#( dash games ) / ✦ somebody make me feel alive and shatter me !

[eiiskonigin]

what form of gentle affection are you?

brushing loose hair behind your lover's ear

the gentle tenderness and care... deep yearning from the barest brush of skin... wanting to ask for more but being unsure... you spend a lot of time worrying about whether or not you will find love, and sometimes aren’t even sure if romance is something worth pursuing. you have spent so long being on your own, you simply struggle to picture yourself beside another person. perhaps you even secretly worry that you are too much for another person. it it important to not think of yourself as someone unlovable, as you are just as deserving of romance as any. however, it is also important to not place your value on relationships; you are a complete person on your own.

tagged by: nobody, stole it uwu tagging: steal it back, you cowards

[noodlebcy]

What were your last words?

"This plan is flawless"

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Extra 8

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Extra: Tan Zaozao

Tan Zaozao had filmed many movies, had played countless characters. She'd been the bewitching dancer, the heroic swordswoman, the loving mother, the young woman who just could not extricate herself from the throes of love.

Every character was different, just as every person led a different life.

When Tan Zaozao first got into the entertainment circle, she had had an accident: while she was shooting a scene on horseback, she had been careless, and fallen off the horse. Her injuries had been terrible, and she'd almost lost her life. A close friend of hers came to visit her in the hospital and completely chewed her out, asking if she wanted to die, why didn't she use a stunt double for such a dangerous occasion.

Tan Zaozao had answered with a smile: "My life's not worth that much."

Tan Zaozao had been young back then, and completely without fear of death. She’d thought she would always be that way, until one day, she went on a talk show. When Tan Zaozao walked out of her dressing room, she discovered that the corridor that ought to have led to the soundstage had turned into twelve metal doors. Every single door looked exactly the same, emanating an icy chill.

Seeing such a thing, the smile on Tan Zaozao's face went stiff. Her first reaction was to wonder if this was a prank organized by production, and so she forced down the unsettled feeling in her chest. She kept it up until…she pulled open one of the doors.

When the door opened, she appeared in an unfamiliar location. All around her was a desolate graveyard, and before her loomed a dark and enormous castle.

Tan Zaozao followed the path slowly forward. In the clearing in front of the ancient castle, she spotted several people standing together, discussing something in whispers. All their faces were strange to her, and when they saw her, they just tossed over momentary gazes before looking away again.

"Excuse me, where are we?" Tan Zaozao asked.

Nobody answered her question.

"Is this for a show?" An onslaught of bad feeling was crashing over Tan Zaozao's chest, and she asked this question with great caution. Only, somebody in the crowd took on a mocking expression.

"For a show? You've seen such a realistic show before?"

Tan Zaozao went silent.

Though she held onto a thread of hope, wishing this were a hyperrealistic prank show, that hope was ruthlessly dashed when she saw the first person die. That person's death was miserable—they were covered from wounds from head to toe, and all of their blood had been sucked out. They could not have been more dead.

Tan Zaozao stared at that corpse, frozen where she stood. That was the first time she became truly conscious of the fact that this wasn't a prank, nor was it some sort of realistic game. Here, death was a very real possibility.

Tan Zaozao's first door wasn't too difficult, relatively speaking. She was pretty lucky, and came out alive. When she returned to the real world, she almost immediately had an emotional breakdown, terrifying the assistant beside her.

"Zaozao, are you alright?" the assistant asked in worry.

"Where were you?!" Tan Zaozao said angrily. "Why didn't you help me?"

The assistant looked back at her blankly.

"What do you mean…where? Haven't you been sitting here the whole time?"

Tan Zaozao startled, saying, "I've been sitting here the whole time?"

"Yeah," the assistant answered. "You've been just sitting here, spacing out…"

Tan Zaozao went silent, and faintly came to understand something. But before she could figure it all out, the assistant was rushing her onto the stage. The interview was starting.

Onstage, Tan Zaozao was inattentive, answering the host's questions on and off and absently. The host saw that something was off, and just as he was rearing to ask, there came a terrified yell from offstage. Before the host even had time to react, there was the sound of shattering glass above his head. He looked up, and saw a black shadow plummeting toward him.

Tan Zaozao had been sitting right next to the host. She got a close-up view of that giant hanging light plunging heavily from above and smashing to the ground before her very eyes.

The host, who had just been laughing and chatting with her, became a dismembered corpse in the matter of a moment. Tan Zaozao stood there blankly, looking as if in a trance.

For Tan Zaozao to have survived this accident was practically a miracle. Lord knows she'd been sitting right next to the talk show host. The heavy lighting equipment had practically grazed her as it fell, but didn't leave a single scratch on her.

This incident that gave Tan Zaozao severe shock, and she was forced to take a break for a while.

And during this break, she finally figured out what that door was.

It was torment, and also rebirth.

Without the doors, she would already be dead. But with the doors, she still might not survive.

Through a friend, Tan Zaozao met Ruan Nanzhu, and also learned there was a whole group of people selected by the doors.

"Do you want to simply cross the doors or train in the doors?" Ruan Nanzhu asked Tan Zaozao.

Tan Zaozao, "is there a difference…"

Ruan Nanzhu, "the difference is, the first one, you don't have to think about anything, you only have to follow me. The other, you have to rely on yourself."

Tan Zaozao's answer was decisive: "I choose the first one."

"But Obsidian doesn't take doors after the fifth," Ruan Nanzhu said. "If you choose the first option, maybe you'll have an easier time surviving in the beginning, but there's no guarantee for later."

Tan Zaozao's smile was forced.

"But I really am scared."

Ruan Nanzhu went quiet. It was his agreement to Tan Zaozao's request.

Tan Zaozao really was just a normal girl. She was scared of the dark and scared of ghosts. Out of the people in Obsidian, the one she was most like was Cheng Qianli. But this likeness also meant that neither of them were suited to the doors.

Tan Zaozao made her decision. She knew her own ending, and had her doubts in the middle. But in the end, she never changed her mind.

After the fifth door, Obsidian didn't take on gigs anymore. And Tan Zaozao's journey had come to an end.

"Zaozao, how about I take you in." Lin Qiushi was a good guy. There was worry for Tan Zaozao in his eyes, but Tan Zaozao turned him down with a smile.

Deep inside her heart, she'd once worked up a bit of jealousy toward Lin Qiushi—she'd been jealous of Ruan Nanzhu's preferential treatment toward him. But after the jealousy faded, Tan Zaozao discovered that she actually understood Ruan Nanzhu very well. Lin Qiushi was so utterly lovely—he was clever, and brave, and kind, just like a glittering gemstone. Anybody would be attracted to those qualities of his. Not only Ruan Nanzhu, herself included.

If she were Ruan Nanzhu, she would probably make the same decision.

Tan Zaozao thought, melancholic: who wouldn't want a strong and brave companion?

In the end she chose another organization. That org promised her that they would bring her out of her sixth door, but they failed.

This was also within Tan Zaozao's expectations. The only thing that wasn't part of the plan was dying on her most beloved stage.

It was honestly a kindness she'd asked for. She'd wanted to die quietly, but found that she couldn't do it. In the terrifying world of the doors, a pair of hands dragged her into an endless black. And when she came out from the door, the extravagant stage was before her eyes. Beneath the stage were blinding lights, and in her ears were the shutter clicks of cameras. The audience was seeing everything, and all of it was being recorded.

When she knew death was descending, Tan Zaozao couldn't help a scream of misery—she regretted it now. She didn't want to die yet. There was still so much she wanted to do.

This wasn't fair…

But it was all too late.

Her final path had already been determined by her decision way back at the beginning.

Above her head came once more that familiar sound of shattering glass. Tan Zaozao looked up and saw the bright lights, as well as the countless shards of glass plummeting toward her. That chandelier was like a crown, crashing heavily atop her body. It broke her to pieces.

Before the darkness fell, Tan Zaozao heard panicked shouts from the people offstage. She even saw some frantic faces. As Tan Zaozao lied on the floor, a faint smile came to her lips. She felt the darkness encroach on her vision, and the eternal silence tasted, to her surprise, a bit sweet.

She sank into a long sleep from which she would never be disturbed.

[Extra: Bai Ming and Zhang Yiqing]

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: Delicate Cycle

Author: @cellophanerose

For: @akito666us

Rating/Warnings: G/No warnings apply!

Prompt: Hinata helps Komaeda to recover from PTSD

Author’s notes: Hello!  It’s my first time writing fic, but I still hope you enjoy!  It’s more of “Hinata helps Komaeda recover” in general - I hope that’s ok!  Thanks for reading!

Hinata had already known that his past was indelible, even if he couldn’t remember it.  This was something that class 77-B all had in common – their lives in despair seemed like a hazy memory of a story someone once told, not the painful truth of how responsible they all were for the effective end of the world.  Ironically, most of the class more clearly remembered what had happened in the simulation, even though only the “survivors” left with their memories completely intact. Still, it wasn’t something easily brought up – asking a murder victim if they remembered how they died, or the blackened if they could still feel the phantom pains from their executions.  Because that was the thing – although no physical harm was carried over, the mental scars cut deeper than any murder weapon.

Despite all their attempts to move forward and forgive each other, Koizumi still flinched when she ran into Pekoyama alone, and Sainoji surreptitiously rubbed her throat when she thought no one was looking.   Hanamura froze up when his batter splashed onto him, and Tanaka clutched his fists hard enough to draw blood when loud stampeding sounded. Truly, even a fictional past was inescapable, but they all silently agreed that this would be their penance.

However, Hinata noted, Komaeda remained virtually unaffected.  No panic attacks when walking by the warehouse, no nervous sweating at the sight of ropes or fire, not even the spears they used for fishing or bright red containers..

“It was something I did to myself, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda once tried to explain.  “I knew exactly what to expect and prepared myself for that. Besides, I’ve been in plenty of other terrible accidents and trauma-inducing situations!” Komaeda tried laughing it off, but Hinata still felt he wasn’t getting the whole truth.  But, since he had nothing to go on save for a gut feeling, Hinata decided to let it go for now. Plenty of his classmates vocally asked for his guidance, so he wasn’t going to pull teeth trying to get Komaeda to reach out for help. He wouldn’t even worry about it!  At all!

Or so Hinata had told himself.  Until, one night, his mind was screaming at him that he wasn’t doing enough – that he would never be enough – that offering his entire being to the sacrificial altar of Hope’s Peak Academy for a chance to mean something still wasn’t enough – kept him awake.  (Between visions of a talentless reserve, a bored god, and a dead digital girl, he hardly ever slept through the night, but none of his friends needed to know this.) Tonight, however, instead of futilely chasing sleep that was never coming for him, Hinata slipped his sneakers on and stepped outside.  He figured he could do some preliminary work for the day ahead, namely making rounds and noting any malfunctioning equipment or depleted supplies, but truthfully he just felt the need to move.

Hinata left his cottage and headed towards the communal washing machines when he noticed the light was already on.  Not an odd thing, per se – several of his peers also had trouble sleeping, but the quiet music did pique his curiosity.  It was definitely a familiar song, but he didn’t connect the dots until he opened the door and found Komaeda kneeling on the ground, looking like a marionette whose strings had been cut.  It was then it all came together in Hinata’s mind – the heat from the fire, the smoke causing his eyes to tear, the pounding of feet and the shattering of bottles, and finally the sprinklers turning on, leaving only the overwhelming feeling of dread and anxiety for reasons he was too afraid to confront.  So many sensations had led up to that point, but when they pulled back the curtain, all Hinata could remember was ((despair)). The smell of blood, the look of terror permanently affixed to his face, the spear grotesquely impaling his stomach, every nauseating detail came giftwrapped in a single thought, a single moment, a single truth – Komaeda was dead.

Hinata snapped back into the present.

Komaeda was alive, and he needed Hinata’s help.  Hinata instinctually dashed to the radio and slammed the power button, then immediately pivoted and fell onto the floor beside Komaeda.  Komaeda’s usually crisp and clear eyes were faded and swirling with a slight darkness, and his façade was distressingly blank.

“Komaeda,” Hinata was shaking, but he still placed both of his hands on Komaeda’s shoulders in an effort to ground him.  His grip tightened when he received no answer.

“Komaeda!” he raised his voice, panic bubbling inside him, “It’s okay!  I’m here with you.” He couldn’t eloquently string words of comfort together, but he tried his best.  “You’re safe, you aren’t alone, you’re going to be fine, just please listen to me!”  Komaeda offered no reassurance that the words were reaching him and continued staring blankly through Hinata, to a place only he could see.

Hinata’s hands were still trembling when he wrapped his arms around Komaeda.  They had never been physically intimate like this, but at that moment, Hinata needed to feel Komaeda’s warmth just as much as Komaeda needed Hinata.  “I’m here,” Hinata mumbled, surprising himself when the words, “I’ll always be here,” slipped out. The most shocking part, Hinata found, was that he wanted it to be true.

Hinata had lost many of his friends during the killing game, and he cared about each one of them, but he would be lying if he said Komaeda’s death didn’t leave an especially strong impact on him.  Even after it was revealed that Komaeda had orchestrated his own death, Hinata felt a sadness and regret that he didn’t want to name at the time. Nanami paid the ultimate price for Komaeda’s actions when she didn’t get the choice, so it was easy to bury those earlier feelings under anger and frustration.  After everything had settled, and Hinata was reunited with their digital classmate in a moment of great distress, he couldn’t ignore those buried feelings.

Hinata didn’t want Komaeda to be alone.  Luck had constantly torn those who cared about Komaeda away from him, leaving him with no one who loved him.  Komaeda had told Hinata once that he was afraid of dying alone, and though Hinata at the time fell for Komaeda’s lie of “it was something I read in a book!” it wasn’t because Hinata truly believed it, but rather because it was easier to do so.  Komaeda had given him an out in the form of a flimsy lie, and Hinata had taken it.  Of course Komaeda was afraid of dying alone – after spending as much time as he had with Komaeda, it was an obvious conclusion for Hinata to reach.  And yet, Komaeda manufactured a situation where he would not only die alone, but also in such a horrific manner. He chose to die alone, and that was something Hinata could never accept.

So when Komaeda finally raised his arms to return Hinata’s embrace, Hinata felt such a wave of relief and calm that it nearly brought tears to his eyes.  

~

When Komaeda came to, he admonished himself for being so weak, and started brainstorming ways to explain his reaction away.  Telling Hinata he wasn’t having problems with his death, and yet here he was, putting on such an unsightly display. …Actually, what was Hinata doing here in the first place?  Embracing Komaeda, of all people? Maybe it had something to do with why Hinata was shaking, he thought. He might as well venture a guess (and buy himself some more time in the process.)

“Hinata-kun, why are you shaking so much?  Are you getting sick, maybe?” The question was asked in earnest, but Hinata reacted with anger.

“Don’t make light of this!  Do you really think I would be so heartless as to not react?” Hinata was still trembling, but he let his arms fall from Komaeda and balled his hands into fists.  Komaeda felt a flash of disappointment before curiosity returned. Maybe he was thinking of this the wrong way?

“…Are you angry with me, Hinata-kun?”  Komaeda felt a little silly trying to have a conversation while kneeling on the floor, but he wasn’t going to complain.

“Is it really that hard for you to imagine that I was worried about you, Komaeda?  That I feel things other than anger and boredom?” Hinata stood up, and Komaeda quickly followed.  Hinata looked directly into Komaeda’s eyes, but whatever he was searching for, he must not have been able to find.  “…Sorry,” Hinata continued, “this isn’t… I just was scared, all right? Hearing that music, and seeing you like that, I… Actually, it doesn’t matter.”  Komaeda was ready to refute that ‘No, it actually matters a great deal,’ but Hinata still continued.

“Are you ok, Komaeda?  Does that happen often?”  Hinata looked painfully earnest, so Komaeda held back his self-deprecating comments for now.

“Thank you for worrying about me, Hinata-kun, but I’m all right.   That song simply caught me off-guard. Up until today, I had completely forgotten it was part of my plan.  Only somebody totally useless like me would let such an insignificant thing shut them down!” Komaeda hoped Hinata would let his ‘useless’ slide for now.  Hinata sighed and placed his hand on Komaeda’s shoulder.

“It’s ok to not be all right, you know?  I know you don’t think you’re worth it, but we’re all here to support each other.  You went through something terrible. And don’t say it doesn’t count ‘cause you did it to yourself!  You wouldn’t be collapsed in front of a washing machine at 3 AM if you weren’t hurting. Maybe you don’t even realize it, but even if that pain isn’t on the surface, I want to remove it from you.”  Hinata held Komaeda’s robotic hand with both of his own. “I won’t let you get lost in despair again.”

Komaeda was deeply shaken by those words, and even if he wanted so badly to believe them, he just couldn’t bring himself to do so.  He ached to open up, to lay everything out to Hinata that he couldn’t even tell himself, but he knew he wasn’t brave enough to do so.  Instead, he fell back into his failsafe: being contentious.

“Haha…Tell me, Hinata-kun, what makes you think you have the power to do such a thing?  What could a failure of a reserve course guinea pig do to help someone like me?” He was on a dangerous line, he knew - already he had slipped up and admitted that he needed help.  But the faster he hurt Hinata and pushed him far enough away, the better. “I never asked for your pity.”

The words stung both of them, Komaeda realized.  He was so used to pushing away people he cared about, but hurting Hinata felt especially vile.  However, Hinata surprised him by doing the exact opposite of what he’d planned - instead of getting angry and storming off, he agreed.

“I guess I am pretty useless,” Hinata started.  “I’ve always known I was a failure, and you’ve never hidden your contempt for that part of me.  But I won’t let that stop me. Because I know you, and I know you want this,” Hinata laced his fingers with Komaeda’s, “And so do I.  You can’t push me away this time, Komaeda.”

Komaeda’s heart was pounding so loudly that he was afraid the roof would collapse from the sound.  He looked up into Hinata’s eyes and saw all stubborn determination and kindness and hope.  Komaeda’s lips trembled.

How long had he wanted this?  Someone to talk to him, someone to comfort him?  Someone to take his hand and make silly, irresponsible promises?

“…I guess if you’re going to be that stubborn, I won’t be able to stop you,” Komaeda tried saying nonchalantly, but a genuine smile was sneaking its way onto his face.  He still couldn’t bring himself to fully believe it, but looking at Hinata’s expression, he couldn’t not believe it either. Hinata relaxed in understanding of Komaeda’s thinly veiled acceptance.  He squeezed Komaeda’s hand once more before letting it drop. Suddenly, it was like the force that was keeping Hinata steady had vanished and his visage changed to one of pure exhaustion. He swayed towards Komaeda, who held him upright.

“Hey, Hinata-kun?  Have you been sleeping poorly lately, perhaps?”   He paused for a second before deciding to take it a step further.   “I’ve also had problems sleeping recently. Do you want to talk about it?”  Hinata looked like he wanted to object, but realized the hypocrisy of such and decided to answer honestly.

“A little bit.  Nightmares, y’know?  Sometimes I can’t get my brain to shut off,” Hinata admitted. “ A lot of the times I can’t remember if what I see in my dreams is real or not.”  Komaeda had a hunch on what Hinata was referring to, but didn’t interrupt. “…Sometimes, I dream about you.” Komaeda jolted to attention.

“Ah, my features are quite haunting, I suppose-” before Komaeda could spit any more vitriol, Hinata cut him off.

“About your death,” Hinata clarified.  Komaeda’s vision briefly flashed to visions of fire and blood and pain, but a quick squeeze of Hinata’s arm brought him back to reality.  Well, that was surprising. Komeada chalked it up to sleep deprivation that Hinata was admitting this, because the thought that he wanted Komaeda to know how much it affected him was too much to handle.  

“…Do you want to tell me?” Komaeda didn’t know how far he could push his boundaries.

“No- I mean - yes, but… I do want to talk with you eventually, but I’m not sure if I have enough energy for it right now.”  Was his death truly something that haunted Hinata to such a point? Komaeda had no reason to believe he was lying, but still…

“Let’s try getting some sleep, then,” Komaeda suggested instead.  “We can always talk more at a later time!” Komaeda gave Hinata a tired, but bright, smile.  He was elated when Hinata returned one in kind.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Hinata grinned.  Hinata was so bright, like a beacon of hope for Komaeda, but he was still so human and flawed.  He had felt a kinship with Hinata from the very first time they met, but through all the trials and tribulations they went through, Komaeda had found himself drawn to something more than a feeling of similarity.  He listened to Komaeda’s ramblings, and while he didn’t always agree, he always engaged. It felt like someone was finally seeing him, and that prickly kindness Hinata offered was ‘hope’ in his eyes.

Yes, to say Hinata was Komaeda’s hope wasn’t an exaggeration.  Every version of Hinata was dear to him, and the man standing before him despite all odds was the man he grew to love.

~

Hinata was dizzy with exhaustion and giddiness (at being heard, at finally reaching out and being honest with Komaeda, at Komaeda reaching back) that when Komaeda gave a small wave and turned to leave, he called out to him.

“Komaeda!”  Maybe Hinata didn’t want this bubble to pop because he was afraid that, even after tonight, nothing would change, or maybe he could blame sleep deprivation.  But when Komaeda turned around in response and Hinata pulled him into a hug and whispered, “thanks,” Hinata realized there wasn’t a reason - he just wanted to hold Komaeda. Hinata was treated to the sight of a slightly red-faced Komaeda, awkwardly deciding how to react.

“Nnnh…No problem?” Komaeda asked, clearly looking for an explanation from Hinata.  However, when Hinata dropped his arms and walked away, he left Komaeda with nothing but a ‘good night.’  If Hinata’s ears were burning by the time he got back to his cabin, Komaeda didn’t need to know.  

That night, he dreamt of soft touches and interlocking fingers, of white hair and pale eyes.

Hinata wasn’t naive enough to believe that this was the end of nightmares or breakdowns for either of them, but when Komaeda invited him to stargaze and air some more things out before they fell asleep, he had hope that both of them were healing.  Even when Komaeda’s luck inevitably brought a storm that covered the stars and drenched them both to the bone, Hinata had never felt as calm as he did when Komaeda dozed off while leaning his head against his shoulder. He spent a long time listening to the soft sound of Komaeda’s breathing and feeling the slight movements beside him before following Komaeda into sleep.

While it was still true that they couldn’t erase their pasts, they can still move towards a brighter future together.

[anichibicore]

I made a playlist for Luke Fon Fabre!

I got bored! so! playlist for one of my favorite JRPG protags! here it is! I’m making this post bc I wanna share why I put each song and just bc I like rambling about my favorite tales game haha. I’ll leave all that under the cut tho to keep this from being super long on dashes and stuff. Well, away we go!

Track 1: Bored to Death by Blink 182 At the beginning of the game, Luke makes it clear he’s bored of being trapped inside his family’s manor and wants nothing more than to leave. I can’t point to any lyrics in particular for this choice, but I feel it fits his situation nonetheless. Track 2: Disturbia by Rihanna Luke's just killed a person for the first time ever, and he's torn up about it. His mind doesn't want to leave that fact alone. So he beats himself up over it. Once again, I can't really point to any specific lyrics for this choice, and I'm honestly starting to rethink my choices. Track 3: Field of Innocence by Evanescence Akzeriuth is destroyed. Luke feels awful. His innocence is gone, and all that's left is guilt. He just wants to go back to how things used to be. But he can't, and he's devastated. This is one of the lowest points in his life, and he doesn't know what to do. He's lost.

Where has my heart gone? An uneven trade for the real world Oh I, I want to go back to Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

Track 4: Afraid by The Neighbourhood This song is the one that inspired this playlist, partly thanks to this post. Luke’s seeing through Asch’s eyes, he now knows he’s a replica, and he’s scared that the others will want to replace him with Asch. Especially as they make their emotions clear about Luke and his actions. But, Luke doesn’t want to be replaced. He’s hoping to get back the trust he lost. But he doesn’t know how. You're too mean, I don't like you, fuck you anyway You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs It hurts but I won't fight you You suck anyway You make me wanna die, right when I... When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might end up being me Track 5: Ghost Rule by DECO*27 This is kind of a personal choice, and this is also going by Rachie’s English lyrics. I can’t point to any specific moment in Luke’s arc where this goes, but I still felt it fit him. Maybe his feelings about being a replica and feeling like his whole life is a lie. A couple of lyrics could be used to refer to his tendency to hide his feelings. Another line could be used to show his guilt over destroying Akzeriuth. I could pick this one apart for days.

I only know how to lie, I guess I really can’t dodge it this time No law to pardon my crime, no clemency for this evil of mine Things don’t look better today, the mask I wear is crumbling away Lapsing in depravity, I didn’t see what was happening to me Track 6: No One by Aly & AJ Luke’s woken up. He’s starting to think about how he’s been and decides he wants to change. He cuts his hair and promises Tear that he’s changing himself to be a better person. He still feels broken, but he’s working to fix himself. One piece at a time.

I am moving through the crowd Trying to find myself I feel like a guitar that's never played Will someone strum away? And I ask myself Who do I want to be? Do I want to throw away the key And invent a whole new me And I tell myself No one No one Don't want to be no one But me Track 7: Brave by Sara Bareilles Luke meets with Guy. His life long friend tells him that there’s only one Luke in his eyes. I feel like this song’s more Guy to Luke, hoping to motivate him to speak his mind and lift his spirits. He wants Luke to be brave. Innocence, your history of silence Won't do you any good Did you think it would? Let your words be anything but empty Why don't you tell them the truth? Say what you wanna say And let the words fall out Honestly, I wanna see you be brave Track 8: This is Me by Kealla Settle (from The Greatest Showman)

Luke nearly died but he came back, and he feels better than ever. He feels alive. It’s funny how finding out you’re slowly dying makes you appreciate the life you have. Still, Luke feels like he can take on anything. And he’s not going to let any of his emotional baggage slow him down now. When the sharpest words wanna cut me down I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out I am brave, I am bruised I am who I'm meant to be, this is me Look out 'cause here I come And I'm marching on to the beat I drum I'm not scared to be seen I make no apologies, this is me Track 9: Fight Song by Rachel Platten This ties into the previous track a bit, with Luke’s feeling of strength, like he can take on anything. He’s got a lot left in him, and like hell he’ll go down without a fight. This is my fight song Take back my life song Prove I'm alright song My power's turned on Starting right now I'll be strong I'll play my fight song And I don't really care if nobody else believes 'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me Track 10: She’s So Gone by Naomi Scott (from Lemonade Mouth) Luke’s facing Asch in Eldrant for the final time, and he’s going to prove to Asch that he’s a different person now. He’s his own person, and the fact he’s a replica won’t change that. This fight likely means more to Luke than to Asch. Luke’s going to prove Asch is wrong about him. One way or another. Insecure In her skin Like a puppet, a girl on a string Broke away Learned to fly If you want her back gotta let her shine So it looks like the joke's on you 'Cause the girl that you thought you knew She's so gone That's so over now She's so gone You won't find her around You can look but you won't see The girl I used to be 'Cause she's She's so gone Track 11: This Life is Mine by Jeff Williams and Casey Lee Williams (from RWBY) This song could be any point after Van betrays Luke, tells him he was using him, discards him, anything really. Luke looks back on how Van controlled him, had him essentially wrapped around his finger, and swears he’s going to make him pay and put an end to all he’s been planning for all these years.

Amazing how you conquered me Chained me in servility And made me see The world the way you told me to But I was young and didn't have a Way to know the truth Born to live your legacy Existing just to fill your needs A casualty of this so-called "family" That you have turned into a travesty But I don't intend to suffer any longer Here's where your dominion falls apart I'm shattering the mirror That kept me split in pieces That stood between my mind and my heart This is where I'll start I'm not your pet Not another thing you own I was not born guilty of your crimes Your riches and your influence Can't hold me anymore I won't be possessed Burdened by your royal test I will not surrender This life is mine! Track 12: Angel With a Shotgun by The Cab The battle against Van has begun. Luke and Tear work together to take down the man they had been so close to for years, and while each second is painful for them, they know there’s no other choice. Luke will free Lorelei once all is said and done and that will be the end of it. Nothing else matters to him right now. I'm an angel with a shotgun Fighting til' the wars won I don't care if heaven won't take me back 

Track 13: Home by Daughtry Luke’s freed Lorelei, he and Asch have joined with Lorelei, and the world is saved. His friends all miss him, and on his coming of age ceremony, Tear is singing alone in Tataroo Valley. The rest of Luke’s friends join her, and as they mourn their lost friend, a figure appears in the distance. A figure that resembles Luke. He’s come home. I'm going home Back to the place where I belong And where your love has always been enough for me I'm not running from No, I think you got me all wrong I don't regret this life I chose for me But these places and these faces are getting old So I'm going home Well, I'm going home

Track 14: Shape My Heart by Eyeshine

I didn’t add this one until after I made this post (I’m editing this post to include it) but this is another general one and not one i added bc the singer of this band was johnny yong bosch i swear. It’s the party to Luke because he unintentionally helped some of them change the way they view the world, even if it was only a little bit. His presence made things just a little bit better.

You take our pain away

You make our world okay

You shape our hearts so we can feel what love is

You take our hate away

[eiiskonigin]

Where should you be kissed?

palm.

you give and give. you are a gentle heart, broken but still standing... always lending a hand for those who need it, expecting nothing in return. you deserve someone taking your hand and kissing your open palm, the hands which have selflessly helped so many others.

tagged by: stole it off the dash tagging: steal it you cowards

[eiiskonigin]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN.

what’s your phone wallpaper: a live wallpaper of a mushroom riding on the back of a cat through a field of strawberries last song you listened to: Win Win - Set It Off feat. Scene Queen currently reading: restarting After The Fall because I never finished it. last movie: The Turning. It sucked. Watch The Innocents instead. craving: I really want bubblegum ice cream lately. what are you wearing right now: Halloween candy themed pajama pants, a tank top that says "save the bees, hug some trees, clean the seas" and a black cardigan. how tall are you?: 5'0" on a good day. piercings / tattoos ?: double pieced ears, three tattoos: chibi and chu totoro on my back, "all magic comes with a price" on my right wrist, and the bell jar from Beauty and the Beast on my left arm. glasses? contacts?: Glasses, generally. I wear contacts but usually only for events / conventions. last thing you ate?: Chicken alfredo pasta from Domino's. favorite color(s): Some variation of teal / aqua. current obsession: idk man I'm always hyperfixating on RWBY any pets: My chunky cat, Monkey. do you have a crush right now?: On my fiance. Shhh. favorite fictional character: I mean Winter Schnee is my comfort character. last place you traveled: Really travelled? Seattle. Travelled locally, the city an hour north of me.

tagged by: stole it off the dash  tagging: steal it yourself you cowards

[eiiskonigin]

       *        muse  favourites  /  preferences

ANIMAL  :   no real preference, but she likes songbirds and budgies

FLOWER  :  magnolias

SCENT  :   cold air and petrichor

COFFEE  :    black, strong, and hot

TEA  :  not preferred, but if she's going to drink it, then preferably an herbal tea

DRINK  :  coffee or ice water

ALCOHOLIC  BEVERAGE  :   red wine or some mixed drink with champagne

FOOD  :  anything that she isn’t reheating in the middle of the night

DESSERT  :  tiramisu

ARTICLE  OF  CLOTHING  :    white cashmere sweater she often wears when out of uniform

CANDY  :  would prefer dark chocolate

LEFT  OR  RIGHT-HANDED  ?  :  ambidextrous, right dominant

SLOPPY  OR  NEAT  WRITING  ?  :  extremely neat, tight cursive

CLEAN  OR  MESSY  HOME  ?  :  clean, practically untouched

SHOWER  IN  MORNING  OR  NIGHT  ?  :  morning

TASKS  DONE  EARLY  OR  LAST  MINUTE  ?  :  early, although she does tend to take on other people's work when they've left it to the last minute

LOVE  LANGUAGE  ?  :  gift giving and acts of service

BELIEVE  IN  LOVE  AT  FIRST  SIGHT  ?  :  not in the least, not since she had to listen to her father's ‘love at first sight’ story about her mother

tagged by: stole it from the old blog

tagging: steal it and say I tagged you uwu

[eiiskonigin]

WHAT IS IT YOU WANT FROM LOVE? 

a home

picture this: you turn over and realize they’re half-awake too. they pull you back under the blanket they stole during the night and wrap their arms around you. as you drift back to sleep you realize you couldn’t love a person more if you tried. they’re the safe space you go to when you’re anxious, the person where unabashed honesty doesn’t feel terrifying but something you’re grateful for. it took a long time and even though you never thought you’d be able to say this, you finally feel at home. at home in the same way you do when you look at the moon, and it’s all you’ve ever wanted from life.

Tagged by: @dietrauerweide​ Tagging: @storiedhistories, @weissqween, && anyone who wants to steal uwu

[eiiskonigin]

WHICH TYPE OF DRAMATIC BITCH ARE YOU?

What Drama?

Like Clark, you’re just doing your best to get by. Are dramatic things happening to and around you? Absolutely. Do you notice? Hardly ever. That’s ok, sometimes you just gotta focus on your own priorities.

tagged by: @caeloservare thank you darling~ tagging: @storiedhistories && anyone who would like to snag it uwu

[eiiskonigin]

🎶✨ When you get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. Then, send this ask / tag 10 of your favorite followers ✨🎶

Slumber Party - Rain Paris ( and honestly pretty much anything Rain Paris covers... )

A Terrible Ride - Lizard Boy

Living Dead Girl - Rob Zombie

BEDTIME STORIES - MOTHICA

Dawn - CircusP, SOLARIA

tagged by: @caeloservare thank you love !!

tagging: @storiedhistories && anyone who wants to snag it

[eiiskonigin]

WHAT CRYSTAL ARE YOU?

black tourmaline

you have a strength to you that has been hard earned. you don't hesitate to cut out the parts of you you despise, you're unafraid to call out others. your bluntness can off-put people at times, but you're unwilling to compromise your personal code. once your loyalty has been earned it is not easily shaken. you're a protector and you purge away anything you believe could harm you or those you love. when was the last time you relaxed, though? when was the last time you let down your guard? there is just as much strength in vulnerability.

tagged by: stole it from @flightofaqrow uwu

[eiiskonigin]

general tag drop