#'this is well understood in my field in which i am an expert!'

[vintagegeekculture]

There are some books that are functionally boy’s adventure books, but are not advertised as such (Stuart Gibbs is a good example), but I absolutely know what you’re referring to. I have some experience in the public-facing library/bookselling field, so I have a guess at some of the reasons that boy's adventure books are currently out of fashion. 

Shonen anime, and graphic novels trying to cash in on being similar to shonen anime, are currently considered to be the main replacement.

The dual successes of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants are seen as the overall representation of “what boys want to read”. As with any success, middling-to-bad (or at least incredibly cynical) knockoffs are rife. 

Right now, books aimed at boys who have poor experiences around masculinity, or little interest in it, are extremely popular. So any story that celebrates masculinity is going to be looked at as being somewhat dangerous.

If you’re not interested in toilet humor and are a masculine kind of guy, you’re going to be looking at slim pickings.

-------------

P.S. I'm a WWII guy, except for a few years when I was a Spanish-American War guy -- I thought that was the same as having a personality.

Here's my observation on the popularity of Captain Underpants and Dogman: it ties in to an absolutely well understood track for stages of development in boys.

Now, keep in mind that I am not an expert in childhood development or education, but in the past, the reading habits of boys went through three comic book reading stages that maps, roughly, onto their growing capacities as they get older:

Archie/Harvey Comics Stage. This is usually a boy's first comic book, friendly and humorous and childlike. In the past, every boy's first comic is usually Archie, Jughead, or Richie Rich, or Casper the Friendly Ghost, Peanuts, Garfield, or Wendy the Good Little Witch. They like surreal humor, and the absence of concrete thinking and unreality of these books is a positive, as it matches the non-concrete thought processes of young kids, which is why adults often have trouble relating to this: if you ever saw a kid's drawings from this stage, people just float or fly in space, their feet not on the ground, and the sun is often drawn with a face. Notice that kids absolutely accept as a given that Pete and Pete are two brothers with the same name, which is something adults have a problem grasping. If you ever asked yourself why Spongebob Squarepants lives in a pineapple under the sea, of all things, instead of accepting it as a given (of course he lives in a pineapple, what do you expect?), you're probably past this stage.

Superman/Batman Stage. After the Archie/Harvey stage, boys move on to Superman and/or Batman, as their imagination capacities develop, they start to envision adventure and science fiction/other worlds apart from just humorous surrealism. Because they start to experience stories vicariously as their imagination expands to include putting themselves into the story, they tend to start to want adventure and action at this point, power fantasies of muscles, freedom, swordfighting, karate and sweet jump kicks, swinging over a rickety bridge with a rope, and wrestling a monkey (this is also the age that in decades past, boys got obsessed with Tarzan, and in more recent times, got into Adventure Time, a show about two brothers with no parents). All this is mingled with fantasy and science fiction as the ability to think in terms of other worlds and places emerges, but they still prefer pro-wrestling like good and evil as clearly delineated, as their moral reasoning is not super well developed. There are female villainesses in stories at this level, and their master plan is often to get the hero laid, which is a sign of evil instead of good. The fact that Batman and Superman seem to always have all the answers and win cleanly is a plus at this stage, since stories are lived vicariously as opposed to handled and seen with distance. Some people don't move past this stage, and you can usually identify these people because as they identify closely with a main character's state and emotions, put a book down when things get bad for the main character, and often say things like "wow, why does this writer like killing off characters or making them suffer?"

X-Men Stage. After a phase of being into Superman and Batman, most kids move on to an X-Men phase, usually by 6th Grade, but it depends on the kid. They start to be aware of society and the individual, and with that, in the case of many, comes an awareness of being on the outside looking in, so themes of being an outsider, rebel, and alienation start to be important. This is the stage your kids start to turn into little jerks who mouth off to you, and the reason why is the same reason kids (usually) move on from Superman to X-Men: it's the era that kids start to develop moral reasoning, a muscle they flex and apply to every aspect of their life and play with like a new toy. They probably aren't able to articulate it this way, but they like the idea of conflict with society, rebellion (as they are conscious of an individual and society for the first time), and even the idea of moral dilemmas. Also, because boys are going through puberty at this point, they start to find girls interesting, which is why the X-Women like Rogue, Storm, Marvel Girl, and Psylocke were so much more alluring and appealing than Lois Lane and Betty and Veronica. They also start to be aware of status for the first time, a person's relationship in comparison to others, something younger kids are only barely cognizant of, which is why they like things being hardboiled and "cool."

You could, for more modern times, update this list of stages to the Spongebob Stage, Adventure Time Stage, and Jojo/One Piece Stage. In the 1950s, the trajectory would be Tom Swift and other "boy with a helicopter" stories, then boyish gee-whiz adventure writers like H.G. Wells and Jules Verne, and finally, big-idea, believable guys like Heinlein and Asimov by age 12-14. The exact content is not important, the developmental stages in boys are.

If you're a Star Trek fan as a kid, Captain Kirk is usually your favorite character early on (in the Superman/Batman stage), where you vicariously experience and enjoy his coolness and ace-status (as a kid, I thought Captain Kirk was cooler than all the comic book superheroes put together), and then it usually becomes Spock as you get older and start to relate to his alienation and the fact he is different from everyone else. Star Trek deserves some genius prize because it has the adventure, cool monsters, and moral framework to appeal to kids at the Superman stage, but then grows up with them with dilemmas and big ideas as they enter the X-Men stage.

I do believe the reason Harry Potter has such a fan following is the books grow up with you. Harry Potter started off whimsical and charming (Harvey/Archie Stage), then became about adventure and good versus evil (Superman/Batman Stage) then was about moody teenagers, where the heroes are outlaws on the run from the clueless government and pair off with each other in love stories (X-Men Stage).

There are bound to be problems when something aims at one stage but has fans of the other. Hulk Hogan and John Cena are often hated by a certain kind of wrestling fan because they are Batman/Superman heroes kids love because they experience their strength and indomitability vicariously, and only grow to prefer the X-Men-like "cool rebel" Rock and Stone Cold later on. You don't like John Cena, or Superman, because he's not for you.

Now, all that said, when you talk about how boys don't move past Dogman, the Archie/Harvey Comics is the stage of development you're talking about, that books like Captain Underpants, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and Dogman operate at. And the reason they seem to be dominant is that boys stop reading after the Archie stage. In other words, in my opinion, you're confusing effect with cause: they have nothing for them except manga after this point as most boys stop reading entirely past the Archie/Harvey Comics stage.

Why? Your guess is as good as mine, it is simply the largest and underdiscussed social problem of our time, boys stop reading and often never read again. "Young Adult" essentially means girl's books now.

The reason why nobody is examining this issue is simple: men's rights advocates are not particularly concerned with helping boys, but more with bitterly whining about ex girlfriends and gripes with the family court system. So when a legitimate social issue happens that affects boys disproportionately (the fact boys stop reading entirely around age 9-10 and never read a book again in their lives) they have nothing to say and are not particularly interested in the issue.

As someone with a concern and interest in helping boys, I was initially very sympathetic to the Men's Rights idea that society leaves them behind, and it does happen more or less as they say it does: society lets them slip through the cracks, especially in the school system, where they are seen as a problem to be solved, especially when high spirited (normal). However, there was very little sympathy in that group for boys who were physically abused and beaten by parents. Most believe in corporeal punishment, as they care less about boys and more about the primacy of paternal authority - just as you'd expect from bitter, divorced dad, malicious pieces of shit. And boys being molested is often treated as a joke, and not with the seriousness and primacy the issue deserves.

Likewise, despite the talk of feminism helping men, women's rights are not especially concerned with helping boys either, because...well, why would they be? It also doesn't help that the leadership and vanguard (though not necessarily the rank and file or activist base) of women's rights movements are usually professional, striving educated women (a group with high rates of sociopathy and reduced empathy) so their focus is on access to elite institutions and professions. This is more especially obvious in the UK than in the US, where feminism is more explicitly linked to class, as one can see with JK Rowling. As a consequence of this, #MeToo was not about waitresses or gig workers who endure horrible harassment, but about access to elite institutions. There's a reason why when we picture sexual harassment, it's in business suits at a law firm, and not a diner waitress bothered by creeps or her manager.

I will say this: I am very heartened that #MeToo and activism and so on are now starting to include boys who were molested. Very few changes in our culture have been positive and that is one. There's a reason male survivors of sexual abuse and molestation keep their head down, were not included as a part of #MeToo initially, and that is starting to change. Self blame and guilt is a part of every abuse victim, but it is especially crushingly intense with boys too young to understand, and who are trained to endure and not ask for help from male friends.

[eresia-catara]

whats the significance of Guido having red hair?

Sorry anon I took this long things have been a little rough lately, but do know that this answer has been in the back of my mind constantly.

So, I'm not saying this is what dgr actually meant because I am not an expert in this field (I talk as if I were an expert in any field lol) so I'm writing this as my personal interpretation jsksj but anyway here's the deal:

pre-raphaelite art developed inside a cultural context that was rediscovering irrationality in all its forms and was fascinated with all that was exotic — meaning, all that is far away, both in time and space. This, especially going towards the northern regions of Europe, meant a special interest in the Middle Ages (far away in time and, due to the prejudices of previous Enlightenement, maximally superstitious/magical = irrational). This means that when we read a pre-raphaelite painting we have to be strongly focused on symbolisms, because that's what their art was: a thought, a message, conveyed through a set of elements that redirected the mind to something else, something more that is beyond what we see. Art is a means to an end, simply put; it's never the point.

Now, a recurring symbol in this art is women with long red hair, such as

Hair in general has always been strictly linked to the essence of a person, going from personality to their position in life. For example, in Mediterranean territories, brown hair is the most common, so if a person has a different color it means they are uncommon in a way or another. In this perspective, in the Middle Ages blonde was usually associated with purity (we can see that the virgin Mary was usually depicted as blonde, but women in poetry were also described as blonde). Red was more often associated with force, be it good or bad. In the Bible, David has red hair because he is destined to great things, but also Saul and Caiaphas are described that way and they were inspired by the devil. In art, Judas has red hair, and when he kisses Jesus, he too has red hair. Red hair is ambivalent, it is however preeminently irrational and goes beyond the earthly dimention; if a person has red hair it essentially means 'hey look out! this person brings consequences'.

And what about hair that is long? Long hair is associated with women, and as it's also associated with sensuality (since hair was considered a main instrument of seduction), women often kept it up as a form of modesty. Thus long hair that is not tied up stands out, again, like the colour red. It tells us the person is not common, they are special in some way (at least in art, because in society you were simply considered a wh0re if you weren't young enough lol), they stand apart from the crowd because they do not follow conventions.

This also makes long red hair extremely sensual, for example.

If we go to dgr's painting where Guido has long red hair, well, the picture speaks loudly, to the 19th century observer. Guido brings consequences, he stands not among the commons because he, as a being, does not conform to social codes and formalities and conventions. He is an irrational force, in the sense that what he brings cannot be understood through analytical thinking and Reason and science but rather through a synthetical approach (what I mean is: imagine a set of stairs, where the bottom is absolute ignorance and the top is absolute knowledge. Analytical thinking means understanding step by step as you go up, synthetical is like being teleported from the bottom directly to the top). And in fact what does Guido have that is so special? He is the friend that found out Dante's talent, he's the means through which Dante achieved divinely-willed (not profane, not rational) glory, he's an omen (irrational). Guido brought a consequence: Dante. And by having him read Guinizzelli's poems we have a temporal continuity from the old masters to the new ones, from old art to new art, from old knowledge to new knowledge.

but do we also have to exclude the possibility that Guido is simply sexy haha

[strokes-of-everything]

The New York Times apparently featured an article recently about how ~American Theater is Imploding.~. With quotes from industry “leaders” about why people not seeing shows are committing moral failures for not doing so.

“The Greeks understood its part of one’s civic duty to attend theatrical productions!”

“JFK encouraged people to engage with the arts! Why aren’t you engaging????”

At the core, these sentiments essentially boil down to, “why aren’t you spending your time and money to see our shows, audiences??? Shame!”

I’m an aspiring theater and film director. I switched fields because I saw the promise of creating works of art that foster discussion and connection with the world around us.

Had I known we’d see the field devolve into what it is today, I would have stuck to economics.

Instead of stomping their feet and wagging fingers at the American people for not attending what these supposed experts deem to be worthy of our time and effort as a society, they ought to be looking at why audience engagement is so low.

First and foremost? Inflation and monetary pressure on necessities.

The arts are not a necessity when you’re struggling to feed your family and afford your house payments. Sorry, that’s just a fact of a life.

Anyone in theatre should know this, considering you usually have to study things like A Doll’s House and the rise of entertainment for the middle class at the start of the 1900s when earning a theatre degree. Industrialization increased income for a large chunk of the population so they could stop worrying about feeding their kids and instead have some pocket money and a little leisure time. We are now rapidly rolling back down the poverty hill, so people don’t have the time nor the money to spend on going to see a show.

Second, I can almost guarantee these people aren’t actively asking previous audience members why they aren’t coming to shows anymore. Why? Because when I have spoken to people at local theaters where I volunteer, who said they stopped going to Broadway and are sticking closer to home, it’s because they’re tired of shows telling them what to think and shoving certain material down their throats.

This second point is why I am actively regretting my life choices.

Theatre works best when it isn’t forcing an audience to take a certain viewpoint. Theatre works best when it doesn’t water down complex issues into motivational cat posters. If you want escapism without nuance, watch a Disney movie.

Theatre today is less about fostering debate and more about forcing political ideologies.

I want people to engage with and discuss my shows. I don’t want to indoctrinate them.

That is not what the Greeks used theatre for in their society. That is, “Hey, I’m the Sun King, and you better make me look good,” theatre. That is Fuenteovejuna theatre. That is not what JFK or anyone who understood the power of debate through creative expression meant when they said it’s part of your civic duty to engage with artistic productions.

That’s also why I mourn the great playwrights like Tennessee Williams, August Wilson, etc. They wrote with nuance. You understood the power of their plays in creating acceptance and connection and removing bigotry without it being shoved down your throat. No one openly engages with things getting shoved down their throats. And they tire of things very quickly when it’s the same stuff getting shoved over and over again.

Third, and finally, you have to find new ways to engage with audiences. Sleep No More did this and continues to excel. The National Theatre production of Midsummer also brought theatre-goers into the experience instead of having them sit for three hours in darkness while the actors had all the fun, which helped it to do well. We need more shows with participation elements in the industry if we want to innovate.

If the theatre industry could let go of proclaiming, “We’ve always done this and it’s always worked! Why aren’t you understanding we are right?!” and shifted to focusing on what audiences want to see now, maybe shows would see the engagement they desperately need. I don’t see that happening anytime in the near future.

[in-flvx]

hey hey so i saw your post about sirius accents and class and accents/sociolinguistics (particularly in the uk) have literally been one of my biggest interests since forever, and i totally get what you're saying, it is natural to adopt ways of speaking from the people you're closest with and there is deffo an aspect of that in the way i headcanon sirius' way of speaking. however... even if sirius isn't machiavelli planning out whether or not to pronounce an 'h', it is a really well documented phenomenon of people (particularly those of the middle class in the uk) switching up their accent nearly unconsciously in function w/what they are trying to project.

to say that sirius is in the wrong for adopting "working class" speech is totally not it, totally incorrect. but i don't think that's what people are saying? idk maybe i've just not come across them, but what i've seen is people pointing out areas where sirius might unconsciously reinforce/benefit from classism thru his speech.

i really really do not want to come off as condescending, but classism in the uk as it manifests thru accents is something really hard to understand coming from a north american perspective, which i know because i thought i understood after reading about it for years and then i went the uk and realised i didn't know shit, so even if it comes off as people villianising sirius i really don't think that is the case, i think it's just a really complicated issue!

Hey hey, I appreciate your input.

I am not anglophone at all. I learnt English in school. So, I am not attempting to be the expert on accentism in any anglophone context. I think I learnt a little through reading, but I am also aware that that won't come close to the lived experience of people in the anglophone context. I maybe should have put this as a disclaimer on my post, so it doesn't stand as an absolute.

And with my outsider perspective, I am trying to envision Sirius inside the spectrum of accents the uk provides. I personally do not see Sirius as a person who forcefully tries to disconnects himself from rp to appear 'cooler', which is mostly how I have seen his adopting of different speech patterns seen interpreted, by the pov character in question. Which I also absolutely think is a thing many people who were raised with rp do (I just can't see Sirius do it just to appear more fun).

My perspective on Sirius though, is, that he is someone who is very well aware of his socio-economic position. He would adopt some speech patterns naturally, bc that's just how languages, and having friends works.

But I personally also like to play with aus in which Sirius doesn't have the security net of the potters, and his uncles inheritance. And I then wonder how someone who was raised with rp would navigate a situation like that. Of course, his rp will give him advantages in most fields - from getting a bank account, to getting a place to stay.

But imagining him having to navigate a society in which he would be as bad off as many others, trying to get friends, and then get those people to trust him, as a disinherited heir to an empire, is still interesting to me. Maybe especially bc I know so little about all of this.

And still, I usually see [Remus] uncomfortable that sirius, who is only ever well off, would forcibly adopt speeking patterns. Idk I was just thinking about it

[onaperduamedee]

Notes on Lord of Chaos

You do not want to go into a 90-page long prologue and read “Demandred.” That said, this introductory chapter felt very much like a “previously on”, which is all the more bizarre that at this point Robert Jordan was publishing one book a year, a feat of writing if there ever is one.

I did suspect Marigan because Moghedien turned Birgitte into a child which was very left field. That’s a nice touch.

When Nynaeve noted that losing her hate for Moiraine was like losing a part of herself… That’s it. I need to be writing/reading Nyn/Moi fanfic right now.

Digging Nyn and Elayne as PhD students only flimsily supervised and lying about their subject: they are literally handling war criminals and weapons of mass destruction for giggles. It’s the most fun I’ve had with them together so far.

Considering the time period, Jordan understood and deconstructed quite well how patriarchy affects and hurts men, but does not grasp nearly as well how it affects and hurts women, and it is so bizarre given his whole premise. The women in his universe are plagued with the same kind of violence and micro-aggressions as in our universe despite supposedly being the norm and authority.

Semirraghe already has all my gay attention. She is terrifying.

The fact that the Forsaken are out on the hunt for angreal, when we know Aes Sedai of old have been trying for thousands of years to keep them hidden, is very much QED. I am loving the attention to detail.

Davram Bashere is so right though. Rand's obsession with learning the sword is mostly an attempt at running from who he is, even if it's also an exercise to settle his mind. Combined with his refusal of support, it emphasizes how much he is hurting himself and fighting himself.

Rand calling Mat illiterate is the funniest line in the book, I am sorry.

Rand accidentally insulting an old lady by talking about her youth as history is also very funny.

Loving him connecting the dots about Tigraine and Shaiel. He has grown so sharp and savvy.

Rand telling he will not trust Aes Sedai but will use them is so so good. That's exactly what they think of him as well. At the end of the day, Lews Therin was an Aes Sedai, and Rand is one, even is he gives a different name to male Aes Sedai.

Rand's inner monologue being so Moirainesque is everything. It's beyond mesmerising to see him apprehend male channelers like Moiraine did him. Her ghost really lingers.

Davram Bashere is immensely cool, and Mazrim Tain is so overtly untrustworthy. Rand, please be careful.

Mat aka "is this army propaganda in your pocket or are you just happy to see me ?" He continues to be the most dynamic of the lot, but I wish he wasn’t so tied to armies and wars because it bores me.

So the bond is actually a weave that didn't exist in the Age of Legends? Much to think about.

Neither Elayne nor Nynaeve are very good teachers tbh. Nynaeve and Elayne have every right to be annoyed they have to teach Aes Sedai Tel'aran'rhiod, but given their own laborious start, their attitude is bloody immature. And I say this as someone whose job involves teaching older people new technologies.

Elayne and Nynaeve: Aes Sedai are insufferable for constantly wanting to know business not concerning them

Elayne and Nynaeve: do exactly that, all the time

Siuan playing cat's cradle while spying on the Aes Sedai, I love her so much. She isn’t here as much as I want to but how evident a presence she is! She is such an expert at adapting to the situation and knowing how to present herself to others.

The Trolloc nightmare was excellent and clarified some rules I have been wondering about. Loved the complicity between Siuan and Elayne too. In general, I am having such a blast with Siuan growing closer to the girls. If this is glimpse into what kind of teacher she was as an Accepted, she must have been a good one. Despite others seeing her as imposing, she is truly gifted at drawing people in.

All that talk about Rand not falling for Elaida's ploy tells me he's going to do exactly that.

In truth, I find Mat's attitude of "Rand is who he is" much more anchored in reality than Nyn's "I recall when I spanked him as a child." There is no coming back to the boy he was; it doesn’t mean he can’t still experience love or joy as he is now. Trying to resuscitate that boy will only hurt him, but seeing him as a person now, as he is, despite the creeping madness that is part of him, could make such a difference.

Alanna bonding Rand all of a sudden was so bloody violent and unexpected? But also kudos to RJ for showing just after why she did what she did, unstable and scared as she is.

I do not trust Mazrim Taim and his incel army: sweet concept, still a shell that will blow up in Rand's face.

Egwene running into and not recognizing Leane and Siuan in Tel’aran’rhiod had me giggling. I cannot wait for them to meet again.

Oh, cool, just another female character's POV ruined by insipid romance.

I actually love the Salidar Aes Sedai. I think it's quite easy for Nynaeve and Elayne to criticise a group of people trying to set up another White Tower with its entire ancillary community, while also plotting to go to war with the White Tower and reaching out to Rand, when the girls are always off adventuring and fleeing. Elayne will rule Andor and Nynaeve certainly Malkier, yet their approach to responsibility is flimsy at best. Elayne has the excuse of youth, but Nynaeve was a Wisdom before this all started and I am not enjoying them in their ninny era.

Berelain! Defending women's right to learn the sword! Hell yeah! I love Berelain, she’s hyper-competent and unfazed while everyone (and the narrative) is frankly despicable to her. She’s this universe Elle Woods.

Awwwwww, Rand's schools. That's genuinely lovely. I love the dichotomy of Rand creating a school to turn men into weapons (something that will absolutely not lead to escalade and senseless deaths) and another to build and invent a new Age (even if again weapons).

Sorilea can scram with that creepy trad wife shit. Leave Aviendha alone.

Was the Maiden handtalk mentioned before? I cannot remember, but now it’s everywhere.

The Ogier chapter was so good. Liah’s disappearance was actually creepier than the venture in Shadar Logoth from the EotW: I am a firm believer of not showing when it comes to horror and this hit just the right spot.

Mat, you saint patron of thieves! Of course, he would recruit ruffians for scouts. He is so fond of his men too.

The Olver addition is so random. It could be either very endearing or very annoying, we'll see.

Kinda proves my point from last review that Lan's echoes in Rand's mind are mostly self-destructive intrusive thoughts like "I am death" and Moiraine's so far is politically savvy advice with occasional martyr complex.

Ajhdjfkjshfks, between Verin wondering if Rand killed Moiraine and the Red Tower not even believing in her death and suspecting the mysterious Green sister is Moiraine, she is haunting the narrative!

Shout-out to Moiraine and her secret forbidden weaves.

The Aiel cultural comedy of errors is starting to get old, as is the gag of Maidens acting like mother hens to Rand. We get it, women warriors mothering him is funny.

Wait, did Fain just imply Elaida and Pedron Niall are infected with Mashadar? CAN WE GET MORE ON THAT PLEASE

Siuan and Leane being healed! My heart! Their reaction was so moving and poor Nynaeve in the middle of it, healing the incurable almost by accident. What did I say about hapless PhD students? This makes up for my frustration with Nyn this book.

Carlinya laying down some truths about the Tower hypocrisy regarding the DR and male channelers! Hell yes! Rand is like you! Male channelers are like you! They need to be protected and accommodated, not gentled and executed.

Gareth is beyond gross. The way he relishes the power he has over Siuan, making her feel every inch of the power imbalance has me shivering.

I want to cry. Siuan, Leane, I love you. The concept of regaining their power, but only a fraction of it, leaving them scarred, is a fascinating one. Their delayed reaction to the trauma they went through was also everything.

Another takeaway from Alanna bonding Rand and Siuan loving Bryne is that after losing their warders Aes Sedai are a complete mess and prone to dreadful decision making.

Aran'gar is in Salidar! This is bad for all of them. Despite how risky keeping Moghedien hidden is, at least Nyn and Elayne have her completely subdued. This is a loose cannon.

RJ cannot ekphrasis for peanuts for someone so good at hypotyposis.

OH hell, Rand spied on them. Everyone forgot he is a boss at Tel'aran'rhiod.

Egwene's relationship with the Wise Ones is incredible. She truly became an Aiel at heart and grew so much. I love her so much.

Up until this point, Rand was politically astute, but between trusting Taim with training an army, ignoring the Sea Folk and kidnapping Elayne... This is chaotic ruling. Be careful, please.

Jordan's weird obsession with corporal punishment aside, Egwene meeting her toh was amazing. Also of course she would rediscover travelling through Tel’aran’rhiod on her own.

Ajjdkdkjfkskfjdh EGWENE YOU POOR CHILD YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS INTRIGUE

But she also deserves to be Amyrlin. She's the best.

The Amyrlin ceremony seems very terfy.

It's plain foolishness to think Elaida will retreat just because another Amyrlin has been raised. The Salidar lot is at their wits’ end.

I am so so so proud of Egwene and Siuan. So proud. Their sense of duty is everything and seeing Siuan becoming Egwene's mentor, while Egwene becomes Siuan's protector means everything to me.

The gag of Aviendha being swarmed by Aes Sedai after Egwene and the Wise Ones does make up for the endless Aiel humour skits.

As much as I am 100% on Elayne's side regarding Rand giving her Caemlyn and Cairhien (I feel bad for the Cairhienin. Again, they are given absolutely no self-determination here), I would really welcome the break from Elayne and Nynaeve on yet another Macguffin hunt.

Does Thom think he left Moiraine to die? Why? He’s not her warder and Lan doesn't even think he did?

Between Rand believing he knows what's going on with Elayne and Egwene in Salidar, Mat convinced Aviendha will kill Elayne, and the Wise Ones calling the Aes Sedai foolish women, let's just say it's a field day for unreliable narrators.

War bores me. The Black Tower as nothing but a military camp bores me.

The Salidar Aes Sedai are so entertaining, though. They’re very much an administration run amok.

Is Mat dancing with Aran'gar? Jabdjfkkahfjfkkd he is such a fool. I love him. I love the contrast between Moiraine and Rand clocking Forsaken like it's their job, and Mat, Nynaeve and Elayne doing everything short of kissing them.

Meanwhile, Mat flirting with Siuan and Leane flirting with him as revenge is exactly the kind of comedy of errors I enjoy.

I must say, Mat being a little sexist jerk was redeemed by him showing Egwene proper respect just to spite Aes Sedai. One thing I like about him is the way his first reaction is often off-putting, but he will course correct swiftly.

Rand complaining about Aes Sedai tying strings to him while doing exactly with all of his friends is most excellent.

Am I supposed to be glad Perrin and Faile reinvented feudalism in the Two Rivers?

The discussion with Davram and Perrin about women and truth manages to be even more ludicrous than the Two Rivers nonsense in book 4, which is an achievement.

On one hand, Rand is obviously not behind the Aes Sedai murder attempt and this is a trap; on the other, you can't tell me the Salidar embassy's initial reaction was excessive.

Because Aes Sedai and Rand are the same, of course they don't continue on the non-excessive path long.

Nyn and Elayne are super silly with Vandene and Adeleas. I don't care if they dislike being chaperoned. They can just pretend they will obey and do the contrary. It will at least ease the sisters' suspicion.

The sisters poking at Mat like he's a lab rat is a little bit funny.

Ten days it is? Okay, so the girls are going to fuck around for ages like in Tanchico.

I am glad that Min caught on what Rand has missed with the Salidar embassy. He is bungling his handling of the Aes Sedai, all the elements are in place for a catastrophic outcome. Not that I was expecting the Aes Sedai to be sensible here, but he is generally much better at diplomacy.

I retract what I said about Min, she did send Rand right into the Lion's den. Obviously, it would have been too simple if Bera and Kiruna had been planned. Coming to Cairhien without a stronger alliance with the Salidar lot, considering whatever the Tower's embassy has been plotting, is A Bad Idea.

I like Merana. I love these tidbits about the Tower ranking not being strictly power-based.

The waiting in Cairhien is just boring, there's no way around it, even with the terrifying warfare Berelain has unleashed on Perrin.

Poor Loial getting saddled with a romance does not make this better.

OH, I knew this. I bloody knew all his hopping from Caemlyn to Cairhien, his cautiousness with the Salidar embassy not equaling his with the White Tower's, his relying on Min for intel and not caring a jot what fighting Lews Therin was doing to his psyche would lead to the worst. So bloody good, but man, was it written on the wall. The tragedy, the horror, the beauty.

Mat playing with a Seanchan now; reader, I screamed internally. I wish the EF5 were half as suspicious of anyone as they are of Aes Sedai.

Mat making a terrible job of raising Olver while also caring about him is very in-character.

Errrr, the choice to have Ebou Dari and Domani people of colour and paint them as violent and hyper-sexual is certainly something.

OH, so Sevanna is the one who tricked the Aes Sedai in Caemlyn! SWEET. There are so many threads flying around.

OOOOOOOH, so tying a shield is easier than holding it. INTERESTING Also this comes just after Egwene complained about traditions of holding vs. tying.

Rand is going to be beyond traumatized by all this. The parallels with Egwene and the Seanchan are delicious though.

The thing is... Between the Shaido Wise Ones, the Seanchan and the Asha'man, the Aes Sedai' oath not to kill or make weapons with the One Power is actually a most excellent idea. For real, Rand opened a school not two months ago and they are already committing war crimes?

The battle for Rand is less confusing than some of the previous fights, but it is also less visually striking, for me at least. Emotionally, it is way more satisfying though.

My girl Egwene freeing Logain and taking counsel from Siuan... My heart is so full.

Myrelle talking about Lan like it's a case of futile medical care...

So Aes Sedai do feel quite strongly their warder's wounds? Honestly, between the stamina and strength, the extended years in good health, and accessible healing, the warders gain a lot from the bond.

The Sea folk ships HAVE to be full of Seanchan, they have to.

I have as much thoughts and questions about Rand making the Aes Sedai kneel than about Moiraine in TFoH, but I suspect all will be addressed in the next book so I am reserving my judgement.

Can I just say none of this book would have happened had Moiraine been there by Rand's side?

Overall, this one was a bit of a transitional book, wasn't it? Many chapters were mostly spent waiting for things to happen, in Caemlyn, in Cairhien, on the road, in Salidar, which brought back dark memories from TEotW. At this point, we are familiar enough with the characters not to mind just hanging out with them, but the contrast with the chapters where the story is advancing is too great for me to say it is worth it. The highs (Siuan and Leane healed, Egwene becoming Amyrlin, Rand captured, the Salidar plotting) were really high, and I really enjoyed the trap slowly closing on Rand and the way it culminated in pain, violence and rage in Dumai's wells. And even those highs are mainly setting things up and redefining arcs for the main characters, a given for the middle point. It did so unevenly, with Rand and Egwene at the top and Perrin and Aviendha at the bottom. But yeah, the book lived up to my expectations. NOW I need to know what is going on with the Sea Folk.

[umichenginabroad]

Week 6: Past Halfway

Ciao again!

Somehow, even though it feels like I just flew in maybe two weeks ago, I am in the second half of my program. I finished up Marine Bio, had my first few Archeology Field Study lectures (I transferred from History of Food and Culture to take advantage of the field trips) and we now have physics lab thrown into the mix. 

Though classes are still keeping me busy, this week was a very welcome lull in homework thanks to finals being over. With a bit more free time, I found myself reflecting on my experience here this past month (even though I am still in denial it’s been that long) and what I have learned so far. The true, in-depth, reflection will come at the end of my blog series but I have learned so much already I want to share. 

My main takeaway so far has been that very very few situations are truly that serious. I have learned that 9 times out of 10, it’s simply not worth it to get super stressed out about. You will figure it out, and half the time there’s nothing you can do except wait, so getting upset and stressed doesn’t help in the slightest. Next time you’ll know better, having learned from the situation. I largely have the southern Italian public transportation to thank for teaching me this patience as trains and buses are chronically delayed or sometimes canceled. On my trip to Greece a few weekends ago, my friend and I got to the Sorrento train station just to find out our train, and the next two, to Naples were canceled due to mechanical failure. Instead of freaking out over how much later we were going to get to our AirBnB or how little sleep we’d now get (both things we couldn’t control as sadly neither of us are train experts), we sat on a bench in the station and pulled out a deck of cards. 

Next time I had a train or flight to catch in Naples, I made sure to give myself at least one extra commuter train buffer in case my planned one didn’t work out. I’ve found that situations like that, which before would’ve caused me much panic, have turned into some of my favorite memories as they all turn into stories to tell.

Next, make sure you have the experience that YOU want to be having, not someone else. Though I have learned to become comfortable with this concept through weekend trips with people, it applies to everyday life as well. People came into this program with a large variety of expectations, travel styles, and financial means. Some people come with a vacation mindset, wanting to always eat out, taking the fastest mode of transportation to wherever, and getting a plethora of souvenirs to take back. Some will choose buses taking over double the time of a train to cut costs. Some people prefer to travel as far as they can every weekend, whereas others want to stay and explore the local area. Each person is valid in how they want to spend their time, but that doesn’t have to dictate how you spend yours. Personally, I love going to museums and learning about the historical significance of a place, yet I did not go to my first museum here until several weeks in. The other people I traveled with aren’t museum goers, so I didn’t go either (I’m working on people pleasing tendencies now). Though it was still a fun weekend, I left that trip feeling a bit mad at myself and a bit resentful at my group, even though they did nothing wrong. Next time, I stayed with the group for the things everyone wanted to do, then a friend and I did our own thing for a bit and saw what we wanted to see.

As much as we college students don’t like to call ourselves “real” adults, at the end of the day we are adults and as such are fully capable of choosing our own paths. This might just be the biggest lesson I’ve learned; my happiness is truly no one else’s responsibility except my own and that’s amazing. It was a very liberating moment when I finally understood. 

(Two pics from this afternoon when I arrived in Florence for my first solo adventure! First one of my on a bride with the river and building in the background, second of a statue surrounded by buildings)

Overall, life studying abroad is still life, just with a much prettier background. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows like in a movie — there are still bad days, I still have responsibilities from back home, and it still takes work to take care of myself. While this has been, and still is, an amazing growth opportunity I am still me, just a bit more self assured, a bit wiser, a bit more go-with-the-flow, and a lot tanner.

That’s all for now, next week’s edition will be a bit lighter as I’ve got an excursion, a field trip, and hiking Vesuvius on the books!

Marika Ruppart

Mechanical Engineering

Engineering in Sorrento, Italy

[stickytimemachinefestival]

The Next Big Thing in replica bags designer

The duplicate bag craze is almost nothing new.​ I recall Once i was a young teen planning to search her finest, I assumed possessing a reproduction bag was the final word trend statement.​ I bought my very to start with designer replica bag from a neighborhood store.​ It was a basic Gucci tote that I believed was so chic and complex.​ I try to remember clutching tightly on the handles and strutting down the road.​ I felt similar to the belle from the ball!

I've considering that understood the Idea of owning a duplicate bag is a bit controversial.​ In fact, the first designer normally places their blood, sweat and tears into each style, and knocks-off organizations just take the credit as their particular.​ Though I bought my replica bag a few years back, I nevertheless replicate fondly on all the great times I had with that bag.​

Simultaneously, I know how vital it is actually to safeguard the exertions and commitment of designers, so for that rationale I do not buy reproduction baggage any more.​ Continue to, it's tricky to ignore the price tag of an primary style and design, and over and over its just further than our monetary arrive at.​

For that reason, I do think reproduction baggage have their spot in The style field.​ It is really true there are disadvantages to proudly owning a reproduction like very poor excellent and material, but when worn respectfully they can be equipment that help us produce special and amazing appears to be.​ What's more, I feel It can be achievable to find a Center floor - 1 could continue to recognize the first models with no getting knock-offs.​

Although I don't Individually have replica luggage anymore, I am aware Lots of individuals who do, also to use an idiom, ‘it all depends upon the person’.​ For many, the only real distinction between an authentic and duplicate bag is the value tag.​ They do not treatment about recognition or quality, they just want to avoid wasting a couple of bucks what ever way they might.​

I'm able to fully empathize using this type of standpoint.​ In fact, I have been there myself, wishing to feel gorgeous and stylish in my duplicate Gucci bag.​ But I also understand the vital role of a designer and the necessity of protecting their rights as well as their labor.​

I recall The very first time I saw a phony bag.​ I was purchasing in my area shopping mall and stumbled throughout this amazing designer handbag.​ I was so mesmerised by its beauty that I promptly assumed it was legitimate.​ Little did I are aware that it was really a counterfeit! I can however recall the depth with the disappointment Once i identified the reality.​

Initially, I thought to myself, how can someone get away with building copies of reliable designer bags? Then I realised that the desire for designer items has developed exponentially, and counterfeiters are Making the most of this.​ Pretend luggage are everywhere now, and It truly is really unhappy to think about.​

I'm absolutely sure many of us have acquired a phony designer bag without the need of realising it.​ In spite of everything, the counterfeiters have their professional touch.​ It's challenging to tell the distinction between a real along with a faux bag.​ Even expert customers is usually fooled.​

Then again, there are a few notify-tale signs like the price tag, and the caliber of the leather-based applied, which can help determine a faux.​ For anyone who is scared of getting duped, do your analysis and Ensure that the bag you might be shopping for is the real offer.​

I truly feel guilty figuring out that there's an field that will take benefit of individuals.​ But the truth is, quite a bit of customers have their very own explanations for buying phony luggage.​ Some people are unable to afford originals, while others are searching for a good deal.​

Plenty of individuals have been ripped off and duped by obtaining fake bags.​ It is best to steer clear of counterfeits completely.​ Correct, They could seem seemingly reliable and truly feel lavish, but that's only about to very last for thus lengthy.​ Lower-high-quality supplies and weak craftsmanship indicate your phony bag will not likely stand the take a look at of time.​

What is actually worse is, buying a phony bag would not only benefit the vendor but supports a much bigger, felony underworld.​ In addition to that, selling bogus products can stop you up in jail if you can get caught, so It is really often greatest to remain away from fakes.​

So, in case you are ever considering buying a designer bag, I might urge you to acquire only from authorised sellers.​ That way, it is possible to make sure It can be authentic and safe.​ Plus, with all the money you preserve from obtaining fakes, you'll have more than enough to get a quality first.​ So It is generally ideal being cautious in generating purchases.​

I suppose I’m trapped in the middle, owning found both sides of your coin.​ I may not carry a designer tote anymore, but I'm able to appreciate the value, craft and top quality that went into it.​ And when I do see a person carrying a gorgeous authentic fake bags piece, I'm able to’t help but admire the effort and creativeness powering it.​

So, With regards to duplicate bags, what genuinely defines them? Can it be the craftsmanship, the originality, or the bit of thoughts that goes coupled with it? Or could it be merely about the cost tag?

In the long run, I think reproduction luggage should be thought of as manner statements that ought to be revered and appreciated, much like the initial pieces.​ All things considered, they assist us spend less with no compromising our design in any way, and for that they should be regarded as a valuable addition to any individual’s selection of baggage.​

Getting a further look at the make a difference of duplicate luggage, there’s considerably more to them than simply knock-offs of originals.​ Some knock-off brands are getting to be really Inventive, Operating difficult to produce handbags with spectacular craftsmanship and cocktails of resources that wouldn't Ordinarily be located on a conventional designer piece.​ They draw inspiration from the first and come up with styles which are really stylish - showcasing their very own unique magnificence rather than just copying a style from somewhere else.​

Increasingly more, The style marketplace is observing a development of replicated patterns gaining traction, as more and more shoppers glance to add a novel touch to their wardrobe without the need of breaking the bank.​ Of course, the knock-off market place carries its share of very low top quality luggage, but even reproduction baggage occur in different grades now.​

It really is true that designer originals will normally continue to be originals, but the marketplace for knock-offs has grown substantially over the years, featuring the consumer bit of head though nonetheless having the ability to Specific their own personal design and style at a fraction of the fee.​ Individually, I feel there’s a specific appeal to the knock-off industry which can’t be denied.​ Every person would like to shave several hundred of the fee of buying a designer bag, so it’s Protected to claim that reproduction baggage are going to be all around for quite some time.​

As well as, There are tons of different opinions on the issue.​ A lot of people may well argue that buying knock-offs supports the unethical practices of price reduction shops, while others may possibly propose that it encourages creativeness and helps to deliver up the normal of vogue items.​ Some may very well be entirely indifferent for the issue, but No matter, it’s one thing well worth discussing and mulling over.​

At the end of the working day, All people has their unique impression on reproduction baggage, And that i’m no exception.​ Just as much as I’d want to avoid the knock-off industry, I’ll admit that there are occasions when I uncover myself waving for any taxi which has a duplicate bag by my side.​ Little question it’s a personal determination that every of us should make for ourselves, and I’m sure it’s a subject that will carry on to become the source of numerous debates.​

[silvergraphicmaker]

Mastering the Art of Networking: Tips for Finding Internships and Jobs

Are you struggling to find internship and job opportunities or unsure of how to start networking? If so, keep reading and discover a new world of possibilities!

Before I begin, I want to express my gratitude to my professor, Wendy, who has provided us with valuable opportunities every week to discuss marketing trends and consult with industry professionals and experts up close. These weekly case studies have introduced me to many new classmates, and through exchanging ideas with them, I have gained insights and perspectives that I never would have considered before. Now, I will share some helpful tips for networking!

1.       Be Confident and Do Not Be Afraid to Make Mistakes

As a naturally quiet and shy person, I used to become nervous speaking in front of others. Additionally, English is not my native language, so I worried that what I said may not be understood or might be confusing to native speakers. This fear of making mistakes caused me to miss out on many opportunities in the past. However, the small class sizes in the program at George Brown have given me more opportunities to collaborate with my classmates, and I have learned to overcome my fear of talking to unfamiliar people. This diverse and inclusive environment has helped me become more confident and less afraid of making mistakes. I am now comfortable showcasing myself in front of others, even if I make mistakes.

It is natural to feel nervous when speaking in front of others, but it is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. By being confident in yourself and your abilities, you can make a positive impression on others and demonstrate your value as a potential colleague or collaborator.

2.       Meeting New People Is Always Important

Networking is all about meeting new people and expanding your professional circle. By connecting with individuals from different backgrounds and experiences, you are exposed to new ideas, perspectives, and opportunities. This can help you develop a more well-rounded understanding of your industry, and can also help you identify areas where you may be able to contribute unique skills or expertise. Getting to know a group of like-minded friends has been the most helpful thing for me since I started this program. We come from different cultural and educational backgrounds, which means we may have different perspectives and opinions on a given topic. When I communicate with them, I often learn something new that I never would have thought of before.

By connecting with individuals from different backgrounds and experiences, you can expand your knowledge, gain new perspectives, and discover new opportunities. It is important to keep an open mind and be willing to learn from others.

3.       Being Active

Networking involves not only meeting new people but also being active and engaged in various events and activities. By being active, you are more likely to create meaningful connections that can help you in your career. Attending career fairs and academic events related to your industry or field of interest is a great way to meet new people and learn about different companies and brands. Participating in online networking platforms such as LinkedIn, Twitter, or industry forums is also important. By sharing your thoughts and opinions on relevant topics, you can showcase your expertise and attract the attention of potential employers or collaborators.

In addition, I joined LinkedIn’s digital media group. By joining the group, I can connect with other professionals in the digital media marketing industry, including potential employers, partners, and clients. I also can gain the access to industry insights, trends, and best practices, which can help you stay up-to-date on the latest developments in the field.

4.       Building a Long-time Relationship Instead of a One-time Relationship

Networking is a continuous process, and staying in touch with people you meet is crucial for building and maintaining relationships. I’ve always sent a follow-up email after interviewing with different hiring managers. By keeping in touch with them, I may gain more attention from them, and I may attract more people to this industry.

By keeping in touch, you can strengthen relationships, demonstrate genuine interest, stay up-to-date on the latest news and achievements, increase the likelihood of receiving referrals and recommendations, and gain access to valuable advice and mentorship opportunities. It's important to make an effort to stay in touch with your contacts regularly, whether through scheduled catch-ups, social media interactions, or other means of communication.

Conclusion

Networking is an essential aspect of career development, and it can be challenging to navigate. However, by being confident, meeting new people, being active, and building long-term relationships, you can expand your professional circle and find new opportunities. Remember to keep an open mind, be willing to learn, and stay in touch with the people you meet.

By keeping these tips in mind, I was able to land my dream internship, and I hope they can help you find your dream job too! If you want to talk more about networking skills with me, feel free to leave a comment below. Thank you!

[chilope]

listening to my boss pace around the lab yelling at someone on the phone that he "doesn't care what [their] doctor said, it is not okay to restrict down to 1200 calories a day, the doctor is wrong!"

[starshipsofstarlord]

There was a Girl...

Pairing | Jace Wayland x reader

Summary | When Clary becomes a shadowhunter, she notices how cold and ruthless Jace is. Every one seems to relate to his pain, not resonating at quite the same level. They’re all mourning nevertheless.

Warnings | Mentions of death, brief smut (handjob), angst, heartbreak, unrequited feelings (for Clary)

Requested ✖️

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

Opening your eyes, you awoke to Jace's chest, his blonde hair falling over his face. You preferred how it looked when it was a little bit scruffy instead of slicked back, and you reached for one of the hanging strands. They were like seams of gold, reflecting from the light that hid within him.

Most people had the wrong perspective on the young man, they only saw a well skilled shadow hunter. But they ignored the smart and witty, yet simultaneously charming person that he was underneath all of his runes. His parabatai Alec was familiar with the set of abilities that his brother figure had, and all that he would accomplish. People thought, because of Jace’s distorted, and confusing past, that he was just another warrior to serve whatever institute that he was sent to.

But in fact, he was not. His duty would always be, to put his family and friends first. He liked to put you on the top of the list, but you always felt the need to scrap that idea, claiming that you could not be his priority from start to finish. It was as though you knew what you future held for you, and how indeed, he could not manage to protect every person that he cared about. The prospect was a great responsibility, far too much for one shadow hunter, even if they be among the best of their kind.

To put such a weight on your own shoulders was defiantly cruel, it would always end in failure, no matter what was done to prevent said downfall. There was never a possibility of saving everyone, that was insanity. The monsters had to kill, in order for you all to remain outside of Idris, and continue on with your heaven sent duty.

“Jace?” You could tell he was awake from how he smiled at the sound of your voice. “Come on.” It was an attempt to encourage him, but you were quick to realise that it wasn’t working. He didn’t like mornings all that much, for good reason too, after all you were shadowhunters.

“Jace.” Your voice became louder and clearer, up to the point where it no longer sounded like your own. He looked away from the screen, to see the new girl watching him. She had an expectant glaze to her green eyes, which were much different from the shield that was covering his own. His pools were surrounded by a shadow of grief, pulling down the entirety of his face to the point where it looked as though he no longer wanted to live.

And that wasn’t entirely incorrect, he struggled at life, often never finding a moment of happiness, and if he did, then he would paint a smile upon his face and wear it to satisfy everyone else around. He had tried to cope with the loss that burdened his heart so gravely, yet nothing made it feel okay. You’d want him to move on, whether it be to lose his vengeful esteem concerning your passing, or find someone else to confide in late at night, to stay up with talking as his head rested upon the pillow, that he needed to wash, so it didn’t smell like you.

Or even, if not to share a bed with this new person, your overall plan as you sat with the angels above would be to find some kind of peace. But that appeared to be the last thing that he wanted as he digitally scoured the city of New York for monsters to uncover, and kill. If he couldn’t protect you, the love of his life, then he would settle for doing so with humans, after all, that had been the way that you had gone. The job had been your passion, yet simultaneously your downfall, and he’d be fine if one of these days he failed to tackle a beast, and it got to him first.

“Clary.” He greeted her, wanting to remove a dangerous monster from the streets by decapitating it. In memory, he would use your favourite blade, spilling blood upon its glowing stake to keep your legacy continuing, although, it did not do much but serve to release Jace’s frustrations. It was a day in which he wanted to speak to nobody, have nobody following him, nor asking him mundane questions about what it meant to be a shadowhunter. Hell, he didn’t even know! To him, the lifestyle was nothing more than accommodated anguish, though, he had been told not to promote it using those words, otherwise, there wouldn’t exactly be many people lining up to join the adverse fight.

And one of the people that he had in mind concerning excitement over a dire and ‘exciting’ lifestyle was Clary. She was naive, and whilst she didn’t know everything, today wasn’t particularly the day in which he wished to explain it to her. It, being predominantly anything. Whilst he had managed to be nice to her during the first few days, it was out of courtesy, considering Alec had an instant distaste towards the wide eyed redhead; he wasn’t sure why, but he supposed that Clary could see a detail of himself that was hidden from the others.

However, even through Jace’s welcoming exterior, was in pain. The feeling tormented him, denying him a break from the patronising pressure, leaving him to hold blame to nobody but himself. The hurt was cemented into his eyes, reflecting as he watched all other tragedies with a stone cold expressions, them hardly affecting him, because he had and was experiencing the worst routine of torture that was possible to him. He had watched you die, and nothing could take those horrific memories from him, no matter how much he wanted them gone.

That was the last time that he saw you. When you passed in his arms, a large wound in your abdomen pouring out with blood, drowning his desperate hands as he tried his utmost to put pressure on the life threatening injury. He wanted to save you but he didn’t know how, his training had always claimed that killing the monsters was more important than saving the life of a shadowhunter from an unknown bloodline. There had been nothing to prepare him for that day in the field, he was a fighter, and taught to be so, not a healer; he wasn’t a medic, he was just a warrior. “What do you want?” Blatantly fell from his round lips as he cast an eye towards the newbie, unimpressed by her timing, or her presence at all.

Clearly, she hadn’t received the memo to leave him be, especially today out of all the rest. Alec, having the personalised intel as to why Jace was emitting a solitary rut understood why he wished to be alone, and respected the space, granting him as much time to himself as he wanted. And whilst Alec was your friend also, he could feel the deep longing that was stabbing his parabatai in the chest, and it killed him too. Your death had been so unexpected, and now without you, there was a void within the institute. And the archer felt as though Clary was trying to fill it, and he saw that as nothing more than disrespect, though she was probably ignorant to the history that wandered the halls.

Her face revelled back at his tone, but nevertheless she continued on with her prying. “I was wondering if I could join you on the hunt, I’m getting better, Izzy even said so.” Jace refrained from rolling his eyes, and contained the feeling that was trying to burst out of his chest. It was anger, directed at everyone that was still alive, including himself. There was no fairness in it, to say that he was sad was an understatement, he was eternally devastated, the death of you had broken him, crumbled him into a figure that he no longer recognised.

“No, you can’t Clary.” He dismissed her, walking away, and going to grab his seraph so that he could hunt this sucker down, and bring upon the same kind of pain to its family as its kind had down to him. God, did you look badass as you swung it, and the thought alone had tears resonating in his unmatched eyes, thinking of how it was the last relic that remained of you.

Walking casually into the armoury, Jace had his hands prized in the depths of his pockets, as his expert and quick fleeting eyes focalised on you, and the weapon within your hold. Your body leant in harmony with the blade, the sound of it woosh-img in the air satisfying to all that could hear; that being only you and the Wayland boy.

“Can i not train in peace?” You groaned, lowering the blade whence you realised that you were being watched. The eyes trailed up your side where your shirt had ridden up, raking over the rune that you had drew upon your skin only this morning. A light laugh fell from Jace’s lips as he stalked forward, taking your seraph out of your hand, and going to lob it upon the ground, but the stern look in your eyes stopped him. Instead, against his nature, he placed it down as though it were made of glass, and rose to stand before you once more.

“Not when you look that good.” The blonde retorted with a sly smirk, sliding his hands up the sides of your hips, finding absolute solace in the feel of your skin. He could be against you forever, and he would not complain, so long as it did last for such a time. “Makes me want to do things to you y/n y/l/n. Terrible things. What would the heads think?” He asked, in reference to those that were in charge of the institute.

Stifling down remarked laughter at his sensually intended words, you raised your forefinger to the space above his brows, and poked him with enough pressure, so that he would pay attention to the notion. “That you’re not thinking with your own.” You went to cross your arms, but instead, Jace grabbed them, moving down to cast his hand over your own.

“Oh, I’m not.” The shadowhunter confirmed, placing your hand upon the crotch of his sweats, applying enough force behind his grip so that you could feel him twitching. “I am indeed having thoughts from elsewhere, would you like to see my sweet?” Licking your lips, you nodded, watching as he peeled the layer away, wrapping your hand around his base, and giving him a few jerks, feeling his pulse race through his cock.

“Tell me more about what you’re thinking my love.” You bit your bottom lip, fluttering your eyelashes up at him, only to reverberate a groan from the blonde male. He panted as your pace quickened, and he was almost certain that he was going to spray his jizz all over the floor if you did not uphold your sexual administrations. His head leant back, as pleasured sounds broke through the clenching of his teeth.

And then, it all stopped as a voice, dressed in absolute disgust, written over with unmotivated shock, interrupted your little exchange. “Really guys, this is a gym, not your damned bedroom. The two of you really are disgusting!” It was Alec, and he cringed at the fact that he had seen his best friend’s cock being stroked in your grasp. Yeah, he wasn’t going to be training today, or at least, not in the asserted place for it.

“Clary.” Izzy called her name, wearing a short lived smile. Whence she studied the expression of the redhead, she was quick to pay attention to the disappointment upon her face. There was confusion laddered in her skin, masking it with creased that made her look worried all at the same time. “What happened?” The Lightwood woman asked concerned, bracing a hand upon said girl’s shoulder.

“Jace snapped at me.” The newcomer informed her, frowning at the prospect, and then after all that, he had stormed off, as though she didn’t even matter. She felt well and truly rejected, like a newspaper that had been tossed in the street, and ending up in a horrible puddle. “I thought he might have liked me, but his attitude says otherwise.”

Izzy twitched her nose; she knew what day it was. There was no way to break it to Clary easy that Jace had no amorous emotions towards her, and so instead of being blunt with the new resident at the institute, she decided to tell the woman a story. “There was a girl...” she began, knowing that after all was explained, that Clary would understand.

[joe9cool]

COLLIDE- JUSTIN HERBERT- 2

It had been a couple of weeks since the wedding, and Justin made no effort to contact Sara. Figuring she probably just forgot about it. He had bigger things to focus on like the start of training camp.

He had managed to tune out the noise surrounding him. The experts had predicted an MVP season. Chargers making the Superbowl. Okay, maybe he didn't tune it all out.

It was day 4 of training camp and he had just finished an interview with the NFL network. It was exhausting, the media part at least. Justin just wanted to play football.

He had just finished a shower when he heard his phone ring. He answered it without looking, more than likely it was one of his brothers.

"Hey, man what's up?"

"Hi, Justin." He looked at his screen and that was when he noticed 'Sara' shit.

"Um hello, Sara. I wasn't expecting you."

"Did you just finish camp for the day?"

"Yes um. I'm getting ready to turn in."

"It's 7:30"

Justin didn't feel like playing games tonight. He just wanted to review tape for preseason games, even though he wasn't playing. "Why did you call?"

"I had a great time meeting you at the wedding and was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee. Maybe breakfast?"

That was weird. Justin was never used to a woman making the first move. Since coming to the NFL he had many girls in his DMs but none he was interested in.

Wait, was he interested in Sara? She was pretty, and they had a great conversation at the wedding, and she was famous.

Wait, famous? That means there would be cameras surrounding her every move. No way.

"Uh listen, Sara, It was great meeting you, however, I don't think going out in public together is a good idea. So I'm gonna pass.

There was a pause. Justin expected her to just hang up. Not being filmed was too much to demand of an A-lister.

"Well how about when you finish camp you can come over to my house and I'll cook dinner."

"Sara I don't think-"

"I promise I'm a really good cook. I'll make something healthy that follows your diet plan. I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Um sure, uhh it's going to be a while before I have free time."

"I'll text you details just let me know when you're free. So how was practice? Are you nervous or anxious for the season at all?"

Justin felt like he had whiplash, she just made a date with him and it's now turning into an NFL interview. "Uh yeah, a little. I think I'm just excited to play football."

"Oh I'm sure, I'm taking a little break from acting, but I'm ready to get back into it. My agent said I was offered a role in the Dune sequel. Still working out the contract, but I would love to work with Timothee again."

"Timothee?"

"Chalamet, I worked with him on Little Women a few years ago."

Justin found himself smiling "Yeah I've never seen that movie"

He heard Sara's laugh on the other end. "I am not trying to be conceited, but what films have you seen me in"

Justin tried to rack his brain. "I saw you in Bohemian Rhapsody. You did an excellent job on that. I only watch cult classics and Christopher Nolan films."

For the next hour, they talked about Christopher Nolan's films, it was almost like he wasn't talking to a celebrity. It just felt…. Right

When he and Sara hung up he found himself pulling up his schedule, looking forward to dinner.

—---------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, it would take a little time before their schedules matched. When Justin had no obligations Sara was caught up in a photoshoot and vice versa. They had a couple preseason games, which Justin didn’t play in. He understood it, but he wanted to get back on the field and it was frustrating being on the sidelines.

Which was what he was explaining to her at her home Saturday night. They were sitting at her bar drinking the wine he brought. Dinner was excellent, she was a really good cook. She had told her front gate security man to just let him in. Upon seeing her house, he had almost had a panic attack, wondering what he was doing here. Justin had been tempted to turn around, go home and block her on everything. But he would feel way too guilty, and he just couldn’t live with that guilt.

So after pulling into her driveway, he had a pep talk before he got out of the car. She was already waiting for him at the door, she gave him a big hug and reached on her toes to press a kiss on his cheek. All of which made him blush like a school boy.

He had helped her a bit, doing the chopping while mostly she spoke. He learned that while she excelled at art, she enjoyed sports rather than playing, she was the youngest of four girls, all of her sisters in successful careers and marriages with children. One sister was even married to a professional hockey player.

Justin wondered how she could be so open with him, they havent known each other long. Anytime she asked him questions he gave his media answer, during dinner, she had called him out for it.

“Justin I am not ESPN, you can talk to me ya know?”

“I know you’re not.”

“Then actually tell me about you, what do you like? I want to know fears, and all that.”

He started to relax with the couple glasses of wine he was having, so he talked about his family, his time at Oregon, stories that he would never share with someone he knew for a short amount of time, but Sara was different. It was comfortable, and for the first time, he was just a kid from Eugene, not a LA Athlete.

There were many girls who tried to use him for fame, one girl he was casually seeing kept purposely dropping obvious hints on social media and gaining attention on their personal life. Justin shut down quickly

They had lost track of time, and Justin didn’t leave her house til 1:00am. He made a promise to see her again. He thought of her the whole 20 min drive home, he thought of her before bed.

He found himself sending her a good night text.

* I'm going to try to speed up the chapters a bit. But let me know what you think and I'm open to suggestions

[irelandseyeonmythology]

Dia duit!

Thank you for sharing your adventures in Celtic Studies with us - I've greatly enjoyed hearing about the material from someone with experience in the field and I hope that you have been having a good time studying in the Gaeltacht recently.

This is not particularly mythology-related, but I have been wanting to learn some Irish myself and am not sure where would be a good place to start - would you have any advice/know of any resources that might be useful for a beginner student? I am going to look into classes after I finish my thesis this year but would like to do some self-study beforehand also.

Go raibh maith agat!

Dia is Muire duit!

I'm going to answer this as Bearla, because I think that it would be slightly sadistic to answer this as Gaeilge given the topic matter. The Gaeltacht's been lovely -- I really, really loved Ulster in particular, though I'm slowly coming around to Connacht (just in time to leave), and I've gotten to do a lot of work on the side re: folklore and mythology that I'm going to be really excited to share relatively shortly.

At this point, I would say I'm at an intermediate level -- I can write relatively well, at least to the point of making myself understood, I can read quite well, though my spoken and heard Irish is......questionable. (In all fairness, they come through a lot of practice.) I'm not an expert. That being said, I can give you a few tips for how I've gotten to where I am, at least.

First off: You want to choose a dialect to start off with. In my case, I was trained in Munster, so I have a very Munster pronunciation most of the time though spending a month in Ulster and Connacht's gradually broken me. (I say "goitse" when I'm trying to get someone to come with me, God help me.) Each one has its benefits and its drawbacks from an English standpoint -- Munster might be better if you have an Old Irish background, since it's more synthetic, more conservative in some ways, Ulster is a little out there, but it's more analytic, it's closer to Scottish Gaelic, and Connacht is similar to Munster in many ways but does its own thing. I will say that, in general, unless you go *hyper* regionalized, people will generally understand what you're saying no matter what -- Me speaking Munster Irish had no impact on how understandable I was in Connacht or Ulster, it just marked me out slightly. If you have any Irish ancestry, you might have done research to know where they would have been in the country, and you can make your decisions based on that. (Though you don't have to! I just know that a lot of people are learning Irish as a way of connecting with their ancestors and, if that's an angle you're approaching it from, that might factor into the dialect you choose. I do maintain that no one has to have Irish ancestry to want to speak Irish, since, otherwise, I'd be out of the drawing.)

You might also choose a dialect based on the linguistic programs you'll be looking into -- Personally, I can say, if and when I'm in a position to teach Irish on a formal level, which might be in about....a year or so from now, if I play my cards right...I'm probably going to be teaching them Ulster. Not because it will be EASY for me to switch dialects, but because I was deeply impressed with the immersion programs in Donegal and I'd like to get them in a position to go to those programs to polish their Irish once I'm done with them. Connacht, likewise, has some lovely programs. Munster has one, to my knowledge, but none that will offer you a grade to fulfill your linguistic requirements, if that's what you're looking for. I do have a lot of fondness for Munster, there are some Munsterisms you'll pry from my cold, dead fingers, it's probably my favorite of the provinces and the one I'd ultimately like to move to if I had the chance, but it's just the way things are laid out.

And I just went through that massive breakdown because what resources you choose to learn from, at least at first, will be heavily dependent on what dialect you choose.

And, unfortunately, a lot of Irish language books are as Gaeilge, which makes it very hard for an English speaker to get into this.

Munster: Gaeilge gan Stró - My muinteoir wasn't overly impressed with this when I was taking classes (note: He's a master linguist AND a native speaker of Munster Irish, so he is very big on grammar and the language being as proper as it can be, so his standards are quite high) and it probably caused more problems than it solved, but it's become the standard. (I remember so many conversations with my cohort that was taking the class with me that went along the lines of "GAEILGE WITH STRÓ. GAEILGE WITH SO MUCH STRÓ."

Teach Yourself Irish - This is an old book, from the 1960s, the Irish is dated to some extent, but there are worse resources out there and, in many ways, it holds up. (Also, it's available for free online.) I will say that, generally speaking, I preferred the way it was presented more here than in GGS, I kind of had wished at the time that this was the text we were using, but your mileage may vary.

Connacht:

Learning Irish - Mícheál Ó Siadhail -- I have no actual experience with this book, but it seems to be the major standard for Connemara Irish.

A Learner's Guide to Irish - Donna Wong -- This is a good general source to have to hand anyway, but it she did spend a ton of time in the Carraroe Gaeltacht in particular.

Ulster:

Buntús na Gaeilge - Barbara Hillers -- This was the standard used by Harvard for years.

I would also recommend, as resources, focloir.ie; tearma.ie; and teanglann.ie. Each one has a different purpose, all three are useful. Focloir in particular is useful for its extensive examples list, which cover a variety of situations that you can adapt as needed.

My best advice, though is...by all means, work hard, study it, read these books, but don't try too hard to force it into your brain. There were times I was sobbing about once a week, for several hours straight because I felt like I was stupid or inadequate, I felt like I was utterly worthless as a Celticist, as a student, and, tbh, as a person because I wasn't absorbing everything. Now...I'm still not an expert, but I'm working my way through things at my own pace. I'm not going to claim that I can read a lot, or that it comes as naturally to me as it could, but I'm enjoying the process, I'm enjoying writing in it, I'm enjoying speaking in it, when I can. The important thing is if people can understand you. It might take me a long time to attain fluency -- I might never achieve the fluency of a native speaker or even of some of my more linguistically gifted colleagues, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you enjoy the process. (Which is where, tbh, I feel like the modern Irish linguistic instruction has totally failed its students.)

Now, once you get the basics down, you'll want to immerse yourself in the language as much as possible. I love reading children's books as Gaeilge, I love playing video games as Gaeilge whenever I can (you CAN play Minecraft as Gaeilge now, if you so choose), I love watching TV shows as Gaeilge (Ros na Rún is unbearably cheesy but it's one of my go tos for studying because I can watch it with the Irish subtitles, then pause when I see a term or a construction I don't recommend, switch to English subtitles, write it + the translation down, and then go on. There are also whole episodes updated to Youtube) I've even been trying to do Dracula Daily as Gaeilge -- I have the 1933 translation on hand and have been trying to keep up with the entries as they come in. Not always faithfully, but I am trying. Everyone has something that they love, the trick is to use it. TG4 has a few shows available in the States (including, I believe....Ros Na Rún), you can listen to RTE to hear how the language is supposed to sound, you can join Discord servers (I know of several), etc.

Not an immediate suggestion, since I know you want to take classes and not everyone is made of money (or has a department willing to pay for them to do this sort of thing), but I do highly recommend an immersion course IF you can. Again, I want to emphasize: This isn't coming from the perspective of a spoiled, upper middle class academic: I know what it's like to not have money. I'm not suggesting this flippantly or lightly. And if you don't have it, you don't have it, and it doesn't say anything about how serious you are about the language. It just means you can't afford it. A year ago, I could *never* have made it to the Gaeltacht. That being said, I DO highly recommend immersion programs if you can -- overwhelmingly, they're taught by professors who have decades of dealing with students from different backgrounds and different levels of Irish, everything from people who are almost entirely fluent to people who have literally never had a word of Irish in their lives. I find that the classroom setting in the States can be stifling to this sort of thing -- I learn Irish better in Ireland, where I'm surrounded by it. If you can afford it, or if you are in a position to save up to afford it, I am perfectly happy to offer suggestions based on my personal experience.

And, of course, never forget my personal favorite seanfhocal: Is fearr Gaeilge briste ná Bearla cliste.

[ksenia-franz]

Odette is Felicie's mother

Well... I've been thinking about this theory for quite a long time, and I've been spent the same amount of time to write it down and publish it. And yet, after more than one month, I still undertake to publish it and share it with other fans.

First of all, I would like to express my gratitude to my dear friend — @hurryglow! Thank you for our long conversations, for your questions and discussions. Without you, this theory would have remained only in my head.

Today we will talk about a wonderful movie of French-Canadian production called «Ballerina».

I have a very, very biased attitude towards this movie. For me, it became a saving anchor when I needed it especially. It was this movie that became a breath of fresh air for me. So, in general terms, I'm more than delighted with it.

The theory that we will to analyze today is not even a single theory. It is rather a complex of small theories and observations connected by one common thread called «Odette is Felicie's mother». This is the main idea. And this is our starting point.

When I watched this movie for the first time, in an instant, watching the quite close interaction of Felicia and Odette, I thought: «What if Odette is Felicie's biological mother?» Looking ahead, I will say that I carried this thought right up to the end credits, and I didn't immediately realize that the movie didn't confirm my guess. I liked this idea so much that I was sincerely sure that it was infallible. But... the theory remained a theory. So I propose you to analyze it and think about how possible such an outcome would be in a movie and how many arguments confirming (or refuting) this theory we will find.

Well… It was all a lyrical intro, so now get to the point… Let's go!

Comparative analysis

What is the first thing that pushes any viewer to kinship between the characters? That's right, visual similarity. Let's see if, as an average viewer, I had grounds for this theory, or if it arose without foundation. Well, or we will adjust the canon to the theory. See how it goes.

For clarity and convenient comparison, I will attach photos.

Photo №1:

In my very subjective opinion, the similarity is obvious. They are similar. But, in order not to be unfounded, I will try to deal with this in detail.

First. I propose paying attention to the shape of the face.

Odette has a clearly expressed oval shape of her face, while Felicie is still more round-faced. And I was ready to count this point as a point refuting the theory. But…

Photo №2

Felicia is still just a kid. As you can see in photo №2, Felicia's face becomes more elongated as she grows older. Pay attention to the chin: over the years it has become quite sharpened. This makes her face seem slightly oblong. Although it's still rounded.

But at the moment (namely, at the time of the events of the movie) Felicia is still at the age when her facial features are not fully formed. And this gives us reason to believe that in a few years the shape of her face can become as oval as Odette's.

Second. Eyes.

Photo №3

Based on photo №3, we can conclude that Odette and Felicia have absolutely identical eye shape. Of course, I am not an expert in this field, but after a little digging on the Internet, I found a classification and, as I understood, it is these eyes that are commonly called round. Also, according to research by geneticists, genes most affect the corners of the eyes, but not the whole shape. However, there are cases when a child completely inherits the shape of the eyes of one of the parents. It's hard to say what the reason is. Geneticists are still thinking about this question. Nevertheless, based on these studies, we can safely assume that Felicie «hypothetically» could inherit the shape of the eyes from Odette.

Third. Let's talk about a smile.

To discuss this point, it is worth going back to photo №1 again. It's not for nothing that I took these two pictures for comparison. In this photo, you can trace the similarity of all the parameters by which we will compare Felicia and Odette. But the smile here stands out very vividly. I would even say that it is the same. Well, or almost the same. Both Odette and Felicia have it asymmetrical. At first I thought that the only difference is that Odette's smile is shifted to the right, and Felicia's smile is shifted to the left. But... then I remembered one very important detail and realized that even this difference does not really exist.

Photo №4

Photo №4 is the original picture with Odette, which I took for photo №1. As you can see, Odette in this picture is just an her image in a mirror. This means that the smile is mirrored, and in fact her smile is shifted not to the right, but to the left. Just like Felicie.

Actually, this is where I planned to finish the comparison, since I was going to consider only these three parameters. But recently I read an article, because of which I decided to say one more parameter.

So… Fourth. The final one. Ears.

A very strange parameter, right? But, as I said earlier, not so long ago I read an article that said that the shape of the auricle — like fingerprints - is unique for each person. In close relatives, it can be similar, but it will not be the same. An interesting fact is that the shape of the ears is inherited through a very difficult interaction of genes. Most of all, these genes affect the shape of the earlobe, but not the auricle itself. It is not uncommon when the shape of a child's ears is somewhat different from the shape of the parents' ears and can even resemble the ears of grandparents more. Nevertheless, the ears of parents and children often have common features. And in my personal opinion, if the shape of the auricles is unique for each person, then what is it if not a reason to think about the relationship of people with too similar ears?

Photo №5

Well... now, returning to the theory, take a look at photo №5. The auricles of Odette and Felicia are very similar. It is not the same. For example, in Felicia we can notice a wider ear canal than in Odette, and a more clear pattern of the auricle. While Odette's earlobe is more expressed than Felicie's. However, they both have a similar, rather rounded shape of the ears without any wavy or angular transitions. The earlobes, which is most interesting (since they are most affected by genes), are also very similar. As I said, Odette's earlobes are more expressed than Felicie's. But both they have earlobes are an intermediate shape: they are not fused, but also not completely free.

Thus, I think that Felicia and Odette are still very similar visually, which tacitly confirms my theory. And this is the foundation, because then we will discuss a string of issues that create the very «complex» of theories that I spoke about at the beginning.

However, it would probably be more correct to call it not a «complex of theories», but an addition to the main theory, since next I will answer questions that arose from me or from my friends with whom I discussed it, at a time when I was just thinking about this theory and looking for arguments for and against.

Question №1 «How can Odette be Felicia's mother if we were shown her real mother in the movie?»

To illustrate the example, I will attach photo №6, illustrating exactly what kind of Felicie's mother was presented to us in the movie.

Photo №6

As we can see, it's not Odette. Although this woman looks like her. There are many theories proving and explaining their similarity. But we will not stay on this in detail.

I would like to say one thing about this scene. It's a dream. I don't believe it's a memory because, as you can see, Felicie is still very young baby here.

Many scientists say that up to three years a person is not able to remember anything. Probably, the reason is the underdevelopment of some areas of the brain responsible for memory. In addition, there is the concept of «Childhood amnesia», characteristic of all people. This is a condition when a person cannot remember the events of infancy and early childhood.

So that's what I'm getting at… Based on all of the above, Felicie cannot remember this moment, especially in such detail. But she can invent it in her imagination and imagine it in her dreams.

Thus, it is not necessary to rely on the reliability of the visual image of her mother. However, my reasoning should also not be taken too literally. It's just a theory.

By the way, here I want to say a couple of phrases about hair color. The question about hair matured in my head first, but his answer is so short that I did not consider it necessary to take it out separately.

What exactly is the subject of reflection. Odette has dark hair, while Felicie has red hair. This difference is explained by a fairly simple genetic statement: every person has a red gene. That is, in fact, any person can have a red-haired child.

Thus, I consider this issue closed.

Question №2 «Why did Odette leave Felice in an orphanage?»

Thanks to a good friend of mine, I thought deeply about this question. In the movie, Odette is shown as a very kind and sweet woman, and she does not look at all like someone who will leave her child. However, don't forget about Odette's social status. What do we know about her from the movie? She's poor. And so much so that she is forced to work two jobs day and night to feed herself, not to mention the child.

From Odette herself, we learn that she has been working as a cleaner for ten years (plus or minus). From the mouth of Merant, we learn that she was once the best ballerina of her generation. And then there was a fire.

It is at this point that I would like to stop.

As we know from the movie, Odette is limping. This is not stated directly, but from all the facts that we see, we can conclude that a leg injury sustained during a fire to her lameness. After that, she couldn't dance anymore.

The movie takes place at the end of the XIX century. In those days, women's rights were not as broad as it is now. There have been attempts to establish equality, but it has not achieved tremendous results. So, as before, the main task of a woman was the birth of children and the maintenance of the family hearth.

As we know, Odette was not married. Being the best ballerina of the theater, she, for sure, could create decent living conditions for herself, even without having a husband. But not when she couldn't dance anymore.

Mostly men were appointed to the position of choreographers. Most likely, Odette simply did not have a chance to continue building a career in ballet, being lame. And this led Odette to poverty.

And now, let's think about when exactly the fire happened. As mentioned earlier, in the movie Odette says that she has been working as a cleaner for ten years. Assuming that it took 1-2 years to rehabilitate her. That is, approximately the fire happened 12-13 years before the events of the movie (plus or minus again).

And now is the time to ask the most important question. How old is Felicia? About 12-14 years, as I think. What if the fire happened at a time when Felicia was still an infant?

I don't know for sure what exactly happened to Odette (there are people who have created their own theories on this), but I assume that we were told about the fire for a reason. I think we are not dealing with simple fractures, dislocations, torn ligaments, etc. I think that, in addition, we are dealing with severe burn wounds, infection, a decrease in the volume of circulating blood, scarring, contractures and other list of possible complications.

Consequently, from the moment of the fire itself until the end of rehabilitation, Odette couldn't even take care of herself, let alone an infant. It is possible (only possible, since this is only a theory) that Odette herself left Felice in an orphanage. She was forced to do this because she herself couldn't provide the baby with decent living conditions. I think that, being in this position, Odette wasn't even sure if Felicie could survive if she stayed with her. She couldn't guarantee it for herself. Therefore, she would hardly risk the life of her child.

Personally, I think that this decision was not easy for her. I think she spent a lot of time thinking about all the plus and minus, because leaving her own child in an orphanage is the last and most terrible thing that can be done. However, between a lonely, unhappy life and a happy death, the choice is always made in favor of life. It is better for Felice to feel lonely and abandoned, but she will be fed, dressed and sleep in a warm bed, than she will die of hunger and cold, because her mother is seriously injured at this stage and cannot give her everything she needs.

If Odette had already been lame at that time, she would can have found another option to take care of the two of them, because that's what she does in the movie. But in the first months after the fire, when she can hardly move her fingers — no.

So, the choice is difficult, but it is obvious.

Question №3 «Who is Felicie's father?»

I don't like this question because, to be honest, I don't have an answer to it. I didn't think about it so much because it was more important for me to draw the connecting threads between Felicie and Odette. But more than one person asked me about it, and I realized that I should at least try to answer this question.

As I already said, I don't have a certain and unambiguous answer. And there is no subject of analysis, in fact, as such either. So the analysis of this issue will only be a flight of my imagination and my assumptions. Absolutely no authenticity or even hints of it. No analysis, just my imagination.

Since I am deeply love to the Odette/Merant couple, it is difficult for me to see someone else in the role of Felicie's father. But also, based on the movie, I can't imagine that Merant would leave Odette alone. In addition, it is difficult for me to reflect on the topic of this issue, since I do not know for sure what could be the reason for the birth of an illegitimate child at the end of the XIX century.

Now this happens quite often and by and large does not cause any condemnation from society. However, at the end of the XIX century, everything was exactly the opposite. We absolutely know that Odette and Merant were not married at the time of the events shown in the movie. So, assuming that Merant really was Felicie's father, she was still an illegitimate child. For what reason it is unclear. Unfortunately, I do not have the appropriate education to accurately state the norms of behavior of those times. But one day I came across a phrase mentioned in passing, the meaning of which was that artists were a little more free in their behavior.

If this is indeed the case, then perhaps Felice was born just at the moment when Merant and Odette were just planning to conclude their marriage. Perhaps at the time of the fire, Merant was on tour, which was supposed to last, for example, a couple of years. Perhaps he left before Felicie was born and returned much later, when Felicie was already in an orphanage. Perhaps after that, Odette pushed him away for many years, not wanting to become a burden for him. Perhaps for many years Merant felt deeply guilty in front of her for not being there on the day of the fire.

There are too many «perhaps» and too few facts. I propose to consider this answer only as the author's vision of the situation and only one of the possible scenarios, no more.

Question №4 «Did Odette know that Felicie was her daughter when she sheltered her?»

I think she didn't. Odette is not give the impression of a woman who will leave a child in a orphanage. If only in life-threatening circumstances. However, it is worth remembering that such a choice has forever settled a heavy burden on her shoulders. Once she made this decision, she lost her peace for the rest of her life.

She was always haunted by feeling of guilt. The fact is that all people are so arranged. When we make a choice, the outcome of which we obviously do not like, we tend to believe that the other option that we neglected was the right one. Even if we understand with our minds that this is not the case at all. But time is running out, and we can't check it. Therefore, in this case, the thought «What if» always haunts us. Odette could not have done otherwise, but it did not calm her down and did not deprive her of feeling of guilt.

There is no tension in the relationship between Odette and Felicie, which could be more likely to appear if Odette knew that she was her daughter in front of her. A certain lightness can be traced in their relationship.

But I think Odette might have assumed it was possible. I mean, Odette probably always remembered her daughter. She was constantly thinking about her and saw her in every child who caught her eye. I think that every time she looked at some child, she involuntarily thought: «What if it's my daughter»? So I think she had that thought, but she never knew for sure.

Honestly, I think Felicie would be the one who guessed their relationship. I think that soon or late she would have realized this and she would have been the first to start a conversation with Odette. I think it would take her a while to realize and accept this for herself. But, having arranged all this information in her head, she would have understood the possible causes of these events and would have wanted to listen to Odette. That's why Felicie would tell her that she guessed everything. And that would terrify Odette, because she was already attached to Felicie, and she would be afraid of losing her. And as a result of the revealed mystery, this fear would become much stronger. But Felicie's willingness to listen and understand the situation would have calmed her down a little.

Conclusion

Well, now that we have analyzed this theory, I can say that for me it still has good reasons for existence and has a string of supporting arguments. I think that such a scenario could well be real. I don't know if I managed to prove my point, but I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this. Try to rewatch the movie, keeping this theory in mind. What do you think about it? What thoughts do you have when watching? Do you agree with this theory at all? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

I hope you had a good time reading this post!:)

[loki-zen]

Self Dx

was going to post this in response to something, but realised it was Very Tangent:

Something I think is important to remember in the whole mental illness and neurodiversity self Dx debate is that both self Dx and professional diagnosis cover a lot of ground.

For example, I believe that I am genuinely at least as qualified to help my friends work out if they might have ADHD as the clinician the NHS would likely eventually send them to is.

What that clinician will do is ask them, and ideally also someone who sees them regularly (like a partner), and someone who has known them since they were young (like a parent or sibling) to fill out what are basically some specific more sophisticated versions of those online multiple choice quizzes that tell you if you might have ADHD. They will then assess the results according to the rubric, as well as asking questions and exploring things brought up in the questionnaires to get a more holistic view of the patient or incorporate ‘tricks’ they learned somewhere or another that can give useful information but which aren’t part of an official test - for instance, to find out if someone has, through recreational use, discovered they have specific kinds of unusual reaction to stimulants that are common in ADHD people.

They will then compare the overall answers to what their experience and schooling tells them ‘ADHD’ looks like, and make a judgement call. It’s as simple as that. (In an ideal world they might also investigate other potential causes of the symptoms and screen for common comorbidities* like autism)

It is necessary that the doctor understand the screening tools and how to use them, and have knowledge of ADHD.

I understand the screening tools and how to use them, and they and their rubrics are readily available online. I have at least as much formal knowledge, frankly, as the psychiatrists the NHS generally employs in this capacity (who spent all their schooling on mental health then took like a six week CPD course on ADHD basically), and much more experiential knowledge of what it’s like from the inside and out. I might not have met as many ADHD people as them, but I have understood the still quite considerable number and variety apart from myself that I have known far better and more deeply than NHS doctors have time to. I am also, crucially, not poisoned by the Medical Model of Health into having a warped viewpoint on all of this aware of how it typically presents in AFAB people in ways that they aren’t (or, to make a claim that’s in no way controversial [although doctors not knowing about the AFAB thing is pretty well established at this point]), I am spending more than twenty snatched and stressed minutes on this, during which I definitely won’t mix them up with another patient, or consider the fact that my bosses would really like me to screen more people out of receiving support.

‘Self Dx’ contains people who have received the attention of someone like me, or done the kind of research I have done, as well as people who are being trendy or in some way attempting to scam their way into sympathy or support.*

‘Professional Dx’ contains people who saw a genuine specialist who took his time and fully investigated the matter, like I was lucky enough to have the chance to, and people who really just took a test that you have access to online right now and had it graded by someone with the right letters after their name.

The culturally- and legally-sanctioned professionals - especially the average relevant Qualified Professional that you are actually likely to meet, but even sometimes people at the top of their field - are not necessarily the actual experts on some medical conditions and/or neurotypes, and they are not the experts on some aspects of nearly all medical conditions.* Discussion of these topics which - perhaps due to the participants’ good fortune in their experiences of health and/or of medical professionals - fails to take this into account is incomplete.

*I don’t like ‘comorbidities’ in this context because its implications are at best complicatedly true, but it’s the term in use and I couldn’t think of another single-word term for what I meant

*and good luck with that frankly; me and my professional diagnosis are still looking for this mythical pot of sympathy and resources that people are supposedly faking to access

*obviously, for instance, educated patients usually know best regarding what it’s actually like to have a condition and what coping strategies and so on actually help and are viable. But additionally there are also facts many aren’t aware of such as ‘your pharmacist is probably the expert on the medication you are taking/your nurse is probably the expert on wound care, not (in either case) your doctor.’

[multiplefandomfics]

Kidnapped

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!reader

Warnings: Dubcon, smut, A/B/O dynamics, age gap, underage, forcefully induced heat, mind control, hypocrisy, breeding kink, knotting, trauma, hydra

Words: 3615

A/N: Hi guys, so this is my first attempt at ABO. I’ve read a lot of those so I hope I’ll get this right. So don’t be too hard on me. And now enjoy.

Omegas had become almost extinct. More and more kids were born who turned out betas and the rest were almost always alphas. So maybe it is easy to understand that when you turned out to be an omega at the age of 17 your value to your mother suddenly skyrocketed. 

Your other siblings were all betas but you were suddenly special. The first heat your body put you through was a terrible strain on your body and took a lot of strength from you. A whole week was spent in delirium between fever and hallucinations. Your mother, a beta herself, had no idea how to help you and asked your family’s doctor for help.

He was very interested in you and your presentation and handed your mother a number to call. 

A week later two very polite men who looked like they had fallen out of a 1940s crime movie, stood in front of your door. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N? You have contacted us to take a look at your omega daughter?” the taller of the two asked.

“Yes. Please come in. We are in desperate need of advice. Her first heat was so terrible and I don’t know what to do if this gets even worse.” The men followed your mother to the livingroom and took the seats offered to them. 

“Our facility is very well equipped and we are very skilled in dealing with young omegas. We would be able to monitor her closely and give her the right suppressants to quell her natural heats.” one of them explained. 

“So you would take her with you?” your mother sounded sceptical. “Would we be able to see her? And when would she return home?” she asked.

The men shared a glance before continuing “She will be able to call once in a while and we will try our best to get her hormones in check and her home quickly.” the man ensured her. 

Your mother hesitated and the men noticed so they changed their tactic. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N. Your daughter is suffering badly and it will only get worse. We are the only ones who can actually help her. There aren’t a lot of experts in the field of A/B/O dynamics left. We definitely are your best shot. And if it helps to convince you, we can pay you handsomely for taking your daughter and giving her a shot at a normal life. How does 250.000$ sound?” your mother almost choked on her tea. “You want to pay me a quarter million dollars for her? You think I would sell my own daughter?” she was enraged, jumping up from her chair. “I want you to leave my house immediately.”

“Consider our offer for a moment please. We could help your daughter and learn from her case and you could finally sell off the mortgage to this house. We know that if you don’t take our money now you will have to move out soon. Do you want to move into a 3 room apartment with 4 children?” They knew a lot about your family which irritated your mother but she also quickly understood that they were right. 

After your father had died in Afghanistan 3 years ago it had not been easy for your family.

As a single mom of 4 and just a part time job at a dentist's office she worried greatly how to make a future for them. The money from the strange men would take a lot of those worries away from her. 

“Maybe you are right. She will come back to us quickly, right?” she asked to quell her guilty conscience.

“Of course, Mrs Y/L/N. She would be back in no time at all. We are very successful in what we do.” the men knew they had her in their grasp. 

“Alright then. I will go upstairs and explain everything to her and then I think it is best when you take her immediately.” she got up and went upstairs.

A few moments later they heard yelling and then crying from upstairs. But suddenly it was quiet. 

Another few minutes later you stumbled down the stairs, cowering behind your mother who held a duffel bag with some of your clothes and personal things. 

“Hello Y/N. How are you feeling?” the taller man smiled at you.

“I’m okay, thank you. So I will go with you?” she asked back. “And you can help me with my biology?” You seemed very innocent to the men and they were sure that you had no idea what your intended purpose was in this world. 

“Indeed we will make you more comfortable with your presentation. You will be able to return home quickly.” they ensured you too.

“Alright then.” you gave in. “Tell Joe, Lea and Maya that I love them and I will see them soon.” you instructed your mother and she nodded with tears in her eyes.

The men lead you to their car. The whole ride was silent. You looked out the window and saw landscapes passing by. The driver took so many turns that it didn’t take long for you to be completely confused and you had lost your orientation. 

The journey seemed to take forever and at some point you closed your eyes and fell asleep. 

You awoke disoriented and confused. You were laying on a bed in a sterile white room without a window but an adjoined bathroom. You sat up slowly to take in more of your surroundings. When you had decided to venture out further you noticed that the door was locked. You were trapped. Panic rose in your veins. What did that mean? Was this a kidnapping? 

Just when you were about to have a mental breakdown the door was unlocked and a man you had never seen before stepped inside. 

“Hello Miss Y/L/N. How are you feeling?” he asked you.

“Y/N is fine. I’m okay but why was the door locked?” you asked hesitantly.

“We didn’t mean to startle you. It was to your own protection. The compound we are currently in is comparable to a labyrinth. We just didn’t want you to get lost. Someone is going to come by later and give you a tour of the rooms you need to know. I am here to check out your vitals and ask you some questions. Is that alright with you?” He seemed nice enough.

“Ehm, yes it’s alright, I guess.” you sat back down on the bed while he took a seat on a chair. 

“Very well, how long ago was your first heat?” Those kinds of questions seemed very personal but after all they wanted to help you.

“My first heat was about 2 weeks ago. It was awful. Hurt so much and lasted about 6 days.”

“Good, that is interesting information. Have you been intimate with a male before?”

You swallowed thickly “No never.”

“So no potential alpha around?”

“No.”

“Good, good. Is someone in your family an omega?”

“No, I am the only one as far as I know.”

“That is quite rare. Normally this is hereditary. I will take your pulse, blood pressure and temperature now.”

After the doctor had left someone came and took you to a room where you were served some dinner.

The night you spent tossing and turning. So many thoughts coursed through your head until you fell asleep of exhaustion. 

You were rudely awoken by the cold neon lights being turned on. They ripped you out of a nice dream and you inwardly cursed them for it. 

“Good morning Y/N. Did you sleep well?” the voice of a tall blonde female doctor- or agent, or whatever, you were still not sure where these people belonged to- reached your ears.

“Good morning. I had some trouble sleeping. I felt somehow on edge. Probably the new surroundings.” you shrugged.

“That is possible. I need you to get dressed. Breakfast is ready and then we will start with your training and testing of different medications.” she smiled and you did as she asked.

Breakfast consisted of fruit and porridge and then they took you into the opposite direction of your room. 

You were led down multiple corridors until you reached a doctors room. 

“Hello Y/N. Please remove your shirt and lay down.” The doctor said. She was the first person in this organization who smelled different than the others you had met. Everyone else had a neutral scent other than her and it wasn’t a perfume but you couldn’t place it and let it go for now.

“So you are an omega.That’s why they brought you to me. I presented as an omega too when I was 16 years old. My biology dictated my life for years and that’s why I am quite happy that we can make it easier for you before it gets too bad to handle.” that explained the different smell.

“I don’t want to sound rude, but you are not on suppressants right?” she shook her head no. “I thought you smelled different. So that’s one of my superpowers as an omega?” you joked.

“Indeed it is. Do you have any more questions?” she saw your hesitation. “Don’t be shy. You can ask me anything.”

“Ehm… well during my first heat… I felt really hot and I had those very explicit fever dreams and then my body produced this… fluid out of my… ehm… you know.” you pointed toward your groin.

“Yes, I know what you mean. When you are in heat your body longs for a mate. Preferably an alpha to satiate your natural urges. The slick that your body produces is only a natural lubricant to make it easier for the alpha to slide in without hurting you.” she explained.

“So my only purpose in this world is basically to mate and give a few children to some alpha?” you asked unbelievingly.

“Not necessarily. We could find the right meds and suppressants for you and you could live your life alone until you decided it was time for a family or not. Your choice.”

“I like the way that sounds. So when do we start?” you asked exited.

“We will start right now. I am going to administer your first shot of a medication which will make you feel better.” 

She put on some latex gloves and prepared a syringe with a clear fluid.

“Alright, don’t move now please. I will give this right into your upper arm muscle.” said done. It stung a little but if that actually worked it was definitely worth it.

“All done. I will bring you back to your room now. These meds need some time to settle and you might feel a little uncomfortable later.” 

When you had arrived at your room she sent you inside with the words -“Someone will have an eye on you the next few hours. I will see you soon.” and locked the door behind you again. For your own protection they had said…

Before you had time to think about all of this your head hit the pillow and you were fast asleep. 

The next time you woke up you were in terrible pain. Your abdomen was cramping and your throat was bone dry. That could only mean one thing: the heat was back. But that should have been impossible. It wasn’t due for another 2-3 weeks. But here you were, sweating, hurting and in desperate need for something you weren’t ready for.

You didn’t even get the chance to get out of bed before the door flew open and two men grabbed you to pull you behind them. You were too weak to fight them when they pushed you into another cell which looked almost the same as yours. Only in that one someone was waiting for you.

The moment you were pushed into the room his eyes shot toward you, almost hidden under his shoulder long brown hair. His nostrils flared as he took in your potent scent.

“Omega.” he breathed and his pupils dilated.

He looked downright feral so you shrunk into the corner next to the closed and locked door. Though he really tried to hold himself together. You knew that he wanted to give into these primal urges the omega in you tried to push you to, too. 

Suddenly he wiped the hair off of his face and you had a first clear glance at his handsome face. And to your amazement you recognized him from your class trip to the Smithsonian Museum in Washington D.C. the year before. 

His name was James ‘Bucky’ Barnes and he had fought in the 107th infantry in WWII. He had also been Steve Rogers- or as most people know him, Captain America’s- best friend and later part of the Howling Commandos. The only thing that didn’t add up here was the fact that he was supposedly dead since 1943. 

But you were so sure that the man standing before you was not a ghost as much as you were sure that he was not the same man who had gone to war in the 40’s. 

“James?” you whispered. He cocked his head so he must have heard you but he didn’t know what to do with your question.

“You are James Barnes born on March 10th in 1917. You don’t remember?” you asked in a louder voice.

“No.” he tried to sound secure but you could hear his voice slightly wavering. 

You wanted to help him so you took the risk and stepped closer. It might seem strange, standing in front of this intimidating hunk of a man, and feeling safe. The pain in your body had also almost disappeared. 

“What do you remember?” you asked him. He seemed really nervous by now, always trying to scent you.

“Pain. Missions. Training.” was all he said and you felt really bad for him.

“I am sorry to hear that. Do you want me to tell you everything I can remember about you? Maybe you will gain back some memory. And maybe you can tell me who these people are and why they forced me into heat early.” in that moment another terrible cramp invaded your lower abdomen and your legs gave out. But before your body could hit the ground his arms caught you and he carried you to his bed.

“Mhh omega you smell delicious. Can barely hold back.” he mumbled into the crook of your neck and you felt it too. The tall alpha seemed to somehow soothe the ache inside you but it wasn’t enough. 

In that moment you just let the omega in you take over. You started pulling frantically on his and your clothes until they were lying long forgotten on the floor of the dusty room.

“Need you ‘mega. You’re mine.” he growled at the sight of your boobs.

“Alpha please make it stop.” you whimpered and he growled louder at you calling him by his presentation. 

You let your biology completely rule you and followed your instinct. Crawling onto your hands and knees pushing your face into the pillow and your ass in the air. 

“Good omega. Presenting for your alpha.” his approval made you mewl.

He was quick to get behind you. In this state there was no foreplay needed. 

His right hand grabbed your buttcheek. It was soft and warm. When the index finger of his left hand followed your spine from the neck down you shuddered at the cold metal. 

“Tell me ‘mega, have you ever been with an alpha?” he asked while stroking a flesh finger through your glistening folds.

“No alpha. Haven’t been with anyone.” the realisation that you were a virgin let him hesitate for a second.

“Mhh I’m gonna make that virgin pussy feel so good. You want my cock ‘mega?”

“Yes, alpha please. Make the pain stop.” you begged him.

He took that invitation and slowly pushed the head of his massive length against your opening. “Relax ‘mega. I won’t hurt you.” his pressure got harder and then he slid in. The pain was intense for a moment until he slid in further. It felt like your channel was made for him. 

“Fuck doll you’re tight. Squeezing me so good. Gonna breed you ‘mega. You want that? Me filling you with pups.” he groaned and your channel squeezed him tighter in confirmation. 

In that heat of the moment none of you cared that this might be a bad idea.

He sped up his thrusts and your moans got even louder when he hit that magical spot inside you. 

“Feels so good.” you mewled.

“Come ‘mega! Come for me!” he commanded and something that had waited for his okay snapped. Your pussy clamped around him and he pushed in that bit deeper. His knot popped and he filled you with his cum all the while pulling you up with his metal arm across your chest and biting into your neck hard enough to break the skin, laying claim to you.

When you both had come down from your highs he rolled you over to lay on your side. He was still locked snug inside you and that would probably stay like that for a while. 

“You wanted me to tell you why they brought you here. The answer is for this exact cause. They want to keep me- or rather my alpha- in check. And they want to find out if the serum can be inherited.” he suddenly spoke up after a long pause.

“And do you want them to do that?” your question seemed to shock him a little.

“I didn’t expect that question. No one has ever asked me what I thought. And no! If we have pups I don’t want them to be treated the way I was. We would never know what happened to them.” he said sadly.

“Then let’s get out of here.” His knot had finally gotten down which gave you enough room to turn around.

“How? I may be able to vanish on my next mission but I won’t be able to take you with me.”

“Then play the part. They don’t know that you remember who you are. So when you get out of here the next time you get help and get me out later.”

“And who do you think would help me? A murderer.” he let his head hang low. 

“Steve Rogers. He was found a few years ago and has most recently been working with a group of people who call themselves The Avengers. I know you have the possibilities to find Steve and get him onto your side to help. Until then you will have to pretend you are still the brainwashed assassin they created because if they notice you will be put on ice or erased again.”

“I gotta admit that does sound like a plan. I will try everything in my power to succeed. I promise that I will get you out of here. Unscathed. You are my omega now. That means something to me.” he kissed the top of your head. 

“Thank you- Bucky. Is it fine when I call you that while we are alone?”  you asked him.

“Yes sure. I love when you say my name.” and then he gifted you with one of his rare smiles. 

The next few days were spent almost the same way. Until your heat was down. They took him away from you and you didn’t see him for at least 6 weeks. Hard to keep track of time without daylight.

They had brought you back to your room and you didn’t see any of the old doctors you had seen before your forcefully induced heat. They probably thought you would attack them. 

In week 7 they finally found out that their plan had worked. You were indeed pregnant. Oh, how you wanted to tell Bucky but everytime you asked for him they shut you down.

More weeks passed by. They didn’t tell you anything. Not even about the baby. 

By esteemed week 22 you were able to feel the pup kicking in your tummy and you were talking to him or her. You missed Bucky more and more. Up to the point where you thought they had wiped him again and he had failed your mission. 

One night you were awoken by chaos outside your door. Before you could get up the door bust in and in the frame stood Captain America himself. The relief you felt in that moment could hardly be measured. 

“Captain Rogers. I’m so glad to see you.” you expressed your feelings.

“Good to meet you Y/N.” he smiled at you then spoke into the comms inside his ear “I’ve got her. Room 503. She’s fine.” then he came over and insisted on carrying you out of the building. 

Somewhere on the way to the Quinjet you met Bucky again.

“Bucky! You`re alright! Oh, thank God. I missed you. And I’m pregnant. We did it.” you beamed at him.

“You’re alright too. I love you. Let's get you home.” he took you from Steve’s arms and carried you inside the jet.

A few months later you and Bucky moved into an apartment with your son and daughter.

[johannstutt413]

(requested by calligomiles; continuing from this)

“Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!” Ptilopsis’ head peered into Olivia’s room as her alarm sounded. “Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!”

“I’m awake, I’m awake.” Not that she particularly felt it, but she was getting out of bed nonetheless.

Tilly giggled to herself. “Ifrit already left for class. She ate all of her breakfast, including the seconds she requested.”

“Impressive.” The drowsier Liberi had found her glasses and now much less blind began to dress for the lab. “Thank you for taking care of her. If I can find the time to learn to cook, I should.”

“Dr. Silence already works so hard to save the world, though. Ptilopsis has no objection to supporting her in that endeavor however necessary.” Although admittedly, it was an element of her daily calculation.

Silence shrugged on her topcoat before hugging the mid-number-crunching analyst. “I’ll be helping Iffy with her project tonight. Saria said she might come by for a bit as well to pitch in, but I won’t be upset if you go home with her.”

“Understood.” Mostly. “Firewall temporarily disabled. I’ve noticed the two of you talk more with each passing day, but this is the first I’m hearing of you allowing Saria to see Ifrit.”

“Her project is more focused on the skeletal system than anything else, and I think Saria’s substantially more familiar with that field of anatomy than I am...Besides, she’s proven herself with how she treats you.”

Ptilopsis blushed. “Oh.”

“I know it’s taken me some time to admit it,” the doctor continued, following her beloved to their waiting breakfast, “but after all the time she spent working for and with Iffy, it’s not fair for me to keep them separated. She did what she thought was best, and regardless of whether I agreed with or agree now with her decisions, they were made with good intentions. Sorry to start the morning like this.”

“It’s fine. Ptilopsis is glad you continue growing as a person.” She hadn’t declared that she’d re-erected her firewall, but it was clear from context.

They ate breakfast after transitioning to talking about their business for the day - patients with scheduled visits, the other Medics on rotation for their shift, their usual morning briefing - but before they left for the office, Olivia pulled her close for another hug. “Thank you. I couldn’t do this without you.”

“‘This?’” Tilly temporarily halted her work protocols. “In what context?”

“Raising Ifrit, attending to Rhodes Island’s Infected, researching Oripathy, deploying on missions...You make my life possible.” She managed to catch herself before crying properly, but a stray tear rolled down her face and onto the analyst’s jacket.

The other Liberi twittered sweetly in her ear. “The same is true for me.”

“It is?...Thank you.” A brief collapsing of the little space between them, a kiss that lasted either seconds or years, and Rhine Labs’ former Oripathy expert was ready to start the day. Work went as expected through lunch, with patients and care plans and the occasional accolade or scolding of some Operator or another. When the Liberi lovers came back from the cafeteria, however, a familiar Vouivre was waiting for them.

“Good afternoon.” Saria was in business mode. “The Doctor needs me to deploy for a mission; I need a pre-deployment exam.”

Silence nodded. “Ptilopsis can take care of you.”

“...If it’s all the same, can we all talk in the exam room in private?”

“Hmm.” The doctor glanced at Tilly, who was rebooting quickly after a momentary blue screen, before nodding. “If you prefer.”

The trio took the nearest open room, and as the analyst performed the exam, the Vouivre got down to business. “I made notes for Ifrit’s presentation, but since I won’t be there to help, I sent them to both of your inboxes. There’s more than enough information for her to ace her assignment.”

“Thank you. I’m sure she’ll be happy to tell you how she did when you come back.” There was no question that she’d be coming back, after all.

“...Which brings me to my other point.” She sighed, taking a moment to collect herself. “When I come back, I’d like to have a full discussion, all parties involved, about setting a schedule for me to spend time with Iffy.”

Silence lived up to her codename as Ptilopsis carried on dutifully with her task, doing her best to ignore the conversation and focus on procedure. “I...I think that’s a good idea.”

“You do?” Saria’s heart rate, as measured by the device her examiner was using to measure it, betrayed her surprise.

“Yes.” Olivia made sure she didn’t respond with the other phrase that came to mind. “I isolated her from you, and the rest of the world, out of a hyperbolized sense of danger. Not that there weren’t genuine concerns for her well-being, but in keeping her under lock and key like I was, there’s a possibility I did more harm than the good I intended. I’m not the only person in her life who’s made rash decisions out of good intentions, and it’s hypocritical of me to keep pretending that my mistakes are justified when others weren’t.”

The Defender sighed. “So it’s still a mistake, then.”

“I think so...but I’m learning to admit when I might be wrong.”

“I see.” This’d turned out better than she’d thought it would. “Tilly?”

The Liberi took a breath before shifting her attention. “Yes?”

“When I said ‘all parties,’ that includes you.” The Vouivre looked her directly in the eye.

“Understood.” Ptilopsis shut down her defenses for a moment. “Why?”

That was a rare question to hear from her; the analyst was much more a ‘how’ and ‘when’ sort of person. “Because you’re part of her family, too. You deserve a say.”

“But I don’t have any concrete opinion on the matter. I’m happy you’ll be able to spend time with her, but the specifics are up to you and Olivia.” It was a good thing she was essentially done with her examination; this was going to eat up most of her processing power, she could already tell.

“Tilly,” Silence interjected, “it does affect you, though. You’re very careful with how you spend your time, and Saria and Iffy spending more time together will affect your calculations.”

She nodded. “It will.”

“So if we set a schedule that makes it harder for you to make those calculations, that’s not fair to you. We know how hard it is for you-”

“No. You don’t.” The analyst looked each of them in the eye in turn. “But that’s okay.”

The room around Olivia and Saria disappeared from their awareness as Ptilopsis reactivated her defenses and continued her work. It wasn’t until she finished that the Vouivre had any kind of follow-up, which was lifting her off her feet in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for-”

“Oh, cut the bullshit, there definitely is.” The Defender set her down but kept her arms around her. “Every time we get into a fight or try to reconcile, we disrupt your life at a deep emotional level, and even if it’s better for us to try and get along, you get dragged along behind us in the process. We know your condition, but we don’t how it feels - you’re the only one who does. That doesn’t mean you have a right to lash out, but you do have the right to speak up, and we want to hear you.”

Tilly couldn’t keep walls up in the face of that. “Ptil...I know that, love.”

“Then take my apology for springing this on you in the middle of the week.” She held the Liberi’s gaze even as her vision started to blur.

“O-okay.” The analyst sighed before wrapping her arms behind Saria’s neck and pulling down slightly for a kiss. “You’re forgiven.”

The Vouivre let her go. “Thank you.”

“You are too, dear,” Ptilopsis continued, addressing Silence as she walked over to hug her as well.

“Thank you...and I’m sorry.” The doctor squeezed her like she had that morning. “We never explicitly said we would stop making these kinds of changes, but we did imply it a few weeks ago.”

The other Liberi shook her head. “Data changes, people change, and life goes on. Ptilo...I want you both to be your best, your happiest, and if that means chaos, then- Firewall engaging, overriding, halting process- then so be it. I need to be better, too. I’m sorry you had to hear the Other Voice.”

“You’ve held it at bay for years,” Saria noted, walking over to hug her from the opposite side. “That can’t be easy, especially with everything that’s happened.”

Olivia nodded. “Certainly not...I believe the Doctor is expecting you, Saria?”

“Unfortunately. I should probably be on time for the shuttle.” As she let go of Tilly, her hand accidentally touched Silence’s. The doctor said nothing. The Defender said nothing.

Ptilopsis made a note to record that in her diary that evening.