#do your part to make it slightly less hellish

[laurelwinchester]

so. my month from hell got worse. my grandfather died last night. he died of complications from covid.

put on a goddamn mask, people.

[6esiree]

Getting Dared to Call Them Daddy

Summary: You get dared to call Alastor, Lucifer, and Husk daddy.

Warnings: Swearing, slightly NSFW (but it’s mostly suggestive?) A little bit of rubbing on Lucifer’s part. MINORS DO NOT READ!!!

Alastor:

You and Alastor weren’t exactly acquainted with each other. You found it hard to talk to him, the way he always smiled making him incredibly hard to read. That’s why you never bothered him—well, until now, because Angel Dust had dared you to do the unthinkable. “Call him daddy,” he whispered, watching as the expression on your face contorted into one of horror, “I dare ya to call the Radio Demon daddy.”

You couldn’t back out, not when you had told Angel that you weren’t a pussy upon agreeing to play Truth or Dare. And fuck, you weren’t! This is what you said to yourself as you walked over to the bar, watching how Alastor nursed a drink. Fortunately, Husk was on break, so whatever happened next would stay between you, him, and Angel, who watched in anticipation from the parlor with a shit-eating grin.

“Hi,” You said, tentatively stepping behind the bar to help yourself to some brandy.

Alastor hummed, acknowledging your presence as he set down his glass, which was empty. You observed the way he looked at you, his eyes half-lidded and the smile he always wore on his face more relaxed.

He proceeded to tap on the empty glass with his claws, silently asking you to pour him another drink. You did just that, feeling yourself become less nervous as you realized he was drunk. Fuck, it was now or never, you thought.

“There you go, daddy,” You said, making sure to set the glass down at the last part.

Alastor’s hand froze on the counter, his claws barely grazing the drink in front of him. You continued serving yourself your own drink as if nothing had happened, which only served to further confuse the poor man.

“What was that, darling?” Alastor asked, the usual static behind his voice suddenly absent.

You set the bottle of brandy down and picked up your glass, quirking a brow at him as your lips settled on the rim. You tried not to wince when the liquid traveled steadily down your throat. God, brandy was gross.

“What was what?” You asked, hoping he didn’t hear the way your heart-rate picked up.

“You said something as you gave me my drink,” Alastor said, his ears twitching.

“‘There you go, your brandy?’” You supposedly repeated, innocently blinking at him.

Alastor was drunk, he knew that, but he swore he heard you utter something else. However, considering that he was unaware of your dare and that you had never bothered him in the past, he had no choice but to believe you.

“My, I am hearing…strange things,” Alastor shook his head, picking up his drink as you stepped back from the bar, “My apologies, darling.”

“Don’t worry about it,” You said, smiling at him tenderly before turning away to shoot Angel a threatening look, who was struggling to stifle his laughter.

Alastor remained in his seat at the bar, his face forward but his eyes following you until you left his line of sight. It was at that moment that he decided that this would be his last drink, the way his face flushed and his pants tightened as the seemingly false memory of you calling him daddy circulated his mind solidifying his decision.

Lucifer:

The day Lucifer visited the hotel, you were immediately captivated by him. Just like his daughter, he did not live up to his hellish title; it’s no wonder Lilith relinquished her halo, his way of being triumphing the looming threat of eternal damnation. You would have done the same, you admitted to Angel Dust during a game of Truth or Dare, never anticipating that he would weaponize this information.

“Go and call the big boss of Hell daddy,” Angel said, a wicked smile on his face. “I dare ya.”

You stared at Lucifer from the parlor, observing the way his back slightly arched as he leaned over the bar. Fuck, this was not going to be easy, and Angel knew that. The last thing you wanted to do was give him the satisfaction of winning the game, though. So without further thought, you stood up and made your way to him, flipping off Angel as he chuckled behind you.

Lucifer straightened his back upon hearing someone approaching, the grip on his glass tightening when you graced his eyes. He had only interacted with you a few times, so naturally, he was nervous. Plus, you decided to sit right beside him when nobody else was at the bar. It was a strange choice that you had accidentally made, but you couldn’t scoot over without causing any offense.

“I—uh—hello?” Lucifer said, coughing in a poor attempt to cover his stuttering.

“Mind if I join you?” You asked, leaning over the counter to pour yourself a drink, Husk absent due to the late hours.

You almost sighed in disappointment as you realized Lucifer’s choice of liquor was whiskey, but it was too late to back out. You had already popped open the bottle, observing how the amber liquid steadily collected in your glass as you poured yourself a drink. Throughout all of this, you could feel Lucifer’s stare on you, his mouth slightly agape while he seemingly debated his response.

“No! No—of course not,” Lucifer quickly said when you sat back down, adding the next part with a nervous laugh, “I must have looked pitiful for you to come over here, huh?“

You held your drink against your chest, shaking your head at his question.

“Oh my goodness, no!” You said, placing a hand on his shoulder in reassurance, but it was only for a split second, “Not at all.”

Apparently, you had taken Lucifer by surprise, the way he knocked down his drink a testament of that. His face flushed in embarrassment as you whined at the sensation of whiskey dripping down onto your lap. The worst part is that you looked like you had pissed yourself, the amber liquid coating your crotch and running down your thighs. Ah, fuck, but you couldn’t get mad at him.

“Fuck! I’m so, so sorry!” Lucifer yelped, getting up from his seat and jumping over the bar to get a rag.

The man was in a state of panic, so much so that he failed to realize what he did next. Instead of handing over the rag to you, Lucifer crouched down and tried to dry the whiskey off of your lower half, practically massaging you through the denim of your shorts. You could only stare at him in shock, trying to keep your legs shut as he dragged the rough material back and forth against your crotch.

It wasn’t until halfway into the act that Lucifer became aware of the compromising situation he had inadvertently designed. You looked down at him through your lashes as his hand stilled, watching how his eyes stared blankly through your stomach. He probably felt like an idiot, and while you didn’t want to further embarrass him, you decided to take advantage of his flustered state.

You slightly parted your legs, immediately snapping Lucifer out of his trance. Before he could stutter out an apology, you reached down and grabbed ahold of his jaw, forcing him to make eye contact with you. He blinked, an unreadable expression on his face as your hand slithered down the column of his throat, feeling the way it bobbed underneath your palm in anticipation.

Of course, you remembered a certain spider was watching from the parlor, so you didn’t do anything inappropriate. In fact, all you did was hook your fingers under Lucifer’s bowtie, encouraging him to stand up until he was at level with your face. You savored the way his ragged breaths fanned against your lips, but only for a bit. Smiling, you relinquished your grip on him.

“I’ll forgive you,” You said, watching how relief washed over Lucifer’s features, “So long as you let me call you daddy.”

“Oh, fuck me,” Lucifer said without further thought.

You blinked, definitely not expecting such a response—but hey, you weren’t complaining. When Angel howled in the background, tossing his head back with a hand over his heart, Lucifer jumped back and began to profusely apologize, unable to believe how little self-restraint he had. You tried to assure him that everything was alright, but the way he practically begged you to fuck him haunted him as he laid in bed later that night, reliving the scene in his dreams, albeit a more explicit version.

Husk:

Husk hardly ever spoke to you, but he indulged in your presence nonetheless. You were the least intrusive individual he had ever met, a trait which was incredibly lacking among Hell’s population. That is why on the rare occasions you got drunk together, he revealed something about himself, chuckling as you listened in awe. His favorite thing to do was play cards with you, though, especially as you had a taste for the typical Vegas experience before your death.

You and Husk weren’t close, however, just closer than most of the residents were with him. Still, Angel Dust suspected the old man harbored a soft spot for you, observing the way his pupils dilated whenever his eyes settled on you. So like a true menace, he decided to utilize the worst tactic possible to confirm his suspicions: a game of Truth or Dare.

“I dare ya to call ol’ whiskers daddy,” Angel said, his gold tooth glistening under the dim light.

You felt your heart plummet into your stomach, the very thought of calling Husk something…suggestive frightening you to the core. You had spent a long time trying to build whatever you two had, so was something as silly as a dare worth risking destroying that?

When Angel said that he knew you’d pussy out upon noticing your reaction, all your worries immediately vanished; you weren’t going to lose to that fucker, not when he looked so smug. Unfortunately, the need to prove him wrong was only enough fuel to get you to the bar.

“Somethin’ the matter?” Husk asked as you took a seat.

Your body language gave you away, but even if you tried to hide how nervous you were, Husk had a knack for reading people. Plus, he knew you enough to know that something was up with you.

“Ah, no, just came over here for a drink,” You said, nervously wringing your hands on your lap.

“What d’ya want?” Husk asked, unconvinced but also not going to push you on the topic, “Somethin’ sweet?”

“You know me so well,” You said, offering him a smile.

“‘Course I do,” Husk chuckled, whipping up a cocktail for you and sliding it across the counter in no time. “Here ya go, doll.”

You accepted the drink, bringing the glass to your awaiting lips, closing your eyes and sighing in content as the salt on the rim mixed with the fruity concoction. Husk never failed to make something as putrid as alcohol taste good, and he knew that, a pleased look on his face as he absorbed your reaction.

When you opened your eyes, you swore he had a look of adoration in his face, but perhaps that was just you. Anyway, as you allowed the alcohol to do its job, you thought about clever ways to call Husk daddy, albeit in vain. Fuck it, you were just going to have to say it, and if he reacted poorly, you could just blame Angel.

“Is it to ya likin’?” Husk asked, settling a hand on his hip as you finished your drink.

You looked up at Husk, face flushed as the alcohol warmed you up…that and the fact that you were about to say something that would most likely shock him. He quirked an eyebrow at you, anticipating your response; but instead, you stuck out your tongue, lapping at the few grains of salt that had collected on your bottom lip. When his eyes dilated at the seductive action, you decided now was the time to strike.

“Sorry, it was just so good,” You said, perching your chin on your palm as you added the next part, “Thanks, daddy.”

Husk had opened his mouth to say ‘You’re welcome,’ but when you called him daddy, he was only able to muster a squeak. You never thought that an old man with a rich baritone voice was capable of producing such an adorable sound, but here you were, biting your lip as you tried not to react. Husk was already pissed, though, especially as Angel laughed unapologetically from the parlor. But at least you would make up for it soon, the sight of you writhing underneath him from overstimulation compensation enough.

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 27/27

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 14.5, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22, PART 23, PART 24, PART 25, PART 26, UPDATE

I debated which POV should I use for this. It was either Vaggie or Charlie.

But then I didn't think I was ready yet to dive into Charlie's inner thoughts after the events of the last chapter.

------------------------------------------

Satan: When the death of the King was announced to us yesterday morning,

Vaggie darted through the palace halls, her steps nearly floating as her wings fluttered slightly, reducing her weight. She could have flown, which would have been faster, but there was a strict rule against flying inside the palace to protect the many precious things that belonged to-

Satan: there struck a deep and somber note in our lives

Anyway, Charlie had banned any kind of flying altogether after a priceless vase was accidentally shattered.

Satan: which resounded far and wide.

As she zoomed past, the servant imps bowed and greeted her politely. She usually returned their greetings, a blend of kindness and a dash of guilt compelling her to do so. Despite the fact that none of the exorcists had killed any Hellborn during their exterminations, it didn't ease her conscience.

She wasn't Adam.

Satan: It stilled the clatter and traffic of all hellish life

Adam.

She wondered where he was now, after taking off with Lute and setting off the bomb that had essentially turned everything to shit, disappearing into the buildings of Pride.

Even she wasn't sure if Charlie could grant that kind of forgiveness.

Vaggie cursed at yet another empty room, soon finding herself at a dead end.

Her movements halted when she caught a glimpse of something flying past the window. She gripped her spear tighter.

Satan: and made countless millions of demon kind throughout the seven rings...

She must have looked pathetic because one of the butlers in the room (Azaeloth, Your Grace) took pity on her and pointed up.

Of course.

Satan: ...pause and look around them.

Vaggie thanked the imp before turning on her heels and heading toward the rooftop.

She probably opened the door a little harder than necessary, the heavy thud echoing in the quiet space, but Charlie didn’t so much as flinch. Instead, her expression remained unreadable against the backdrop of Hell's red sky.

Satan: The late King, who assumed the heavy burden of the crown when he was cast out of the Heavens,

The rooftop balcony overlooking all of Hell is one of the places Charlie often frequents when it all gets a bit too much. It ranks third only to the Hotel and a secret room whose location even Vaggie doesn't know.

Vaggie takes in the sight of Charlie, and it's the same thing she has been seeing for the last two years.

Tired.

Satan: lived through every minute of this struggle

The former exorcist stays by the door. Despite her earlier rush, she just waits. Waits. And waits.

She waits until Charlie releases a sigh and makes a motion with her hand, granting permission to come closer.

Not once does Charlie turn to look at her. The weight of the world seems to press down on her shoulders, gaze fixed on the landscape below.

Satan: with a heart that have faltered but a spirit never broken.

They were still together, and Vaggie liked to think that their love was as strong as ever.

But ever since—

Ever since then, an invisible wall had manifested itself between them. And she understood, really she did. It didn't make it hurt any less.

Vaggie missed the old Charlie.

Satan: In the end, death came as a friend.

Vaggie: Hey.

Vaggie greets Charlie, moving to stand beside her to overlook Pride. The Ring doesn’t look as good as it did back then, but everything was fixed relatively quickly, thanks to their experience with turf wars and the destruction that came with them.

Charlie still doesn’t look at her, but there’s a twitch in her clasped hands.

Satan: And after a gruesome battle of bloodshed,

Vaggie bites the inside of her cheek at the stillness of the moment.

Vaggie: How long have you been here? You'll catch something in this cold.

Cold. Hell is cold.

And it's not right.

Oh if the humans who keep saying 'when Hell freezes over' could see it now.

Satan: and after a sacrifice for those who look up to him,

Charlie: I'm fine, Vaggie. Is something wrong?

Yes! Vaggie wants to yell at her. Yes, of course there's something wrong! Their home is wrong. Their whole life is wrong!

But she can't. God knows they've had that conversation too many times before. It always ended ugly.

Satan: he fell asleep,

So she stills herself and chooses her words carefully.

Vaggie: No-uh, not at the moment. But I got word from Angel that it looks like they caught a few intruders south of the Pentagram. They wouldn't tell me anything yet but..

Charlie finally turns her head to her, a raised eyebrow prompting Vaggie to continue.

Vaggie: I caught a glimpse of a feather and I have a pretty good guess it's the same reason why they are being as discreet as possible.

Satan: as every soul, human or demon, who strives to be free and nothing else in the world, may hope to do.

Angels.

After Him-

It was a massacre, and she participated in the exterminations. She knows what killings look like, but what she witnessed then still makes her stomach twist with discomfort to this day.

Only a few managed to escape to Heaven, while some opted to hide deep underground in Pride, afraid and perhaps forgotten.

Those brave enough to venture outside went straight to the palace or hotel, hoping to find a way back to Heaven.

Satan: Now, we must leave the treasures of the past and turn to the future.

But there is no more Heaven.

Satan: Resilience have been the reigns of the late Majesty.

At least, that's what they think. No rescue missions, no communication, no nothing.

Heaven has been silent, and the only indication they have of its still-beating existence is the glowing white sphere up in the far sky.

That's why angels still take the risk to go to them.

Satan: All of the greatest periods in our history unfolded upon his hands .

But none of them ever make it.

Satan: This new age comes at a time when demonkind stands uncertainly poised..

Charlie: I see.

At the corner of her eye, Vaggie sees the flying figure circle around the city again like a dog guarding their home.

Like a predator looking for its prey.

She reaches out to take Charlie's hand, squeezing it for comfort. For her or for Charlie she's not sure.

Vaggie: Let's go inside. I don't like being outside with that... thing.

Satan: …on the age of catastrophe.

Charlie eyes the flying entity with an expression of cold, hard anger mixed with devastation. The look is gone as soon as it came.

Vaggie would have that look too if it had the face of her dead father.

Satan: I, whose existence was passed in the noble, unchallenged, and tranquil glories of the Luciferian era

She gave Charlie another squeeze but the other doesn't reciprocate.

Vaggie feels like Charlie's slipping from her hold. Her hand tightens just a bit more around her lover's, afraid that if she loosens then Charlie would be gone.

And she can't let that happen.

Satan: may well feel the thrill in invoking once more,

Charlie, who no longer shies away from judgemental eyes.

Satan: the prayer,

Charlie, who stands straight and tall, like a beacon of demon hope.

Satan: and the anthem;

Who looks too small in her royal mantle.

Satan: Long live Charlotte Morningstar,

Who looks imposing as the original Devil with the crown sitting on her head.

Satan: Her Majesty,

Her former self tucked far away inside.

There's a screech of a car down below and a cacophony of distressed voices.

Charlie: They're here.

Satan: The Queen of Hell.

Charlie: Let's go.

------------------------------------------

Lucifer is truly dead here guys. Or is he? 👀

The Crown reference.

The Satan parts is the speech said at Charlie's coronation. Just like in The Crown, she became queen as soon as the former King died.

Fates of Alastor, the Sins, and the others will be addressed in Story 3 of this series!

Yes you read that right. There will be one more story for this. And it will still be Lucifer centric, but the POVs will bounce from character to character.

A trilogy! Wow, I can't believe this.

Thank you all for reading! To those who have supported this story from the very beginning, you were all my motivation and inspiration. I love hearing your theories, your critiques, and your fanarts.

And if you have any questions, my asks and DMs are open! I'd be happy to answer anything to the best of my abilities without spoiler <3

This work is my pride and joy and you guys loving it made me even more proud of myself.

So thank you.

This story is dedicated to the me that couldn't find the fanfic I'm looking for and said fuck it I'll do it myself. And of course, to our dear Lucifer Morningstar.

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fallen {Chapter Seven}

Alastor x (fem)Reader

I knocked gently at Charlie's office door, when I heard her voice telling me to come in, I opened the door and stepped inside. Vaggie was at her girlfriend's side, as Charlie sat in her desk chair. She looked away from Vaggie to focus on me, offering me a kind smile before speaking. "Hi again Y/n. How did your day go?" She asks. I rubbed my arm awkwardly as I stepped closer to her desk. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

Charlie sits up a bit more straight in her chair. "Did things not go well?" She asks, concern lacing her tone. I shrug and give a small smile. "Not really. But uh, I was wondering if I could put my good deeds to work around here at the hotel. I'd like to offer my help in anyway I can, if it means bettering the hotel and getting me into heaven." 

Charlie blinked before her grin returned to her face. "That's so nice! Now that you mention it, there is a few things I could use a little extra help with." She stands from her desk and walks over to me. "Advertisement has always been an issue for this hotel. My first attempt was uh...less than adequate." She says with a sigh. "And as you can tell, this hotel can use a bit of cleaning. Nifty is extremely helpful and does a wonderful job, but I don't want to overwork her. And then of course we could use a boost in moral around here."

Charlie continues. "I feel like everyone could be more entertained while they stay here you know? Something to ensure they enjoy their stay while they recover and walk the road to redemption."

"Why not ask Alastor about that?" I asked. "Isn't he like, all about entertainment?" Charlie grimaced slightly. "Well, as much as I appreciate Alastor's help. His idea of entertainment is kinda...well it's-"

"Terrible." Vaggie finishes. She makes her way to her girlfriend's side. "He's the last person we would ask to provide any entertainment for the hotel or the patients. I don't trust that shitlord to do anything for the hotel's favor. He's up to something, I just know it." She crosses her arms.

Clearly she had a distaste for Alastor, and I don't blame her. "Sadly, it's true. The entertainment part I mean." Charlie clarifies. "I don't want to believe that Alastor is plotting anything. He's helped us out so far." She puts a hand on Vaggie's shoulder, smiling gently. She turns her head to face me. 

"Thank you for offering Y/n. Whatever you can do will help out greatly." I smile softly. "Well, you'd have to thank Alastor too. He's the one who gave me the idea just as I was starting to give up." Charlie and Vaggie seemed a bit shocked by that.

"He did?" Asked Vaggie. I nod my head. "Well." Charlie mutters before clearing her throat. "I suppose I'll have to. Tomorrow I'll talk to you more about what you can do. Until then, enjoy the rest of the evening."

"Alright. I'll see you then." I wave my hand before walking out of her office. Not noticing the confused and slightly concerned expressions on Charlie's and Vaggie's faces.

Once inside my room, I took a deep sigh before reaching up and removing the necklace Alastor gave me. I shutter slightly as my body returned to it's normal form. I set the necklace on my nightstand before stretching my wings out behind me. Looking back, I saw the same scar from before on my wing joint, just as ugly as ever.

I grimace at the memory of my broken wing and aching body. My fall was not a gracious one, though I had no memory of the impact, I absolutely felt the aftermath. I let my wings relax before walking towards a near by window.

I would have stepped out onto the balcony, but someone passing by would have seen me. I hug my arms close to my body as I stared out into the hellish city. 

It surprised me just how similar to a normal city it resembled. I figured it would be vastly different. Sure, suffering was a guarantee down here, that hadn't changed. But, I found some people enjoying themselves, partaking in rather unwise and harmful activities, but enjoying themselves nonetheless.

I most certainly didn't expect any kind of joy to be bad down here.

I guess people really can find the good in even the worst situations. Even if at expense of others, or themselves (unintentionally or not). I gasped as I heard someone knocking at my door. I rushed to grab the necklace, then I heard Alastor's voice. "Oh Y/n? You there?" I sighed in relief before speaking. "Yes, come in."

The door opened, Alastor stepped inside before shutting the door behind him. "I see you're getting comfortable." He says with a grin. I shrug. "That disguise feels weird. Im not use to it. Besides, I'm alone now. Well, I was." Alastor walks further into the room, he glanced over me, his eyes landing on my scar. "Terribly sorry your precious wings got damaged."

"I can't complain. You healed it. I would have been in way worse shape, had it not been to you." I look up at him. "Thank you, by the way. I don't know if I've properly thanked you for what you did."

Alastor raises an eyebrow. "An angel thanking a demon? How unheard of!" He chuckles. "I haven't exactly placed you in a very favorable position." That I could agree with. But again, I didn't have much room to complain. He was at least trying to help me. I think. I mean, there was still that deal we made I have to worry about. Speaking of...

"Alastor? What kind of deal did you make with Husk?"

I was remind of the wariness of the winged cat demon at the mention that I had made a deal with Alastor. Husk didn't seemed harmed at all from the deal, at least not physically. But I didn't know the full extent of it. I was curious, confused, though, Alastor didn't seem too pleased with my curiosity.

His smile strained, his eyes narrowed slightly. "I do believe I've already said this to Husk. But I'll say it to you as well." He says lowly. "I don't believe our business, is any of your concern." I didn't like that answer. 

I wanted to believe it had something to do with privacy. But clearly, something more sinister was lurking below the surface. I don't even know why I'm surprised. He's a demon after all. I thought it would be best I didn't press any further.

However, my curiosity only grew. And a part of me hoped that Husker hadn't suffered because of the deal he made, or won't suffer in the future because of it either.

"Ok." I mutter with a nod of my head. "Very good." Alastor relaxed, his smile returning to normal. "May I at least ask, what will happen if I don't hold up my end of the deal?" I ask carefully.

Alastor hummed. "There will be ramifications for attempting to break a deal, of course. And I assume you know, doing such a foolish thing would not end well for you. Especially when you've made a deal with a demon. A demon, who may not be as forgiving to those who try to oppose him." Alastor smirks. 

"To make a long explanation short, you try anything funny, and you will be punished." Should have known. "I just...I don't know, I just don't think I've held up my end so far. I haven't been very amusing."

Alastor shrugs. "Says you. Though, I can always find ways for you to amuse me." I quickly shook my head. "No thanks. Uh, one more question."

"Go on then." Alastor nods. "What happens if you don't end up your end of the deal?" I asked. Alastor huffs put a short laugh. "My dear, do you take me for some sort of scoundrel?"

"No. I take you for a demon from hell."

"Fair point."

Alastor hums and placed a finger to his chin as he thinks. "I see it this way. Either I can get you into heaven or I can't. And honestly, there is no reason in worrying. We have all of eternity to find a way to get you back in."

I grimace. "Yes but, I'd like to go back before all of eternity." I mutter, causing him to laugh. "Time flies, when time never runs out." I furrow my brows at his confusing words. But I guess it made sense? "Alright. But what if you can't get me into heaven?" I asked. "Than at least I can say I gave it my best shot." Alastor says with a shrug.

Again. I didn't like that answer. "So, I'll just be stuck here forever? That's it?"

 It wasn't wise for me to loose my temper with a demon, or an overlord at that. But I've had enough. Enough of everything. I was forced out of heaven with for reason. Everyone in hell is terrible, though that's expected. I have to disguise myself constantly. I have to fake being a sinner. And now I'm stuck in a deal with this...this unbelievable jerk! And I have had enough of it all!

"That's hardly fair! I've been good my whole life! I devoted myself to god and been the best version of myself I could have possibly been while I was alive! There should be no reason, that I have to be stuck here!" I could feel my face turning red and hot as my anger grew. I couldn't seemed to stop myself from ranting.

"I am willing to do what I have to so I can go back! Even if it means playing into your messed up ways! So darn it, you had better do the same for me!" Alastor wasn't fazed at all by my anger, in fact, he seemed to be enjoying it. He chuckled before speaking. 

"Bold of you to raise your voice to me like that. Very bold indeed." His smirk grew as he leaned down, his face inches from mine. "Perhaps you'd be more entertaining that I had originally though." My anger took over my rationality, my voice laced with venom.

"If you're as half the "proper gentleman" you attempt to be, then you will keep up your end of the deal."

"Or?" He pries. My brows furrow, fists clenched tightly at my sides. Or, nothing. There was really nothing I could do. I was powerless here as far as I knew. And it infuriated me more than anything.

I hate this feeling. The feeling of pure hopelessness, unable to stand up against people like him. It was a feeling I was all too familiar with. And I hated to know it again after all this time.

Alastor spoke when I fell silent. "As I said. There is no use in worrying yourself sick right now. Rest assured, we will get results of some sort." I didn't say anything still. 

The only result I cared about, the only one I wanted, was the one where I went back to heaven. "So. Did Charlie give you any idea of what to do around here?" Alastor asks me, swiftly changing the subject. I sighed. "Yeah. Basically she just needs help with advertisement, cleaning, and ways to keep everyone in the hotel entertained." I tell him. "And before you start, they want nothing to do with your views of entertainment. So please, leave that to me."

Alastor rolled his eyes. "Bunch of kill joys." He muttered. "Very well. I suggest you get some rest then, you have a big day ahead." He walks to my door, before he left he turned to me one last time.

"Keep your spirits up little angel. You'll need it." He says before finally leaving me alone. Alastor walks away from my door and down the hall. His shadow stands tall behind him, it's voice coming out in hushed whispers.

"Do you really think she can go back?"

Alastor laughs gently. "Of course not! There's no way for her to return to heaven. Not unless god comes down here and personally takes her back that is."

"So you plan to fill her mind with delusions? She will figure it out eventually. What then?"

"Trust me, by that point, I am more than certain she would have given up on that silly hope of hers. She's been damned to an eternity in hell. There is no going back." Alastor's grin turned sinister.

"I see. And what will you do with her when that time comes?"

Alastor hums. "Simple. I plan to keep her around as long as I can. Her misery will provide me with great joy. Her hope will be crushed into nothingness. Oh I can only imagine what she must feel when that happens." He laughed again.

"I can hardly wait."

[imustbenuts]

Seadall, localization, food, EABS culture, and discussion of Eating Disorder. Trigger Warning.

tl;dr: Seadall is pandering to an East Asian Beauty Standard, technically does not have eating disorder, but is bordering on Disordered Eating, and both the writers and localizers know it.

Our first official male dancer of FE has a bit of a obsession over controlling his diet to a concerning degree. But is it actually an Eating Disorder? No, I don't think so. From my pov, this has everything to do with his job, a Dancer and the dreaded East Asian Beauty Standard (EABS).

EABS idealizes the fair skinned (asian colorism rAAAAGH), the lean and thin. Any level of fats or flaps are no good and is considered undesirable, or worse, a sign of one's gluttonous and even slothful character. IRL, that sentiment has become less pervasive, less judgemental and less awful than 10 years ago, but it's still around. Hell, it's in our Fire Emblems! Average out the body shapes of all dancers or even characters in FE and you'll see what I mean.

(are you in hell yet.)

This EABS is especially prevalent in 1 genre of media that comes pouring out of Japan and Korea... The Pop Idol scene. In Japan, the idol industry can be traced back to the 1960s, and though it has propped up the EABS, this standard's roots goes FURTHER back to even pre-colonialism era, to China and the Tang Dynasty where willowy female bodies were ideal. (That's 618-907AD.)

And when I say EABS, I will include the surrounding countries outside of Japan too. Similarities in culture and all that. Hence East Asian. (Don't be mistaken though. South East and South Asia also has to deal with this shit.)

But hey. I'm still talking about female EABS, right? Where does Seadall fall into this?

Uhhhh. Jumpscare. Surprise K-pop.

(ps i dont know k-pop as well so idk who these ppl are im sorry waaaaug)

Dancers and the Idol Industry

It's easier to see on the female side, but uh, that specific body shape is often achieved through extreme dieting. The body fat % is so low that the dancer's lower ribcage can be seen. Before shooting the dance or a performance, these idol's agencies will notify them to slim down to a certain goal, like say drop 2kg (4.4 lbs) or 4kg (8.8 lbs) in x time, and this is typical. Guys here are no exception.

Weight is manufactured. Looks to some extent (plastic... surgery....). The clothes too, are intentionally picked. Exposing the belly is common since it's the quickest indicator of skinniness.

But hey, I actually lied about the dieting part. It's not really dieting as it's actually straight up starvation, tbh. To lose that weight, the dancers/idols will often eat as little as some protein shake, a few fruits and maybe potato for fiber. Yes, it's as hellish as it sounds, and no, these people are unable to fully function with a calorie intake like this. Source for this claim will be in a video at the bottom of the post by youtuber chaebin n out, titled "How K-POP Destroys Your Body". So.

W̵͓͍̏͝e̴͉̾ḽ̷͈͐ĉ̶̠̝͋ö̶̤́m̷̲̒ê̶̬ ̶̧̅ṭ̷̘͑͑ö̵͇́ ̸̛͖̑h̵̳̿͝ė̶͕͉l̵̜͖̇͗ḻ̶̑!̴̪͊̉

Ok, but that's K-pop. What about J-pop?

Japan, where FE rolls out from, have J-pop, which is slightly different. J-pop idols also suffer from EABS but afaik it's not as extreme. Many contemporary J-pop idol groups like Atarashii Gakko!(left) and Babymetal(right) also Do Not make thinness a major selling point with their costuming. This is usually done through hiding the midriff, where belly fat most easily forms. (EABS is still in effect though, don't be mistaken! There could be just as extreme cases out there I'm not aware of ;_;)

So it seems like people kind of agree that obsessing about weight and developing body image issue is messed up.

Hopefully now I've established what is going on irl for Seadall's influences, and what is considered normal or extreme. Relatively anyway. (I hate EABS so much hhggr)

Let's detour to...

Food! Staples! What's normal?

An average meal in Japan consists of a variety of veggies, tofu and a serving of protein, which results in lower fat intake. Also, RICE is a major staple in these meals, so assuming the writers are approaching it with the best intentions, and how Engage's normal might appear to native Japanese audiences, JP Seadall's worry only seems to be on oily food intake and is not overly concerning to me.

In fact, here is an example of a staple set meal (teishoku) I ate over there last December. Yum yum:

Overall a very lean meal. So it's likely Seadall eats something similar-ish and not just greens.

Another important point is that in (East) Asia/Japan, oily food is seen as unhealthy and contributes greatly to cholesterol. This aversion to oily food is driven somewhat by EABS and... Health. I also promise most people are actually chill about this. ...Most people! Meat is yummy! Gyukaku and Ikinari Steak is popular and popping! That's why Seadall likes it after all.

So this is where Seadall's writing starts to contrast. For the most part in the EN version, he only worries about meat. In JP, it's technically oily food, which meat falls under, and he's worried about putting on weight.

Why the extreme worry tho...?

The logic for why all these matters so much to him is this: if a dancer is surrounded by other dancers who are reinforcing this EABS (mirroring the standards of the real world), then their only choice to stay relevant and keep their job is to commit to the same dietary choice and uphold the same EABS, or even have a EABS outperforming the standard.

Because a Dancer's job, or rather, Seadall's job is to pander to people's ideals of beauty. Hence his supports where hair and skin and food becomes a topic.

If he fails the standard, according to the J-pop and K-pop industry, he kind of fails at his job. Is it fair? Fuck no, but no matter what opinion we may think of the standard as outsiders, it remains that there is a LOT of social conditioning and manufacturing going on leading to... all of that. I scream too. I scream a lot, internally.

So what does Seadall look like to someone in this East Asian sphere...?

To the writers credit, they do push for Seadall to indulge more food that makes him happy for at least his mental well-being through the other characters.

This also happens to fall in line with Engage's low key theme of cherishing the moment.

With all I've explained, Seadall might come across as warning to those who over-worry about oily food consumption and trying to pander to an EABS to... chill the fuck out. That it's ok to just go eat some delicious yakiniku if you want to! Go off! If a female character who is concerned with this comes across as too vain, then let's have a guy do it and hope the point lands for the (potentially female) players.

And with all these missing context, it's very easy for one who isn't clued into this sphere assume that Seadall has some eating disorder or that the writers are advocating it. I don't think that's happening here at all. The localizers likely are aware of this missing context and have toned it down several levels for EN release. Wise move, tbh.

(progressiveness can be relative btw. something to keep in mind @_@)

So, is Seadall coming close to some kind of Disordered Eating? Possible. From what I see I think the writers are trying to push Seadall away from it, and trying to stop it from becoming a full blown Eating Disorder. Personally, again, I don't think he has an Eating Disorder.

However! Your Mileage May Vary. I only hope for my opinion and understanding to help inform others, not override it. What's normal for me isn't for everyone, and vice versa, but it's important to remember where Fire Emblem originates from.

And here's the last thing I promised: the video essay if you really want to dive into it:

And that's about it.

Hope this was interesting! Thanks for reading. 😄

EDIT: the Chinese net sphere is the exception to all of this, EABS is especially bad there

[foreveryourseternally]

Enjoy the Silence

Frankenstein’s monster x reader

Part three

   Upon waking up you found yourself tucked underneath the covers of your bed, which was odd since you had no recollection of doing so. In fact, most of your memory was hazy, your brain still clouded with fog from sleeping. Looking around your room in hopes of trying to figure out what was happening, you’re eyes wandered to the window before all at once everything flooding back to you. The creature, it’s grotesque face, the knocking, the eyes, your fear, it all came rushing back and caused you to let out a gasp in shock. How could you have ended up here? Where was the beast? Was it all a dream? No, it couldn’t be, you reassured yourself, you were too lucid when it happened and besides, this had been an event that occurred over multiple days. Although, if this was true, you still had no idea as to how you ended up in your bed unharmed. Moving from the bed you scanned over the room again, this time with much more intensity, but nothing stirred or appeared out of place. The room was dark, it was still night, which confused you even more, what day was it, was this perhaps a dream, or possibly the afterlife? Once again you told yourself no, this couldn’t be your afterlife, you weren’t dead, or at least you certainly didn’t think you were dead. 

   The sound of soft footsteps caught you off guard and forced you out of thought. It came from the other side of your bedroom door, but you had no clue who it could be. Was it the person responsible for putting you in bed? A savior maybe, someone who had by some miracle sensed the creature and managed rescue from it. Had this person been hunting the beast for some time? Or could it have just been a lucky surprise. You furrowed your brow trying to work out the details, but ultimately decided it was best you confront them yourself and of course thank them for saving you from what was sure to be your demise. You approached the door and by the time you had begun to turn the handle you noticed that the footsteps had stopped, anxiously you pulled open the door and expected to met with a noble stranger, but instead found nothing. You crossed the threshold and peered around your living room trying to figure out where they could have possibly gone. You walked gingerly from the living room towards the back of the house, and jumped slightly when you heard shuffling coming from your study. You blinked hard trying to remind yourself that this person was your savior before continuing your walk before stopping in front of the slightly ajar door to the study. You contemplated on whether or not you should just walk right in without making your presence known beforehand, after all this was your house, but decided against it, as you had no idea how the stranger would react. 

   Knocking carefully on the door as to not force it open, you heard more shuffling from the other side, before a voice responded. “You’re a wake,” said a deep male voice, that had a slight accent to it, “come in,” it finally continued after a pause. You pushed the door the rest of the way open and took a few steps into the room before your eyes landed upon the speaker. To your complete horror it was that abomination, that monster, that creature, the beast. Immediately you were in utter and complete shock and terror you stumbled back a little and managed to grab the door knob to prevent yourself from falling. You tried to speak but all that came out was a set of low groans and indistinguishable noises of distress. The creature, who sat on one of your chairs faced you at the sound of your distress and what appeared to be a puzzled look spread across it’s hellish face. It frowned recognizing your fear and slowly stood and began to approach you. Unfortunately, you couldn’t move, too paralyzed with fear to force yourself to run, instead you finally fell to the floor and watched in horror as the monster go closer. Once it stood less than two or so feet away it crouched down in an attempt to be eye level with you; an action that was useless due to its inhuman stature. It stared at you intensely with it’s yellow eyes, all you could do was shake and stare back in absolute dread. Eventually you realized that tears had also begun to fall from your eyes and only hoped the thing would take pity and grant you a quick death. It leaned in closer at this point and hesitantly began to stretch one arm out towards you, as a result you closed your eyes tightly and winced trying to keep yourself from crying harder. Yet, death never came, instead the hand, which you were certain was going to be your end, gently held you jaw and made you turn toward the creature once more. Stunned you opened you eyes as tears continued to fall, it thing still stared at you and hand that was on your jaw cautiously moved upward to rest at the side of your face as this monster began to stroke it’s thumb over you cheek and lower eye, in an attempt to soothe you and wipe away your tears. You stared that the entity and allowed it to continue touching you, everything was silent, but after some time you sniffled before softly croaking out, “Why?”

[beevean]

Retranslating parts of the Curse of Darkness script

I thought to replay the game again, this time with Japanese voices to change the experience a little

I’m not sure whether the translation was JP -> ENG or ENG -> JP: it looks like the latter to me due to the lip sync. Anyway, the two versions are surprisingly faithful to each other, but I wanted to check if there were any interesting differences... and there are :P

For reference, I used this playthrough for the Japanese cutscenes, and the English script in the wiki.

First cutscene

Many interesting differences in this iconic cutscene. Isaac sounds much angrier in Japanese than he does in English, and I think he’s quite less effeminate too, although they couldn’t change his body language :P

ENG: With this, the most forbidden of arts, a wisp of conjured matter can be transformed into a hellish devil! There are but two humans who possess this magnificent power: you and I.

JP: A forbidden secret art feared by humans. Creating a devil that serves you and you only, from a bundle of magical power! There are only two people in this world who have mastered this power: you and I.

Additional details provided by the Japanese version: Devil Forging is “feared by humans”, implying their tragic pasts as outcasts of humanity, and Hector and Isaac aren’t the only ones with this power, but they’re the absolute best in their field. I also like the description of “bundle of magical power”, although both versions are equally “mystical” in this regard lol. Calling the Devil Forging “secret art” also refers to the name of the track playing in this scene, Flattery With The Secret Arts (“秘術との迎合”).

(speaking of “you and I”, Hector and Isaac use ore for themselves and kisama for each other.)

ENG: Ah, but you will, Hector. And soon! You have no choice. Without it, I could crush you in an instant... but that wouldn't be very satisfying, now would it?

JP: What's the point of a boring oath? It would be easy to destroy you here and now. You, who gave up your powers and became the lowest of the low, nothing but mere scum.

I love how in the cutscene you can see Isaac rolling his eyes at Hector’s oath so his snarky remark in Japanese is even more fitting 😂 but also geez man, I haven’t taken control of Hector yet and you’ve already killed him.

(if in English the last part sounds clunky, the original phrase is “ただのカスと成り下がった”: I really wanted to convey as much of Isaac’s contempt in English as I could)

ENG: You deserve a most gruesome fate for the humiliation you brought upon me three years ago.

JP: However, even if I destroyed such a thing, it wouldn’t make up for the humiliation I received three years ago.

The wording is vague, this is the version that makes the most sense to me. The Japanese line sounds even more bitter, as if even Isaac understands that it’s all futile and killing Hector won’t restore his old life, but he has literally nothing left other than his hatred.

(and yes, he says “such a thing”, which is a very Japanese expression but I’ve decided to keep it because, just in case it wasn’t clear enough, Isaac may be a little peeved at Hector :V)

ENG: But in the end, the glorious vengeance you seek will not be yours -- t'will be mine!

JP: That's it. I'll be waiting for you, as the former strongest Devil Forgemaster of the Dark Lord’s army.

No idea why they completely changed the line here, but Isaac’s farewell in Japanese is slightly more condescending. As a note, he actually calls Dracula “Demon King”.

Yes, all of these are Isaac’s lines. It’s not favoritism: Hector’s lines in Japanese and English are nearly identical to each other. Except for this one:

ENG: Heed my words. I will hunt you down like the beast you are. I will have my revenge!

JP: Very well! I'll do as you wish! And I will corner you, without fail!

... man, poor Hector doesn’t sound nearly as raw in Japanese :(

(well, this fits the different voices: Takahiro Yoshimizu sounds much younger and softer than Crispin Freeman. I had no idea Freeman carried most of Hector’s badassery)

Also, in the Japanese version, the name is for some reason translated as “Abolition Castle”! But the kanji correctly mean “Abandoned Castle” (“廃城”).

~

Creating an Innocent Devil

Minor, but Hector calls Isaac “polite” (“丁寧”) because he went through all the trouble of carving instructions on a stele, and after the previous cutscene I find it hilarious 😂

(actually, the whole mental image of Isaac taking the time to write guides for Hector is hilarious, they really used to be friends lmao)

ENG: O great powers of darkness! Release to me one of the tortured souls! Let me infuse him with my life-force and awaken him to the world of the living! Immaculate being... Appear before me now.

JP: O magical power, converge here! Play the melody of an irrational soul, under my command, a person who is not of the human world. Innocent soul, come to life here!

The Devil Forging formula was hard to translate. Yes, it uses musical terminology, しらべ (melody) and 奏でる (to play a stringed instrument). The most interesting part is how it specifies that Devil Forgemasters don’t belong to the human world, a theme quite pervasive in Hector’s and Isaac’s arcs.

(nothing interesting with the conversation with Zead. He simply calls Devil Forging “splendid”, a downgrade from “it’s enough to make your blood run cold”. He uses watashi and speaks rather politely.)

~

“Baljhet Mountains” is spelled as “Balget Mountains” (“Baljit Mountain Range” in Japanese), which I prefer.

Not much to report about the cutscene where we meet Julia. The most unique change is that she doesn’t outright say that she can envision the future in Japanese: she simply “has some knowledge” (“それなりの知識はあるわ”). To be fair, it’s not like we ever see her powers lol, although it ruins my headcanon about her and Isaac sharing powers :( As for her speech pattern, she uses watashi and often ends sentences in wa but she’s otherwise quite brusque. Hector calls her kimi, and most importantly forget about the Shakespearan style she and Hector use to talk to each other in English, here they speak like normal people :P

~

St. Germain

ENG: I won't bandy words with you. I have an urgent request. Please refrain from pursuing Isaac any further.

JP: I'm here to ask a favor of you, it's a little thing. Please stop chasing Isaac any further. 

St. Germain is even more polite in Japanese, as expected. He uses watashi for himself and speaks in perfect keigo.

Hector also calls St. Germain “Isaac’s minion” (“手先”) specifically, and St. Germain says “adios” when he leaves lol. (sonic adventure 2 reference?)

Garibaldi Temple is also the Cathedral of Garibaldi.

~

Trevor

ENG: For one that served under Dracula, you seem much too weak. It's been said that the Devil Forgemaster's power rivals that of Death.

JP: You’re too weak to be the only surviving Devil Forgemaster, who was said to be equal to Dracula's aide Death.

It just says that Devil Forgemasters are “equal to” Death, not that they’re specifically as strong as Death - obviously that’s implied, but the use of the word “同等” also implies that Hector and Isaac were equals to Death in rank. That’s pretty high up.

Also, “The only surviving Devil Forgemaster” makes Hector’s comment “Oh, so you’re hunting Isaac as well” flow a little better: you can see how he could make the connection that Trevor only knew about Isaac. In English the “surviving” bit was moved later (“Could he have survived? It cannot be”), and Hector’s comment feels more forced. (although it’s still odd because Isaac was into hiding all those years, so why does Trevor assume that one Forgemaster survived but the other died? oh well)

(of course, Trevor also uses ore for himself and kisama for Hector)

~

The cutscene at the beginning of Mortvia Aqueduct is unremarkable, but the level is named “Mortavia Ruins” (“Mortavia Aqueduct” in Japanese). Why did they take out the A? It sounds better :(

~

Zead vs. St. Germain

ENG: That's ridiculous. You have different rules for yourself--

JP: What a funny joke. Your objective--

Not only St. Germain comes off as more sarcastically polite (Zead calls him kisama but he reciprocates with the courteous anata), the dialogue hints more strongly at Zead’s suspicious nature. He has an objective that we aren’t allowed to hear, huh?

ENG: I cannot have you interfering any longer. 

JP: I won't let you get in our way anymore.

Yep, our way (“我々”). Just in case you didn’t find Zead suspicious enough.

Finally, not quite related to translation, but I find the name of the track playing here interesting: Those Who Desire the Resurrection (“復活を望む者”). I think it should be singular, for obvious reasons.

Also, please enjoy this utter mangling of “Jigramunt”:

(technically it says “Jigrumunt” in katakana, but the English spelling is just beautiful)

~

The siblings’ sad fate

Not much to report about the cutscenes with Isaac and Julia in Cordova Town (or “Town of Cordoba” in Japanese), except one line that hit me hard:

EN: And also... if you are the one to slay him... only then could I live with it.

JP: Only then I could accept it. Even if I lose my family...

I think we’re all sleeping on how much Julia was hurting through CoD, game itself included :( Michiru Yamane as usual gets it.

~

Fight with St. Germain

Eneomaos Machine Tower is the even weirder “Clock Tower of Eneomaios”.

Only one line stood out to me:

ENG: In this space, I may be partially freed of the fetters of time.

JP: If you are here, the shackles of time will be partially released.

Actually there is no subject in the first part, but I assume that St. Germain is talking about Hector because he just confirmed that he entered Zead’s “trap” normally. Again, I think it makes the conversation flow better.

~

Trevor vs. Isaac

Similarly to Geclmunt, the name of Aiolon Ruins gets twisted into Iororn Ruins. It’s spelled correctly in katakana.

And this line from Isaac baffled me for days.

ENG: You vanquished Lord Dracula by a fluke, a mere twist of fortune. Yet I grant, you are adept.

JP: Not for nothing you destroyed Lord Dracula, even though it was a fluke. But the game is just about to begin.

Other translations would be “no wonder you destroyed Lord Dracula...” or “as expected from the one who destroyed Lord Dracula...” (“ドラキュラ様を滅ぼしただけのことはある”).

While his voice still sounds angry, Isaac is much more impressed by Trevor in Japanese: in English he sounds like he’s tacking on the half-hearted praise by force, while in Japanese it’s the other way around, as if the “fluke” part is an afterthought. I am genuinely surprised. Isaac, hon, why are you being so flattering with the man who killed your Lord? So let me get this straight, you’re a complete ass to Hector, you called him scum, and sure I don’t blame you, but Trevor nooo, even though he ruined your life just as much as Hector did you’re standing there like “oh wow you’re awesome, now I know why Lord Dracula was defeated!”.

between this and the stabbing scene, i think i understand now why the japanese side of the fandom seems to prefer isaavor over isaactor. yeah. yeah i don’t blame y’all. and trevor ain’t kidding either, in english he says “you’re not without skill” but in japanese he says “you’re pretty good” - i’d say “just kiss already”, but isaac already got me covered so :V

ENG: On the contrary. To obtain the vengeance I seek, Isaac must be slain by my hand alone. Ergo, nothing was lost. 

JP: Not really. After all, I promised that I would defeat Isaac with my own hands. I’m rather relieved.

I like how Hector puts it as a promise, the one he made to Julia, and not just his own selfish sense of revenge. He cares and was touched by Julia’s sadness. On the other hand, he’s outright relieved that he still has the chance to kill Isaac himself, now that’s the badass Hector I know and love.

(this is also where Hector and Trevor switch to omae for each other, indicating that they’ve become closer allies, even if Trevor is still being a prideful asshole :P)

~

Rematch against Trevor

ENG: “Oh, so that is why he fought me earlier!”

“What is it, Belmont?”

JP: “Damn it! The battle earlier...!”

“Why are you panicking?”

Trevor is more worried about the fact that Isaac stole his blood, and Hector notices it. I like how more serious this version sounds.

ENG: This is your reason! Defend yourself! 

JP: No arguing! Let’s go!

I’ll just point this out because Trevor says “問答無用”, and when I searched it to double check if it had any other meaning, I discovered that yes, it does. It’s a porn genre, apparently. Just wanted to share.

But yeah, the English version is funnier this time :P

ENG: For now, hold the image of Isaac in your mind. Think only of defeating him. Hector... Hunt him down. And when you have him, show him no mercy.

JP: I want you to concentrate on defeating him now. I’m depending on you, Hector. Make sure you catch up with him.

Uh... well, the two versions say the same thing, but Trevor’s tone feels weird to me. I can’t quite put my finger on it, so I’ll just leave this here. In general, I never understood why he’s taking Isaac so personally.

~

The Infinite Corridor became the Corridor of the Inferno, wow! Interestingly, the first part of the Japanese name, “無間”, means “ceaseless”, but is also associated to the Buddhist Avici Hell (“無間地獄”), or Hell of Uninterrupted Suffering. Welp.

Nothing to report in the Stabbing scene, as much as I wish it was, except that listening to it in Japanese is an experience that needs to be had. this is the point where cod officially becomes an animated yaoi audio drama

~

Before Dracula’s Castle

I just wanted to show how much better the dialogue flows in Japanese :P

ENG: “I know not what happened to you in the past, but there is no time now for regret. We must try to cleanse the castle and dispel the vile curse...”

“If the curse from demonic power, I may be able to find the source! Indeed, I must, for this is something only I can do.”

JP: “I don't know what happened, but there’s no time to regret it. At the very least, we have to stop the curse somehow...”

“If the source of the curse is magical power, I might be able to do something about it. No, it’s something that only I can do. ”

Is this your idea of flirting, guys? :P

~

Rematch against Isaac

Much like the first cutscene, this one is juicier than the previous ones when it comes to dialogue changes. I don’t know why it’s Isaac in particular who changed so much in translation.

ENG: You want me to regain my powers. Now I see why. I fell right into your plot... After 3 years of peace, I'd lost my edge.

JP: You must feel good about yourself, don’t you? I fell right for your scheme. You’ve fallen so low... and so did I.

Finally it’s Hector’s turn to have a completely different, intriguing line. In English, there’s almost an undertone of... respect, for how Isaac played him like a fiddle? In Japanese, Hector sounds more biting (and tbf Isaac is even more of a little shit here lol, he’s like “Thank you so much for resurrecting the castle <3″) and much more disappointed in himself. No reference to his powers and how he was rusty: he doesn’t care about Isaac’s plot, he cares about the guilt he’s feeling. Then you remember how he was ready to die in the ending, and well...

The last line is “落ちぶれたものだ、この俺もな”. “落ちぶれる” means “to come down in the world; to fall low; to be ruined; to be reduced to poverty; to fall on hard times​”, or "a person's social status and standard of living deteriorate, and they become miserable”. Very... interesting choice of word, to say the least.

ENG: And I've sharpened mine. I've been waiting quite a long time to plot my revenge. Not only did my Lord die because of you -- you stripped me of my pride, my home. Now I shall make you suffer as I suffered. You shall die a most painful, gruesome death!

JP: It's merely an entertainment to me. Three years ago, you defeated me. And then I lost my Lord Dracula... my pride, a place to return to... Everything, yes, you took everything away from me. Have a taste of the same hellish torment and die in despair!

Obviously Isaac’s response differs, but that’s not the main point.

His final words hurt. “Have a taste of the same hell” should be the anthem of every tragic villain lashing out. Both versions are good, but I feel the Japanese one really points out how much Isaac suffered because of Hector’s actions: notice especially how “I plotted my revenge for a long time” (emphasizing Isaac’s role as the villain of the story) was replaced with “I was defeated by you three years ago”, originally in passive (emphasizing Isaac being a victim).

I wish they kept his scream at the beginning of the boss fight, though. That’s just raw :(

~

Not much to say about the “Zead is Death” scene, although TIL that in Japanese “black curtain” is a way to say “mastermind”. A bit of a different nuance, Zead doesn’t say “Devil Forgemasters alone are suffused in my master's magic” but “Devil Forgemasters are always [constantly] with my master's magic”. Hector calls Death “close associate” (“側近”). Death doesn’t say that Hector was the favorite but Isaac will do - thank you, I think my man was humilated enough :V

~

Dracula

For some reason, this cutscene feels like a bit of a downgrade in Japanese. For example, Dracula doesn’t greet Hector calling him “the traitor”, shame.

ENG: Why did you unleash your hatred upon the humans? When you began slaughtering them indiscriminately, I had no choice but to disobey you.

JP: Three years ago, when you showed your hatred for humans... I just couldn't allow it.

The Japanese version is vaguer, both in describing Dracula’s genocide and Hector’s reaction.

ENG: You side against me... for the sake of humans? Humans are not worth the air they breathe. I was simply cleansing the world.

JP: Is that so. But you must have realized... Human beings don't even deserve to exist. That's the truth of the world.

“Humans aren’t worth the air they breathe” deserved to be translated faithfully :(

ENG: The powerful always judge the weak. The humans made their judgment of me, as well. Thus I sentenced them... to extinction. Sympathy is merely a form of weakness. You betrayed me, Hector... And for that, the punishment is death.

JP: The powerful have the right [to judge humans]. The humans who destroyed me with their power... Yes, as if they were brandishing justice. But now I grow tired of this nonsense. Traitor... I'll make you pay the price of what you did three years ago.

See what I mean? It doesn’t feel the same. “Sympathy is merely a form of weakness” could have been kept.

(Dracula uses watashi for himself but speaks plainly. Hector doesn’t speak with respect to Dracula, but he still calls him anata.)

~

Dracula’s death

To compensate for how flaccid the previous cutscene was, Hector tells Dracula “rest in peace and perish” (“安心して、滅びるがいい”), and I think that is the rawest thing he has ever said in the Japanese version.

ENG: The struggle has ended. I feel I can let go now, and die in peace.

JP: It's all over. Am I going to die like this? That wouldn’t be bad...

For some reason the Japanese version feels sadder, like Hector just accepted in that moment that it would be better to die :(

(“That wouldn’t be bad” gets echoed at the very end, when Hector accepts to live with Julia, and that is enough to mend my heart lmao)

ENG: You see through it all, don't you?

JP: I'm no match for you, am I?

Okay this is cute lol

~

And that’s it! The last two cutscenes are very straightforward.

This was very fun to translate :D overall, I prefer the Japanese script in its changes, although the English script is iconic in its hamminess lmao. If the Japanese version is the translation as I think, they did an excellent job, and I appreciate how they adapted Hector and especially Isaac.

[a-bucket-of-trash]

The Garden of Horrors- Kelvin x Female Reader – Part 11/?

Part 10

You were back in your bunker, knowing that you should at least wait ten more days to find out when the fuck you'd get off that hellish island. You were tired, you had expected to have, even an idea of when it would be, no more extensions, no more uncertainties and doubts. You wrote the information to Kelvin, handed the notepad back to him, and just sat heavily on the bed, with quite a bit of your broken spirit. Part of you had the anguishing suspicion that those ten days would become twenty, thirty and who knows how many more.

The deaf soldier read the information, looking at you. It was good news after all, he didn't understand why you were so down, so he sat next to you and wrote a “What's wrong? You look sad”.

"I'm tired" You wrote to him "From surviving, from the cannibals, from the island, from everything..." You sighed, handing him back the paper, seeing him return a "From me?" while he looked at you sadly.

You smiled softly, denying him. Despite everything, no, you weren't tired of him, quite the contrary, he was the only thing worth holding out a little longer. And it is that even though you wanted to keep a healthy distance, it was difficult for you. Kelvin was very close, very affectionate, and you really liked how he treated you, despite the fact that your brain told you that it wasn't right. You were tired of that too, of constantly trying to raise the walls in your heart that he destroyed only with his warm eyes.

You gave a small sigh, leaning against his side, your head on his shoulder. You were exhausted from thinking, you wanted to stop for a moment, stop everything, sleep for a while, forget about the thousand things that were on your mind. You saw the notepad close to your face, in Kelvin's hand, with a “Take the rest of the day off, leave me in charge, rest. You took care of me several times, let me take care of you today” written.

It was true, since you had arrived on the island, you had been sleeping so badly that you could feel your dark circles under your eyes, even if you did not see them, besides that being tense almost constantly was making your body ache in areas where you did not know it could hurt. It was already past noon, maybe taking a few hours off would do you good, maybe even having sex with him would do you good, but no, everything except that last one.

You nodded, sighing again, slowly laying back on the bed, somewhat exhausted from that life, noticing that he settled behind you to rub your back, pushing you a little so that you were face down. You felt his hands massaging the muscles of your neck and back a bit, with a slight motor clumsiness, but well enough to be relaxing.

He realized how much tension you had accumulated over the days, he could feel it, it was as if you were physically ready to attack a cannibal at any time, so he stayed for a long time, trying to relax you, watching you close your eyes, noticing your slightly less rigid energy.

You smiled wider when his fingers stayed in your hair, slowly rubbing and massaging your scalp, before falling asleep like a stone.

Kelvin smiled tenderly, seeing you sleep with a slightly more relaxed expression than usual, so he carefully covered you with a blanket and let you rest, while he went out of the bunker.

You opened your eyes, eventually, waking up, smelling the somewhat sweet scent of the bunker, seeing some bouquets of wildflowers tucked into some empty cans. The guilty behind that had evidently been watching you because he approached you and bent down to tenderly kiss your cheek. You saw him look at you tenderly while you looked at the time on the Rolex that Alan had left, noticing that it was already quite late, it was going to get dark soon.

"Fuck, I slept like seven hours" You rubbed your eyes, while you sat calmly and watched Kelvin leave the bunker quickly. You stayed for a moment stretching, feeling much less sore, looking at the flowers, until the soldier returned, handing you a huge plate of hot food with a spoon.

"What?" You saw the plate and to him "Did you cook?" You saw him point to himself, as if confirming that it was him. You smiled softly, since until then you were the one in charge of making food for both of you.

Kelvin sat next to you, to watch you eat. Hesitating you looked at the plate, seeing the quantity. Either you would both eat from there or he was trying to get you to gather energy so you would hibernate in winter like a bear. You offered him the spoon and he shook his head, gesturing for you to eat. It was all for you.

You didn't really know what that was, but you suspected that he had used something from a couple of military rations. It smelled good, so you tasted carefully.

"Oh fuck!" Your eyes widened. That tasted outrageously delicious. You didn't know where he had gotten the ingredients or the skill, but thank goodness he had prepared so much. You ate as if it were your last dinner, savoring it, to the point that you were gathering the little juice that was left on the plate with the spoon, you didn't want to waste anything.

As soon as you finished, you looked for the notepad to write “Best food ever. You are amazing, Chef Kelvin”, happy. He laughed tenderly reading it, happy to know that he had made a delicious meal for you.

You yawned with a full stomach. Slowly you wrote “Did something happen while I was sleeping? Do you need help with something?". You saw him take the notepad, read it, and toss it aside like he was telling you to forget about it.

"Fuck, you're cute" You caressed his cheek, laughing "Cute little deaf boy."

You lay back on the bed, patting at your side, watching him immediately take off his vest and lie down. You snuggled up next to him, resting your chin on his chest, looking up at him. You knew you were giving in, you knew you were falling in love, but by God it was hard for you to stay apart. You hugged him tightly, sighing, feeling his arms surround you, keep you close, and his lips leaving hundreds of tiny, overly tender kisses on your forehead and head.

You stayed still, enjoying the ton of love that was soaking your soul and you let yourself be cradled by his immense warmth, until you fell asleep again, under the rain of kisses that had not stopped.

Part 12

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

Eyes blazing red hot now turned to glare down at him. It was as if Hell itself opened their gated and unleashed their flaming fury from within those wide harrowing eyes. “I know of your kind, not very many of you are the trustworthy sort!” The Vampire King, however would keep his hellish gaze trained upon the newcomer, clawed fingers flexing, bones popping “....But, you have my attention. Tell me, how do you intend to deal with this matter?”

As Crimson Embers weighed down upon the cloaked man, even tall as he was physically, he did not waver nor stagger... if anything, he stood his ground, as slate-colored eyes met the Vampire King's gaze...

...a stony, resilient gaze that began to glow with an equal-yet-opposite bitter chill of Azure, flecked ever so slightly with an Amber akin to a predator's gaze... for while the being who stood at the foot of the throne of his Ally's Father-in-Law-to-Be was indeed a Fae, he was no ordinary one... rather, he was a Lord in his own right, of a heritage as noble and long-storied as the purest of Vampires', and tied to the root of his own kind's source as Dracula was in kind; a Fae Descendant of The Wild Hunt itself.

...All the same, while he did not bend or break, in will or in eye contact, the Lord of the Fae bowed politely all the same, if not so deeply as most, before he answered Dracula's query - speaking not as a rival or a supplicant, an adversary or a beggar, but as a respectful equal; one who understood the power and weariness alike of Lordship, and wished to offer his aid with grace and eloquence.

"...the boy is rough, boorish perhaps, but not a lost cause; and though he is rebellious and flippant, are not most children around that age, when they do not understand? I do not mean to presume, Sir, but as a parent I have no doubt you have dealt with some shade of that fact before... merely punish him, no matter how grievously, and he will resent it... but I have trained many of all ages over the many years and many faces of my past, and I understand that what he needs to change is not the stick, but the carrot... allow me to educate him, give him a new role model and mentor to look to, and I will not only occupy him against further misdemeanors but offer alternatives for him to focus upon."

The fellow Lord held out a hand to his side, as a small owl with oddly matte-blue eyes flew in, depositing a wooden staff covered in still-living foliage to its grasp, before resting atop its knotted tip... the Fae again speaking up once he held the twisted tree proudly, yet without aggression - for in its own right the act of using a tree as a staff was a part of his heritage, and a clue to the Vampire King as to his true nature and origins.

"...in truth, while his prior actions were rash and uninformed, Finn has already sworn to protect Alexander's family - both to make amends for his mistake as much as on the merits of his own ethics; punishing him further may make sense from one perspective, but from another simply wastes another resource that could be better spent protecting your progeny and her chosen partner; a gamble, for some, but not with my tutelage directing and refining the child. He already hosts a great power, not dissimilar to that of my own kind in nature, which is largely responsible for his survival thus far in light of your curse, but left unchecked there is no telling what he may do, much less become... and while cutting is always one option, there are other methods of polishing a rough gem until it shines. I merely wish to show my worth - my own Court is allied to that of your Daughter's Fiance, after all, so you may rest assured I have no reason to cross you, and every reason to reassure you that I wish you and your family no harm. I only ask you allow me to work with him properly in order to correct this current series of poor decisions before more are made."

[myrfing]

i guess it’s unfair to say irene didnt change at all, she…acknowledges some things to be true and leaves the inquisition. but she essentially still operates under the same exact everything she did before in the same uniform and by the same blessing and interests. even your talk texts with her have her going like “why do some aegir here fear me Is It Because They’re Guilty Of Something I Will Punish Them If I Need To” like…no I didn’t expect someone as zealous as her to do a 360 after a week in a town and a day on a ship but you’d think she’d at least…I dunno, not say that rounding up nearly all the aegir in town and torturing/executing every single one was the necessary choice. she didn’t even need to say it was wrong, just to think on it, or think higher as the story seemed to be urging her to doing the whole time, in questioning what truly matters to her beyond an empty statement like “the glory of iberia”. or even less than that learn even slightly not to project that law and order punishment all members of a race are suspicious shit on people on some random landship.

anyway maybe im just too le moralistic but it doesn’t ring for me like in DE where I mean some people are straight up fascists who never really change and die as the way they are but the game typically wants you to acknowledge their humanity from the pov of the protag who is a cop and who is a part of the rot. and understanding each character makes the world make more sense and how…important? everyone is to this shithole dying town. i think arkn just gives is characters too much power and too much fantasy weirdness where everyone magic chainsaw killing god robots in the basement (while in DE the one time you actually fire on anyone is an extremely weighty moment in the game) and then tacks on a but they were noble because of their national ideals and because they were trying to strike a law and order balance against the terrible hellish chaos of the world and it makes characters feel very distant when they say things like The slaughter of entire groups of people is neccessary and Then I will proceed to tell you what makes a person great is dying in sacrifice for their country and each noble loss sanctifies the great mission even more I dunno dude. i dont blame anyone for not liking characters like her and I get ak generally REAAALLLLYYYY never wants to give an opinion on anything and mostly just wants to say people are trying in a lot of different ways in a very harsh world. but in trying to highlight the virtue and vice of each instances of Nations Trying the virtues it choses to extoll are insanely dissonant for me personally and then its vices are almost always acknowledged but deemed necessary in some way by all those who get to move forward or just completely unmentioned ever again in the story

[withinthegrid]

SHADES OF COOL/PART 1

My life is not very dull. I don’t often spend weekends at home or wander about the city by myself. It’s almost comical how I’ve stayed so social, yet so single this past year. This is one area that I place right above average in my life. I can nightlife with the best of them. I’ve gotten so good at it now that I’ve even perfected the act of “disco napping”.

I was once told on a night out that I was probably the “DUFF” of my friend group. The only hurtful part of this interaction besides not knowing what the fuck a duff was, was that the guy who said it to me looked like a 40 year old virgin. His jeans were two sizes smaller than his frame could allow so his belly kinda spilled over his belt line cutting off his blood flow I’m sure. I could have ignored this detail but unfortunately he was wearing a checkered shirt that was tucked in. His combover was half assed and he had the gaul to place his hand on my ass as he said this.

how dare he behave like a 10 with the face of a 2? The term “DUFF” stands for “Designated Ugly Fat Friend”, at least that what Google said when I asked. Except I’m not fat, not close, an if I were… what’s wrong with that? I’m also not ugly! Just slightly below average, but not as low as that guy.

It’s hard not to internalize comments about your external appearance when we live in a world where reinvention is a commonality and content is never ending. You become social decay if you don’t stay hip to the moment. Your best bet is to opt out if you can’t keep up and I can’t really do that. I’m too extroverted to be a hermit and too introverted to be a scene queen. It’s a limbo effect. The experience is not quite hellish but not really heaven either. Maybe this is how people get stuck in gay purgatory. Fagatory if you will.

I always thought I’d find the love of my life in one of the bars. He’d pop up out of the crowd like in a JLO video through a cloud of machine pumped fog and popper vapors and whisk me off into our forever life of hot sweaty passion, but that never happened. What a bummer right?! But something kinda like that did sorta happen. It was far less music video than I hopped but a little more surreal than expected.

I’m having lunch outside one day at work and the biggest heart stopper sits right next to me. Normally a younger guy wouldn’t light up my radar but goddamn! He’s a quiet kid, I’m guessing no older than twenty which makes the ten year gap between us feel more like a hundred years. I catch a glimpse of his eyes while he digging through his lunch bag he sat on the table we were at. The sunlight is positioned on his face perfectly allowing me to see the most brilliant colored blue eyes, not too dark, not too light. His hair accents them perfectly. It’s kind of messy but mostly well kept. Brown hair and blue eyes is a nice touch to his already sharp jaw line. He’s skinny, a stick in fact… a muscle stick… A HOT MUSCLE STICK! Its the kind of body twinks commit murders for. I found it interesting, peeking over the phone in my hand, how he wore his cowboy boots on the outside of his jeans.

By now I’m sure he’s probably caught me looking at him. If not then maybe I’m not as obvious as I thought. I means seriously! How much extra material did god have sitting around to just make someone so damn attractive? He’s just staring ahead, off into space maybe. There’s nothing really there to look at but he only breaks his gaze to look down at his lunch for a fraction of a second and then he’s right back staring off again. His nose is immaculate, his whole face is so well structured.

I can’t look at him and not speak anymore so I cave. Hi! My name is…

[yanderemommabean]

more facts about death angels. They’re only known weaknesses are high frequency audio feedback, and their inability to swim, they don’t eat humans (they only kill them, I have no idea what they actually eat), they’re biosonar (they can use echolocation). These next few parts are copied and pasted from some wiki The creatures are slightly taller than a human, with overall proportions that are lithe and lean. Their body posture vaguely resembles a cross between a gorilla and a flightless bat: all four of their limbs are digitigrade, walking on their knuckles, with arms drastically larger than their legs — resulting in them usually running on all four limbs but capable of rearing up to attack or jump large distances. Due to their claws and great strength, they are very adept at climbing on walls. Their head features a large jaw filled with sharp teeth and no eyes. With no apparent nose, it is unclear if they possess a sense of smell, or if this is perhaps achieved through sense organs in the mouth. The entire head is actually composed of multiple sections of armor plates that can be held open if they want to listen more closely for prey — unfolding like a hellish cabbage. The delicate ears underneath the armor are vulnerable to conventional weapons, explaining why they only briefly lift their plates if they feel they are safe and tracking an enemy or prey. As confirmed by Krasinski, the aliens are not sapient, but vicious animals. Just how intelligent they are is unclear, as they mostly seem driven by pure instinct, though the Abbotts' whiteboard speculates that they are capable of hunting in packs. Besides, invariably when one was killed, another came running to the location of its death.

Imagine being cornered by three of these things, your eyes slamming shut as you pray for a quick death, waiting for the void to wrap you in its embrace. 

They press closer, their plates opening slightly as they seem to investigate you, shrieking and growling at one another as they circle you, investigating you more as you swallow down your horrified cries. You didn’t want to attract anymore of these monsters. 

A disgusting beast walks right to you, teeth nipping at you in  what you could only describe as “testing” you and how they could get ahold of you. You aren’t sure what to do, the others come beside you to nudge you up and shriek again when you fumble and try to scramble back. 

Their teeth pick you up by the fabric of your tattered clothes, like a mother lioness and her cub, just less wholesome and more gut wrenching. 

You shudder as their drool dribbles down your skin, their large teeth waiting to pierce into your flesh and make you another corpse they devour and toy with. But that stinging, unbearable pain never comes. The creatures simply march on, carrying you as you whimper behind your hand to protect anyone else who could be in the area, as even in death you want to save anyone you can. 

You think back to the headlines, remembering that they don’t seem to even eat the humans they kill. They kill for fun, seemingly, or are just that hostile towards any entity they don’t recognize. You aren’t sure, no one is, you just know these things kill for one reason or another, and your fate is still hanging by a tooth filled maw carrying you god knows where. 

Minutes feel like hours as the three trot to an abandoned area, rubble and shattered glass lay on the street as they growl and grunt to each other, careful to adjust you so that you wouldn’t be stabbed by the jagged wood sticking out of what seems to be a collapsed shop. Their echolocation must be more complex and intense than you thought, as you’re lifted away and carried a bit farther. 

The toothy maw drops you gently, onto the ground that reeks of blood and decomposing bodies of those who were unfortunate enough to meet these things head on. You begin to accept that they’re about to finally kill you, but they circle you yet again, chuffing and snarling as you stay still, breathing still erratic and unsure. 

One of the monsters crawls forward, it’s plates open and seeming to sense you either by scent or noise, you aren’t sure, and it…gently licks you. 

What? 

It does the action again, it’s large tongue nearly knocking you over as it licks you again, as if trying to console you (or drink your tears, these things are so vile you wouldn’t put it past them). The other two abruptly lurch at the one currently bathing you, hissing and wailing in protest and causing it to run back to the edge of the rubble where you had been dropped. 

They chirp and trill to one another before one runs off, leaving two to patrol you and observe you more. As if to keep you…Safe? No, no probably just to keep you in line, these things don’t protect, they destroy. Whatever the intention is, it’s working, as you just stare wide eyed and panicked. Every move makes you jump, and the two remaining beasts click and chuff as they patrol. 

You have no perception of time as the things huddle around you and roughly shove you back when you so much as move an inch. By the third time you’re shoved back by an  armored head, the pounding of feet is heard trampling through the rubble, and the third member comes back with a mouth full of something resembling meat and possibly fur. 

A deer? It’s something, thankfully not human, but mangled nonetheless. 

And the animal is dropped right by your feet, with a disgusting, wet noise. You couldn’t help the startled gasp, causing all of the death angels to perk up in interest and stalk close to you, one nudging the “food” closer to you expectantly. 

It’s slowly coming to light that these nightmarish beings aren’t going to kill you. With a new twisted feeling in your gut, you realize that they’re not about to end you. 

They’re going to keep you. 

(lol I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry if I got anything too wrong -Mommabean)

[pocarinapyon]

[Chilis] Prince’s Princess (Fragile Fantasy) - Part I

No copycat can trick you into believing they are Albedo. No. Not ever. You know your Teacher Albedo too well to be fooled easily. But should you really confront them head-on when you aren’t even a good fighter? What will happen to the poor you?

Starring : Fellflower Albedo, Primordial Albedo

Warning : 🌶🌶 [Chilis] Non-consensual (ish), (Phallic) tendrils, BDSM-theme, Pistil and stamen talks, Whopperflower, Drugging, Fingering (clothed and unclothed), Pet names (if it bothers you), Cunnilingus, Dom Albedo (?), etc.

Links : Masterlist | Part II

Target audience is female reader.

To whoever is reading, please enjoy.

----------------------------------------------------------------

To be Teacher Albedo’s – no – Albedo’s mentee was one of your luckiest achievements as it gave you opportunities to actively seek help from the best practitioner of alchemy. This meant that you had someone truly wise and knowledgeable in the field to guide you. Also, you had valid reasons to talk to your crush. No, you definitely did not study alchemy just because of Albedo!

Whenever you would visit Albedo in Favonius Headquarters or Dragonspine, you would always prepare sweets as gifts. The Kreideprinz loved your snacks. He appreciated your goodies and happily accepted them every time, thanking you with a sweet smile that makes you swoon internally. Soon enough, you found yourself liking the same treats as he did. But instead of munching on the finished product, you suckled on raw ingredients while making the gifts for the great alchemist.

One afternoon, you decided to visit the dashing gentleman in Dragonspine, hoping for a consultation about academics. As per usual, you made delicious treats for the Chief Alchemist to enjoy. With a bag on your back, you headed to the harsh mountain blanketed in white. In the middle of your journey, the unpredictable weather of Dragonspine suddenly turned for worse. The area visibility became poor; the howling wind became louder; the cold became even more unbearable. Everything was white and you were lost in the freezing mountain. Albedo’s camp was still far. You panicked and wished the prince would come to save you.

But of course Albedo wouldn't. How could he when he was not expecting your arrival? You squinted your eyes and tried your best at surviving, hoping to find some kind of refuge amidst the snowstorm. Suddenly, you felt the weight of a hand on your shoulder. It startled you as it might be a Fatui, a treasure hoarder, or even a hillichurl. You doubted the last option but still – what if?

"[Your name], I’m glad I found you. Are you alright?" the mystery creature behind you asked.

That soothing voice. You turned around to see your mentor casting you a concerned look; unbothered of the whirling hellish snowstorm. You beamed at Albedo's improbable appearance.

"T – Teacher...! I mean – Albedo! Hello! I came to visit you!" you exclaimed, covering your face as twigs and leaves came flying around.

"It is quite an inconvenient weather. Come with me. I do not wish for you to be afflicted with some kind of disease," Albedo said as he beckoned you. He wrapped a cold arm around your shoulder and led you to safety. Feeling a bit brave yourself, you gingerly snuggled closer to Albedo as his unusual bold gesture made you slightly warm despite the low temperature.

The two of you went inside a cave to let the storm rage on. It was less frosty compared outside and there were no flying rubbish so you could clearly observe the surroundings.

The area was new to you. Many books, alchemical solution, and apparatuses were messily scattered in a corner. Judging by the looks of it, it seems Albedo recently concocted something. Your eyes narrowed as you did not know Albedo had another domain where he stayed.

Inspecting the place further, you found no sketchpad nor drawing canvas anywhere. It was something Albedo would usually bring with him. For such items to be absent, you assumed Albedo only had to stay here temporarily. But even so…

"I hope the weather dies down soon," you huffed, putting down your bag.

Albedo only hummed in response, busying himself in tidying the disheveled area of his temporary camp.

Eyeing the books carefully, you noticed they were the ones Albedo mentioned to have been missing from his bookcase. The latest book to have disappeared – one that vanished four days ago – was now in Albedo's hands, being decluttered. Your mind raced with various thoughts, formulating an explanation as to why the hardbacks were here.

"Oh, Albedo. I brought you some snacks," you perked.

"I know,” Albedo replied with a smile so gentle that had you melting. “I could smell your delicious sweet scent from miles. Hence the reason why I was able to track you down.”

That was an unexpected statement. Yes, you did like Albedo but this was…creepy.

It was the final piece for you to conclude this was not your Prince Albedo. There were many clues not only in the surrounding but also on himself. The cold arm around your shoulders. The messily scattered apparatus. The sketchpad. The missing books. The lacking star on his neck. The disturbing statement. If this person or creature were to mimic Albedo, they should have at least put in more effort.

What was their reason for copying Albedo? Why did they steal from your mentor? Why would they lead you here? When were you going to confront them? A lot of questions popped in your head and your sugar-rushed brain told you now was the best time to know these answers.

“You. You’re not Albedo, aren’t you?” you braved, secretly gripping the dagger hidden in your pocket.

“Hmn? What an odd thing to say. What made you speculate such a thing?” Albedo asked, curiously looking at you.

“There are a lot to mention,” you narrowed your eyes, alerting yourself for any suspicious movements.

“How silly of you, [your name],” Albedo snickered at your response. “I shall inquire again: what made you speculate such a thing? Perhaps I can explain the logic behind such and such.”

“Pfft! Why should I give the tells? So you could correct them? You’re completely mistaken if that’s what you were hoping,” you hissed, still cautious of the stranger.

“Ah. You truly are smart, aren’t you?” he let out another low chuckle. “I like you.”

Albedo just said he likes you. You would’ve thrown yourself at the man while squealing in ecstasy if it weren’t for the fact that he was a fake. He even confirmed it himself.

“Who are you and why are you copying Teacher Albedo?” you interrogated the criminal. Any time – he would probably do something any time now.

“Me? I am Albedo,” he declared with a sexy smirk. If only the real Albedo would give you a look the way this copycat was doing.

“No, you aren’t.“

Albedo fell silent, keeping on his seductive grin. He seemed to be contemplating as he hid his beautiful teal orbs behind its lids. After a moment of silence, he lazily opened his eyes to meet yours.

“A shame. And I thought this disguise was perfect.”

“Do better. Who are y – ”

Your words were replaced by a squeak when multiple purplish tendrils suddenly emerging from the ground. Even before you could react, you found yourself hoisted in the air; unable to move as your arms and legs were bound by the tendrils. Your dagger met the ground with a soft clink.

“I am Albedo,” the creature repeated.

“What is this?! Put me down right now!” you demanded with gritted teeth, struggling to free yourself.

Albedo's limbs had transformed into some kind of plantae and more of its vines buried themselves on the ground. Shortly, another set of tendrils sprang up, lively fluttering and waving in the air. One particular thick phallic vine presented itself to you. Its tip leaked an intoxicating sweet-smelling liquid that made you feel light-headed. Instinct told you to keep your mouth shut in fear of being forced to swallow the unknown matter. The wet tendril poked your cheeks, spreading a generous amount of the weird substance on your flesh until it drips down your clothing. The stimulating scent effortlessly invaded your nostrils and had your body feeling hot.

This kind of plantae – you now realized what it resembled: a whopperflower. However, it was a rare to find one capable of learning to replicate humans or growing into such size. What a dangerously peculiar specie… Surely the real Albedo would be interested in it…if you could report it to him.

“My sweet little pistil. You’re really pretty. I can’t wait to make my stamen pump you full of my pollen,” the unwonted whopperflower chimed with lust-filled eyes, hungrily watching your splayed form in the air. “You love it when your teacher praises you, don’t you? Then be a good girl and make Albedo feel good.”

Oh, Archons, it wanted to mate with you!

“N – no!! Let me go! Stop!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, horrified of the predicament you were in. “Someone! Anyone! Help!” you pleaded, desperately praying to the Archons that they send someone to rescue you.

“HahAHaHahA! No one will come to save you, dear [your name]!” the whopperflower mocked, aligning the tip of his leaking phallic tendril in front of your face just to tease you.

You frantically thrashed around in hopes of freeing yourself from the tendrils’ grasps. Try as you might you could not loosen the bindings. Deep in your mind, you know the whopperflower was right: no one will come to save you.

You were bothered of your body’s response. It was wrong to have your pussy so wet at the thought of being violated by the deliciously long and thick stamen; wrong to imagine it rampaging inside and stretching your tight little cunt; wrong to imagine if this phallic tendril can reach deep enough to kiss your cervix; wrong to imagine being stuffed full of its pollen; wrong to imagine cumming from being defiled like a toy; wrong to imagine being pollinated by the plantae; wrong to imagine carrying its plant babies – if it was even possible; wrong to imagine the real Albedo as the one fucking and breeding you. The lewd thoughts had your panties soaked as your womanhood ached at the need to be penetrated.

“Fellflower, what are you doing?” another voice spoke. It was your favourite soothing sound – but you weren’t sure if it was produced by the real person or just your imagination.

Still hoisting you in the air, the whopperflower ceased its antics as sounds of footsteps became louder. Soon it revealed Albedo, calmly looking at you and the unusual whopperflower. Your face lit up upon seeing your dear prince.

“Teacher…!” you cried out to your mentor but your words fell on deaf ears.

“Fellflower, what are you doing?” Albedo repeated as he crossed his arms, his tone now demanding. “I believe I instructed you to simply fetch [your name]. What kind of a sore sight is this?”

“I want her for myself! I want her for myself!” the whopperflower chanted while throwing a hissy fit which Albedo ignored.

It looked like a spoiled bratty child grouching at his stoic father. It kept screaming, demanding a toy – you – from Albedo. But Albedo had no reaction whatsoever. A catatonic stare was all it took for the whopperflower to shush its yapping and cower its head. It gave up and simply lowered you enough for Albedo to be able to reach. Albedo hummed in approval and made his way in front of you.

“I apologize for the graceless treatment, [your name],” Albedo said softly, touching your face gingerly.

“Teacher Albedo, I – ”

Slap!

“Tsk. Don’t call me that,” Albedo hissed.

You were rendered speechless as your mind barely registered why your cheeks stung. You looked at Albedo to find his brows uncharacteristically knitted tightly. His glare was intense and you shivered at his angered expression. You shouldn’t be turned on by this yet there you were, getting aroused by his harsh treatment –

– which Albedo had never ever done to anyone or anything. Hopefully. Albedo was a gentle person. Surely he would never hit someone out of anger? But why was he so enraged? Oh, right. He did not want to be called “Teacher Albedo”. Instead, he wanted to be simply called “Albedo”. Perhaps you called him “Teacher Albedo” too much that he was getting tired of it.

“Ah – I’m sorry, Albe – ”

Slap!

“Did I not tell you to refrain from calling me that?” Albedo spat with another slap on your cheek. “It was a simple instruction, [your name].” Slap! “One simple instruction and you couldn’t follow.”

“B – But you said – !”

Slap!

“Oh my. Are you really talking back to me, [your name]?” Albedo revolted. Slap! “I wonder how should I discipline someone as incompliant as you.”

Slap! Slap!

“Teacher, I’m sorry!” you cried, cheeks all puffy – clearly suffering from the pricking pain.

Your eyes were glossy as tears started to form, You couldn’t do anything to relieve your hurting as you were still immobilized by Fellflower Albedo. The more Albedo hit his hand on your flesh, the more your face continued to ache and your pussy continued to burn.

“I want to fill her up! I want her! I want her!” Fellflower Albedo begged once again as he felt crazy from smelling your sweet honeypot.

“Silence!” Albedo roared at the poor plant who immediately cowered in fear. The prince scoffed at it, turned back to you, and gave you a smirk. “You’re sorry?” he let out a sarcastic tone followed by another slap. “Then show me how sorry you are.”

Slap! Slap! Slap!

The ruthless Albedo finally stopped. He removed his gloves before cupping your cheeks in both his hands. Softly he circled his glove-less thumbs on your skin while admiring your features. You leaned at your prince’s calm touch – feeling Albedo's skin on yours for the first time. He hummed in approval and rewarded your docile response with a gentle smile. As if to tease you, he lightly grazed the tip of his fingers on your lips and you helplessly shuddered at the feathery touch. His index and middle fingers then rested on your lips and you were clueless of his next action.

“Well?” Albedo coaxed.

Further mesmerized by your lewd thoughts, you opened your mouth and allowed Albedo's fingers inside you. Soon as he entered, you accommodated him by suckling on his digits, coating them as you swirled your wet tongue around. Albedo only pushed his fingers deeper until he was knuckles deep; poking the insides of your throat. Being the good girl you were, you tried your best not to gag and focused solely on using your tongue. He snickered at your diligence. As you worked on his delicious fingers, your clouded mind began to think about Albedo's hard cock inside your small mouth.

“That’s it, princess. Good girl,” Albedo mused in satisfaction. “Make your prince feel good.”

Without warning, Albedo slid his free hand under your skirt to cup your clothed warmth. Panic was written all over your face as he could clearly feel how soaked your panties were.

“Oh? This bothers you?” Albedo asked innocently as if he wasn’t doing anything inappropriate. He rubbed his palm on your covered womanhood.

“Mmcher – ”

“Prince,” Albedo was quick to correct you while pressing your sensitive little nub.

“Mm – ! Mrnce…!” was what your plugged lips could only utter as you came.

Albedo retracted both hands and observed your quaking figure. You heaved heavily, panting like a dog as you come down from your high. That was – by far – the hardest orgasm you had. You thought it was over however Albedo was not satisfied. He thirsted for more.

You all thirsted for more.

But you needed to keep your head leveled. Just because you were feeling good does not mean you didn’t notice. The uncharacteristic reactions. The uncouth gestures. And again, the missing star on his neck. They all pointed that the Albedo in front of you was not Albedo.

“Prince…,” you sighed. Albedo simply smiled at you in response. “You…aren’t Albedo too, are you?”

“HahAhAHaHahA! [Your name] caught you too! Stupid! Stupid!” Fellflower Albedo insulted the other man.

“I see. So she was able to identify you as a fake thus resulting in your abrupt revelation. Interesting…,” Albedo deducted in an unbothered tone. “You are correct, [your name]. I am not Albedo,” he replied. “On another note. Fellflower, it seems she is not mesmerized enough. If you would please.”

“N – not mesmerized enough…?” you stuttered. “Why are you copying Albedo? At least tell me why you’re doing this!” you cried, wanting to learn the reason behind their stolen identities just in case you could escape.

“This piece of information is irrelevant to you, [your name]. All you need to care about is your fragile fantasy.”

“My fragile – ”

Without letting you finish your words, Fellflower Albedo used his sharpened tendrils to shred through your clothing, leaving your body exposed with only undergarments as cover. The two males delighted at your quivering body – predators hungrily eyeing their hopeless prey. The cold breeze entering the cave only let you shudder even more. Recovering from his own daze, Fellflower Albedo squirted his intoxicating liquid on your face and all over your flesh. Soon enough, your body started to feel hot…and needy: the toxins finally invaded your brain. Acting like the real Chief Alchemist, Albedo began to experiment on your reactions. He commenced by tracing warm fingers on your waist. You immediately felt your orgasm building in your core.

“Albe – ”

“Prince.” Slap! “[Your name], must we go through this all over again?” Albedo clicked his tongue.

Slap! Slap! Instead of pain, you felt pleasure from every clap of his hand on your cheeks. Squinting your eyes hard, you bit your lip and focused solely on not releasing your juices. Your silence only made Albedo impatient, thus giving you a harder strike.

“Respond when I talk to you, [your name]!”

“I’m sorry!” you screamed, unable to contain yourself and drenching your already soaked panties with cum. Fat tears rolled down your face as this orgasm was even more intense than the previous. The two Albedos laughed in amusement.

“Cumming from just a slap? Heh! How perverted,” Albedo derided while musing at the cum seeping through your underwear and dripping on the ground. “Fine. I shall forgive your insolence.”

“P – Please stop… I – I can’t…,” you whimpered. You know your poor body won’t be able to handle being manhandled like this.

“I agree. You can’t,” Albedo concurred as if sharing your sentiments. “This shall help you forget your pain. Welcome to your fragile fantasy.”

He took out a vial from his coat that contained a pinkish mixture. He smirked at you before popping the cork and placing the liquid in his mouth. Harshly, he pulled your hair to pry your mouth open and crashed his lips on yours. With no choice, you complied in letting him feed you the liquid. You swallowed the drink and let Albedo's tongue played with yours. His kiss was rather gentle for someone who slapped you senseless earlier. Warm tongue wrestled with yours and you swear your orgasm was quickly building again. He slightly pulled back to watch your features.

“Good girl,” with a breathy sigh he said. He released his grasp on your hair. Smiling, he patted your head and caressed your hair while leaving pecks on your lips. “Look at me, princess. I am your prince. And your job is to make your prince feel good.”

“Make my prince feel good,” you repeated, dazed from the kiss which you miss.

“Yes,” Albedo smiled as he cupped your clothed womanhood.

“Prince…feel good…,” you repeated again.

“I want to make her cum! I want to make her cum!” Fellflower Albedo chanted, feeling jealous of the attention Albedo was receiving.

“Help yourself,” Albedo said as he began to fuck his two fingers inside your hole while circling your clit with his thumb. You wished his raw fingers would fuck you instead but you couldn’t complain. This was what your prince wanted.

Fellflower Albedo happily wiggled his tendrils and began to strike your flesh with his vines, leaving red marks in its wake. You cried and screamed at the stimulation but Albedo crashed his lips on yours to eat away your erotic sounds.

Once. Twice. Thrice. You lost count of how many orgasms you had. All you know: your lips and pussy were seized by Albedo while Fellflower Albedo used your body as his canvas. And they all felt so good.

But then everything stopped and you were left dazed and longing. Your absent-minded eyes begged for your prince to continue manhandling you. Albedo only grinned at your pathetic expression. With a snap of fingers from the prince, Fellflower Albedo changed your position and hoisted you horizontally. It looked as if you were lying on your back – albeit you were midair. The whopperflower spread your legs to let Albedo muse at your core. Without warning, Albedo hooked your thighs on his shoulders and began to eat you, tasting your cum through your drenched clothing. You jerked your head back and moaned for your prince. Meanwhile, the phallic tendril once again presented itself in hopes of snugging itself in your mouth. You hinged your mouth a little wider and the happy tendril plunged itself inside your small cavern.

Your muffled moans challenged Albedo to do more. He pushed your panties aside and nibbled on your erected clitoris while fingering your hole – this time using three digits. His raw fingers felt so divine as it stretched you wider than before. He just dipped in the digits halfway when you came once again, coating his fingers with your slick. Albedo let out a low chuckle before biting on your clit a little harder and forcing his fingers knuckles deep. You groaned at the sudden stretch and came again. But Albedo did not stop. He kept abusing your puffy clit and loosening your tight little hole: spreading his fingers apart, hooking his fingers upwards, and basically rampaging in and out of you. Your corrupted womanhood oozed out endless supply of sweet honey as Albedo finger-fucked your brains out. Fellflower Albedo wasn’t the one to complain as the vibrations from your growing screams of pleasure equally pleasured him. It felt so good for him that he spilled his liquid pollen inside your throat which made you complete nymphomaniac.

Albedo could not take it anymore. He groaned at his own growing desire to fuck you with his cock. Your intoxicating woman scent drove him crazy. He withdrew himself from you and once again snapped his fingers to signal Fellflower Albedo of the next phase. The whopperflower removed himself inside of you as well. It built some kind of a nest before dropping you on it with a soft thud.

Finally, your limbs were free and you could run away. But you were never free and did not want to flee. Your body was still captive by the burning passion to mate. Would you really run away when Albedo had this massive tent in his pants? Would you really run away when you felt so little as Albedo looked down on you with a stoic stare yet demanded with his eyes that you should take care his hard situation? Of course you wouldn’t. You wanted to please your prince. You wanted to be his good girl. You wanted him.

You lifted yourself on your knees and crawled towards the unmoving Albedo. Soon as you reached your prince, you leaned both palms on his thighs, nuzzled your head on his erection, and begged for permission to touch his cock.

“My prince…,” you pleaded while casting a lust-filled gaze. “I want you in my mouth right now. Please dump all your cum inside me. May I?”

“Princess, you don’t have to beg,” Albedo cooed. He ran his fingers through your hair, caressing you sweetly. “Take it like my cock-whore you were meant to be.”

Albedo's personal cock-whore.

“Thank you, my prince,” you beamed, excitedly unbuttoning and unzipping his shorts. “I will be a good cock-whore, I promise.”

You pulled the lower garments enough to free Albedo’s delicious cock from its confinement. Your eyes gleamed in delight as you marveled your prince’s lovely protruding genital. You started giving kitten licks to his pinkish tips while swiftly pumping his shaft, earning you an erotic grunt from the man. With half-lidded eyes, Albedo watched how his personal slut tried to take his cock. As you bobbed your head, inch by inch you sheathed him; not caring if he hits the back of your throat.

You could only take him half-way in your mouth. So to compensate, your hands worked on the exposed flesh of Albedo’s cock. You squeezed tighter; slurped louder; everything you could just to make Albedo cum.

“A – Am I making you feel good, my prince?” you muttered in between your service, eyes glossy and yearning.

“Not yet, [your name],” was Albedo‘s breathy reply. “We’re just getting started.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry for the lack of edit. Please forgive the potato brain.

To whoever read this, thank you for your time. Here, have some eggplant. 🍆

Stay hydrated. 😉

Masterlist : link

Part I | Part II

[forgwater]

The Binds

(general) Lilia Vanrouge x Reader

part 5 part 4 part-3 part-2 part-1

gender neutral reader

taglist: @kimura-uzuri  @desertlilie  @strawberry-cheezcake @anonima-2 @oreochococheesecake @justeclem44 @hat3yo0

(if you want to be tagged, you need only ask, also please specify what characters you are interested in reading about or if you want to be tagged in all works)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

......

....

Your legs ache as you continue running. Breath ragged and heartbeat loud. It's suffocating. There is no mercy in your march. Not for your tired legs or his. Only stubbornness is keeping you from stopping, but sooner or later you'll have to give in; so you look for a place to hide in temporarily, to catch your breath and maybe free your new companion from his binds. Let's just hope he doesn't abandon you after that. Your thoughts however, are quickly interrupted by the general:

"There!" he points to a burrow. It's big enough to fit you both and covered in enough foliage to be easily missed. "This should work well to hide us." you can only hope he's right.

Lilia ushers you in first. The dirt is a bit loose and you almost fall, but you catch yourself before that happens. As you get deeper into the burrow you extend a hand towards the fae, who after one last look at your surroundings, gladly accepts it as he joins you into the dark.

.....

Cold and damp.

That's how the ground felt. You shiver slightly, instinctively closing the distance between the two of you, that is, if there was any distance to begin with. And he leans into you too, letting out a small chuckle before speaking:

"Dear me, I'm quite glad I'm a better option than trembling like a leaf on your own because of the cold." it seems he really likes making light of less than ideal situations; but that doesn't make you any less embarrassed for basically snuggling into this man.

He's gonna be the death of you, you swear... well... he already was.

Your attention is quickly grabbed by the sound of rushing footsteps, heavy on the earth, you also hear hurried whispers in a language you don't understand. You glance towards Lilia, silently questioning him with your gaze; but he doesn't respond. With an arm placed in front of you in a protective manner, he listens attentively to the creatures outside your hiding spot.

step... step... crunch.

The swishing of wind.

Are they still there? Are they waiting for you to get out? All you can do is hold your breath as you grip a dagger. Let's hope you won't have to use it.

More steps.

It would seem your pursuers are looking for you. Your heartbeat rings in your ears as you try your best to still your trembling hands. Lilia shoots you a glance, his eyes are serious, silently urging you to be as quiet as humanly possible as he listens for any signs of danger. You might need to place your trust fully with him this time... not like you haven't already...

It's quiet.

Very quiet.

The fae brings his index finger to his lips in a shushing gesture and then motions for you to stay put as he begins to rise. Crouching slowly he tries to peak outside the burrow for a whole minute.

Once satisfied he looks back at you and with a motion of his head you're exiting the safety of your hiding place.

Once the both of you are out you ask: "Where to now?"

"I'm happy to see you value my opinion, but as of now, I'd say wherever." the general speaks, then he continues: "The creatures we just managed to evade are not easy foes to deal with, so I suggest we high-tail it out of here." he then proceeds to extend a shackled hand towards you.

"Shall we?"

You debate for a moment before deciding that you might as well follow the fae.

"Let's go then." you shoot Lilia a small, yet determined smile as you take his hand; he happily returns it with his one of his own, albeit more toothy.

.....

The terrain is hellish to cross. It's as if a whole cavalry has passed through it. Disparaged and full of holes. This isn't its natural state. Something happened here.

You look at Lilia, slightly uneasy and he tries to reassure you, it'll be fine, everything's fine... at least for now.

The more you walk the faster the time seems to pass and before you know it, night has fallen again.

You go collect some berries while the fae collects wood for a fire. He's offered to go find food himself, saying he's quite knowledgeable about plants, but your intuition told you to do it yourself... lest you risk death by poison. Luckily he took your offer and went looking for the wood after giving you a slight shrug followed by a 'Suit yourself.'

.......

....

As you sit around the fire, you can't help but think about how horrible those binds must feel against his skin. You don't have the keys for them, but should you find a different way to remove them?

Should you trust him that much?

Would he abandon you?

Would he... kill you... again?

You are snapped out of your thoughts by the fae in question.

"Y/N?" he asks. "You seemed deep in thought." Lilia remarks as he moves closer to you and extends some of his berries towards you, but you decline. "Is something bothering you?" his eyes convey some slight concern.

"Your binds." you answer before you can think better of it.

A shocked expression settles itself on the mans face, but he regains his composure quickly.

"...What exactly, about them, bothers you?" he asks, suspicion laced in his voice.

"...Well..." you trail off, not truly wanting to continue your sentence, but the faes insisting eyes convince you otherwise. "...Well, we could try to get them off..." you are met with a surprised face again.

After a brief pause, he begins again:

"Aren't you afraid I'll attack you?" he questions.

"You would be able to do that while I sleep too." you answer and the fae thinks for a bit.

"True." he nods "But what if I'm waiting for the moment I'm free to do that?" you ignore his question.

"You know I don't have the key to your chains." you look at him. "So, what I've thought about, is to use the campfire to melt them."

Shock and surprise again.

Lilia backs away slightly. It would seem he isn't too keen on the idea.

"...Non-magical fire and iron don't mix well with my kind." he says "But you already knew that."

You give a small smile and he scoffs lightly, a pout forming on his face.

"Trust, Lilia." you tell him. "You'll have to trust me on this one."

A sigh escapes the fae before he nods.

"FINE!" he gives. "But if you scorch my skin, I'm stealing your first-born child!" he warns and you can't tell if he's joking or not.

"Uh... alright then." you say "But first, we need to separate the chains, So let's try to keep them over the fire until we can try to cut them... or we can try to melt them."

"Easier said than done." Lilia mutters under his breath, but he obliges nonetheless.

As he places his arms on either side of the fire, with the chain connecting them right above the crackling flames, he waits for your signal.

You prepare the water pouch in case the plan goes wrong and then you nod at him.

WHOSH

The flames dance wildly as the iron starts to warm. More and more until it burns. Lilia grits his teeth as the fire continues to taunt him. At least he would have more mobility with the chain severed.

The fae yells profanities as he quickly removes himself from the flames. He lays the now red chain on the ground and you swoop in to try to cut the melting part in two. You also pour some water over the his hands which he appreciates.

It wasn't easy, but with two daggers you've managed. You let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding and Lilia collapses onto his back on the ground laughing.

"IT WORKED!" he screams in disbelief.

It would seem that your little idea was a success!

"I suppose I don't owe my first-born?" you quirk an eyebrow as you smile down at him.

He look up at you, propping himself up with his elbows, his eyes are full of mischief once more as he says:

"No... but you still owe me a date." and he smirks at your bewildered face.

The NERVE!

He could've gotten severely injured and all he can think about is teasing you?!

The Seven are testing you again.

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an: part 4 is finally here!

Y/N: "Trust me bro."

Masterlist

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: as someone who’s been tormented for being a nerd, you’ve never viewed your friendly teasing towards your best friend seonghwa as bullying. but that is until he completely changes his style and image in school, confronting you about your past behaviour, so you have no choice but to admit the real reason why you’ve been making fun of him...

pairing: popular boy!seonghwa x nerd!reader

genre: high school!AU (the characters are 18 for the spicy parts huehehe), best friends to fake dating to lovers, angst, romance, smut, fluff

warnings: friendly teasing, clichéd/unrealistic portrayal of high school dynamics, hwa does kabedon on yn like once, seonghwa’s a bit of a tsundere, fake dating, hints of possessiveness, slightly problematic remarks, yn is briefly hwa’s slave?! (no, i will not elaborate), bullying, mean girls, insults, hair-pulling, kicking, death threats, some swearing, self-blame, power play, overuse of pet names (princess, baby, little girl, etc.), sir kink (i won’t apologize lol), begging, yunho being nosy (yes, that’s a warning), mention of hypothetical collars, insecurities, making out, loss of virginities, lots of kissing, soft dom!hwa, eating out, fingering, blowjob, consensual protected sex, dirty talk, praising, aftercare, crying, hurt&comfort, a lot of dorky references (cuz that’s me, after all), jumping off a balcony (don’t try this at home!), happy ending

author’s note: will i ever stop bullying poor hwa’s kermit hoodie? no. jk, i lov him so much, he’s so talented & gorgeous no matter what he wears ;-;

disclaimer: all jokes aside, i do not in any way condone bullying and this work is entirely fictional for entertainment purposes! i’ve been physically and emotionally tormented in school and though i have not talked much about it, i do not wish such an experience to anyone! treating people with kindness is cool and i hope everyone spreads more love! ❤️

word count: 9.4k

Having been best friends with Seonghwa for four years now (ever since your first year in high school), you couldn’t help but making fun of every little adorable thing he did. And honestly, you admired his patience when it came to putting up with your incessant teasing. Diligently cleaning up everything after him? You’d call him a neat freak. Not being able to drink coffee? You’d call him a teacup loser. 

So, when he started wearing that green hoodie of his to school, you couldn’t resist the temptation to call him Kermit the frog. And at first, it all started as a joke. But then the nickname kinda stuck and you just kept addressing him as Kermit, even if he wasn’t wearing the delectable green hoodie. And at one point, you could tell that poor Seonghwa was not a huge fan of the whole thing. But he never called you out on it or told you to stop. He never teased you back for being a hopeless nerd who studied 24/7 and read books for fun. So, you kept going.

Until the summer before your last year in high school arrived. Sadly, Seonghwa was going to be out of the country for the whole vacation. You were going to miss him terribly, you realized. You had become so used to seeing him everyday that you couldn’t imagine how you’d last three months without being able to see his pretty face all the time. You’d occasionally text him memes and ask him what he was up to. But as the summer was coming to an end, his replies became less and less frequent, more and more concise. You kept wondering if you’d done something wrong. It couldn’t be the Kermit thing, you began telling yourself. After all, it was normal to tease your best friend every once in a while. Right?

When the first day of your last year in high school came, you were nervously anticipating the moment when you’d see Seonghwa again. Summer without him had been so boring and you couldn’t wait to hug him again and find a new thing to joke about.

The second you saw him, you instinctively knew there would be no more joking around. Seonghwa practically walked into the school hallway like he owned the place. He’d completely changed his style and overall image. Gone were the dorky hoodies you secretly loved so much. Instead, they were replaced by a black leather jacket. Gone were the casual sweatpants he looked so good in. In their place were dark jeans that made him look kinda dangerous. And the whole confidence with which he carried himself was just totally different. 

If you had known that a summer abroad could change a person so much, you would have tried harder at convincing him to stay in the country. On top of it all, he was now hanging out with a bunch of popular a-holes that you had never talked to before. Honestly, you couldn’t even gather the courage to approach your best friend. He looked so distant and unfamiliar that you couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. Especially when you heard him laughing at the cool kids’ jokes. That should have been you...

You remembered when you were the one making him giggle, as if it was a century ago, when in reality it was just a couple of months. You kept sighing during the whole day, not daring to even talk to him. If he wanted to still hang out with you after his sudden “change in status”, he would, you kept convincing yourself. But he didn’t. In fact, he ignored you the whole day, making you feel like shit.

Just as you were leaving the school building in a hurry, mentally prepared for an evening of crying your eyes out and eating ice cream, you felt a hand grabbing you tightly. Turning around, you were surprised to find Seonghwa’s eyes staring back at you.

“Hi, princess,” he greeted you calmly.

“H-hi, S-seonghwa,” you responded dumbly.

“What? No witty comeback?” Seonghwa scoffed, smirking.

“What are you talking about?”

“Aren’t you gonna bully me and call me names again? Kermit? Teacup loser? Neat freak? What’s it gonna be this time?” he spat out, pushing you against the school wall and extending his arms to touch the cold bricks so that you would feel trapped.

“Bully you?” you whispered in disbelief. “H-hwa, I wasn’t...I didn’t m-mean...”

“Oh, yeah?” he mocked your stuttering self. “Then, why did you say all these things, huh?”

“You know why,” you replied.

“No, I don’t. So, tell me right now or I swear, I can make your existence a living hell,” Seonghwa threatened.

“Because I like you, you idiot!” you cried out. “I like you so that’s why I’ve been teasing you. Because if I didn’t, I would have to admit how attractive I find all your habits. How adorable it is when you used to tidy your desk and how sexy you looked in that damned green hoodie. There, I said it. Are you happy now?”

You were so frustrated with the way he ignored you all day only to accuse you of bullying him that you ducked your head swiftly beneath his arm, simultaneously bending your knees, and, thus, successfully escaping from Seonghwa’s ambush.

“Y/N, wait!” he called after you, but you were running too fast and luck was on your side, as the bus arrived at that exact same moment, allowing you to get on it, before he could.

You couldn’t sleep much that night, tormented by the fact Seonghwa had confused your friendly jokes with bullying and how foolishly you’d confessed your feelings for him. You were certain that your affections were unrequited and now that he had this whole new position in the school hierarchy, he would undoubtedly make fun of you for them. You were even considering transferring to another school to avoid the potential embarrassment.

In the morning, no sooner had you finished breakfast in the comfort of your room than you heard loud honks. They were unlike the ones in your dad’s car so you couldn’t help but wonder what jerk had decided to park in front of your house and make your day even worse.

“Sweetie,” your mom informed you a bit after. “Your friend Seonghwa is here. He said he’ll drive you to school today. As promised.”

“He did?” you mumbled in confusion. But maybe because you weren’t ready to talk to your mom yet about what happened yesterday, you lied. “Ah, that’s right, I almost forgot.”

Hurriedly, you grabbed your bag and practically sprinted downstairs. You were curious to see what he wanted. And that’s exactly what you asked the minute you entered his car.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Aw, no good morning for me, princess?” Seonghwa pouted and God, you hated how cute you found him after the way he’d treated you the previous day. “What does it look like I’m doing?” he rolled his eyes, starting the engine. “I’m driving you to school.”

“I can see that. But why?” you hissed.

“Well, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed,” he groaned. “If you’re so insistent on finding out, I’ll tell you. Ever since you told me how you felt yesterday, I’ve been thinking...And I’ve come to the conclusion that you have two options. Option number one is to enjoy your hellish last year of high school. You’ve had your fair share of teasing me so I’m definitely going to enjoy telling everyone about your little crush on me. It’s going to be so much fun to embarrass you in front of the whole school.”

What the fuck was wrong with him? Seonghwa was supposed to be your best friend! Why was he suddenly acting like you were worth less than a dirty rug? Was it possible that he had changed so much in the span of three months? Or was he always like that? Had you been blinded by his good looks? No, that definitely wasn’t the case. Seonghwa was the sweetest guy you’d ever known. How did he get so...cold? Cold enough to chill your bones.

“And what’s option number two?” you grunted, already anticipating the worst.

“So, there’s this annoying girl in our class I want to avoid at all costs. Just because her parents are doing business with mine does not mean I’m into her. Option number two is for us to pretend we’re dating in school. Considering how much you like me, I’m assuming it won’t be very difficult for you to pretend. If you agree, that is.”

What a jerk...You shared your sincere feelings with your best friend and that’s the first thing that crossed his mind? To use you in order to avoid some random girl? If it was any other guy, you would have said no. If you weren’t desperate for even a fraction of Seonghwa’s time and attention, you would have said no. If you weren’t so pathetically whipped for him, you would have said no.

“I’ll do it,” you said. “For how long do you need me to be your fake girlfriend?”

“Just until graduation. Then, we’ll fake break up and each go our separate ways. How does that sound?”

It sounded terrible! You wanted Seonghwa to be a part of your life forever. But with the way he was treating you, you weren’t confident he felt the same way anymore.

“Sounds great,” you lied, because you couldn’t give him the satisfaction of hearing your thoughts. You’d never be perceived as weak again.

The second you walked into school, Seonghwa’s arm wrapped possessively around your shoulder, everyone’s eyes were on you. It was like high-schoolers had no better thing to occupy their time with but to gossip around the latest dating news. If you weren’t enjoying his company so much, you would have found their reactions pathetic. And somewhat unnerving.

“When did you two lovebirds start seeing each other?” one of Seonghwa’s popular friends Yunho asked.

“Oh, you know what they say. A girl and a guy can’t stay just friends for long,” Seonghwa responded.

You internally rolled your eyes. Your best friend before the summer would have never said such a thing. Whatever the reason for his current behaviour was, you would get to the bottom of it. And right now, you felt like going along with this whole fake dating thing was your best chance at unraveling the mystery.

For the first day of your little arrangement, everything seemed to be going fine. Everyone was staring at you two but you didn’t mind. All you cared about was him. However, soon enough Seonghwa started asking you for weird things.

“Carry my bag for me.” / “Get me a drink from the vending machine, will you?” / “Bring me a snack from the supermarket across the street.” / “Oh, and for my friends, too, doll.”

Seriously, it was getting infuriating. You no longer felt like you were his bestie. You didn’t even feel like you were his fake girlfriend. At this point, you had practically become his slave! Running any errand and carrying his stuff for him. But what was the alternative? If you refused to play your part in this pretend dating scheme, he could easily turn against you and make fun of you in front of the whole school. So, you kept your mouth shut and swallowed your pride.

One evening, around a month after the fake dating agreement had started, you had stayed in the library a bit longer to prepare for an upcoming assignment. By the time you were out of the school building, you supposed that Seonghwa had already gone home. Frankly, the only nice thing he was intent on doing for you was driving you to school and back to your place most of the days.

As you were making your way towards the bus stop, you had the strangest suspicion you were being followed. Not daring to turn around, you started walking faster. But unfortunately, your attackers also sped up and soon enough, you were surrounded by a group of angry faces. Their leader was obviously Eunhee, the most popular girl in the whole school. And coincidentally, this was also the girl whose parents were doing business with Seonghwa’s parents. The very reason you were fake dating your best friend in the first place.

“Well, if it isn’t the little bookshrimp,” she mocked you, sticking a sharp nail into your chest. You didn’t bother correcting her that the right term was bookworm. You were already in enough trouble as it was. For some reason, teasing Seonghwa had been easy because you meant well and you were sure he wouldn’t hurt you. Not really. Because he knew how badly you’d been bullied in middle school. But now that you were met with so many threatening figures, you froze rightaway, unable to defend yourself.

“Just l-leave me alone,” you stammered.

“Aw, aren’t you a little pathetic shrimpie?” Eunhee cooed and started pulling your hair harshly and kicking you onto the ground. The other girls were holding you down so that you wouldn’t fight back. “Did you seriously believe you can steal Seonghwa from me? We’re meant to be together and if you stand in our way, I will fucking kill you!”

“S-stop, you’re hurting me!” you exclaimed sorrowfully. You tried your best to shield yourself and push her away but her loyal minions were preventing you from doing so. Just as Eunhee was about to slap you across the face, you witnessed as her threatening hand was stopped mid-air by the interloper whose features you couldn’t quite discern in the dark. But whose voice you would recognize anywhere.

“You think you’re so brave?” Seonghwa yelled at Eunhee and her friends. “Ganging up on her like that? Six against one? You’re the pathetic ones.”

“Hwa, we were just trying to teach her a lesson. She should learn her place, after all,” Eunhee tried to explain.

“A lesson?” he scoffed. “You dumbasses can’t even pass Calculus and you want to teach the smartest girl in our school a lesson?” your heart melted with warmth at how highly he thought of you. “Oh, that’s rich.”

“You won’t tell my dad, right?” Eunhee was suddenly on the defensive. She’d probably be in big trouble if he found out how his precious daughter was behaving in school.

“Get out of my sight right now or I’ll tell the whole country,” Seonghwa threatened through gritted teeth. (Later on, he actually did tell her dad about the incident and Eunhee, along with her followers, were suspended from school for two weeks. Oh, and their rich parents cut off their money, which was pretty impressive an accomplishment). And so, the vicious girls scattered like roaches in daylight. Pulling you onto your feet, Seonghwa grabbed your hand and started walking towards his car which you somehow hadn’t noticed parked nearby. Getting inside, he started the engine immediately but his hands were clutching the steering wheel so hard you were feeling a bit scared. You had never seen your best friend so angry. Well, maybe the only other time that came close was when you were telling him about your past experiences with bullying...

“Are you mad at me?” you asked sheepishly.

“At you?” he chuckled harshly. “Why would I be mad at you? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I don’t know...”

“Why didn’t you fight them back?” Seonghwa inquired.

“I tried, but I was reminded of middle school and just...froze. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, I’m not blaming you,” he replied calmly. “I was just wondering. Cause I know you’ve been going to self-defense classes. And I thought you were making progress. I mean, the last time I came to watch, you were pretty good.”

That was before the summer. Of course it was. Still, you were touched by the fact that he remembered. Despite acting like he didn’t care, you instinctively knew he did.

“I mean, I was,” you said. “But I panicked.”

Seonghwa let go of the wheel with one hand and placed it on your bare knee, rubbing calming circles around it. You two were alone so you were certain this was no longer the fake dating thing. This was just your best friend being there for you when you needed him the most.

“If anyone tries that shit again, just tell them you’re my girlfriend, alright? They have to be idiots to mess with you,” he spoke angrily.

“Fake girlfriend,” you reminded him sadly.

“That’s none of their business,” he replied, but didn’t correct you. Oh, how badly you wished to be his real girlfriend. To show him how much you cared for him.

“Why did you change so much over the summer?” you suddenly asked, while Seonghwa was driving you home.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Seonghwa responded harshly. “You don’t like my green hoodie and you also don’t like my leather jacket? There’s really no satisfying you, is there?”

“I didn’t mean your clothes,” you mumbled. “Just...your overall attitude towards me. Before the summer you used to let me squeeze your cheeks and sit in your lap and now you seem so...unapproachable. I’m just saying, we were closer when I was your best friend than we are now that I’m your fake girlfriend.”

Seonghwa stopped the car abruptly, making you blink in shock.

“I changed because I was sick of you treating me like a little boy and I wanted you to start seeing me as a man,” he admitted but without looking into your eyes.

“W-what are you saying?” you swallowed nervously.

“Nevermind.”

“No, you have to talk to me, Hwa!” you insisted desperately. “If you still consider me your best friend, be honest with me. Please.”

“This,” he gestured vaguely at you as he finally met your gaze. “This is exactly why I changed so much, Y/N. I don’t want to be your best friend anymore.”

His cruel words hurt you more than anything you’d ever experienced in your life. More than all the bullying, the slapping and getting pushed against a wall. Losing your best friend was your worst fear. But you had promised yourself to never be weak again. So the second he said that, you pulled the handle of the side door, attempting to get out of his car. Before you could do that, Seonghwa grabbed your hand, effectively keeping you in place.

“I want to be your boyfriend. For real this time,” he elaborated.

You stared at him in utter confusion.

“But...when I confessed, you acted like you didn’t care. Like I meant nothing to you.”

“Forget how I acted. I only offered the fake dating shit because I wanted to get closer to you again. Make up for the lost time during the summer. Do you honestly think I give a fuck about what Eunhee thinks or says about me? I just used that as an excuse. I’ve told her I’m not into her hundreds of times. And yes, maybe I have changed. Not because I don’t care about you. But because I do. You used to gush about Count Dracula and Darth Vader so much that I thought if I became the bad guy, you’d finally notice me. I wanted so terribly to impress you and make you stop seeing me as your adorable best friend that I got too lost in the feeling of holding power over you...Too lost to notice you liked me all along, didn’t you?”

“I did,” you whispered teary-eyed. “I do,” correcting yourself. “H-hwa, I’m so sorry to break it to you but-”

“If you reject me, I won’t be responsible for attempted murder,” Seonghwa interrupted you jokingly.

“I’m so sorry to break it to you,” you repeated with a sly smirk. “But no matter how hard you try to change, I will always see you as my adorable best friend. And though I have to admit I did stop teasing you temporarily, that was only because you suddenly started behaving like the dangerously sexy king of the high school. Can you blame me for feeling a little intimidated? I know I’ve said this before but I didn’t think me teasingly calling you Kermit would go this far. I never meant to hurt you, Hwa.”

“I know you didn’t, princess,” Seonghwa whispered, gently stroking your cheeks.

“And yes,” you smiled shyly, leaning into his touch.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I want to be your real girlfriend. It would be a dream come true.”

“Yeah?” he chuckled, as if the very idea seemed amusing to him. “How badly do you want it?”

“So badly, I would do anything for you, sir,” you uttered the last word without thinking much, your brain somehow recalling a time when you two had discussed how you’d enjoy being called by a potential significant other. In retrospect, that wasn’t really a thing best friends generally talked about.

“Sir?” Seonghwa grinned, leaning his head against your forehead. “Keep that up and your real girlfriend status will be confirmed.”

“I want to kiss you so much,” you were on the verge of begging. Oh, screw it. “Please, please, let me kiss you.”

He didn’t respond, just connected your lips with his own softly, taking his time with you. It was pure magic. You had thought about kissing your best friend thousands of times. But nothing compared to the reality. Parting your lips further to let his tongue in, you physically couldn’t prevent yourself from moaning into his mouth, overwhelmed by how good it felt. How insanely intoxicating he tasted. How you were burning alive and it would be the sweetest death imaginable.

“Not if I kiss you first,” Seonghwa said once he broke the kiss apart. “Oh, wait, I just did.”

What the hell...had just happened? Sneaking a peak at the time, you were suddenly panicking by how late it was.

“Holy shit, my parents are going to kill me!” you exclaimed. “Can you please drive me home?”

“Sure thing, princess,” he laughed, increasingly amused by your flustered self. “That’s exactly what I was intending to do anyways. I’m not in the habit of keeping little girls past their bed time.”

“Shut up, I’m not a little girl!” you complained. “I’m just a few months younger than you. Asshole.”

“Hey! Is that any way to speak to your devoted boyfriend?” Seonghwa scolded you teasingly.

Oh, God. You loved the sound of that. Your best friend was now your boyfriend. It still felt unreal.

“I’m sorry, sir,” you mewled apologetically, already knowing how to make him weak for you with just one tiny word. “And thank you for taking me home.”

“Anytime,” Seonghwa smiled. “See you tomorrow, baby.”

You could get used to it. Reaching forward to open the door for you, he whispered in your ear:

“I’m taking you out on our first date. Doll yourself up for me, will you?”

You nodded, your heart beating too fast to actually manage a verbal response. After you got inside and suffered a brief interrogation from your parents (using the library+extra assignments excuse), you hurried up the stairs, took a quick shower and then went to bed. No sooner had you closed your eyes than your phone buzzed with notifications.

Kermit the Frog: You still up?

Kermit the Frog: For fear of sounding lame, I moss you already

Kermit the Frog: *Miss...damn autocorrect

You chuckled upon seeing his messages. Whatever demon possessed you to still keep that nickname in your chat, you knew you had to change it immediately. If he saw it on your first date tomorrow, you would never hear the end of it.

You: I’m awake, yes

You: And I moss you too 😉

You purposefully misspelled the word to tease him. After all, it was only in order.

Boyfie 🐸: That obnoxious Kermit nickname better be gone by tomorrow

He texted as if he’d read your mind and you gasped in surprise.

Boyfie 🐸: Or we’re having our first couple fight!!

You: How did you know?!?

Boyfie 🐸: Not my fault you keep your phone unlocked sometimes

Boyfie 🐸: I’m not kidding, change it right now 😡

You: Changed it already

You texted him back quickly, sending him a screenshot.

You: Can I at least keep the frog emoji? 🥺

Boyfie 🐸: NO!!! REMOVE IT OR WE BREAK UP 😡😡😡

You: Damnit, Hwa, your angery Aries is showing...okay, fineee

You sent another screenshot of the now changed emoji.

You: Happy now?

Boyfie ❤️🖤💙: Much better, princess 🤗🤗🤗

Boyfie ❤️🖤💙: Now go to sleep, we have early classes tomorrow

You: Wow, so bossy. Okay, sir, I’m going

Boyfie ❤️🖤💙: Good night, my baby 😘

You: Staaahp, ohmygosh. And good night, Hwa 🥺

The next morning you ran outside faster than The Flash as soon as you heard the oh-so-familiar honks. When you saw Seonghwa waiting there to pick you up, your heart did a backflip as you excitedly took the passenger seat.

“Good morning, boyfriend,” you greeted him and kissed his cheek. “This still feels so strange.”

“Well, you better get used to it, doll. Wow, you really cleaned up nicely today,” he complimented your pastel pink dress. “Not that you usually don’t! You’re always gorgeous, I just meant that you’re especially gorgeous and...nope, that also sounds wrong. Okay, I shut up now.”

“Relax,” you giggled. “It’s fine. I appreciate the effort. You don’t look so bad yourself. Oh, who am I kidding? You’re practically sex on legs 24/7. I think it’s time for me to shut up now.”

“You’re so cute when you get flustered. Anyone ever tell you that?”

“Just you,” you admitted.

Once you walked into the school, it was like everyone noticed the subtle change in your dynamic. Because Seonghwa did something he never did before. He carried your bag and gave you his leather jacket! And Hwa’s friends were immediately onto you like bees to honey.

“I mean, I knew you guys were dating,” Seonghwa’s friend Yunho observed. “But I never saw the chemistry before, to be honest. Until now. I mean, come on, Y/N was like a loyal puppy, always following Hwa around.”

“Hey, don’t give him any ideas!” you joked.

“Too late. Already ordered the collar,” Seonghwa winked.

“Kinky. Can’t tell if I’m into it or want to cut off my ears,” Yunho grinned. “Probably both.”

“Nice chat, but we gotta head to class, Yu,” Seonghwa said because his friend was in a different class.

“See you for lunch?” Yunho suggested.

“Can’t. Already made plans with this little girl,” Hwa tilted his head towards you.

“Whoo, enjoy, then!”

“It’s not what it sounds like!” you groaned, feeling uncharacteristically embarassed.

“Isn’t it?” Seonghwa smirked mysteriously and pulled you towards the room you had class in.

“Nothing involving collars and puppies, I assure you!” you yelled (perhaps a little too loudly), twisting your head, not wanting to give Yunho and the rest of Seonghwa’s friends the wrong idea.

When your classes for the day were over, Seonghwa led you towards his car once again. You were a bit nervous to make a good impression on your first date. Even though it was silly. Your best friend of four years had surely made a first impression a long time ago.

“Where are we going?” you asked to break the awkward silence.

“It’s a surprise, princess. Can you be patient for me?”

“I can,” you promised dutifully and placed your tiny hand on top of his. “Anything for you, sir.”

Seonghwa lost focus on the road for the briefest of moments in order to give you a warning look. One look and that was all you needed to keep you quiet and obedient. Eventually, you realized where he was taking you. Though you hadn’t been to his place for a couple of months now, you couldn’t forget how the drive to Seonghwa’s home looked.

“I dressed myself up and we’re just going to your place?” you hmphed in playful annoyance. “So much for our glamorous first date.”

“Don’t underestimate the power of my cooking skills. Shit, I sorta ruined the surprise, didn’t I?”

“Aww, you were planning to cook for me on our first date? Hwaaa, I’ve only had you as a boyfriend for less than 24 hours and you’re already pulling out the big guns! I don’t mean to push my luck but if you’re cooking now, I’m trembling to witness our one month anniversary.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes.

“You’re very ambitious to think you can put up with me for an entire month.”

”Hwa, sweetie, I’ve put up with you for four years.”

“Not as your boyfriend, you haven’t.”

“We’ll talk again in 30 days,” you vowed enigmatically.

“Here we are,” Seonghwa announced once he parked in front of his home. “My parents are currently at work so you don’t need to worry about...well, anything, really.”

“What’s the supposed to mean?” for some reason his words made you even more worried.

“Nothing, I just meant you can...like, be yourself. There’s no one to impress.”

“There’s you,” you pointed out. “Don’t forget your parents already know me. And besides, you’re the only person I care about impressing.” 

“Not to stroke your ego, but you’ve already impressed me. After all, you’re the only one who’s had the audacity to compare me to a freaking muppet and survived.”

“Point taken,” you chuckled.

“Come on, let’s get inside,” Seonghwa suggested and the two of you entered his house. No matter how much you begged him to let you help with the cooking, he was insistent that he would do all the work. Said something about making up to you for the times you had to carry his bag or buy snacks to him and his friends. When you argued that you also had some making up to do for all the times you teased him a little too insensitively, he said that you agreeing to be his real girlfriend was enough to satisfy his wounded heart. Seeing that there was no point in arguing, you gave up and occupied yourself by mindlessly scrolling through social media. About an hour later, Seonghwa finally deemed his culinary masterpieces ready to be eaten. He allowed you to at least help set the table which you considered a small victory. The second you tried the first meal, you were so overwhelmed by the exquisite tastes that you spoke without thinking much.

“God, I wanna marry you.”

Seonghwa simply chuckled, amused by your unexpected reaction.

“Did I say that out loud?” you whispered, completely mortified, covering your mouth in embarassment.

“I’m afraid so.”

“Shit, I’m such a mess,” you mumbled.

“No, it’s fine. I take it as a compliment. Now, eat up before it gets cold. If my wicked plan works, you’ll have bought me a wedding ring by the time dessert arrives.”

“Truly wicked. I’m in danger,” you laughed and kept enjoying the various meals Seonghwa had prepared. 

Once the plates were empty, you felt so full and warm you couldn’t possibly move. And no, that wasn’t an exaggeration. Seonghwa had to physically carry you to the couch so that you two would re-watch Star Wars: Return of the Jedi together, warmly cuddled up under a blanket.

Suddenly, you were possessed by the urge to speak your mind and be as honest with him as possible. After hiding your true feelings for four years, now that you were finally given the chance to be yourself, you were feeling uncharacteristically brave.

“You know, even though I was messing around earlier, I had indeed daydreamed about marrying you back in our first year of high school. You were the first boy who ever treated me like I wasn’t the walking joke of the universe. The first who ever hung out with me not as a prank but because you actually saw me as a friend. When I started teasing you about your cute habits, I hope you know I never wished to hurt you. I just wanted to show you that I notice and appreciate every single detail about you. So, yeah, I really like you, Hwa. Have liked you for a long time.”

Seonghwa had paused the movie the second you started talking. And now that you were done sharing your thoughts, he seemed unable to say anything. The silence was a bit awkward so you interrupted it once again.

“I’m sorry, that was silly. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable so early in our re-”

This time, he interrupted you with a kiss, pulling you into his lap, just like the good old days. You smiled into his mouth, wrapping your arms around him.

“It wasn’t silly. I appreciate you saying all that,” Seonghwa reassured you. “And for the record, I know you meant well with all the teasing. In a sense, a part of me even suspected that you liked me back. But I was also feeling a bit insecure. I kept thinking that you could do so much better than go out with dorky Kermit guy who has an obsession with tidying up, you know? That you deserved someone else. But I couldn’t allow anyone else to be that someone. So, I changed myself.”

“Maybe you did change a little. But in my heart, you’re always going to be my Frog Prince Hwa.”

“I hate you so much,” he rolled his eyes.

“Naw, you don’t.”

“Fine. I hate that you’re right.”

Things between you and Seonghwa were going great. It had been three months since you two started dating for real. He was super attentive and caring towards you. However, you were a bit bummed out since not much changed compared to his behaviour as your best friend and as your boyfriend. Sure, you did start kissing each other and occasionally making out (which wasn’t exactly a best friend activity). But there was one thing that still had not happened. And the more time passed, the more anxious you felt to bring it up.

One evening, you had miraculously convinced your parents to let you have a sleepover at Seonghwa’s place. After insisting that nothing out of the ordinary was going on between you two and even if something unusual did happen (which you highly doubted but secretly hoped for), you were going to use protection (and no, you were certainly not referring to Seonghwa’s collection of action figures who carried weapons).

As you and your boyfriend were enjoying your snacks while watching TV from the comfort of his bed, you couldn’t help but finally raise the question that had been tormenting your mind for a while now.

“S-seonghwa...do you not find me attractive?”

“What the hell are you asking me that for? Would you be my girlfriend if I didn’t find you attractive?”

“Well, I don’t know. I’ve never dated anyone before so...I was just wondering if there’s a particular reason why we still haven’t...taken things to the next level?”

“The next level?” he chuckled. “Relationships aren’t video games. And to answer your question, the reason’s actually the exact opposite of your concerns. We haven’t done anything more than making out because I find you ridiculously attractive. And it’s taking every last inch of my self-restraint to not pressure you into something you’re not comfortable with. I just wanted to wait until you’re ready.”

“Ready? So you knew that I haven’t...with anyone...yet?” you purposefully left out some words because you were feeling incredibly shy discussing this with Seonghwa.

“Of course I knew, princess. You’re my best friend. And my girlfriend.”

“Well, that’s a relief, at least. That you’re not repulsed by my...inexperience.”

“Why would I be when we’re in the same boat?”

“We are?” you whispered in shock.

“Why do you look so surprised?” Seonghwa laughed. “I’ve had the biggest crush on you since forever. Did you honestly think I would just screw anyone else?”

“Well, it’s not like you didn’t have options,” you pointed out, referring to all the potential love interests swarming around him like bees. “Unlike me.”

“Are you regretful, little girl?” he inquired, running a lazy finger across your cheek. “Jealous?”

“No, I just...want to be the best for you, sir,” you confessed nervously.

“You’re already the best I could hope for,” Seonghwa responded and kissed you hungrily, burying his hands into your hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” you curiously needed to know. “That you haven’t either...”

“It’s not something that comes up in everyday conversation?” he pointed out. “What was I supposed to say? Hi, bestie, let’s have lunch together. Oh and by the way, I’m a hopeless virgin pining over you?”

“You’re right,” you laughed. “It would have made things awkward.”

“Now, unless you have any other pressing issues, I suggest we go back to kissing.”

And without giving you the time to argue, Seonghwa devoured your lips rightaway, gently pushing you down so that your back hit the sheets. Then, he started slowly taking off your jeans. Anxiously trembling under his vigorous touch, you placed a hand against his chest. He immediately noticed and put a temporary halt to his ministrations.

“We don’t have to do this right now,” he comforted you with all the seriousness in his voice.

“No, I want to, I swear,” you nodded eagerly.

“Princess, you’re literally shaking,” Seonghwa remarked.

“What’s wrong with me?” you sighed.

“There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect. Tell me to stop if you feel even the slightest hint of hesitation or discomfort and I will, I promise.”

“I know you would, Hwa. I trust you. But even if I’m a bit nervous, I want to do this with you. Please?”

“Well, I can’t deny you since you’re asking so nicely,” he grinned and continued where he left off. “Can I get rid of these?” Seonghwa inquired, carefully pushing your panties to the side.

“Yes, you can do anything to me.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you really shouldn’t have said that,” he chuckled darkly and tore your underwear savagely. You couldn’t even gather the energy to complain about the ruination of your new pair, you were far too turned on by Seonghwa’s aggressive nature to care. He didn’t waste any more time, grabbing your thighs to hold them in place, he began licking your pussy with his tongue and stimulating it with his long fingers. It didn’t take long for you to start squirming beneath his touch, helplessly moaning his name. He didn’t cease his merciless movements until you reached your orgasm. When your breathing finally eased, you gathered the energy to speak again:

“I thought you said you’ve never done this before? How were you so...so...”

“So good?” Seonghwa smirked confidently and bit his lower lip. “I mean...I’ve seen videos. Read some things here and there.”

“Honestly? I think you’re a god.”

“You’ll have to stop complimenting me so much or I’ll develop a god complex,” he joked. “What do you want to do next, baby?”

“I want to suck you off,” you mumbled.

“Who taught you such dirty language?”

“Hey! I read, too,” you pouted and assuredly made your way towards the carpet next to his bed.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Seonghwa asked.

“Aren’t I supposed to kneel in order to pleasure you, sir?”

“Princesses never kneel,” he instructed and got up from the bed, urging you to lie down with your head hanging from the very edge of the bed and make yourself comfortable. “Open up that pretty little mouth for me, will you?”

You did as he asked obediently and even went the extra mile to stick your tongue out. Unbuckling his belt and throwing it to the side, Seonghwa was quick to follow your wishes and let his cock spring free from his jeans. Your mouth went dry at the sight of his monstrous size. Seeing your worries if it will fit reflected in your eyes, he expressed his concern for you:

“Are you sure about this?”

“Please, please, I need you,” you whimpered without thinking, eager to have a taste. Without making you wait any longer, Seonghwa pushed the tip of his cock inside, gently letting your cheeks get used to the unfamiliar feeling. Slowly, he went deeper, allowing you to acquaint yourself with the stretch. When you kept blinking at him in anticipation, he realized you were ready for more and began moving faster, fucking into your mouth at a steady pace. As he neared his high, his motions became less controlled you were sucking more intently, impatient to swallow every last drop of him.

“Shit, I’m going to-” he attempted to break away, but you managed to wrap your hands at the back of his legs in order to keep his cock inside your mouth. 

Seconds later, he released his cum and you began drinking it thirstily. When you had made certain that no drop was wasted, you finally let go of his legs, allowing your boyfriend’s dick to dangle freely outside of your mouth.

“You’re fucking incredible,” Seonghwa praised you and placed a soft kiss on the top of your head. “My incredible girl.”

“I’m only yours, sir,” you mumbled, way too affected by him.

“You like this, don’t you?” he mocked you teasingly.

“Yes, sir, I want to belong to you,” you whimpered and turned around to pull him back into bed.

“Your wish is my command, princess,” Seonghwa smiled fondly and took a mysterious package out of the back pocket of his jeans. Soon enough, you realized what it was, as he started lining up the condom on his cock.

“Oooh, I brought one of those, as well!” you exclaimed in surprise.

“You came here on a mission, didn’t you? Wicked little thing,” he tsked in fake disapproval.

“It’s not my fault you’re walking around like an Adonis,” you defended yourself boldly.

“You’re one to speak. Freaking goddess,” Seonghwa complimented you and slowly began unbuttoning your shirt you had somehow forgotten you were still wearing. “Is this okay?” he asked softly, always making sure you were feeling safe.

“More than okay,” you consented. Left in nothing but your baby pink bra, you unintentionally shivered at the sudden cold air surrounding you. Soon after that, Seonghwa undid the clasps and you were now only wearing your birthday suit. Feeling a bit timid, you self-consciously covered your breasts and broke eye contact with your boyfriend.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” he pressed the palm of his hand against your cheek. “Do you want to stop?”

You weakly shook your head and somehow managed to gather the strength to look into his beautifully dark eyes once again.

“Then, let me see you, yeah?” Seonghwa nudged your hands away gently. “You’re so beautiful, baby.”

You blushed at his sudden praise and allowed him to have a look. But seconds later, you were getting a bit impatient.

“Please, Hwa, I want you so much.”

“Anything for my princess,” he chuckled and coaxed his tip at your entrance slowly. When you gave him a sign he could go deeper, his movements became bolder. “Fuck, you’re taking me so well.”

“M-more, sir, I swear I can do this,” you begged as you were beginning to unravel beneath him. As he fucked you faster into oblivion, you were no longer thinking straight and his name was the only word you were capable of uttering. Over and over again. Until you both came, blissfully lost in each other’s arms.

“Here, let me clean you up,” Seonghwa offered sweetly, picking you up with little effort and carrying you to the bathtub. 

When he started shampooing your hair, rubbing body lotion into your sensitive skin and covering your neck with soft kisses, you couldn’t stop your tears from falling, touched by his infinite tenderness and by the sheer intimacy of the gesture.

“Darling, are you crying?” he questioned you upon hearing your hiccups.

“N-no,” you lied but it was useless, because it was quite obvious you were, in fact, bawling your eyes out.

“Did I hurt you, my sweet princess?” Seonghwa asked in concern.

“How...how could you think that?” you whimpered. “You’ve been nothing but kind and caring towards me. It’s just that...this is the first time I’ve felt so...special, so worthy, so...”

“Loved?” he offered the word you had been seeking for but had been too scared to utter out loud.

“Y-yeah,” you confirmed shyly. “Is it too early to say this? I’m sorry if it is but...I love you, Seonghwa.”

He simply stared at you in disbelief for a couple of seconds. This time, you were once again the one to break the deafening silence.

“You don’t have to say it back. I just...I wanted you to know. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way but-”

“I love you too, baby. Of course I do,” Seonghwa reassured you. “And I’m not just saying it, I don’t feel obliged to say it. As my best friend, you know me better than anyone else. And you know I don’t do things unless I want to. So, believe me when I say this.”

“Fuck,” you uttered and only started crying harder in his arms.

“Shhh, you’re safe with me, sweetheart. I would never harm you,” he comforted you and stroked your hair lovingly, putting all your worries and self-doubts at the very back of your head.

After you were all dried up from the bath and had put on your boyfriend’s shirt while he was still in the shower, you were feeling uncharacteristically confident. Confident enough to look for something you hadn’t seen for a while. You had been wondering if he had it hanging around somewhere in his wardrobe. And after a short period of rummaging you found your treasure. The green hoodie. The Kermit hoodie. You smiled mischievously as you changed into it. It still smelled like him, you beamed. Back when he was simply your best friend, the amount of times you had fantasized about him lending it to you should have been illegal. So now that you had been promoted to his girlfriend, you simply couldn’t let such an opportunity pass you by.

Once Seonghwa got out of the shower, water droplets running down the divine skin on his bare chest, you were too busy staring at him in all his beauty and glory to notice the angry look on his face.

“How did you even find this? It was hidden so well in my wardrobe,” he scowled.

“Don’t be mad,” you pouted adorably. “I look so cute in it, right?”

“Cuter than me, that’s for sure,” Seonghwa rolled his eyes and tickled your belly.

“That’s impossible, you make the cutest Kermit,” you giggled, enjoying how easy it was to get on his nerves.

“You’ll never let me live this down, will you?” he groaned.

“Never ever, my stunning Frog Prince,” you vowed and kissed him quickly, taking him by surprise. His eyes widened in shock and he seemed too flustered to continue scolding you.

“You’re in luck today. Nothing can ruin my good mood,” Seonghwa was determined.

“Great,” you grinned gleefully. “Cause from now on, I intend on making all your days filled with joy.”

“From now on?” he chuckled sarcastically. “Oh, princess, my days have been filled with nothing but joy ever since I met you.”

And indeed, both Seonghwa’s days and yours were nothing but pure happiness ever since you decided to make your relationship real. And despite his foolish statement that he no longer wanted to be your best friend, you had somehow managed to convince him that he was both your boyfriend and bestie and that was perfectly okay. As if in the blink of an eye, spring came which meant that the whole school was in nervous excitement about the upcoming prom. Generally, you weren’t the type to get overwhelmed about such a trivial topic. But now that you were dating Seonghwa, the most popular guy in the school, you couldn’t help but worry a little. What if he wanted to go with someone else? Someone equal in “status”? Your worries and insecurities further intensified when he started asking questions in a weird way.

“I need your help,” Seonghwa blurted out over lunch.

“Shoot.”

“Okay, so, I have this friend. And he really likes this girl and wants to ask her to prom. What do you think would make her happy?”

You blinked in surprise. You knew that when people pulled the “I’m just asking for a friend” card, they were most likely talking about themselves. Was he seriously thinking of inviting another girl to prom? You tensed a little but tried really hard to remain neutral in your answer and actually make an attempt to help your bestie.

“I mean, all girls are different,” you reasoned. “If you describe her to me, maybe I’ll be able to give a more appropriate suggestion.”

“She’s a bit like you. You know, kinda bookish and-”

“It’s alright, Seonghwa, you can say it. I’m a nerd.”

“Well, yes, but...”

“It’s not exactly a slur,” you chuckled coldly.

“I know, but that’s what your bullies in middle school called you. I didn’t mean to sound insensitive,” Hwa put his hand on top of yours in a gentle, comforting manner.

“It’s fine when if you say it,” you smiled. “I won’t get offended.”

“I was going to say my friend’s crush is intelligent like you but, oh well.”

“That does sound better, I admit,” you giggled.

“She’s also a bit shy and introverted so maybe she wouldn’t enjoy a public promposal. Crowds tend to make her nervous,” Seonghwa observed.

“Seems like you didn’t need my help after all,” you scoffed playfully.

“No, I do! I still haven’t come up with an actual way to propose. I mean, for my friend.”

“Right. Your friend. Well, he can’t go wrong with some poetry under her balcony. If she has one, that is.”

“I’m pretty sure she does.” Seonghwa smirked. “Alright, thanks.”

He jumped from his seat, not even having finished his lunch.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“I gotta prepare my friend’s promposal,” he shrugged and disappeared from your sight, leaving you a bit crest-fallen. If he was intending on asking you, he wouldn’t have turned to you for help, right? That would sorta ruin the element of surprise, wouldn’t it? And yet, you knew that Seonghwa wasn’t the type to care about people’s opinions and randomly ask a more popular girl out because of public demand. And he definitely wasn’t the kind of person to just date you for kicks and then ditch you at prom. Despite those very logical reasons, you couldn’t help but feel a little anxious.

A week later, you realized all your worries had been for nothing. It was a Sunday morning and you had just finished having breakfast with your family. You were leisurely reading on your bed when you heard some suspicious noises coming from your window. You looked up from your book and you could swear you saw tiny rocks hitting the glass! You jumped up angrily, half-expecting to find a bunch of neighbour kids pulling a prank. But you were surprised when you spotted your boyfriend standing under your balcony. Wearing his iconic green hoodie.

“What are you doing here?” you whispered, though a hopeful part of you already knew the answer.

“But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,” he recited diligently in a song-like manner.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his overdramatic acting but it was the effort that touched you immensely.

“And none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, O, it is my love! O, that she knew she were!” he continued sweetly.

You were so in love with this man it was insane.

“Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, Having some business, do entreat her eyes To twinkle in their spheres till they return,” Seonghwa kept going.

You couldn’t resist the urge to leap off the balcony. It was just the second floor so what could possibly go wrong? Other than a scraped knee and a bit of a limp. God, you were such an idiot.

“Shit, are you okay?” Seonghwa asked in terror and wrapped his arms around you.

“The excruciating pain is worth it if I get to hug you like this,” you grinned, leaning against him for support.

“Why couldn’t you just walk down the stairs like a normal person?”

“And what’s romantic about that?” you joked. “Jumping off a balcony makes for a much better story.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Only for you, my sweet Frogmeo!” you teased and kissed his cheek.

“Wait, I wasn’t finished!” Seonghwa exclaimed excitedly, not bothering to act offended about your obsession with him and that Kermit hoodie. “There was something about cheeks, I swear.”

“See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!” you helped him out dutifully.

“O, that I were a glove upon that hand, That I might touch that cheek!” he finished proudly and placed his palm against your cheek.

“Only you could possibly mix Romeo and Juliet with The Frog Prince and somehow make it work,” you praised him.

“Does that mean you’ll go to prom with me?” Seonghwa tilted his head to the side adorably.

“Of course I will, baby,” you responded happily.

“Thank God, ‘cause learning that monologue drained my soul and brain,” he whistled playfully.

“You know, you had me worried there for a second,” you confessed reluctantly, because you didn’t want to keep any secrets from your doting boyfriend.

“When?” Seonghwa asked in confusion.

“Lunchtime. A week ago. When you asked me for advice. I thought that...”

“That I would ask someone else?” he correctly guessed your suspicions. And you nodded. “Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me?”

“No, you’re perfect. In fact, too perfect. It makes me feel like I don’t deserve you.”

Seonghwa smiled sadly and kissed the top of your head. But he wasn’t angry with you. Just wanted to erase those silly thoughts from your mind.

“You deserve so much more, princess. But I’ll try my best to give you all I can.”

“As will I,” you promised and mischievously pulled the drawstrings on his hoodie, making his face squished adorably.

“If this is the best you’re capable of, I dread to see your worst,” he shook his head in amusement.

“Prince Frogmeo and the Nerdy Princess,” you sighed wistfully. “That would make a hell of a fairy tale, wouldn’t it?”

“How about Kermit the Frog whoops the Princess’s ass for being a brat?” Seonghwa threatened jokingly.

“You know what? I wouldn’t say no to that,” you giggled and started running away from him. “If you catch me first!”

Prom night arrived and despite all the preparations and excitements around it, it was nothing special in itself. What made it special, however, were the moments you spent with Seonghwa. Just dancing and talking seemed to be enough to make your heart leap with joy. And the smile never left your face the entire night.

“School’s really ending, huh?” you spoke aloud without thinking, while you were swaying slightly to the music in your boyfriend’s arms.

“This isn’t the end of us. We’ll go to college, we’ll grow up. The best is yet to come, darling.”

“You know what I meant,” you replied, a hint of sadness tinging your tone. “In college, I’ll study Literature, you’ll study Music. We’ll no longer be able to sit next to each other in class or exchange notes or hold hands under the desk.”

“We’ll do all sorts of other things,” Seonghwa responded cheerfully, trying to think positive. “We’ll have study dates in college, we’ll visit new restaurants and make more memories together. Just because high school is over, doesn’t mean we are. I’m not giving up on my best friend ever.”

“Your girlfriend,” you corrected him playfully.

“My best friend,” he repeated. “You were right. Being in love with each other doesn’t nullify our friendship. Both are equally important to me. You are the most important to me.”

“God, Hwa, how can you say such things so easily?”

“Is your heart fluttering?” your boyfriend and best friend teased you, swirling you around while dancing. You were met with his beautiful dark gaze again as he murmured: “Hi, princess.”

“H-hi, S-seonghwa,” you chuckled in response.

And you were finally home.

The End

[yumeyooa]

revenge is brutally sweet | jeon jungkook

—jeon jungkook’s life so far has been going well. he’s the guitarist of the most famous band in the scene, he’s got the girl of his dreams, and everything he’s ever wished for is in the palm of his hands. what he doesn’t expect though, is to wake up one day in the middle of a controversy. what the controversy is, you may ask? a new band has been hitting the charts, and their lead singer is none other than you, a former member of the band and his ex-girlfriend.

➢  pairing: jeon jungkook x female! reader

➢ genre: angst | slight fluff | band au | slight highschool au | post breakup au | exes au | r 15 | guitarist! jungkook | vocalist! reader

➢ word count: 14.6k+

➢  warning: profanity | heavy drinking | toxic relationships | messy break-ups | self depriciation | bullying | messy closure | this is just very much super angsty

➢ love letter: AH SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG T_T I kinda drowned in midterms AHSHSHs but I hope you enjoy this fic <33 there’s more to this angsty collection to come so stay tuned!! 

navigation | collection masterlist

Life couldn’t be any better. 

This is what Jeon Jungkook constantly told himself every morning after his short, fifteen-minute shower while messily tousling his hair in an extra-soft towel as he takes in the dreary yet somehow vibrant view from his penthouse apartment, soaking in the sun’s rays. 

The city was busy, even though the sun had just risen and bloomed into full glory. The streets were filled with people rushing to get wherever they needed to be, cars driving past with the fervor of a shackled mad man on wheels. If Jungkook looked closer, he would have probably seen the black exhaust drifting in the air from the fumes of those ecologically damaging vehicles or the frantic looks on an office worker’s face as they hurriedly crossed the street obviously late for work. 

But alas, Jungkook couldn’t care less about the trials and tribulations of some strangers he didn’t even know. After all, his life was going great. In fact, he was literally walking on cloud nine at this point and felt like nothing had stopped him. 

Of course, it wasn’t always this way, which was why Jungkook appreciated his success tenfold. 

He, like every other success story, had started from the ground up. Music was something he had always dreamed of doing for the rest of his life. Ever since his grandfather had first shown him how to play the guitar, the melodies had wrapped their whimsical tunes around his heart and made themselves stay. It was fascinating to him how playing a couple of strings could produce such music that could move souls and bring smiles to people’s faces.

And ever since then, he was hooked. Every chance he got, he would play the guitar even if his parents tried to pry him off it. 

They wanted him to be a doctor after all, and there was no way in hell he was going to go by their wishes. While being a doctor was great, it didn’t ignite the same spark that music did, and for Jungkook, he would rather die than live a life without his flame running ablaze.

So, against his parent’s wishes, he pursued a career in music. It wasn’t easy, of course. At first, he had no support system for his dream. His friends and teachers ridiculed and discouraged him, saying that the future was bleak and he had no hopes of making it big. But if Jungkook knew anything about himself, it would most likely have to do with the fact that he was extremely stubborn and persistent, much to the disappointment of the adults in his life. 

So he continued. He continued reaching his dreams, joining every music-related activity he could at his age until he finally met Mr. Park.

Mr. Park was a bright man who came in one day as a replacement for their music teacher, who was an old lady who stuck to the classics and had a somewhat deceiving grading system. He came into class with disheveled hair, an unkempt tie, and when he turned around to write his name on the board, the whole class laughed as they could see his heart print underpants peeking through. 

But despite his clumsiness and seemingly carefree nature, Mr. Park was a master at his craft. He was the epitome of what a music teacher should be; exceptionally skilled, eloquent, and passionate about what he did. But Mr. Park had another talent that not many knew about, which was the eye for potential.

And Mr. Park saw potential in Jungkook.

He had taken Jungkook under his wing and taught him the ropes of music life. The keys of the piano, how notes were read, how symphonies were made. And the more Jungkook learned, the more he yearned for a life surrounding music. When he voiced his wishes to Mr. Park, expecting to receive the same rejection he had always known, he was pleasantly surprised to find out that he had his support.

Mr. Park was the very first person who saw that Jungkook could have a future in music. He was the very first person who showed Jungkook that there was a path for him to take that was far better than the path his parents laid out for him. A rocky path filled with trials and tribulations but ultimately reaped great rewards in the end. 

Like a moth drawn to its flame, Jungkook was attracted to the seemingly devastating path because somehow, amid the darkness, there was hope. Hope for a happier future, a future that wasn’t filled with regret and mourning but full of triumph and satisfaction. Jungkook would be a fool not to pursue the latter.

And thus, in hopes of finally seeing the light, Jungkook decided to start his own band. 

It didn’t start off right away, though. After all, no kid at his school wanted to be part of a band that, in the eyes of their parents, was a complete waste of time. Jungkook kept his small dream hidden deep within his heart, yet even so, it still burned with an unyielding passion. Even if years passed and no opportunity for him to start a band was in sight, Jungkook didn’t give up, knowing that his persistence would one day reap great rewards.

And finally, his chance came in the form of you. 

From the very beginning, Jungkook had always thought you were strange. In a prestigious school known for being the epitome of perfection and class, you were the odd one out, sticking out like a sore thumb with your disheveled appearance and undignified manner of carrying yourself. Almost immediately, you were set to be the outcast, ridiculed by your peers for your looks and mannerisms, even if, in Jungkook’s opinion, you weren’t doing anything out of the ordinary.

Unfortunately, the world is never kind to those who are different. 

Jungkook’s phone rings from where it is laid on his bedside table, the alarm blaring loudly, causing a shift in the once serene atmosphere of his apartment. Jungkook pays it no mind at first, choosing to finish drying his hair before finally picking up the phone, voice groggy and slightly annoyed from having his peaceful morning interrupted.

“Who is it?” He hastily asks, not meaning to sound as harsh. But could he really be blamed when it was 7 AM in the morning, and he wasn’t expected to show up to any scheduled event until noon?

“Jungkook!” An exasperated voice exclaims from the other side of his phone. It was Namjoon, his manager, Jungkook, quickly concludes. Although it was rare for him to call so early in the morning, especially in such a panicked state. Perhaps he forgot to inform him of a schedule? Although that was annoying, Jungkook wouldn’t really mind. After all, work made money. But if that were the case, it would have been odd for Namjoon to be so panicked about it. The man was known for being reasonably level-headed even in times of extreme stress, so perhaps it was something else entirely. 

“Did you read the news?” Namjoon quickly adds before Jungkook could ask what was wrong. At his question, Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, quickly sitting down on the side of his bed and grabbing his iPad from the same bedside desk, unplugging the charger along the way. 

“No,” he says as he types up the password into the Home Screen, laying his phone in between the juncture of his shoulder and ear. “Is there something I should be concerned about? I mean, it’s not like I got into a scandal or anything, right?”

Wrong.

Well, partly.

The moment Jungkook opens his Twitter, he’s surprised to see more notifications than usual. Of course, it was a given for him to have a ghastly amount of notifications as a celebrity. He did have a large fan base, after all. But the numbers on his screen far exceeded that of what he was used to, and amongst those notifications tagging his account, one article stood out amongst the rest, and the headline made his blood run cold.

“What the fuck?” He whispers, staring at the article in shock as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. “Am I seeing this right, Namjoon?”

The man on the other side of the phone is silent for a while before Jungkook hears a sigh. “Unfortunately, yes,” Namjoon says, and Jungkook can almost imagine the way he’s probably rubbing his temples together while sipping his cup of black coffee in his office out of stress and frustration

“(Y/N) is back,” he says, causing shivers to run down Jungkook’s spine. “And apparently Jungkook, she wrote a song about you.”

 The day Jungkook finally mustered up the courage to talk to you for the first time was an experience, to say the least. For what felt like years, albeit it was only a few days, Jungkook had been observing you from the sidelines, watching as you were berated by his classmates, who apparently had nothing better to do with their time. 

A part of Jungkook always felt guilty for never standing up for you. He knew you needed a friend. Someone to confide in this hellish school that made it seem as if it were every man for himself. But he was a coward, raised and molded to never take a step outside the boundaries he had set for himself, like a doll.

Although, with Mr. Park's influence, Jungkook could finally break free from his shell, even if it were just a mere few steps. 

"Here," he says nervously, handing you a carton of banana milk that he had picked up from the nearest vending machine the moment he saw you storm out of the classroom in tears. Even then, your classmates had laughed, mocking how sensitive you were, which disgusted Jungkook. Didn't they have any ounce of shame for making a person cry like that?

You look up from where you sat on the school's staircase, eyes puffy from crying so hard, a stream of tears still flowing down your face. You looked like an absolute mess, and the sight only caused Jungkook's heart to clench even more. He sat beside you, albeit a bit distanced because he couldn't help but feel awkward. This was your first conversation, after all. 

You stare at him, not entirely understanding why he would extend kindness towards you. Was this a trick of fate? Was he doing this so you would someday do his bidding in the future? The kids of this school were scary, even scarier than the monsters that hid underneath your bed or the creatures that roamed around in the dead of night. Even amidst the light, they scared you, and you were terrified that the man offering you some banana milk would be just the same. 

"You don't have to take it if you don't want to," Jungkook says, after realizing you were staring at him warily, cautious over whether or not you would accept his gift. "Sweets always cheered me up whenever I feel down, and I thought maybe it would cheer you up too!" 

If anyone were to see your interaction, they would have burst out laughing from how awkward it was. You who were wary and cautious, and Jungkook who was awkward and shy. A stark difference between your usual timid behavior and Jungkook's confident act. In fact, if anyone else were to see this, they would have never believed their eyes. 

It was odd, after all. And you knew this very well. Which was why you were so confused at Jungkook's behavior. Why was he approaching you so kindly when everyone else ridiculed and shunned you out? You were different, someone who didn't deserve to be there. An imposter, an intruder. It didn't make sense for him to act friendly. 

"Don't take this the wrong way," Jungkook continues, setting down the banana milk in the space between the two of you as he fiddled with his fingers, a habit he had picked up over time. "I'm not doing this to mock you or make fun of you later down the line… I just really don't like the way they're treating you. It's not right."

You're stunned. Rightfully so. This was the first time someone had ever gone against what others did to you, despite him doing so behind the scenes. A weird sensation bubbles up from inside you, one you can't quite place. But what you do know is that amidst it all, there's warmth. Jungkook's words sounded genuine and sincere, not like the usual condescending tone you were used to hearing from the rest of your peers. 

He genuinely seemed to care. 

Jungkook's eyes widen in surprise when he sees you grab the carton of banana milk, opening the straw in pushing it through, taking a sip. You sheepishly stare down, not even bothering to look Jungkook in the eye before muttering. "I prefer strawberry milk… but this isn't that bad... I guess… Thanks…" 

His eyes gleam, happy that you've accepted his offering and watching with a content smile as a small smile of your own forms on your lips, a far cry from the mess you were mere moments ago. He had somehow managed to cheer you up, and that was better than anything Jungkook could ever ask for. 

"No problem. Next time I'll buy you a whole box of strawberry milk!" He exclaims, excited for what was about to unfold between the two of you. 

But he would have never expected this. 

And on this week's celebrity news: Former Vocalist of The 97, (L/N) (Y/N) debuts solo with her new single 'Move On', which fans speculate is a direct message to her ex-boyfriend and former bandmate Jeon Jungkook. 

"Fuck!" Jungkook exclaims, overcome with emotion, as he watches the news unfold in the conference room of his label. He had quickly made his way over the moment he saw the headline, confused, devastated, and most of all angry. 

What in the world were you thinking, dragging him down like that?

"Jungkook, calm down," Namjoon says from the other side of the room, trying to prevent Jungkook from destroying the room. Jungkook was strong. And if he really wanted to, he could turn the whole conference room upside down in a blink of an eye, and Namjoon really didn't want to deal with whatever consequence would follow should Jungkook actually decide that he'd destroy the conference room. 

"How the fuck do you expect me to be calm, Namjoon?" Jungkook asks, exasperated as he walks from one end of the room to the other. "This is going to ruin my fucking reputation. And it's all because that bitch is too bitter about our breakup that she decided to fucking write a song about it."

"Hey." Another voice calls out, stern and ready to scold. Jaehyun, the band's bassist, glares at Jungkook with as much disdain as he could muster, not believing the words that came out of Jungkook's mouth. "No matter how you feel about the situation. I'm not going to stand by and let you call (Y/N) a bitch. She was and still is our friend. Just because you're so caught up in your perfect reputation doesn't mean you have to bring others down in the process, Jeon." 

It was rare for Jaehyun to ever call Jungkook by his last name. The two were as close as could be, having been the best of friends for more than ten years and counting. Jungkook knew he could trust Jaehyun with his life and vice versa, so it shocked him to hear that his best friend was defending her. 

"But Jungkook has every reason to be mad, Jaehyun!" Another voice pops up, this time a more feminine one that has Jungkook's heart-melting just a bit. Eunha, his current girlfriend, and the one who was there for him when you left him. She was the band's current vocalist, and Jungkook couldn't feel any more grateful to have someone as supportive as her in his life.

"She's using a personal situation to make her more popular, all the while bringing us down in the process! There's nothing else to call her but a bitch when she's hurting the band she started with! Is that how she says thank you when the band's been nothing but good to her?

It's incredible, Jungkook thinks to himself, how he was able to find someone like Eunha. She was the most compassionate and understanding person in the world, a far cry from what you had become. Bitter, selfish, and downright ungrateful. You probably wrote that song out of spite just to get back at him when he did nothing wrong in the first place. You were crazy, and he was glad Eunha allowed him to see through all of your lies. 

"Shut the fuck up, will you?" Jungkook's eyes darted in surprise to Yugyeom, the band's drummer, who had just cursed at his girlfriend. He glares at the drummer, mad at the fact that the usual happy-go-lucky man was now acting bitter in front of his girlfriend, who had done nothing wrong. Were his bandmates woven that deep within your cruel lies?

"Excuse me, what did you just say?" Eunha asks, appalled, tears forming from the corners of her eyes, which only causes the anger within Jungkook to grow. How dare they. How dare they make Eunha cry when she was doing nothing but telling the truth?

"You heard me, Eunha," Yugyeom continues, paying no mind to the burning rage that was about to burst within Jungkook. "I said shut the fuck up. So what if (Y/N) wrote a song about Jungkook? Why does it matter? She has every right to. I mean, our next single is literally a song Jungkook wrote after the breakup, so why the fuck are you berating her for doing the same?"

"Because she's hurting our reputation!" Eunha exclaims, clearly frustrated at how Yugyeom and Jaehyun weren't getting her point. "And besides, she was the one in the wrong during the breakup. What right does she have to make a song about it?"

Jaehyun scoffs, glare intensifying, causing Jungkook to clench his fist at their hostility. "And how do you know that when you only heard Jungkook's side of the story and not (Y/N) 's? For all we know, Jungkook could also be in the wro—"

Before Jaehyun could finish his sentence, Jungkook explodes, immediately rushing over to where Jaehyun sat and grabbing him by the collar, causing the rest of the band and Namjoon to panic, trying to break them apart, while Eunha watches, scared. 

"You motherfucker," Jungkook curses, hand raised into a fist, ready to punch Jaehyun in the face with all the force he could muster. But before he could do so, Namjoon and Yugyeom immediately held him back, causing Jaehyun to let out shaky breaths as he glared at Jungkook, hurt, confused, and angry. "Why are you defending her? She was the one who hurt me! You're supposed to be my fucking best friend!"

"Maybe if you actually listened to what she had to say and what she was going through, then we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place," Jaehyun screamed back, anger slowly growing as each moment passed by. "You've always been like this Jungkook, self-centered and fucking mean. (Y/N) was right for wanting to leave."

"What did you say, you fucki—"

"Enough!" Namjoon screams, holding his ground. This had gotten out of hand, and it was beginning to stress him out, and clearly, that same stress was spreading through every single person in the room. This wasn't even supposed to be that big of a deal. All they were supposed to do was listen to the song you wrote, and come up with a statement, So why the hell did this turn into a full-blown fight?

Gosh, Namjoon needed a raise. 

"Jeon Jungkook calm the fuck down, or I'll have you on probation, you hear? The same goes for all of you. I don't want to hear any bullshit about who's right or wrong in the relationship. All I need is for us to listen to the song and figure out what we're going to tell the higher-ups. So stop acting like you're a bunch of teenagers and sit down."

Usually, Namjoon wasn't this scary. But there was a glint in his eyes that taunted the band. And they knew that in the heat of the moment, the best thing to do was to shut up and listen. Besides, he was right. The way they were going, no progress would have been made, leading to further complications. With a huff, Jungkook sits down, staring grumpily into space. He wasn't comfortable with what had just occurred, a frenzy of emotions bottling up inside him from the outburst.

Luckily for him, Eunha was quick to hold his hand into hers, soothing him enough to calm his nerves and mentally prepare himself for what was about to unfold. Because he knew he wasn't going to like it.

And true to his words, the moment Namjoon pressed play, he didn't like it. Not one bit. 

Jungkook couldn't quite pin why your song made his blood boil and heart clench. From an outsider's perspective, it was a good song. A really good song. As a musician himself, Jungkook would never deny that. You had a knack for creating some really great tunes that were out of this world, after all. It was the very thing that made him ask you to start a band with him in the first place. 

But there was just something about this piece in particular that seemed different. Your very aura was different, Jungkook concluded as he watched the video, listening to the way you screamed about how good it was that he was able to move on while you haven't. How you laced memories and fragments of your relationship and expertly wove them together to create a masterpiece that echoed into the very depths of his beating heart. 

It left a bitter taste in his mouth. Because amidst the chaos, you looked free. 

There was something beautiful about the way you were in the middle of a room up in flames, almost to the point where Jungkook knew that it was metaphorical. You liked metaphors. Jungkook remembers how long ago, when the band was just the two of you, you mentioned how metaphors brought out the beauty of the world. They made the ordinary extraordinary. They made the dull come to life. Metaphors were beauty itself, and that's precisely why you loved to play with them so much. 

It's funny to see how that part of you hadn't changed, even after how many years. 

"Jungkook?" Eunha calls out to him, a concerned look gracing over her face. "You okay?" 

Honestly speaking, Jungkook didn't know. The high of his anger had finally settled, and all Jungkook felt was a burning numbness scouring through his veins. It's laughable how mere hours ago, Jungkook was sure that today would be another great day to celebrate how amazing his life was. Yet, here he is, in the middle of a conference room, watching as you submerged yourself underwater at the last scene of your music video, feeling empty. 

He doesn't directly answer Eunha, afraid that if he were to say anything, unwanted words would slip from his lips, and he would unleash another round of chaos and hell. And he was too mentally exhausted to go through that again. So he merely nods, clasping Eunha's hand gently and sighing as Namjoon pauses the video, turning towards the group. 

"Well," Namjoon says, surveying the room to see the band's reactions. But who was he kidding? He knew damn well that the band wasn't nearly overjoyed seeing and hearing what their old friend had to say, especially Jungkook. The poor kid looked lost. "That's that. It looks too vague to be considered a song catered to Jungkook, so I'll inform the higher-ups that it has nothing to do wi--"

Suddenly, Jungkook stands up, causing a deafening silence to befall once more as everyone watches him with cautious eyes, afraid of what he was about to do. 

"I'm going to get a drink," is all he says, moving to head out the door. No one really says anything in protest, Yugyeom and Jaehyun still feeling the aftermath of the previous fight. Only Eunha seemed to be visibly bothered, scoffing at the rest of the team's reactions before quickly latching on to Jungkook's arm. 

"Babe, it's still early in the morning. At least let me accompany you?" She asks, that hopeful glint burning brightly in her eyes, to the point that it makes Jaehyun recline back in his seat uncomfortably, not liking the way she seemed so unnatural. You were never like that. And while Jaehyun knew it was wrong to make comparisons, he couldn't help it. 

You were his best friend just as much as Jungkook was. 

"I'll go alone," is all Jungkook whispers, shrugging Eunha off who is about to protest, but Namjoon is quick to shut her up with a gentle hand on her shoulder, shaking his head when she tries to chase after him. Jungkook needed to settle down and sort his thoughts through if he ever wanted a chance at getting through this situation with you. 

And maybe, just maybe, he could finally make amends. 

“Do you have a dream?”

This was the question that started it all, Jungkook supposed. He remembers the very day you asked him that one decisive question that, looking back, changed both of your lives. For good or for worse, Jungkook wasn’t sure. But as he reminisces the memories of the past and tries to figure out where everything went wrong, he couldn’t help the gut-wrenching feeling that settles within him. It’s so upsetting, in fact, that the moment Jungkook arrives in the pub across the street, he immediately drowns himself in a bottle of soju. 

The two of you were spending the lunch break in the empty stairwell, the same place where the two of you first met and the same place where the two of you gradually started to hang out. It was a quiet space, free from the condescending eyes of the perfection-seeking kids you called classmates. It was a space where you and Jungkook could be free, even for just a little while. 

Sipping on his banana milk, Jungkook looks at you curiously. You were staring at the strawberry milk he had bought you, fiddling with it nervously, not even bothering to look him in the eye. He wonders what goes on through your mind, what thoughts dance around within its hollow crevices, shaking you up and causing you to become a nervous wreck. Especially when the question wasn’t as bad as you were probably thinking. 

“Hmm, do you want the honest answer or the answer everyone wants to hear?” He asks back, looking up at the ceiling. For an elite school, they didn’t do well to maintain the more hidden areas. Was that a sign that they really didn’t care about things that weren’t relevant to them? Maybe. Maybe not. Jungkook didn’t particularly care. It was just more bearable t stare at the ceiling than sit in awkward silence, 

“Honest,” you say after a few moments, much more confident than a few moments ago. After hanging out with you for a few months and observing you within the silence of your conversations, Jungkook somehow knows that no matter what he’d do, you would forever be shy. Regardless if you knew someone well or not, the first moments of conversation would always be parallel to a first meeting. It was a curious thing, honestly. But it was more intriguing once he realized that your confidence grew the more you spoke. 

In a way, it was kind of cute. 

“I wanna make music,” Jungkook says after snapping himself out of his trance. He once again averts his gaze from yours, but this time it wasn’t to avoid silence, but rather to think, to immerse himself in his thoughts. Because this was the first time, someone had asked him what he truly wanted to do with life. The first time someone wanted an honest answer from him, not a polished response set up to please his parents and peers. 

“Not the classical kind, though,” he continues, smiling softly to himself. “Not really fond of it as much as you think.” From the corner of his eyes, Jungkook can see you gaping at him in surprise, and it causes him to chuckle. You were never really expressive beyond the weary walls of the seemingly abandoned stairwell. To the rest of the student body, you were expressionless. Someone who took all the beatings and ridicules with a blank face. As if you were a doll, waiting to be ruined. 

But here, you were much more alive. Much more expressive than Jungkook was used to seeing. It was as if the (Y/N) beyond the worn steps of the stairwell was an entirely different person. A mask you placed upon yourself to protect your heart from the cruel reality you had come to face. And Jungkook was more than fascinated at the fact that you had brought that mask down for him. 

“If I could, I’d do rock, maybe even some metal If I got enough courage,” he continues, smiling to himself unknowingly giddy at the sight of you. “There’s just something different about it, you know? The music runs through your system and gets you all hyped up; you just can’t resist it. And when the beat drops, it’s as if your emotions are on an all-time high, and it weirdly makes you kind of free. It made me realize that this was what music was supposed to be, I guess.”

“Wow,” you mutter, after staying within the silence of your initial awe. “That’s... poetic.” Jungkook laughs at the look of disbelief in his face, shooting his empty carton of banana milk in the air and watching in satisfaction as it lands straight into the empty trash can just right down the corner before turning to you, a grin high on his lips. 

“Oh, come on,” he whines, rolling his eyes playfully. “Why do you sound so surprised? Do I not look like I’d be a good musician?”

“It’s not that!” You quickly exclaim in your defense, flailing your arms in the air to avert Jungkook’s thoughts about the situation. Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook was only joking, highly amused at your reactions, wanting to see more. “I just assumed you’d be more into sports, you know, since you’re so good at it? If you ask me, you kind of look like you’d do well in either football or basketball… so I just kind of assumed that was what you wanted to actually pursue. Not that wanting to pursue music is a bad thing! It’s great, it’s just that rock is kind of unexpected....” 

You were beginning to ramble at this point, the shy sheep from within you bursting forth as you fiddled with your thumbs nervously, anxious to see Jungkook’s reaction. Would he be mad at you for assuming things about him off the bat? Probably not, right? You did initiate the conversation by asking him what his dream was, after all. Wait, maybe this was your fault. Gosh, you should have just asked any other question that wasn’t as deep. 

This friendship thing was too difficult for your liking. 

As you bury yourself in your thoughts, Jungkook couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. It was small at first, almost going unheard by you who was so deeply consumed by the matters of your mind, but the more Jungkook laughed, the louder he got until he was full-on cackling, much to your dismay, confusion, and shock. 

“What’s so funny?” You ask frantically, trying to make sense of his actions. Did you say something wrong? As far as you knew, you hadn’t, but what if you had and accidentally crossed the line? You hoped not. You really didn’t want to screw any chance you had at having a real, genuine friend. But to your dismay, your questions remain unanswered as Jungkook continues to laugh, almost as if he wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon. 

“Hey!” You exclaim, pouting. “Stop laughing at me, Jungkook!”

“I-i’m sorry,” He says after a few more laughs, trying to wipe the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes. “I couldn’t help it,” He laughs again, although this time, it seems as if he’s calmed down, sporting a cheeky smile. “Your reactions are just something else!”

Jungkook watches as you become flustered, once more, much to his fascination and amusement. He’s never been the teasing type, or more like, he’s never had the opportunity to become the teasing type, especially with the perfect image he had to curate in front of his peers. But he liked this. He liked being friends with you. It made him all the more free. 

“What about you?” He suddenly asks after a while, feeling that it was high time to cut you some slack. You look up at him in confusion as if you had entirely forgotten why this entire conversation had happened in the first place. “Do you have a dream?”

It’s silent, yet this time, Jungkook notes, the silence is uncanny. It’s not the same comfortable silence that Jungkook is used to whenever he was hanging out with you. It was as if the silence had suddenly crashed down and enveloped the cheery atmosphere in its deceitful arms. A trap, if you will. 

And Jungkook was unsure whether he wanted to break free from it or stay there with you. 

But you take the first step, finally looking up to meet him in the eyes, and Jungkook can feel his heart sink just a tad bit from how empty and solemn they were. “I don’t think so,” is all you say, brushing off the concerned look on Jungkook’s face with a smile. “I’ve never really given it much thought. That’s why I asked,” you chuckle halfheartedly, staring up at the ceiling. “Although I think it would be nice,” you say, smiling a bit more genuinely. “You know, to have a dream?”

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say. How was he supposed to react to that, anyway? No matter how difficult his life was, he had always had a dream. It kept him going, made him push through no matter the difficulty. Dreams were the driving force of life. The hope amidst the darkness. To not have a dream, even just a small one, rattled Jungkook. 

It terrified him because now Jungkook realized that he knew nothing about you despite you being his first friend. He didn’t know the reason why you decided to become a living doll in the eyes of others. He didn’t understand why you subjected yourself to such suffering when, from the small talks you and Jungkook had with each other, you seemed to have a loving family. 

He wanted to help you, to be there for you. Because he wasn’t sure whether or not you were actually feeling lost. That’s what friends were for, right? Jungkook wasn’t exactly sure on how to do this whole friendship thing, but if there was one thing he did know, it was the fact that friends helped each other. 

And Jungkook would be damned if he couldn’t help you in any way that he could.

Soju bottles littered the lone table that Jungkook sat upon. At this point, he wasn’t sure how many bottles he had drunk, but it sure was many, more than he could handle if he were, to be honest, but amidst his drunken state, he just couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

Why was he acting like this anyway? 

He was supposed to be happy. His band was one of the most successful ones out there. He had thousands, if not millions of fans, who supported him in everything he did. So why, just why was this insignificant matter affecting him so greatly?

Was it because it was you?

“Dear, are you alright?” The old woman, running the pub asks, concerned as she sets down a piping hot bowl of warm hangover soup, which has Jungkook’s mouth watering to the point where drool almost seeps out, mainly because he only had a bite of a sandwich on his way to the office which Eunha forcibly made him eat. But even so, he couldn’t bring himself to eat, especially with the array of emotions that were burning deep within him. “Do you need me to call someone for you?”

Jungkook stays silent, not even bothering to respond to the old lady, who only grows wearier at the lack of response. He didn’t mean to be rude. It was just that he couldn’t find the strength to actually do anything but wallow in his own misery. His thoughts were going on haywire, with no place to land in sight. 

What had he done to deserve this? He was sure he had done nothing wrong, so why were you doing this to him when all he had done was, be nothing but nice to you? He had supported you ever since the beginning, and this was how you repaid him?

He doesn’t notice how the old lady leaves to call someone from the company, despite him not saying anything. It was probably for the best anyway. He was too out of it to even ask for help. The old lady was right and kind for going out of her way to do this for him. Although it made sense, after all, this specific pub was where Jungkook had been drinking ever since he had reached adulthood. 

Maybe she would call Namjoon? It was likely, but Jungkook hoped not. He was sure that if Namjoon were to see his sorry state, he would scold him until his ears bled out. Although he couldn’t really blame Namjoon, if any manager were to see their client drinking away their woes like he was, they would probably freak out. Primarily since he was known for drinking at most two bottles. Jungkook just really didn’t want to deal with Namjoon right now, especially after what had transpired earlier. 

He hoped that she would call Eunha. Sweet, loveable Eunha, who was there for him when the shitshow that was his breakup with you went down. Even until now, Jungkook was still in the dark of why you had left him and the band, but Eunha was the one who stayed by his side. Ever since he had met her two years ago when she first entered the company, they had become the best of friends. And now she was his girlfriend, and he couldn’t be happier. 

All of a sudden, a familiar voice wafts through the empty pub. One that has Jungkook’s head whipping everywhere it could to figure out where it was coming from. It was sweet, melodic even. But at the same time, it had a hint of melancholy and freedom? Why was the voice so familiar? Where had he heard it before? 

Jungkook’s eyes darted around, trying to see if he could spot the culprit behind his dilemma until they finally landed on the wide TV that sat in the middle of the pub, presumably for their customer’s enjoyment. And lo and behold, in his eyes, he sees you. 

It was a local music show where famous stars would often find themselves performing to promote their new music. He assumed you were there to perform your new single, the one song that had him sitting here broken and destroyed with pride in your chest. Did you enjoy this?

Did you enjoy knowing that he was broken because of you?

He hated it. He hated how bright your smile was the moment he caught sight of the camera focusing on you as the hosts began their interview. You were brilliant, cheery, happy. And it sickened Jungkook to the core. Why did it seem like you were doing fine when he was here all bothered? How selfish could you possibly be? 

But as much as it hurts him, he can’t find it in himself to look away. It’s a strange sensation that Jungkook couldn’t quite explain. Why couldn’t he avert his eyes from you when all he’s been feeling today was pain? It didn’t make sense. But honestly, Jungkook couldn’t tell what made sense anymore. 

He watches you sing, hearing those blasted lyrics that made him rage just mere moments ago. Yet, this time, the lyrics made his heart clench. Perhaps it was the fact that your performance seemed more genuine because you were singing live. But why? Why were you singing those lyrics as if they had genuinely happened to you? Jungkook never caused you any pain, so why did it seem as if you were hurting more than him? 

The thoughts were too much. It was driving Jungkook crazy, and all he wanted to do was drown in them. He didn’t want to think. Thinking heightened the pain that brimmed deep within his chest. He just wanted to float in the ocean of his misery and stay there, hoping that someday he would land ashore and the pain would come to an end. 

Maybe if he took one more shot, it would help? 

He pours down the last remaining soju into his shot glass, not caring if it overflowed and spilled out on the table. Rationality was far out of his mind at this point. All Jungkook wanted to do was do anything that would make him feel numb. 

He raises the glass shakily, ready to feel the burning sensation of the alcohol run down his throat, that temporary relief that made him sink deep down into this endless cycle of emptiness. Yet, it doesn’t happen. 

A hand shoots down to stop his wrist. It’s a familiar yet unfamiliar hold, something Jungkook can’t quite place. Where has he felt this hold before? He looks up, his eyesight a bit blurry from his drunken state, so he squints, trying to see clearly. 

Who was it? Namjoon? Eunha? Heck, Jaehyun?

Turns out it was none of them. 

When his sight finally clears, he gasps in shock, breath hitching in his throat as he takes it all in. Because the person, whose hold was familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time, wasn’t his manager, nor was it his girlfriend or best friend. 

It was you. 

The person, the old lady, had called to get him was you. 

Well, Jungkook be damned. 

When you got the call from the old lady, you were on your way to your new studio after finishing up a schedule you had prior. The past few weeks have been busy for you. Leaving the band and Jungkook was no easy feat. It was a decision that you knew was a high-risk, high reward yet at the same time had higher chances of failure. 

After all, even if you hated to admit it. Without the band, you had nothing. 

Sure, there was the fame that came with all of the band’s success. You were the vocalist, after all. It was exhilarating knowing that millions out there would be listening to your voice, singing music you created with people you loved dearly. But in the midst of all of that, there was nothing. 

Jungkook, Jaehyun, and Yugyeom had everything going on for them. A backup plan in case the band didn’t succeed. A plan B, if you will. It made sense. They had privilege dripping from the palms of their hand, after all. Even if they had their own troubles and doubts, they didn’t have to worry about finding another way out because there already was a path laid out for them in the beginning. 

You went into all of this, risking everything. 

It was a choice that you had seemingly made on impulse if an outsider were to look back at the situation. When Jungkook had asked you to start a band with him, it was during another one of your many lunch dates, as you two had jokingly called it. Only this time, the two of you weren’t sitting on the cold and empty stairwell, but instead, you were in the old music room. 

“I can’t believe this,” Jungkook mumbles to himself as he cranks the rusted door of the old music room open. People barely used it nowadays, much to his disbelief yet relief at the same time. He couldn’t blame them though, the brand new music room was much more enchanting, filled with top-of-the-grade musical instruments than anyone would drool over. 

Well, at least it meant that he could have autonomy over the room (even though that wasn’t really the case). “You’re telling me that you never heard rock or metal before?” He gapes in disbelief as he sits on one of the dusty desks, looking at you with an outraged expression. You sheepishly enter behind him, taking a sip of your drink as you took a seat beside him. 

“You never asked,” is all you say, shrugging. Jungkook looks at you once more incredulously, as if he couldn’t believe his eyes and ears. “That’s because I assumed you would have known what rock and metal are! They’re like the greatest music genres of all time. How can you not know it?”

You shrug once more, not really having an answer. Well, you did, but it was probably stupid. After all, if this was his reaction to you not knowing about rock and metal. What would his response be if he were to find out that the only music you’d ever listened to was classical and nursery rhymes? Yeah, probably not a good idea. 

“Well, get ready then,” he exclaims, bringing out his phone, much to your surprise. Model student and Mr. Perfect Jeon Jungkook breaking a school rule? Who would have thought that you’d ever lived to see the day? “Because you’re about to experience an awakening, I tell you. A revolution!”

It’s amusing, really. You had never seen Jungkook as passionate as he was at the moment. Was this what it was like to have a dream? His eyes lit up as if sparkles were floating around him. As if he were about to step on cloud nine and enter paradise. He was bouncing his leg lightly in excitement, a goofy smile on his face that kind of reminded you of a bunny. 

Maybe having a dream wouldn’t be so bad, after all. 

He immediately scoots over to you once he has his phone ready, grabbing his earphones and plugging it into his phone, handing you the other ear. You hold it, a small smile on your face, and hook it unto your ear, not really knowing what to expect but excited all the same. After all, this was the music that made your best friend passionate and hopeful for the future. For sure, it wouldn’t be bad, right? 

Well, to say the least, it was an experience. An experience you couldn’t quite tell if you enjoyed or couldn’t fathom. It was entirely different from the music that you were used to. From the bright and soothing tones came ones that were heavy and thundered on your ears. Yet, in a way, it was exhilarating. 

You could see why Jungkook was attracted to this style of music. In a way, it was unhinged, a little more rebellious than the traditional types of music you were used to. But that didn’t mean it was worse. In fact, that’s what made it more exciting. Jungkook was right. In those few minutes that he had introduced you to the world of rock, you’ve gone through an array of emotions, from confusion to thrill and excitement of the highest level. The rollercoaster of new sensations was, to say the least, intoxicating, 

Because immediately you got hooked. 

“Wow,” you mutter, looking up at Jungkook, who was looking back at you with lively eyes. “That was… something else.” 

“Right?!” He exclaims, immediately jumping off the desk to grasp your hands in excitement; it was endearing to see. Jungkook rarely got riled up like this. Music truly brought out the best in him, you thought to yourself, watching as he continued to dangle your hands in his. “Isn’t rock just amazing? Oh, what I’d do to pick up an electric guitar and play,” He sighs, and you can tell from the far-away look on his face that he’s daydreaming about something and the sight warms your heart. 

“You should,” is all you say, startling Jungkook out of his trance. “I think you’d do absolutely great in music, Jungkook! You should go for it.” Jungkook looks at you, stunned. He blinks, trying to process what you had just said, before clasping your fingers a bit tighter, unsure of himself. 

“Really?” He mutters softly, “You really think I can do it?”

“Of course,” you encourage with a bright smile. “If it’s you, then you can do anything!”

It’s silent for a moment, with Jungkook deep in thought. But you don’t necessarily mind, as more than anything, you understood the weight of your words. Being Jungkook’s friend meant that you stuck by him through a lot of undesirable moments, moments that both of you promised to never speak of unless it was absolutely necessary. 

You knew how much he longed for his dreams. Ever since that rather inspiring conversation you had around a week ago, you knew just how much Jungkook bottled up his true passions and desires, even though there were moments wherein he would freely let them out. 

“Then you have to be there with me,” he says, eyes filled with determination. “I don’t think I can do this without you (Y/N).”

Looking back at it, you chuckle at how swooned you were with Jungkook’s words. It was crazy to think that he had swept you off your feet with a mere ten words that ultimately decided the course of a good chunk of your life. You let him, and for that, you were to blame, But that didn’t necessarily mean that you regretted your decision in its entirety. 

Suddenly, your phone rings from beside you, and you grab it from where it lay in your purse, only to see an old number that you hadn’t seen in a while. It’s been a year, you think, as you accept the call, pressing your phone to your ear. “Hello?”

“(Y/N) dear! It’s been such a long time!” You smile at the cheery sound present within the old lady’s voice, although you can’t deny that you hear a twinge of worry within it. You used to go to her pub every so often back when you were still in the band. And the old lady had been such a sweet soul, acting as some sort of parental figure to you and your bandmates through the years. 

“It’s good to hear from you again,” you mutter, pleasantly surprised at her sudden call but also a bit suspicious because you had no idea what she was calling for. “May I ask why you’re calling me?”

“Ah!” The old lady exclaims, and suddenly the initial chirp present within her fades into a frantic tone that has your eyebrows furrowing in confusion, not sure what to expect. “Do you mind picking up your boyfriend?”

You blink, confused and startled. “I’m sorry,” you say, still not processing it clearly. “What was that?”

You hear a sigh from the other side of the phone. It sounds tiring, exasperated even, Which shouldn’t be the case since the pub usually opens up later at night. It was only open during the day for company employees. And what sane person would cause trouble with this much sunlight out? 

“Your boyfriend dear,” the old lady continues, sounding absolutely done, yet at the same time, the concern was still there, and you swear you hear the sound of glass falling in the back, causing your eyebrows to furrow in worry. “He’s been drinking for hours, and this is more than he’s ever drunk!”

You stay silent, letting it all sink in. The only person she could have possibly been referring to was Jungkook. There was no doubt about that. After all, the old lady’s pub was where you and Jungkook would often find yourselves having late-night rendezvous, drinking the night away as you bonded over whatever life was throwing at you within those moments. 

But now, the pub gave you nothing but pain. 

“Grandma, I’m sorry to tell you this, but me and Jungkook aren’t—”

“—So you’ll come, yes? Thank you, dear! Truly a lifesaver!” 

She hangs up. You stare at your phone in disbelief, shocked at the predicament you had unknowingly gotten yourself into. What were you supposed to do now? The responsible thing to do was to probably phone Namjoon and tell him about the situation. But with what had just transpired earlier today with the release of your single last night and your performance this morning, you’re not so sure he would appreciate any sort of contact from you. 

With a sigh, you turn to head towards the pub. No matter how much you hated Jungkook for the way he treated you within the last few stages of your relationship, you couldn’t leave him alone to wallow in his misery (even though there was a part of you that was secretly glad that he was torn because of you). It would be too cruel of you. Especially considering that Jungkook had been a significant part of your life. 

Huh, guess you haven’t moved on as much as you thought you had. 

Even just reaching the pub brought back memories that you wish wouldn’t resurface. You and Jungkook used to wrestle over who would open the door for the other, and more often than not, Jungkook won. But you weren’t one to lose quickly, even to him. 

The familiar jingle that came with opening the door brought a pang of nostalgia to your heart. When you and Jungkook would enter the pub, just ten seconds after the jingle faded away, the old lady would come out of her quaint kitchen and say

“Welcome home— Oh, there you are, dear!”

Not exactly how you remembered it, but it was still familiar all the same. 

“Hello grandma, how are you?” You greet with a solemn smile, watching with fond eyes as the old lady comes up to clasp your hands within her own. “Oh dear, I haven’t seen you in forever. Why haven’t you visited in so long?” 

You’re not sure what to say. How are you supposed to tell her that you left and broke up with the man she asked you to pick up? That would put her in an awkward position, and you didn’t want to cause stress for the already weary lady. 

“Oh, never mind that,” she says, luckily dropping the subject. “Come in, come in, your boyfriend’s over there drinking in the corner. Did something happen? I’ve honestly never seen him drink this much before. At this rate, he’s going to finish my soju supply before I open up for the night!” 

You enter the main area, and immediately you’re hit with the familiar, comforting scent of alcohol and home-cooked meals, as odd as it sounds. Although the smell of alcohol was by far heavier in the air, and as you turn to look for the source, your eyes land in Jungkook.

And you’re, for lack of a better word, shocked.

It was almost as if he was drowning in an ocean of soju bottles, with some of the alcohol dripping off the table and into the ground or his clothes. Partly because he was pouring himself another shot, which you know he can’t take.

He could barely handle two bottles when the two of you were dating, so why did it feel like he was drinking more than ten. If he wasn’t stopped now, something majorly damaging could happen to him, and as much as you never wanted to speak to him, you couldn’t just ignore him when he was literally on the brink of life and death.

You stomp on over to where he’s at, hastily quickening your steps as he’s about to down his last shot, and before you can even think about what to do, your instincts act on their own, and your hand reaches out to him, stopping him.

No words are spoken. Rather, you can’t find the words to say as you watch with solemn eyes as Jungkook looks at his hand confused. He tries to shake it, to move his arm so he can bring the shot glass to his lips, but you remain firm in your grip, clasping just a bit harder so he wouldn’t push through with the shot. 

He looks around, following the trail left by your grasp until he meets your eyes, and already you can feel the whirlwind of emotions bubbling up inside you. This was the first time you and Jungkook have met after the breakup after leaving the band. You never expected the two of you to meet this way. Although, you supposed life was funny like that. It liked to throw unexpected situations in your face, especially in the most inappropriate times.

You watch as he squints, trying to make sense of who you were before he gasps, arm slacking, falling into the side as the alcohol from the shot glass splatters into the air. He squints once more as if trying to ensure that what he was seeing in front of him was real before stammering. 

“(Y/N)?” He whispers, broken, voice breaking. You try not to let your emotions show, knowing that if you do, he’d only lure you back into him, which was something you did not want at all. You were done. After many months, heck years of being torn apart by him, you couldn’t afford any more pain. It would break you even more than it already did, 

“Hey,” you whisper back, breath hitching as you watch the way Jungkook’s eyes widen at the sound of your voice, loud and clear for him to hear. Even with his drunken state, he can’t deny the pang of nostalgia that runs through his veins once he finally registers that it’s you standing before him. In the flesh. Not a vision on TV or a picture of you from his memories. 

It was you. 

“What are you doing here?” He slurs, trying to reach out to you, but you move away, refusing him any form of affection. Because you two were too far gone for that. 

“Grandma called,” is all you say, the disappointed look in Jungkook’s eyes not going unnoticed. “Asked me to pick you up. Said you’ve been drinking more than you used to and… I can see that.”

You gesture to the empty soju bottles that littered the table with a grimace, turning back to Jungkook only to hear him scoff and point a finger to you accusingly, although with his drunken state, his posture was way off. “Who do you think’s to blame?” He asks, sarcasm laced within his tone. You raise an eyebrow at that, choosing to let him continue before you could offer back any sarcastic remark of your own. 

“It’s you!” He continues, slamming his fist to the table, much to your surprise. “You and your stupid fucking song…. I mean, what the fuck is up that?”

“What the fuck is up with what, Jungkook?” You quip back, eyeing his fist cautiously in the case he would do something dangerous that would either injure him, you, or if worse comes to worst, both. 

“Don’t play dumb with me,” He continues, and Jungkook can feel the irritation, frustration, and fatigue build within him now that he’s finally gotten a chance to let all these raging emotions out. “You know what you did! Why’d you do it, huh?” His voice grows louder, causing you to flinch as you move your chair back just a bit. 

“Why’d you have to ruin my fucking reputation?” 

All of a sudden, it’s like something in you snaps. 

You can’t believe it. You can’t believe the audacity Jungkook had to say something as outrageous and stupid as what he just said. The emotions that were already burning up within you finally exploded as you stared at him with all the anger and disbelief you could muster. 

And here you thought he was drinking because he had finally realized all the wrongs he had done to you. What a fool you were. 

“Excuse me?” You say, exasperated. “What did you just fucking say?”

“I said what I said (Y/N),” Jungkook continued, not noticing the way rage was about to take you into its waiting arms, only to allow you to explode upon him with all the pent-up hurt that you’ve accumulated inside you. “You and your fucking song ruined the band any my reputation. Is this how you repay me after everything I’ve done for you?”

You blink. The words slowly make their way towards you as you try to process them, letting out a chuckle at how ridiculous his words were. “Are you being serious right now?” You say, scoffing at how there wasn’t an inch of regret on Jungkook’s face. “You’ve got to be joking, right?”

You want to give him the benefit of the doubt. You want to give him a chance to prove your ears, mind, and heart wrong. That he wasn’t actually thinking those absurd thoughts that had your gut-wrenching and your heartbreaking after already being broken. This couldn’t be the Jungkook that you knew, right? He wouldn’t be this cruel, right? 

“Do I look like I’m joking?” 

“You piece of shit.” You spat without even realizing it, surprising Jungkook. He’s sobered up just a little from your outburst, looking at you like a deer caught in headlights. For a moment, you regret speaking without any thought. But the more you try to rationalize it, the more the anger burns. This was unacceptable. 

“Reputation?” You scoff, looking at him incredulously. “You’re fucking worried about your reputation when there are bigger issues to be addressed here?” 

“(Y/N) I—”

“Shut up, Jungkook,” you say, cutting him off coldly. “You don’t get a say in this when all you’re worried about is your reputation over a broken relationship with someone you’ve grown up with for the past thirteen years!” 

Wide-eyed, Jungkook gapes at you, and you, in your disgruntled state, take this chance to get back at him, unleashing all the feelings you’ve buried deep inside you. 

“You dare ask me why I’m treating you this way when you’ve been nothing but nice to me?” You mock, his words hurting more than they should. “Do you even bother to ask yourself as to why I broke up with you in the first place, Jungkook? Why I left? Did you even bother to listen to my song?” 

His silence echoes throughout the pub, further shattering any lingering hope that you had about the situation. “No,” he says after a while, firm in his belief as he stared back at you, although his gaze seemed as if it could easily water away. “Didn’t think it was necessary; after all I did nothing wro—”

“—You treated me like shit for the last two years of our relationship, Jungkook. That’s what you did wrong.” You exclaim, not wanting to hear his excuses. “Are you really this blind to not know? To not see your own faults?”

How could he? You think to yourself, the unbearable pain of this revelation thrumming through every fibre of your being. It was painful. Painful to hear that he hadn’t even thought about the situation through your lens. He was too absorbed with what he had going for himself that he failed to see the world through your eyes, and it frustrated you to no end.

Because that breakup broke you like no other. 

Choosing to leave wasn’t an easy decision, by no means. You had risked everything to help support Jungkook in hopes that you would find a dream of your own. You joined the band, knowing that you would put your family’s safety and security at risk instead of pursuing a more stable career like starting a business or becoming a doctor.

You became selfish to follow Jungkook, so of course, you were attached. 

Jungkook, in a sense, was your world. You suppose, looking back at it now, that wasn’t the healthiest decision you took for yourself. But at that time, you could not help yourself. He was your first friend, your first love, your first everything. Jungkook showed you the ways of the world and then shattered it without a care. Of course, more than any other breakup, it would tear you apart.

Because to be honest, loving Jungkook made you happy. You remember when he first asked you out. Probably one of the best moments of your entire life. It happened after your band’s first major gig to open up the local summer festival. The two of you were still calming down from the high of the performance, excited, thrilled to have finally been given the opportunity in front of a bigger crowd. It felt surreal seeing the fascinated faces and happy smiles as they listen to your music.

Jungkook was right. This feeling was incredible.

“Holy shit. That was amazing,” Jaehyun laughs, hugging Yugyeom before turning to hug you and Jungkook. “I can’t believe we just did that!” 

“Do you think they liked us?” Yugyeom, ever the timid one asks. “I felt like I made a mistake somewhere along the second cho—“

“—Who cares, man?” Jungkook says, cutting Yugyeom off with a playful slap to the back. “We just fucking performed our first major gig. This isn’t time to be wallowing down on our mistakes. This is a time to celebrate!” 

You and Jaehyun hollered in agreement, following Jungkook as he dragged Yugyeom backstage where the four of you packed up, took a few commemorative pictures, and made your way towards the nearest convenience store to celebrate the night with some good old ramen, ice cream, and whatever your hearts desired.

It was a fun night, one filled with laughter as the four of you joked about whatever your mind could think of. Jungkook boasted about how he was right about their band getting somewhere, of how Jaehyun and Yugyeom, who were much more hesitant in joining the band, and after months of no progress, we’re beginning to regret it, had nothing to worry about. 

Jaehyun and Yugyeom even mustered up the courage to do a speed eating challenge, grabbing about her round of hot piping ramen and racing to see who could eat it the fastest, despite the heat burning their tongues both literally and figuratively.

It was a night where for once, the four of you didn’t have to worry about life outside of the band. Didn’t have to worry about the social pressure from school or home, Didn’t have to worry about stupid tests or becoming the best, for once the four of you could just be yourselves. Unapologetic and free.

When Jaehyun and Yugyeom decided to pack it up and head home, saying that if they didn’t arrive before their dreaded curfew, then their parents would literally send them to the pits of hell, you didn’t notice the way Jungkook grew silent. Maybe you did, but you were too preoccupied with the nauseated looks on Jaehyun and Yugyeom’s faces as they headed towards the public restroom to flush out the ramen in their system. 

“Hey (Y/N)?” Jungkook asks once Jaehyun and Yugyeom are nowhere to be seen. You hum in response, turning to look back at him, and immediately your eyes become overwhelmed with worry at the serious look on his face as he gazes up at the night sky, seemingly nervous and scared.

“Will you go out with me?”

It’s unexpected, a bomb to your heart if you could call it. You gasp the moment the words flow out of his mouth, staring at Jungkook in shock. Did he really just ask you out? 

You think it’s a joke. A cruel trick of nature. But by the way, Jungkook nervously fidgets from where he sits, and his eyes nervously dart around. Like they usually do during nerve-wracking situations like these, you knew in your heart that his words were true.

And you couldn’t be more overjoyed because you had fallen for Jeon Jungkook too. 

Throughout your many years of friendship, you had gotten to know Jungkook inside out. You were there when he threw a mini tantrum over missing first place in the final exam by one point, knowing that his parents would be disappointed in him. You were there when the two of you went out to buy his first-ever electric guitar after months of saving up money secretly. You were there for him when he was convincing Jaehyun and Yugyeom to join the band, even when he was about to get into a fight with Jaehyun over the matter.

And like clockwork, you had fallen.

It wasn’t particularly hard to do so. Jungkook had this certain charm to him, after all. He was an enigma. He could draw people into his rhythm like it was nothing and have them follow to the beat of his own drum. Sometimes you wondered if there was a hidden secret with the way he could so easily attract people, but the more you hung out, the more you realized that wasn’t the case at all. He was genuine in everything he did.

“Yes,” you say without hesitation, causing Jungkook to whip his head to face you in the blink of an eye, mouth slacking in shock. He blinks, you smile, and suddenly a smile of his own is forming on his face, reaching all the way into his eyes. 

“For real?” He whispers, not wanting this moment to slip away from his grasp. He was so close to having you in his arms, something he’s wanted for the longest time, that he was afraid that if he spoke any louder, he would ruin any chance he got. But your reassuring gaze and gentle hold immediately calm the raging wave of anxiety within him. “For real,” you affirm, and suddenly you’re in Jungkook’s embrace. 

It’s a warm embrace, one that has you returning it back with the same vigor, the same excitement bubbling in your chest. This marked the beginning of a new chapter for you and Jungkook, one where the two of you would walk down the unclear path you have chosen, still remaining by each other’s side, but this time, with hands intertwined.

You just wished it didn’t go up into flames like this.

You blink, snapping out of your trance as you gaze at Jungkook. Once more, seeing the way his lips were pursed into a thin line, his brows furrowed as if he had a lot going on through his mind. Which was only fitting. He had to, or else this wave of hurt and pain would only intensify and turn into something you would never be able to control. 

Remembering the happy moments was something you had promised yourself not to do, for it only brought you into another world of pain after looking at how the two of you were faring now. But in the midst of agony staring right at you, you couldn’t help but let yourself reminisce in hopes of relieving some of that anger and hurt so you wouldn’t do anything out of hand. 

“Tell me, Jungkook,” you finally say after a moment of silence, and you want to curse yourself for the way your voice cracks at the end. You had to be strong. You had to get through this. Because there was no way, you were going to let Jungkook ruin you once more. “How do you think our relationship was going within the last two years?”

Silence befalls the room for what feels like the millionth time, But this one is heavier than the last. Jungkook looks at you with such a severe gaze that you almost falter, forgetting the fact that he’s drunk with the way his eyes bore into yours. 

You dread his answer, not knowing what to expect. With the way, he was acting, and with all the things he’s said and done, you knew that his words would only hurt you even more from here on out. You clutch the fanfic of your sweater tightly, hanging on by a thread. 

But he says nothing.

The heavy silence lasts longer, and the more it persists, the more disappointment and disbelief creep into the cracked crevices of your already broken heart. Was he really going to act this way? Saying nothing at all? Did your relationship mean nothing to him in the past 2 years? 

“Unbelievable,” you mutter, letting out a scoff as your eyes scan his figure. He’s hunched up as if unsure of what to do, what to think, or what to say. There’s probably a flurry of emotions running through his mind, but you don’t pity him. You hope it continues to weigh heavy, as it did to you for the last three years. 

“I was miserable, Jungkook,” you whisper, recounting the memories you had buried deep within, afraid to open them up again at the cost of your already fragile happiness. But to be truly happy, one needs to let go of all the agony locked within. “Ever since Eunha came into our lives, you started treating me like a side character, as if I wasn’t your girlfriend.”

“And no,” you say sternly, already knowing what Jungkook was to say by the way his eyes widened and his mouth slacked, an arm up in protest for your words. “I’m not blaming Eunha entirely, contrary to what you may think. Sure, her arrival started it all. Sure, there were times where she acted so out of line that I wanted to slap her in the face n’s remind her who exactly she was talking to. But I couldn’t. Do you know why, Jungkook?” 

His eyebrows furrow in confusion, and you take a deep breath as you gather your thoughts. This was the first time you were finally going to let out all of your frustrations that’s been building up inside you for the past few years. It was a nerve-wracking feat, but a necessary one nonetheless, as even in those few moments of speaking, you were starting to feel just a bit more free. 

“Because I didn’t even know who I was anymore.”

Jungkook’s never been this confused in his life. 

It’s as if you had dropped a bomb on him without warning, causing him to be in a frenzy. What did you mean? How could you blame Eunha? Eunha was a sweet girl who could do no wrong. She was there for him whenever he needed that extra support, whenever he needed someone to ground him in this cruel, unforgiving world. 

She was there when you weren’t and was a constant in his life. How could such a sweet girl like her be the catalyst of this catastrophic situation? It had to be a joke.

“You’re lying,” he mutters, shaking his head in disbelief. The pain in his heart was coming back again, and just when he thought he had finally gotten rid of that after drowning in alcohol moments ago. This was your fault. You and your stupid song, your stupid lies. You were driving me crazy.

“I’m lying?” You ask, and Jungkook looks up to meet your eyes, feeling another burst of pain shoot through him at the agonizing expression on your face. Why did you look so hurt? He did nothing wrong. He didn’t hurt you. He couldn’t have. He had always been there for you. He was the reason you could do what you could in the first place. There was just no way that misery was because of him.

“Jungkook, did you even realize that with how much time you were spending with Eunha, you weren’t spending time with me anymore? Remember how you used to walk me home at midnight after your time at the studio and my radio show? You stopped doing that ever since she appeared.”

Lies.

“For days, I stood outside the company for hours, waiting for you to bring me home because you promised that you’d never miss it for the world. And on the day that I finally decided to check up on you, worried that you might have been overworking yourself? I see you in the studio, laughing with Eunha.”

 Jungkook wanted to scream. He was stressed. He had to make music. Why couldn’t you understand that? 

“And when I confronted you about it? You shrugged me off, saying I was overly dramatic.”

You are. Jungkook insists in his head, thoughts spiraling. What’s wrong with him not bringing you home. Even if he was your boyfriend, he was not obligated to, right? You were supposed to understand him, right? That’s what lovers are supposed to do.

“I thought to myself, maybe you were right. Maybe I was overdramatic, so I did what you asked and shrugged me off. Yet, with each passing day, it felt like I was a stranger in your eyes. Do you even realize Jungkook that ever since Eunha came into our lives, we’ve only been on three dates?” 

You’re too demanding, his mind screams. Three dates? That was plenty for successful stars of your caliber. You had to understand that being under the limelight meant that he couldn’t reserve all the time in the world for you. 

His heart clenches painfully again, and Jungkook feels a sob hitch in his throat. 

“It hurt.” You cry, letting out the words that Jungkook wanted to say. “It hurt so much watching the love of my life and my best friend toss me to the side. Where was the you that promised that you’d always be there for me? Where was the you that promised to stay?” 

You’re crying now, tears streaming down your face as the words you’ve kept hidden for the longest time finally make their way out of your system. Every part of you was screaming in agony and pain, and you can feel the mended parts of your patched-up heart slowly break again. 

“Jungkook, I loved you. I loved you so much that I risked it all for you. I joined the band even though I wasn’t sure of our future because I saw how happy you were. You showed me what happiness could be, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that, but at the same time, you showed me firsthand real pain and heartbreak. And I don’t think I can ever forgive you for doing that.” 

No. Why? You had to forgive him. You were his best friend. Stop. Stop speaking. Stop it. 

“I left because I wanted to keep what we still had within our memories.” You whisper, remembering the night you finally came to your decision. Remembering all the times you cried and broke down, not knowing what to do or where you should go. All the times where you forced yourself to put on a smile on your face and act as if everything was fine even though it wasn’t. 

“And I hoped that in leaving, we could pick up all the broken pieces and create something new with them. Maybe it would not have been a relationship as strong as the one we’ve had before. But at least it was something. And at least I would have still had a connection to you.”

You’re calm now, in a much better headspace than before. But that didn’t mean the ocean of despair that you surrounded yourself in dwindled in the slightest. It was still there, waiting in silence for the moment it could envelop you once more into its treacherous arms and drown you in its suffocating whispers. 

“But what the fuck is this?” 

You can feel the tides begin to sway, and you will yourself desperately to keep them down. With how the situation was unfolding, you needed to be the bigger person. For your sanity, For Jungkook’s, and for the closure that you both needed, which you weren’t sure would ever peacefully come to an end. 

“I never thought that you’d think of us like this Jungkook,” you whisper, and much to your horror, a tear slipped from the crevices of eyes as you hurriedly wiped them, standing up to grab your purse as you stood to leave the pub, not caring one bit if Jungkook got home safely or not, you were too overwhelmed to care. 

“I thought you loved me,” You whisper as you turn to look at him one final time, and all of a sudden, Jungkook is hit with wave after wave of sadness, anger, pain, frustration radiating from you. It suffocates him, and the only thought running through his head were questions of him hurting you? Was this really all his fault? 

“But I guess you only loved yourself.” A chuckle falls from your lips as you make your first step out of the door. Not paying mind to the old lady who looks at you with a worried gaze, you turn to open the door of the pub, only for someone else to beat you to it. 

Lo and Behold, It’s Eunha. 

“You,” She gasps as she takes in your disheveled and exhausted state. Although that immediate shock quickly disappears as she catches Jungkook’s equally petrified state from the corner of her eye. She then glares at you, but you honestly can’t find the energy within you to care.

Because this was never about her in the first place, even if in some way she plays a small part. 

“What did you do?” Eunha spats as she rushes past you to go to Jungkook, not even bothering to hear you out. You sigh, gathering the last remaining buts of courage within clenched fists, and make your way out of the door, leaving Jungkook, your broken heart, and the memories you two shared behind for good. 

Not caring what he would do with those fragments in the end. 

“Jungkook!”

Eunha exclaims, immediately hooking her arms around him and hoisting him up into an embrace. “What happened? What did that bitch do?” But Jungkook doesn’t answer, thoroughly overwhelmed by the range of emotions that had just surpassed him from his conversation with you. 

Was it truly his fault? Was he the reason why things had turned out this way? There was no way right. He had treated you right, right? 

Jungkook tries to convince himself that he’s done nothing wrong, that he was perfectly innocent in this situation. But that nagging feeling deep within his mind and soul screams at him to finally realize the truth. He’s scared. He doesn’t want to know what lies beyond the bubble of happiness he had placed himself in. He doesn’t want to feel the agonizing pain he’s put himself through without realizing it. 

But not doing so would kill him more than knowing the truth ever will. 

So he opens the door to the truth and wallows in the misery of what he’s done. 

To be fair, there was some truth to Jungkook’s words. He had treated you like you were the most precious thing in the universe. And that was because, for the longest time, Jungkook did consider you highly special to him. You were his first friend, the first person he could confide his feelings in, the first person who showed him what love could be like. 

You grew up together, cried together, had your first drink together, stood on stage for the first time together. You had done just about everything together, and Jungkook cherished you more than anything in the world. 

In everything he did, he always tried to make you a part of it. Whether that meant buying your favorite drink or sending you pictures of whatever he was doing, Jungkook always wanted to help you see the world through his eyes because you deserved that much. 

Ice cream dates, sneaking out at night to have some chicken and beer, random dates at the local arcade, a stroll at the beach. You and Jungkook had practically done it all. So, where did it all fall apart? Where did Jungkook go wrong?

“Jungkook?” Eunha calls out, and Jungkook finally musters up the courage to look at Eunha, who was worriedly trying to get him to answer her. Her hold is familiar, something he’s been used to in the past two years, yet at the same time, something was missing within her warmth. An unexplainable feeling he couldn’t quite describe.

And then he realized it wasn’t you. 

Just when did he go astray? When did he start treating you like you weren’t the world to him? For sure, it wasn’t a singular moment. It was most definitely a culmination of many events that led up to his demise. But just how did it happen? 

He looks at Eunha’s worried eyes, those same eyes that he thought meant the world to him within those two years of your break up. Yet, for some reason, he just couldn’t look at them in the same way anymore. Not when there was this hollow emptiness in his heart that called out for you and only you, 

It was like a game of tug and war in his heart. He still loved Eunha; that much was for sure. But he couldn’t deny the love that he had for you as well. He remembered how Eunha was like a breath of fresh air for him. In the midst of all your nagging for him to take care of himself when he was working his ass off making new songs and dealing with management, Eunha was there to simply smile and encourage Jungkook. 

Like a fool, he got lured into Eunha’s charm and held onto it, not noticing that he was letting go of you in the process. 

His heart wails. It cries in pain and desperation of the love it has lost. Why did it have to be this way? Why was Jungkook such a fool? So consumed by his own selfishness, he abandoned the love you two shared and sought another, and now he was reaping what he had sown. 

You were gone. You would never come back. Whatever love you had between the two of you had left and died out. The world was cruel. It had given Jungkook so much hope yet took it away from him the moment he slipped up. Yet, he couldn’t really blame them. He couldn’t really blame you. 

Because he knew you had tried, he could see it in the way your eyes still cried out in pain when you see him. He could hear it in the agony of your voice as you sang passionately in your songs. He knew you did your best to pick up the fallen pieces and try to mend them back together. But all Jungkook did was rip them apart all over again. 

Life couldn’t have been any better for Jeon Jungkook until suddenly it was not. 

And he was the only one to blame. 

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