and he began to panic. It had been ten minutes, twenty minutes, half an hour past your usually time of return. He was waiting, sitting with his back to the wall, watching the door. He was panicking, and Saeran was getting concerned himself as his brother’s state

An hour had passed and you still weren’t home. Something must have happened, right? You weren’t responding to his messages asking if you were okay, and if you needed a lift or something. He hadn’t heard anything from you

So he turns on the tracker, and sees you’re located in some random house somewhere. He’s confused and he just can’t think straight as he grabs his jacket and keys and goes to drive there. Saeran grabs him by the shoulders and grunts at him to stay safe, and then watches as he runs to get in one of his cars

He speeds the entire way there, trying his best to be careful but just wanting to get to you already. When he gets to the house, everything is eerily quiet. And then he hears you... laugh?

He runs up to the door and knocks. The person who opens the door just stares down at him blankly, and he quietly asks if you’re there

“Yeah, they’re here, what do you want them for?” they ask, looking nervous and confused

“I’m... I’m their boyfriend? I wanted to check if they were okay. They haven’t been responding to me at all,” Seven explains

He gets so scared when the person just laughs

“This is a funny joke. I’m dating MC, dude. There’s no way she would cheat...”

They stop when they see just how confused and hurt Seven looks. He doesn’t look quite all there, honestly, his eyes wide with panic and doubt and his breath catching continuously in his throat

The person turns around and calls for you to come to the door, begging Seven to hide to the side for a second so that you don’t see him. You come out, a drink in one hand, smiling and blushing lightly

“Hey babe, what’s up? Someone for me?” you ask

Seven steps up to the door and stares at you, looking so hurt and betrayed and confused, his eyes begging you to tell him this isn’t true, that this is all just some big, bad joke

But you just drop your drink and stare at him, mouth open, eyes wide in fear

“Sae... Saeyoung, what are you doing here?” you ask quietly

And he just glances at the other person, who looks equally confused and hurt as he knows he does right now, and he turns and walks away. He doesn’t know if you’re following him or not, and he tries to tell himself he doesn’t care when he can’t hear your footsteps behind him, but he does. He cares a lot

He gets in his car and drives off, not to anywhere in particular, and not back home. He ends up outside Yoosung’s apartment, and he sits in the car for a moment crying. He texts Yoosung asking him to come let him in to the building

Yoosung is at the door in seconds, asking him if everything is okay and what’s wrong and why is he crying?

When Seven doesn’t answer, choking back a sob, Yoosung just tackles him in a hug and they stand there for a while, Seven eventually hugging him back and trying his best to calm down and just think

They go in and sit down and Seven explains what happened as Yoosung gets them both a PhD. Pepper and something light to eat. Yoosung seems really shocked by the news, and he isn’t the best to give advice – especially concerning relationships – but he looks up at Seven and there is definitely anger in his eyes as he tells him that what happened isn’t his fault, and that he needs to cut you out, to make you realise what you did was wrong, and to stop you from hurting him again

They sit and relax for a bit, Seven finally able to clear his head a bit and think about the situation. He couldn’t have known, and seemingly the other person didn’t know either. He hoped they were doing okay

He had put his phone on silent and when he was walking back to his car, he finally checked it. Nothing from you, but a few messages from Saeran telling him he needs to come home right now

He sits for a second with his head in his hands, leaning his elbows on the steering wheel, before making his way back home. He opens the door and sees Saeran waiting for him, looking a bit frightened and concerned, but he covers it up immediately with his usual blank look

“They came home and they weren’t making any sense. They’ve just been sitting waiting. I didn’t know what to do,” Saeran explains

“They cheated on me. They’re not staying here,” Seven whispers to him, a light hiss in his voice as his anger rises

He walks in and sees you sitting on the sofa, curled up into a ball, looking so small and scared... But no, you messed up here, and you need to deal with that

Seven walks over, and you turn and jump up off the sofa as soon as you see him. You look so guilty, but he doesn’t care

“Why, MC?” he asks

“I... I just... I don’t know, I wanted some freedom, I felt so trapped here, and I went out one day and met them and I just...”

“I warned you about this. I told you not to get attached to me. I told you that when we were in Rika’s apartment! The first time we met, I warned you!” Seven barks, and you shrink away from him a bit

“I didn’t mean to, Seven, you know that... you know I love you, I promise I didn’t mean to, I just got so caught up in it...”

“You don’t love me. If you loved me, you wouldn’t sneak out every week to go see someone else. Clearly I’m not enough for you, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“But, Seven... Where am I supposed to go? Is there no way I can fix this?”

“No, you can’t. How am I to ever believe you won’t just turn around and do this again someday when you get bored and ‘feel trapped’? And why don’t you go stay with them, they seem to have a nice house.”

“They... they dumped me.”

Seven snickers, and you look so hurt. He turns around and goes to your shared room, pulling out a suitcase

“Here’s the deal. You have until the end of the day to pack up and get the hell out of here. I’ll let you come get the rest of your stuff then within this next month. You’ll have to ask ahead of time for access to the bunker. And then, after that, I don’t want to hear from you again. Understood?” Seven asks, glancing up at Saeran who is standing nervously at the bedroom door, watching the two of you. When Seven and him link eyes, he just nods at him, reassuring him that he’s doing the right thing

Seven shoves the suitcase in to your hands and walks out of the room. He feels Saeran’s hand on his arm, and he turns around, surprised

“Things will be okay,” Saeran tells him, and then he clears his throat, puts on that old blank mask, and retreats away to his room (he ends up hovering about, spending more time closer to Seven over the next few days)

Seven completely ignores you as you pack up your stuff and leaves. Then he goes in to your (old) shared room... it’s just his room now. He feels so empty yet overwhelmed at the same time. Today wasn’t supposed to be like this. He never thought anything like this would happen

He curls up on the bed and your scent is still lingering and he just starts sobbing

He overworks himself for the next while. It’s all he can manage. He makes programs and apps and little robots to distract himself from the constant dull ache in his stomach and chest. When he’s not working he tries to distract himself in other ways. It takes him a long, long time to recover, with Saeran and Yoosung spending a lot of time with him to help him on his way

He’s not going to go back to dating for quite a while

V/Jihyun Kim

You were out meeting up with some friends and he didn’t like to be in the apartment by himself, so he had gone out to a random park with his camera. He loved going out on walks in pretty places now that his eyes had been fixed. He had missed this so much

He invites Jumin to come with him, and the two stroll through the park and gardens together, chatting away like they did when they were younger (V does most of the talking, Jumin was never all that talkative). They pause every now and then so that V can take photos, and he tries to help Jumin take a few photos on his phone

V jogs on up a path and hides around a corner. When Jumin walks up to see what he’s doing, he pops his head around the corner and takes a photo (it somehow looks amazing even though he had only just stopped moving when he took it. V is the God of photography)

And then he sees you, walking down a path not far away, coming in their direction, but not really focusing on them as you talk to the person beside you. You’re holding hands with them, and you look very much in love

The image is burned in his head, and it takes him a moment to register what he’s seeing before he pulls Jumin to stand hidden beside him, listening as you get closer and closer. Tears fill his eyes and he just stares at Jumin, trying to figure out what he should do

Jumin didn’t see you, so he doesn’t quite understand what is happening and why V keeps telling him to be quiet and stay hidden. V shows him the latest photo. In the background, there you are, walking with this stranger, cuddled up to them and looking like a proper couple. Jumin’s face turns sour as he glares at the photo, and then he leans up against the wall, waiting for you to approach

As you turn the corner and spot the two of them, standing there, Jumin looking angry and V looking very, very hurt, you take a step back, letting go of the person’s hand and flushing bright red. You just stare at V, looking shocked and guilty, and he stares back, not really knowing what to do

The person laughs nervously and asks you what is wrong, and Jumin is the first to speak

“We’re friends of MC. How do you know them?” he asks, keeping his cool

“Oh, cool! I met MC a while ago, we’ve been dating for a few months, I thought they would’ve told their friends about me at least,” they tell him, and they laugh again, relaxing a little until they see V’s face and start to connect the dots

“A few months?” he asks quietly, feeling his heart start to crack and shatter in his chest. His heart was fragile enough already, why would you do this to him?

“Yeah... uh... about 3 months at this point I think?.. Is everything okay?” they ask, seeming concerned

“I’ve been dating MC for a few years,” V tells them, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. This can’t be real

Jumin puts a hand on his shoulder protectively, before forcing him to turn around and walk away. The person stands there looking shocked, before turning and talking to you in a hushed voice. They then turn away and walk off, leaving you standing on your own. You go after them, which shocks even Jumin. How could they mean more to you than V?

After they’ve walked for a bit in silence, Jumin pulls V into a tight hug and holds him there. V breaks, and starts going on about how it’s all his fault and he should have been better and he just wishes he could be enough for someone, for anyone, he just wants to be enough

Jumin gets Driver Kim to take them back to V’s place, where he just sits on the sofa, doubled over with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands

Jumin sorts things out over the next while. You won’t be returning, he’ll have your things sent to you, and he’ll stay with V for the next few days, ensuring that a maid takes care of Elizabeth the 3rd for him

V doesn’t really eat or drink much over those few days, and he refuses to talk to anyone much. He opens up to Jumin a bit, and Jumin keeps reminding him it’s not his fault, it’s not his fault, it’s not his fault

After a while, when Jumin is about to leave to go to his penthouse again as V is recovering and starts to take care of himself, V asks him to keep a secret and to take something with him

He hands him a small box, and Jumin’s face drops as he realises what it is. He looks up at V, who is starting to cry again as he stares at the small box

“When were you going to...” Jumin begins to ask, but he can’t finish the question

“That night. I had planned to take them out to dinner, and then go a walk in the park and ask them there, at midnight. It was to be a clear night and everything, the stars would be out, and it just seemed to be perfect...”

Jumin hugs him again, tight, and tells him to come to the penthouse as often as possible. V just nods and watches him as he leaves, before sitting down again the way he had when he had first gotten home after seeing you with the other person (according to Jumin, they had left you too, because they had been unaware of the situation also. You had been playing the two of them)

He stares at the floor as the tears fall. Why couldn’t he just be enough?

Unknown/Saeran

You were late meeting up with him. Of course, it had been arranged last minute, but he had been in the bunker and you had supposedly been out in the town anyway, close to the fancy little ice cream parlour that you were supposed to be meeting up at. What the hell was keeping you?

He texts you and gets no response, so he gets an ice cream for himself and then leaves to go look for you

He finds you a few blocks away, cuddled up in someone else’s arms, staring up at them lovingly as you say goodbye to them and give them a kiss

He drops the ice cream and stares for a second before getting angry and stomping up the two of you. You see him before he gets to you, and push the other person away quickly

“S-Saeran, what are you doing here?” you ask

“I was waiting for you, and you didn’t show up. So I came to find you. What the fuck is going on, MC!?” he growls, glaring at you and the person you’re with, who looks like they really don’t want to be there right now

“I’m sure this is some misunderstanding,” they start, and Saeran reaches out and just shoves them, telling them to just ‘fuck off’ and let him deal with this

They look uncomfortable and scared, but then they glance at you and realise the situation, and they walk away looking betrayed and fearful

And now you’re left to deal with the consequences of your actions as Saeran grabs you by the shoulders and forces you to look him in the eyes. He seems completely unfazed by your tears as you stand there shaking in his grip

“What. The. Fuck. Is going on?” he growls again, slowly, waiting for you to answer

“I... I didn’t mean to Saeran... I really didn’t,” you try to explain, gulping down sobs

He lets go of you, and takes a step back

“Am I not enough for you?” he asks, his anger showing clearly in his face

“No, no, Saeran you’re more than enough... I just... I... I’m sorry, I love you, I’m so sorry.”

“Save your apologies for someone who cares, MC. I’m done with this. We’re done.”

And then he walks away. When you run up and grab his arm, he just shakes you off and yells at you to go away and leave him be. He had trusted you so much, he had let you in, and you broke his trust. That made you a disgusting disgrace of a person to him

When he gets back to the bunker he throws his bag onto his bed and stares at the photo of the two of you on the bedside table

He reaches out and lifts it, rubbing his thumb gently over the frame, before throwing it across the room. Seven knocks on the door and opens it slowly and quietly, staring at Saeran as the hot tears bubble in his eyes and start to spill onto his cheeks and roll down his face

“Saeran... is everything okay? Where’s MC? I thought you two went out for ice cream?” Seven asks, walking into the room

“Leave me alone, Saeyoung.”

“What happened?”

“Leave me the hell alone!”

And then he starts sobbing, and Seven looks so shocked and confused and he just doesn’t know what to do. He tentatively walks over and wraps his arms around Saeran, not letting go of him even though he initially struggles and fights against him

Eventually Saeran relaxes and just buries his head in Seven’s hoodie and lets it all out. Seven tries to think of what to do, who to call, but you were the only person Saeran really let get close to them. Clearly this is about you. It doesn’t take Seven long to come up with a few possibilities – you had gotten hurt, you had broken up with him, or you had... cheated. Shit

“Saeran, they aren’t worth this,” he says quietly, and Saeran freezes in his arms and shoves him away gently. “Please explain what happened to me.”

“I caught them with someone else. We were supposed to be meeting up and I caught them with someone else,” Saeran explains quietly. “I don’t know what I did wrong.”

His voice catches in the last sentence, and Seven feels horrible. He tells Saeran to wait here one second, and he goes and gets his phone. He calls Yoosung and tells him to come over for takeout and stuff, and briefly explains the situation to him. He orders some food for Yoosung to collect on his way over, and then he calls you and you can tell he’s really suppressing his anger as he hisses for you to not come back, he’ll send your things to you. He hangs up before you get much of a chance to speak

Seven quickly changes the door’s passwords, so that you won’t be able to get in to the bunker even if you do show up, and then he goes back to Saeran and tells him to get up

He drags him to the sofa, makes him sit down and drink something, and then goes to the kitchen to sit and think about things

Meanwhile, Saeran sits on the sofa and just stares off in to space, ignoring his drink after Seven leaves the room. He can’t understand why people can’t love him, what did he ever do to become so unlovable? He knew he had messed up and made mistakes (being a part of Mint Eye being the main one), but he had been unlovable from the start, and he had convinced himself he was so used to being abandoned that it couldn’t hurt him anymore. It still did, though

Yoosung shows up after about half an hour, holding the take out, and the three of them eat in silence. Saeran barely touches his food, as Yoosung and Seven try to talk to him about what happened, offering whatever words of comfort that they can. Eventually they realise he doesn’t want to talk about it, so they change the topic instead and try to brighten the mood. Nothing works

Saeran retreats back in to his shell quite quickly, constantly reminding himself that he was not loved and that everyone was lying and that, eventually, they would all leave him too

(Finally finished oh my god this took hours and hours, coming to a total of around 13 pages on Microsoft Word, and about 7,200 words. I’m sorry if it seems OOC or rushed at all, I just really wanted to push through my writer’s block and get this done. Hope it was all okay. If you have any comments or anything, please send them to me ^^ Take care!)

[cluedintobehavior]

Validating The Problem

I asked 7 instructional designers if they thought problems arose due to the transition between a graduate school learning environment and the real world. 5 said yes. 2 said no, with qualifications.

1) Dave Wiley — Yes. Here’s the problem: IDs have trouble engaging effectively in their work due to unmet expectations. Non-ID example: Japan mission experience of missionaries who thought they were going to knock doors had a tough time transitioning to just playing sports and teaching english. Impact: lots of dogs kicked. Solution: 1 credit class called “Principle Compromise 101.”

Like Mike Tyson said, “everyone has a plan until someone punches them in the face.” Bill Gross (TED Talk) 

Key insight: Expectations and plans impact one’s reality.

2) Zack Tibbits — No. Zack never had trouble transitioning. He thinks this was because he was already employed by U of U working in EdTech when they offered to pay for his MS in Instructional design. Then he worked for the FAA (government) while he was doing his PhD work in distance education. His “transition” was seamless because when he was in his graduate courses, he would mentally say things like, “I’ll use this. But I won’t use this.” He also told me, “my personality is far too easy going” to ever push back. “I don’t have any problem bending to the will of others.” He definitely sees this as a problem for others.

Key insight: Zach’s story made me realize that a key factor to transition success is how much exposure you already have to life in the field before or during your time in grad school.

3) Shandon Gubler: Yes. He has observed a conflicts with new employees transitioning between school and work learning environments.

Shandon Gubler is an emeritus professor at BYU’s Marriot School of Business. At the Y, Gubler used Blackboard (LMS) as a framework for a blended-learning/flipped classroom pedagogy. In addition to teaching, he has been involved with developing many businesses including Agilix, which is still around (K-12). Now, Gubler teaches business at Dixie State. Upon moving down there, he asked, “how can I improve the learner's experience?” (Incidentally, his son was recently accepted to BYU's IP&T Masters program. He is apparently good friends with Kevin Worthen and is in discussions with him to implement changes to BYU-Provo's univeristy learning model...)

Shandon's Learning Approach:

As a business practitioner, Shandon is concerned with limiting the transition of employee readiness when entering the workforce. He wants learner's first education to be closer to what every new employee experiences in a "second education." In other words, he wants to help close the gap between theory and practice. To combat this, Shandon has his business school learners connect with potential employers and learn the course curricula in the context of Walter Gong's 3-Person Problem. Shandon is anything but a “sage on the stage.” Gubler is currently experimenting with his own brand of “active” classroom, which seems to also be modeled after BYU-I’s president, Kim Clark’s Learning Model. Gubler calls his model, Millennial pedagogy:

Pre-class work

Study to teach — Learners do chapter readings in textbook outside of class. Learners then answer custom-made chapter-summary questions to ensure the learner stays focused on important content.

Teach to learn — Learners select a real-world practitioner/mentor in the community whom they can teach what they just learned. Hopefully, the learner finds someone in the specific field they hope to eventually go into. This weekly communication is typically achieved via f2f, or video conference. When teaching, learners engage higher-order learning (according to Bloom’s Taxonomy) by coming up with appropriate stories, illustrations, and examples. Students usually teach 10-12 times, which is the number of chapters covered in the textbook.

Learn to apply — (Student asks real-world practitioner, “how are you going to change your business based on what I’ve taught you today.”) The person they’re teaching (practitioner) then mentor’s or coaches the learner. One more touch point for learner to apply what they’re learning to the practice.

Class Work

Learners are grouped (ideally in smaller groups, e.g., 3-4 people) at the beginning of the semester and pre-assigned to walk the class through the chapters.

In addition to chapter reviews and synthesis, real-world case studies are handed out in class. Learners are asked to apply what they’ve learned from the chapters and teaching experiences as they discuss the cases.

Experience working with Mentors:

During the first few weeks, there is grumbling on both sides of the learner/mentor relationship. But after that time, the mentors realize that this experience is a terrific recruiting opportunity for their respective companies. Business practitioners realize that this kind of relationship creates a valuable connection to university hiring pools. This mentoring opportunity is a great alternative to how businesses traditionally spend their recruiting dollars. Similar to UBER, the partnership meets the needs of both parties; employers want new hires they can trust, and students what jobs after graduating in their area of interest. Thus, practitioners want to systematize this program so they don’t need to wait to be asked to mentor each new semester. If systematized, other businesses and universities could choose to adopt it.

Feedback from professional mentors:

Mentors want the textbook chapter material before the student comes to them so they can be more prepared with appropriate feedback? (This raises a copyright issue. I’m sure publishers make an option for the practitioners to purchase a copy.)

Mentors want to give the students mini-projects during their 12-weeks together. (Internships are costly and take time.)

Mentors want Gubler to better match them up with students that really want to be in their industry. In return, they’d be willing to share with Dixie their company’s budget used for talent acquisition. They learn together.

Key Insights: Gubler’s model of connecting students with professionals during the grad school experience is closes the gap between theory and practice. The further the learning is from the context of use, the fewer schemata nodes are being utilized to store the information.4) Tara — Yes. She was hired by UVU for a “professor support” Summer internship. But she didn’t really employ design skills like she thought she would. She considered herself an overpaid administrative assistant. E.g., “Come do this mundane task for me.” She hoped to be working with the professor instead of for the professor.

Key insight: Unmet expectations.

5) McKoo Staples — No. McKoo was only hired by the CTL 2 weeks ago. His job is to design a website that increases awareness of the affordability of OER. He’s in the “honeymoon” phase. Not enough time has passed for him to be critical of other’s ideas of business processes/practices. He’s still wrapping his head around his task, so all information is good. If someone tells him to alter his thinking/practice, he will. You sweet summer child.

Key insight: Too soon in education and work experience to have expectations to be unmet.

6) Taylor Halverson — Yes. Tyler did experience transition woes when he worked for Cisco. Currently BYU’s director of innovation. His major beef was that was ID students feel locked into doing things a certain way. They have no flexibility; and design jobs demand flexibility, if nothing else in terms of competencies.

Key insight: For one reason or another, people feel like they have to fit into job roles, titles, expectations, boxes, competencies.

7) Sabrina Hyuitt — Yes. Sabrina slogged it out at UVU for over a year and a half. She claimed her manager was insecure about his position. That he didn’t know how to make managerial decisions, and thus feels challenged when novice instructional designers ask how to do something. There was no on-boarding, which is what Sabrina says contributed most to her struggle to transition to her position.

Key insight: Sometimes there’s nothing that can be done to prepare people for a toxic cultural work experience.

Maybe I should be looking at crappy senior instructional designers and where their educations failed them. Title: How Not To Be a Crappy Senior Instructional Designer (Manager of other IDs). There is a difference between what the workforce calls a “senior” designer (time in field/familiarity with company processes and culture) and what academia calls an “expert” designer (competencies).

[spiderfan22]

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND TWELVE - 2/20/17

“THE NUT SHOP” by DJS

 So at Northgate Mall, they have all these old photos of what the mall used to look like back in the fifties and sixties when it first opened.  And I was walking through the mall yesterday when I noticed a photo of a nut shop with four young women working in it.  Obviously the place doesn’t exist anymore, how could it?  But just the idea of a store that exclusively sold nuts and the girls working in it…. Well, that got me going.  Just read.

PRESHOW ANNOUNCMENT

There are two ways to pronounce pecan.  The way I just said it, “puh-con”, and “pee-can”.  The people in this play say “pee-can”.  

           (awkward pause)

All right.  Thank you and enjoy the show.

                         Lights down.

 When the lights come up we’re looking at the interior of BUDDY SQUIRREL’S NUT SHOP.  The year is 1954. The place is Northgate Center in Seattle, Washington.  The shop is decorated to make it look like a forest, with cut-outs of cartoon squirrels and other woodland animals.  There are several long troughs with different kinds of nuts, clearly labeled.  Behind the counter are four young women, each wearing the same unflattering dress with the store’s logo – a happy anthropomorphized squirrel – on it, each with the same bob hair-do.  Meet best friends Jill, Meg, Nancy and Sandy.  Nancy and Sandy are identical twins (though the actresses need not be).  Jill is just finishing up with a customer, a young housewife, handing her a bag of nuts.

 JILL

           (chipper)

Here you go, ma’am.

           (hands her change)

And your change.  

           (hands her receipt)

And your receipt.

Miffed, the housewife takes her items and exits.  A bell over the door jingles.

 JILL

           (waving to the departing housewife)

Have a nutty day!

 Sandy and Nancy exchange a nervous glance.  Meg watches Jill with obvious concern, then goes over to her.

 MEG

Y’know, Jill, I don’t think she liked you calling her that.

                         JILL

Calling who what?

 MEG

The lady who was just in here.  

                         JILL

Her?  She bought a half-pound of macadamia nuts and a can of bridge mix.  

                         MEG

I know.  It was a good sale.  But you called her ma’am.

                         JILL

I did?

                         Meg nods gravely.

                         JILL

Oh no.  She wasn’t offended, was she?

                         MEG

I don’t know.  But she looked upset.  She looked angry.

                         JILL

She did?

                         MEG

I just hope she doesn’t call Dale and complain.

                         JILL

           (covering her mouth)

Oh, do you really think she’d do that?  Nancy?  Sandy? You don’t think she’d report me, do you?

                         Nancy and Sandy shrug.

 JILL

But ma’am isn’t so bad, is it?  I mean I was only trying to be respectful.  She was married.  

                         MEG

Yes, but she couldn’t have been much older than us. And just think how you would feel if someone called you that.  

                         JILL

But she’s married.  You saw her ring.  Didn’t you? Sandy?  Nancy??

                         Nancy and Sandy shrug.  They continue to bag peanuts.

                         MEG

Yes.  However that’s not even the worst part.

                         JILL

What do you mean?

                         MEG

You corrected her.

                         JILL

When?

                         MEG

When she said pecan (pee-can).

                         JILL

I did?

                         MEG

Yes, you said it was pronounced pee-can.

                         JILL

Like you just said.

                         MEG

Yes.

                         JILL

Well, isn’t it?

                         MEG

Yes.  But some people do pronounce it “puh-con” and she was one of those people.

                         JILL

Oh.  I didn’t even realize I said anything.  It must have just slipped out.  I didn’t mean to correct her.  I know there are two ways of saying pee-can… puh-con… and both are perfectly acceptable.

           (quickly beginning to panic)

You don’t really think she’ll call and complain, do you? I’m on thin ice with Dale as it is.

 Sandy and Nancy suddenly stop bagging nuts and look up at Jill, curious as to what she’s talking about.  Short pause. Meg clears her throat.  

 MEG

Thin ice?  How are you on thin ice?

                         JILL

Well… He asked me out.

                         MEG

Dale asked you out?

                         JILL

Yes.

                         MEG

On a date?

(Jill nods her head vigorously up and down.)

When?

                         JILL

Yesterday.  We were locking up and he said would I like to go to the movies with him on Friday.

                         MEG

And you said yes?

                         JILL

No.  –

           (quickly)

But I didn’t say no either.  I said could I think about it and let him know today.

                         MEG

So you didn’t say yes?

                         JILL

No.  But I didn’t say no either.  Dale has to understand I only wanted some time.  Doesn’t he?

                         MEG

I don’t know, Jill.  If I was a boy and asked you out on a date and you didn’t say yes right away, I would think you didn’t like me.

                         JILL

But that’s not true, I think Dale’s fine!

                         MEG

You just don’t see him as boyfriend material.

                         JILL

I don’t know.  I don’t know, Meg.  He’s not very attractive.  Or he’s not really my type I should say.

                         MEG

Yes, but that’s not the point.  He’s your boss, Jill.  Right, girls?  Nancy? Sandy?

 She looks at the twins, who nod in agreement, almost in unison.

                         JILL

           (on the verge of tears)

Oh!  Now I’ve really gone and done it, haven’t I?  Screwed up! I’ll be fired for sure!

                         MEG

Well, you could probably still make it up to him.  

                         JILL

           (desperate)

How?  Tell me how and I’ll do it.  Anything, Meg.  Please.

                         MEG

Well… just go on the date.  See a movie, share a malted… and make-out with him a little in his car before he takes you home.

                         JILL    

           (softly)

But his breath stinks.

                         MEG

Buy him a pack of gum, Jill.  Do you want to keep your job or not?

                         JILL

I do…

                         A beat.  

                         MEG

Look, Jill.  I wouldn’t suggest you do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.  I just think that woman’s definitely going to call and lodge a formal complaint, and Dale will have to take her seriously or risk losing her business.  So you’re only chance of not being fired is to let Dale have his way.  He’s not so bad, after all.  I mean he’s got a good stable job in the nut business.  And God forbid, even if the shop closes one day, managerial experience is managerial experience, and nothing to sneeze at. No, you could do a lot worse than Dale Dryden.

                         JILL

You mean marry him?  Actually marry him?

 Jill does not catch the look that passes between the twins.

                         MEG

Sure.  Why not? Do you have any better offers?

                         JILL

Well… not at the moment…. But then I’m only seventeen.

                         MEG

My mother got married when she was only eighteen.  And he likes you, Jill.  Dale likes you.  That’s nothing to sneeze at.

                         JILL

Do you really think so?

                         MEG

Nothing to sneeze at.

 Jill considers this for a moment.  Nancy and Sandy stare, awaiting her response.

                         JILL

Well, but, how do I make that happen?  Like how do I get him to ask me?  It seems so far off.

                         MEG

Easy.  You just start seeing him on a regular basis.  A few times a week at least until he just sort of gets used to having you around. And it’s obvious he likes you so you really shouldn’t have to push him that hard.  I mean he’s always staring at you.  

 JILL

           (oddly flattered now)

Really?

                         MEG

Yes.  I even caught him taking a picture of you once when you’re back was turned.

                         JILL

You know, I thought I saw a flash once but was never able to explain it!  I thought it was just a bad headache coming on!

                         MEG

And then you’d never have to worry about getting fired because anytime someone called up and complained, Dale would have to defend you.

                         JILL

Oh, but – I don’t think I would still work in the shop, do you?  Not if we were married.  I’d want to stay at home with the children.

                         MEG

Of course.

                         JILL

And Dale would come home from a long day at the office – or, the nut shop – and I’d have his dinner all ready, and we’d set down after and watch the Ed Sullivan show.  And you could come over with your husband some nights and the four of us could play bridge.  And Nancy and Sandy, with your husbands, for cocktail parties, and any other couples we’re friends with in the neighborhood.  And then our children would sneak down and spy on us having fun, and they’d all go to the same school and the boys would play little league and the girls be best friends, just like us!  But you must hurry, all of you, you must find someone to settle down with like I’ve got Dale.

                         MEG

Yes, but who, Jill?

                         JILL

Well, I’m sure Dale has a few friends.  The fellows in his fraternity, for instance.  And what about Dale’s brother Scott?

                         MEG

Oh I forgot about Scott!  And he’s better looking than Dale too.

                         JILL

Well, he’s skinnier that’s for sure.  I like ‘em with a little meat on their bones.  Like Dale.

                         The girls giggle.  

                         MEG

And Nancy, Sandy. I’m sure Dale and Scott could find someone who would be right for you. There’s that whole group they graduated high school with who are practically doing nothing now.  

 Nancy and Sandy nod and smile, clearly fine with this.

                         JILL

The only real question is, which of us will walk down the aisle first?

                         MEG

Oh, I think it’s gotta be you, Jill.  You’ve got the head start with Dale and all.

                         JILL

I suppose you’re right.

                         MEG

Then me with Scott.  I can even picture myself now catching the bouquet at your wedding and everyone coming over to me and congratulating me because they know it won’t be any time at all before it’s me up there in the white dress saying my vows.

                         JILL

And then sometime down the road for you and Nancy, Sandy.

                         Sandy nods. Nancy smiles.

                         MEG

And we’ll all be each other’s bridesmaids!  Jill, I’ll be your Maid of Honor and you can be mine. And Nancy and Sandy, you’ll be each other’s!

                         Nancy nudges Sandy, excited at this prospect.

                         JILL

And one day we’ll all come back to the nut shop.  We won’t work here anymore but just to visit.

                         MEG

And we’ll push our babies in strollers, and buy bags of pecans and walnuts, and cashews, and honey roasted, and different samplers for gifts that we’ll give each other on Christmases and our birthdays.

                         JILL

Or we could even leave the children at home with a babysitter and have a true Mother’s Day Out, and go get our hair curled as a surprise for our husbands, Dale, and Scott, and…

           (gesturing to Nancy and Sandy)

…whoever.

 Nancy and Sandy grin and nod, their arms around each other’s shoulders.

 MEG

I know!  Won’t it be funny?

                         JILL

Yes, I’m sure we’ll all have a good laugh, such a good time remembering back.

                         MEG

Oh yes!  Yes!

 The girls laugh and cry tears of joy as the lights fade on the little world of the nut shop.