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#( i get scared being in the sun )
carpsoup · 9 months
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compilation of this guys colours haunting me
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zaynes-left-chesticle · 3 months
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Okay I just read Zayne's "Still in Dark" anecdote, and now I'm crying and also my jaW IS ON THE GROUND, WHAT IN THE FUC-
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enjoy the tags, I just needed to vent....
And I'm scared 🤣
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maudiemoods · 5 months
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How many dreams have you had of moon hunting you down? I've had 3!
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freshwater--mermaid · 4 months
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oh thank god no more roxanne jokes
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starheirxero · 2 months
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i NEED to get weirded about tsams. i need to draw it with more weirdly religious themes. i need to draw it with more grief. i need to draw it with more wires and machinery. i need to incite the feeling of bright angels and the unfathomable divine. i need to incite the feeling of sand between your fingers and a heavy weight in your heart. i need to incite the feeling of fragility and looking at something you're not truly supposed to see. i NEED TO GET WEIRDER ABOUT THIS SHOW!!!!!
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soldier-poet-king · 6 months
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If no one's got me at least I know getting more tattoos that everyone around me hates has got me
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papakhan · 9 months
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I love playing with characters who have unshakeable resolve and endless confidence like Papa and jessup and Sun but i myself have awful confidence so it's something
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asteralien · 20 days
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look it took me a while to come round to astarion but there is something about the scene where he's just standing in the sun that kind of got me after i've spent the entirety of this spring, rain or shine, staring and reveling in the trees and the plants around me, like i haven't seen the color green in years because in a lot of ways i haven't, i had gone blind to my favorite color because it Didn't Matter, i hadn't realized how deep depression had been holding me under for years until march when the woods i've lived in since i was 8 have suddenly become brand new to me. and it's not like i'm dancing around joyously or anything, it's not made me some kind of positive upbeat optimism fairy, it's made me angry if i think about it too long, so i've just been trying not to think about it and just be, not try to be happy or optimistic or hopeful but just appreciative. and. idk. i think i kind of Get It. he's never going to be my very favorite but man. i would like to stand in the sun with him sometimes
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chryzure · 1 month
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blah blah blah, chrysi bringing jacks back wrong and all that. what about jacks bringing chrysi back wrong?
#memorie.txt#s.chrysijacks#it has to be jacks though because azure would never bring chrysi back wrong. she’d be perfectly chrysi if azure brought her back#working out an au where chrysi and castor both died in the car crash in the modern au#jacks found their wreck and called honora because he knew she could bring them back#honora only wanted to bring her son back and brought him back to life as a vampire#but chrysi—on account of accidentally fatemarrying jacks when they were 14–has that link w jacks#and jacks wished her back to life so hard that the link + the small amount of necromancy magic chrysi gave him via marriage#brought her back to life#and honora is pissed the fuck off because chrysi can go out in the sun and age and live relatively normally after being brought back#but her son can’t.#well ehh i’m getting a little loose w this au because of a later scene i want#so castor can AGE-ish up until he’s ~25 because that’s when his body can’t force itself to look older (that would require cells dying—#—and the vampirism is keeping them in relatively good health)#anyway i haven’t figured out HOW but i think honora scared jacks away from visiting chrysi in the hospital#and that’s why they friend broke up (and real broke up except for their immortal marriage they don’t know abt)#then years down the line chrysi ‘dates’ castor for 2-ish months (and hates every second of it) and when jacks finds out he FLIPS#nodding to myself. this makes sense. i jst woke up from a fever nap
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graveyardmouth · 2 months
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its that time of the night
#and the year.#really makes me feel like summer especially middle school and before#completely isolated from all my friends panic attacks every time the sun went down hiding from my mom trying to block out screaming as#best i could staying up til dawn drinking dr pepper stealing my moms books listening to my dads cds stealing chocolate chips and eventually#wine from the kitchen puking in the bathroom reading the perks of being a wallflower goinf out for bike rides in the early morning walking#to the library and collapsing on the way home cause i hadnt eaten in 2 days walking past the church holding a knife in one hand#biking because i just knew there was somebody waiting to kill me dying my hair three times begging for escape from the monotony making#friends on twitter and discord in bad places getting attention from strangers for my relationship with a razor blade staying up all night#for the quiet because i needed to be alone because i couldnt sleep to feel something besides numbness getting yelled at for keeping my room#messy and crying thinking about people knowing i was eating finding a book that made me happy and knowing that once i finished it id#return to awful numbing boredom nothing could fix god ive typed a lot#sorry im feeling nostalgic about feeling bad and summer has always been one of many low points in the year for me#anyways ✌️#dw about me im actually in a really good place mentally rn i just. am worried for how long itll last#and quite scared about getting taken off my antidepressants tbh#bug shut up#delete later#Youtube
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ria-starstruck · 1 year
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i am once again drawing my ocs interacting with hollow knight characters
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bonding over a fear of darkness and hunger
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lavenoon · 11 months
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So! I’m curious! Would there be much difference between the events of Sunset and Nacreous Cloud in the canon version and Reverse AU? I imagine Dawn would still be sent alone maybe, because it seemed like a very fast mission until things went south, but Robin would still be at work so I wonder how that would go, also considering that Dawn has seen Robin get stabbed, so this would mean now Robin also sees their rival being injured with the ray torn off and all!
Ahh, now that's interesting! Because the point of Sunset and Nacreous Cloud wasn't just to break the news to the agency (perhaps it's time to start calling them EVOC on here, too - otherwise it's "the agency" vs Abra Fez, that's gonna get confusing soon) and also kick off the Glamrock Arc. Those are definitely important effects of those chapters!
But a big part of the motivation was to have the two who only knew each other as neighbors see each other in action. Dawn got caught, yes, but he also got himself out, only to run into the one man backup that was Robin. They see each other, for the first time in a decidedly not neighborly context, and still all they feel is the relief that the other is (relatively) okay.
(discussions of and just plain injuries to animatronics, you know the drill)
So we'll go two routes - if Dawn is indeed still the one being sent out and getting caught, then perhaps he and Robin had lunch plans together for which he wanted to be back. So Robin waits, and waits, and waits for his knock, except it never comes. They skip lunch as a result, too keyed up to eat alone and also not inclined to give up on Dawn showing up - except then afternoon slowly turns into evening and he's still not back, and they know something is off.
This Robin however is also much more used to lying. They're the undercover agent, they lie for a job - so when River finds them in Dusk and Dawn's office they might just talk their way out of a reveal. They had plans with their partner, and he's not there, so something is wrong and they plan to fix it.
Maybe River still pushes for a reveal, goading Robin until they admit to it, but Robin will be more steadfast because they're much more used to social interaction and staying calm in conversations that don't bode well for them.
The surprise then would be to see Robin going back to their stealthier roots only to be surprised by evidence of their partner being hurt. They got stabbed to prevent that. And this time they have their weapon already at the ready and do not hesitate to fight their way through to him.
Mostly, Dawn would feel guilty for making them come get him - he also very vividly remembers what happened last time they protected him, and is very concerned about any potential repeats. So his relief will be tinged with fear still until he makes sure none of the blood on Robin is theirs, and Robin might just end up a tad annoyed because hey, they're saving him so if he could please stop fretting -
But, yeah, honestly? I don't see this happening in Reverse AU. Because it's missing that core aspect of seeing their neighbor be ruthless and still caring, in both directions.
So getting their hands on the info they want remains easier at night, and it's Moon who promises to be back for breakfast as he hands over a little tupperware from Sun with dinner for them. It's perhaps a bit startling to hear their somewhat shy neighbor just casually talk about breaking into a place with (even at relatively low) high security, but they've done enough of that themself to somewhat brush it off.
They wake up a little early, but their breakfast buddy never shows up. They manage a cereal bar, and then rush into work, too frazzled and too early for River to not be suspicious, and whoop, there Robin goes.
It's been a while since they went into a mission already expecting trouble, but that doesn't mean they aren't prepared. They're the one chasing runners, they're the one still squeezing in parkour whenever they can, on and off the clock, and they're the one thinking they just got to know both Sun and Moon so much more, so much closer, and they're not giving that up now.
Dusk knows his neighbor is a good agent, too - Sun's recounts leave absolutely no doubt about that. But he's an agent too, and as we've established in that other ask, Dusk is the one with the potential to be the most dangerous out of the three.
Perhaps that's why he doesn't just lose a sunray - not that any are out to be ripped off, anyway. But remember that Reverse AU skips First Aid and the explosion in there to, because they weren't idiots and told Y/N right away?
Would be a shame if Dusk gets blown up before he ends up trapped (:
Sure, wrangling him into a position that keeps his one remaining arm restrained is a bit more difficult, but with the cracked lens of his optic it's at least rather easy to pretend he's in rest mode with a dead battery.
Really, no one looks at the one armed and broken animatronic expecting a threat - so they leave him be, until it's time to get him out.
One arm is enough to make sure that doesn't happen though. Dusk is still lethal, and has access to one of his tasers (well, five), and he still has (half of his) thermal vision that he makes generous use of as he sneaks around finding his way towards backup.
And then it's Robin. Not in the outfit that Dawn usually sees them in, but a muted, sporty look, if not for the tears and blood.
Robin, at this point, has already been presented with Dusk's detached arm - they don't carry it, because let's face it, it would simply get in the way without a convenient way to carry it - but they know Moon is hurt and even knowing he can handle himself, it's a lot to go from "haha yeah that's my cute funky neighbor" to "someone just threw his arm in front of me and I don't know where the rest of him is"
They watch him rise from his half crouch, watch the electricity drain from his fingers as his eyes bleed back from red to blue (because he has to see, as much as he can, not just their heat signature), and then they're already sobbing and coming his way.
Bit more awkward to hug while still used to having one more arm to do it with, but Dusk does his best to make up for the missing one as he meets them in the middle and just holds onto them, too. They didn't even hesitate, didn't flinch back at him being so different from what they're used to, and they're currently crying in his arm because they found him.
Sun reminds him that Robin has seen him use the taser generously before, and they've established that Robin isn't scared of him anymore (This would place this version of events past Sonne(t)), so really, he shouldn't have been so worried about what they might think - and also perhaps reign in those heart eyes, because he's getting a bit obvious about things.
Ground support communications still interrupt the moment, and the heart eyes get worse when Robin continues taking the lead. It's approaching noon, perhaps, or at least late morning, and everything is very strange because Dusk does not like being out this time of day and he dreads having to do the mission report Robin already warned him River expects, and things get a little more chaotic. (Nearly wrote chaotik again, good going)
Because Robin tries to take the lead in the conversation, but doesn't quite manage to convince River that all of them together knowing each other's identities is less of a risk than it's a benefit, and Sun decides to intervene. It distracts Dusk for a hot second, but Sun is pushy - he's the social one, he knows what to say, and they can use this as a demonstration.
Robin doesn't even flinch when suddenly Dusk turns to Dawn, and is even less surprised than River who knows about the change but has never witnessed it herself (probably, but tbh I'm keeping my options open).
Dawn also very much enjoys that he receives a squeeze to his hand when he starts arguing, and River just ends up very tired when she agrees to give them their chance. She's dealt with these three enough for one day.
They go home, and while Sun wants to be reassuring and push Y/N into getting that breakfast they pretty much skipped as well as the definitely skipped lunch, they just aren't having it. It ends up being even more reassurance for Sun, because Y/N is outright furious - but only out of concern. They're coming down from the adrenaline rush, all the fear and anxiety, and that urgency to get their partner(s) back safe.
They berate him, yes, for getting hurt, trying to make him promise to not let it happen again, and the entire time they refuse to let go of him even for a second.
Sun does not promise. He says they know the risk comes with the job - he's not eager to let it happen again, but could they ever promise not getting stabbed again?
Y/N can't, for the same reasons.
Fortunately for them, they now get the opportunity to look out for each other, all of them, and they decide to make full use of that <3
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mezimraky · 3 months
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i never got the perceived rudeness of emailing or texting someone at odd hours of the night or the morning, because i consider emails and texts just something i am writing down and leaving for others to read at their own convenience. but my prof just wrote me this long email of. feedback for the essay i will be having a state exam over next friday and ngl the panic was instant
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azureasterart · 4 months
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btw i have d8 w de@ th brainrot real bad RN so I've just been drawing gwimmy instead of glamoo. I will draw glamoo I swear they are my babeis and I am getting to a point where I can think of glamoo again man they're so. They're so sweet,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, cries
#asterambling#Ok I will ramble about them now because I am thimkinh about themnow#Gladmo are like besties for for a few years and then glagion gets a crush on mooga and for half of the year he's just like ohh fucking shit#glaidon is just falling in love and thinks he has a one sided crush on moon (she would not date someone like him) but actually she#moonie had a crush on him first LOL#Moonie thinks he is the sweetest person in the history of ever (next to Hau and Lillie)#(Sun not included Sun is not sweet he Is a little creature from the hells (affectionate he's just a little kitty))#GLhADION does not consider himself very friendable much less boyfriendable. He would give himself a -200/10 and moon would give him a 12/10#Bonus points for stupid hair (it's cute. Endearing) and being silly.#(he watched too much anime and now he keeps doing strange things with his limbs)#(that's called posing aster)#Anyway glagmoog stare at each other thinking “you are literally the sweetest strongest bravest stupidest person alive I love you”#All the time#And they are SO stupid btw one of them is going to die they are always like hmmm it's ok if I die as long as your ok and they're like#NO you stupid bitch don't do any of that !#Mutual wanting to die for each other and thinking the other is stupid for thinking like that#They both feel obligated to protect people which is why they're both doing the ultra beast missions together in my hc (Hau included#They are both scared of not being strong enough to protect their loved ones#Moon will overwork herself to de@th to become stronger and Gladion will get so angry and upset with himself for being weak#He's no good. He's no good at all!#Moon feels she will never be strong enough but Gladion feels he will never be good enough in general#Moon will be like. I love taking pictures of cute/pretty/beautiful things and then immediately take a picture of him#And he will be like. Ok but this is the same person who thinks a damn muk is cute#Moon will be like oh your so kind and sweet and caring and loving while he is giving silvally affection#And he'll be like. Yeah ok sure I'm just such a great guy (sarcastic)#He calls silvally Silvuddy (Japanese name)/his buddy in private and will die 4 his pokémon he gives them treats and hugs them and talks#2 them#And he loves his sister#he always thinks about how he should've taken Lillie with him when he ran he should have taken her with him he should've known Lusamine#would get worse he should've taken the other type nulls with him --|there was more but it got cut off.|
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floral-hex · 11 months
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Can’t tell if I’m so anxious because of drug withdrawal or it’s just because I have a bad brain 😓
#I took buspar for about 4 nights then had to stop because it put me on edge#first night without it and I’m hit with the same feelings again#just sad and hopeless and my nerves feel sick#I had thought there wasn’t supposed to be any real withdrawal from that stuff#so maybe this is just me being sad#quick rant: I feel so hopless and alone and scared#it’s 4:30am and I know there’s nothing I can do right now about it so I should just chill out#brains suck#just go to sleep!#I have my first therapy session tomorrow/today so we’ll see#and I’m realizing now I really need to bite the bullet and apply to some jobs#any jobs. even if I’m afraid my hearing will go out and I’ll fuck up working#I NEED to get out of this house more. I NEED money. I NEED some hope for a future.#I want moneyyyy so I can go out to eat and take my brothers to the movies and help my mother with bills#I can’t just stay awake all night suffering. I need to be productive.#ian I swear you will feel so much better with a purpose#even if that purpose is just to work a register for a few hours a day#it’ll be okay#we can do this. we’ll talk to the therapist tomorrow. we’ll call our doc and bitch about our meds. we’ll apply for jobs#we’ll shower and eat and go out in the sun and it’ll be okay#baby steps baby#get a job. get money. buy a burger. find someone to kiss once or twice.#I can do this#I feel everything falling apart and fading away and I have to fight that#I’m fighting it now just verbalizing this and it’s helping#it’ll be okay ian!#life can still be beautiful!#you’re afraid of losing everything well then fucking grab it hold it do what you can#I’m so fucking scared but I have to try#text
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boomerang109 · 6 months
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what if capitalism is making the one job i thought was possible for me feel unattainable not because i haven’t literally been doing it since age 13 but because it’s not well paid enough so until you get into a higher position you have to work multiple jobs and i knew that i always knew that but. fuck. why is adulting going to be so exhausting. what if this really is the best time of my life? being a depressed college student? what if it’s downhill from here?
#I love my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#i HATE my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#like bestie I was just watching critical role why did I pause it to write this down#anyway in other news I have a ten hour tech day and I’m ✨scared✨#technically it’s nine and a half though because they moved the call by a whole half hour#and honestly I’m going to get breakfast for meal swipes so I might end up being late cause breakfast doesn’t open until 10#but like fuck if I’m gonna try to make food here#I want to pack my bag tonight but also I just laid down after doing dishes and I’m exhausted#I’ve had such a long day too I had two normal classes (one of which I basically led the class. I interviewed two professionals in front of#the whole class. FUCK I probably need to send them a thank you email. that’s gonna be a tmrw issue or I might draft hifh but like not sendin#but anyway after that I had one hour for lunch and then three hour lab which was fun!! because we went ride pooling but like we walked a#shit ton and in the sun#oh and my roommates must’ve forgotten I come with today cause they left me behind (which is totally fine cause I didn’t get up but it did#mean I had to catch the on campus transport and that takes forever and so I was late to meet my friend for breakfast and dining hall was#closed so I had to get food elsewhere which literally cost the same as the dining hall in the morning which is dumb but it took waaay longer#anyway hifh boom takes tumblr diary entries too seriously idk why I channeled my whole life into this post lmao#i think it’s cause I’m self-isolating HARD (despite being fairly social at the moment? it’s a surprisingly cool balancing act im pulling off#quite well as a busy bee) so I felt the need to pretend to have human connection without actually breaking my self-imposed isolation lmao#boom blogs high
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