#( joel is literally so tall and SO BROAD )

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍

body piercer!joel miller x f!reader

genre: explicit smut, minors dni, modern au, no outbreak au

word count: 4.7k

summary: you finally go and get your nipples pierced.

warnings: reader has tattoos & has flat/small nipples which is the only physical description in this fic, nipple play, oral (female receiving), dirty talk, praise kink, joel miller with a tongue piercing, lots of teasing, sexual tension, tattoo kink??? joel is really into them

a/n: this fic literally wouldn't exist if not for @swiftispunk's fic flesh and metal after reading it and screaming about it (and also reading articles about it) this fic was born, enjoy xx

special thanks to @johnwatsn for the beta! 💞

It’s late. The faint buzz of the neon sign is loud in your ears, taunting, mocking you for just staring inside instead of going in. Your face is illuminated with a red hue, the words BODY PIERCING burning into your irises. And despite the tacky neon sign, the inside looks quite clean. You would know, you’ve been stalking their Instagram page for a while now. 

There’s no one inside and you’re contemplating whether or not you should just get on with it. The idea of getting your nipples pierced had been a vague thought until recently. You desperately needed a change, you wanted something new and exciting. You wanted to feel sexy again. Your ex had certainly done a decent amount of damage to your self-esteem and that, plus your already low view of yourself, did not help your brain to see the good of you. 

So many things could go wrong, you’ve read multiple articles about it. Your body might reject the piercing, it might leave a scar, irritate it. . . 

G Suddenly, a brisk burst of frigid air gently caresses your cheeks, causing you to instinctively step back. Your gaze swiftly shifts from the interior of the shop to the door, where you notice that someone has just opened it, allowing the chilly air from the air conditioning inside to spill out.

Joel Miller, the shop's number one body piercer. Your cheeks burn, your pulse quickens, the sound of it flooding your ears. He’s tall and broad, his brown eyes staring at you with utter amusement. As you continue to just blatantly stare at him, he cocks his head to the side with a crooked smile. 

“I’m closin’ in half an hour, sweetheart. If you’re thinkin’ of comin’ in, I’d do it now.” 

“O–Oh,” you swallow thickly. “I can come back tomorrow if you’re closing up, sorry to bother you.” 

He raises an eyebrow, his smile falling, “Well, I didn’t quite say that, now, did I?” Come on in, darlin’. Tell me what you need.” 

Tell him what you need—your heart beats in your throat, the lazy drawl of his words going directly between your legs. You mentally curse at yourself. How touch-starved are you? He’s just being polite. You’re the customer, it would’ve been weird if he just shooed you away. 

Joel takes a step to the side, silently granting permission for you to enter. You stroll past him, making your way inside without uttering a word. The air conditioning is a blessing on your sweat-soaked skin. Even though you don’t have to, you briefly look at your surroundings. Just like your research had entailed, the shop was squeaky clean. 

“So,” Joel clears his throat. “What can I do you for, sweetheart?” 

Some part of you wishes that he could just understand without you having to form the words. You lick the back of your teeth, suddenly it’s very hard to breathe. 

“I. . . wanted to get my nipples pierced—if that’s okay?” 

“Of course, it is,” he smiles, much softer compared to his crooked smirk from before. “I’m Joel by the way,” he extends his hand and you take it with a sigh of relief, you feel much lighter now— 

“I know.” 

Your eyes go wide, both your hands stopping mid-shake. Joel’s amused glance is back again, his smile stretching into a grin, “You know?” 

“I mean—well, I did research before I came here,” you answer quickly, aggressively almost, and release his hand. His grin only wides, a puff of air escaping his nostrils. “So that’s how I know your name.” 

“Aren’t you the cautious one,” he turns on his heel and points towards the back. “If you’re set on what you want we can just head inside, I can explain the rest there.” 

“Sure.” 

Just as you both take a step you remember what you initially wanted to ask before going through with it and stop. Joel senses your lack of movement, turning around, you notice the furrow between his brow. “I actually wanted to ask something before we went on with it.” 

“I’m all ears.” 

Oh god, this is embarrassing, “So. . . my nipples are. . .flat—or is it more proper to call it small? I don’t know. Would that be an issue?” 

The glimmer in his eyes returns full force, his expression of worry melting away, “I’ve never met a nipple I couldn’t pierce,” he teases. “So no need to worry that pretty head of yours.” 

“Do you sweet talk with all your clients?” you ask, your lips twitching into a smile. You don’t know what it is, but you feel comfortable with him. Maybe it’s because you’ve been stalking his shop for so long. Either way, it’s a nice feeling. 

“Only with the ones that know my name before I meet them.” His eyes gradually move up and down your body, eating you up. His tongue darts out and swipes over his bottom lip. You notice the faint shimmer that belongs to a silver tongue piercing. “And the ones that’ve been starin’ into my shop for least an hour.” 

Joel takes a step closer and you feel your breath dissipating from your lungs. Dark, charcoal eyes sweep across your face. Your heartbeat is like a fearful hummingbird, hitting the bone cage in rapid succession. You swallow. By some miracle, you hold his gaze. 

“You ready to go, little rabbit?” 

All the tension drains from your bones and you burst out laughing, “Rabbit?” you giggle, your amusement only growing when you see his wide smile. “What the hell?” 

“There’s that pretty smile,” he hums, pulling back. Joel stuffs his hands into his pockets. “Now that you’re relaxed we can get to business. We can stop whenever, so don’t feel pressured when you’re in the chair. You can just leave.” 

You nod along as you follow him inside. You’re relieved when you see that it’s a spacious room with bright lighting that doesn’t irritate your eyes. 

“First things first, let's pick out the piercing.” Joel walks towards one of the small glass cases and pulls out one of the drawers. Your excitement builds as he presents them to you. “Any ticklin’ your fancy?” 

The light above gleams against the glass, there are so many and for a split second, you want them all. You never thought you would be labeling piercings as pretty. Looking them over, you decide you definitely want barbells instead of hoops. Now the question is which barbell one do you want? 

“So many,” you mutter, eyes scanning over them again and again. You see one that says ‘cum here’ on each heart-shaped barbell. There’s a couple of them that say different things; kiss here, bite me, lick me— a shudder rolls down your spine. Your mind instantly fills with indecent thoughts, most of them staring at the man still patiently holding the glass case. You bite the inside of your cheek. 

You bet he has the most skillful tongue—

“Oh, that one!” you exclaim suddenly, pointing at one in the shape of a heart. It’s decorated in shimmering rhinestones, the metal gold. When he inserts it, the heart would be framing your nipple. “It’s so cute.” 

“You like shiny things, huh?” he smiles. “You gotta good eye, it’ll look good on you.” 

Your breath catches in your throat, “Thanks.” 

“Now lay on the bed, darlin’.” 

It takes you a second to realize he’s talking about the piercing bed. You’re about to lay on it before he stops you with a raised hand. “Take off your top.” 

“Most guys buy me dinner first.” 

“Har har very funny,” he rolls his eyes but he’s smiling, which in return makes you lightheaded. The expression is like a drug and you want to see more of it. More and more and more. “Besides, if you have a flat nipple I’m gonna need to stimulate it.” 

“Excuse me?” 

Joel is unaware of your blundering, he arranges the fresh, disposable drape and sterile forceps, placing it on the small portable workstation, “If you’re uncomfortable with that I can use the suction device too,” he answers nonchalantly. You watch breathlessly as he pulls on his black rubber gloves and finally turns to you. He raises an eyebrow. “Why’s your top still on?” 

“I—I just wasn’t aware nipple play was involved.” 

“You do realize where you’re gettin’ pierced right?” his lips twitch up. “You’re not drunk, are you sweetheart?” 

“Very funny,” you answer, mimicking his tone from before. “But anyway, okay, I guess I’m just a bit nervous.” 

“Understandable,” you point towards the endless draws. “Want me to get the suction device?” 

“God, no,” you let out a low chuckle. “Your fingers are just fine.” 

“Never had any complaints before.” 

Your stomach jumps, arousal caressing your skin similar to a summer breeze. The darkness in his eyes is back, his gaze intense and nerve-wracking. 

“Will it hurt?” you mumble. 

“I ain’t gonna lie so yeah, it will.” 

“How much?” 

“Depends, really.” 

Your shoulders drop. 

“Mine didn’t hurt that bad, to be honest, but my pain tolerance is quite high,” he mutters to himself rather than to you. He follows up with another sentence, probably something to soothe your worry but your brain is locked on to something very specific he just said. 

“You have nipple piercings?” you ask incredulously. “Really?” 

“I do, though it was more of a bet kind of situation. My brother loooves causing me trouble,” he sighs and crosses his arms over the expanse of his chest. “But joke’s on him because I liked how they looked so I kept them.” 

“Can. . . Can I see?” 

“You gonna be a good girl and keep still when I pierce you?” Joel teases. You nod furiously, lips pressed tightly together. “A’right then.” He curls his fingers into the hem of his shirt and lifts it. Your eyes are glued to his chest—his entire torso. You see the way a soft trail of draw hair starts from his bellybutton and disappears under his jeans, you see the soft swell of his stomach, the muscle—your eyes move up, you finally see his nipples, pierced, just like he said, with silver barbells. You lean closer, your ass at the very edge of the piercing bed. 

Joel suddenly drops his shirt, hiding away, he shrugs, “Nothin’ fancy, but still, I like’em,” saying that, he takes a seat on his chair and sways a bit thanks to the wheels underneath.

“Do—” you lick the back of your teeth. “Do they make it more sensitive?” 

His smirk makes your heart skip a beat, “Wouldn’t you like to know,” he points to your shirt. “Now off.” 

Without a word, you peel off your shirt and unhook your bra. Joel’s eyes widen momentarily, his breath hitching at the sight of your bare torso. You’re confused for a moment. Surely, in his line of work, he’s seen many tits before— 

Then you realize he’s staring at your tattoos. 

You don’t have many, though you guess compared to others you do have many. Joel’s gaze lingers on your chest piece, two hands reaching towards each other with the sun and moon in between, decorating the dip between your breasts without going too deep. The blood rush of your body fills your ears, and your lips part with a gasp, his eyes instantly snap to your lips. You see the way his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows. 

“Didn’t know you were tattooed, darlin’.” 

“You like tattoos?” you ask, your voice hoarse and barely there. “I have more on my back.” 

You swear his pupils dilate, “I’d love to see them after. If you’ll let me.” 

“Sure,” you answer with a weak smile. “I don’t see a reason not to.” 

He wheels closer, eyes dropping to your breasts. You look away. Your cheeks feel unreasonably warm despite the air conditioning running. Goosebumps blossom over every patch of skin. His mouth is too close, the warmth of his breath fans your chest, a pleasant tingle echoing over your breasts. 

You’ve always felt a bit awkward about your nipples. They always seemed silly compared to your breast size, especially when you started seeing other nipples. 

“I’m gonna touch you now,” he says softly, dragging you away from your thoughts. “I’m gonna massage it a bit to work it out, a’right?” 

You nod and hold your breath simultaneously. He does your right nipple first. Just like he said, he massages the flesh closest to your nipple, easing it out. It feels good, undeniably so. The pads of his fingers work delicately. Deep down you wish he didn’t have to wear the gloves. Your body aches for his heat, his bare touch on your naked skin. Joel pinches a bit hard and you flinch, he mumbles an apology. You don’t have it in you to tell him that it didn’t actually hurt, rather, it felt good. 

Soft whimpers threaten to escape your lips so you bite into the bottom one, hard. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to regulate your breathing with deep inhales. His thumb swipes over your, now hard, nipple. “There we go,” he says. 

You don’t open your eyes. Pain blossoms from the flesh of your lips, you feel them starting to swell. 

“Hey,” Joel’s hand cups the side of your face, then you feel his thumb easing out your lips from between your teeth. “You’re gonna hurt yourself like that. Are you okay?” 

How are you supposed to tell him that you’re just turned on? That this has been the most action you’ve had in months? 

“I’m okay,” you answer. His brows furrow in disbelief and you can’t really blame him. You let out a long sigh. “I’m fine, I promise. I just got a little worked up.” 

“Worked up?” His smile is back and in response, you want to bury your head in the sand. “What d’you mean?” 

His hand slides to your waist, squeezing it gently. You stick your bottom lip out. “You know what I mean.” 

“Hmmm, maybe,” his voice drips with cruel teasing, his thumb begins to draw lazy circles around your skin. You think he’s going to say something else but his gaze once again drops to your chest. “Looks like it disappeared, gonna need to work it out again.” 

You expect his fingers—maybe for him to pinch a bit harder this time. 

What you don’t expect, however, is his burning mouth on your cold skin. 

“Oh, fuck—” you gasp, your body instinctively arching towards him. He groans as a response, taking more of you into his mouth. His tongue flicks your peaked nipple. You feel his teeth nipping the tender flesh and you gasp once more, a sharp moan rattling in your throat. 

His eyes look up at you, momentarily he parts away, his lips are swollen, spit glistening at his lips, “This okay?” 

“Yes.” 

And he continues to devour you. 

Your fingers bite into the leather bed, he laps at the pebbled flesh, purposefully rubs the tongue piercing into it. The sudden hardness of metal makes you jump and then melt into it, he repeats the movement of his tongue again and again, swirling it until your thighs start to shake. His hands briefly move to your tattoo, thick fingers dancing along the ink. 

“So sensitive,” he murmurs, directing his attention to your other nipple. He flicks at it first then closes his lips around it. Your underwear is sticky with slick, your legs in constant motion to relieve some of the tension from your throbbing clit. He cups your mound, presses his fingers into your clothed slit. “Be patient, I’m gettin’ there.” He sucks on your nipple and teases the other with his fingers, pinching and pulling them. 

“Won’t be able to do this when we pierce them,” he growls, teeth sinking into your nipple, he flicks his tongue over it. “And you better not let anyone else touch’em too.” 

Your head falls back with a groan. He flicks his tongue again when you grind into his palm, the friction not enough to quench your need for him. You grip his shoulder, urging him to move back. He does. You immediately feel guilty at the worry crossing his eyes. 

You grip his shirt, slightly sliding it up his stomach, “Can I see how sensitive you are?” 

A brush of color spreads from his neck to his cheeks. You smile. Red looks good on him. 

He stands up, the chair wheeling away. Joel is quick to discard his shirt and you’re glad that the piercing bed makes it so that you’re in perfect tasting range. You spread your legs wider as he comes closer, taking his place between them. His skin touches your own, his warmth overwhelming yet welcomed. 

You kiss his neck first. Then his collar bone, you suck on his skin, teasing the sensitive flesh with your teeth. He shudders. Slowly you make your way down, your thumbs push at the pierced nipples and he moans behind gritted teeth. Smiling sweetly at him, you swirl your tongue around one, playing with the other. Your tongue moves over the bead of the piercing, you tilt it which in return twists the nipple. Another tremble overwhelms him, his body curling around you even further. The outline of his cock is prominent through his jeans, his body impulsively grinding against your stomach. You moan at the hardness, and he moans at the pressure. 

“Fuck, that’s nice,” he rasps, hips jerking. “But let’s take care of you now, I bet your panties are soaked, darlin’.” 

Fuck, it is. 

Joel drags his lips down your cheek, he kisses your neck slowly, the metal on his tongue forcing a shudder up your spine and making you curious about how it’ll feel on your cunt. 

“Want to eat you out from behind, sweetheart, wanna see those tattoos.” 

His hands are a constant on your skin as you hop off the bed and bend over, he helps you with your jeans, reaching around and unbuttoning it for you. The fabric suddenly feels too tight on your skin and you need to get rid of it—now. 

The harsh fabric pools at your ankles and you kick them away. His fingers play with the elastic of your underwear, pulling and twisting. The heft of him rubs between the crease, thick cock straining against his zipper. You expect him to take off his jeans too. Your piercer is full of surprises, though, and instead of doing the predictable thing, he continues to roll his hips whilst tracing the pads of his fingers over tattoos. 

“Fuck, they’re beautiful, sweetheart,” he mumbles. His touch is ticklish, yet arousing at the same time. More slick gathers at the fabric. You’re desperate for his touch. By the movement of his fingers you guess which of them he’s stroking. First, it’s the fox that stretches over your spine, beams of sun framing its face. Then it’s the smoke-like lines that are closer to your shoulder and the other one near your hip. Joel can’t seem to get enough of it. His palms are flat against inky skin, trying to feel the thought of you while you got them. 

You gasp at the touch of soft lips and soft tongue. He licks a slow line up your spine, tracing over the fox and sunlight. By pure instinct you bend over further, your breasts completely pressed against the leather. You’ve never been more glad to have tattoos in your goddamn life—he’s worshipping them, the figures that adorn your skin. 

His velvet tongue is replaced by sharp teeth, your back arches, ass pressing further into his clothed cock. Joel trembles and follows your eager movements with another tender bite. 

“I love them,” he mouths over the inky smoke near your shoulder. “I love feeling you, touching you. I could just do this for hours. You feel amazin’ against my skin, my sweet little rabbit.” 

This time you don’t laugh at the absurd nickname. His name drips from your damp lips like honey, sweet to say and sticking to your tongue. 

His hand dips between your legs and his mouth moves down to your ass, he kisses the plump flesh as two fingers stroke you from over the fabric of your underwear. His groan reverberates on your skin, teeth skimming the flesh, “Fuck, you actually are soaked,” Joel hums and slips them under, gathering you around his fingers. “All this for me?” 

“Yes,” you gasp, raising your hips. “P-Please—”

Joel shushes you, “I know, sweetheart, I know,” he gets down to his knees and as he does, a small grunt leaves his lips. 

“Are you okay?” you ask. 

“Just fine,” he kisses your pussy and you’re instantly melting towards his mouth, a groan ripping from your throat. “A sacrifice I’m willin’ to make.” 

Joel doesn’t give you the chance to reply or offer to change positions, he slides your panties to the side, licking into you hungrily. You shudder and your upper body jolts, forming the perfect arch. He presses deeper. Licking and teasing your clit with the tip. He cups both sides of your ass and gives them a gentle smack. Your eyes roll at the mild pain, your slick coating his lips, tongue, and chin. The rough hairs of his beard chafe your skin, only adding to the pleasure. 

“Taste so good, beautiful,” Smack. “Gonna fuckin’ ruin you, make you come until there’s a goddamn puddle on the floor.” 

“Oh god—” you choke on air, a moan locking in your throat the same time you’re trying to gasp for air. His words and the swirl of his tongue are downright sinful. He flattens his tongue and parts your folds with the soft muscle, teasing your entrance. 

Joel pulls you back against him, his lips teaching your clit, your jaw drops, a jolt of pleasure rushing through you and tightening your nipples. It’s filthy, that’s all you can think. If someone walked through those doors right this instant, they would see his face between your cheeks, drinking from you like a man dying of thirst. 

Your head drops, mouth flooding with saliva, you roll your hips; begging, asking for more. He gives it to you. Two thick fingers slide into you with ease, his mouth leaving wet open-mouthed kisses on your ass. 

“Gonna come for me?” he asks, voice full of gravel. “Come on, give it to me, let me see how your pussy throbs, sweetheart.” 

He curls his fingers and you imagine him smirking as he breaks you apart. You cry out his name, your entire body shuddering as if lightning struck it, “That’s it, that’s it, that’s it. . .” He continues to thrust his fingers in and out, you feel yourself dripping, imagine yourself making a puddle just like he asked for. “Give it to me, honey. You’re fuckin’ beautiful, look at you. . .” 

Joel spreads you with his fingers and delves back into you, he draws circles around your clit, his jaw constantly moving with every lick. He doesn’t stop until he’s coaxing another orgasm out of you—your head fills with bliss, your body lifeless. 

When he’s done feasting, he slowly gets up with his hands sliding to your back. He leans down to pepper more kisses onto your tattoos, your skin tingling and singing at the contact. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he murmurs, lips sucking at your neck. “Then let’s get those pretty nipples pierced.” 

“W—What about you?” you ask breathlessly. 

Joel helps you sit back up on the bed, you part your legs so he can come closer, he accepts the invitation with a wide smile, “I have a feelin’ we’ll be seein’ more of each other, sweetheart. You can make it up to me then.” 

Your heart skips a beat and your lips part. 

You have a strong feeling that he’s right. 

With gloved hands, Joel carefully opens a sterile needle package. You watch with rapt attention as he takes out the fresh needle, inspecting it. Your body is still thrumming with pleasure, your head still swimming in a daze. All you can hear is his breathing.

He had already walked you through everything while preparing for the procedure. No touching, no swimming. You had to clean them softly in the shower and that was meant to be the only source of water your nipples touch for a while. If there was any irritation or marks, you were to reach out immediately. 

Honestly, you found it cute that he’d gotten so serious all of a sudden. It was nice to see him so professional too, so competent. 

He comes closer and your body seizes. You hold your breath. With a sudden need to distract yourself, your eyes linger on to the walls. Your brows furrow in surprise when you notice the tattoo designs. You thought this was only a piercing shop. 

“You do tattoos too?” you ask nervously. 

“My brother does,” he answers. “He works the tattoo side of the business and I do the piercings.” 

“It’s nice that it’s in the family. . .” 

“Sweetheart, I know what you’re doin’. You’ll be fine I promise.” 

“Okay. I trust you mister man-I-just-met.” 

He grins, “You didn’t seem to have a problem with it ten minutes ago.” 

“Touché.” 

Joel prompts you to lay on the piercing table, he approaches you with a reassuring smile on his face. You can feel your heart racing as you nervously anticipate the pain of getting your nipples pierced, you imagine the worst, your heart beating in tune with your fear. 

He carefully cleans the area around your nipples and marks the spot where the piercing will go. He double-checks the placement with you to ensure you're happy with it. You give a slight nod, still feeling a bit apprehensive.

“Such a good girl for me,” he murmurs. “It’ll only hurt for a second.” 

With steady hands, Joel takes the needle. You feel a sharp pinch as it punctures through your skin, but the pain dissipates quickly. You let out a small whimper, “It’s okay, it’s okay, just a bit more,” he comforts you and you nod with a long exhale. 

After the needle is through, he quickly follows it with the jewelry, securing it in place. You watch in awe as he attaches the beautiful barbells to your nipples, the adrenaline and endorphins making the pain feel less than it is.

Once the piercings are in place, Joel gently cleans the blood before you can get a look.

“Aaand done, tell me what you think.” 

You’re surprised that he has a mirror in hand when you sit back up. Your gaze finds your reflection and an instant smile spreads across your face. 

“You like’em?” he asks, his tone shy. 

“Like them?” you gasp. “I love them! Thank you!” 

“Oh that’s a relief,” he leans back into the chair, slightly rolling away with a relieved smile. “No matter how many times I do it, I still get nervous.” 

“I definitely love them,” you say, you get up to wear your shirt but end up wincing at the sharp pain. You look at Joel between squinted eyes. “When did you say the pain would stop again?” 

“It’s gonna take a while,” he answers with a sympathetic smile. “You don’t know how much your nipples touch stuff until you get’em pierced.” 

“Well, at least they look good.” 

He shoots you a wink, “They sure do, little rabbit.” 

“That nickname is still ridiculous.” 

“Should I remind you that the last time I used it you came on my tongue?” 

“Nope no reminder needed,” you put your shirt back on, smiling. “I’m still going through the aftershocks.” 

“Good,” he stands with you, hands on your waist, he pulls you as close as he can without your nipples touching his chest. “So, you wanna go out?” Joel’s gaze drops to your chest and he licks his lips, “Gotta make sure you’re takin’ care of them properly.” 

“My hero.” 

[juletheghoul]

friendly neighbourhood handyman

Gif by @manny-jacinto

Authors note: I just want to live in a world where Joel and Sarah are alive and well. So I wrote it, please enjoy being Joel's neighbour! (Thanks to my bestie @wheresarizona for encouraging me and to my literal wife @foli-vora for being the bestest cheerleader)

Pairing: Young Joel Miller x F!Reader

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: 18+ no minors, piv sex, dirty talk, creampie, oral (both m & f receiving) let me know if I missed any!

Masterlist

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It was the dog that led you to him, running out the door once you’d pulled it open, powerless to do anything but yell with your first big run of groceries in your arms. 

“Goddamn it, Tucker!” You all but tossed the groceries inside the house, hoping against hope that the carton of eggs was still intact as you ran towards your dog. Luckily he’d stopped at the house opposite, jumping up onto a dark haired man standing outside his truck. 

“Oh god I’m so sorry! Tucker, get over here!” The man was smiling at the dog, thankfully. A young girl came out, no doubt to investigate the noise. 

“Oh!” She squealed happily, “Hi there!” The dog moved from the man to the girl, jumping up rudely, trying to lick her face. 

“He doesn’t bite! I’m so sorry.” You finally made it over to where his tail was wagging wildly. “Tucker, Jesus Christ, get over here.” You gently pulled him away, catching your breath while staring daggers at the dog. He was nonplussed. 

“He’s so cute!” The young girl came over to pet him where he stood beside you, “Hi Tucker.” His tongue lolled, ecstatic at the attention. 

“You’re alright.” The man finished up behind the truck and walked towards you, he was tall and broad, dark eyes to match his dark hair. He was very handsome. “You just move in?” He scanned behind you.

“Yes, moved in last night.” You smiled, introducing yourself to him. “It’s nice to meet you-“

“Joel.” He shook your outstretched hand, shocking you with how warm his grip was. “My daughter, Sarah.” He gestured to the girl petting the dog at your side. 

“Hi!” She smiled, giving the dog some more love before moving away. He fiddles with the keys in his hand. “Come on Sarah, we’ll be late.” He nodded his head, signaling he couldn’t stay. “I know that house. Garcias used to live there, they had some trouble with the deck if I recall. You have any issues, come see me. I’ll fix it up for you.” He smiled before getting into his truck, letting you walk your unruly dog back to your house. 

It was hard not to look out for him after that. Not failing to notice the lack of a wedding ring. 

From then on every rumble of a truck crawling down the street made you glance out the window. Whenever it was him getting home you’d stare, lip caught between your teeth as you watched him make his way into the house. He always had a quick word for whichever neighbour was out, always a gorgeous smile on his lips. 

You thought about taking him up on his offer, about asking him to help with projects around the house, but then what? What if he had a relationship? How could you find out?

The answer came a few days later while you were out on the front lawn, tackling the disaster that was your garden bed. Denise, the friendly woman next door, had come over to say hello. She was commenting on your flowers when Joel’s telltale truck rumbled towards you. 

You tried not to stare, tried to keep your eyes on Denise, keep your attention on the words she spoke but he caught her attention as well.

“Hey, have you met Joel yet? Joel!” She called him over and it made your stomach drop off a cliff. Your blood buzzes with giddy excitement, reducing you to a schoolgirl with a crush. You couldn’t help but smile at him as he walked over. Tucker was tied to the porch with a long leash to stop him from running out into the street again, and he’d been laying in a patch of sun calmly but that went out the window once he noticed Joel walking over. He bounded over to him and was greeted with a friendly welcome. 

“Hey boy, you behavin’?” He patted him firmly on the flank before reaching you both, “Yes, dog made sure we met.” He smiled. “How’s that deck treatin’ you?” He had a squinty smile on his handsome face. One of Denise’s kids came out then and practically dragged her away, leaving the two of you alone. 

“It’s seen better days, whole house has really.” You turned to look at the house from his perspective. “I take it you're a carpenter?” He moved to stand beside you, both of you facing the house. 

“My brother and I work construction, but I know enough to get by. What’s wrong inside?” 

“Well, the banister is loose, wobbly when you go up the stairs. Couple of loose floorboards and the bathroom could use a new sink. Aside from that-” 

“New coat of paint on the outside wouldn’t hurt either.” He was frowning at the exterior. “You all alone in there?” He turned to face you, “Aside from the dog I mean, anyone to help out?” 

You shook your head no. 

“Just Tucker and I, what about you? Just you and Sarah over there?” You gestured towards his home. Probing. 

“Just us, and occasionally Tommy. My brother.” He pulled the phone out of his pocket to check the time, “Can I take a look at your stairs? Sounds dangerous.” 

“Sure–come in.” Your heart raced as you walked up the porch steps, opening the door for him, making sure to untie Tucker and let him in with you.

He made his way in, wiping his boots off as best he could on your welcome mat, Tucker rushed past you both and made his way over to his favourite spot. 

You definitely hadn’t planned on having visitors. 

“Don’t judge me–I’m almost done unpacking.” There were still a few boxes littering the almost set up living room. Shelves that were halfway filled. Books scattered on the floor. 

“Oh don’t sweat it. You should see the way my place gets sometimes.” He smiled, making his way towards the stairs. “Okay, let's see what we’re workin’ with.” He curled his fingers around the banister and gave it a firm shake, swearing under his breath when it almost came off in his hands. “Okay that is really unsafe. Give me a sec and I’ll grab my tools.” He turned to head for the door. “I can’t fix everything tonight, I have to get dinner started but I can do this.” 

“Oh, please if you’re in a hurry it’s okay!” You rushed out after him. “Really, it’s okay–” 

“No it isn’t, I'll be right back.” He jogged quickly across the cul de sac, reaching into his truck for his tool belt and what looked like a drill. “Okay, I’m going to tighten this up and make it safe, and then later on if you want to replace it or update it or what have you, we can do it.” The way he said we almost let you believe that you were an item, and it thrilled you. 

“You’re too kind Joel, really.” You watched him with hearts in your eyes, eating up the sight of him working away, the way his arms flexed when he pushed on the drill to tighten up some loose screws, when he put a few new ones in. It was a warm day, and you could see the evidence of it as a drop of perspiration rolled down the back of his neck, down past the collar of his shirt. All of him a taunt. 

“Okay–I think we’re in business.” He was up and testing the bannister faster than you would have liked, testing it and smiling, happy with his handiwork. “You free tomorrow?” He was tucking his drill into a loop on his belt. 

“Yes, I get home just after four.” You fiddled with hem of your shirt, your hands itching to circle around his neck. 

Jesus woman, get a hold of yourself. 

“Perfect, I’ll get Sarah to go next door–” He caught you staring at his arms, your lip between your teeth, every dirty thought you’d had about him no doubt plain on your face. You looked at the bannister quickly, too quickly. “...Okay if I just park in your driveway?” He crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame. You could almost hear the smile on his lips along with the pounding of your heart in your ears. 

“Uh, yeah. No problem.” You smiled big. You tried to glance at him quickly but he held your gaze, his head swiveling when you moved. 

“Well okay then.” He smiled big, his dimple the cherry on top. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?” He winked and then left. Tucker let out a sigh as the screen door banged behind him. 

“Tell me about it boy.” You spoke to the dog, watching Joel as he walked away. 

—

You’d gotten home early, and spent it tidying up the living room, hoping to have it all cleared away by the time Joel came over. 

You’d just managed to put away the last few things and change into something a bit nicer than work clothes when his truck rumbled down the street. Tucker bolted to the screen door, barking happily as Joel unloaded his things. 

“Hey boy.” Joel put down his toolbox and shut the screen door, making sure Tucker didn’t get out. “How you keepin’? He gave the dog those flank pats he loved, moving up to scratch behind his ears.

“Thanks again for doing this Joel-” He looked up at you with something like surprise. 

Was the dress too much?

He smiled wide, giving you a not so subtle onceover. 

“It’s no trouble at all.” He straightened up, running a hand through his hair. “Let's see if we can straighten this place out.” You couldn’t help but smile back, his dark eyes lively with something that looked like mischief. 

He did a walk through of the house, noting the things that needed repairing and once he had assembled the mental list he got to work.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Tucker was standing near his bowl, pawing at it to get your attention. “I have beer, water, could make a pot of coffee.”

“Coffee would be great, if you make some for yourself. Don’t just make a pot for me.” You heard tools being set down, the general rummaging noises of a handyman. 

“I could have some coffee.” You set about making it, pouring a pot full of water into Tucker's bowl, and then into the machine before adding the filter and the grounds. It was nice to have something to do instead of standing there gawking at him, 

“So—how are you likin’ the neighbourhood?” His voice carried, deep and friendly. 

“It’s great, nice and quiet.” You called back, reaching for a couple of mugs. 

“And the neighbours?” There was something in his voice, something playful.

“They’re alright.” He laughs before you hear drilling sounds.

When the coffee was ready you poured two cups, and fixed yours the way you liked it. 

“How do you take your coffee?” You called out.

“Just black please darlin’.” Your heart raced at the endearment, making you smile privately before heading towards him. “Thank you kindly, this smells amazing.” He took a greedy sip, seemingly unbothered by the temperature and let out a deep groan. 

“Good?” Pride swelled in your chest to see him enjoy it so much, thankful now that you’d remembered to buy coffee on your first grocery run.

“Fantastic. I can never get it to taste this good. Might knock on your door before work.” He set the mug down after gulping down almost half the cup. You laughed, enjoying your own a little bit more now. 

The sun was making its way down as he worked, patching up all the little problem areas of your home. Sanding the edges off so to speak. He talked a lot, asking questions about you, about Tucker, about family and spilling about his in turn. He was so easy to talk to, his voice easy to get lost in and more than once you got the sense that the conversation was a little more flirty than you’d expected it to be. 

He’d catch you staring at his neck, his arms or his mouth and smile to himself. You’d turn and catch him staring at your legs, at your ass but mostly, his eyes drifted down—to your cleavage. 

Eventually the chit-chat stopped, the only sounds were the sounds of his tools, the jingle of Tucker’s collar, cicadas outside. There was something else though, an energy, a vibe flowing between the two of you, shy smiles were exchanged, his hand brushed softly against yours when he handed you the empty mug. He laughed softly to himself after catching you staring yet again. 

“Darlin’, are you givin’ me the eyes?” His tone was playful and you felt your face heat up under the intensity of his gaze. 

“Maybe.” You played with the hem of your dress. “What if I was?” Your ears were burning, the words almost getting caught in your throat. 

“Well,” He turned to face you, hands on his hips, “I’d have to say I’m givin’ you the eyes right back.” Your heart kicked it into overdrive, brain buzzing with giddiness. “I’d have to confess that I’ve been thinkin’ about what you’d think about me kissin’ you.” He took a tentative step closer, his tools forgotten on the ground. 

“I’d be very agreeable to that.” Your voice was steady despite the adrenaline flooding your veins. 

He closed the gap, his big hands landed on your hips and then he went for it. Pressing his lips softly against yours. 

The kiss was lovely and chaste, until it wasn’t. 

Your hands rested on the arms you’d been staring at, sliding up up up past his shoulders, finally curling through the soft waves on the back of his head. He smelled like clean laundry, mixed with something citrusy, something spicy. Mouthwatering.

He pulled you closer, pulling a surprised gasp from somewhere in your throat. His tongue slid along your bottom lip, begging for entrance that you readily gave. 

It was his turn to groan, your fingers tugging at his hair, pressing yourself closer. 

He pulled away after a moment, coming in again to press more kisses to your lips, feather soft and devastating. He pressed his forehead against yours, the both of you catching your breath. He had lit a fire in your belly, awakened a heartbeat in your cunt and made it weep for him.

“Would you think less of me if I took you to bed?” You watched your own hands as you said the words, holding them against his chest, bringing them down slowly and savoring the solid feel of him beneath them.

“I’d love to–” A trilling noise sounded from his pocket and he answered it with an apologetic frown. “Yes baby girl, what’s wrong?” He stepped away for a moment, sighing quietly and hanging up quickly before coming back towards you.

“Dad duty?” You kept your voice neutral, ignoring the way your panties stuck to your body. 

“Dad duty, but–would you be okay with me comin’ back after I put the kiddo to bed?” 

“Of course, I’ll be waiting.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down for another kiss, licking into his mouth before pulling away. “Don’t forget about me.” You smiled sweetly. 

“Keep the door unlocked, this kid is going to bed in record time.” He pressed another quick kiss, and gave your ass a sharp swat that had you squealing into his mouth. He hurriedly gathered his tools and left. Tucker barked excitedly when the screen door slammed behind him. You couldn’t help but laugh as he practically ran home.

-

Hours passed and the blood settled down from an unbearable heat, to a slow simmer. Tucker retreated to his bed, the last few remaining chores were completed by the time the sun had fully set. With nothing to do but wait, you took a nice, long shower. You fantasized about him surprising you while the cool water flowed over your heated skin, butterflies in your stomach fluttering wildly at the thought of his hands on you again, moving down your arms and over your hips, sliding between your thighs to find you wet and wanting. 

The shower ended without any surprises, which left you to dry off and enjoy the still of the night around you. A soft breeze blew through the open window, the cicadas were singing loud as ever and with a growing sense of doubt you saw that the hour was getting late. Maybe he’d fallen asleep. Maybe he’d been so tired from all the little projects he’d done, not to mention his full time job, and the kid he took care of–

There was a quiet tap on the door that had Tucker’s collar jingling. Your heart raced as you all but sprinted to the front door. 

“Good christ woman.” He was staring at your nightie, “You tryna kill me?” made his way in, careful not to trip over the dog on his quest to lay his hands on you. 

“You like my nightgown?” It was simple, but it complimented you nicely. 

“Like?” He shut the door with his foot before pulling you into his arms, his mouth finding yours with an urgency that made you groan. “Darlin’ I love it.” His facial hair tickled the sensitive skin of your neck when he kissed you there, making a shiver run down your spine. Your hands were restless, moving to feel as much of him as you could. The muscles in his arms flex under your palms when you slide them towards his neck, the skin of his back was warm and he all but purred when you scratched at it lovingly. 

Your confidence grew with every press of his lips. 

“I want you in my mouth Joel–” He surged up to capture your mouth, his tongue obscene, making you ache with arousal. 

“That so?” He herded you up the stairs, the two of you giggling as you made your way into your room. “What else do you want honey?” You pulled his shirt up and off tossing it onto the floor with a grin. 

“I want you to show me how much you like my nightgown.” You bit your lip, pulling him by his waistband towards your bed, you sit close to the edge and look up at him through your eyelashes. His desire for you was obvious. Hard and heavy and tenting out the front of his sweats. 

“Go on Honey, open up that pretty mouth of yours.” He pulled the front of his sweats down and your eyes widened at the sight of him.

“Yes sir.” You do as he says, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out, your hands moving to pull him closer. He groans at the sight of you there and takes his cock in hand, taps it against your tongue a few times and you can’t help but moan at the salty taste of his arousal beading on the reddened tip of him. 

You move one of your hands to hold onto it, noting with nervous excitement at the size of him. He moans when you place open mouthed kisses to the sensitive underside, moving to the base to give him a wide lick all the way to the tip. Repeating it until he whines. 

“Come on sugar, stop teasin’ me.” He reaches down to put the straps of your nightie down, palming your breast before holding onto the hinge of your jaw, guiding your movements gently. “Can you take me a little deeper?” You nod around the tip of him, hollowing your cheeks and taking him as deep into your mouth as you can, swallowing around where he's hitting the back of your throat. He groans deep in his chest when you keep him there, eyes watering, spit spilling around the girth of him, gagging and sputtering. 

“Jesus christ woman.” He says it like he’s in pain and you preen. “Fuck, fuck that’s good.” His thumb presses softly into the plump apple of your cheek, angling your mouth the way he wants it. 

You know you must look a mess, spit dripping down your chin and onto your chest, tears streaming down your face and yet still, Joel is looking down at you like the sun shines out of your ass. 

“Keep this up and I’m gonna fill your mouth.” The words come out strained and despite how much you love having him like this, the ache between your legs is growing unbearable so you give it one final kiss and pull away. 

“My turn.” He pulls the rest of everything off, smiling wide as you scoot back onto your bed, your nipples tightening almost painfully. “God I bet you taste good huh?” He kisses your knee, swearing under his breath at the site of the wet spot between your legs. He curls his fingers around the waistband of your panties and you lift your hips to help him pull them off, his big hands parting your thighs the minute they’re sliding off your ankles. 

“Look at that.” You rest on your elbows watching him get comfortable between your spread legs. “Been thinkin’ about this since the first day I saw you.” He presses a kiss to your mound, then your thigh, sinking his teeth into the meat of it before he nudges at your plump little clit with the tip of his nose. 

You thread your fingers through the dark waves of his hair, smoothing out his eyebrow with the pad of your thumb. 

“Come on baby, who’s teasing who now?” You wiggle your hips a bit, trying to get closer and he laughs, drunk on your excitement.

He dives in, wide licks from the rim of your opening up to the sensitive bundle of nerves. He groans, moving down, sliding his tongue as deep as he can to drink you down straight from the source. 

You watch him through the haze of arousal, breathing hard as he sucks your clit into his mouth, eyes closed in his unabashed enjoyment of the act. His hands squeeze your thighs for a moment before they slide up to pluck at your nipples while he devours you. 

It spreads through your belly like a wildfire, the pleasure building and building until your hips are chasing his tongue, grinding onto his face, your whole body a string being tightened until it finally snaps. 

You shudder, falling back onto the bed, your body practically bowing under the intensity of your climax. 

He presses another kiss to your mound before he crawls up and slots himself in the cradle of your thighs, his cock hot and heavy pressed up against your cunt.

His kiss now is aggressive, all teeth and tongues, breathing hard while he grinds against you—his cock slotting itself between the lips of your sex. Coating himself in you.

You reach down between your legs and line him up, pulling his hips in slowly while his mouth is pressed against yours, both of you sharing a moan when you pull him flush against you. 

“Good god Joel, you’re splitting me open.” You wrap your arms around his neck, biting at his lip and relishing the rumbly groan your comment garners. “So fucking big.” You love how wrecked he is to hear it, so you keep telling him. “Need to be really wet to be able to take you baby—“ he starts off with shallow thrusts, short jabs that make you pant into his mouth. “Hear how fucking wet you made me?” You barely get the words out before his tongue is in your mouth again. 

He slides one knee up for leverage, slipping his forearm under your thigh to hold you open for him and it knocks the thoughts right out of your head. Your mind blanks with every punch of cock and your arms cling to his neck for dear life. 

“Touch yourself baby, need you to come for me.” He looks down, watching the place where you’re joined and you hurry to obey, sticking your fingers into your mouth before bringing them to your clit and he shuts his eyes tight, sweat gathering in his hairline and yours, a thin sheen of it covering you both., 

It only takes a few perfect circles and you're clenching around him with a scream. Your legs try to close automatically but he keeps them open, fucks you through your orgasm until his rhythm stutters. 

“Inside Joel, I wanna feel it—“ he groans, seizing up for a moment before he grinds in deep, filling you to the brim. 

“Fuck.” He collapses onto you, his face buried into your neck while you both catch your breath and it’s only now that you notice your nightie is still around your middle like a belt. You ignore it though, instead focusing on the warm weight of him, comforting and solid on top of you. 

He lifts his head, a blissed out mischievous grin on his face.

“You know, if you didn’t have the money to pay for my handyman services we coulda worked something out—“ you slap his shoulder playfully and he laughs full-throated. The sound is almost more exciting than anything thus far. 

“You’re hilarious.” You push his hair back away from his forehead, smiling to yourself. “A regular comedian, this guy.” 

“I try—“ he pulls out with a hiss, “—you busy this weekend?” He pulls you close, finally divesting you of the nightgown turned belt. 

“Nothing planned yet, why? Are you planning on asking me out?”

“Was thinkin’ about it. Would you say yes?” He skims his nose along your neck, raising goosebumps in his wake.

“Yes. Yes I believe I would.”

—

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[honeyedmiller]

Forbidden Fruit | Joel Miller

pairing: dbf!joel miller x f!reader

warnings: dbf!Joel, age gap (reader is 26, Joel is in his late 40s), no-outbreak!Joel, smut with literally barely any plot (f oral receiving, fingering, squirting, m oral receiving, grinding, [sorta] unprotected piv), pet names, cursing, no use of y/n. 18+! minors do not interact!

word count: 5.8k

synopsis: you return back home from college after graduating with your Master’s degree, and Joel Miller is surprised to see how much you’ve really grown up.

ik the coming back from college trope is so overdone for dbf but I’m sorry I can’t help it. this was also not revised. sorry for any mistakes.

Joel Miller.

Brooding. Stern. Not much of a talker. Joel Miller was more of an observer. And boy, did Joel Miller notice how much you’ve grown.

Joel was your dad’s best buddy. You know, the one where they’d throw barbecues together, invite each other over to watch their favorite sports teams, go on fishing trips together, the works. They’ve been best friends since your dad first moved into the neighborhood. You were twelve then, and Joel loved that his daughter, Sarah, had someone around her age (you were five years older) to accompany her.

Since both of your mothers weren’t in the picture, you and Sarah bonded over that aspect of your lives. She was a sweet kid, and when Joel asked you to babysit her from time-to-time, you had no problem doing that for him.

That was years ago, though, and you’d gone off to college once again to pursue your Master’s degree. Your dad was so proud of you. Good grades, driven, responsible, good head on your shoulders—except the only irrational, illogical thought that kept crossing your mind:

Wanting Joel Miller.

You yearned for the middle-aged man. But who could blame you? He was tall, broad, strong, and not to mention, insanely handsome. Not in the typical silver fox type way, no. He was ruggedly handsome, with a seemingly permanent frown when he was around you, dark brown eyes that could get you to confess your sins, tan skin that glistened deliciously in the sun, a strong nose that was carved out by the Greek gods, dark and thick curls, greying patches of stubble, and a Southern drawl that could drop you to your knees in an instant.

Your yearning for him had always been on the back burner, but you’d always thought of him to be a handsome man. Someone nice to steal glances at here and there, and snicker to your friends about how crushing on someone forbidden as him was truly exhilarating.

Something changed between you two the last time you came home, though. You’d just graduated with your Bachelor’s degree, coming back home for the summer before applying for your Master’s that same year in the fall. All the burning gazes he’d offer your way went unnoticed at first, until you caught him staring one time and he didn’t even bother to look away. He kept his needy eyes locked on you, running over your body fully before snapping his eyes back up to yours. Then it went from looks, to subtle touches. His large hand on your lower back, yours wrapped around his bulging biceps, his brushing against the outside of your thighs, knees touching, so on and so forth.

Needless to say, you spent that summer with your hand between your legs countless times, whispering his name like a sinful confession when you came.

Your stomach twisted when your dad pulled up to your neighborhood. You gazed at all of the cookie-cutter houses, eyes peeled for a certain Miller brother as your house came into view. He wasn't outside, which caused a twinge of disappointment. You nearly rolled your eyes at yourself, because what the fuck. He's your dad's best friend, for god sake.

“So I was thinkin’,” Your dad starts, pulling his truck into the driveway of your house. “Do you want to have a party for graduating with your Master’s?” Your dad’s smile is sincere as he looks at you, and you offer him a small nod.

“Sure.” You say. You’re not big on parties since you did plenty of that in college, so you kind of wanted to settle down now and chill out. You were twenty six after all, and these days, you were much more into small kickbacks or get-togethers rather than parties. But, to your dad, a ‘party’ just meant a neighborhood barbecue mixed in with a pool day.

It was sweet that he wanted to celebrate you and your hard work, and you knew he loved to do stuff like this for you… so why the hell not?

“Perfect!” He slapped his hands against the steering wheel. “I’ll call Joel up and tell him we’re throwin’ a barbecue.”

Your cheeks flushed pink at the mention of his name, but your dad didn’t notice one bit. You clambered out of the passenger seat, helping him get your bags from the bed of his truck.

“‘Matter a’fact, I think Miller is home right now. Go ‘head and get settled in, I’ll go get Joel.” Your dad said, and you nodded. You couldn’t ignore the way your heart skipped a beat at the thought of finally seeing the man who’s been occupying your mind after two years.

You’ve definitely changed a lot within those two years, mentally and physically. You felt as if you were a bit more mature, your mind sharp and witty. You definitely had more of a ‘grown woman’ presence to you, especially in the way you dressed and carried yourself. Physically, you learned how to perfect your makeup in a sense that could literally lure anyone to you, and you’ve been working out a ton. It was noticeable, especially how plump your backside now was.

After you lugged your bags upstairs, you decided you needed a shower. You’d been on a plane all morning, so you just wanted to wash it all away. It didn’t take long for you to rinse off and wash your hair before you started rummaging through your bag to pick out something to wear. You ended up choosing a cream colored ribbed halter top with Levi jeans that made your ass look fantastic.

You knew the way you were dressing was intentional, so you might as well at least try to impress Joel just a smidge. You slicked your hair back into a neat bun, putting in your small gold chunky earrings once more and slipping on the gold bracelet your mom gave you. That was the one thing she left that you cherished, even if she wasn’t in your life anymore.

You gave yourself a once-over in your full body mirror before slightly nodding once to yourself, making your way out of the bedroom. You heard to deep chuckles coming from downstairs, and you’d recognize both from anywhere. Joel was over.

You made it to the bottom of the staircase before your dad perked up at the sight of you.

“Hey pumpkin! Hope you feel refreshed now.” He smiles, and you huff a laugh at the nickname.

“I do. Thanks dad.”

“Well well well, if it isn’t Miss Master’s Degree.” Joel chimed in, and you shifted your gaze to his. Fuck, he looked good. His hair was slightly longer and styled messily sideways, but it suited him. He wore his usual attire—plain gray shirt with dark blue jeans and his boots. He held a beer in his hand, and the neck was pointed right at you.

“Hey, Mr. Miller.” You toss him a tight-lipped smile, and he waves his hand at you.

“C’mon kid, you know it’s Joel. Being called Mr. Miller makes me feel kinda old.” He jokes, and you quirk your brow.

“Who’s to say you aren’t already?” You tease, crossing your arms over your chest. That allowed your breasts to look more voluminous, and it caught Joel’s attention for a couple of milliseconds. To an outsider, it would’ve looked totally innocent. But you knew better.

“You wound me, darlin’.” He held a hand over his chest, pretending to look hurt. You crack a small smile, wondering when the hell he got so friendly toward you. Usually, he’d have a frown on his face when he talked to you and grunts for words to match.

“So, is the party this weekend okay?” Your dad asks, moving his gaze back to you.

You nod in agreement. “It’s perfect.”

-

Saturday rolled around quickly, and now you were getting ready for your party. Guests would be here within the hour or so, so you sat at your vanity in your room in your plush robe after have just taken a shower. You styled your hair to a pretty blowout, and now you were working on your makeup. You were just about to apply your lip liner when your dad knocked on your door.

“Kiddo? I’m gonna run to the store to get some last minute stuff. Joel’s here if you need anything.” He says through the door. How convenient.

“Okay!” You shout back, and continue to line your lips. You heard the front door shut loudly, and a minute later, heavy footsteps came up the stairs. They stopped outside of your room, and you quirked your brow expecting Joel to just knock already.

“You can come in, Joel.” You said, shaking your head a bit. Your room door opened slowly to reveal the beautiful man, and you eyed him through your vanity mirror.

“Sorry, didn’t know if I’d be disturbin’ ya.” He shrugs, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. You clenched your legs together at the sight.

“Well, you’re not.” You shrug back, continuing to finish lining your lips.

“Well don’t you look pretty.” He says, shuffling further into your room. He’s by the end of your bed now, hand on his hip with an extended knee propped out.

“Thanks. So do you.” You tease, and his breath catches. You smirk slightly, opening a tube of your favorite nude lipstick before applying that.

“Y’know, you oughta be real proud of yourself, gettin’ your Master’s n’ whatnot.” He starts, and you halt your movements to look at him through the mirror again. You turn your body in your chair to fully face him, and his eyes roam over the loosely tied robe that clings to your body. The fact that you might not have anything underneath drives him fucking wild.

You see him eyeing you, so you stand up and saunter just before him. You stare up at him, head cocked to the side.

“Means I’m twenty thousand dollars smarter.” You say, and his gaze locks on yours. The tension is nearly unbearable, and fuck do you wish he’d just make the first move. Maybe it’s his morals that have him screaming ‘don’t do it’ in his head, and honestly, you have to give it to him. You’re his best friends daughter; someone who should be completely off-limits. Not to be messed with. Forbidden fruit, if you will.

“‘N what does that twenty thousand dollar smarter brain tell you now?” He leans down more so your faces are only inches apart.

“Tells me that you might have an attraction to me. You know, with the way you look at me, imagining me under you while you take care of me. While I say your name like a—”

“Fuck, darlin’, you don’t know what you’re gettin’ yourself into.” He snaps, and truthfully, he doesn’t either. This is dangerous territory, but you’re a grown woman and you could decide for yourself what you wanted and didn’t want.

“You know, Joel,” You purr. “You can say all you want that you don’t want this, but I see the way your eyes burn holes in my body. It’d be crazy to say yes and give in to what we both want, but it’d be even crazier if you lied and said you didn’t want it.”

You’re challenging him, and he didn’t like it. He was so used to being the one in control, and now that you had him wrapped around your finger, he was losing what little he had left.

“How much time do you think we’ll have?” He asks, looking up at the ceiling. He can’t believe he’s about to give into the temptress that you are, but like you said, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want it.

“Dad left ‘bout ten minutes ago. I’d say another thirty or so.” You shrug, and he tips your chin up so your gaze meets his. Your arousal was so strong that you felt the wetness stick to the apex of your inner thighs. It made you want to squirm.

“You sure this is somethin’ you want? Don’t think you can handle it, darlin’. Since you’re so used to those college boys.” He spits the last word, and you hum.

“Show me how a real man’s supposed to fuck me then, Joel.” You cross your arms over your chest.

“Aht aht, not so fast now. Gotta warm you up first. Take off your robe and go lay down.” He instructs, and you couldn’t believe this was happening. You’d been dying to get his hands on you. You tried your hardest to keep your composure, so you simply stepped back from him and slowly untied your robe. You let it drop to the floor and pool around your feet. You looked back up at him as you made your way to your bed, laying your head on your silk pillowcase.

“What a fuckin’ sight you are, baby. You belong in a museum.” He admires your body from above, and usually, you’d feel confident in bed with other boys looking at your body. But this was no boy. This was a real man, and Joel Miller at that. The fucking neighborhood dilf that everyone wanted to sink their claws in, but he never let them.

He knelt down on your bed between your legs, spreading your thighs further apart so your glistening heat was in perfect view of his line of sight.

He smacked his tongue against his teeth three times as his hands trailed up further to the apex of your thighs.

“Already this wet n’ needy n’ I haven’t even touched ya. How ‘bout that, hm?” Joel may’ve lost control in the teasing beforehand, but in bed, he gained it all back. Now you were the one wrapped around his finger, needy for him. You know he wanted to you to beg, but you didn’t give him that satisfaction. Not yet, at least.

He moved his thumbs up to your puffy lips, spreading them apart to get the most intimate view of your pussy. You looked down at him admiring you, and it sent a shiver down your spine. No one’s ever looked at you like that—taken their time to admire what they were about to have. Joel was slow, careful, like he cherished you and your body. Like it was sacred.

He tilted his head to the side as his eyes snapped back up to yours, like he was waiting for you to beg him. Again, you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of something you both wanted, so you tilted your head right back.

“Not gonna use your manners or anything?” He scoffs, and you huff a laugh.

“I have a vibrator in my nightstand that can do the job just fine, Mr. Miller.” You tease, and oh, he doesn’t like that.

“You’re a fuckin’ brat, y’know that?” He shakes his head and you toss a saccharine smile his way. You’ve got him riled up, and you just needed to tip him over the edge.

“I didn’t, Mr. Miller.” Was all you said before he smacked your pussy lightly once. The action made you moan and clench around nothing.

“No you didn’t my fuckin’ ass.” He spits onto your pussy, before delving himself into your folds. You toss your head back and let out a breathy moan, his tongue already completely coated in your slick. The muscle glides over your folds easily, finds its way to your clit, and traces tight circles around it.

“Fuck, oh my god.” You whine, gripping onto your bed sheets.

“Taste fuckin’ delicious, baby.” Joel moaned against you, continuing his relentless torture with his tongue. He moved his tongue from your clit down to your entrance, licking around once before entering you. His rough hands moved up from your thighs to your breasts, fingers teasing and pulling your sensitive peaks. Your started to squirm against him, and he smacked your breast softly.

“Stay. Still.” He warns, and you moan. This man and his tongue is going to be the absolute death of you. Then, his tongue slips out of you and dares to go down even further—a place no one has been before. You choke on a gasp as his tongue circles your hole, licking over it a few times slowly before gliding all the way back up to your clit. He brings one of his hands down from your breasts to your pussy, and he separates his mouth for a second before coating his ring and middle finger with your slick before sliding them into you.

The stretch of his two fingers was so much more than your own could offer, and it felt fucking good. He looked down at you for a split second, eyes half-lidded and burning with desire. His irises were nearly black, as he watched you with your brows threaded together and jaw slack, enjoying the feeling of his fingers pumping in and out of you languidly.

“That’s it, princess.” He encouraged, before moving his mouth back onto your clit. He sucked on it softly, generous enough to give you just the right amount of pressure that you needed. His expert fingers and tongue moved in such perfect sync that you felt yourself getting close already. Joel didn’t let up, keeping his pace steady for you. He felt you clench around his fingers, and he moaned against you in encouragement.

Within seconds, the heat in your core flooded your body head to toe in release, moaning out Joel’s name ceremoniously. He removed his mouth from you but kept his fingers in you, moving them slowly. He maneuvered himself so he was hovering over you, grabbing your jaw to prop it open.

“Open your mouth.” He said, and you immediately obeyed. He spit directly into your mouth, tasting his own saliva mixed with your arousal. Heat flooded your core again as the faint feeling of his fingers started to move faster.

“Fuck, Joel–” You gasped as he sped his movements up, a dark look taking over his eyes. A sickly sweet smirk made its way onto his lips as you felt a pressure build in you again, but it felt different this time. This time, it was one like you needed to pee.

“Joel, stop, I feel like I need t–” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before that strange sensation built up so rapidly that clear liquid gushed from your core. You moaned loudly, the sensation making your whole body tingle.

Joel chuckled darkly. “Well look at that. The princess can squirt.” Before, you would’ve wanted to wipe the sickly satisfaction that was strewn on his face, but after him making you cum the way you did, you couldn’t say shit.

Your body was still trembling from the aftershocks of the orgasm, ragged breath and all. Joel started to unbuckle his belt, tugging at his pants until they were around his ankles. The confinement of his cock in his underwear was nearly painful, and he couldn’t wait to see your lips wrapped around him.

“Y’gonna watch me please myself or ya gonna help me with this… situation? Unless you don’t wanna ruin your lipstick, princess.” He gestures down to his bulge, and you nearly roll your eyes.

“Lipstick’s re-applicable, Mr. Miller.” You maneuver your weak body down to the floor and on your knees in front of him.

“What’d I tell you about calling me that?” He grabs your chin between his thumb and index finger harshly, jerking your head up to meet his gaze. He looks sexy like this, all riled up while he waits for you to make him feel good.

“Oh c’mon, Joel, you’re still the neighborhood dilf regardless if I call you that or not.” You laugh, moving your hands up to tug at the waistband of his boxers.

“Christ woman, you really test my patience y’know that?” He scoffs with a lopsided grin, shaking his head. His mind was swirling with thoughts of how grown up you were now; how mature you’ve really gotten. He was a nasty man taking what he wanted from you and you were a nasty woman for letting him. The secrecy made it all the better, and truth be told, Joel hasn’t done anything this exhilarating in a very long while.

You both came to a silent mutual agreeance that this was nothing more than a casual fling; something you both could fulfill your needs with. Which, honestly, was perfect for you. You weren’t looking for anything and you’d be damned if that thing was with your father’s best friend. This was to get the mutual pining out of the way, and for Joel to show you how a real man should fuck you.

You tugged his boxers down, freeing his painfully hard erection. Joel wasn’t small by any means—he had girth and an impressive length. He’s by far the biggest you’ve ever had, but that wasn’t stopping you from showing him how you could handle him.

His tip was dark pink and leaking pre cum, waiting to be cleaned up by your tongue. You looked up at him as he cocked an eyebrow at you, silently challenging you to go ahead and take it all.

You close your eyes for a split second before opening them again, taking his heavy cock into your hand and giving the silky flesh a few tugs. A low grown emerges from his chest, eyes closing in pure ecstasy. You decided to play nice and not tease him too much, so you leaned forward and gave his tip a few kitten licks to gather the pre cum on your tongue.

Joel inhaled a sharp breath as you licked down his whole shaft on each side, coming back up to kiss the tip. You used one hand to steady his length before putting him slowly in your mouth, inch by inch before your nose was met with the coarse curly hairs at the base of his cock. His tip hit the back of your throat, but you swallowed around him as best as you could before you had the urge to gag.

“Good god, woman— fuck.” He hissed, jaw going slack and eyes pressing closed in pleasure. You hummed against him as you raised your head back up, going back down again at a slow pace at first. You eventually found a steady rhythm, making sure to pay some mind to his balls too. He was a panting mess above you, trying so hard to keep it together but barely managing. He kept repeating your name over and over, so much so that it almost sounded like a whine. The arousal between your legs pooled up again, fast. Hearing a grown man whine for you and what you were doing for him made your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head. You’d never considered yourself a dom, but things like this really fucking turned you on.

You licked up the side of one particular protruding vein on his cock up to the slit of his tip, and he lost it.

“‘M’not gonna fuckin’ last if y’keep doin’ that.” He sighs, gripping your comforter.

“That’s the whole point.” You said, doing that move a few more times before he stilled, hips bucking up into your mouth as he spilled his cum down your throat. You swallowed every last bit of it, moving your mouth off of him with a ‘pop’. You stood up using his knees to elevate yourself, naked and no longer self conscious of being in such a state in front of him.

“We should probably cut it off here. People will be arriving soon.” You say, stepping back to pick up your robe and tie it around yourself again. You looked at yourself in the mirror, and truthfully, you looked much better than you thought you would. You just needed to fix some slightly runny eye makeup and your lipstick.

“Yeah,” Joel nods as he stands up, tucking himself back into his boxers and pulling his pants back up. He re-buckled his belt, straightening himself out before turning to you. You met his gaze through the mirror, and with dark eyes and a smug smile, he steps up behind you before putting his hands on your hips. He leans down so his mouth is level with your ear, and whispers so softly to you that it sends violent chills down your spine. “I’ll ruin every single man for you once I’m buried in that pretty cunt. That’s a promise.”

He walks away without saying another word, leaving you absolutely dumbfounded.

-

The party was in full swing, neighbors that you hadn’t seen in years at the function. It was nice to see and catch up with everyone, but you couldn’t ignore the heavy ache in your core. Joel’s words kept replaying in your head, and you’ve had half a mind to just drag him upstairs and have him fuck you then and there. But, life wasn’t always fair.

You spent all afternoon telling the whole neighborhood what you majored in, what kind of jobs you were looking for, moving plans, so on and so forth. You lived in a small community just outside of the city, so everyone was in everyone’s business here.

Joel kept mostly to himself for the whole party, except for the same burning gaze he always gave you when no one was watching, and the occasional touch on your lower back that would make you go rigid. He was especially fixated on your legs, which he couldn’t help but imagine being wrapped around his waist as he fucked you senseless.

Today, you wore shorts that showed off the plump curve of your ass, and a loose white linen short sleeve button down with the first couple of buttons undone. Your hot pink bikini top was peaking out from it which gave the simple outfit a small pop of color. You’d purposefully lean over to talk to people who were sitting, or bend down at the waist to get drinks from the cooler because you knew he was watching.

You kept your cool though, because that’s all you really could do at that point. You had to pretend that the older Miller brother’s face definitely wasn’t buried between your legs hours prior, or that he definitely didn’t make you squirt for the first time, or that you definitely didn’t have your lips wrapped around his cock.

By the time the party dwindled down, it was nearly midnight. You were escorting the last of the guests out with a genuine ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’, before heading back to the backyard where your dad and Joel remained.

Your dad was hammered, which in all honesty, was pretty funny. He’d rarely ever get drunk like this so you know he was going to sleep good tonight.

“Hey dad, why don’t you go upstairs and get some rest. Joel and I will clean up what’s left out here.” You suggest, putting a hand on your dad’s back.

He mumbled something incoherent before smiling down at you. “Okay sweetie. You’re right. I’m gonna… gonna… yeah. Do what you said.” He nods and you stifle a laugh as he drags his feet to the glass sliding door.

“Let me help you old man.” Joel chuckles as he helps your drunken father upstairs and safely into his bedroom. You clean up the small amount of trash left, thankful that your neighbors are decent people and throw away their own messes. You find the weather around you to be still and warm—perfect for the jacuzzi. You strip yourself of your shoes, shirt and shorts, leaving you in nothing but your skimpy bikini. The bottoms were nearly swallowed by your ass, so you’re kind of grateful that your dad went upstairs to sleep off his fun day.

You settled yourself in, groaning softly as the warm water settled your bones. You closed your eyes and leaned your head back against the concrete, enjoying the peace and quiet.

That is, until the sliding glass door opened and closed again. You didn’t open your eyes, but the sound of heavy footsteps neared you. The back porch light was turned off, so the backyard was completely submerged in darkness before the jacuzzi lights turned on. A pretty, soft purple glow shone throughout the space, the jet suddenly coming on as well. Bubbles started to form, and that’s when you opened your eyes. You were surprised to see Joel stripping down to his boxers, two beers in hand.

He climbed in next to you, handing you an uncapped beer. He didn’t say a word as he settled, clinking the neck of your beer bottle with his own. You both took a swig, and you set the beer bottle down before you dissociated while looking at the purple bubbles.

“Did you have a good party?” He asked, setting his beer bottle down too.

“I did.” You nod, looking at him. Just like that, the tension was back. You were sure the arousal was a sticky mess on your bikini bottoms had you not climbed into the jacuzzi. Even the soft flesh between your thighs was drenched. The heavy ache was low in your belly, and you really wanted Joel to get rid of it.

“Please tell me you want me right now as much as I want you.” You say, and Joel was taken aback by your bluntness. Might as well just say it straight up, right? No point in beating around the bush now. Hunger flashed through his eyes, and he swallowed thickly.

“Yeah, I do.” His voice was merely a whisper above the loud bubbles.

“Good.” Was all you said before you moved your hand down to his boxers, palming his semi-hard cock through the soaked material.

“I love when a woman knows what she wants. It’s sexy.” Joel admits, and you toss him a smug smile.

“That’s because I want to see how a real man should be fucking me, Joel.” You said, and he pokes his tongue out to lick his lips.

He swiftly grabs you, pulling you on top of him. His cock was now fully hard, and at the right angle, your clit caught onto it through the fabric of your bikini bottom. A low moan escaped you, tossing your head back. Joel’s heavy hands settled on your hips below the water, moving down to your ass to securely rest there. He gave it a squeeze before rutting you forward, grinding your aching core on his cock. You both sighed in pleasure as you continued to do so.

Your eyes snapped open as you looked at him, showing him you wanted him in you sooner rather than later. His eyes flickered from your gaze to your lips, which he’d been wanting to kiss but he didn’t know if that was crossing a boundary. You made the initial move and moved forward, pressing your lips to his.

Joel was surprisingly gentle with the kiss, threading his fingers through your hair. You kept grinding your hips into him, earning a throaty moan from him.

“Joel,” You pulled apart from his lips quickly. “I need you. Fuck, I need your cock so bad.” You beg, finally breaking. He smirked at you and you stood on your knees so he could pull his boxers down, freeing his erection once more. You just pulled your bikini bottom to the side, teasing his tip with your slit before he stopped you,

“Wait,” He said, and you halted your movements. “Are you on the pill?” It was nice that he was checking, because any dumb college boy you’ve hooked up with would’ve just been okay with buying you a plan B in the morning. Luckily you were smarter than they were, and thought about contraceptives way in advance.

“I have an IUD.” You say. He nods and lets you continue your teasing, before he pulled you down for another kiss. This time, you lined him up with your entrance before sliding down on him slowly, both of you swallowing each other’s moans. You were lucky the jets and bubbles were loud, or else anyone could’ve easily heard you both.

You went all the way until he was buried to the hilt, and you gripped this thick locks in pleasure. The stretch was fucking delicious, and you immediately began to move. You took the pain with the pleasure, the mix of both adding to the fuel of the fire that was your arousal.

You rocked your hips back and forth, and Joel was nearly choking on his own breath. “Fuck, baby, you’re so goddamn tight.” He hissed, tossing his head back. You used that as opportunity to kiss his neck, pulling more moans from him. He steadied your hips as he pulled you up and nearly off of him, before slamming you down on his cock again. You had to cover your mouth from nearly screaming out loud at the sensation. He continued this pattern, fucking up into you quickly as he captured your mouth with his. He swallowed your moans, one arm braced around your lower back as the other one held your neck securely.

The friction from the quick movements was enough to make you cum without warning, and your body trembled against his as he kept fucking up into you.

“Feels so fuckin’ good, Joel. Fuck you’re so big.”

“Yeah baby? Gonna ruin this little pussy. It’s mine.”

Fuck, that was dangerous territory, but his dirty talk spurred you both on as another orgasm was building up in your core again. Joel felt you fluttering around him, and he breathlessly chuckled. He nipped the flesh above your bikini top on your breasts, sure to leave a mark there for the following few days.

“Dirty fuckin’ girl, fuckin’ your dad’s best friend like this. Wonder what he’d say if he saw us both right now.” Joel groaned, chasing after his own orgasm.

“He’d–he’d k-kill us b-oth.” You stuttered as Joel’s cock hit a spot inside of you that had you fucking seeing stars.

“That’s it, there you go baby,” Joel felt as you clamped down on him, urging you on. “Cum with me.” Was all he said before your second orgasm ripped through you, his seconds later.

“Good girl.” Was all he said before you lifted yourself off of him a minute later, the loss of his heavy cock in you something devastating. You were heaving messes, the Texas night heat getting to you both.

Your dad really would kill you both if he ever found out about this. Well, more like he’d kill Joel, and you’d be banished from the family forever.

This whole ‘forbidden fruit’ thing was truly the most exhilarating thing you’ve ever done in your life, but surely with Joel it was just a one time thing…

Right?

[ghostfanwriter]

💖🧰 Dirty Hands 🧰💖

Part two

🧰 Pairing: Joel Miller x Afab!Reader

💖 Synopsis: Your dads, Bill and Frank, are the only people you've ever met. When Joel Miller comes to visit, you learn about new and exciting feelings.

🧰 Features: 🔞, soft!Joel, kissing, very secluded and kinda oblivious reader. Honestly there's not much, this is mostly just the setting of the story.

💖 Word count: A bit over 5k.

🧰 About this: Timeline's a bit different from the show. Basically their ages are the same from the show, Bill and Frank are older than Joel. But here, they all meet in 2023, after the raiders already shot Bill. The main difference from the show is that here Bill and Frank are not as old in 2023 as they are on the show, I picture then as old as they are when they meet Joel and Tess on the show.

💖 Author's note: She's finally here! I loved writing Bill and Frank ✋🏻🤧 literally my favorite. Writing their dynamics with reader was a joy, loved it.

Good reading 🧰💖

💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰

💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰

You've lived in Lincoln your whole life, but the majority of it was inside the town your dad built for himself right after the outbreak.

He was the only person you knew — or remembered, at least — until Frank arrived.

You were six or seven when your dad told you to lock yourself inside your bedroom and gave you a gun, which he had already taught you how to use. "You only open this door for daddy or to kill whoever is inside that trap, alright, cupcake?" You obeyed, looking out the window and watching him talk and then walk the man past his gates.

You only opened your door when he called you, a couple minutes later, a plate of food in his hands. "This is for you, baby. I'm gonna feed him and he'll go away. He can't see or hear you, so you stay here real quiet. I'll tell you when you can leave."

And you did, but instead of calling you, he came back later, tucked you in and told you not to leave your room for the rest of the night. You had a bathroom and he brought you more food and told you not to worry, so you didn't mind.

Next morning he introduced you to Frank, saying he'd stay around for a while.

A while became forever, and before you knew it, you had two dads. Two very different men who did their best to look after you.

But nothing they did could prepare you for today.

Nothing could prepare you for the man you'd see today.

🧰💖≈

Your dads were having people over for the first time in literally forever. But you wouldn't be a part of it.

"Bill, for God's sake, she would have so much fun! She needs to see people." You heard Frank almost yell from the kitchen.

"I'm not letting them see her! I don't know what got over me to let you give them our fucking location! I won't let them know we have a daughter!" Bill sounded angry and upset, he was afraid everything he worked so hard on building could be destroyed by Frank's "friends".

So the first woman — if you don't consider the one in your faded memories — you've ever seen, and the very first man who wasn't one of your dads, had to be seen from your bedroom window.

When you saw her you smiled, thinking about all the things you two could talk about. Did her hair annoy her as much as yours did sometimes? Did she feel the same things that you did? What would her voice sound like?

Your wandering was cut by the next new person you saw.

Tall, broad shoulders, short and greying hair and beard and a sculpted face. An imposing figure that took over your senses, setting itself instantly as your new favorite sight. He made your stomach feel like it was loose, floating around your belly, but you couldn't bring yourself to look anywhere else.

You watched from your window as they sat down and ate. Your dads clearly having two very different experiences, Frank was laid back and having fun, while Bill sat stiff and you constantly saw his hand reach for his gun.

Your attention was focused on the man, though. The way he sat, how his jaw moved when he chewed on your dad's food, how his eyes were hooded and serious, most of the time holding your dad's gaze.

His eyes were so pretty, from a distance they seemed dark and mysterious, and you stared into them, your brows furrowing with the intensity of his look. You were so lost in them that it took you — way over — a second to realize he was looking right at you. And you only noticed because your dad yelled.

"Frank, not inside!"

You hid behind your curtains. Your chest moving so fast it hurts, and you can feel every contraction of your heart.

Your dad will fucking kill you. They shouldn't have seen you, but now the man has.

"Aren't you going to introduce us to her?" He had barely spoken yet, and his voice sent chills down your spine, pooling in your panties.

"Who?" Bill asked, his hand reaching for his gun. He was ready to kill both of them at any wrong move.

"Oh, shit." Frank sighed under his breath. "Bill, it's okay." He said, resting his hand on Bill's shoulder.

"There's a girl?" The woman asked excited, looking around to see if she could find you.

"Fucking — stay here." Bill told the man and the woman.

Him and Frank walked inside, and you, still hidden behind the curtains, kept looking at the man. Your heart felt like it didn't fit inside your chest anymore.

You stepped away when they walked inside your bedroom.

"Honey, I told you to be careful. Goddammit." Bill said, opening his arms as you run towards him, tugging yourself under his embrace.

"Sorry, daddy. I wanted to see them." Frank invited himself into the hug. "It's okay, darling. We'll take you to meet them, if you want to. They seem like good people, even your dad has to admit." But Bill's face didn't look like he agreed with it.

"Can I?" You looked into Bill's eyes and he looked at Frank, shaking his head no, but looking back at you and sighing.

"Okay. You can come down. But!" He said when you started giggling into his chest, hugging him tighter. "But they think we have others come over, so keep that in mind. And, listen to me. You're gonna stay with us, alright? I want to keep my eyes on you the whole damn time." You nod enthusiastically, hugging Frank.

"Oh, you'll love Tess!" He said and you made a little happy sound.

"I know! I have so much I want to talk to her about!" You say excited. Bill sighing behind you, scratching the back of his neck and shaking his head, a soft smile breaking through his face.

You three reach the front door. Your arm is tangled with Bill's, your eyes wandering around as you walk outside.

"Look, there is a girl. She's our daughter. She's... We wanted to know you first, before you could meet her." Frank said, walking outside first, you and Bill following right after.

You were wearing a yellow summer dress, and you could see the man gulping when he saw you. You were a vision he thought this world would never provide him again.

Feminine and pretty. Colorful amongst all the muted colors everyone was wearing.

Your dress perfectly outlining your curves, your hair looking like silk, falling carefully over your shoulders, your eyes wide; attentive but curious at the same time.

"Oh, look at you! You're so pretty!" The woman said, and you couldn't hold your smile back anymore. "I'm Tess, what's your name?" You looked up, at Bill, who caught your gaze and nodded for you to respond.

You told her your name, and you could see the man's brows furrow behind her when you said it.

"Well, it's really nice to meet you. This is Joel, we're..." She looked back at him, then at your dads, and she seemed uncomfortable for a second. "We're friends. And we're really glad to be here, to meet this place. To meet you!" She finished with a warm smile.

You loved her.

You shook her hand and the man approached you, shaking your hand as well, his eyes sweet but intense, and a soft smile on his lips. You couldn't help the girly smile that stamped your own lips while greeting him.

His hand was big, rough, textured, but also soft and warm, his fingers double the size of yours, distracting you. It made your breath get stuck on your throat, and your mind wonder what it would feel like if he held you the way your dads held one another. If he touched your face or your sides. If he ran his hands up your legs, like you do sometimes at night.

If his rough fingers would hurt you if they touched you on other places, how much further than yours his fingers could go, how much more you'd have to open yourself to him.

You loved him.

You all sat back down at the table, Bill insisting you'd sit between him and Frank. You talked a lot to Tess, about things you had tried to talk about with your dads, but they never seemed to fully understand.

After your dad lowered his guard a little, he let you, Frank and Tess walk around, show her some things and talk. You felt comfortable around her, like she was someone you had always known.

Whenever you looked at the man, though, you felt the same things from when you were watching him through your window. Your stomach felt funny, and your palms dry and sweaty at the same time. The fact that he kept looking at your direction didn't help you, either.

Everytime you were not around him you felt in your guts that you were wasting your time, that you should come back and try to get close to him.

It was like there was a magnetic field between you two. You couldn't stop looking for him, and he seemed to not find interest in anything else after seeing you.

Every fucking time you looked at him you found his eyes already on you. Analyzing you, studying you, as if he wanted to engrave you on his mind.

You were everything he thought didn't exist anymore. You were feminine, your hair was pretty, your skin was soft and you smelled good. Frank had made you a perfume with a few flowers and fruits, and you wore it everyday.

It smelled fresh and delicate, and the smell got stuck on Joel's wrist, coating his mind with a soft but persistent layer of you.

Even more than the smell, the hair or the soft skin, it was you that drove him crazy. The silly smile you had stamped on your face the whole goddamn time, the way you talked to Tess like you could never run out of things to talk about, how delicate you looked.

But also how your dads told the story of the day raiders tried to invade Lincoln, how you and Bill shot them, how you killed the one who shot Bill. Most of all how you told the whole thing with a smile on your face. How not fragile you were, despite your girly figure.

How intriguing you were.

And Joel couldn't keep his mind and his eyes off you.

He knew he wouldn't find someone like you ever again, so he wanted to make sure he had your frame right on his brain.

Having his attention made you feel good, in a different, new way. In a way you've never felt before. But it also made your stomach feel funny, like you were sick.

You went for Bill, who was sitting on a porch chair next to the man, taking to him. "Daddy, is it okay if I go to bed? Not feeling great." You asked your dad, the man shifting by his side.

"Yes, darling, sure. Do you need anything?" He asked, his voice coated with concern.

"No, I'm fine. Think it's just been a lot for one day. Just wanna lay down for a bit." You bend down to kiss his cheek, and he kisses you too, the man's eyes glued to your body the whole time.

"See you, Joel. Nice to meet you." You say to the man, who nods and smiles at you, offering you his hand again, making your cheeks burn at the feeling of them.

💖🧰≈

You wake up with a soft knock on your bedroom door.

You open your eyes to find Frank, who invites himself in, sitting on your bed.

"Hi, darling. How are you? Tired already?" He mentions for you to sit next to him, which you do, snuggling next to him, hugging his side.

"Doing fine. Better anyway." He looks down at you, worried. "Oh, what was wrong? You didn't say anything."

You don't know how to explain, but you try anyway.

"I don't know, I felt weird since they arrived. Felt this thing on my stomach, like I would throw up. But now I think it's gone."

"Oh, sweetheart-" your dad starts, but he stops when Bill and the man stand on your doorframe. The man looks at you from behind your dad, up and down, smiling softly at your sleepy face and hair. "Frank, cover her up, please."

He does it, covering your body — previously covered only by a tight tank top and an underwear — with your blanket. "I'm showing Joel his room. Baby, are you feeling better?"

You nod and smile. "Good, was worried about you. Now, keep your door closed. Locked, please." Bill says as he closes your door and leaves with the man.

You grunt, feeling the same thing again. "Ugh, here it is. Not gone yet. Dad's food never made me feel like this before." You snuggle closer to Frank, who sighs and hugs you tighter.

"Oh, honey pie, you're not sick. It wasn't dad's food." You look at him.

What could it be, then?

"But don't worry, Tess already left and Joel is just hanging over for a while to help me and dad around with some fixings."

You grunt, feeling funny again. Thinking about Joel leaving and never seeing him again makes your heart sink down on your chest.

💖🧰≈

You spend the next day inside your bedroom, watching the man work with your dads, fixing some things on the exterior of your house and helping them with things they can't do by themselves anymore.

Watching him carry heavy things around and laughing with your dads made you uncomfortable. Your body begging you for some relief.

So you give it some. You lift your skirt and touch yourself over your panties. Steady and fast circles around your clit until you cum, the man being the only thing in your mind.

You imagined what it would feel like to have him hold you, his skin touching yours, what kissing would feel like. How he'd hold you on his strong arms, how he'd move you around.

You wondered if he looked like the men from the magazines you found on your dad's car, and what he would to with it, what it would be like, what it would feel like.

As soon as your high was over you heard your name being yelled from outside. It was already dark, but you were close to the window and got worried they may have seen you.

You'd be fucked if they did.

You looked down and found all three of them looking at you. Bill was the one to speak.

"Baby, can you cook us something for dinner, please? We're gonna be here for a while still." You hoped your voice would come out okay.

"Sure daddy, be right down." You answered, Joel's gaze weakening for a split.

"Thanks, love." Frank said and they went back to work.

💖🧰≈

You felt funny while you cooked dinner. Specially since you knew Joel was gonna eat. You couldn't pull yourself out of him while you cooked, thinking about how tired and hungry he must be, and how you'd be the one providing food for him. How you'd be making him feel good after working all day.

It makes you want to do it more, to do things for him, help him feel better after a tiring day.

You're so lost on him you don't notice when he walks in the kitchen, watching you for a while in silence. You drop a wooden spoon on the floor and bend over to grab it, your skirt fully lifting and leaving your whole ass on display.

He chokes on his saliva, startling you, and you get up, looking at him. "You always wear that around the house?" He asks, talking directly to you for the first time since you introduced yourself the day before, his voice a little broken.

"Yes, she does. Because she's our daughter and it's usually only us around here." Frank says out of nowhere. "But I told her she should wear more appropriate things while Joel's around, didn't I, love?" You blush.

He did, but this was literally the first time you had someone over, so you forgot. And honestly "appropriate" isn't exactly clear. You weren't naked, and your clothes were never questioned before.

"Sorry, dad, I'll go change. Can you watch the pans for me, please? Thanks." You say rushing out of the kitchen, avoiding Joel's gaze.

"You back the fuck off, alright? Bill will fucking murder you if he sees you watching her like that." Frank says after a bit, while Joel grabs a cup of water.

"I wasn't watching her, I'm sorry. Just stopped and she dropped it. I just wanted some water. Besides, there's Tess—" Frank looked at him from over his shoulders while he stirred a pan with pasta. "Don't shit me, Joel. Tess told me about you two. I know you're not a couple anymore." Joel shifts on his feet. Tess shouldn't have said anything.

"But she's young, and she's used to only have us around the house. She got overwhelmed by you, and I believe you may be a good man, but not for my daughter." Joel's heart aches a bit. He thinks of Sarah, how livid he'd be if a man ever looked at her the way he found himself looking at you.

"And again, be thankful I was the one to walk in and not Bill. You'd be buried outside by now. If he left anything to be buried, that is."

You walk back in, in a sweater and pants. Bill walks in at the same time, drenched in sweat, panting quietly.

"You're sick, honey? Why are you wearing this?" You look over at Frank, who rolls his eyes. "She just wanted something more cozy, Bill. She's alright." He looked at the three of you, his gaze softening at you. "Okay then, I like that you're fully covered." He says, eyeing Joel for a second before looking at you again.

"I'm gonna shower and then we can eat. Thank you, darling. It smells amazing." He kissed your cheek and went to his bedroom.

"Love the outfit, sweetheart. Don't listen to your dad, this is perfect. Joel, why don't you go take a shower too so we can all eat together?" Frank says.

Joel looks at you, then at Frank, then grunts in agreement and goes upstairs.

"Dad, is it bad that I... Think about him?" You ask, genuinely concerned. Frank turns the stove off and looks at you. "What do you think about him, love?"

You feel your cheeks on fire.

"I don't know." You respond, not wanting to welcome your dad on your daydreams. He comes towards you, cupping your cheeks loosely.

"My love, do you think about him like dad and I? You you think of doing to him what you see us do? Kissing, hugging?" He asks low, afraid somehow Bill could hear them.

"I do." You whisper, pushing yourself into his embrace, hugging him tight and snuggling your face on his chest. "I think about what kissing him would be like. What having his hands on me would feel like. What hugging him would feel like." You say, knowing well that you can't lie to your dad.

"Darling that's perfectly normal. Joel is a beautiful man, the only man you've seen besides me and dad." He waits for a response, but you have nothing to say.

"Just... There's a lot you don't know, okay? A lot we didn't think we had to tell you about. And your dad and I are just afraid someone might take advantage of that." He hugs you tighter, hoping Joel wouldn't be that someone.

🧰💖≈

After dinner, you help Bill with the dishes while he chats with Frank and Joel, who are still at the table. They're talking about construction, cars and resources, and you're just listening to them.

Then you all go to bed and you lock your door, just like your dad asked you to.

Before you could sleep, though, you let the man take over you again.

You insert two fingers inside you and circle your clit desperately, trying to just get some relief so you could go to sleep. Softly, you moan the man's name when you cum, and pray he couldn't listen to you.

Your water bottle was empty, and you had to go downstairs to refill it. "Fuck!" You said, if one of your dads saw you outside your bedroom, they would kill you.

But your throat was dry and you didn't want to grab water from your bathroom. So you had no choice.

You almost fell on top of Joel when you opened your door and found him standing right in front of you.

"What are you doing here?" Your voice high and scared.

"Thought I heard you call me, came to see if you needed my help for something." His voice low and heavy, like his words were thick and hard to let out.

"I wasn't calling you. I don't need help, I was just going to grab some water." You respond way too fast, barely taking breaks between your words.

"Hum, I could swear I heard your pretty voice call my name just a minute ago. Joel, Joel, Joel. Multiple times. Didn't know you did those things, baby." His expression is serious and dark, looking down as he towers over you.

He wasn't going to try anything. But since you were calling him...

Fuck.

"I... I wasn't calling you. I'm sorry, I have to get back to bed." You try to close the door, but he doesn't let you, easily keeping it open with his forearm.

"But you weren't sleeping, were you, baby?" He steps in, forcing you to walk back inside. "I'm sorry. I just... I… I saw you and you were looking at me and I… I shouldn't, you barely even spoke to me, I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

He closes the door behind him.

"Oh, I don't mind angel, I'm not mad at you. My name never sounded sweeter. But I can't sleep now. Not now that I've heard it." His arm snakes around your waist, and he pushes you close.

He connects his mouth to yours, and you finally learn what a kiss feels like. His beard makes you flinch at first, scratching and almost hurting the sensitive skin of your face.

You're used to your dads' beards when you kiss their cheeks, but Joel's feels different, it hurts in a way that makes you want to feel it even more.

You moan into it and your body softens under his embrace, your legs give in and you're only standing because he's holding you. Your hands grab his back and his hair, and you moan into his mouth when his tongue opens it's way into yours.

His arms hold you tight and squeeze you, his large hands hold you you firmly, and you feel like that's what was missing for you all along. To be in Joel Miller's arms.

He is intoxicating.

His perfume, woody and different from the ones your dads have, mixed with his natural essence make you dizzy. His strong arms hold you in a way you didn't know you needed to be held. His mouth explores you with such hunger, such passion, and you've only just met.

It makes you wonder what it would be like if he loved you, if he cared for you. How much more of this intensity you'd feel from him.

You deepen the kiss, exploring his mouth with hunger and curiosity, all while doing your best not to drown in saliva.

He breaks the kiss and goes to your jawline and neck, smelling, kissing and biting you, his beard scratching you deliciously, making you moan.

"You smell so good, baby, you're so soft. Been a long time since I saw a girl like you. All pretty and sweet for me like this." He says as he runs his hand through your hair, his rough fingers caressing your scalp, pulling your head back to make more room for his lips.

You feel something hard pressing on your lower belly and you pull away. "Wait, Joel. I think there's something in your pocket." He looks down and laughs, grinding himself on you.

"This, baby?" His voice low and breathy. You nod and he looks at you, his breath heavy, his brows furrowed, now showing more confusion than arousal.

He lets you go abruptly, looking puzzled at you, analyzing you. "How old are you?"

You frown.

"I don't know, actually." You respond.

"What? How… how do you not know?" He turns his head, even more confused.

It was confusing, you'll give him that.

"Well, my dad, Bill, found me on a road a few days after the outbreak. After FEDRA evacuated the town. He said I could walk and speak, but was still really small. So he thinks I was around 2 or 3." He looked at the roof and then at you, doing the math in his head. "So you're 23?"

You nod. "Yeah, probably."

He puts his hands on his hips, looking at you and at the door.

"And... How do you not know what this is?" He asks mentioning the tent on his pants.

Oh... Maybe because you've never seen a man other than your dads, and you've never fucked any of them. Maybe that's why?

"Well, you and Tess are really the first people I see that are not my dads, and, well, the people I knew before them. Y'know, not a lot of friends to have around here." You say moving your arms around, mentioning the empty town and all the emptiness surrounding it.

You get close to him, wrapping your arms around his neck, and talking close to his ear, your hands roaming all over his back and hair.

"But I know somethings. Things I listened in songs, read in books. Things I want you to teach me." You say, touching his crotch, his cock throbbing inside his jeans.

But he thinks about your dads again, about you, and how he'd kill the man who tried anything similar with his own daughter.

"Sorry, baby. I can't. Your dads didn't tell me this. They said they had people come over before, just never stay. I thought you maybe got with one or some of them."

"You're the first." You say, not fully aware of all the weight the sentence has.

"I can't be your first one." He says, making you furrow your brows.

He pushes you away, walking towards the door.

"Why not?" you ask.

"Because you don't know me, baby. You're young and you need someone who knows you, and who you know. Someone who'll take care of you like you need." He sounded serious and decided. His voice deep and just slightly above a whisper.

He was kinda into the idea of you being innocent and naive. But when you're this untouched, it feels too much for him.

"But I want you." You say, returning his whisper. "I've been thinking about you ever since you showed up. Sometimes I feel this burn, this ache between my legs, and I used to fix it by just touching it. But today when I did it, my mind kept going back to you." You confess, and he swallows hard, his Adam's apple moving slowly as he did.

You see his eyes wander back around your body, and his gaze get darker again. But as soon as it darkens, he sees your face and it softens.

He turns towards the door, walking towards it.

Noticing how your words affected him, you keep going.

"I was calling you, Joel. I was doing it because of you." His body stiffens and he stops, his hand on the door handle. He turns his head to look at you over his shoulder.

"Please." You say, your voice sincere and sweet.

He turns back around, looking at you like you were tearing him apart. "I'm sorry. Can't do this to you. I don't know if I know how to be gentle anymore, I don't want to hurt you."

"If it's not you then who is it gonna be? My dads trusted you enough to let you inside our house, to let you sleep here with us. That has to mean something." You say, and he moves his jaw from side to side.

He knows he can't, but you're right. Someone could do worse than him trying his best to be gentle.

"Baby, if I have you, I won't want anyone else to have you after. If I'm your first one, I'll be your only one." He said, getting close to you.

"I don't know if I'll want anyone else after you." You respond, walking close to him and caressing his hair with your fingers. "I know I don't regret my first kiss." You whisper, your face close to his, and his eyes go darker, staring into yours.

He was your first kiss too.

"Could've been more gentle?" He asks with an embarrassed smile.

"It was perfect." You respond with a smile.

He looked at your lips, his hand coming to cup your cheek. You snuggle your face onto his hand, enjoying the texture and warmth of it.

"But I mean it. I can't do it. Not right now." You whimper, and he gives you a faintly stern look, his fingers pulling your hair behind your ear.

"Told you. You don't know me. I'll be around for a few more days. We'll be patient and see how this goes." Your face must be the one of a lost puppy by the way he's looking at you.

"Just don't want you to regret it. Can't just sleep with the first man you ever see, princess." He says with s laugh. The nickname makes your knees weak.

He kisses your cheeks, both of them, and let's go of you, grabbing your water bottle. "I'll fill it for you. Don't want your dads seeing you downstairs."

After a few minutes he comes back, finding you sitting on your bed. He places the bottle on your nightstand.

"Sleep tight." He wishes, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" You ask, feeling vulnerable already being so clingy to the man.

He holds your chin, caressing your jaw.

"I'll be here for a whole while, angel. Promise I won't go anywhere before we talk about this, okay?" You nod, getting up to lock the door after him.

He gives you a little kiss on the cheek and leaves, and you go back to bed, letting anticipation bloom on you, feeling like you're gonna melt.

To think that he was indeed also thinking about you, that he wanted you the same way you wanted him, made you feel funny, like you're gonna scream.

It made you revisit all the times you caught his gaze, everytime you saw his eyes go from your body to your eyes when you looked at him.

How maybe he did the same in his bedroom, thinking about you the same way you thought about him.

Just picturing that makes you feel funny, and you smile to yourself. Feeling all special to be noticed by a man like him: strong and resourceful, the things your dads taught to be — and to look for.

Your dads were worried he would take advantage of you. But on his grand opportunity to do so, he said no and told you to go back to sleep.

And that just made you want him more.

🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖

Coming up: You convince Joel he's the right one to be your first, but how hard will it be?

🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖🧰💖

Did you like it? Hopefully yes, I loved writing this so much it hurts that it's finally out. I'm currently working on the part two 💖

More from me 💖

As always, feedback, comments, asks, requests, reblogs and likes are highly appreciated. I love reading your thoughts on my work 🫶🏻

Part two

[alexsoenomel]

Kiss The Girl (Joel Miller x Reader fluff)

Summary: A Friday night brought something sweet and unexpected. 

Warnings: reader is a smoker (because same), wine consumption, no use of (Y/N)

Word count: 1.7k

Note: I was indulging in my own scenarios and this happened. It is literally a self-insert fanfic about my favorite dilf because I needed comfort. Enjoy!

It would be a lie if you told yourself you didn't wish that he was your man. It would be a lie if you told your friends you didn't like anyone. There was someone – and that someone was living right across the street from you. That someone had a name – Joel. Joel Miller. His name would roll down your tongue like honey and would make your head turn every time someone would say it. His tall frame, broad shoulders, messy dark hair, and soft puppy-like eyes would make your eyes fixed on him and only him. There was something so captivating and hypnotizing about Joel getting into his truck every morning for work, you couldn't look away. You would sit on your porch, having your first cup of coffee in one hand, book in another, and with a cigarette between your lips, watching him between reading. Your roommates would usually sleep in, or be already on their way to the campus so mornings were perfect for processing your existence while also doing some reading in the morning sunlight.

The view was also nice; the view being soon to be a 35-year-old man with seemingly soft and kissable lips.

You would occasionally tutor his daughter, Sarah, mainly helping her with essays and assignments in English. Your heart would always beat a little bit faster whenever he would text you or call you to ask if you were available. Of course, even if you weren't available, you would clear your schedule because those few minutes of interaction with Joel were more important than whatever you planned to do that day. You knew you were desperate, but since no one knew how much, it was fine. His soft brown eyes scanning your delicate features and making your cheeks red were moments you would replay over and over again like a broken camera in your mind every night before bed, wondering if you had a chance with him. He didn't seem bothered by your presence like you were by his. He seemed to like chatting with you, listening to your every word but that wouldn't last long since he was always busy with something or had to go to work.

On a rainy Friday evening, your roommates decided to get completely smashed in the local club since finals week was over and you were finally free to breathe, but you were too tired and drained to join them. You were too tired to dance, too tired for small talk with random dudes who were desperate for sex, and too tired to be a designated driver, since your two friends liked to pretend to be Lords and chug alcohol like water.

You weren't tired of a cheap bottle of wine though, and a new book you bought a few months ago that has been collecting dust on the shelf above your bed. Also listening to the sound of rain pouring under the blanket in your favorite spot in the house that wasn't your bedroom

– the porch – was your way of having fun on that particular Friday night.

Since it was almost 10 pm, and your dimmed porch lights weren't enough, your little book lamp finally came in handy. You put a cigarette between your wine-stained lips, since cheap wine without nicotine wasn't wine, and lit it up. You inhaled the smoke, feeling the sour taste of alcohol slowly turn into an expensive Italian liquid gold – or so your taste buds thought it did. You were about to turn the page of your book when you heard the familiar sound of someone's truck. Joel Miller came back from work. You glanced at him across the street just as he was closing the door, inhaling another smoke, already feeling yourself getting nervous. Instead of staring and being a creep, you decided to focus on your book – if only you knew what happened in the previous line.

"Enjoying your Friday night?", you heard his voice from a distance.

You lifted your head to see your favorite dad approaching you. You swallowed nervously, taking a big sip from the wine bottle.

"Oh yeah," you said, wanting to sound proud. "How's work?"

"Same ol' same ol'," he answered you.

"Care to join?" You asked giving him the wine bottle. "Finals week is over and I'm celebrating."

You noticed through dimmed lights a small half smile on Joel's tired face. He took a bottle and sat on the chair next to you. "Was it successful?"

"Yeah, passed everything with overall good grades."

"Good girl."

Good girl.

You could feel your palms and legs under the blanket getting cold as your heart started running a damn marathon. His husky voice was smooth like a fine glass of old whiskey, and you were getting intoxicated. You took another smoke, before putting out the cigarette on the ashtray.

"Y'know that ain't healthy?" His eyes glanced at the ashtray before looking back at you.

You were in the process of lighting another cigarette. When nervous, you would become a chain smoker.

"My vice, I guess."

Joel took another sip of wine as you inhaled the smoke into the air. "What's yours, Joel?"

"My vice? I would rather not."

You knew he didn't like to share personal information so you let him be. It would be strange if he did.  

"What are you readin'?" He asked, looking at your book.

"Kiss the Girls by James Patterson."

"One of those romance books?"

"Not really," you chucked. "Thriller, someone is inducting beautiful talented girls all over the country."

Joel's eyebrows went up, not expecting that to come out of your mouth. "Interesting taste, darlin'," he said.

Darlin'

That one you heard before and it still made your body stiff as a statue from nervousness. You struggled to look him in the eyes; to try and see what was behind those beautiful brown orbs; to try and read him; even though that was almost impossible since Joel Miller was an old book full of dead metaphors. You desperately wanted to know if he would kiss you back if you dared to drunkenly place your lips on his. You wondered if he would cup your face while doing so…you wondered if he would lay in bed with you if you told him to stay.

"How's Sarah?" You asked, wanting to shake off the shyness that was slowly creeping in.

"Good, she got an A on her English essay, thanks to you."

You smirked remembering the deal you had made with Sarah. She noticed (kids always do), something was up with you since you would blush every time Joel would call you darlin'. She noticed you acting too friendly around her dad so naturally she decided to confront you about it.

"So, you like my dad, huh?" She asked you on a Wednesday while doing homework.

Your heart went in your throat when your ears registered her question.

"No, I don't." You lied.

"Yeah, darlin' you do. You're too obvious."

"Fuck!" Left your lips. You instantly regretted it.

"HA!"

"Please don't tell him!"

"I won't, but you have to write me this essay."

"Sarah!"

"I'm too lazy! Plus you don't want me to get an F and disappoint my dad, right?" She winked. Cheeky stunt she pulled.

"Fine!"

****

"I'm glad!" You told him. "She's a smart kid!" Yeah, she was alright…

The thing with Joel was certain parts of him were sealed shut, but only certain. He liked talking to you especially because you both shared the same love for music. He liked talking to you about your favorite songs, bands, historical music events, guitars… You knew he played guitar and you asked him numerous times if he wanted to play you a song; he would always decline. After a couple of tries, you stopped asking.

"You know, – you started, taking a sip of wine followed by cutting your life short by 7 minutes with a smoke – "I've always wanted to learn how to play guitar."

"Is that so?" You could see a half smile forming on his face before he took a sip.

"Yeah, but I never did. It was always something, school, homework, too broke to afford guitar lessons…too broke to afford a guitar."

"I can teach you if you want."

"That means you have to play in front of me, and you always say no to that."

"I can make an exception." His gaze was fixed on you and yours was on him. A pleasant science was lingering in the air as you both enjoyed each other's company. You were feeling tipsy while Joel was sober as a judge.

"That would be awesome." Alcohol in your system was giving you a warm hug, telling you to go for it, to say the unsaid, to do the forbidden. Your body was finally relaxed enough, but your mind was in a haze. You had a feeling you were going to do something stupid and you liked the idea of doing something stupid at that particular moment.

The undying need to know, to find out – it was simmering and about to explode.

You put out the cigarette, taking a deep breath, before leaning in and placing a kiss on his cheek. Joel froze for a second, not understanding what happened for a few seconds before his brain caught on. He gave you a soft look, admiring your courage before he returned the favor and kissed your drunken lips. It was a soft, gentle kiss just to make you wonder what it would be like to devour him whole. You wanted this little innocent pack to turn into something sinful – but it didn’t.

“A little bird told me your secret, honey.” He confessed.

“Of course she did,” You chuckled.

Joel’s fingers went in your hair, tucking one strand behind your ear. He found your red cheeks cute.

“You know, you’re obvious when you stare.”

“Stop lookin’ like that, and I won’t.”

Joel laughed. It had been a while since he did.

“DAD!” A voice yelled across the street. It was Sarah, standing in front of the front door of their house. “WHERE ARE YOU?!”

“COMIN’, BABY GIRL!” Joel yelled back and looked back at you.

“Go,” –You said – “And tell her I said thank you.”

“Will do!” Joel gave you a wink and left.

[amethystfairy1]

Hello hello I gots some questions if you don’t mind

So we know some hybrids from different sub species that are in relationships like Lizzie and Joel and doc and etho but I was wondering if there were any specific sub species that only stay with their own type of sub species? And if there is, do or would they ever give others who are from the same sub species as them a glare if they saw a person from their same sub species in a relationship with a hybrid or mutant of different sub species? Example: Joel and Lizzie, would any of the cat hybrids ever do a double take on her being married to a butterfly hybrid? (I know they probably wouldn’t but this was for the sake of an example)

Is there a number in mind for how many different types of sub species are living in the under city? Or would it be like trying to count each specific m&m in a large bowl? Is there too many sub species to count or would you use a broad number like for example 1000 to get your point across?

Are there other new types of sub species you have in mind but haven’t talked about yet? (Ignore this question if it’s a large spoiler LMAO)

Are there any other sub species that have a bad reputation? I’m aware that creeper hybrids are know to be intimidating and most avoid them (at least I’m pretty sure) but are there any hybrids or mutants that when people learn what sub species they are they immediately hate and or dislike them? If so why or how did they get such a bad reputation?

(I really hope my questions weren’t annoying I just really enjoy your work and I had some questions!))

(I also apologize if any of these questions have been asked before)

Hello, hello! I never ever mind questions, I absolutely love them! Thank you for sending them over! ☺️

Alrighty, let’s see what we’ve got! 🏃‍♀️

1. Not really, no, or at least, I never intend to explore that. I think the closest we might get are perhaps blaze-borns or warden mutants, both of whom are known for being very solitary and keeping to their own areas, not usually living in the main cavern, but I don’t think there would be any sort of dislike/unhappiness from anyone if someone of that subspecies dated/married outside of it. The under-city is big, yeah, but it’s not that big so it’s always been common practice for people to mix and match. It’s just been growing more common than ever thanks to how Doc and Etho’s work has been connecting the various levels of the city like never before!

2. I think the m&ms in a bowl allegory is the best…there’s a LOT of them, I don’t want to put any sort of number on it just for the sake of IRL reasons, which are that I do make up parts of this AU as I go along, and I’d hate to give myself some pre-determined boundary for how creative and crazy we can get with all of these hybrids/mutants…so let’s just say A LOT and leave it at that.

3. YES and that is ALL I WILL SAY 😆

4. I think ‘bad’ reputation is the wrong way of putting it. No one necessarily has an immediate hatred for another based solely on subspecies. I mean, Ren and Lizzie are friends! And they’re literally a dog and a cat! But there are other sorts of reputations that can carry with someone’s subspecies. There’s Doc, of course, who we know is a sweetheart and a gentle giant but people are afraid of him because he’s nearly seven feet tall and terrifying-looking, that’s not his fault, though…and the augmentations aren’t exactly helping. 😭 We will also be learning more about dog hybrid clans with Ren, the deep dark with Cub, and blaze-born pyres with Tango, so through that I hope to show a bit more nuance in the traits and tendencies of all these various subspecies, because it is quite a lot of fun!

They were not annoying! I PROMISE I WILL NEVER FIND QUESTIONS ANNOYING! You’re giving me an excuse to ramble about a thing that lives in my brain and forced itself out in the form of a fanfic series, I am delighted so if you ever have any more questions send another ask! I will be happy to answer! (unless it’s spoilers but then I’ll just say that) so yeah! I’ve been having so much fun with the blog and the asks and the posts and stuff! So thank you for coming by! 💖

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Better Than None

1200 words for 1200 followers #12

A/N: Hi friends! Welcome to the 12-A-Palooza! This event is my way of saying thank you for sticking with me. Your support and kindness toward me and my writing is out of this world and I’m grateful for every last one of you! This was the one that I posted that silly & fun vs. dark & gritty poll for, and I cannot tell you all how glad I was that the overwhelming majority went for the fun option. This one made me laugh to myself as I wrote it, and it was an absolute pleasure to write something so light for Joel. It goes back to a HC I posted about many moons ago, about Joel + video games, and is not connected to anything I have written for these characters, or anything I am currently planning. It is a true stand alone that's only purpose is to make you all warm and smiley, so I very much hope you all enjoy it!

Warnings: absolutely none aside from campy Mortal Kombat graphics & a terrible (but hopefully believable) made up finishing move.

Requested by: @jessahmewren Song: Kiss With A Fist Character Choice: Joel Miller - I went back and forth and back and forth and BACK and FORTH on this one, but I decided to be a little cheeky with the prompt instead of taking it literally ;)

Summary: Just a normal night at the Miller residence.

“Hey! Don’t-” 

A string of grunts and meaty thwacks interrupted your protests, blood splattering in the corners of the television screen. 

“Can’t what? Hm?” Joel asked, the barrage of attacks continuing without relent. “Can’t beat the sh-” 

It was your turn to cut his sentence short, a grin curving your lips to wipe the one off his face. Another round of frenzied blows landed, followed by more grunts. “Who’s beating the shit out of who now, Miller?” 

Before he could reply, another voice chimed in. “Um… Neither of you are beating the shit out of anything.” Ellie snorted. “I mean, look at the bars.” She pointed at the top of the screen where two long bars displayed your characters’ health. “They’re both still practically full. Your kicks aren’t even landing.” 

You laughed, shooting a look over your shoulder at the girl. “Well, you know, I thought I was coming over to watch The Breakfast Club, not to play a game I’ve never been good at.” 

Joel and Ellie had been in Jackson roughly two weeks when you were assigned to a patrol with him. You’d heard from others - Tommy included - that he could be gruff, standoffish. But either they were wrong or you were lucky, because he’d proven to be neither. Quiet, and clearly carrying heartache on those broad shoulders. But everyone did these days. Every newcomer who walked through those tall gates for the first time did so as a revenant of sorts, worn ragged by what the world had become. What they’d lost. What they’d done. You hadn’t forgotten what it was like to try to put your suffering to rest. 

It was clear that that was all Joel - and the girl he cared for as a daughter - were trying to do. 

So you’d matched his quiet. You hadn’t asked questions or tried to provide comfort. You hadn’t flirted  like you knew some women in town would do when paired up with a man as handsome as Joel. Four hours into your shift you were rewarded by his first attempt at small talk, pointing up at a cluster of stars.

“Think that one’s called Cygnus. It’s a bird. Maybe an eagle?” 

You glanced over to see him still looking up, starlight shining in his eyes, showing you strands of soft leather amongst the dark brown. Like that he hardly resembled the road-roughened wanderer he’d been when he arrived. It was that night that you met the true Joel Miller, that night that would stick in your mind and your heart as you continued to get to know him. 

“You like astronomy?” 

“Ellie does.” He shrugged. “Tryin’ to learn so I have somethin’ to talk to her about. Girl loves space. She’d live on the moon if she could.” 

His answer was simple and you found it sweet that he was trying to find common ground with her. It made you smile. “Who wouldn’t?” That earned you a small huff of laughter so you went on, raising your own pointer finger. “You were right about it being Cygnus, but it’s a swan. Aquila is the eagle, and that one should be…” Moving your hand across the sky, you located the other constellation. “Right over there.” 

Two days later you’d gone through the shelves of books you’d been collecting, finding the one you were searching for - The Idiot’s Guide to Space - and bringing it over to his house. He wasn’t home then, so you’d left it with a note. You’re not an idiot, but I thought this might help anyway.

That gesture had gone a long way with both Joel and Ellie, and before you knew it you had been accepted into their little family. The budding friendship between you had slowly turned to something more, until you found yourself invited to movie nights and dinners, falling asleep on his couch with his arm around you and your head on his shoulder. 

But Tommy and Joel had come across a working playstation with a small cache of games on their last rotation outside of town, so this month’s movie night had been swapped for a game night, you and Joel currently engaged in the first round of fights after a crash course in button smashing from Ellie. 

On the other couch, Tommy and Ellie watched, commenting on every misstep and failed attack.

“I thought you said you taught ‘em how to play this game, squirt.” Tommy gave Ellie’s elbow a bump and reached for a handful of popcorn, voice low as he spoke through a smirk. 

“Okay, one?” Ellie bumped him back and pulled the bowl into her lap. “Don’t call me that.” 

“Grow, then.” Tommy tossed a kernel into his mouth and chewed around a wink. 

Rolling her eyes, Ellie ignored him and continued. “And two, I tried to.” She stuffed a handful of popcorn into her mouth and used her salty hand to gesture at the couch where you and Joel sat. “It’s not my fault they still suck at it.” 

Tommy chuckled. “No, I guess it ain’t.” Narrowing his eyes, he watched as your character jabbed her fists through air. With a tilt of his head, he pointed at the television. “You get next and make quick work’a whichever one of ‘em winds up winnin’. Then you’n me’ll show ‘em how it’s really done.” 

“Please. I’m gonna kick your ass, old man.”

“Old? Who you callin’-” He reached into the bowl of popcorn to grab another small handful. Instead of eating this one, he tossed it at Ellie’s head, the girl responding with a scoff. “You’ll see, you little smartass.”

Her faux annoyance melted into laughter as she wrinkled her nose. “Austin’s a lucky kid. You’re gonna be a cool dad, Tommy.” 

Tommy blinked, mouth dropping open. He wasn’t expecting a genuine compliment, especially one that so readily put his worries to rest. If there was one thing he knew about his adopted niece though, it was that she didn’t mince her words when she was talking to people she trusted. 

“Take… that!” You broke the moment with a shout, jamming a random combination of buttons to unlock a finishing move. 

Your character delivered one of her signature lines - how ‘bout a kiss, loverboy? - and then as she locked lips with Joel’s fighter, brought both of her glowing, powered-up fists to his temples and punched, smashing his digital head between them. On screen, the word FATALITY flashed in big block letters, your character lifting both arms before the message changed and read GAME OVER.

“Did you just… punch kiss me? To death?” Joel blinked incredulously at you, the controller in his hands falling to his lap. 

Biting your lower lip, you laughed. “I did. A deadly kiss is better than none at all though, right?” 

With that he grabbed your controller from your hands and leaned in to press his lips to yours. “Good thing I don’t have to settle for that one then.” 

Once again the moment was broken from across the living room. “Uh, hello? Time to give up your controller, Joel.” He pulled back and gave the girl a faux glare that only made her snort out a laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll avenge you.”

.

.

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be added to or removed from the tag list, please feel free to let me know. You can also fill out the form on my Masterlist! :)

tags: @something-tofightfor @littlemisspascal @mishasminion360 @nyctophiliiiiaaa @practicalghost @amb11 @mindidjarin @jk7789 @tentacruels @harriedandharassed @joelmillerscoffee @woodlandmouth @thescarletfang @sleepylunarwolf @trickstersp8 @princessxkenobi @imtryingmybeskar @wildmoonflower @mswarriorbabe80 @theredwritingwitch @silverstarsandsuns @competentpotato @pedro-pedrito-pascalito @mumma-moonchild @jedi-in-crocs @hannahkatharine @anoverwhelmingdin @chiyo13 @myloveistoolittle @spishsstuff @noisynightmarepoetry

[transfemzedaph]

mezelean king joel but when hes younger and not yet king and he spends his days exploring in the woods and painting and drawing all the beautiful nature

one day he sees a wolf off in the distance as hes walking and he watches it - it didnt see him

he sees this same wolf a few more times and each time he studies it more, trying to remember every detail so he can be able to draw it

hes out in the forest in a small clearing, one of the sunnier places in the whole woods, drawing this wolf over and over, frustrated with how he can never quite get it right, he thinks its the eyes, every time he draws the eyes, they look wrong

hes so focused on the drawings that he doesnt notice that same wolf coming up behind him until he feels the warm breath on his neck

he drops the sketchbook and scrambles away but the wolf doesnt follow him, it just looks at the current drawing - unfinished - and sits

joel stares for a few moments at this weird behaviour from the wolf before retriving the sketchbook and drawing the wolf again, it ends up perfect this time - joel did always draw better with the subject in front of him - and the wolf plods over to see the final thing

from then on joel spends a lot more time in the forest, bringing food along with him, and some snacks to maybe give to the wolf

the wolf isnt there every day but joel doesnt mind, he feels safe in the forest now, he doesnt think anyone will hurt him

----

its months later when he encounters a man in the woods, he is tall and broad and for some reason, wearing sunglasses

joel gives the man a friendly smile before continuing on his way

joel ends up seeing the man quite often in the forest and he always offers a smile or a friendly wave, one day he decides to actually speak to the man

from then on joel has a new friend, ren he says his name is, he feels familiar to joel but he cant quite place him

joel notices the wolf is never there when he is spending the day with ren, sharing food and talking for hours, ren always steers clear of certain topics though - where he came from, where he lives, his family - joel doesnt push it though

the wolf is still as friendly as ever although it seems more tired and injured than it always used to be

months after getting to know ren, joel stumbles -literally- across him, his sunglasses are broken on the floor next to him and his shirt is in tatters and he is covered in wounds, his breathing is shallow and joel wishes the wolf was here to help

he carries him back to mezelea, thankfully he wasnt too far into the woods but its still hard going

its a little over a day before ren wakes and the healers inform him immediately, he rushes over to see him and winces at the sight of the bandages around him

joel reaches for rens hand as he sits beside him, telling him how worried he was and ren, turns his head to face him, opening his eyes slowly

joel freezes in the middle of his sentance at the sight, those eyes, he knew those eyes, he had spent countless hours agonising over how to draw those eyes

ren who was up until this point still only half awake realises what he just did and curses and frantically tries to explain himself

joel stands to leave and ren reaches out, hissing in pain at the movement and joel cant help but turn back to fret over him

joel tells him to leave it for now, that theyd talk about it when he was better

joel visits ren every day until he is better but its awkward and they mostly sit in silence before joel finds a reason to excuse himself

in the end ren comes to joels room as soon as he is allowed to leave, joel lets him in and ren sits on the bed, awkwardly looking anywhere but in joels eyes

joel walks over and sits down next to him, gently nudging him with his shoulder as he did so

and then ren just spills it all, how he had always spent most of his time as a wolf because it seemed easier than losing people again but then he saw joel and he drew him and treated him like a real friend so he wanted to try again, to be with people again but he didnt think itd get this far, he didnt think hed end up falling in love with him and then he didnt know what to do, because he saw how sad he was when the wolf wasnt around but he didnt really want to be the wolf as much anymore

joel stays silent until the end of the explamation but then- you fell in love with me? and ren who didnt realise he had said that gets all muddled up and doesnt know what to say but joel just kisses him anyway

[lonelyvomit]

Never really thought about Nikos shoulders. I guess I need to do some "research" now.

the entire fandom is so focused on Joel's broadness (and like I get it, Niko isn't as wide but he's also not as tall either) that I'm literally sitting here alone like

I'm fine. this is fine.

[redheadedrenagade]

Wicked Game

Chapter 3: White Winter Hymnal

Chapters 1 & 2 can be found here and here.

No warnings. This takes place one month after the second chapter. Hope you enjoy. :)

The town is bustling in a flurry of wintery solstice and chattering teeth. Snow had just started to fall lazily from the sky, blanketing the grass thinly. Charlotte looks out the window at the passersby anxiously, dying to finally be cleared of house arrest by Maria. She loves and appreciates her with her entire heart for keeping her sorry ass alive, and she knows that she wants to prepare something truly special for her this Christmas. Something that she can look at and hear the words “thank you, I love you” every time she sees it. There would be time for that soon enough, because today her plans consisted of something she’d have previously sworn she’d never miss: patrol.

Oh, god, I’m going to drive everyone crazy…

She has so much pent up energy, and far less fear than before her survival against death, (she was kind of a certified badass now, obviously), and all she can think about is having a bow in her hands again, hunting in the forest, eating at the mess hall, spending time with Ellie and Jo-

Nope. No. We’re not going there. 

She brushes the thought off like a snowflake and gently pulls on her coat, making sure Maria sees her being careful with her almost healed arm as she walks into the room.

“Well, you ready to face the outside world yet or what?” Maria smiles warmly at her and walks forward to embrace her in a warm hug.

“I wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for you. You…you really are the best leader,” Charlotte says and pulls back to hold Maria’s shoulders and look her in the eyes, “the best friend anyone could ask for. Now that I’m out of that bed I can get back to convincing you of that.” 

Maria’s blushes and waves her off, but not dismissively. She’d always been relentlessly modest about her leadership in Jackson. “I’m just doing what anyone else would. Now, listen, I know you’re excited to be back in action, but I need you to promise me that you won’t – “

“Maria, I promise I won’t put all your hard work to waste. You literally saved my life. Anything you say from here on out, I’m gonna’ do, no questions asked,” Charlotte assures her with a signature crooked grin, patting Maria’s shoulder.

Maria snorts loudly and walks to grab Charlotte’s bag with her essentials and hands it over to her. 

“You’ve never listened to anyone a day in your life, Char.”

Charlotte can’t hold back a loud laugh that instantly feels so good after such a painful month. “Okay, you have me there. But there are exceptions. Well, one exception,” she replies with a wink.

Maria escorts her out the door, already making dinner plans for this coming weekend after the mandatory optional but highly encouraged Christmas celebration, and Charlotte starts the half mile walk back to her tiny cabin. The cold, brisk air feels like heaven against her face, the crisp feeling of snowfall bringing her immense comfort. Winter had always been her favorite season, even now that it was admittedly much harder to handle since the world went to shit.

It was lunchtime in Jackson, so she didn’t run into anyone on the way, which she was secretly grateful for. As excited as she was to re-enter the world, she needed some time to just be home for a moment. She stops short when she sees a large figure sitting on her porch steps. Cautiously, she walks on and as she gets closer comes to the shocking realization that’s it’s Joel of all people.

She shoves the hand not holding onto one of her backpack straps into her jeans pocket, looking only at the ground until she gets to the porch, where she’s forced to confront him. He’s just as handsome as she remembers. His cheeks are tinged pink from the cold, and his black hair peppered with grays is slightly unkempt from the wind. His hands are clasped together, elbows resting on his knees.

And those eyes. 

How the fuck do you make me feel like this?

She manages to give him a quiet hello, nervously re-adjusting her backpack and letting her eyes fall to the ground.

“Hey. Heard that – Maria told me you were – just thought I’d come say, well, I’m glad you’re doin’ better, kiddo,” he manages to stutter out, and it makes her heart jump a beat at how…nervous? And unsure of himself he sounds.

“Oh! Well, yeah. Um, that’s – thank you. It’s really great to be out of that damn bed. Was going a little koo-koo for Cocoa puffs in there,” she replies, laughing nervously and kicking the ground lightly with the toe of her boot. When she looks up at him again, he has a bemused expression on his face that she can’t help but chuckle at. “What’re you smilin’ about, sir?”

He breathes out through his nose in a laugh and shakes his head a bit, giving her a subtle once-over from head to foot, then back again. Charlotte feels her stomach flutter and her face becomes suspiciously warm for a winter day.

“I forget that other people remember things from back then. Sometimes I even forget I’m not the only one alive that had a life of some kind before it happened,” he replies, his eyes not leaving hers and her eyes not leaving the half-smile on his face that she caused.

“I…well, yeah, I feel like that sometimes, too. It happened to the whole world but it still feels like no one understands, somehow. It’s weird,” she says, tucking a lock of long red hair behind her ear and lingering a moment too long on the past. Her face darkens as her own memories of horror and loss flash across the forefront of her mind before she can push them back.

He clears his throat a bit as if he understands what she’s thinking and pushes against his knees to stand up and walk down the steps to her. She feels her heart pounding annoyingly hard in her ribcage as he approaches. He always had a way of snapping her out of her thoughts.

He’s so tall. And damn, does he look amazing in that sweater. Oh, jesus, get ahold of yourself, woman!

“Listen. I – well, I ain’t never been a man who knows the right things to say, or when to say ‘em. Just wasn’t born gifted with words like you, I guess.” 

She opens her mouth to protest and tell him that she can’t articulate things for shit either, but he holds up a hand telling her he needs to say more. His expression is almost pained as he awkwardly struggles to share what’s on his mind.

“I didn’t act right. That night, when you…when we brought you back. I’ve been kickin’ myself over it and I just wanna’ set the record straight.”

She nods gently and for once, revels in not being the most nervous person between the two of them. He scratches the back of his head sheepishly before continuing.

“It ain’t just because of Ellie. Not just because you bein’ okay is what’s best for her. I’m very…glad, that – Charlotte, when we first saw you, I was sure you were just about gone. I thought we were too late, and I…”

Charlotte is starting to feel bad for him at this point and decides to end his misery. She lets her backpack slide down her arm onto the snowy earth and even as he looks at her with confusion, she leans into his broad chest and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him hard against her. This is her second thank you for that night.

For a moment he doesn’t even budge; just a solid wall of concrete Joel. But he quickly rights himself and lets his strong arms enclose around her, allowing his chin to rest against her shoulder. Her face is nestled into his neck, just like before, when the world was fading into darkness. In the back of her mind, she remembers one thing as she was fading that night, a low voice saying something to her, comforting and calm as a sunset.

Sweetheart.

She blushes fiercely into his sweater and pulls back a bit to smile up at him shyly with her lop-sided grin. Looking directly into his hazel eyes is liking staring into the sun, and she swallows thickly in her nervousness. He, however, seems calmer now, with his big hands now resting lightly at her waist from pulling back from their embrace. Then, he smiles back, and Charlotte feels a burst of warmth bloom inside her belly. She's thankful to have her hands on his shoulders to anchor her.

“I don’t regret any of it. I’d do it all again if I had to,” Charlotte says, her voice soft and sincere as she struggles to maintain eye contact. Her face feels like it's on fire. He chuckles then and takes a step back, and she immediately misses the warm presence of his body against hers.

“I’ll make sure it won’t come to that, darlin’.”

She feels a pang of something in her heart that feels completely foreign and somehow as natural as breathing. The same feeling she felt when he called her sweetheart. 

People who are just friends don’t usually say things like this…do they? 

Before she can think too deeply on it, a youthful voice all but bellows her name. She knows instantly who it is and turns around just in time to have Ellie barreling into her chest, hugging her so hard she might’ve broken a rib, and Charlotte laughs joyously despite the pain.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were out today?! And you went to see Joel first? Like, c’mon, dude, I'm way more important,” she declares with passion, and it makes Charlotte smile even harder and hold her closer yet.

“Wanted to surprise you. Thought we could walk to patrol together in a bit. God, I missed you, girl!” Charlotte exclaims, swaying them side to side and enjoying every second of having the girl in her arms, safe and happy.

“She didn’t come to see me. I, uh, I had something I needed to talk to her about. An’ now I have, so I’ll let you two be. Ellie, careful of her wounds, your bein’ too rough,” says Joel, shaking his head slightly but he grins, nonetheless. Ellie finally parts from Charlotte to narrow her eyes at him suspiciously, a hint of mischief in her expression.

“Yeah, it sure looked like you were doing a lot of talking with all that hugging you two were doing.”

Oh my god, Ellie. If I didn’t love you so much, I’d strangle you!

Much to Charlotte’s surprise, Joel’s smile widens as he opens his arms to Ellie, advancing on her quickly, “Yep, and now it’s your turn, kid. No need to be jealous.”

Ellie shrieks and tries to escape, but he’s too quick as he grabs her around the middle with her back to his chest, and Charlotte can’t help but burst into laughter at the tiny girl kicking her legs in the air as he spins her around. Joel’s rich laughter fills the air amidst Ellie’s slew of curse words, but when he puts her down, her cheeks are tinged pink and she’s got a big, toothy smile on her face.

“Such a jerk!” She fake pouts and punches him lightly in the shoulder.

“That’s my job,” he replies with a wink, and Charlotte can’t help admiring the relationship and love between the two of them. She wonders if she’ll ever have something like that of her own one day.

“Well, I’ll see you ladies later. Have to go help set things up for that damn Christmas party next week,” Joel sighs, rubbing his forehead in an annoyed fashion before turning to leave.

“C’mon, where’s your holiday spirit Joel? There isn’t anything you like about Christmastime?” Charlotte enquires, eyebrows raised in surprise.

How can someone not like Christmas? That’s like not liking puppies…or chocolate…

He looks at Ellie with a soft expression, and then his eyes flicker back to Charlotte’s. She feels an electric current rushing through her veins as his expression subtly changes as he studies her face, and his eyes hold something very different within them than just moments before. 

Joel turns back to look at her and pauses, his expression neutral and unreadable. He then crosses his arms with a wry smile forming on his lips.

“Well, I guess there’s a couple things that ain’t too bad about it.”

Then, as if nothing had transpired at all, he breathes a small laugh out of his nose and takes his leave. Charlotte stands rooted to the spot, feeling like she’s just been wacked against the head with a frying pan. Her heart is still stuttering at the memory of that look in his eyes.

That look he gave me. 

Charlotte huffs out a laugh and shakes her head incredulously before picking up her backpack and slinging it over her shoulder. She looks down at Ellie and sees that she’s looking up at her with an eyebrow raised and a slightly smug expression on her face. Charlotte shoves her lightly and can’t help but chuckle as they make their way into her cabin.

Ellie snorts loudly and elbows her in the side, bringing her swiftly back to reality.

“What the hell was that all about?”

“Honestly, Ells? I have no fuckin’ clue.”

[captain-mcdavid]

(pt.1) (pt.2) (pt.3)

smut: yes | no

word count: 5.1k

warnings: smut, swearing, angst, unprotected sex, *age difference (disclaimer: this is fiction, i am in no way suggesting that these are colton’s preferences. if you are uncomfortable with a slight age difference, the one in this story is six years, then this is probably not a good piece for you.)

The hours after Colton left were mostly a blur.

You were so overwhelmed with emotions that the only thing that felt rational was hopping on a plane. 

When you showed up with bags messily packed at midnight, the next flight out was at 10:45. There was plenty of time for Colton to realize you were gone and come after you, but you knew he wouldn’t. Not after how things ended. There was also plenty of time for you to leave and go back, but the only thing about eleven hours in an airport... It gives you lot of time to think. It was basically eleven hours for you to dwell on the fact that Colton tried to replace you. By hour one you were upset. Hour two you were mad. Hour three, you were infuriated. And there aren’t enough synonyms for angry to get through the other eight hours. You were so angry you started to calculate time, how many hours you were here, how many hours since you’ve eaten, how many hours since you’d slept, anything to take your mind off of him. 

You were so mad you couldn’t even begin to think about his side of things. 

Which is why you got on the three hour plane ride home, and why you’re getting into a cab at the Edmonton airport. Three hours was enough for you to convince yourself that it was for the best, it would have ended anyway. 

Fourteen hours later, you’re still calculating time, you haven’t slept, and you’re so emotionally exhausted that you can’t even be bothered to take off your coat or clothes when you walk through your front door.

It’s about 5 in the evening when you fall asleep for the first time in forty eight hours, and when you’re woken up by Lauren storming into your apartment it doesn’t feel like you’ve gathered enough rest for what’s about to come.You almost forgot that you texted her before you left. 

“What time is it?” Wiping your eyes you speak with a groggy voice. 

“Ten thirty,” She says shortly, opening the curtains to let in the light behind them. “What the hell are you doing here?” 

You shrug at her and she rolls her eyes. “This is what was always going to happen, we weren’t gonna work out right? So it’s done. For real this time.”

She scans your body sprawled out on the couch, while you rub your temples to soothe the aching in your head. Stalking to the end of the couch where your feet are, she yanks off one of your boots, and then the other before saying, “You’re a fucking idiot.”

The clear mad tone to her voice is like a trigger for you, and you shut your eyes tight, because you know that all fourteen hours of built up anger are gonna come out of you at once. Before you can stammer out a response she’s talking again. “No, don’t. You need some tough love right now. I thought you’d figure this out on your own but obviously you’re so dense that you can’t.”

She swipes your legs off the couch and you sit up, trying not to look at her. 

“You’re self sabotaging.” She states firmly. “Stop it.”

“I’m self sabotaging because it’s never going to work out, Lauren!” You’ve never actually yelled at her before, but there’s a first time for everything. “I don’t need to hear another speech about how I’m the one walking away all the time because I know that now, but I was just doing the inevitable!”

“You don’t know that!” Lauren fights back, raising her voice just as much. “You won’t even try for more than five fucking days cause you’re so scared of being rejected again!”

“And what that’s not a rational fear? Are you sure about that cause the second he left Edmonton last season he found a replacement who looked exactly like me, only thing is, she was his age!”

Her eyes soften when you tell her, and just like that you’re back to tears again. They’re angry tears though now, and you’re not ready to stop yelling it. It feels good to get it all out. “Don’t tell me that I’m stupid for being scared of what would have eventually happened, because he would have realized soon enough that six years was too much, and I would have been brokenhearted again.” You finish, getting to your feet to walk away, but Lauren stands.

“It is an irrational fear. And you’re so blinded by it that you can’t see that he is so fucking in love with you!”

“Oh my god! I’m not gonna do this again,” You’re trying to walk away but Lauren grabs your wrist and pulls you back.

“If you won’t listen to him, listen to me.” It’s a plea, her voice has quieted significantly, and you don’t want to hear it but you know she won’t leave until you do. “Listen to me.” She says again.

You pull your wrist from her grasp, folding your arms over your chest, waiting for her to continue. 

“Your replacement? This girl that you’re so hung up on? Where is she now?” Lauren asks, and you furrow your eyebrows. “No idea, right?” She continues, “Exactly, she’s gone because even though she looked just like you and she was his age and all that bullshit, she wasn’t you. You’re so butt hurt by him trying to move on that you’re forgetting that he didn’t actually move on. He came back to you.” 

Lauren is literally out of breath from her rant, and you look on stunned. You’d be lying if you said that her words weren’t hitting home. 

“He has come back to you so many times.”

Especially those ones. 

“I have one more question okay? One more. Then you can make your final decision.” She speaks softly and you’re not sure if you’re ready for what’s coming?

“It’s a six year difference, and people will tell you it’s wrong, but has it ever felt wrong?”

You find yourself shaking your head immediately, and Lauren smiles a sad smile. “I’ve been rooting for you guys from the start, and now you need to start too. Fight for what’s right.” She finishes with a chuckle at her cheesy comment and for the first time in you’re not even sure how many hours, you smile too. 

“I’m a fucking idiot aren’t I?”

“Oh totally.” She laughs, “We could have had this argument over the phone, because you’re about to get on another plane.”

You lift your hand to your forehead with a sigh, “I’m getting on another plane,”

“You’re getting on another plane!” Lauren yells again, making you laugh. “Go take a shower and get your shit together, I’ll book you a flight.” 

This time you didn’t actually have to wait at all, Lauren practically yanked you out of the shower, yelling about a flight leaving in an hour and a half. When you touch down in St Louis it’s 3:30 their time, and it’s been 36 hours since you left, and you’re still calculating time for some stupid reason. 

You haven’t even thought about what you’re going to say to him when you see him, and the closer you get to his house, the more nervous you feel. The underlying fear of rejection is still there no matter how confident you go into this.

When he said he was done, he might have meant it in a way that you can’t change. But you’re the one who needs to take strides to keep him in your life now, and you know you can’t let the fear of heartbreak stop you from trying. 

When you walk into the lobby of his building, suitcase strolling behind you, the last person you expect to see is yourself...

She’s about three inches taller than you, her shoulders a little bit more broad, but she’s most definitely the twenty five year old you... Your faces aren’t identical, but she looks like she could be your sister for sure. 

The wind feels like it’s been knocked out of you, and you can only stare while she sits on the couches, scrolling through something on her phone. 

Your mind goes so blank that you can’t even feel your limbs as they turn you right around and bullet you towards the doors. There’s someone coming towards you but you’re so unfocused on what you’re doing that you don’t even look at who it is until they’ve grabbed your upper arm. 

Your neck cranes up to see the tall man that’s stopped you. He looks at you and then back towards where twenty five year old you was sitting. It takes him about point five of a second to realize what’s just happened before he’s stepping in front of you, blocking your way out completely. 

“Joel,” You say weakly, your head getting a little less foggy. “I need to go,” Tears are already starting to slide down your cheeks and you really don’t want him to see this. 

“I know how this looks, okay?” He starts, “But nothing happened.” 

You scoff, trying to move past him, but he bends down to make eye contact, “Y/N, if you were going up there to do what we’re all hoping you are, you can’t let this stop you,” 

“It looks like he went for her right after I left, again.” You cry, throwing a hand up. 

“He was hurt, you left and he was hurt so yeah he phoned her, and then he got drunk off his ass and passed out. I promise you, nothing happened. I was just up there and he could barely even put his suit on without having three shots of espresso. He’s so hungover, the amount he drank? He would have been debilitated last night, nothing could have happened, and it was all whiskey so he probably couldn’t even get it-”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” You interrupt, hoping he won’t go any further. 

“Yeah? Maybe, I don’t know, it’s supposed to stop you from leaving again.” He says. You study his eyes and it warms your heart that he actually looks so genuinely scared for his teammate.

“Is he okay?” You watch Joel’s face when you ask, and that’s enough to tell you it was a stupid question. 

“No,” He says. “Not at all.” 

You pause, just looking at him, trying to figure out what’s going through your head because everything feels so strange. 

“Just at least go up and talk to him, we have to leave soon, but he’s still up there.”

He looks at you expectingly, and you realize he’s not gonna leave until you agree, so you nod. He gives you a small smile before he turns and walks out of the building. 

You watch him leave and you think about calling Lauren, but you know exactly what she’ll tell you to do, so you decide to skip the conversation and trust Joel. He said nothing happened. 

You turn around and you feel deflated all over again when you see that she’s still there. You don’t have much time but you’re unable to stop yourself from sitting down across from her. Her eyes catch on you and she gives a small smile before looking back down at her phone. 

You can’t imagine how you must look right now, because you literally can’t take your eyes off her. You’re blatantly staring, and she’s definitely starting to notice. Her line of sight flashes quickly back and forth between you, the creepy staring stranger, and her phone.  

“Uber’s take forever sometimes,” She says with a uncomfortable chuckle. It’s clear that she’s trying to make the situation less awkward, so you try too, responding with a nod and a smile. 

Your gaze shifts to your feet and you realize how dumb you are for doing this. You want answers from her, but you can’t exactly say, “Hey, did you sleep with my sort of boyfriend last night?” Her eyes are trained on you now while you shift uncomfortably. 

You shake your head, getting ready to stand up when she speaks again. 

“You’re her aren’t you?” 

You’re not totally sure how to answer, so you just raise your eyebrows. 

“We do look alike, wow. I was really hoping you weren’t prettier than me, but you are. Damn.” She shoves her phone in her purse as she sizes you up, and even next to Colton you’ve never felt smaller. “You want to know if I slept with him right?” 

Well, she definitely wasn’t you personality wise...

You’re totally shocked into silence, so you just look at your feet, not sure if you should answer that or not. 

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m really tempted to tell you that I did just because I feel threatened...” Your heart nearly stops and you look back up at her. 

“But Colton is literally the nicest guy I’ve ever met, and he deserves to be happy, so I’m not gonna ruin that for him. Nothing happened last night.” 

You lift a hand to your face to swipe away the single tear that rolls own your cheek. You feel so relieved that you could sprint for the elevator right now. 

“He loves you a lot,” She gives you a gentle smile and you smile back. “I thought I was coming over to get laid but I spent the entire night listening to him talk about you.” She laughs and rolls her eyes at the same time, and you literally think you feel your heart clench. “I really wish he felt that way about me, but after all of that-” She motions backwards with an blown out look on her face and you laugh. “It’s clear that he won’t, you guys have something special. An age gap doesn’t change that.”

“Thank you,” You whisper, standing up. You think she’s done so you start to walk away, but she speaks again. 

“You know you’re a lucky girl...” Her eyes flicker downward and you furrow your eyebrows. “To be loved by someone like him. He’s amazing.”

You can see in her eyes that she has real feelings for him too, and even though you know it’d be super weird, you feel the urge to go back and give her a hug. But you have the feeling that’d be a little out of bounds so you just smile and say, “I am. Really lucky.”

The elevator doesn’t seem fast enough, so you opt for the stairs, going as fast as your legs will let you. You do the awkward walk jog down his hall as you pass people, all of them give you weird looks, but you can’t be bothered to care.

You shove the key he gave you into the door, swinging it open with way more force than needed while you shout, “Colton?” 

But there’s no response. 

You wander aimlessly around the house, hoping he’s somewhere and he just didn’t hear you, but it’s obvious that he’s not here anymore. You missed him. 

He must have been in the elevator while you were going up the stairs, and it literally feels like such a blow, because wow, what are the odds of that happening?

You don’t want to wait to see him, but you know you’re going to have to, so you make yourself some supper and watch some reruns of friends. The time before his game goes by so slowly, and once you finally see him on the ice, the minutes go by a little faster. 

He’s not playing well, his minutes are significantly lower than usual, and every time he steps out onto the ice he looks slow, and tired. You know him well enough to know that this will make him angry. You weren’t expecting him to come home happy but you weren’t thinking he would be mad either. 

When the game is done, you’re trying to think over what you’re gonna say, but at some point, you end up passed out on the couch. 

When you wake up there’s a blanket on you that wasn’t there before, and you can’t even pin point when you fell asleep but obviously you did. Colton’s suit jacket is laid over the back of the chair across the room, and his shoes are by the front door. The excitement you feel knowing he’s home makes you scramble off the couch, searching the rooms to find out where he is. 

When you step into his room and hear the shower running, you debate waiting again, but you decide you’ve waited long enough. At least those are your thoughts until all your clothes are off. 

Now you just feel nervous, and you end up counting to three four times over before you finally have the guts to open the door, and now your legs are shaking as you wobble towards his figure behind the curtain.

It’s pathetic really, how afraid you are of admitting that this is your fault. You don’t know why blame is such a hard thing for you to own, but it just is.

He must have heard you already cause he doesn’t startle when you pull back the curtain. He’s facing you, hands rubbing through his hair. He only meets your eyes for a moment before his gaze drops to his feet. You lift a leg over the barrier, your tail between your legs. It’s impossible to tell what his reaction to your touch will be right now, but you try anyway, gliding your hands up his chest and up to his collarbones. He looks at you again, and you stare back, trying to gain back the courage you had a few minutes ago, but all you can see is the anger and sadness in his eyes, and it breaks you all over again. Tears are slipping out now, of course, and you’re frozen in the moment, unable to speak.

Colton’s line of sight drops a little lower, pausing at your mouth. You’re not sure why, or what he’s thinking, but it’s probably not the same thing that you are. You hesitate for a second before standing on your tip toes to press your lips to his.

This isn’t what you came here to do, and this isn’t going to make anything better, but you just need some type of comfort from him even though you don’t exactly deserve it. 

Kissing him usually makes all your problems go away. His affections help you forget everything wrong with your relationship, you’re hoping for that again but you realize you’re not going to get it when Colton’s hands land on your hips. You know what he’s about to do, and everything inside of you hurts. He’s pushing you away. Physically but it feels emotional too.

You try your best to hang on, to keep yourself close to him but he’s too strong, and you give up, sobbing when you land back on flat feet. With a last attempt your hands scramble down to keep his touch on your waist. You hold his hands there, looking down as the water soaks your hair.

You have to own up to this.

That’s the only way you’re going to keep him.

When you feel like you’ve gained back the ability to speak, the first words that make it out are, “I’m sorry,”

You don’t expect him to say anything, but you still pause for a second before continuing.

“I want you in my life,” More tears. Fuck, of course there’s more tears. “I want you in my life so badly, but I’ve been so afraid of rejection. And I know that it’s been me leaving, I realize that now and I’m sorry I blamed this on you.”

He’s finally looking back at you again, and for a second you think that maybe that will be enough. Maybe you won’t have to bare your entire soul, but when there’s nothing once again on his end you know you have to keep going. You’ve completely forgotten everything you had rehearsed, so you’re just gonna have to wing it. 

“It’s been 48 hours since I last saw you,” You start, and his eyebrows furrow. Really? That’s what you’ve come up with all of the sudden? More time calculations? “When I left, I needed eleven hours to fully convince myself that leaving you was the right idea. And I needed three hours to convince myself that it was for the best. But I didn’t even need one hour to convince myself to come back.” 

This is so off topic, and it sounds so ridiculous, so you try your best to reel it in. “God, this sounds so stupid.” You mumble, lifting a hand to swipe your tears away. 

Colton lifts his hand from under yours and interlocks your fingers, and that’s all you need to keep going. 

“What I’m trying to say is, I didn’t ever think I would meet the love of my life at nineteen years old. I didn’t think I would fall in love with you at a fucking beer pong table right when I looked at you. It all happened so fast, and I didn’t expect any of it. And I sure as hell didn’t expect to love you as much as I do now.”

You’re crying so much that you can’t even look at him anymore, dropping your head you continue, tangling your hands together and picking at your nails. “The first time, when you told me this wouldn’t work, I was absolutely destroyed, because after knowing you for just one month I knew I would never love another person like I loved you. The pain I felt after that was indescribable. And every time since then, I’ve pushed you away because of it. I’ve walked out on you because I didn’t want you to walk out on me first, and I’m sorry. I was so scared of rejection that I couldn’t see what you were trying to do when you brought me here. I thought that I was protecting my heart, because I felt like you were eventually going to realize that six years was too much, but it’s not. Six years is nothing compared to how much I love you, and I’m not going to let others decide that we’re wrong because we’re not, everything about this, about us, is right, and I’m just so fucking sorry,” Your sobbing is probably prohibiting your speech at this point, but you try to choke out the rest while you’re on a roll. “I know my faults now, and I’m not gonna leave again unless you tell me to,”

He’s silent still, while you stare at the ground, and it feels like forever has passed before he crooks his index finger under your chin, gently pulling your head up. 

“I love you.” He whispers, “More than anything.” Then he presses his lips to yours and it’s like everything falls back into place. He pulls your body against his and you’re finally allowing yourself to feel how right everything between the two of you is. He feels like everything to you and you swear your heart is actually bursting inside of you. 

He pulls back, but keeps you close, closing his eyes while he rests his forehead on yours. “I’m sorry too.” 

“Don’t Colton-” You start but he stops you.

“No, I am. I’m sorry for what I put you through. And I’m sorry for everything today that happened with Joel, I’m sorry that I called her. That I ever even met her. I shouldn’t have done that. Fuck, it was unfair to her. I’m so in love with you there was no room for anything else. You’re it. You’re all there is for me.”

“I don’t wanna hear anymore apologies.” You sigh, placing a small kiss to his lips. 

“I don’t wanna see you walk out that door ever again.” He lifts you up to wrap your legs around his waist and you smile, pushing his hair back. 

You lean in for one more kiss before whispering against his lips, “Never ever.”

He kisses you back, harder his time and you run your hands through his hair arching your back to get even closer to him. He turns to press you against the wall and you can’t help but smile, cause you know exactly where this is going. 

It takes you by surprise though when he flings back the shower curtain, turning off the water before walking you out of the bathroom. 

“Colton, we’re soaked!” You squeal, but his lips just trail down your neck. His kiss is about to make you forget that you’re dripping all over the floor, but then you’re being launched into the air. 

You suck in a breath when you land on the bed, eyes locking on Colton as he hovers over you. He kisses you again and you let him, before turning your head. “How are we supposed to sleep here? The bed is gonna be all wet,” 

“There’s a guest room,” He murmurs, nibbling on your ear. 

“We’re gonna get towels before we bang in that one right?” You laugh, but it mixes with a moan when his free hand grazes your nipple. 

“Okay, I like where your head is it, with round two in the guest room-” He starts with a grin, “And yes we’re gonna get towels, but can you just shut up and let me kiss you?” 

You nod, connecting your lips while he reaches down to hook his hand underneath your knee, he pushes up while he slides down, his lips following his movements down your body. 

He places a delicate kiss on your mound before licking firmly up your slit, stopping to circle his tongue around your clit. He sucks hard, pushing your other leg up to spread you wider. He licks into your entrance and you arch off the bed with an inhumane noise, grabbing at his arm. He lifts onto his elbow, licking back up at your clit while he teases your entrance with one of his fingers. He pushes it slowly in and your grip on his other hand gets tighter.

“Colton,” You moan out and he groans against you. “I need you inside me,”

He slides his finger out of you and sucks it into his mouth before scaling back up the bed to hover over you. You start to roll onto your side, knowing he likes taking you from the back but he pushes you back over easily, shaking his head. 

“Not yet,” He whispers, sliding his forearms under the backs of your shoulders. You wind your arms around him and then he slides in slowly, groaning when he bottoms out. He stays like that for a minute, eyes clenched shut while he waits for you to get used to him. You lift up slightly to press your lips to his and he sighs, breathing into your mouth. 

“I love you so much,” He whispers, kissing you gently. 

“I love you,” You repeat, stammering slightly when he rolls his hips against yours. He keeps his mouth on yours while he rocks into you, licking into your mouth.

He disconnects and raises up a bit, sliding an arm out from underneath you to reach down to where your connected. “You’re absolutely stunning,” He breathes, rubbing at your clit. You arch off the bed and he groans watching you, loving the way you feel clenched around him. “Here, baby.” He pulls out and you can’t help but whine while he guides you to roll over. 

You get up onto your knees and elbows, and he pushes your leg further out to spread you more for him. He pushes into your from behind and you cry out at how good the different angle feels. He rocks into you a few times before his hands travel up, resting on your rib cage to pull you off your elbows until your resting against his chest. He swipes your hair off your shoulder and you crane your neck around to kiss him quickly. 

His lips slide down to your neck and collarbone where he gently bites the skin. You moan, your head lulling back to rest against his shoulder when his hands grip at your breasts. One stays there, and he rolls your nipple in between his fingers while his other hand falls down to rub at your clit. 

“Colton,” You cry, jerking against him when you grazes your g spot. 

“I’m right here, baby.” He coaxes, rocking into you again. He hits the spot again and your head falls forward but he holds you still against him, rubbing harder at your clit to get you there. 

“Colton, I’m so close,” You whisper, grabbing onto his forearm. 

“Come on, sweetheart, let go,” His lips slide up and down your shoulder and your breathing gets heavier as he carries you closer and closer to your orgasm. 

He’s rocking into you faster and you can tell he’s getting close too. One last roll of his rips has him pressing into your g spot, and you’re over the edge just like that, jerking against him when he rubs at your oversensitive clit. You clench around him and he growls deep in his chest, cock twitching inside you before you feel his warmth spreading. 

He holds you still against him so you don’t fall flat on your face, gently leading your body down to the mattress. He slips out of you and you roll over, giving him a lazy smile while he folds in beside you. “Fuck, I love you.” He whispers.

“You’ve said that a few times,” You grin. “But I love you too.”

“Stay with me,” He whispers, his grip on your waist getting tighter. You look back and up at him when you answer so he knows that you mean it. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” 

Then he kisses you hard, and your heart clenches in your chest, warmth exploding everywhere in your body. 

You slide out of the bed with a smirk and he sits up on his elbow, furrowing his brows with a grin. 

“I’m not going anywhere expect the guestroom, cause that bed is cold and wet. You’re welcome to come,” Backing out of the room Colton laughs, getting out of the soaked sheets. 

“You’re welcome to cum, cause I’m gonna eat mine out of you.” 

“Jesus christ!” You stammer, not expecting those words to come out of polite Colton’s mouth. “Where did that come from?”

He laughs and lifts you slightly to set you on the bed. “We’ve got a lot to learn about each other still,” He pauses to kiss you before continuing. 

“And there’s lots more where that came from.”

[dolcenco]

Nothing Happened

Request: Hi bb I LOVE your writing!! 😩❤️ Prompt 1: 37 with 22 from 50 Ways to say I love you, Joel Smut pls! I don’t know if i did it right 😅 @prettyboypimentel

Joel Pimentel x Reader

Warning/s: Sinful smut (literally); cheating

Prompt 1: “Can I kiss you?”

Prompt 2: Listening to them while they vent.

S/N: The Joel entry for the valentine request is up, everybody! I was supposed to post this yesterday but upon hearing pretend it gave me a new vibe and i just had to re-write this!!! Hope you liked this babe and belated happy valentines day <3 

Disclaimer: Do not, I repeat do not resolve or relieve your anger and/or conflicts towards your boyfriend or s/o this way. I’ve been cheated on before and it broke me and I don’t want anyone to go through what I did. The story is purely inspired by pretend :((

Lastly, this is purely fiction. The actions of Chris and Joel in this fic does not reflect the boys we know and love. 

-

“How can you even fucking forget that it was valentines?!” You hissed at your boyfriend.

He groaned loudly in frustration his patience wearing thin as he paces in the middle of your hotel room, “Lo siento, okay, fuck how many times do I have to tell you!” he fumed.

You glared at Christopher, burning holes through his thick skull.

It was valentines day and you were planning to spend an intimate night with your boyfriend after their show. Rose petals scattered across the bed, chilled red wine on the side and in his favourite lacy underwear on you. You both agreed to meet here at the hotel by 10:00 PM to spend the valentines evening and waited for him until 1:00 AM. He never came until he arrives at your hotel room stumbling in tipsy at 2:00 AM, reeking with the smell of alcohol. Completely forgetting about the valentines date, forgetting about you.

“I prepared everything and even texted you! How can you fucking forget!” You roared.

Christopher was done. “You know what, I can’t fucking deal with this shit” He growls, leaving the hotel room slamming the door behind you.

You cursed loudly, running your hand through your hair in frustration. You sat on the floor of your hotel room, burrying your face in your hands and sighed loudly in attempt to relieve yourself some of the anger in you. It was the worst valentines ever.

Moments later, there was a knock on the door. You wiped a few tears from your eyes before walking over to answer. You were about to yell at the person thinking it was Chris, but surprised to find Joel instead.

You were stunned because of two things: First, what was he doing knocking on your hotel room at 2:00 AM and second, why does he look so hot. He was leaning against the door frame and was sweating as if he just finished working out. He was wearing a black shirt, sleeved folded to his shoulders, accentuating his muscular biceps. 

His eyebrows shot up, eyes wide when you greeted him in just your underwear. At this point, you didn’t care.

“Oh, Joel. It’s you.” You snapped, turning around to pour yourself a glass of wine. “Come in.”

“Uh, is Chris here?” He steps inside, taking a seat on the edge of your bed. Fury starts to bubble inside of you again at the mention of your boyfriend’s name.

“Does he it look like he’s here” you snapped, taking a sip from your glass your back still facing Joel.

Joel was taken a back by your sudden sass. “Woah, you okay?” he asks cautiously. You finally turn to face him as you swirl the glass in your hand.

“My boyfriend blew me off for valentines by completely forgetting that we had a date but other than that, everything is splendid.” You snapped, flashing him a tight sarcastic smile. “How about you, Pimentel?”

He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, “Oh shit, I-I didn’t know…” He says, getting distracted at the sight of you in your underwear.

With a sigh, you couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Your friend is unbelievable!” You bursted as a stream of rants escape your lips.

He gulps, as he watches you rant attempting to push the dirty thoughts to the back of his mind. Christopher was right. You were hot as fuck when you were mad. Joel was thankful that he was wearing baggy tracks to hide his growing boner.

He coughed awkwardly while you ranted before he interrupts you. “Uh, (y/n), do you mind wearing some clothes on.” He croaks out, trying not to look at you because his boner started to ache.

You glared at him, putting down your glass of wine and stepped closer to him. You hated being told what to do. Fury was still coursing through your body and Joel knew he made the wrong move. “Don’t tell me what to do, Pimentel. Who left you in charge?” You hissed.

His hands flew up in surrender, “Jeez, woman what got your panties twisted in a bunch, I was just saying. When is Chris coming back anyway?”

“Go ask him yourself.” You snapped and Joel just lost his patience. He stood up, his tall broad frame towering over you, his nose flaring in annoyance.

“Chris should teach you a thing or two about manners. You don’t get to talk to me like that, Princess” He sneers. The way he called you princess just agitated you even further.

“Who are you to tell me what to do, Curly” You growled. Joel curled his fist at his side taking a step closer towards you, completely pissed as fuck now.

“Call me curly one more time or so help me” he says through gritted teeth.

“Try me, Pimentel” You challenged.

You were so pissed at Joel, you didn’t notice your bare back hit the cold wall as Joel’s glare bored into yours.

You realize that his face was inches from yours, his lips just hovering on top of your mouth. Your eyes darts to his lips and back to his brown eyes. Your heart was racing from the adrenaline and the tension growing between you two. Joel bites his lips, pressing his hands against the wall at the side of your face. He couldn’t stop staring at your lips.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispers just above your mouth, your lips just centimeters apart.

“Oh, fuck it.” Your lips crashed against his. The kiss was hungry, your tongues battling in dominance. There was a small pang of guilt in your mind but diminished instantly when Joel’s cold hands, rubs at your side, gliding over your smooth warm skin travelling to the small of your back and finally reaching your ass.

He squeeze harshly before one of his hands glides against your warm skin stopping at the back of your knees. He raised your leg to his waist, giving him acess to grind his crotch against your semi-naked as he kissed your neck until it left a mark.

He picks up your other leg to hook both around his waist as you wrapped your arms around his neck, your hands threading his soft curly hair.

He makes a low hot grunt, sending you to a frenzy when you tugged on his hair. He tosses you on the bed, spreading your legs for him. You bit your lip. He looked so hot in between your legs. He dipped down, his lips hovering just above your pussy.

“You’re so wet for me, Darling. Bet Chris can’t make you this wet like I can.”

You let out a frustrated grunt when he licks you through your lacy thong making you squirm under his wet tongue.

He pulls the lacy fabric aside giving your pussy a long hard lick. You moaned his name out loud, arching your back from the pleasure, your hands flying to his luscious curly hair.

He started flicking his tongue against the sensitive bud, his lips wrapping around your throbbing clit. A surge of electrified pleasure courses through your body, the much needed release of pent up sexual frustration. “Fuck, Joel”

His tongue was replaced with his cold fingers, playing with your wet folds teasing the fuck out of you. “Do you want me to finger you baby?”

You bucked your hips against his fingers, wanting them inside you. “Fuck, yes, Joel, yes!” You groaned.

He slides a finger in between your soaking folds, moving in and out of you slowly. You wanted more, you wanted more of him.

“Faster” you begged. He quickens the pace, his eyes watching your reaction as your features twist in pleasure at the feeling of his fingers moving fast inside of you.

“Don’t stop, Joel, oh god please don’t stop” You whimpered and he continues to thrust his fingers in and out of your wet pussy. Not stopping the pleasure, his lips hover over one of your breast, prying them out of your bra. Your eyes lock with his as he licks your aching bud, sucking delicately.

You arch back towards his mouth, begging him not to stop. The pleasure was making your dizzy making you tug on his hair. He moves to the skin just on the top of your nipples, licking it before sucking lightly enough to leave a mark but small enough for Chris to notice.

“I’m gonna cum, Joel. Don’t fucking stop” you whimpered and with that, Joel thrusts his fingers in and out if you faster.

“Cum for me babe. I want you to cum for me. ” He whispers into your ear, kissing your earlobe before sucking it gently.

“Oh fuck!” You screamed, throwing your head back as waves of pleasure crashed through you as you came.

When you came down from your high, he pulls out his fingers sucking your juices clean.“No wonder Chris couldn’t get enough of you, you taste so good, princess.”

“Thanks” you panted, catching your breath.

But before Joel can say anything more, you hear the door of the hotel room unlock and you both cursed under your breath. Adjusting your underwear, you get under the covers as Joel stood up straight and fixed his hair a little.

“(Y/n)? Baby i’m sorry.” Christopher enters the hotel room and stops mid-way when he notices Joel “oh hey bro.” His eyes darts on you then to his band mate.

“I was just looking for you, man but I think you guys need to sort out something so, see you later, dude” Joel says, patting Chris’ back.

“Bye, (y/n)” he smirks and leaves the room but not before he winks at you.

You bite your lip as you turned to Chris. Pretending that nothing happened in the last few seconds.

[gizedcom]

The Not So Hidden Israeli Politics of ‘The Last of Us Part II’

The real horror in zombie fiction is usually not the legions of undead, but the frailties and cruelties that they expose in the living. The differences between stories in the genre come from the specific fears and frustrations that they render into their metaphors. The Last of Us Part II fits perfectly within these genre conventions, but what’s different here is its sources of inspiration.

The Last of Us Part II focuses on what has been broadly defined by some of its creators as a “cycle of violence.” While some zombie fiction shows human depravity in response to fear or scarcity in the immediate aftermath of an outbreak, The Last of Us Part II takes place in a more stabilized post apocalypse, decades after societal collapse, where individuals and communities choose to hurt each other as opposed to taking heinous actions out of desperation.

More specifically, the cycle of violence in The Last of Us Part II appears to be largely modeled after the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I suspect that some players, if they consciously clock the parallels at all, will think The Last of Us Part II is taking a balanced and fair perspective on that conflict, humanizing and exposing flaws in both sides of its in-game analogues. But as someone who grew up in Israel, I recognized a familiar, firmly Israeli way of seeing and explaining the conflict which tries to appear evenhanded and even enlightened, but in practice marginalizes Palestinian experience in a manner that perpetuates a horrific status quo.

The game’s co-director and co-writer Neil Druckmann, an Israeli who was born and raised in the West Bank before his family moved to the U.S., told the Washington Post that the game’s themes of revenge can be traced back to the 2000 killing of two Israeli soldiers by a mob in Ramallah. Some of the gruesome details of the incident were captured on video, which Druckmann viewed. In his interview, he recounted the anger and desire for vengeance he felt when he saw the video—and how he later reconsidered and regretted those impulses, saying they made him feel “gross and guilty.” But it gave him the kernel of a story.

“I landed on this emotional idea of, can we, over the course of the game, make you feel this intense hate that is universal in the same way that unconditional love is universal?” Druckmann told the Post. “This hate that people feel has the same kind of universality. You hate someone so much that you want them to suffer in the way they’ve made someone you love suffer.”

Druckmann drew parallels between The Last of Us and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict again on the official The Last of Us podcast. When discussing the first time Joel kills another man to protect his daughter and the extraordinary measures people will take to protect the ones they love, Druckmann said he follows “a lot of Israeli politics,” and compared the incident to Israel’s release of hundreds of Palestinians prisoners in exchange for the captured Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit in 2011. He said that his father thought that the exchange was overall bad for Israel, but that his father would release every prisoner in every prison to free his own son.

“That’s what this story is about, do the ends justify the means, and it’s so much about perspective. If it was to save a strange kid maybe Joel would have made a very different decision, but when it was his tribe, his daughter, there was no question about what he was going to do,” Druckmann said.

Naughty Dog and PlayStation have presented Druckmann as The Last of Us Part II‘s creative lead and public face. Game development is a highly collaborative practice that demands the backbreaking labor of literally hundreds of programmers, testers, writers, and artists, all of whom make creative contributions and without whom a game of this size and scope would not exist. So while it’s impossible to pin a big budget video game’s themes and inspirations to one person, parallels between The Last of Us Part II and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict manifest in the final product, not just in what Druckmann has said in interviews.

Besides the familiar zombie fiction aesthetics of an overgrown and decomposing metropolis, The Last of Us Part II‘s main setting of Seattle is visually and functionally defined by a series of checkpoints, security walls, and barriers. There are many ways to build and depict structures that separate and keep people out. Just Google “U.S.-Mexico border wall” to see the variety of structures on the southern border of the United States alone. The Last of Us Part II‘s Seattle doesn’t look like any of these. Instead, it looks almost exactly like the tall, precast concrete barriers and watch towers Israel started building through the West Bank in 2000.

The history and power dynamics of The Last of Us Part II‘s Seattle map to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict as well, if viewed from an Israeli perspective.

The main faction in Seattle is the Washington Liberation Front (WLF), known as the Wolves. The broad strokes are that after the outbreak, FEDRA, an emergency militaristic government agency, took over the city. With food shortages, constant fear of infection, and FEDRA’s increasingly brutal measures of keeping order, an insurgency rose: the Wolves. They were outmatched, but prevailed with a series of hit-and-run attacks, assassinations of FEDRA officers, and other guerilla tactics. Eventually, FEDRA abandoned the city and ceded control to the Wolves, who in turn implemented an equally harsh (or harsher) regime.

In one in-game note, a FEDRA commander in Seattle writes to Central Command to explain that he has lost the city the Wolves, which he describes as terrorists. Here, there are parallels to early Zionist organisations that fought British rule in the region. These organizations were also described as terrorists, and leaders of those organizations later became leaders in Israel, much like how Isaac, the leader of the Wolves, came to control Seattle. Other in-game notes, scenes of urban ambushes, and the bodies of executed FEDRA officers laboriously walk the player through the cliche “one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.”

Once Isaac and the Wolves seized control of Seattle by violent means, however, the same means were used against them by another group—one that uncomfortably matches Israeli caricatures of Palestinians.

Most of the Wolves regime’s restrictions are directed at a post-apocalyptic religious sect called the Seraphites (the Wolves call them “Scars” after the ritualistic scarring of their faces). These Scars vexed FEDRA as well when it was in control. The dynamic in the city when the game begins is one of conflict, escalation, and a broken truce. The Wolves, like FEDRA, leverage more resources and raw power, while the Scars rely on surprise strikes against Wolf patrols, and a zealous willingness to die for the cause.

To run through just a few key ways in which the Scars uncomfortably reflect some Israeli stereotypes about Palestinians:

The same note from the Seattle FEDRA commander that bitterly says the Wolves are in charge explains that it’s now their responsibility to not only feed and shelter the people of Seattle, but deal with the “religious fanatics,” referring to the Scars.

Later in the game, Ellie finds a location called “Martyr Gate,” where the Scars’ spiritual leader apparently died, indicating a religious significance of a specific and disputed location, and emphasizing the notion of martyrdom as central to their culture.

The Scars are able to get around Wolf patrols and various barriers around the city via an elaborate, secret system of bridges between skyscrapers. These function as a kind of flipped version of the underground tunnels Palestinians use to bypass Israeli blockades and other means of limiting free movement in order to get supplies and carry out attacks on Israel.

The Last of Us Part II goes to great pains to impress that it sees no innocent players in this conflict. It’s not just that Isaac and the Wolves seized control of the city by vicious (but necessary) means—the society they’ve built, prosperous and protected by the walls of Seattle’s CenturyLink Field, is buttressed by fascisim and cruelty to an outgroup. The Wolves’ bountiful crops exist to feed an army that ventures far beyond its territory to punish the Scars. Its kennels of adorable dogs are just disposable weapons. Isaac leads from a forward operating base that sits atop torture chambers. After a truce fails, the only way he can imagine peace is through the total annihilation of his enemies.

It is not a peaceful or just society, or even a sustainable one in the long run, despite its perseverance and resourcefulness. It is one that is doomed to collapse because of an inability, or unwillingness, to resolve a perfectly resolvable conflict.

This conflict comes to a head when Isaac decides to push deep into the Scars’ land to finish them once and for all. We don’t get to see how the battle ends or who comes out on top, but we see Isaac die in the fighting, and get the sense that the battle is so brutal and bloody, whatever survives is not worth keeping.

Rather than step back, cooperate, and seek truth and reconciliation, the Wolves and Scars keep seeking revenge for past grievances in a cycle of violence that eventually ends them both in literal fires sparked by hate. The game’s message seems to be: “An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind,” another cliche that The Last of Us Part II indulges in by taking away Tommy’s eye at the end of the game for seeking revenge for his brother Joel.

A “cycle of violence” is a tempting way to interpret this conflict, or any conflict, because it signals careful nuance while quietly squashing more difficult conversations. By suggesting that since both Wolves and Scars are equally implicated and equally in pain, we are free to stop thinking about the problem. All parties include both good and bad actors. We’re all human. Both sides.

This common, centrist position on violent conflict, while better than absolute dehumanization, is not coincidentally a world view that allows conflicts to drag on forever. Suggesting moral equivalence and a symmetry in ability between sides also invites us to throw up our hands and give up on better solutions because of implied and unexamined perceptions about “human nature.” Indeed, the game is unrelentingly cynical, and this cynicism animates most of the 30-odd hour experience. Whereas Abby and Ellie find interpersonal resolution at the end, the game seems content to leave the question of community-scale cycles of violence as a regrettable fact of human existence. Even if the Wolves and Scars meet their mutual end, the game leaves us with the knowledge that a resistance group from the first game, the Fireflies, and other groups, are regrouping and gaining strength. The cycle continues.

Despite the lengths it goes to, The Last of Us Part II can’t help but reveal that its perspective is firmly rooted in one side and not the other.

Seattle is so clearly inspired by Israel and Palestine without naming either, but it does notably spend time presenting Jewish identity. One of the first things Ellie and Dina do when they arrive in Seattle is explore a former synagogue. It’s a short scene, maybe 20 minutes out of a 30-plus hour game, and it serves as a kind of a Jewish experience amusement park ride, bombarding the player with references and history as Dina and Ellie walk around a bimah, find a Torah, and so on. Almost the entirety of this section is spent explaining Jewish identity as that of survivors in the face of other groups that want to destroy them. In the span of those 20 minutes, there are three separate references to the Holocaust.

Survival in the face of persecution is a pillar of Jewish identity for good reason, and has been since before the Holocaust. It’s also one that is relevant to the characters in the game, all of whom are survivors of a zombie apocalypse. But this is only one aspect of Jewish identity. The Last of Us Part II doesn’t spend any time exploring, for example, Talmudic traditions which define so much of Jewish notions of justice and scholarship. Instead, in a non-optional section of the game, it spends a significant amount of time telling the player that Jews are always persecuted and fighting for survival. This is not wrong, but it is serving a specific purpose in the ham-fisted allegory about Israel and Palestine that is The Last of Us Part II, much like the Holocaust is cynically leveraged by some to justify Israel’s actions.

This sermon is notably delivered by Dina, who is Jewish and serves as the game’s moral compass. Dina is pregnant, dreams of a life of peace, and tries to turn Ellie back from her murderous quest. When Ellie chooses to pursue it anyway, the heaviest price she pays is that Dina leaves her.

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The more moral characters in The Last of Us Part II all want to escape cycles of violence rather than reckon with them. Lev and Yara want to escape their cult. Owen and Mel want to get on a boat and sail away from Seattle. Dina wants to walk away from the mess and live on a farm secluded from the rest of society. Even our main characters, Ellie and Abby, after far too much suffering, essentially end their emotional journey when they decide to walk away from revenge.

It’s certainly true that individual lives get wrapped up in larger conflicts in horrible ways. Cycles of violence exist in practice as escalations and retributions. A defining feature of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is the macabre bargaining over which violence is worse. Images of exploded public buses are presented next to collapsed buildings and children being pulled from the rubble. Armed factions swear to deliver retaliation over specific incidents, and do.

But “cycles of violence” are a poor way to understand a conflict in a meaningful way, especially if one is interested in finding a solution. The United States, for example, hasn’t been at war in Afghanistan for almost 20 years because it’s trapped in a “cycle of violence” with the Taliban. It is deliberately choosing to engage with a problem in a way that perpetuates a conflict. Just as the fantasy of escaping violence by simply walking away from it is one that only those with the means to do so can entertain, the myth of the “cycle of violence” is one that benefits the side that can survive the status quo.

In The Last of Us Part II‘s Seattle, Scars and Wolves hurt each other terribly, and the same can be said about Israel and Palestine. The difference is that when flashes of violence abate and the smoke clears, one side continues to live freely and prosper, while the other goes back to a life of occupation and humiliation. One side continues to expand while the other continues to lose the land it needs to live. Imagining this process as some kind of symmetric cycle benefits one side more than the other, and allows it to continue.

As a result, The Last of Us Part II never quite justifies its fatalism. As Rob Zacny wrote in his review and again in his closer examination of The Last of Us Part II‘s ending, at the end of the day Ellie’s journey of revenge seems especially cruel, even idiotic, because we are never given a good reason for why she keeps recommitting to it. Acts of cruelty along the way, like Ellie’s torturing another character to get information, are presented as inevitable. This seems to be The Last of Us Part II‘s thesis: humans experience a kind of “intense hate that is universal,” as Druckmann told The Post, which keep us trapped in these cycles.

But is intense hate really a universal feeling? It’s certainly not one that I share. I, too, have seen the video of the 2000 mob killing of the Israeli soldiers in Ramallah, and it’s horrific. Yet, my immediate response wasn’t “Oh, man, if I could just push a button and kill all these people that committed this horrible act, I would make them feel the same pain that they inflicted on these people,” as Druckmann said.

This is not a universal feeling as much as it’s a learned way of seeing the world. There are many other ways to react to that video: compassion for the victims, compassion for the killers, questioning why these soldiers had to drive into the West Bank in the first place, questioning what would drive a mob to this kind of violence. Revenge and hate is just one option.

The Last of Us Part II is an incredible journey that provides not only one of the most mesmerizing spectacles that we’ve seen from big budget video games, but one that manages to ask difficult questions along the way. It’s clearly coming from an emotionally authentic and self-examining place. The trouble with it, and the reason that Ellie’s journey ultimately feels nonsensical, is that it begins from a place that accepts “intense hate that is universal” as a fact of life, rather than examining where and why this behavior is learned.

Critically, by not asking these questions, and by masking its point of view as being evenhanded, it perpetuates the very cycles of violence it’s supposedly so troubled by.

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