#'lol shit happens!' and usually show no lasting repercussions from the shit he went thru

[verrescent]

super duper random but I think the reason I'm not really head over heels for Sirius or super big on wolfstar like everyone else is because I kinda see him as aromatic. I don't think he's aroace, just aro. Or maybe at least on the arospec. His family was the first thing he knew, the first thing he loved, and he's traumatised from the shit he saw, had done to him, and was forced to do. I feel like that just really messed up his perception of love.

ABSOLUTELY NO HATE ON WOLFSTAR. They still hold my heart in their silly little clawed hands. But like. Idk.

I think another thing that kinda peeves me is the way that Sirius is portrayed as kind of.. emotionally dull. Like he's either too sexualised, or just really emotionally hurtful (I feel like abusive is too strong of a word) towards Remus and the people around him. He's about the only character we have a set personality on. He's used to the floodgate of emotions he feels, he's probably more emotionally aware than Lily even. He's childish, and quick to anger in the books, but after years of having your worst and lowest moments replayed over and over again while your teeth ache and rot, I think he's got a right to be. In school, he was better. Though still bad from the ongoing abuse from his parents.

I don't think he was unfixable, I think he just took a lot of time to heal from everything. He's able to form platonic relationships, of course, but he doesn't really have any desire for anything romantic. He used to think something was wrong with him and tried to force himself to do what everyone else was doing, dating and stuff, but he just never clicked with it. He can love, he isn't like incapable of it, but it's just not romantic. I think he's his own person who doesn't need a relationship to make his world round once more, I think he'd much rather have plenty of people around with whom he's formed bonds with that'll last long past his death. That's because he doesn't like doing one thing for too long, and because he feels like the idea of having to love someone is too specific for it to be for him.

I think even after Azkaban he feels this way, maybe even more so, but he's more appreciative of the people around him. Just a little ramble