#'oh but it's uncomfortable it makes me too hot i can't see people's faces covid is over'

[laurelwinchester]

so. my month from hell got worse. my grandfather died last night. he died of complications from covid.

put on a goddamn mask, people.

[peachpitmp3]

your description sounds amazing. be very competitive but also not!! xsdkfldjf oh my god those are such nice vibess

choose the gayest movie !! honestly your whole day sounds like it would make the coolest, laid back music video /pos

tired and yearny is such a mood,, god i loved everything about that. your brain is so fantastic, i love hearing these descriptions and just- words. y eah <3

five moments in no particular order i would make into polaroids: the last day of school before covid. i think we knew that school was going to be closing soon, but that day all of my friends were at school and it was nice. a little bittersweet thinking back on it, because damn. we did not get to go back to school that year fjsldkfj. i'm not entirely sure which moment i would choose, but for a long time, we've been going to this one beach with extended family. we rent a house there for like,, a week and it's during the summer, so there's a ton of stuff to do. it's so nice to walk on the boardwalk late at night, and go get ice cream or hot pizza with my cousins and all. the beach is really fun too, and even though at the time it's super hot and sunny, it's always really nice to look back on. if i had a physical picture of those times,, nvkjljsdf the Nostalgia and Yearning. i would probably pick the first time that i joined this one discord server. i just remember the feeling of excitement and secrecy of making a new email and discord account, and then meeting new people which !! i'm not ~fantastic~ at meeting new people but the concept of talking to people who's faces or voices or even names i didn't know was very interesting. four: the first time people started using my pronouns correctly, because it was a little while after i came out, and i remember the pure happiness of it all. not the actual coming out because that was more awkward and uncomfortable imo, but yeah. benefitting from that decision was definitely a plus. and i'm not sure how to pinpoint an exact moment here, but just,, laughing. laughing when i see tumblr posts that make absolutely no sense but i still save, laughing when there is really nothing funny about the joke someone just made but it's so nice out and you can't help but smile. laughing with friends and making fun of each other in the silliest and smallest of ways. grinning, when you're in the car and there's your favorite song playing, or when it's just you, but you don't mind the quiet. to have a tangible reminder and small piece of that feeling- it's not physically possible to encompass all of that into a photo but still. i'd like to think that i could find one photographic moment that would bring back all of these wildly different memories, tied into one.

that was quite a rambling paragraph sdlkfjsdf

i really loved that question /gen. if you- and i'm not entirely sure if i'm phrasing this right but here goes. if you could re-live your memories when you dreamed, what would be the first memory you choose to go to?

(ps: sorry for the late response!! my computer lost wifi this morning and i have not figured out how to send an ask on a phone without reaching the character limit or while adding line breaks) - 🌵

oooh omg okay the last day of school before covid... YEAH. yeah yeah yeah. aaaah omg that sounds so fun!! boardwalk + ice cream + pizza = good vibes. omg!!! discord servers yeah yeah yeah!! i'm on some servers and every time i talk on there i get a little rush of happy because i still sometimes can't believe i'm actually friends with people. i'm not amazing at meeting new people or talking to people so it's always great to make new friends who are as amazing as i could hope for, and i'm so glad you had a good experience like that too!! that's definitely something worth memorializing. aaah oh my gosh!! yes!! pronoun euphoria is SUCH a happiness generator. when my friends used they/them pronouns for me for the first time i was like whoa... this is a thing... i didn't know i could like this that much. and your last bit- about laughing and smiling and making fun of friends, yeah. it's sort of an undefinable feeling, the high of being in the middle of laughing and surrounded by people you love and who love you and you're all in the moment together.

okay that is SUCH a good question. i honestly think i'd choose to go to any of the last days of elementary school when we were signing each other's yearbooks and promising to stay in touch even though we knew we couldn't because none of us had phones or emails at that point. we would write our names, signed with a little flourish to make it our own; a heart on the dot of the i for some, in cursive for others, in a barely legible all-caps scrawl for a few of them. it was sort of like a promise that we were making to each other, yknow? a sort of exchange. like, you give me your name and i'll never forget it. you give me your handwriting, and i'll see it years later and remember you.

idk. i've been feeling very nostalgic lately.

were there any books you read growing up that shaped who you are today, or just that you really vividly remember? what books and why?