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#'don't ever let me see you again'
mothinked · 2 years
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Ellie and Abby brain rot.
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godbirdart · 4 months
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i've been so used to the online space where if you like a series or fictional character that someone else hates they will openly berate you and cut you out of their life and tell you to Go Die so when i got into a thing that a friend really didn't like and their only reaction was "i do not like it" and left it at that with no over the top reaction or lecture on Why The Thing They Don't Like Is Bad, honestly i felt like i met god
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naamahdarling · 2 months
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I just got INCREDIBLY GOOD NEWS at the cardiologist! Unexpectedly, inexplicably, remarkably good.
"Look at this," he said, and showed me the CAT results from earlier this year, with all the beautiful blood vessels like flawless white brushstrokes. "It's perfect. Your chances of having a heart attack are about as low as they can possibly be. Your heart is incredibly healthy. You're probably going to be the healthiest person I see today."
Considering my dad's heart disease, the strange finding on the CAT, my activity level, and my diet, I was completely shocked, and this is an incredible relief. I can't even express what a relief it was. Legit started crying while I was in line at Starbucks.
First time I've ever been booted from a practice for being too healthy.
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torchstelechos · 2 months
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People be like, how you doing? And I'm like, Loop is never going to see their family again.
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vellichorom · 2 years
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so maybe he’s taken the sexysweep loss a little hard,
( NOTE; this comic does NOT reflect the views of the artist or is in ANY way meant to chastise / guilt the opposing side OR fault the voters, this is just a little in-character fun on my part & in no way was created with malicious intent! )
CONGRATULATIONS @braisedhoney, I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! & ANOTHER THANK YOU TO @tsp-narrator-ask​ FOR FEATURING MY NARR IN THE COMPETTITION! earnestly looking forward to seeing who brings home the gold!
( ps also featuring @tomi-chuu‘s stanley because how could i ever not )
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this whole fear of repressed memories regarding sexual abuse has been following me around for years, probably since I became aware of memory loss/repressed trauma in the first place, but idk why it's been so intense this summer and it's really really frustrating how every time I think I've worked through it and gotten over it, I see a picture or someone says something and I'm all "I'M SCARED THAT THIS FAMILY MEMBER RAPED ME AS A KID AND I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER IT" and like. it's so frustrating because it's literally a symptom of OCD or whatever that I can't stop going over and over and over this, and it's driving me nuts that I can't seem to trust my own mind
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eddiegettingshot · 2 months
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as someone who doesn't even want to read eddie sexuality exploration/coming out conflict 99% of the time let alone write it i truly commend anyone who plays in that sandbox seriously. you are all warriors
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vulpinesaint · 5 months
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listen i am geralt of rivia hater number one but one thing i actually CANNOT stand is when the fandom mischaracterizes him. took one look at this man who speaks very straight-forwardly and matter-of-fact and is a little recalcitrant with his words sometimes and went "haha he communicates in grunts! man who only says 'hm'!" and then won't even write him to speak in full fucking sentences. hello???? hello???????? yes the netflix show was a bad influence on everybody because they were trying too hard to depict geralt as a stoic manly badass but we CANNOT let that distract us from the REAL thing to make fun of geralt for. which are his Constant Unprovoked Monologues
#also the fact that he fakes his dumb stupid little rivian accent because the man was NOT raised in rivia. but i digress#'haha he only says hm!' where were you for every episode when he launched into a speech about the lesser evil. that's like. the whole thing#geralt of rivia will do nothing But talk once you let him. don't give that bitch a chance! he'll start up about honor again!!!#convinced that most of this is because netflix show insisted on showing us him around jaskier so much#and jaskier does not shut up. love him to death. but geralt genuinely does not have time to get a word in edgewise#i will admit that this is something that i had to learn by reading the books and paying more attention to it#but it's not like he DOESN'T do it in the show. if you ever sit with a witcher episode transcript for whatever reason#and really take a look at geralt's lines. man he talks a whole fucking lot.#again cannot emphasize enough that he Monologues. HE TALKS HIS WAY OUT OF SO MANY SITUATIONS.#me when i look filavandrel of the elves in the eyes and 'hm' at him and he lets me go. no bitch he monologued!!!!#terrible. terrible. let this man speak. if i see you fanfic bitches continue making him talk in sentence fragments again i'm gonna kill#as for my own fanfic. i will always prefer a geralt who talks too much to be believable over a geralt who barely speaks at all.#both because i believe in letting him speak his mind which he OBVIOUSLY likes to do. sideeyes him.#and because it's just fucking boring and a little annoying to read speech patterns that don't sound like how people talk.#cough cough lan wanji the untamed. man i'm not sitting here and reading this motherfucker's two word sentences#let him speak!!!!!!#anyway.#geralt of rivia#the witcher#fanfic
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chocosvt · 3 months
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s2 episode 19 thoughts
did you ever want to see mulder and scully die of old age? well, you're in luck! this episode was made for you <3
i'm giggling. who came up with this concept?
when i was reading the plot description, i kept thinking of all those memes a few years back about the beach that makes you old. it was referencing the plot of the m. night shyamalan movie with this very concept, aptly titled "old"... good to know he isn't the first one to come up with such a topic. also we moved on from that meme too fast because it was hilarious.
okay. let's go.
pause. we open on a boat at sea. i haaaate boats. we seriously need to stop getting on boats because it seems that only bad things follow.
some people are leaving this boat. and a guy threatens to stop them. but he doesn't. and they climb into a lifeboat and sail off.
those who sailed off in the sailboat have been found by another boat. they were sailing the seas and playing blackjack. blackjack is great, boats less so. these new guys are tying to rope in those from the lifeboat for help, but they're not being super responsive. this is because they have become very old men.
(i was trying to think about how i would respond to finding a rescue boat full of old men on the open ocean, and i think i would assume it was a cruise wreck. recently read an article about the secret world of cruises. fascinating stuff)
((anyway, when we're looking at these newly old men, you can tell that it is in fact the same young actors under a bunch of makeup, and it's an eerie thing to view. baby old men))
at this point, i asked the question on everyone's mind: are we going to speedrun the whole msr thing by throwing them on this boat? like, skipping to growing old together? it's almost romantic, in a way
anyway, back to the present day. after the newly old men have been rescued. mulder calls scully to a hospital, and thanks her for coming without explanation.
she has freckles and he has to bend down to whisper to her, two things i enjoy greatly.
he wants her to go in and talk to the one survivor of the whole thing, and they wouldn't let him in, so her medical background is a good excuse, and he got her clearance. he tells her to figure out what is going on then come back to his office, and instead of listening to her try and ask questions, he grabs her shoulders and says thank you. and leaves.
she is baffled. for a man like him, a shoulder grab probably explains everything.
(this has prompted contemplation on that man and his relationship to physical touch. i just know he'd cry if given a nice long hug)
so she goes in the room and picks up the chart, and despite the fact that a very old man is sitting on the table there, she sees his chart says he's supposed to be like 25. so she asks why there hasn't been a full investigation and the physician comes in and says "i wasn't aware that my diagnostic decisions required your approval"
OOP. an awkward situation! she must have chased mulder off. and while it may be a bit weird to have another doctor burst into your patient's room, is this not a valid question to ask???
the physician demands scully show her clearance, which she does, and she is told it is invalid, and to get out now before she is removed. which is sus as hell!!!! what are they hiding...
back to mulder's office. she walks in and tosses her coat on his chair. ah, casual intimacy of cohabitation. i love you dearly.
and this man is deeply touchy today... he must have known he was setting her up to get yelled at in the hospital and this is his way of saying sorry. that's my best guess, anyway.
he's got a map pinned on the wall and he's pointing out all the ships that have gone through the area and disappeared, and as i began to make my average declaration- that this was "nerd behavior"- my phone began to predict the text for me. well! it is consistent at least.
"do you know anything about the philadelphia project?" he asks scully. and she explains it to him, but i had to google to see if it was a real thing. and actually, i had heard of it before, because the u.s.s. eldridge makes a very brief cameo in season 1 of loki!! but it seems to be mostly a thing that didn't happen. i'll have to look into at a later date.
mulder proposes that those involved with the teleportation philadelphia project must still be at it, and they are using this area to explore wormholes on earth.
(scully exhales quietly) "wormholes." <- god-tier reaction
he decides to head out to norway and investigate, and she wants to come!! woohoo 8:30 flight to norway!!
they're in the norwegian bar. looking cute. asking for help re:area where boats are going mia. but no one wants to help!
until a very conveniently placed american over hears them! and he has a ship that can take them out there! ahh, storytelling conventions <3
he says he'll take them out there, but he is the only one who will do so, because all the others think that there is an evil god in the sea. and evil god or not, i am not sure i trust this man who offers to give them a ride.
NOOOO poor mulder is getting seasick :( he seems to have lost his quick tongue in the war against the ocean:
"you're lucky you inherited your father's legs", he says to scully. "what," she deadpans, smiling. "his SEA legs", he clarifies, and she laughs while he is in misery.
(and this was sosososo cute <3)
they have been on the boat for 12 hours...... i would have simply perished!!!
they then CRASH into another ship and he is suffering even MORE immensely
so they climb onto this ship they ran into, and it looks old and rusty, like 20 or 30 years hanging out in the ocean rusty, but it was launched in 1991. soooo things are not adding up!!!!
they go in and investigate the giant old ship, and they encounter some bodies that have been, like, crystalized? super old and dead and crystalized. shoutout to the props team for that fr.
and scully looks both terrified and deeply intrigued. the medical curiosity has set in.
NOOOO! someone took their ship that they arrived there on!!! they are stuck on the boat full of very old dead crystal people!
there's a little montage here of scully and mulder trying to fix stuff and it was really really cute. yeah get your tools and go fix something man. get under there. it doesn't work out, but it wasn't for lack of trying.
the american guy who took them out is getting pissed they aren't telling him the Truth so he tries to explain the wormhole theory. and he isn't buying it and getting More pissed. this could have been easily avoided by Not Getting on the Boat.
NOOOO the other crew member that joined them had his skull cracked!!! are there any old people doing some skull smashing on this boat?!?
AUGH the boat is such a perfect setting for horror. the persistent Wetness. the quiet except for light dripping noises. the maze-like construction of the big old ship. confined spaces. it is simply not for meeeeee
oh okay. guy in the freezer sipping jack. he says time got lost. sure. it seems we have found our Skull Smasher.
the american guy whose ship was stolen is getting even MORE pissed and honestly i feel like he has the right to be. his friend is dead his ship is gone he is stranded on a boat of crystalized old people. truly L after L is being delivered. and as he goes to bury his friend at sea, even singing a little song for him, a dude comes and tries to crack HIS skull with a pipe??!? (so maybe old man sipping jack DIDN'T do the killing? i honestly don't remember sorry)
mulder stops pipe man from beating the americn ship captain... wow... so heroic <3 and american guy is like, oh i know this dude... he's a PIRATE WHALER... he sells whales on the BLACK MARKET.... i wish him to suffer immensely. remember when a fungus grew out of people a few episodes ago? yeah he deserves that. get eaten by bugs. you stay away from the whales you sick freak. but he is kinda hot and that is NOT be excusing him i just have eyes and can see. hot pirate whalers still get the cruelest of punishments in my book.
NOOOO the old man sipping jack has died. and is turning into salt. real sodom and gomorrah ass situation.
mulder declares that it is time to get rest, in an environment in which rest is impossible. and honestly, he is brave as hell for persisting and taking the first watch despite having dealt with seasickness, let alone being trapped on a boat full of old salty dead people and having just apprehended a pirate whaler. give him a raise, for he has suffered.
he takes his shift, and goes to wake scully up for the next one. and she mumbles about having just fallen asleep, to which he offers her a few more minutes
AUGHHH my heart. my heart my heart. this man is Suffering but he still offers to stand guard for a few more minutes. so she can sleep. oh i would have married him on the spot i'm sorry.
she insists that she is up and everything is adorable and sweet until.
WHAT!!! they are old!!!!
the image of these two in their Old Person makeup was making me laugh so hard, so i once again asked "who came up with this episode", but here's the tea: the pirate whaler guy isn't getting old!!! and, as scully points out, their hair isn't falling out or turning grey... strange.
she proposes that they are... drifting towards something... electrical... magnets... i'm sorry queen u lost me. too much science jargon. i'm sure it's a good theory i just have no understanding what it is you're saying.
oh. and blood is dripping from the ceiling. while the evil whale killer serves looks in the corner. fuck you, freak.
they go off to investigate the dripping blood (actually rust!) and they leave american ship captain to guard the pirate whaler. and oh man, he is gonna let him go, isn't he...
our agents are climbing into the sewage hold. bad place to me, imo. and ohhhh they think it is related to the water! non-sewage water = makes you old. cutscene to american ship captain, who has shot pirate men, lapping from the toilet like a dog.
mulder and ship captain man are fightinggggg... old man violence
scully demands everyone do a blood test, which had me asking: how did she test their blood on a ship? does she just keep that sort of equipment around? anyway, it shows waaaaay too much salt.
and NOOOO mulder is doing worse than the others because he has been dehydrated from seasickness :(
(again, i made note of the fact that they looked crazy and this was such a ridiculous plot for an episode)
he presents her with his urine for testing. that is true friendship.
the american ship guy says that mulder isn't gonna make it, and they should look out for themselves. okay good try you dumb bitch but they WILL die for each other.
cutscene to mulder lying in his cot, dying of old age. typical king activities. the water isn't working on him for some reason!!!
(who did this old person makeup... the girls are scared)
american ship guy is in the sewage area gulping all the water. "go ahead and shoot me if you think i'll let mulder have another drop" <-okay but she Will kill you. like you get that right.
(he escapes death by locking himself into the container)
this sends scully into a frantic search for any sort of liquid, and she's holding up a snow globe, and i have the realization, oh man, she's gonna drink the snow globe water, and they are gonna have to go to the hospital even more than before
"it's sardine juice, half a dozen lemons, and the water from a snow globe" <- new worst meal just dropped
(get her as a bartender NOW. i want to see what other fucked up concoctions she can create if given the resources)
he says that she should drink it, and tells her to stop being stubborn, she's more likely to live. and he WILL resign himself to death for her. which is A Lot. they are arguing about who gets to drink it and it's really sweet and sad and they look scary.
noOoOOOo there is a big THUNK and the jar falls on the ground and CRACKS. and now water is coming in!!! and the guy that locked himself in the sewage hold is gonna drown!!!
this is not promising for anyone else. at this point i was asking if they were gonna just lay down and die together, and if so, would it involve having a talk about their Feelings before death?
scully promises mulder that she learned there is nothing to fear after death when she began to drift off in her coma. oh my heart. talking about her Worst experience in the entire world so her friend can die in peace. knowing that it will be okay. ohhhh man, i need to unpack this at a later date.
so she closes his eyes and he drifts out of consciousness, and she's writing down detailed notes as she goes, but finally the pen slips from her hand and... they're gone
UNTIL!!! HELP ARRIVES LATER!!! and they bring them into the hospital to desalinate them. and they are able to be saved because scully kept impeccable records the whole time!
OH. and who is tending to them but the physician who kicked scully out of the other guy's room at the beginning of the episode!!!!
so the ship sank. and that was that. the end.
and where does that leave us?
well, honestly, i'm torn. because there were some very sweet moments in this episode- poor seasick mulder, fighting over who gets the potion, him letting her sleep a little longer, her sharing what happens after you die to give him a sense of calm- but it was also taking place while they were in scary old person makeup, so it had its ups and downs.
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skunkes · 4 months
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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zerodaryls · 11 months
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it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.
i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.
there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.
'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.
to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.
and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.
but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.
#i try to reclaim 'feminine' words for myself in private#calling myself 'babygirl' when i need to chill out. or saying i feel pretty. or going 'she needs help' when i'm struggling lmao.#but there's still so much fucking trauma in those words from the people who've forced them on me#who've snarled in my face that GOD made me ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY and that's a WOMAN (stepdad)#who've guilted me for taking their precious perfect daughter away as if i'm fucking dead (mother)#who've mocked me and everyone like me as if we're not the experts on our own sense of self (general transphobic public)#like. i'm not a fucking man. i'm not a fucking woman. i'm nonbinary. gender is absurdity as a concept. i'm done with it.#but being called a man or a son or a guy or 'he' or WHATEVER in that vein is fine and dandy because i've never had anyone say#'that is all you can EVER be'. or worse: 'that is what GOD made you to be and you have a ROLE to fill'#(christianity pls die approximately yesterday thanku 💖)#so yeah. idk. ranting yet again about Cis Audacity.#the complete lack of empathy. the lack of curiosity even.#the condescending bullshit. the 'i understand you better than you do'. the fucking AUDACITY.#i am the expert on myself. i am the ONLY expert on myself. period. no contest. not a debate.#i understand myself better than anyone else is CAPABLE of understanding me.#i could call myself 'she' and understand that i meant it in a nonbinary way.#in fact i could even see myself letting other trans people call me feminine terms at some point in the future. when i've healed more.#but cis people? probably not. they can call me 'he' or 'they' or they can fuck off & never get to know me because they don't wanna know ME#/end rant#any terfs/bigots that try to touch this post will be swiftly blocked and quite possibly cursed. have the day you deserve <3
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tubbytarchia · 4 months
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Points at my pinned message. There's a message there in bold. I'm sorry I don't clarify that I'm talking about CHARACTERS ONLY in posts that I don't maintag. I presume if you're on my blog to see these posts at all, you would already know as much. CHARACTERS please... just characters.... I've acknowledged that CC Jimmy is not bothered by the bullying many times. I'm very aware... I'm talking about characters......................
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hamartia-grander · 6 months
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Starting to slowly realise I'm really not doing well mentally and it's. concerning. I feel like I should take a break from tumblr bc it takes some of what little energy I have but it's also my source of joy with friends so idk what to do, like I'd miss y'all more than I'd feel good about being away. But if you notice me talking less/not responding in days it's bc I just cannot. I leave your message notifs up so I don't forget tho <3
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goldkirk · 7 months
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I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!
#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING#IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN#HA#MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF#and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders#that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self#ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief#a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?'#tone “No!” of disbelief#and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it.#that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me#and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.”#was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf#anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally#now i see what the past several months but especially especially#the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January#were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong#...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not#a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side#and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like#i rationally say I trust them to have and do.#and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha#they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y#anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet#trauma evolution#shh katie#personal#my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic.#add to journal#abuse
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purpurussy · 2 months
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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