#( lmao ppl love to hate on this series too but i myself rather enjoy it lol )

[deadveiled]

( hhhhh ik i've promoted myself n my new blog here but uh. i'll probably be mostly lurking over at @ancestryfound for a lil while cuz its suuuper quiet over there but i'm still seriously itching to write my boy ;u; )

[hesitationss]

okay after reading tfota… it’s okay. i understand why it has a fandom and why it’s massively popular in book fandom spaces. i like the way that holly black pushed the expectations of what is typical to the ya fantasy formula (esp w gender roles and genuine character objectives) i liked reading from jude’s perspective knowing that she is also somewhat vile and seeing her not really hold other women’s ‘vileness’ as moral failings. (tbh i think it’s a bit weird to see how much woman readers hate taryn and nicasia… but in general most ppl can’t consume anything w conflict w out assigning blame or projecting moral compass onto their faves but that is for another discussion lmao) (just more thoughts about ya fantasy below and also about how much i love tithe)

my main crit, which isn’t much of a crit, more so a note + preference! is that it is very much closer to a manufactured fantasy. i read some interviews from some fave ya fantasy writers when i was in my late teens and a lot of them mentioned that ttrpgs were essentially writing tools for them. esp after getting into ttrpgs over the past couple of years, all of the ‘plot’ points for TFOTA read as manufactured as such, esp because a lot of Jude’s ‘downtime’ for thinking happened traveling between locations to her next ‘adventure’ plot point. if i am being honest the whole series could’ve been one long book, there isn’t much separation except for time passing. every book did so much build up to a major ‘action’ that occurred in the last couple of chapters with like zero processing space. (TFOTA QoN spoiler: but i wish [redacted] had been a 🐍 for like half if the book rather than 3 days.) I think the ending was alright, but def a bit fast paced for me!

i think this was my first YA series since high school and even back then i had been more interested in poetry and theory. i wasn’t disappointed or anything, but it is very interesting to see how YA writing has evolved for newer teen audiences! and it’s very cool of me mentally to be able to read it and think yes this for teens! contemporary indulgences and pacing for 2018 teens! TBH a lot of 90s/early 2000s YA still hold up for me, they were writing for a different audience!

I enjoyed the Modern Faerie Tales series so much when i picked it up at my local library in middle school. It was so groundbreaking to me that YA fantasy could include elements of reality. Not just *is a regular girl w a normal life*, but more like *working class, strained family relationships, feeling weird and too different, having a bad time* in the way that teenagers do. like my life sucked so bad as a kid and got like a bit better in middle school, and then more fucked up shit happened to me in hs, so it was very cool and nice to read the presence of class. I’ve read bits and pieces of some of her other works, but the removal of class and other issues just feels so defanged to me! idk tithe was written in 2002 but it was just so different. i’m glad HB is successful and people love her stuff, i wish there was more YA fantasy like TMFT where the fantasy isn’t completely removed from the material world. I saw myself a lot in Kaye esp since she was racialized as east asian despite being blonde and a pixie shdhdjsja 😭 and TMFTs will always be my fave for that plus i’m still heavily fixated on TMFTs… I probably still won’t read much YA in the future, but it was nice to visit some recent YA briefly (!! i am a sucker for ✨ faeries ✨) would be into hearing what others think esp if they read mfts first!!

[goosegoblin]

Jess how the hell did u get a degree with ADHD, I'm dying (this is a little bit asking for advice but also a little bit just me feeling sorry for myself, do not stress over replying! Thanks for being a generally cool gal and writing so much about adhd in general)

I’m publishing this rather than private replying because I imagine others might have good advice- if you want me to delete it and send you the text privately, please just let me know <3

So! I hated uni! Like I really did not enjoy the vast majority of it! Granted, my ADHD was only recognised and treated in my final year- and I spent a good portion of that struggling badly with my emetophobia- but I didn’t really handle my MSc well either lmao, so I think it’s safe to say I’m the problem. I got fairly good grades and my qualifications, though, so I guess it worked out? My point is that I don’t feel I handled my ADHD well in the slightest, so I apologise that I can’t be more useful!

Still, some general advice I do have is:

- are you medicated/ in treatment? if not, make that a priority in whatever way you can

- reach out to your uni’s disability department or whatever the equivalent is and ask for an assessment to see what type of help is available to you. I got extra time on exams which wasn’t helpful in itself, but it meant that I was no longer subject to the whole ‘you cannot leave in the last thirty minutes’ rule which had previously caused me a great deal of stress. Additionally, I got to take the exam in a smaller side room that was much more casual, and I focused way better in there.

- try and do coursework/ studying in the library wherever possible. You are not a person who can work on coursework at home. I know that you will think ‘oh, but at home I can be comfy and relax, and I have my favourite playlists, and all my notes are there’- this is all true, but you are not a person who can work at home. You need the change of environment that working somewhere else forces on you to persuade your brain it is, in fact, Working Time

- don’t be afraid to ask for mitigating circumstances. I got them for both dissertations and it is the only reason I was able to hand anything in at all lmao. You will not believe how many students get them for mental health reasons- your course leaders will be super, super used to it.

- try and keep to a routine where you can? leave the house daily (hard right now, I know), eat the correct amount of Food in a day, drink water, exercise, socialise, etc. i know you know all this stuff but i feel obliged to say it anyway

- sometimes you will hear a voice saying ‘i can skip today’s lecture because it’s recorded/ i can catch up later’. that is the devil talking. you will never ‘catch up later’ and if it’s recorded on panopto or similar, you will never watch it. do not let the devil in.

- i made flashcards often using various apps (anki is popular; i used studyblue but these days they make it Very Clear they would like you to pay money for the full version) and i found them super helpful. sitting down to study is a Whole Thing, but going through flashcards while on the toilet or walking somewhere is way, way easier.

- no, you don’t need to buy another notebook.

- comparison is the thief of joy! yes, there will be people on your course who know the material inside out and backwards and talk about how they only spent nine hours in the library yesterday. who cares! that’s their life; you are living yours. also here is a secret: nobody who says they spent nine hours in the library actually did work for the entire nine hours. i promise you this.

- no, you do not need to buy more gel pens

- bring a fidget toy or similar to lectures if you can. i warned one of my lecturers in advance that i would be using it and i wish i’d done that more often bc that lady was cool as hell and it was v helpful

- i can only imagine how much rougher online learning must be making all of this. i am positive people have made good resources on how to deal with it, but just so you know, i know a lot of ADHD ppl really struggling with it. i don’t say this to freak you out, but more to let you know if you feel the same way, it is not your fault and you are not alone

i don’t know your course, but if it’s one where you can reasonably just opt to not learn certain things, that... is not always the worst idea. like, the way my final year exams worked is that we got given a series of essay questions and we picked 3 to write responses to. this meant there were entire areas of the course i could simply opt out of. obviously this is not the ideal way to do things, but if you’re running out of time and this one area of the course is just making you fuckin suicidal to think about, then deciding to just rule it out can work.

(shoutout to my first year biochem course when not a single person picked the microbiology question and our course leader posted a pissy forum message about it god bless)

anyway this is long and probably not helpful, but i love you and i am sorry you are struggling. i struggled too! people who say uni was the best time of their life are generally not dealing with the type of thing we deal with, and that’s okay. it’s okay for uni to not be the best time of your life. it’s okay to struggle. it doesn’t mean you can’t do well or that you don’t deserve to be there. hang in there, my friend, and message me any time- i am always happy to listen or help in any way i can xxxxxx

[aphroditeurl]

If I'm doing all the asks then so are you.

>.> fineeee

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

Play video games, I’m not gonna lie about that. 

2. What’s your favourite piece of clothing you own/owned?

I have a black dress I bought for myself a couple years ago that makes me look like a badass Bond villain. And I look sexy as all hell in it. 

3. What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue?

I want to make custom dolls idk

4. What would your perfect room look like?

PINK i’m a fucking girly girl

5. How often do you play sports?

Never...I am not into sports. Watching others though is fun

6. What fictional place would you most like to go?

Diagon Alley

7. What job would you be terrible at?

Anything involving math. So I would make an awful accountant.

8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning medal for?

Being sick apparently...nah I’m pretty good at graphic design I think

9. When was the last time you climbed a tree?

I am afraid of heights so never

10. What is the most annoying habit other people have?

loud chewing, I will want to murder you I Promise

11. What job do you think you’d be good at?

Anything with animals, I have a passion for them

12. What skill would you like to master?

A different language. Being bi-lingual would be cool. I hate English. 

13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

Oh fuck I want to travel. Even to places considered “dangerous”. I want to go everywhere, I have A NEED. I’m a sucker for those exploration videos on youtube. 

14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house that you would live in for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like?

Firstly it would be a beach house because I love water and beaches. Secondly, it’d have at least four bedrooms, maybe six. And a full sized basement. I want it to look Magical As Fuck. For reasons. There will be an aquarium in it.

15. What’s your favourite drink?

Coke. The drink.

16. What state or country do you never want to go back to?

I miss Michigan a lot. I loved it there. 

17. What songs have you completely memorized?

A lot?? too vague

18. What game or movie universe would you most like to live in?

STARDEW VALLEY. Sustainable farming is sexy. 

19. What do you consider to be your best friend?

@sedris-the-meme-king

20. Are you usually early or late?

Early. Like twenty minutes early. Anxiety fuels me.

21. What pets did you have while you were growing up?

A lot of cats, a few dogs, hamsters, and a couple bunnies. I love animals.

22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with?

Relationship advice

23. What takes up too much of your time?

Depression 

24. What do you wish you knew more about?

Space law. Which is weird. The concept of space really scares me but it’s also a little fascinating. 

25. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?

“is my cat ok?”

26. What are some small things that make your day better? 

Getting random texts from ppl. 

27. Who’s your go to band or artist when you cannot decide on something to listen to?

Rihanna or Halsey 

28. What’s the best way to start the day?

By sleeping in a little longer

29. What shows are you into?

Anything that’s paranormal, pretty much anything on TLC, Gordon Ramsey is Good

30. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?

@floating-in-the-dark for being a good bean 

31. What age do you wish you could permanently be?

18. That was a fun age dude. 

32. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

13 Reasons Why, Game of Thrones, I’m petty 

33. What would be your ideal way to spent the weekend?

Video games, ice cream, kissing, things of that nature, maybe going to the movies, exploring a haunted abandoned hospital, casual things you know

34. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don’t think you could live without?

My phone

35. What’s your claim to fame?

Idk what this means???

36. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?

Dating. I’m sort of a cliche geek ok. 

37. What’s your favourite genre of book or movie?

Horror for movie and fantasy for books

38. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?

God phoning. Non-pagans won’t get this. 

39. What’s the best single day on the calendar?

The first of every month because it feels sorta refreshing

40. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?

Sexual education 

that’s a joke but I am also serious

41. How do you relax after a hard day of work?

I watch youtube videos and play some games, or RP

42. What was the best book or series that you’ve ever read?

The Maze Runner. Sorta corny but it was enjoyable. 

43. What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?

California. 10/10 would go back. 

44. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen?

“I would blink” out of context this makes no sense but it meant a lot to me in context 

45. What is the most annoying question people ask you?

“Are you SURE you’re __ age?” I am small, I sound 12, but yes I promise I AM TWENTY

46. What could you give a 30-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation?

Harry Potter at any given moment. Esp Draco Malfoy. 

47. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

Tbh??? Move away to a completely new place that you have no connections in. That sounds crazy stupid but really, it was the best choice I ever made. 

48. Would you rather go hang gliding or whitewater rafting?

Whitewater rafting

49. What’s your dream car?

1967 Thunderbird bitches 

50. What’s worth spending more on to get the best?

Make-up, and bath stuff 

51. What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of?

Game of Thrones lmao

52. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years?

School. I can’t wait to start college in the fall. 

53. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been?

UP Michigan 

54. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to it?

There are lot of ways to answer this. 

I want to try a ghost pepper lmao

55. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week?

I started talking to someone really sweet

56. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience for the first time again?

Undertale tbh

57. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have?

I’d work at a graveyard no joke

58. What amazing thing did you do that no one was around to see?

Absolutely nothing my dudes

59. How different was your life one year ago?

Extremely different and I sorta miss it

60. What quirks do you have?

I wiggle my mouth from side to side when I am in thought, I tend to rub my nose randomly, I walk on the balls of my feet

61. What would you rate 10/10?

@funkypanda

62. What fad or trend do you hope comes back?

I!! Want!! 90s!! Fashion!! Back!!

63. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen?

anything @floating-in-the-dark has done

64. What kind of art do you enjoy most?

See above answer

65. What do you hope never changes?

Most of my friendships

66. What city would you most like to live in?

Londonnnnn 

67. What movie title best describes your life?

The Boss Baby 

68. What did you decide to do the work you are doing now?

Huh????

69. What’s the best way a person can spend their time?

Being kind to others

70. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make?

Some really weird shit dude 

71. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been?

UP Michigan lol

72. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you?

Meeting my best friend 

73. Where would you rather be from?

Canada 

74. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn?

My temper, some bad habits that were formed from anxiety

75. What are you looking forward to in the coming months?

School, getting a puppy, summer

76. What website do you usually go on when you have time off?

Tumblrr

77. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

Japannnnn or South Korea

78. What is special about the place you grew up?

Everyone was a community. We all supported each other. 

79. What age do you want to live to?

100+ cause I fear death a lot

80. What are you most likely to become famous for?

The Biggest Baby Award

81. What are you absolutely determined to do?

Finish school and become a zoologist cause that’s the dream

82. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?

I can code and shit????? idk

83. What do you wish you knew more about?

Space law

84. What question would you most like to know the answer to?

“will I ever be successful at anything” 

[catsbeforelads]

I was tagged by the lovely @roslin to whom i would hereby like to apologise for doing this three hundred years after she tagged me

O N E

·        name: Ludmilla || nickname:  Lud/Loet || zodiac sign: cancer

·        height:  174cm || orientation: lesbian || ethnicity: white/caucasian

·        favourite fruit: strawberries? || favourite season: spring/summer because my depression-prone ass gets depressed when it’s cold outside

·        favourite book: oh man idk tbh I don’t read books that often anymore and i hate that abt myself but The Hours is one of my faves i guess || favourite flower: roses

·        favourite scent:  the smell of coffee before a 9am lecture || favourite animal: cats

·        coffee, tea, or hot cocoa? depends

·        average hours of sleep: 8 usually

·        cats or dogs? cats

·        favourite fictional character: I just remembered that Last Tango in Halifax exists so Caroline McKenzie-Dawson

·        dream trip: Ireland/Dublin

·        when was your blog created? July 8th 2014 apparently

·        what do you post about? (gay) things I find funny, cat/animal videos and idk just whatever pops up on my dash that I enjoy

·        do you get asks on a regular basis? I am wildly unpopular so no

·        aesthetic: honestly I never know how to answer this lmao

·        favourite band/artist? ???? i don’t knowww because I listen to songs rather than artists tbh

·        fictional character I’d date: I don’t know? all of my faves?

·        hogwarts house: ravenclaw i guess

T W O

·        Countries I’ve lived in: The Netherlands

·        Favourite fandom: Don’t have one (anymore)

·        Languages you speak: Dutch, English, a tiny bit of German

·        Favourite film of 2016: i have no idea 

·        Last article you read: sth about prices of stuff going up bc a friend tagged me on fb lmao

·        Shuffle your music library and put your first three songs here: the way you do - dope lemon // cardamom - weyes blood // i can’t go on without you - kaleo

·        Last thing you bought online: Lush tea tree water spray stuff because my skin is being a bitch and Lush promised to give me clear skin so

·        How would your friends describe you? quiet but also talkative i guess, sarcastic, ???

·        How would your enemies describe you? i think bc i don’t talk that much people assume im arrogant, also ppl probs think im weird

·        Who would you take a bullet for? my mother and grandmother and any cat

Getting increasingly personal meme

One insecurity: • lmao i have a lot of insecurities but if i had to name one……i couldnt because i have too many

Two fears: • entirely dark rooms • ending up alone

Three turn-ons: • smirks • when ppl i like subtly touch me but i hate it when ppl i dont really like or know that well do that • ????

Four life goals: • get a room in Utrecht which seems impossible lmfao • get my own cat • find my biological father and confront him with my existence lmao and also find all of my halfsiblings • have my own little place that makes me happy when i look at it

Five things I like: • cats • cooking/baking something and it turning out really well • sinterklaas/pepernoten/speculaas season • when my eyeliner is sharp enough to kill a man • hot chocolate

Six weaknesses: • procrastinating although i could also list this as a talent because damn i am good at that • not wanting to hurt people’s feelings and ending up doing stuff with people that i actually dont like that much • wanting to tell ppl everything about myself but not wanting to bore/annoy them with stories abt my life, resulting in me bottling everything up and pretending everything is fine • wanting to do too much, thinking ‘oh no that’s too much’, losing interest/energy and ending up not doing anything at all • wasting my time on tumblr instead of studying • middle aged women lmao

Seven things I love (things not people): • cats • that feeling when you just showered and washed your hair and shaved your legs and you get into a freshly made bed  • getting good grades or getting positive feedback from a teacher that normally roasts everyone lmao • pizza or just italian food in general tbh • that feeling when you watch a movie/series and theres a giant fucking plot twist or everything suddenly falls into place and ur like ‘ohhhhh shit’ • when something you ordered online is delivered • having done everything you had to do and watching a movie/series without any feelings of guilt

Tag eight people: i dont even know 8 people lmao so im just gonna tag @butterfliesandpumpkinpies and @whendoiturnbackintoapumpkin and @typewritr and also anyone who sees this and feels like doing it

[simprising]

50 questions you’ve never been asked tag

i was tagged by @soleilsim​ tysm <33

1. what’s your favorite candle scent? i actually have no idea i’m not really a fan of candles??

2. what female celebrity do you wish was your sister? rydel lynch because she is an amazing sister <33

3. what male celebrity do you wish was your brother? idk i love my brother too much to think about it lol

4. how old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

well considering myself rn probably after 30

5. do you know a hoarder? no!! 

6. can you do a split? i can’t!!! i’m your less supple friend you can make fun of

7. how old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? i was 5!! i remember going to school and telling everyone i could ride a bike lmao (what a show off!!!)

8. how many oceans have you swam in? only one yo

9. how many countries have you been to? 2!! uk + spain

10. is anyone in your family in the army? yes

11. what would you name your daughter if you had one? morgane i think

12. what would you name your son if you had one? I SUCK AT BOYS NAMES god

13. what’s the worst grade you got on a test? 4.5/20 it was for my blank maths exam lol rip me

14. what was your favorite TV show when you were a child? it was tyler's adventures of totally spies

15. what did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight? i’ve never celebrated halloween bc my parents always hated it

16. have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series? yes!!! (only hunger games tho)

17. would you rather have an American accent or a British accent? british bECAUSE ITS HOT

18. did your mother go to college? yes she did!! :-) and she recently got back to studying to get a new job i’m so proud of her <3

19. are your grandparents still married? no

20. have you ever taken karate lessons? NEVER it’s scary

21. do you know who Kermit the frog is? yes i do hehe

22. what’s the first amusement park you’ve been to? disney land paris :-)

23. what language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in? maybe russian????

24. do you spell the colour as grey or gray? grey??? i didn’t know there was 2 ways of writing it

25. is your father bald? no and it’s funny because his brothers almost are lol

26. do you know triplets? i don’t

27. do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook? titanic bc i’ve never watched the notebook

28. have you ever had Indian food? yes but i didn’t like it

29. what’s the name of your favorite restaurant? my favorite is probably “la villa” just because of its chocolate mousse

30. have you ever been to Olive Garden? no

31. do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.) no!!

32. what would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender? they never thought about any boy’s name bc they knew i was a girl

33. if you have a nickname, what is it? ppl call me célinou some time to time but you can’t make a good nickname from my name

34. who’s your favorite person in the world? my cat (currently waiting to have a best friend to put their name right here)

35. would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs? in the suburbs!!

36. can you whistle? sometimes yes sometimes no hehe idk what’s going on

37. do you sleep with a nightlight? no because i can’t sleep with any light on 

38. do you eat breakfast every morning? yes it’s very important!!

39. do you take any pills or medication daily? no

40. what medical conditions do you have? none

41. how many times have you been to the hospital? around five times i think 

42. have you ever seen Finding Nemo? yes!!!! love the seagulls

43. where do you buy your jeans? zara or mango (the only places i trust)

44. what’s the last compliment you got? “you’re a genius” from a friend i just helped lol

45. do you usually remember your dreams in the morning? i do most of the time :-)

46. what flavor tea do you enjoy? i don’t like tea hehe

47. how many pairs of shoes do you currently own? 5 but i only wear one atm

48. what religion will you raise your children to practice? i’m not religious so i’ll raise them without anything to do with religions

49. how old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real? i was 6, friends made fun of me bc i thought he was real lol exCUSE ME MY PARENTS WANTED ME TO STILL BE HAPPY BELIEVING IN SANTA FOR A FEW YEARS NOT LIKE YOURS

50. why do you have a youtube? to watch videos lol and subscribe to channels!!!