#'we can't keep doing this' well ok everything went from silly to sad in an instant

[drawbauchery]

Crisis to Crisis

(fic by cartoons-tothemoon)

Skipper was beginning to think that his reputation was being tarnished.

Well, maybe not completely disregarded, but his men have been giving him more back-talk lately. He’d have to fix that.

Somehow.

He was beginning to wonder how he even kept such a tight lid on his squadron in the first place.

Rico was a loose cannon, but vaguely amiable as long as he got his daily dosage of kaboom, Julien, and sushi, one of the three anyhow…

…Kowalski was incredibly smart, but he was also incredibly dumb and emotional which practically necessitated a sturdy rock in his eternal stormy sea of…whatever emotional labor he was going through this week. Someone to guide him, and earn approval from.

Private probably only listened to him to be nice, now that he thinks about it. Or because Skipper has this natural confidence that gives him his natural leadership qualities, but Private seemed to be incredibly cheeky as of late, and Skipper could only imagine why.

He had become more confident as of late, ever since Julien gave him his old clothes that seemed to frame his body better than his old, more conservative wardrobe.

Not that Skipper ever thought of what clothing frames anybody’s body for that matter. Except maybe Miss Kitka’s because, uh, wow…

He was just being objective, is all.

That’s an important trait in a field agent, after all, the ability to take an objective perspective on anything that may pertain to the scenario at hand, be that Geneva Convention-violating torture, or Private’s soft stomach, that peeked out of most of the clothing he wore nowadays.

Look, with “King” Julien around, business had slowed down a bit. Sure, they tangled with Blowhole and Savio every once in a while, but at the moment, that was more on a weekly basis than every other day like it used to be. This gave Skipper a lot of time to think, when he wasn’t washing dishes or entertaining the day’s newest crisis.

Today he was doing both.

“Guys look, Rico’s on the telly!” Private cried, in his “it just has to be fake” British accent.

Speaking of his aforementioned majesty, apparently he had run out of ibuprofen. Skipper didn’t know why it was such a big deal, but he didn’t get half the things Ringtail did anyhow. He was an enigma, but like, annoying about it.

On Rico’s side of things, Kowalski, Private, and him watched entranced as Rico went from simply robbing the three drug stores closest to their base to stealing a delivery truck. A highly specific delivery truck, at that. Then puppies got thrown into the picture.

“Puppies?” Private exclaimed, his voice filled with pure joy at such a thought. Just think of it! 90 puppies! Retrievers, labs, beagles, corgis, huskies…He’d be practically drowning in the fluff! It would be sublime!

However, Kowalski and Skipper’s thoughts were elsewhere. Very clearly elsewhere.

For one, Kowalski was wondering what to do with that many dogs. There’s no way their base would have enough space for 90 dogs. He wouldn’t even say they have enough room for two, though.

Skipper, however…He was there, but his mind was elsewhere. He’d finally noticed what Private was wearing.

It was a sleek black outfit, comprised of leggings and a thick black sweater that allowed for his pudgy tummy to peek out.

Surely, Skipper could be honest with himself within the space of his own mind, right? He doesn’t have to mask, or pretend, or fear what he thinks here, really, right? No one would judge him here.

Private….Looks cute.

Yeah, that’s an understatement. That’s literally a combat strategy of his, being cute. But he wasn’t cute to Skipper the same way that a puppy was, or at least, not only as cute, he was…he is…

He likes Private. Of course he does, who doesn’t? Even Savio has a soft spot for the guy, though that may be more sus than anything else. He likes Private, but he’s come to the understanding that he may…Like him more than most may.

“Like him more than most may?” Jesus christ, is he repressed. Normally you’d assume that being a secret agent just does that to you, but, they run a very non-standard operation as is. He runs a very non-standard operation, where one of his worst enemies would leave him alone if they ate lunch together every blue moon and their landlady can enter their heavily booby-trapped lair with the raw energy of pure spite.

Everyone likes Private, but nobody likes Private in the same way Skipper does. Probably. Again, Savio seems sus.

But he probably already knew all this. He’s probably went through this whole tirade three times this week, as he bounced from crisis to crisis.

He did this on Tuesday when Private discovered knee-high socks. He’s sure he’ll do it again soon.

As this crisis went on, apparently after ending up on national television, Rico thought it was the perfect time to call. Kowalski briefly admonished him for being on his phone while driving, but, after Private pointed out that he’d already robbed a drug store and stole a truck AND stole 3 litters worth of puppies, he might as well roll up to the liquor store and really test his luck.

Well, he didn’t say liquor store, but Skipper sure read into that. Skipper was the one who’s usually say something as deadpan and snarky as that, and the fact that he hadn’t so much as laughed probably said something to the men around him, which only served to heighten his anxieties.

“Yeah, Rico, we saw you. Sick flip off that ramp, by the way.”

Skipper swore that he could feel heat rising to his cheeks as Private giggled after that sentiment, and he felt Kowalski’s eyes burning into his head. Not glaring or critical or anything, but they were there, and they were hard to ignore.

“Oh…no, you have to return the puppies. I checked, we can’t keep any.” His tone soon turned mournful. Private was so expressive. He should be an open book. Surely Skipper would know if Private…

Private laughed again. “Haha! No, Rico. That’s illegal, and you know it.”

Kowalski had finally caught onto the game, and the glare had returned. It wasn’t a scornful or judgmental one, but, a tired one. A tired glare that was less “I hope you burn to ash due to the pure heat of my gaze” and more, “we can’t keep doing this.”

“I’m shaming you.”

Skipper, the fearless leader, seemed to buckle under his gaze, as he turned his head to the side, and avoided his eyes.

“I know.” He murmured.

(I literally CANNOT find any Skipper X Private fics on the web…So I wrote one myself. Please give me some recs, and I will write more! This is your devil’s bargain, Shads. Live or not read penguin fanfiction, make your choice.)

[dragon-kazansky]

Dangerous | Helmut Zemo

AU! Race car driver Zemo 😎

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Masterlist]

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 12

It was always when it mattered the most that trains decided to run slower than usual. This was the only way for you get to him, but trains had been delayed. You were full of nervous energy and didn't know what else to do other than shift around awkwardly.

You clutched your phone in your hand as you waited on the platform. You hadn't heard from Zemo after his last text. That had been yesterday. This was the earliest you could leave, a whole day later.

You just needed to be with him. You needed to hold him, kiss him. You needed him.

You missed him.

You had just been overwhelmed. How were you suppose to react when information like that pops up? You suppose it could have gone a lot worse.

You'll make it up to him. You promised.

The sound you wanted to hear appears. You smile as you look up. The train was approaching the station.

You: I'm coming. Wait for me.

Zemo was sitting in the hanger. What was left of his car was sitting in front of him. He stared at it. Sam and Bucky were doing thorough checks. They needed to find out what went wrong. They had checked the car multiple times before the race, but it obviously wasn't enough. Something had happened.

His phone pings in his pocket. He pulls it pit and smiles at your message.

Zemo: I'm waiting

He keeps his phone in his lap as he looks back up at the car again. He felt very lucky to be sitting there. Even luckier once you get here.

"How could someone tamper with the car? We were with it right up until Zemo took it to the line," Sam said, standing over the charred mess.

Bucky had been deep inside the car, noting every little detail he could see.

"Obviously we missed something. Do you remembering exactly what you were doing up until that point?" Bucky looked up at him.

"We got there, I did the usual checks after Zemo left our side. I waited with the car until Sarah came. You showed up not longer after. All three of us were standing with the car. No one else cane over to our side. Zemo came out, he sat down, I went to get something to drink, leaving you with it." Sam thought hard about his movements.

"Yeah, Sarah and I talked, but the car was always in view. Zemo didn't move from that chair at all."

"Yeah, non of you had moved when I came back."

Zemo leans forward in his chair.

"The only time we are not with the car is at night," he looks at them both. "The hanger isn't exactly hard to get into. We can't lock the door, remember."

The huge hanger door was never locked. It was broken, but very few people knew that Zemo used this as his workshop.

"But, we did the checks."

"Unless it was something slight. Something we wouldn't notice until too late. Pietro did his checks that day. I very much doubt he would have taken the risk if he was aware something was wrong with his car."

Sam and Bucky look at each other.

"Are you suggesting Stark did something?"

"By extension."

"By extension?" James furrowed his brow.

"Any idea what that woman was doing beforehand? Did you see her at the race?"

"Yeah, draping herself all over Stark, why?"

"Are you aware that he and Miss Potts are together?" Zemo asks, lips curled into a slight smile.

"Well, I knew she liked him. Though I have no idea why," Sam said.

"They're lovers."

"How do you know?"

Zemo smirks.

"I went to Stark's house that night Y/N left. Miss Potts was there."

"You never mentioned that before." Bucky eyed him suspiciously.

"He didn't want me to know. However, her perfume caught my attention, and the shoes by the door most definitely did not belong to the wicked woman. The lipstick on Stark's chin, which I'm sure he didn't realise, was the same shade I had seen Pepper Potts wear. Behind closed doors he indulges in his true desires. For the cameras, he has a publicity relationship."

"So, you're a detective now?"

Zemo grinned, opening his hand a bit as he shrugged.

"I just have a keen eye sometimes."

"You scare me." Sam pointed a finger at him.

Zemo chuckled and stood up.

"I would say it's a safe bet that Stark had that woman do something for him. Perhaps under blackmail or just with his persuasion, after all, I am the bad guy in his eyes. Ruin my career, ruin my life, ruin everything I hold dear. He wanted me out of the picture."

"He really went to a lot of trouble."

"He did."

His phone pinged again. He picks it up and smiles again.

You: I'm on the train. I miss you.

He types quickly.

Zemo: I miss you too. I'll be there when you arrive.

He puts his phone away and stands up. He walks over to where Sam and Bucky are standing and sighs.

"Take one more look. I don't think it's going to matter either way. I have nothing to pin on Stark, whether we know it's his fault or not. I have a date to prepare for." He smiles.

The boys look at him, realising what he was implying. Sam grins and Bucky just looks relieved.

Zemo leaves them with the car.

His first stop is to go home, change into something more suitable, and then pick a car to come pick you up in. Things are going to turn out OK. This time, he is sure of it.

There is still plenty of time before your train gets in. He heads up and takes a shower. He smiles to himself the entire time. You'll be here with again soon.

He has no intention of letting you go this time.

He dresses smart for you. Purple shirt, neatly pressed trousers, shiny shoes that probably cost the same as some of his cars. Not forgetting his fur collared coat.

He looks at himself in the mirror. Another smile. A cheeky one.

He heads out.

He walks with his head held high, a slight spring in his step, as he heads to the garage. He knows which car he wants to drive. He is going to pick you up in style.

A purple convertible. Just his style.

He arrives at the station with minutes to spare. He climbs out of the car and heads onto the station. He wants to be there when get off the train.

The train is right on time.

His heart is beating rapidly. You're nearly here.

The train comes to a stop. The doors open. People flood out. He stand and he waits, eyes scanning the crowds. Then, nothing else matters. You're there. You step off the train, you turn, and you smile.

His arms are open. You run past everyone else and leap into his embrace. He is quick to cradle you to him, burying his nose in the crook of your neck and just feeling you against him. You're crying. He's crying!

You're here.

He's alive.

Everything feels right again. You pull back and waste no time. You kiss him. He holds you close and kisses you back, just as fiercely.

You stop, placing your hands on either side of his face and look at him.

"I was so scared."

He smiles softly at you.

"As was I."

"I thought...I thought you were dead."

"I'm here. I'm alive."

You feel him under your hands. He's warm. You caress his cheek with your thumb softly.

"I'm staying," you tell him.

"Good. I'm not letting you go."

You kiss him again. The platform had cleared since, but the pair of you didn't care. You just wanted to be there with him for as long as you could.

Eventually though, you pulled away.

"Take me home?"

"Home?"

"Your home. I want to spend time with you. I have a lot to make up for."

Zemo smiles and takes your hand, both of you leaving the station together. You lean into him, needing to be close to him.

There was so much to talk about.

You can't help the laugh the tumbles out when you see the car. It's so very him. You look at him, laughing yourself silly. He laughs too, in love with the sound of yours.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just... this car is perfect for you."

He grins as he walks around to your side of the car, holding the door open for you. You smile and walks over, climbing in. He closes the door and leans down. He kisses you through the open window.

You would love to sit there a day doing that, but there are things that need to be done. You chuckle as he pulls away and walks around, getting into his side. He steals one more kiss before he drives.

Your hand finds comfort in his. You needed reassurance this wasn't some wild dream. He holds your hand securely, seemingly needing the same reassurance.

You have to ask him things now, you needed to know.

"Tell me what happened."

He glances at you.

"My car malfunctioned. I could not make it around the bend. It was a full on collision, but unlike six years ago, I surveyed the crash. Having trained myself for the worst when it comes to racing Stark, I have practised over and over again on getting out of that car. It took me just a moment to get out. The second I was, an ambulance arrived on the scene and they pushed me into the back to look me over. I was completely fine."

You look at him, eyes big and sad, heart hammering away.

"I should have been there."

"No! You did the right thing not coming."

"You must have hated me when you saw I wasn't there," your voice wavered.

"No. I could never hate you. I can only love you until the day I die," he grins at you.

"Helmut."

He smiles the brightest smile you have ever seen on his face. He loves it when you say his name.

"There are things I want to ask when we get to the house."

"Alright. I think it's time we sort out what we're going to do."

He keeps a hold of your hand the entire trip to his house. He opens the door for you, helps you out, and then wraps his arm around you as he leads you to the door. He unlocks it with ease and pushes the door open. You both step inside.

Coats are removed, door is locked again, tea is brewing. Only then do you both sit down, tea cups in hand, and talk.

"I want to stay, Helmut."

"Please do."

"You'll let me move in with you just like that?" You ask, chuckling softly.

"Yes. If I have to go another day without you, I will lose my mind, quite literally."

You chuckle.

"I was so stupid not to believe you."

"You were scared, my love. I can't blame you. For a moment, you thought someone had died by my hand. You had every reason to run off like that."

"I heard you at my door that night."

"I know. I heard you on the other side," he smiles softly. "I knew you were listening. That's all I could have asked for in the end."

"Still, I feel horrible. I should have come to the race."

"No. That incident would have happened regardless. It was much better you were not there to see it in person."

You put your tea down and shuffled closer to him. He put his cup down so he could embrace you as you leaned against him. He kissed the top of your head and held you to his chest.

"I'm never leaving again. You're stuck with me now. I, uh, may have also done some research."

"Regarding what?"

"Being a manager. If you'll still have me."

He grins.

"Of course I'll still have you."

You look up at him, once again smiling like an idiot. He kisses your forehead softly. The pair of you sit there, clinging to one another.

When evening rolls in, you have both caught up with one another, discussed your role as his manager, and he told you about his car. It was only after that he told you about what he thought had happened.

"You think Tony had her mess with your car?"

"I do. I have no proof, but that's all I have."

You sigh softly.

"So, what's the plan from here?"

"We get me a new car. I'll improve it to the best of my abilities and I'll race in that final."

"You're still going to race this season?" You look up at him, eyes soft, but still full of concern.

"Yes. There's only one more to go, and I now have you back. Let's see this through to the end," he grins.

"Let's show Tony Stark what happens when you mess with us."

Zemo chuckled and pulled you in for another kiss.

One more race of the season. Zemo was determined to come out on top. This was going to the race that mattered the most.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406 @wilder-fangirl @nectav @whovianayesha @thesuitkovian @cathrin2405 @deathtothepatriarchy @belle82devart @dxrksxul06 @killeromanoff @alex-the-nb @latenightartist-author @hb8301 @goddessofmischief03 @xxidontwikeitxx @themeanestlittlewitch @scuttle-buttle @fillechatoyante @lucky-luck-lucky @zemosimp420 @avengersofmischief @stardancerluv @breadsquash @the-chaotic-cow @wandalorian @pinkcutiepiee @awesomesauce-abbie @zemo-is-my-muse

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

White Lies (Pt. 13 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 2.7 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

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{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

{John Wick Masterlist}

×

Change Of Heart

“You and Daniel were in a relationship that ended sometime before we met,” Keanu says, gathering his stuff as you do the same, both starting to take the baggage to the living room. “He is Mrs. Davis' son, and I guess she didn't like much when you two broke apart.”

“And where is this Daniel now? I'd like to meet him if he's part of my past.” You stop by the door, as Keanu checks on his phone for the car he just called.

But he puts his phone away, eyes on you. “Daniel passed away a week before your accident.”

“Oh...” You whisper, looking down. “So that's why Lucia got so sad when I said we weren't considering the name.”

“Yeah.”

Furrowing your eyebrows at his weird expression, you step forward and tiptoe, placing a kiss on his lips. “Let's go home, babe.”

•••

Going back home happened without any incidents. But the next days were filled with medical appointments. You assure him you're fine, but Keanu seems to be in an urge to make sure you're completely fine. You try not to complain about it, but things get weird when you notice a strange expression on his face. For too many times to count you caught him looking like he was just about to say something, but for some reason, he gives up. It makes you confront him a couple of times, but he assures you he's just worried as the pregnancy goes on.

Some weeks go by, and you're getting impatient to find out the baby's sex. On your many ultrasounds, they're always on a position that makes it impossible to see it. But you're hopeful for today, and, as you lie on the bed with Keanu, your back against his chest, you take in the soft morning light.

Keanu has an arm around her waist, a hand caressing her belly. Her bare back keeps his body warm, and despite the constant feeling that time is running short, he places kisses on her neck.

He was supposed to tell her the truth weeks ago, the moment they got back from Miami, but he just couldn't. This went too far, he went too far. In every possible aspect. Keanu didn't only fell for her, but he was intimate with (Y/N) too many times to count, and that makes him feel more guilt than anything else.

Her second trimester is just about to end, and now, he's caught in between. Again, for the millionth time, Keanu is caught in between two feelings. His love and his morals.

In his defense, Keanu did try to break the news several times. The words, the destructive, dangerous words were at the tip of his tongue, ready to desolate his life. But they got stuck, and he was too weak at the thought of losing her. Of losing the baby that he loves so much. It doesn't matter how many times he reminds himself the kid isn't his, he's failing to get this fact to grow roots in his heart. Keanu loves the child as if it's his own.

Guilt threatens to devour him entirely sometimes, but right now, in this moment, happiness suppresses everything else. This is his personal paradise, with her, the baby, healthily growing inside her.

Keanu always wanted a family. Settle down, take less and smaller roles. But nobody ever made him feel like he could. Of all the women he dated, nobody ever made him feel like he would give up everything. He thought he knew what love was, and he thought it wasn't as strong as people say... But now, life proved him wrong. This is love, a wrecking ball that came and destroyed his walls, his heart, his wrong perceptions. If only it happened some other way. If he wasn't caught up in this web of lies.

Dr. Harris wasn't happy to know he was sleeping with her. (Y/N) told her, of course, and even though it was in her usual shy and reserved way, the psychologist got the meaning behind the words. And she confronted him, very harshly, and Keanu could do nothing but listen and agree. Because this is wrong. This is the worst kind of betrayal.

(Y/N) moves a little, breathing deeply as she wakes up. A hand finds his, pulling it to her chest, placing a soft kiss on his fingers. “Morning.” She whispers, voice still clouded by sleep. She's used to it now, Keanu is always awake first.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He replies, fingers caressing her chin. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, but I miss lying on my stomach.” She complains, turning around and snuggling into his chest. “What time is it? We have an ultrasound.”

“I know. And we should probably start getting ready.”

“Alright.” (Y/N) mutters, but doesn't give any signs she'll move anytime soon.

But he knows what today is all about, and it will certainly make her excited. “Hopefully we'll finally find out if this little one is Sophie or Liam.”

“Yes!” Immediately, she pushes herself up, an arm sustaining her weight as she looks down at Keanu. And he tries not to stare at her nude figure, even though this is silly compared to everything they're done. Still, he thinks he should at least try. “The baby must be in a good position today. I can't wait anymore.” With that, she's up, smiling as she makes her way to the bathroom.

And Keanu is left behind on the bed, surrounded by his bad decisions. Maybe this is the right time. Maybe, being this happy, she won't hate him so much.

With a lump in his throat, he goes on with his routine, until they're almost ready to go. Keanu waits by the bedroom door frame as she fixes her hair, the bathroom door half open. This is way too sudden, but if he doesn't do that now, if he waits any longer, he'll never be ready. He'll never be brave or strong enough to do this. He took too long already. Now, he can only hope, pray, that this will somehow end up the way he wants.

That he won't lose her.

The moment he sees (Y/N) walking out of the bathroom, Keanu gives a step forward, arms crossed, heart beating so fast it threatens to jump off his chest. The words are at the top of his tongue when his eyes take in her posture. (Y/N) holds the skirt of her blue dress up, all the way to the top of her thigh with one hand, and on the other, there's blood. Bright and red, staining her fingers and the palm of her hand. His eyes turn to her face, blank, scared as she looks at him.

Without thinking too much, his mind on the verge of collapsing, he forces himself to move, quickly making his way over her.

You hate the smell of the soap they have here. You hate this hospital and what it means when you're brought here. It's only far worse now. You're still trying not to burst into tears, trying not to break down again. There's no pain, so that's good. And no more bleeding, which is even better. The feeling you got when you found blood on your underwear was the worst thing in the world. For a moment, a desperate moment, you thought you were going to lose the baby. You wanted to yell, but you didn't have it in you.

If it wasn't for Keanu, you don't know what you'd do.

Now, still walking terribly slow out of nervousness, you leave the hospital bathroom, finding Keanu seated on the edge of your bed, already looking at you.

“Hi, beautiful.” He says, and you remember this was one of the first things he said to you. “Come and lie down. Why did you put the dress on again?”

“Because it's clean and I don't want to stay here.” Instead of doing as he said, you stand before him, your forehead on his chest. “I thought I was going to lose our baby.” Your voice cracks as some tears roll down, arms around his midsection.

“I already spoke to the doctor.” Immediately, you pull away, just enough to look into his eyes. “He assured me you're both alright.”

“Are you sure, Ke?” You plead, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I almost lost my mind.”

“He wants you to rest and that's all. He–” He's cut short by the door being open, and you see Dr. Wright and your obstetrician.

“First of all, you must know the baby is alright.” Dr. Williams says as she comes closer, a tablet on her hands. “Sometimes, such discharges happen, mostly as you progress from the second to the third trimester.” She kindly smiles. “Everything you two need to do is keep up the good job. Make sure to rest, eat healthily, and exercise. But I'll recommend you to lie down for the rest of the day, ok?”

“Ok.” You quickly agree.

“It would be good to avoid surprises. The bad ones at least.” Dr. Wright adds, oddly staring at Keanu. But that's normal, he still needs to look after you, so some things are directed to him. “But we have good news today, right, Dr. Williams?”

“Yes.” From under the tablet, she takes a picture from the ultrasound and hands over to you. “The baby was in a good position and we already know the sex.”

“Oh my God.” You exclaim, smiling for the first time since the incident. “What is it?”

Dr. Williams smiles, exchanging a glance with Dr. Wright. “Mr. and Mrs. Reeves, you'll be having a baby boy.”

“It's Liam!” You yell, throwing your arms around Keanu again. “I was right!”

“You were right.” He agrees, a second before you kiss him, not minding the audience.

“Well, you're free to go home. And call me if you need anything.” Dr. Wright says and the obstetrician agrees before they both leave.

At least something good happened today. You'll finally be able to paint the blank white walls of the baby's bedroom, and buy what you still need.

“I was right.” You repeat, smirking at Keanu. “But we can try again and maybe it'll be a girl. I mean, if we ever spoke about having more than one kid.” Blushing a little, you bite your lip. There are still a lot of things you need to be updated on, and you still get a little sad when it happens.

“I'd love to have more kids if that's what you want, sweetheart,” Keanu says and you smile, kissing him again. “But now let's go home. You need to lie down for the day.”

“Can we stop and buy the paint for Liam's room? We already know the color so it'll only take a minute.” You know you have to rest, but you can't help but feel excited for finally being able to finish off the baby's bedroom. “Please? I'll stay in the car.”

Keanu gives you a look because sometimes you don't always do as you said you would. “Fine, but you won't be painting anything. I can do it myself.”

Nodding, you watch as he takes your bag and guides you out of the hospital room you hate so much. Hopefully, there will be a day you won't have to keep coming here, not because of some incident and not for any appointments.

You did wait in the car this time, and as much as you wanted to hit the mall and buy everything blue and green, Keanu forces you to give up the idea and head straight home. And when you get there, you have his undivided attention. He doesn't only make an incredible lunch, and an incredible dinner, he gives your legs a massage, and it takes a lot of effort to just lie down instead of jumping on him. But this is peaceful, slow, and sweet.

In the weeks that follow, nothing bad happens. You feel great, but you also heavier. Liam is growing fast, and you can't wait any longer to meet him. And neither can Keanu. He gets even more protective with time if that's even possible. And after you almost slipped in the shower, you're not even allowed to shower by yourself. Of course you pretend you're annoyed, but the truth is that you love it.

Despite feeling uncomfortable during this period, Keanu makes everything perfect. There are still no signs you'll get the memories back, and that's a fact now, but you'll follow your psychologist's advice. And Laura's advice, since they're pretty much the same. Living in the past will only get in the way of what's happening now. You have an amazing husband, who loves you deeply, and a child on the way. The present is wonderful, and you won't let anything ruin it.

You're around week 37 now, marking it on the calendar on the fridge door, a hand on your back as you make your way to the kitchen table. Keanu is still upstairs, and you take this chance to pour some honey on your plate. You're still eating the awkward combination when he comes to the kitchen, and you try not to let him see. But Keanu sees everything, and when he takes his place across from you, you feel his eyes burning.

“What?” You innocently ask, shrugging your shoulders.

“Are you eating bacon with honey?”

Biting your lip, you raise an eyebrow at him. “I happen to love honey. And bacon. So it makes sense.” He giggles and you kick his leg under the table. “Don't mess with the pregnant lady.” Warning him, you push the plate away. “I'm done anyway. I'll move to the couch if you don't mind, my back really hurts.”

“Sure. I'll join you in a bit.”

“Ok.” Dragging yourself to the living room, you lie down, hands on your swollen belly. You're almost drifting off to sleep when you feel Keanu sitting down, lifting your legs so he can move closer, caressing your thighs. “Ke, I'm huge.” You complain, eyes on the bump.

“You're beautiful.” Bending down, he places a kiss on your exposed belly, since you have the shirt pulled up. “Absolutely gorgeous.”

“Yeah, I doubt that.” Pouting a little, you try to hold back the giggle when you see his eyebrow raised.

“I would love to show how beautiful I think you are, but Dr. Williams told us to give it a little break.”

“Don't even remind me.” You never complained about anything with your obstetrician, but when she told you and Keanu should probably avoid sleeping together, you had to speak up. Even though your cheeks were burning. But in the end, you did comply. And you wouldn't have much of a choice anyway, since Keanu does everything the doctors say. “I heard your phone beeping. Everything alright in Arch?”

“Yes. That was just Lucia.” He says, obviously a little annoyed. “She just moved here. She's renting an apartment not so far away.”

“What the hell.” Sighing, you roll your eyes. This woman won't leave you alone, it doesn't matter what you say. “Why is she doing that? Isn't it obvious we don't want her around?” A couple of weeks ago she showed up again, and another argument happened. Keanu had to kick her out because the recommendations were that you shouldn't be put under any kind of stress.

“She loves you and the baby. That's why she wants to be around.” You don't get it. Keanu doesn't like her either, so why does he still speak like this?

“I know you can't stand her, you don't have to fake it with me.”

“But this isn't about me, sweetheart, it's about you and the people who were in your life before.”

The kindness in his voice makes you sit up, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You're amazing, did you know that?” Placing kisses on his face, you smile. “I love you. I'm worried to death and I'm trying not to get anxious with the labor, but you're making everything perfect. You're the best husband I could ever have.”

“I'm just trying to be the husband you deserve.” With a hand caressing your cheek, Keanu kisses you full on the lips, and you take no time before kissing him back. You don't know what you'd do without him, but luckily, you won't ever have to find out.

×

@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina @playboygeniusphilanthropist @partypoison00 @mariafetamina @fortheloveoffanfic @trin303

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Fifteen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Fourteen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Sixteen

Marnie pov.

I walk into the record company, finding a very young guy at the front desk, probably the intern. Encumbered with phone calls and notes, I wait for him to finish everything before speaking. His lost eyes soon find me and he smiles sympathetically.

“Hi Marnie, Luke is in studio three.” he whispers quickly, getting back on the phone.

I smile in thanks, heading down the hallway he's pointed out. I didn't think it would be so easy. The noise coming from behind the door to studio three startles me. The boys are laughing and screaming so loud, it amazes me that no one came to complain.

I knock on the door twice, hard, to try to get their attention over that area. A guy in a cap opens the door, revealing a room with at least eight people inside.

Luke is the first to jump out of his chair, coming over to me, grinning hugely, pulling me into the room. Ash gets up too, following close behind.

“Sorry for interrupting, but I needed to talk to you.” I look at Luke, who agrees. I pull him out of the room as I hear Irwin complain.

"A disregard for my friendship. Before, she used to come here to see me, not to see you, you empty-headed bunch.”

"She never came to see you." Hood opposes.

I ignore the pre school fight, focusing on the tall blonde in front of me. I lean against the wall, letting him get closer.

Luke had spent Friday night with me, taking care of me. We also spent Saturday morning together, just existing on the couch. That was definitely a very good point for both of us and it really strengthened our relationship. It also didn't make him leave my thoughts, earning him the title of the cutest guy I know.

Never would Stephen do that to me, even because when I was bad he didn't even come close, not wanting to “catch my bad energy”.

“You forgot that at home.” I give his coat, trying to hide it was against my will deliver it so easily.

I saw the coat the second Hemmo left the house, but when the perfume enveloped me, I decided for my own good, to just keep it for a little while, spending day and night in it. Luke stares at me with a raised eyebrow before taking the coat from my hands, smiling.

“Funny, I really missed it, but yesterday, I saw it in your stories, so I didn't worry anymore.” I roll my eyes, feeling my cheeks heat up. "Let me enjoy that you still don't hate me today."

“Too late.” I interrupt him, biting my lip.

"I wonder if I can pick you up, so we can go to the Troubadour together."

The boys are playing there today, for the Friends of Friends event, and I was particularly excited, it would be the first time I would see them play live. “First time”.

I wrinkle my forehead and look around, pretending I was thinking about it. Luke looks at me in disbelief, holding back his laughter. I pout, shaking my head.

"I think you can! Yes, you can. I allow.” I press my lips together, wanting not to laugh.

“Oh God, you.” he shakes his head, looking away. I let out my laugh. "Can I pick you up at 7pm? I need to be at the Troubadour at least an hour before the show.”

“Of course! No problems. Go! Now I need to talk to Ash.” I push him back to the door.

“It's about my birthday, isn't it?” he opens an excited smile.

I dissolve my expression, wanting to hit him. Damn it, he knows. I feel the surprise party going straight down the drain, but I don't want to give in to it.

“No! The world doesn't revolve around you, Hemmings.” I cross my arm, teasing him.

“It's about my birthday! Alright, I'm going to pretend I don't know anything.” he takes two leaps into place happily.

“My God, I hate you.” I hide my face, sighing. I can't believe he screwed up his own surprise party.

“Hey.” I hear his voice close. I take my hands away from my face, finding his very close. His lips steal a kiss from me, quickly.

“Go away!” I pick up my bag, hitting him.

Luke walks into the studio laughing, yelling at Ash that I've been waiting. I walk around the hallway, wanting to wipe the stupid smile off my face. I hide my face again, returning to the scene that just happened about 50 times, at least.

“Say it!” Ash approaches.

“I hate him!” I point to the studio, taking a deep breath.

“Of course you do! And the sky is green. I can see how much you hate him, by that silly smile on your face.” Irwin raises an eyebrow.

"Don't make me use my purse against you too." I scare away the latest happenings, focusing on what mattered. "Do you have the ring?" he hands me a silver ring set with a black stone.

“Quickly, because he's already noticed he's gone.” I nod, still analyzing the jewelry.

"I'm going right now and tonight I'll return you at the Troubadour." I keep the piece in my bag. "All set for Friday?" he nodded. "You know he knows, don't you? How did he find out?”

“Behind that stupid face, he's smart sometimes.” I roll my eyes at my friend, laughing. “Seriously, if you pay attention, sometimes it feels like there's an elevator song playing in his head. Especially when he's standing staring at something.” I laugh when Ash decides to imitate Luke, staring blankly at the wall.

“You guys are terrible. Well, I'll be on my way, see you later.” I give a kiss on his cheek.

Thursday is Luke's birthday and I, more than anyone, want it to be a perfect day. Also, I want to give him a nice present that somehow doesn't involve my body, as I apparently did before.

Searching the internet, I found a store in east LA that sold some jewelry that I thought would be to his taste. I was going after a box with five rings and three necklaces, which looked like they were made for Luke.

If I could, I would advance the time, just to give the gift soon. I just want to see his face and hope he likes it the way I think it will.

I walk past reception, waving goodbye to the poor receptionist who still seemed tangled up with the phones. Interns.

"Marnie?" I turn around when I hear my name. The man in the dress shirt, who had just passed me, approaches smiling.

“Yes?” I look at him confused.

“Of course, you don't remember. Sorry! I'm John, 5sos’ tour manager. How are you?”

“Oh! I'm great, thanks.” I soften my posture. Being Luke's girlfriend, I must have seen John a thousand times.

"It was quite a scare. I'm relieved you're okay.” I smile gratefully at the concern. "Would you have a minute for us to talk?"

Luke pov.

I lean against the car, waiting for Marnie to get out. I take a deep breath, trying not to let the anxiety get the better of me. We've practically spent the weekend together, we're getting closer, she's letting her guard down with every second we spend together, letting me fight to win her back, and yet here I am, shaking like a stick, as if it was the first time we went out together.

"Pathetic!" I say to myself, not accepting being like this.

We dated for two years, it's not like she was a stranger. I know her better than she does. I already know everything she likes, how she's going to react to every move I make and even then, I'm terrified of doing something wrong.

When I realized I was falling in love again with every detail of her, I didn't think that insecurity would come back with it. In fact, I thought it would be better than the first time, that I would be more confident and secure. But it’s Marnie I'm talking about, she eliminates any security and logic in me.

I twirl the little ring through my fingers, noticing how cold and sweaty my hand was. Yes, that human being not five feet tall, can mess with me.

I hear the door unlock, prompting me to put the ring away quickly. Marnie steps in front of me, walking around with open arms. I give her the dumbest smile.

“So? Am I OK?” she stretches out her Friends of Friends hoddie proudly.

"You look spectacular." I sigh, feeling my heart race.

"Not really, it was a little old thing that was in the back of my closet." she laughs, sounding like her mother last week. I blink a few times, trying to disguise the stupid face I must be making.

“You really look fantastic.” I say before holding her body against mine. I sink my nose into her neck, taking in all of her scent, letting into my bloodstream, fueling the butterflies in my stomach, along with the touch of her skin against mine, even with the clothes between us.

I ease my grip, releasing her, but her body remains pinned to mine and she pulls me back, squeezing me tighter. The action takes me by surprise. Not that I didn't want to hold her, I could live the rest of my life here, in her arms. But that indicated something was wrong.

“Is it everything OK?” I whisper, overcome with worry. Marnie just nods, affirming, or rather lying to me. She's not fine.

Her body pulls away and I see a sad glint in her eyes. My body tenses, seeing that fake smile take her lips, unlike the one she gave just minutes ago. My face hardens, realizing she was acting.

“Marnie…” I start my speech to say that she could tell me anything, but she interrupts me.

“We're late, we need to go. Let's go!” she dodges around me, heading for the car door.

I sigh, seeing that I won't be able to get anything out of her today. As far as I know, she doesn't want to spoil the night and will hold it off until the end. I hate when she does that. Keep everything to herself, without the slightest need, we can share the problem and even the pain, that's what a couple does, they support each other.

We left the building, taking the expressway to get there faster. Marnie babbles about her excitement to see the band play live. Normally, I love to hear and see her talk too much. Seeing her eyes flashing rapidly, her tongue getting tangled up in some difficult word, or seeing her start to laugh before she can get the funny part out. Her clumsy hands, moving quickly until she managed to drop something.

But now, I can only move my head automatically, still with my mind on her bad performance from before. Until this morning everything was fine, she was excited and happy. Until minutes ago she was happy. But now it's just a facade covering something I can't quite make out what it is.

She didn't argue with Leah, because the gossip didn't get through to me, and I'm sure Noah would have let me know by now, so we can set the process for the two of them to make up. I didn't see anything on the internet that could have messed with her. Unless something happened during the photo shoot.

"Luke?" I look quickly at her, who was looking at me amused. “Are you OK?” now she was the one asking.

“Yeah! Sorry, I daydreamed a bit. Thinking about everything I need to do getting there. What did you say?” I try to push my worry away, focusing solely on her, which is what I cared about.

"I asked if you're going to play my song?" my cheeks heat up. She knows?

"What song?" I question carefully.

“The one made for me, Amnesia.” I stop at the light, staring at her mischievous smile. This one is not fake.

"You didn't make that joke." I say disappointed. Marnie laughs beside me. “I refuse to accept that you made such a horrible joke. Marnie, you were not like that.” I shake my head.

“It was good, you can't deny it.” she pulls my hand into her lap. I freeze from the movement, feeling my skin tingle.

“It was terrible and it insults me somehow. I taught you wonderful jokes.” her fake, forced laugh catches my attention as I accelerate.

"I hear your jokes are horrible." I look quickly at her, who's sitting sideways, her head leaning back against the bench. Shit, she is so beautiful.

“This is a huge lie.” her laugh fills the car again.

The mood gets better the rest of the way. I still have my mind hammering at that moment, but I leave it for later, as she probably would. We entered through the back of the Troubadour, meeting everyone in the hallway and dressing room.

I hold her hand, pulling her close to me as we walk into the crowd. As I expected, M&Ms become the center of everything, everyone wants to say hello to her and see if she really was okay. I leave her for a few seconds in everyone's company, pulling Ashton and Leah aside.

"Do you guys know if something happened to Marnie?" They deny it. "Didn't you discuss?"

“No! In fact, I'm missing it.” Leah turns her face away, watching M&Ms laugh among the crowd. “What there was?” she looks at me again. I resume the scene for the two of them.

“She was fine when she left the record company.” Ash reinforces my thinking.

"I didn't know anything about today's photo shoot." Leah adds. "You don't think Stephen might have shown up again, do you? Or even that bitch? Bethany?” I shake my head.

Stephen had to be really, really dumb to show up to Marnie after she said she knew everything. And Bethany never tried to talk to her after what happened, I doubt she would try now.

“I'm sure she doesn't want to say anything yet so as not to spoil the night, we know how she is.” Leah rolls her eyes, she also hates such an attitude. “But later on, she might tell what happened and right away it will be with one of the three of us.”

"If she says anything later, I'll talk to you." Hastings warns.

I thank the brunette, who quickly rejoins Marnie. I watch her extend her still-in-a-cast arm for them to sign in the few empty spaces.

I quickly prepare for the show so I can stay with her for a few more seconds before taking the stage. I position myself behind her, who was sitting on the arm of the sofa, letting her body lean against mine. I watch for her hand moving up to her shoulder, placing it under mine. I drop a kiss to her pink hair, watching her lean her head back further, looking up at me with a beautiful smile.

Shit, I'm so in love with her.

Minutes after a lot of mess, we got ready for the stage. Marnie comes to me before running to their place. I adjust the guitar, opening my arms to her, who comes bouncing.

"How much have you had to drink?" I ask, laughing, looking at her rosy cheeks.

“Just a little.” It hangs around my neck. “I promise not to pick a fight with anyone." she laughs.

“Thanks! I feel more relaxed.”

“Good show!” she wish me, stealing a kiss like I did earlier.

Marnie escapes my arms like sand, running to the door and running away hand in hand with Leah. I rub my face hard, not accepting how she can move me so much.

I approach the guys, doing our circle like every time we go on stage.

The lights blind me for a few seconds and soon I can see that sea of ​​people ecstatic to see us there. Ashton takes the lead, thanking everyone in advance for their presence and explaining why we're there.

I position myself at the microphone, ready to start singing Youngblood. Before I give the cue, I look upstairs, seeing her cotton candy hair watching me with a mixture of admiration and sadness. I blink at her, who smiles lightly and without strength. I play the chord, trying to focus my attention on the show and the new song I'm going to sing for her next, but all that goes around my head is: What's going on, Marnie?

OMG! Luke's new music video, am I right?

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 3.8k

Warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of death,

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 17 Part 19

Part 18

It was a crazy week, and by Wednesday, I had had enough and wanted it to be all over. It was the last day of school for the term. The kids were rowdy, and it was hard for them to concentrate. I gave up structured lessons after the morning session, and we did Easter craft. Still, even craft was hard for my kids. Most of them can't use scissors without assistance or had to use modified ones set into a wooden block. It wasn't a bludge, but it was much less stressful for both the kids and myself.

I had playground duty at lunchtime. Some of the older mainstream kids had heard about Liam, and a few would walk past me and sing the theme song to his superhero movies. Others would have a conversation with me and sneak in a movie quote. Lucky for me, most of Liam's films weren't appropriate for children, so there were only a few they could use. The kids would run away giggling, and I would shake my head. I wasn't upset by it, kids are kids, and at least they made their fun to my face.

The parents were awful. The mums would go quiet when I was near them, and I would hear laughter or whispering as I walked away. The dads looked at me just that little bit longer, making me feel uncomfortable. I just tried to remember Liam's arms around me, the way he made me feel safe in his arms. I found myself touching my earrings a lot. They soothed me.

The worst part was the other staff. Not all of them, just a couple of the younger ones and newer ones. Their eyes seemed to bore into me in the staff room and in meetings. The ones who had been here when Andy died were good. They appeared to be on the same page as Marla had been. The rest of the support class teachers and TA's were kind. They actually asked me to my face about it, seemed happy for me, and then that was it they moved on.

My boss, Michael, did call me into his office on Monday afternoon. He was good about it mostly, just concerned because apparently, the office staff had received a few phone calls from a couple of media outlets trying to get in contact with me. The staff were good enough to hang up on them. I was honest with Michael and said I didn't know what my plans were, just that we were dating. I did tell him about how it would be official on Thursday, but it worked out well because the office would be empty for two weeks, and by then, I'll be old news.

When I spoke to Liam on the phone, I had told him about how I was feeling. I was honest about it as much as I could be.

Liam was empathetic and seemed sincere when he said I didn't have to go. "If it's too much, we can wait for another time. The dress you have will be as good in a few months as it is now. Or we can return it all and try again later." Cheekily he said, "I'll let you keep the earrings."

I declined. I wanted to get it over with. I figured the quicker it was done, the quicker no one would care, and I can go back into hiding. It was like ripping off a band-aid. Just do it.

When I had gotten home from work on Tuesday, I had decided to do the hardest thing of all. I called Andy's mother.

Anthea was born in Greece and immigrated to Australia with her family in her early teens. She had met Andy's dad, Tim, a white Australian with Irish heritage, and they had a beautiful marriage. They had five children, three boys and two girls. Andy was the youngest son and was the unofficial favourite. She had always been lovely to me. She always called me Little Lana and would always hug me and insist I ate. On my birthday, she would make me galaktoboureko. She still calls me for my birthday and invites me over for Orthodox Easter and Christmas. I don't go, but I always make sure to call and send presents for my two godchildren.

"My Little Lana," Anthea gushed. "It is so good to hear from you. How are you going? Tim, Lana is on the phone! He will be so happy you called. Yes, Timothy, it's Lana. Yes, Tim says g'day. How are you? We miss you. How is work? How are your precious children? You do such good work, Little Lana."

Did I mention she talks a lot? She was one of those people who seemed to speak without having to take a breath.

"Hi Anthea, I'm doing well. Work is great, really good. I have a great bunch this year."

"Yes, you sound happy, Little Lana. Your new boyfriend must have something to do with it? He is very handsome. Not as handsome as Kamari mou but handsome. I showed all my friends, and they tell me you are still so beautiful and your hair is still so pretty and long. So long now. You've grown it."

I was stunned. I tried to talk, but the lump in my throat was so big, I couldn't swallow. I tried to say something, but all that came out was a huge sob, and I broke down.

"I'm sorry, Anthea, I am so sorry."

"Why are you crying? Stop it. Alana, why would I be upset? Why are you crying? Don't cry, silly girl. You should be happy. I do not expect you to be wearing black, like an old lady from my old country, for the rest of your life. I know you loved my son. but you're too young to grieve forever."

"I wanted to call you and tell you, but it happened so fast." I was still crying, but it wasn't so bad now. Anthea had comforted me in a way that I hadn't even known I needed. That she still loved me when I had started dating another man was incredible to me.

"You shhh, Little Lana. Listen to me. You have obviously called me for permission whether you know that's what you were doing or not. You have it, my blessing. Kamari mou wanted you to be happy also. He would not want you to be alone forever. You know this. Go speak to him, speak to Andy, and you will know."

"Thank you, Anthea."

"There now, Little Lana, you will be ok. Now no more speaking of sadness. I must tell you all the wonderful news. You will be an Aunty again soon."

Anthea talked to me for a little over an hour. Talking to Anthea was being talked at, but I needed it. I promised to call her again soon. She, of course, invited me to Easter but didn't expect a reply.

I felt lighter after talking to her. She was right. I had needed to know from her that she was ok with it. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been. I don't think I would have ended it with Liam. I think I was in too deep, but it would have been much harder to go on.

Anthea was right about something else too. I needed to talk to Andy.

So after school on Wednesday, I drove to the cemetery. I went and saw my Dad first. I didn't have much to say to him. I just sat there and let the memories come to me.

I remembered when I was six, and he shaved his moustache off, and I hadn't recognised him. I had run screaming to my Mum that there was a stranger in the house. I remembered how he would take us to see the fireworks on New Year's Eve, getting there early to get good spots and watch in awe as the fireworks exploded over Sydney Harbour. Nothing was as breathtaking as my home city on New Year's Eve. I thought about how he loved David Bowie, and he had even convinced my mother to name my brother after him. Dave and I had taken Dad to see David Bowie a few years before he passed away, and it was one of the most incredible nights of my life. The Labyrinth is still my favourite kid's movie, and Jareth was my first crush. He looked so good in those tights.

I went to see Andy. I don't see him very often. I go on Boxing Day, his birthday and our anniversary. As had become my ritual on those visits, I had his old phone and listened to his playlist. I laid down on the grass next to him and looked up at the sky. After a while, I started talking.

"Hey Butthead," I started, smiling as I said our private nickname. "I've got some things to tell you. First of all, I miss you. But surely you know that. And I know you know I will always love you. You were such a beacon in my life. A light for me when everything else was dark. I was like a moth to your flame. You drew me in, making me want to be close to you. You always made me feel like everything would be ok if I just stayed in your light. Things were so dark when you were taken from me. For so long, I felt nothing. Everything was dark.

"But then I started feeling better. I still missed you every day, but I wanted to find that again. Feel that love and safety again. I started dating about six months ago. Online mostly, you know, how the kids do it these days. I went on a few dates but felt nothing. Or if I did feel something, I felt like they weren't as good as you. Why would I settle for anyone who wasn't as good as you?

"I don't mean the same as you. I mean someone who moves me the way you did. Someone who showed me kindness like you did, someone who made me laugh, made me feel giddy. Someone I was attracted to. But also someone I wanted to do things for, someone who I wanted to go out of my way for, not because they forced me, but because I wanted to because I knew they would do it for me.

"I was about to give up. I only tried dating for a few months, but it felt so futile that I didn't care anymore. Then this guy started messaging me. He was sweet and funny, a Pom, but don't hold that against him. Anyway, I liked him instantly. It scared the shit out of me. I made him wait three months before I agreed to meet him. I was so scared because I knew I could fall for him.

"And when I met him, the sparks were there. It was instant. He was all the things I wanted. He's not like you. You're both very different. I mean, he doesn't like Mad Max for God's sake. But he makes me feel the way you made me feel. And Andy, I am falling for him."

*********************

"Lana, hold still." Jen was pulling my hair. I looked over at Riza, who was covering her mouth with a magazine. Her shaking shoulders gave her away, though, and I could see she was laughing her arse off. "I only have a couple more to do, and then you can go home and sleep."

I was at Riza's place. I had to see Jen after I spoke to Andy. Jen wanted to put my hair in pin curls. She had washed my hair and then got started pinning small sections of my already curly hair into curls.

I thought it was weird, but she said the hair has to be curled in the right direction for the style to work. She also said that the longer the curls were in, the better the result. That's why I was at her place, getting my hair done 24 hours before the event. How do celebrities live like this?

"How the hell am I going to sleep in this?" Riza's dropped all pretence and was laughing openly at me now. "Get bent, Riza."

"Hey! You're the one who looks like a 1950's housewife right now."

"1940's babe," Jen admonished. "Get it right."

When she finished, she wrapped my hair in a silk scarf. "Did you buy me an apron to go with the barefoot in the kitchen look?" I asked.

Jen laughed. She knew me well enough to know it was a joke. "Trust me. You're gonna love it."

"So when do I take the clips out?" I asked Jen.

"Not until I do your hair."

My eyes bulged. "I'm going to Liam's place hours before you're going to get there."

Riza pissed herself laughing, and Jen just said, "trust me."

When I got in bed, I rang Liam. I Facetimed him. Maybe if he laughs at me now, he won't laugh at me when I'm there, which would break my heart. His reaction surprised me.

"Why are you wearing a scarf? Please tell me you didn't dye your hair." He looked devastated.

"And what if I did?" I asked.

"You would still be you. It wouldn't change anything." He sputtered.

"Nice save," I laughed.

"I think being a redhead suits you. It makes you a little different."

I told Liam it was to protect the pin curls so they don't frizz. "You don't have to worry about me dying my hair until I start going white. I've never died my hair. It's my natural colour."

Liam's lip twitched. "I've noticed." He said.

I could have died.

On Thursday morning, I skipped the gym for obvious reasons, showered carefully so as not to wet my hair and started to get ready. I packed my bag and packed a bag for Perrin with his bed, crate, and food. I did a quick run through the shops to the dressmaker to pick the dress up from the dressmaker and to buy underwear for the dress. I didn't need a bra, but I wasn't going without underpants.

In the morning, I pottered, waiting for lunchtime to arrive and for Liam to finish his half-day at work. I was so jittery I had dropped my coffee this morning, and the mug had smashed. Not having anything to do and waiting for hours made it all worse. I had to do something, so I painted my nails and watched Kill Bill Vol. 1.

The story took me over, and soon I was transported with the action and exceptional dialogue. I decided the only person who could convince me to be an actor would be Quentin. I even went and got out my "Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino" hoodie for added comfort. When it was over, I did feel a little better and whistling the song from the movie, I got Perrin and went to Liam's.

By the time I got to Liam's house, the nerves had come back. I found it hard to concentrate and almost just walked Perrin into the backyard. I sighed and put Perrin on his leash and texted Liam that I was here, and walked to the park with Perrin. We had planned a way to introduce the dogs during the week. The snag was I had agreed to it before I knew about the hair situation. But I found an old bucket hat of Andy's that fit and hid most of my head. I still felt ridiculous, but at least the hat somewhat normal.

When I saw Liam, my heart leapt. I wanted to run to him, have him hold me, soothe away all the pain of the last week and fear of tonight. But we had to introduce the dogs first.

We walked to each other as Perrin and Cole had a little sniff of each other. There was no immediate dislike.

"Hello, Sweetheart." His voice took my breath away.

"Hi," I said.

"Cute hat."

"Arse." I was smiling, though.

"I've missed you," he smiled broadly.

I gave him a small smile.

Liam farrowed his eyebrows. "These two look like they are ok," he said. "Let's go for a walk, shall we?"

I nodded, and Liam leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before we started to walk. We went side by side, keeping the dogs apart. Liam put his arm around my shoulder.

"You're very quiet this afternoon," he said after a few minutes.

"I'm nervous."

"About the dogs or tonight?" He asked. "Or something else?"

"Tonight." I felt like a petulant child with all these short remarks, but I couldn't give him anymore just yet. I let my head rest on his shoulder to try to let him know he wasn't the reason I was acting distant.

Liam squeezed me. "You'll be ok. You're going to be dressed beautifully and appropriately. No one is going to laugh at you. You'll see. Myra and Boyd are all excited to meet you. This is Myra's boyfriends first red carpet, too, so you won't be the only virgin." He paused and chuckled. "Although, I had better keep you two apart. He's a sparky? I think that's the word. I don't want him stealing you away from me. I know how much you love tradies."

I laughed. Liam had said all the right things in a few moments, and I felt calm again. At least calm enough that I can have a conversation. "Thanks, Liam," I said and kissed his cheek.

We walked for about half an hour. The dogs walked together for a bit. Perrin, being so old, was pretty laid back about the whole thing and Cole, while curious, just seemed happy to be making a new friend.

When we got back to Liam's house, we let them leashes off, and Perrin had a sniff around the yard. Cole either followed behind him or bounced around in front of him as if he were saying, "come look at this place over here."

While Perrin explored, Liam stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes a moment, listening to the sounds of the city.

"You're such a good hugger," I told Liam as I turned around in his arms and put my arms around his neck. I buried my face into his shirt, seeking his warmth and familiar scent.

"A compliment. From you? With no sarcasm?" Liam teased. "It must be my lucky day."

"Just shut up and kiss me," I said, and I lifted my head to meet his. Our kisses were soft at first, but they became more than that very quickly.

Liam pulled away and said, "we aren't alone. Ryan is here." Liam suggested that Ryan stay with the dogs while we were out. He would be back on Sunday and Monday, too, to take Cole for a walk and play.

I sighed. "Riza will be here soon anyway. We better get these guys inside and settled."

We took the dogs inside and got them set up. Then and I met Ryan, who was working in Liam's study. I don't know what I expected from Ryan, but a Scottish Hercules was not it. He was at least as large as Liam, had dark hair and green eyes and although he paled in comparison to Liam, he was handsome and instantly likeable.

We shook hands, and he said, "it's nice to meet you, Lana. I've heard a lot about you, so it's nice to put a face to the name." His accent was noticeable but not thick, and he spoke with a confident calmness that must be essential in his job. He doesn't mention or look at my scarf, which is a relief. I smiled and said, "Same. I keep hearing all these names, so it's nice to meet finally."

Liam gets me to put Ryans number in my phone. He said I should call Ryan if I need to contact him if he's not reachable while filming. I look at Ryan, and he nods as he says, "it's my job."

I do it, but I roll my eyes. He's not my assistant.

We let Ryan get back to work, and we go out to my car to bring my stuff in. By the time I've set up Perrin's things and sorted out my put my bags away, Riza and Jen arrive.

Liam opened the door for them, and Riza stood stunned for a moment. "Damn, you're built like a brick shithouse." Riza was very petite, half a head shorter than me, so you'd think she'd be used to everyone being bigger than her.

Liam, bless his cotton socks, laughed and put his hand out. "You must be Riza."

Riza took his hand, "yeah, mate, how's it going?" Liam stood aside to let her come in. She was hauling a massive makeup case, and Liam offered to take it for her. I thought she would bristle at his offer, but instead, she just gave it to him.

I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head, indicating my surprise. She just shrugged and gave me a strange look, and looked straight back at him. Riza is a pocket rocket type and prefers to be seen as one of the boys a lot of times. Andy even invited her to his bucks weekend despite her being my maid of honour, so the whole interaction was unusual.

Jen came in and introduced herself to Liam, and it was a much more civilised exchange than Riza's.

I gave them both hugs and kisses on the cheek. "Thanks for doing this, Jen and you too, Riza."

"No worries," Riza said.

Liam offered them both some wine and looked at me to see if I wanted one. I agreed, and we all sat in the lounge room.

Riza grabbed my hand when Liam had his back turned, "Sorry Lans, I think I got star struck. I'm a fucking dickhead."

Jen and I laughed at her, and I said, "serves you right for taking the piss out of me last night."

Liam came back with glasses and a bottle of white wine and poured us all a drink before taking a seat next to me. He sat next to me, resting his arm on the lounge behind me and put his ankle on his knee. His foot bounced, and I looked at him, and it struck me that he was anxious.

I put my hand on his foot to soothe him and turned to Riza and said, "did I tell you that Liam planned a trip to Mt Hotham this winter? I think it was June? Queens Birthday weekend? Before your Mum comes. Anyway, Riza, you spent a few winters there. Got any ideas for some good runs?"

That was it, the two of them talked about skiing, and the tension in the air lifted. I even swapped seats with Riza and sat with Jen for a bit. Once I could tell Liam and Riza were comfortable with each other, I asked Liam where Jen could set up.

Liam said to go to the master on the third, and he went to get up to take us there. I told him Jen, and I could be fine, and he smiled at me and kept talking to Riza. Jen and I smiled at each other and went up to get ready.

Part 19

[bobasheebaby]

75 Criminal Minds Prompts

Some of these can easily go very, very dirty, and yes I’m talking about Morgan and Garcia conversations and honestly would it be a list without them?

1 “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you’ve really stopped to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ― Hotch

2 “Life is a hell of a thing to happen to someone.”― David Rossi

3 “Destroying a book is like…destroying a whole world.” — Diana Reid 

4 “Trust me, kiddo. I’ve been here before.” ― David Rossi

5 “I’ve always heard every ending is also a beginning. We just don’t know it at the time. I’d like to believe that’s true.” — Emily Prentiss 

6 “He is the perfect man. He doesn’t hog the covers, and he poops in a box.” — Emily Prentiss 

7 “Went on a diet last night. Lost 185 pounds.” — Dr. Tara Lewis 

8 “Marital bliss followed by marital diss! Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?” — Penelope Garcia

9 “I don’t take kindly to being blown up. In fact, it kind of pisses me off.” — Derek Morgan 

10 “You know, I've learned that, in the short time I've had the privilege of being a dad... it heals wounds, just being there for your kid.” — David Rossi

11 “What makes you feel confident?” “Statistics.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

12 “NAME , believe me when I say this, I've never known a normal day in my entire life.” — Dr Spencer Reid

13 “The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss.” — Dr Spencer Reid

14 “No one gets therapy these days without a healthy dose of medication.” “What are you implying, NAME?” “That everyone is medicated.” — Dr Spencer Reid and Penelope Garcia

15 “He/She doesn't give a damn about black or white. The only color that son of a bitch cares about is green.” — Dr Spencer Reid

16 “I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think that I do.” “I never said that. When have I ever said that?” “Every day since I met you!” — Dr Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan

17 “I never have any normal fans.” — Dr Spencer Reid

18 “Hey, Baby Girl, whatever you’re doing, drop it.” — Derek Morgan

19 “Talk to me, Baby Girl.” — Derek Morgan

20 “There you go, Baby Girl, that’s sweet.” — Derek Morgan

21 “Give it to me, doll face.” — Derek Morgan

22 “Hey, doll face. Ready to work some magic for me?” — Derek Morgan

23 “Hey, silly girl. I love you, you know that, right?” — Derek Morgan

24 “Hey girl, you’re on speaker. Behave.” “Or what, you’ll spank me?” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

25 “It was once said that love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to.” — Derek Morgan

26 “Hey baby girl, I need you to work that magic of yours.” “Rub my lamp, release the Genie.” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

27 “You really are afraid of the dark.” “I'm working on that.” “You should work a little harder.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

28 “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump your brakes. What is this about?” — Derek Morgan

29 “Oh, and if you hate sad stories as much as I do, you should leave the room right now, 'cause this is super sad!” — Penelope Garcia

30 “Enchantress of all things possible, use your imagination.” — Penelope Garcia

31 “My least three favorite words strung together: I don't know.” — Penelope Garcia

32 “Hello, my pretties. I have seen the wizard and he granted my wish.” — Penelope Garcia

33 “She knew where to toe the line between right and raunchy.” — Penelope Garcia

34 “OK, let me get you on a secret: Guys, we don’t do well on subtle clues, OK? You got to be direct, straight up. Just tell him exactly what you want!” — Derek Morgan

35 “It’s who you are, Baby Girl. You see the beauty in everything and everyone no matter where you go. That part of you is never gonna change, and I won’t let it.” — Derek Morgan

36 “NAME, people need to know that they're important and sometimes you forget that.” — Hotch

37 “Don't you have something better to do?” “Than to annoy you for three hours? Hell no.” — Hotch and Derek Morgan

38 “I think, deep down, we're all capable of unspeakable things. Where it starts or what you call it, I don't know.” — Hotch

39 “NAME, this is the job, and I need to know that you can be objective.” “And I need to know that I can be human.” — Hotch and Emily Prentiss

40 “Scars show us where we have been, they do not dictate where we are going.” — Rossi

41 “You don't need to do anything you don't want to. Understand?” — Rossi

42 “Just be careful. That ego of yours is going to get you in trouble." — Rossi

43 “Somewhere along the line, I put myself first. I admit it, but I can't go back and change it." — Rossi

44 “It could be that, after all of these years, I rewrote history." — Rossi

45 “Time will pass and slowly you will find how much it hurts. And, maybe, you'll find something else to fill that empty space." — Rossi

46 “Where you headed?” “Nowhere in particular.” “How will you know when you get there?” — Rose and Gideon

47 “Only a man would waste $50 trying to win back that $3 stuffed animal.” — JJ

48 “This is my favorite part. This is where you hang yourself with your own tongue. So, please keep talking.” — JJ

49 “My father/mother believes that children shouldn't be shielded from the realities of the world. I do! Isn't that why we read them fairy tales in the first place?” — JJ

50 “Oh god, please tell me you don't have a crush on a fictional character.” — JJ

51 “You are the best ever.” “Aw, and you're the most perceptive.” — JJ and Garcia

52 “I once dated a guy/girl who washed his/her car more than he/she washed his/her hair.” — JJ

53 “Don't tell me what I want and don't want.” — JJ

54 “You do what it takes to protect your family.” — JJ

55 “Look, I don't speak smartass.” — Michael Russo

56 “How's it having NAME around?” “You can have him/her back whenever you would like.” Hotch and Garcia

57 “So, NAME, when are you and NAME walking down the aisle?” “Hey, whoa, whoa. Baby steps. Baby steps.” “When NAME says "I do", it'll be a national day of mourning for single men/women everywhere.” — Rossi, Morgan and Reid

58 “Ugh! This heat is brutal!” “You know, it isn't so much the heat as it is the humidity.” “At some point, it doesn't matter how you look at it. It all sucks.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

59 “Need a minute?” “So, so badly.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

60 “Hey. I came as soon as I could. What's wrong?” — Matt Simmons

61 “We ask questions, and we come home.” “No creepy weirdness?” “No weirdness.” “Good, 'cause I'm about full up in the creepy weirdness department for one night.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

62 “Ooh, what about this one? Sunny, two-bedroom. It's close to work. And it's in your price range.” “NAME, you're moving? You don't like change.” “That's true. Change is my kryptonite. But the apartment is no longer a sanctuary. I have a new neighbor. Window's right here. He enjoys doing naked kung fu. Some things you cannot unsee.” — JJ, Simmons and Garcia

63 “Thank you.” “For what?” “For being you.” “Aw, thanks. I don't know how to be anyone else.” — Emily Prentiss and Dr Spencer Reid

64 “When a woman tells a man about her feelings, she doesn't want him to fix her. She wants him to shut up and listen.” — Emily Prentiss

65 “I just feel I can't understand others' emotions if I don't deal with my own, you know?” “The best way out is always through.” “Too bad it's not always the easiest one.” “You're not kidding.” — Dr Tara Lewis and Rossi

66 “It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue.” — Diana Reid

67 “I don’t hate you ... I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.” — Dr Spencer Reid

68 “There are many paths to the same place. Trust me.” “Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie.” — Hotch

69 “I’m always right. Also, you’re secretly in love with me.” — Penelope Garcia

70 “I just gave the bartender my number in Roman numerals. If he/she figures it out, he’s/she’s worth a shot.” — Dr Spencer Reid

71 “Shh, the adults are talking. When it’s your turn to speak, I’ll give you permission. Okay?” — JJ

72 “Hey, mama, tell me something I don’t know.” — Derek Morgan

73 “Talk dirty to me.” — Penelope Garcia

75 “Hey, don’t make me spank you when I get back.” “Don’t listen time him/her, NAME, he’s/she’s all talk.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

[shivercloud]

Love that grows part 1 Loki x reader

Warnings: fluff, sadness, grudge-holding, heavily pregnant reader, cussing, takes place during Thor Ragnarok

You are [Name] [F/N]'sdottir and Heimdall's niece as well as a new generation Valkyrie, just not a soul knows just your Uncle Heimdall who raised you as his own child when your parents died during a battle.

You wake up in bed your back to your love Loki Laufeyson Angrily. You recently hadn't been getting along with him you just never let the pent up anger out and it was sometimes sneaking out but you tried your best to hold in your anger since he usually saw you as calm and happy and you were pregnant with his child for 8 and a half months you were also engaged to him you knew you needed to let your pent up anger with him out but you just couldn't you didn't want to ruin your relationship. You knew that once you got married to him it would just cause issues, but you just couldn't.

Loki sits up and says "I have to go [Name], I will see you later" you just nod curtly and he says "you can always come with" you still say nothing he sighs at your no response. Loki says to you "you seriously can't be mad at me" you only answer by glaring at him and he sighs he says "well, I may as well go, but also I need to put the illusion on you" you sighed but nodded curtly you knew that if you said one word to him you'd end up exploding. He casts the illusion onto you that makes sure only he can see your large stomach.

He transforms himself into Odin after and Damn you hated that he was pretending to be Odin it was pure torcher and did nothing but put you into despair and somehow you still loved Loki and were loyal to him.

You sat up in bed and groaned in frustration and right then you felt the baby give you a large and painful kick so you hissed in pain "Ouch!" You climbed out of bed changing into something random being a green dress that was perfect for your round belly it was simple but comfortable and actually fit you. The baby kept on kicking you violently and some reason grew cold which was weird the baby only did that when there was danger nearby or oncoming danger. Which was one of your many abilities just you didn't get cold but the baby was jotun so it made sense. so you looked around and outside your window but there was absolutely nothing so you kept your furnished dagger with you keeping your guard up and left to go and join Loki well 'Odin' in watching theatre.

When you got there you sat near him and you felt like ice because the baby was still emitting cold so you elbowed 'Odin' still not wanting to talk to him he snaps his head and asks annoyed "what? What Is it?" You hissed as the baby kicked "Ouch!" You put Loki disguised as Odin's hand on your stomach seething out quietly "That!" He takes the hand off of your stomach almost right away and says "The baby senses oncoming danger, just don't let your guard down" you groaned at how little he paid attention to the baby and that you felt like ice because of it he seemed not to care at all which made you even more angry with him.

You sat there eating Loki's bowl of grapes and when the actor of Thor said something about Loki turning Thor into a frog you heard 'Odin' say "indeed it was" you continued to watch the play in boredom and looked at the statue he had up and it brought nothing but more anger you told him not to put it up but did he listen fuck no, you even told him it would blow his cover, but still he refused to listen he acted as if you were just a leech and it pissed you off but somehow you still managed to turn the other cheek and look past that.

Soon you see Thor and you say"yes!" 'Odin' looks at you and asks"what is it?" You seethe out "nothing that concerns you," He says "ok, calm down" you reply snarkily but quietly "don't order me around!" You clamp your mouth shut before you make a big scene.

The play ends and 'Odin' stands up clapping and says "well done, well done!" Thor walks out from the crowd and says "Father?" 'Odin' mutters "oh, shit" he sips from his wine and says "my son Thor has returned, greetings my boy."

you smirk deviously and say "well, you're screwed" he replies "not if I can help it" you seeth in a whisper "he probably already knows it's you, he's stupid but not THAT stupid" he ignores you so you roll your eyes and sigh frustrated. You gasped when the baby kicked you so you cuss quietly "crap, stop that you little shit!" Thor says to 'Odin' "it's an interesting play, what's it called?" 'Odin' replies "the tragedy of loki of Asgard, the people wanted to commemorate him," Thor says "and indeed they should, I like the statue a lot better looking than when he was alive, a little less weasly, greasy maybe" you can hear 'Odin' scoff and you get a bit angry even if you were pissed with Loki who is disguised as Odin.

Thor raises the skull and asks "do you know what this is?" 'Odin' replies "ooh the skull of Surtur, a formidable weapon," Thor says "well, do me a favour lock this up in the vault so it doesn't turn into a giant monster and destroy the whole planet" he hands it over to a guard. 'Odin' stands up and hands his drink over to you and says "thank you dear" you roll your eyes since that was totally sarcastic. He asks Thor "so uhm back to Midgard for you is it?" You could tell he was really nervous.

Thor replies "nope, I've been having this reoccurring dream lately, every night I see Asgard fall into ruins," Loki still disguised as Odin says "it's just a silly dream, a sign of an overactive imagination" Thor replies "possibly and then I decide to go out there and investigate, and what do I find, the nine realms completely in chaos, enemies of Asgard plotting our demise, all while you Odin the protector of the nine realms sit here in your bathrobe eating grapes" Loki well 'Odin' replies "yes well it is best to respect our neighbours freedom" Thor replies "yes, the freedom to be massacred" he tosses Mjolnir and catches it and Loki well 'Odin' says "yes, well I've been rather busy myself."

Thor asks "watching theatre?" 'Odin' replies "well, security council, board meetings and-" Thor cuts him off "your really gonna make me do it?" 'Odin' asks "do what?" Thor throws Mjolnir into the distance and stands behind 'Odin' holding him by the neck and says "nothing will stop Mjolnir as it returns to my hand, not even your face" 'Odin' says "you've gone quite mad, you'll be executed for this!" Thor lowers his voice "see you on the other side, brother." You mutter to yourself seething "of course, I knew Thor was smarter than that, I warned him, but did he listen to me, oh heck no! My, he's an idiot!"

Loki finally drops the illusion when Mjolnir almost hits him and shouts "alright, I yield!" Thor throws him out the way making everyone gasp except you, you simply roll your eyes knowing this would happen Skurge comes running and says clearly out of breath "behold, Thor... Odinson" Loki cuts Skurge off by snapping his fingers and saying clearly pissed off "no, no" he turns to Skurge really pissed off holding one finger up "you had one job, just the one!" You somehow found it attractive when Loki was pissed it was cute (I tbh think Loki is adorable right then).

You just couldn't stay away, could you? Everything was fine without you. Asgard was prospering. You've ruined everything, ask them."

Thor walks toward Loki intimidating and asks Loki "Where's father? Did you kill him?" Loki says clearly nervous" you had what you wanted, you got the independence you asked for" Thor makes Loki fall onto the couch holding Mjolnir against his chest and you gave Loki a glare followed by an eye roll

Loki glanced at you with a pleading look but you turned your face the opposite direction and glared at him Loki finally answered Thor in a pained voice "ow, ow, ow, ok, I know exactly where he is."

=========later========

The three and a bit over half of you went to Midgard and were standing by a building being demolished and Loki says "I swear I left him right here" Thor asks "here on the sidewalk or the building that's being demolished, great planning" Loki says "how was I supposed to know, I can't see into the future, im, not a witch" Thor says "really, then why do you dress like one?" You laugh and Loki glares at you so you glare back and your comment "I could've down it though."

Loki asks you "then why didn't you?" You roll your eyes and seethe "because you don't seem to give a damn about me as well as you didn't ask because you're a greedy and greasy jackass, who doesn't give a fuck about someone other than himself like me and your-" your cut off by a bunch of girls coming over and saying to Thor "can we have a picture with you?" Thor replies "of course" Loki rolls his eyes and the girls say to Thor before they leave "sorry to hear that Jane dumped you" Thor says, "she didn't dump me, it was mutual dumping," a circle appears around Loki's feet and Thor asks him "what are you doing?" Loki replies "this, isn't me."

Soon Loki disappears and you exhale somewhat more relaxed especially from that outburst of anger just now, but you were still pissed off and wanted so much to slap Loki at the least Thor pokes at the paper with his 'umbrella' and whispers "Loki?" You pat Thor's back sarcastically and say with sarcasm "Thor, you genius, he can't turn into a piece of paper" Thor picks up the paper and reads it Thor asks "so why are you so mad at my brother now?" you reply "many, many reasons, what about you and Jane?" Thor avoids your question and says "let's just go."

++++++++++++later++++++++++

You and Thor go to the place and a weird sorcerer guy appears and says "Thor Odinson, [Name] [F/N]'sdottir" you're shocked as to how he knows your name he says to Thor "you can put down, the umbrella" Thor does so, you all appear in a new room, you don't listen to a thing but soon enough your both seated and the sorcerer gives Thor some tea and you some flavours water Thor says "I don't drink tea" the sorcerer gives Thor something else being beer and you remain the same so you say "I want some of that to."

He says in a whisper "really I don't think so not with the little one in you" your eyes widen and you ask "what? How do you? What?" He replies "I have ways" sooner or later you zone out and don't hear a word but alone soon enough the sorcerer gets a book, grabs a piece of Thor's hair, making Thor roll down the stairs which you can't help but snicker to.

Randomly a portal appears and Thor says "I guess I'll be needing my brother back" the sorcerer replies "oh, right" Loki appears to fall out of a portal and onto the floor he says angrily "I have been falling for thirty minutes!"

the sorcerer says "you can handle him from here" you knew that was a bad idea but did nothing Loki seethes out "Handle me? Who are you? You think you're some kind of sorcerer? Don't think for one minute, you second-rate–" the sorcerer says "all right, bye-bye" he sends you all through a portal of some kind.

You land in a grassy area on a mountaintop Odin was standing by the edge, Loki and Thor walk over, you stay back since this was a family matter Odin says to them "do you hear it, your mother calls me" Thor glared at Loki and said "Loki, stop it" Loki shook his head and Odin says "took me quite a while to break from your spell, Frigga would have been proud, [Name] come over" Loki looks shocked at the praise. You ask Odin hesitantly "but im not-" he gestures for you to go over, so you do.

Odin looks at the engagement ring on your hand that you forgot about Loki had proposed before you were even pregnant and says "[Name], Loki you have my blessing" you smile slightly the first time in a while your anger dissolves right then and Loki looks at you fondly and smiles slightly he lifts your hand and kisses it right where the ring is and Odin says more things that you didn't quite listen to you because you were happy he praised Loki and gave you both his blessing.

The only things you really heard were a few things about Ragnarok after that Odin had disappeared and turned into a bunch of sparkles of a sort of course after saying he loved all of you. Thor was clearly angry and clouded with grief since storm clouds started to appear and Loki told you "[Name] stay back, or behind me" you nodded and obeyed.

Thor said to Loki " This is your fault!" You were too far back to hear anything and suddenly a portal appeared and women wearing Loki's colours which pissed you off an made you want to kill her right there but you couldn't, you had you and Loki's child in you. The baby was freezing you inside and out you felt as if you were getting frostbite and started to shiver Loki noticed and looked worried as well as concerned so you shook your head shivering and whisper "just get rid of her and why the heck is she wearing your colours?!" He shrugs and doesn't look happy about it. But changes into his Asgardian clothes Thor as well and you say "hey, don't forget about me?" He nods and you get changed into your Asgardian clothes and exhale in relief "this feels so much better than those Midgardian clothes.

Thor says to the women "I'm Thor Odinson" she comments "you don't look like him" Loki says "can we come to an arrangement" she comments "you sound like him" she says "kneel" Loki looks taken aback and says "beg your pardon?" Hela takes out necro swords and says "kneel before your queen" Thor throws Mjolnir at her which ends up being a bad idea because Hela destroys Mjolnir sending you and Loki backward, Loki obviously didn't put much thought into it but yells "bring us back!"

Thor shouts "NO!" But it was too late you were all already picked up by the Bifrost, Loki throws a dagger at Hela but she avoids it and sends it to you and Loki knocking you out, you land in a pile of trash and when you get up your furious and snap at Loki "YOU IDIOT, YOU ASSHOLE! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID?! YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL AND NOW THIS CHILD IS GOING TO BE BORN IN A PLANET FULL OF TRASH!"

Loki gulps and suddenly you feel like you were dunked in ice-cold water over and over again you were short on air it felt so you gasped and said "crap!" Loki looked worried and ask "no, no your not in labour, are you?!" You shake your head and he puts his hand on your stomach feeling the coldness you felt frozen, he grabs the bottom part of your top half of the dress and asks "may I?" You nod weakly he lofts it and shoves the bottom of it down slightly and he looks in horror as he sees that you have a bunch of burns and asks worriedly "is the baby doing this to you?!" You nod weakly and he says "we shouldn't have kept the baby! I knew it was all bad idea! It's killing you inside and out!"

You black out and Loki catches you just in time you get colder and colder, soon your pulse drops and your breathing slows tears prick at Loki's eyes and he says "no, no, no [Name], no you can't die! [Name] please no... I can't live without you, you mean the world to me! I need you... And our child, please..."

Loki shakes you and says "[Name]... Wake up, stay with me!" Loki sees the giant and weird building thinking I'll be able to heal [Name], there, it's not safe here.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::time skip:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

You woke up and were engulfed in a tight embrace and looked to see Loki hugging him back, he kissed your cheek which surprised you and he knew it did so he asks "what's wrong?" You reply"its just that, you haven't exactly shown me ANY affection, for about a year or so, you haven't really given a shit about me for years or a year" Loki pulls you into his chest and says "I'm sorry about that" you reply "Loki, its fine" he replies "no it isn't and I know it."

You felt like you weren't carrying any extra weight so you say worriedly "NO, NO, WHERE IS THE BABY?!" Loki stops hugging you and says "calm down" he puts a hand on your stomach and says "right there, the baby is healthy and doing good" you sigh in relief and ask "where the heck are we though?" Loki replies "a place called Sakaar, its owned by a lunatic called 'the Grandmaster' he's an idiot, it was really easy to get in here," you ask "what did you have to do?"

Loki replies "well, I can persuade people you know and deceive them it was really easy, so almost nothing, just my persuasion" you reply "good, because I was thinking you'd try to kill him or threaten to" Loki chuckles "oh no, I wouldn't go that far right off the bat, besides I can lie my way out if I want to" you pull Loki into a hug and he wraps his arms around you tightly in a loving embrace, you kiss his cheek.

You stop hugging Loki and get up but he forces you back down and says "no, you need to rest, I've only just healed, your frostbite," you say "Loki, DONT order me around, you know I hate it and I can have a short temper and that'll just make me angry again, I don't mind it in bed but not otherwise" he smirks and says in that silky voice you loved "I know you do, my sweet" you giggle and say "stop, that Loki!"

He chuckles "alright I'll stop" you give Loki a peck on the lips and he smiles "I was so worried that you wouldn't live, never do that again, ok?" You reply "I won't don't worry and I didn't mean to worry you" Loki replies "I know but you did" you lift your top slightly and your eyes widen "it's completely healed" Loki replies "that's because I healed you to the best of my ability," you ask "were, you here the whole time?" Loki replies "yes I was, I didn't want to leave your side, especially in an unfamiliar place and... I was worried about you and the baby."

You smile slightly "I guess you do care" Loki replies "I've always cared, I'm just a bit of a fool sometimes" you lift a brow "sometimes? And just a bit?" Loki replies "don't push it" you reply "ok" you put Loki's hand on your stomach and the baby moves against his touch he smiles and says "our, little gift" you smile and nod he kisses the top of your hand and you ask "when are we gonna tell Thor?" Loki shrugs "I guess if he's alive whenever we think it's the right time, or he'll just see it right away" you nod and Loki says "you know, we haven't actually started thinking of names for the baby."

You reply "no, we haven't," Loki asks "want to?" You reply "of, course I do if you do as well that is?" Loki replies "I wouldn't have suggested it otherwise"

[creativemorningsdublin-blog]

Meet our Musician: ROE

Meet our Musician: ROE

Our musician for the month of April is ROE. Devastatingly sincere and relatable, ROE is a songwriter that pours her heart into every word that she writes. Her work spills truths from her own life, and from speculations on the planet on which we exist. Hailing from Derry, NI, ROE left college before finishing to travel the world playing festivals and to focus on writing songs that felt real. Her 2020 EP ‘Things We Don’t Talk About’ saw ROE cross 1 million streams on Spotify and is the culmination of 4 years of relentless writing, releasing and touring as a completely independent artist.

We sat down with ROE to talk about all things creative.

What does our monthly theme of procrastination mean to you? Procrastination is, for me, taking time away from something that you love just to make it better. I'm one for procrastinating all the time and then whenever I finally sit down to do something it works out really well because I've taken that time away. People perceive it as a negative thing, but I think that having that time is important.

What do you find most challenging about the creative process?

Probably the hardest thing for me is actually taking the time to sit down and write and keep going with this thing that I love. This is my career but also, it's therapy for me; sitting down and writing and knowing that it's good for my head. So whenever I procrastinate I know that I'm procrastinating because I can feel it in my brain.

You've quite a close-knit team, I love that you guys are all friends and that's such a big part of who you are as an artist. So is the solo time where it's just you in your room, writing, is that where you find committing to doing that most difficult?

Yeah because there's nobody there to push you on to do it, you’re literally relying on yourself to do this thing and you know that it's going to take maybe an hour or whatever. And I’ve started this technique where you put a timer on your phone for 15 minutes to do something and that's been very helpful. I know that it's only a tiny section of time that I have to do the task for and then you end up doing it for far longer because you're really into it.

But whenever I have the team around me, I feel the buzz. Whenever they’re around you and everybody is kind of gearing towards the same goal really. It brings you out of your shell as well, because when you're having the craic with people and you're all thinking about the same thing and they’re all like-minded and just want to get the best out of everything that you do. Especially whenever it’s my own stuff, because everything I write is written by me and it's kind of my baby, so it's nice having people around that make you kind of think that OK, I'm an actual professional musician. And they're just there to support you the whole way and I love that.

Is there any experience in particular that you've been reminiscing about? You know those moments that you live in?

Yeah, we were on tour just before lockdown happened up here. Literally just got back home in time and we had the show down in Dublin in Whelan’s Main Room and before that, we'd sold out upstairs and that night was just insane, and it was crazy because we were literally on stage and then we had to go back home up to Derry.

It was just a complete rush the whole night and it was just the best craic and I miss the connection with people. I miss the whole buzz after the show and just talking to people after the show and just chatting to people about their own experiences.

This whole point in life just feels so surreal because everybody’s taken a pause in everything that they do, especially in the creative sector and it's one of those professions that are really tied into your personal life as well. We were chatting about how like most of my friends, if not all of my friends, are involved in the music scene or the creative scene in some way. And I miss that being at a show with them so much and I miss just the thrill of being on stage and being able to perform my songs with people.

Do you think that mental health is the main message in your songs that will keep cropping up and is what’s really important to you or are there other themes that you’ve started to bring into your writing over the past year?

For me, writing is really personal. It's kind of like a diary, a scary diary, but I use writing as a form of therapy, so everything that I write is very much linked to my mental health and the things that I go through, and people really close to me go through. And it’s a way of getting these thoughts out of my head without having to talk about it because I am the worst person, as much as I sing about it, I'm really bad at talking about my mental health and actually opening up to people.

So I think if I can do that in a way that helps other people as well as it helps me. That's the aim for me. You know it's just to connect with people and have a little bit of hope because all of these songs that I write, they might have really sad topics behind them or themes behind them, but I get to do what I love because of them. I get to connect with people, I get to talk to people and get to make friendships and it came from all of these mental health songs that I've written about. It makes me realise how important it is to talk about these things, especially if you have the strength to.

I still get terrified before I go on stage because I know that I'm pouring my heart out on stage in front of all these people and I have no idea how it's going to go each night, but it's really important to me to keep spreading that message of: It's OK to have mental health issues. Everybody has some form of mental health issues. Nobody is perfect and it feels like a very human thing to communicate. I don't understand why there's such a stigma around it.

How do you feel about the narrative that if you write music, you don’t need therapy, that the music is therapy and is cathartic?

I think if you need help, get help. Your music isn't going to suffer because your mental health is getting better, and I think that's really important for people to understand.

There's this narrative of a tortured artist and you have to be suffering to make good art, and there's no logic in that. There's no reason why you can't better your mental health and feel happier and still write really good songs.

If you need help, get help. Your music isn't more important than your own mental state.

This year loads of people have been learning new coping mechanisms… are there any rituals that you do before stage or daily?

It's something that I'm working on. I've been reading into it a lot more. There's this book called Sound Advice that I've absolutely been loving and it's about creating rituals, especially with your bandmates, because you need a connection before you go on stage, that's why people play ball games or silly word games before they go on stage, to get that connection and bring the best onto the stage.

But before all this, I definitely took maybe 5 minutes before I went on stage and just didn't talk to anybody. I'd kind of take the time for myself because of the nature of the songs. I had to be in the right mindset to go sing them before, without breaking down onstage.

It's talked about all the time, how exercise helps your brain, and so I've started running and doing yoga a lot more and not for any physical benefits. But just because I know that it's going to help me in the long term and my brain.

What habits do you think you've had to unlearn over the last few years?

Finding my voice was difficult. We're in the middle of recording my album and this time I've taken the reins a little bit and realise that I like having a hand in everything in every aspect of my music. So, I'm definitely a lot more assertive than what I was, maybe three or four years ago whenever I was just starting out. And it is something that you learn – that you have a voice. And you're allowed to use it, even if you're young.

Some of the youngest people in this industry are the ones with the most inspirational ideas.

Always remember that you have a voice and you're allowed to have that creative expression and guide your own music like it's your music, so don't let anybody else take charge of it.

You put up a post recently saying that you were really excited about your new tunes and how they were really different... in what way are you excited about them being different?

They’re very true to what the songs are about. It’s shown in my writing how I’ve evolved as an artist. Practice makes everything better, so I'm really proud of these songs and I'm really excited about them. The whole mental health thing has carried over a whole lot and I'm glad that it has and I don't think I'll ever step away from talking about things like that.

There's been so much talk about how the music industry needs to step up, and I think it's really important to talk about these things ... what do you wish people knew about being a musician that isn't always visible or obvious?

All of the hours that go into and everything that goes into behind the music. Whenever people hear your music, it's a finished product. It's all shiny and bright and they don't realise how much has gone into the thought, the artwork or the production or the videos and all that aspect of it as well.

I think it's really hard to see music as a nine to five because you always end up coming up with ideas and the best ideas that I have always come at like two in the morning whenever I'm going to sleep, and I have to roll over and write them in my notes app or else I won't remember them in the morning.

Is there anything else you would say about your new tunes?

I’m being very mysterious at the minute! We’re working away trying to get everything done for my debut album and it’s the first time that I've had so much space to sit with every aspect of a project without shows in between. I want it to be something special to me and I think putting in the time into it is making that real.

What do you hope for the music industry going forward, what changes would you want to see?

That it’s more of a gender-neutral environment, especially when it comes to radio because I think everybody has seen the disparity when it comes to Irish radio at the minute. I want to see more opportunities for women in the music industry that aren't token, that you're not the only woman on the line-up.

Also more transparency. There’s a lack of transparency when it comes to a lot of the industry stuff and I know my manager, Liam, he's been great at the minute because he's started this Instagram page all about the industry and everything you need to know about labels, publishers. Everybody seems to keep to themselves and I wish that there was less of this competitive nature. There's room for everybody to get the opportunities that they deserve and there shouldn't be this need to be better than somebody, because we're all in this.

I want it to feel like more of a community than competition. I feel like if there was a worldwide community of musicians and everybody in the music industry was helping each other, that would be the day.

I think if it was more accessible and more open to young artists, people wouldn't be as scared or feel as if they need somebody else to know all this stuff. They wouldn't be taken advantage of. There needs to be more education when it comes to that, especially when it comes to the younger artists.

---

You can check out ROE's music here.

[shineyma]

1st, I am beyond excited and grateful that you took the time to write all this!! I asked for a rant, Amy, you delivered. 2nd, /I/ should apologize because my reply's probs gonna be long. (Half an ask already. Ugh, I'm hopeless, and you extremely polite.) I'd seen Fitz said Deke's the worst to be their grandson, but not that he persisted! GO, FITZ!! Didn't Iain use to say back in S1 that he didn't want FS to happen? I loved him for it, esp when Liz can't seem to do anything other than wax (1/9)

the rest go under the cut because it’s a lot of asks XD

poetic about FS. (Whyyy, Liz?? Seriously, does she talk about anything other than FS?) LBR though, Fitz is #relatable here. I’ve watched 3 S5 eps and seen many spoilers, and Deke’s 95% a dick, right?? I think TPTB might’ve been going for that particular FS brand of determined, unapologetic, do-what’s-necessary but their compassion and drive to protect were always evident even in their “harsher/colder” actions/attitudes/treatments. (I’m missing the right words but you know, right??) /But/ (2/9)

they missed the mark by 100 miles. Anyway. Frankly, Amy, Jemma fighting viciously Fitz’s pessimism and fatalism, esp by putting forth a positive twist on fatalism (for lack of a better word) has rubbed me so wrong for so long. It’s not necessarily ooc?? But it’s also not Jemma in a right mental and emotional state?? (You’re getting a terrible description of what I mean but I’m no good for anything else right now.) Like she’s broken, resigned, fighting for some thing that just happened, (3/9)

that she didn’t consciously choose, it was forced on her through guilt of her own and of others’ making, and through others pushing for it, and she’s sort of accepted it, it’s just part of her life now, vaguely, automatically placed under the “good stuff” category, and everything around her is in chaos, so she just fights for /it/? I don’t know. There’s a difference between “the universe says we’re gonna be together, look at the signs!!” and “we want to be together and we’ll work for it”. (4/9)

About the logic fail, Jemma probs grabbed onto that “my mom told me the ‘right direction’ thing which her mom had told her”, ergo she raised her some, and coupled with the need to make Fitz feel better and the talk with yet another always unhelpful team member (😒), she just went for that stupid line. Does that make it not ooc? Well, /no/. *makes a paper plane out of your last 3 bullet points and shoots it @ TPTB, yelling “TAKE NOTES!”* Amy, in the AOS house we don’t perform surgery to the (5/9)

tune of melodies that calm and steady and help us concentrate. In the AOS house, we perform surgery while conversing on things that test our ability to hold back tears and shouts and shaking and violence, because we’re hardcore. So, the dog thing. @ Hydra WTF??!!?! Yeah, I’m glad I missed that. And OK, can someone finally confirm if Ward shot Buddy??!! It’s getting ridiculous. I say probs nah, because John used to prod him too often for not being cruel enough, but… I don’t know. Also, (6/9)

I’m so glad Ward didn’t attend Hydra’s School for Young Octopi!! I mean, everything does point to that!! :D Teen!Ward busted out at 17 and dumped in the woods, switching to Brett!Ward still in the woods, John alluding to Ward shooting Buddy and finally leaving the woods as the end of his training and immediate beginning of his SHIELD career… If he attended any Academy, that was SHIELD Ops. It’s canon! New Ward backstory! I LOVE IT!! OK, because Hydra has that elitist vibe, I’m imagining (7/9)

more of a posh-secret-club-inside-the-academy kind of thing?? You know, like the actual Piggate scandal with the UK PM, and there’s many a movie too that show secret societies inside colleges etc, whose members are wealthy kids of old families, and their fathers were members before them, and their grandfathers, and they have weird, twisted rituals. You know the kind. Malick, his daughter and the council of people they had brought to meet Hive, they remind me of that. Anyway, I’m still not (8/9)

forgiving Ruby for what she did to Elena, but the dog thing and the Hydra-engineered super-baby thing are something…?? I’d have to watch S5 to pass judgement and LOL NO, I ain’t about to do that. I thiiink I’m done. Man, I hope that was some damn good strawberry shortcake. I’m gonna need all the favor I can get. 😇 ❤❤❤❤ Also, what’s a strawberry shortcake and why are people discriminating against its physique??? Ah, and why do you use that squiggly line (~) at the end of some words??? (9/9)

Okay! Here we go! XD

First off, I…..go back and forth on Liz’s support of fs. On the one hand, it’s silly to hold it against her; it’s not like attacking her own storyline would be a smart move, either with fans (who for some reason overwhelmingly support it) or with Jed&Mo (who, after all, have made clear that they based fs’ relationship off their own). Sure, Iain got away with it, but look at the way the show treats Fitz vs. Jemma……he’s clearly the favorite. *side eyes aos* Plus, fs being together gets her more scenes with more people (gotta have everyone reminding her how destined~ she and Fitz are after all!!), so it’s understandable she’d like it.

That said….HOW CAN SHE NOT SEE HOW TERRIBLE IT IS? I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

And we could talk about that all day so…moving on!

Deke started out as the harsh/cold/doing what’s necessary to survive in a terrible environment character (he SOLD DAISY TO KASIUS because he was afraid her search for Jemma would endanger the rest of them), but the show kind of….dropped that? And tried to switch him to the lovable moron instead? It’s weird.

As for Jemma’s optimism……I guess I can’t totally blame her. Like, she does love Fitz, that’s clear enough. I personally don’t think she’d have gotten there if she hadn’t been constantly pushed towards him, or if he hadn’t made a big deal of “I can’t be just friends,” therefore forcing her to choose between a romantic relationship with her best friend or NOTHING AT ALL of him, but. Whatever.

My point was, she loves him. And he is CONSTANTLY going on about how they’re cursed and they’re never gonna work out and how ‘doesn’t sound great for the girlfriend’ and ‘I don’t deserve you’ and blah blah negativity. And it is just super not fair to her that she has to forever fight this attitude of his and try to keep him positive about THEIR RELATIONSHIP, something he should be excited and positive about ON HIS OWN. Ugh.

So from that perspective, I guess I can see why she’d cling to this, as evidence~ they’re not doomed and they’re gonna be okay. Good point, nonnie!

And another good point: I’d forgotten about the daughter saying that her mom had said the steps in the right direction stuff! to her That makes Jemma’s logic fail a little less egregious, I feel better now.

Oh, right, silly me. Of course aos is way too hardcore to want to focus on the situation at hand when surgery is underway!

I think the show kinda confirmed that it was Grant who shot Buddy? In 2x21 when Bobbi was trying to talk Kara out of the whole….torture thing that was about to happen, she tried to convince her that Grant was grooming her and that he probably started small and probably was started small himself, and Kara was like “yeah, Garrett made him shoot his dog.” So that probably counts as confirmation.

(But I am all about #denial so I choose to ignore it. Alternate explanation: Garrett was the one who did it but Grant wanted to use the story to connect to Kara, so he was creative with the truth. See? It still works!)

And yep! Garrett said, when he finally got Grant from the woods, that he’d gotten him into the ops academy! Which admittedly was four whole seasons before this mess and probably they didn’t know yet they were gonna give Hydra its own Academy, but why would Garrett make Grant do the dog test in the woods if he was about to go to Hydra and have to do it all over again? Doesn’t make sense! So yes, definitely Grant went to SHIELD Academy.

As for the “posh” sense you get of Hydra, nonnie, you are SO NOT WRONG. Hydra’s Academy was seriously SO prep school vibes, I can’t even fully describe it. They had UNIFORMS, nonnie! Suit and tie uniforms with HYDRA LOGOS on the breast pocket!!!! It was…….ridiculous. Ri. di. cu. lous.

And right? TOTALLY NOT COOL that Ruby cut off Elena’s arms, but I have some sympathy for her now. Some.

And thank you for asking, the strawberry shortcake was DELICIOUS! And it’s not discrimination (XD; I literally lol’d, nonnie, thanks for that)—strawberry shortcake is a dessert with sliced, sugared strawberries, whipped cream, and a kind of cake that’s called “shortcake” because of its crumbly, sometimes crispy texture. It is THE BEST and I’m so sad it doesn’t exist in your life. I’m sorry, nonnie.

ETA: sometimes people use spongecake instead of shortcake when making strawberry shortcake. these people are wrong and should not be trusted.

As for the squiggly line, it’s hard to explain! 

Sometimes, I use it to add a note of sarcasm or mocking. Since tone is hard to convey online, it helps me get my meaning across (and feels necessarily mean, in such statements as “Jemma and Fitz are destined~”)!

Other times, it’s more…..hm…..like a gesture, maybe? Like in my rant I wrote “the glory of Hive~” and the sguiggly was meant to convey a kind of handwave, like “the glory of Hive and all that stuff the Hive-worshiping parts of Hydra would concern themselves with.” Does that make sense?

I don’t know, it’s kind of like the tumblr habit of randomly capitalizing words in the middle of a sentence, you know? Sometimes it’s for emphasis, sometimes it’s for sarcasm, sometimes it’s just because it feels right. I hope that makes at least a little sense. XD

Thanks very much for the conversation, nonnie! Sorry it was such a struggle getting your thoughts to me!

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 15 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (14)

Next part (16) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

Missing

There are seven holes. Seven. But they aren't seven different nests, they're tunnels, with seven openings to the surface of the Earth. You only know that because Eleven spent the whole night focused on finding them, seated in the living room of Joyce's place, a piece of fabric covering her eyes. The map from before remained on the floor beside her, and she reached out to draw where the tunnels reach. You barely had any sleep, just the pair of hours you slept with your head on Billy's shoulder, seated on the couch, but someone's voice woke you up.

Relief fills your heart when the morning comes. During the night, you could only think about those things lurking around. After a quick shower, and using one of Eleven's shirt, you go to the kitchen and decide to have breakfast there, where you can be alone. Eating a bowl of cereal, you run a hand through your hair, trying to understand how are you going back to the pool today and act like none of this is happening.

“Hey, princess,” Billy says, coming into the kitchen. Hair is still wet and wearing only his jacket. “Are you ok?”

“I'm trying to be.” Pushing the bowl away, you watch as he makes himself the same meal you had. “Wondering how am I going to work today.”

“Wanna stay here? I can tell Anthony that you're sick. If he even shows up.”

“No. It'll be worse if I stay.” You're confused, not sure what's the best or what's worse. But at least in the pool you'll have something normal going on.

“Hey, you two,” Joyce says as she comes in. Her voice gets your attention, and when you look at her after exchanging a glance with Billy, you see that Hopper is right behind her, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed together. “How are you two doing?”

“Uhm... Good.” It sounds like a question. Joyce sits at the table, with Hopper standing behind her. He has the chief face on, and you have no idea why. “Everything alright? Are we in trouble or something?” Gesturing at you and Billy, and cross your legs, an eye on the clock because you'll still need to stop by home to get the swimsuit.

“No, of course not. It's just that the kids were talking about something and–”

“Are you two living together?" Hopper speaks up, swallowing Joyce's words. She gives him a hard stare, and there's some kind of conversation going on through facial expressions that you can't understand.

“Yes.” You answer, not sure why you're in this situation in the first place. You feel like you're having the talk with Diane all over again. Diane. You have to call her, just to make sure everything is alright. “Why?”

“There were some rumors running around that–”

“That Billy Hargrove got some chick pregnant.” Hopper again. But this time Joyce slaps his arm.

“We agreed you'd let me do this.” She whispers.

“Then just get to the damn point.” He snaps back.

With wide eyes, you look at Billy. He doesn't seem bothered by this, peacefully eating his cereal. There's a smile on his lips that he tries to hold back, but you know him far too well now. You can see it. He's having fun.

“Look, guys, Uhm... These rumors started after I fainted on the pool, but it was from heat exhaustion, so...” Deciding to just end whatever this is, you speak up, kicking Billy's leg and whispering to him. “Say something.”

“(Y/N), honey, do your parents know about that?”

This makes you laugh, but then you remember Joyce doesn't know about your relationship, or better saying, the lack of it. “No, and I don't plan on doing that. But my aunt Diane does.”

“And she allowed it?” Hopper takes his time pronouncing every word as if this is absurd. “You're lucky you're not my daughter.”

“Hopper, just...” Joyce mumbles, her voice fading. “We just wanted to make sure you guys are... You know... Going somewhere with this. Living together is something really big and important to do.”

“I'll only say two things.” Billy finally makes his presence known, getting up and throwing his bowl in the sink. “First of all, I'm planning on marrying (Y/N). Second, we better go now or we'll be late. Again.”

There's a weird buzz in your ears as Billy takes your hand and starts pulling you with him. Joyce and Hopper have wide eyes, mouth half-open, in shock. You're not that different, and all your body is able to do is keep following Billy outside and to his car. You're silently looking through the window as he drives, but you're doing that on purpose, just to get back at him for saying that out of the blue.

“Aren't you gonna say anything?” He asks parking in front of the house.

“Absolutely not.” Stepping out of the car, you don't wait for him, heading inside. “If you really wanna do what you said, I'll patiently wait until you propose, Hargrove.” Turning around just enough to wink at him, you bite back a smile.

You're quick to get ready and manage not to be late. The song is blasting when Billy pulls over on his parking spot, and the moment the song is gone, you hear the chattering, noticing three police cars.

Your heart skips a beat when you leave the car, taking a deep breath. “Hey,” Billy calls, taking your hand. “Let's check what happened before jumping to conclusions, ok?”

“Ok.” Holding his arm, you move to the entrance, where a small crowd gathers. Hopper is here, and by the messy way of his clothes, he had to run over here. He immediately notices you and Billy, a sad look on his face. And that's when you see Monica, running a hand through her hair, tears glistening on her cheeks.

“Mon?” Calling, you let go of Billy and runs to her. Monica breaks a little bit when she sees you, and you're quick to hug her. “Mon, what happened?”

“It's Jason. My cousin is missing, (Y/N).” She cries on your shoulder, and you close your eyes tight because the first thing that comes to your head is probably what got him. The Demodogs. “He went out yesterday to buy dinner a-and his mom called mine saying he was taking long and...” You pull away, holding her hands. “...that was early evening yesterday. And he's still missing. The family spent the whole night looking for him and–”

“Mon, I'm sure we'll find him.” It's hard to lie. It's even harder not to break down in front of her. “Maybe he felt bad and fainted or something like that. We'll find him.”

“I hope so.”

“I'll drive you home, ok? Billy can keep the pools safe for one day.”

When she nods, drying off some tears, you make your way over him, who's talking to Hopper. He probably already knows, but you try to keep a straight face.

“Come here, princess.” He opens his arms and you don't even hesitate, hugging him tightly. “I'm so sorry. But we'll find him. The party is already aware of everything.” Whispering on my ear, Billy places a kiss on the top of your hair.

“I...” Getting rid of the single tear that escaped your efforts to hold it back, you pull away. “I'll take her home, she's very shaken. Can you just keep an eye–”

“Keep an eye on the kids, of course.” He bends over to kiss you, and your arms, almost automatically, move to be around his neck. “I'll pick you up after work, ok? I love you.”

“I love you.” It still makes you blush to hear those words, but you absolutely love to say it back. After one last kiss, you part ways.

Monica talks as you drive to her place, sharing memories with her cousin. Some of them you already know, but you don't stop her, laughing and making silly comments, trying to keep her mind away from the fact that Jason is missing.

Your mind also starts remembering. Obviously, you didn't have all the time around Jason that Monica had, but he was one of the first people you met when you got here. He's always smiling, carrying his siblings around, always complaining, but always happy to be with them. Jason is funny, even when he's the only one who actually gets his jokes.

Jason is missing.

Demidogs need a lot of food. An almost 6 feet tall male human has a lot of meat.

Shaking your head lightly, you push these thoughts away. No breaking down now. Monica needs you strong, to keep her strong too. Her family is either at Jason's or still looking, so you're alone. Both of you stay seated on her bed, and you give her your shoulder when she starts crying again. He's gone for one night and she's already losing it... If anything bad happens...

Her parents return home a couple of hours later, thankful to you for taking her back home. You drag her into the living room, turning the TV on this random movie and trying to convince her to pay some attention. You can hear her parents in the kitchen, making lunch, but you also hear when her mother cries, the low, cracking voice as she talks to her husband. It's getting hard by the minute to stay here, pretending you don't know what probably happened, but if you cry, if you start doubting Jason is ok, Monica will break apart.

A knock on the door, an unusually loud and frenetic knock, gets your attention. Looking over your shoulder, you see as Monica's father goes to answer it.

“Hi. Is (Y/N) here?” You hear a feminine voice, and you soon recognize it's Nancy.

Excusing yourself, you get up. “Yes, she's–”

“Hey.” You go to the front door, seeing Nancy and two cars in the sidewalk, many eyes looking at you. “Something wrong?”

“Sorry, but we need you. Uhm... Maxine is sick. We need to have a doctor check on her.”

“What?” You exclaim, running a hand through your hair. “Mon.” Calling her, you quickly make your way back to the living room. “I'm so sorry, but Maxine is feeling ill, I have to go. But I promise I'll call you later, ok?”

“Sure. Go help.” She says, nodding and clearing her throat since her voice is all clouded by her crying.

“Stay calm, honey. Jason is alright, I'm sure.” Another lie. You shouldn't make promises you don't know if you can keep. Giving her a quick hug, you run outside, muttering a goodbye to Mon's father as Nancy does the same.

“We'll go looking for him.” She says in a low voice as you move toward the cars. “We don't stand still when shit happens.”

Her choice of words makes you raise your eyebrows. You never heard her saying anything like that. “Thanks.” Muttering, you seat shotgun in Steve's car as she goes to Jonathan's. There are four kids on the back seat, fighting for some more space. You're happy to see Max is alright. For a moment, you thought she was really sick.

You park in the woods, and there are already some people here. Everyone but Hopper, because he has to be in the official search party, and Billy. God, you wish Billy was here.

“Alright, let's do this,” Mike says, and he freely starts separating you in groups. “Eleven and Will with me. Lucas, Jonathan, and Robin. Uhm... Max, Steve, and (Y/N). Joyce–”

“Why are you messing up the groups, man. I wanna go with Max.” Lucas complains and Mike rolls his eyes. “Groups of four, as usual.”

“Since when?”

“Alright, just gather in groups, c'mon, guys,” Joyce says, eyeing both her kids until they go to stand by her side, alongside Nancy.

You move to stand with Max and Lucas, and after playing rock, paper, scissors with Robin, Steve comes to your group. You raise your eyebrows at him, trying to get why they had to use that method to choose a group. “Nobody wants to be with these two lovebirds.” He says when he's close enough.

“That's something I can understand.” There's no doubt Max and Lucas are into each other, but they're constantly fighting. It's funny to watch, actually.

“Let's get started then, guys. Be careful, pay attention to the radios, and let's find Jason.” Joyce announces, taking over Hopper's role in this.

And everyone starts moving, each group in a different direction. You're going to the holes first, just to check, and then you'll cover a specific area. Max and Lucas are once again responsible for the map and walk a couple of feet ahead.

“Hey. Take this.” Steve gets your attention, taking the bat from his backpack and handing it over to you. “I know Jason was a close friend of yours. Sorry this happened.”

“Yeah.” You lay the bat over your shoulder, careful not to entangle your hair in the nails. “I really thought it couldn't get any worse but life proved me wrong.”

“I remember when Will went missing. I was a total jerk back then so I didn't really care.” You glance over to Steve, and he has an apologetic look on his face. “They found the body and there was a funeral. But the body was fake and Will was fine in the end.”

“Someone should make a movie out of that story.” You mumble, taking a deep breath. “Do you think Jason could be in the... Upside Down?”

“No. According to Eleven, no portals were open. The Demodogs just made these woods into their new home and are doing what it takes to survive.” Through the corner of your eyes, you see when he almost slips, opening his arms slightly to regain balance. “Don't laugh.” He says, but you're already chuckling. “Anyway, wherever he is, he's here.”

“Why don't we tell Eleven to just use her powers and find him. Wouldn't it be easier?”

“These woods are huge. And we usually just do that when it's the last resource.” Lucas answers.

“We don't like pushing her. It always brings back sad memories.”

That's something you can understand perfectly. “We do it the old way then.” You've seen how complicated it is. Eleven's nose wouldn't stop bleeding while she was figuring out the tunnels, and after while blood came out of her ears too. As much as you want to find Jason, you'd never ask her or the party to do something just so you'd feel better. They're in it far longer than you, so you trust them to make the decisions and set the pace. “I just hope he's alright. He's Monica's cousin, and she's worried to death.”

“Yeah, I get that.” It doesn't go unnoticed how Steve doesn't make false promises as you did with Monica. He doesn't say he's ok, that you'll find him. Running a hand through your hair, you take a deep breath, confused between having hopes or just expecting the worse. “So, changing the subject.” He speaks again. “You and Hargrove. I never thought Billy would actually fall in love.”

A smile comes to your lips, and you're thankful for having something else to think about. “Yeah. It took a while for me to believe that but he... He worked hard.” Involuntary, your hand goes for the necklace, fingers playing with the earring.

“Joyce and Hopper were saying something about marriage...” It sounds like a question, and you give Steve a glance, giggling. “They were trying not to let anyone hear them but Hopper doesn't really know how to whisper.”

By the heat spreading through your cheeks, you know you're blushing. Could it be real? Would Billy marry you? Is he really considering such a thing? “We spoke about it, Uhm... Twice, I think. But not a real conversation, he just spilled it out.”

“Holy shit, he's going serious with you then.” He playfully elbows your arm. By what you've seen and by what Max told you, Steve usually grows protective of everyone since he joined the party, and you think it's cute. He's like everyone's babysitter. “Send me an invitation, would you?”

“I will.”

“You–”

Maxine's yell cuts him short, getting your attention as you notice you have fallen behind. Immediately, you and Steve start running towards then.

“Man, that's...” Lucas says as Max hugs him, eyes tightly shut.

You're about to ask them what the hell happened when you follow Lucas' scared stare.

It's a weird sensation when you're brain refuses to take in the information. When your eyes, focused on something, are blind. And your ears are deaf and the wind blowing doesn't touch your skin. It's like you're not there.

Jason's body is stuck between a big rock and a dead tree. His torso is opened up, and there's nothing inside.

As there's nothing inside Jason anymore. He's empty. Body and soul. There will be no laughter leaving his lips, no more jokes, no more arms to carry his baby siblings around. Nothing. Just flesh and bones, both ripped apart.

“(Y/N).” You're sure it's not the first time you hear someone calling your name, but you're not even sure where it comes from.

You only move when an arm pulls you, and you feel it around you. “We have to go. C'mon.” Steve says, and, far and distant, you hear static, and voices, coming from the radio. “(Y/N).”

“I need Billy.” It's the only thing that comes to your head, and you find a way to force the words out of your throat.

“Alright, let's go,” Steve says, and you're only set on motion because of his arm around your shoulders.

Everything is a blur. You notice people moving around, and some of them come to hug you as they start regrouping near the cars. Nodding and thanking their kind words, you remain silent, arms crossed, the image still burning in your brain.

Jason's rib cage broken open, the blood staining his clothes and the ground around him. His head twisted in an awkward way, neck probably disconnected from the body.

“Let's get moving. She wants to talk to Billy.”

“The pool will close in an hour. Take her home.”

“No, she's scaring me. We need to take her to Billy.” Max intervenes, and Steve pulls you to his car. You let Max seat shotgun, feeling better in the backseat where you can curl into a ball, knees pressed against your chest as the landscape passes by.

It reminds you the first time you saw that thing. You were trying to beat Billy, driving back to your place. Maybe, if you had gone to the police station the next day, let them know something was out there, you could've avoided this. But who would believe you? You didn't believe it either. What are you going to tell Monica? After saying things would be ok, that they would find Jason alive and well when you knew being out in the woods all night long probably meant he'd become Demodog's meal.

You knew it, yet you lied. Vain hope is the worst kind of hope, and that's what you gave her.

“(Y/N).” Steve gets your attention, touching your shoulder. “We're at the pool.”

Blinking a few times to wake up from the stupor, you bolt out of the car, making your way to the entrance. It's crowded today, but you don't see faces, you just see obstacles.

It finally starts kicking in.

You went to find Jason, and you did. But instead of the dear friend you so easily grew to love, you found a dead, empty corpse. The tears threat to overflow as you rudely bump into people, making your way through the pool. At a distance, you see the moment Billy finally notices the commotion, his eyes quick to find you. By the way his face changes, the way he takes off his sunglasses and jumps to the ground, shoving people out of his way, you must be looking terrible.

But you don't care. Billy is everything you need, the only thing you see and you know you can break down in his arms. You just need to reach him, and when you do, you collapse against his chest, not able to hold back the tears anymore, the sobs building up your throat as you hold onto him.

“I'm so sorry,” Billy mumbles in your ear. He knows. How could he not?

You suddenly feel him lifting you up, and you hide your teary face on the crook of his neck. Seconds later you're at the locker room, and Billy screams for the other girls to get out as he puts you down, seated on one of the benches.

“I'm so sorry, (Y/N).” He repeats, kneeled before you, thumbs coming to dry off some tears, just to make space for more.

“I saw him. H-he was all eaten, Billy. His body was-his body was wide open and everything was gone–”

“Stop, stop.” He begs, pulling you into a hug. “You don't have to tell me, not now.” Nodding, you take in his scent, feeling safe, secure, despite the terror creeping under your skin. “I'll take you home, ok?”

“No.” You mutter, pulling away just enough so you're foreheads are touching. You don't know what comes to you, but this has to be said. This feeling has to be let out. Not after, not tomorrow. Now. Maybe it's the fact that you saw death for the very first time. You just need to let him know “You're my home.”

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