#((Also I was worried that Tumblr would eat the quality if I uploaded such long images))

[riding-the-sunset-bird]

A character reference based on all four Steps of Our Life! It's only "sort of" a height reference as well since obviously they're not 100% accurate (the devs don't have specific heights for everyone to my knowledge).

I did dig into the code to try and get characters at their "normal" heights but there are other matters at play too (example: Nicolas is obviously "taller" than he should be because he needs to be pushed upwards to be visible enough above the game's text box; likewise with other very short characters).

Still, this should serve as either a nice reference guide for every character or a "height reference" in the sense of getting an idea of which characters are shorter/taller than others.

I'm also going to detail some extra notes below the break, including posts from GB Patch's Tumblr that reference any defined heights (with Cove being the obvious one) or general height things, as well as some more stuff about the MC's height in comparison to the three love interests depending on what you pick.

Cove's height is listed on GB Patch's FAQ as 4' 1" in Step 1 (also stated as "mostly average, perhaps a bit on the short side"), 5' 4" in Step 2 (in-game this is defined as "very tall" on the MC's potential height spectrum, as that is the only option considered on par with Cove's height), 6' 0" in Step 3, and 6' 4" in Step 4. A fun fact is that Cove's final height was originally 6' 3" (191cm) instead.

Derek in Step 2 is under five feet tall (this post also lists Cove as "around 5 and a half feet tall" which you could take as either close enough to 5' 4" as stated above or a potential original height he had that got changed). In-game, he's "short" but not "very short", as having your MC be "very short" will prompt narration telling you that you're shorter than Derek, whereas "short" only has you relate to him in smolness generally.

Step 4 Derek is "mostly average." He wouldn't be considered tall nor would he be considered short. His youngest brother Nicolas will "probably end up as a similar height to him" once he's more grown up.

Step 4 Baxter is "taller than average, but not especially tall."

I've been informed that, on the Our Life Patreon Discord, Step 4 Derek's height is listed as 5' 9" (175cm) whereas Step 4 Baxter's is listed as 5' 11" (180cm), so those are their defined heights. Before that, both of their heights had jumped around somewhat. A post from 2019 said that Derek was 5' 11", but a post from June 2021 said that Baxter was 5' 11" and Derek was 5' 9" (so consistent with the Discord). Then there's also another post from July 2021 (you'll have to scroll down for this one) that listed Baxter at around 5' 10" while Derek was 5' 8"/5' 9". If you're insane enough to try and use the character reference too, then Baxter would actually be around 6'1" at minimum since he's taller than Step 3 Cove (though you could also make the same argument that this means the mom trio of Pamela, Noelani, and Kyra must be decently tall as well since they're so close to Cove on the character reference).

I don't have any experience with GB Patch's other game, XOXO Droplets, so I don't know what ages the characters are in it, but since both Shiloh and Jeremy are characters seen visibly in Our Life, I thought I'd also mention that they're listed as 5' 10" and 5' 5" (or 5' 5 1/2") respectively in XOXO Droplets. Jeremy also apparently grows to 5' 8" in his 20s and he's 22 in the Our Life Cove Wedding DLC (I don't think this is spoken of in the game specifically but he's labeled as 22 in the code).

As for the MC and how their height plays into things, "tall" and "very tall" as well as "short" and "very short" tend to be considered the same for the most part in the game's code. It's not that there isn't a difference at all (I would say it's still notable), it's just that sometimes the game may be more vague about height differences. My post about Errands references this where you don't need more athletic points due to being "very short" instead of "short" to give Cove a piggyback ride.

A guesstimate I'd make is that about 5% of the time, the game will take note of whether you're "very tall" instead of "tall" or "very short" instead of "short." Otherwise, you're either "generally tall," "average," or "generally short." There are also other instances (usually with Cove) where the game might just check if you're either generally tall (around Cove's height) or not generally tall (i.e: definitely shorter than him).

This is actually relevant to the heights because, following all above information, one would assume that Step 4 Derek is average, Step 4 Baxter is tall, and Step 4 Cove is very tall going off the MC's potential "height spectrum" of very short, short, average, tall, and very tall, but it's not entirely the case.

A "tall" MC (generally tall) will look "down" at Step 4 Baxter just as he will look "up" at them or they'll look directly at each other if the MC is "average," same as Step 3 Baxter, but--

when the game has any instance of differentiating between "tall" and "very tall" (they never do this for Step 3 Baxter so the base assumption would have to be that he's just average height), things change.

During Baxter's apology in the wedding of his Step 4, Baxter dips his chin to look at the MC if they're "short"/"very short," levels his chin to look at the MC if they're "average"/"tall," and then lifts his chin to look at the MC if they're "very tall." A generally tall MC still has to lean down to kiss him if they choose to do so though.

Also, during the intimacy scene with Baxter (either in his office or his living room), if the MC is "very short," "short," or "average," it states that Baxter is taller than them. If they're "very tall," then Baxter is shorter than them, but a "tall" MC is "almost the exact same height" as him.

This is all a really long-winded way of saying that GB Patch referring to Step 4 Baxter being "taller than average but not especially tall" might mean that he's some infuriating middle ground between average and tall where he's not quite one but not quite the other either (which honestly is very Baxter of him so I can't even be mad).

[dansnaturepictures]

10 of my favourite pictures to take from 7th-13th June 2020 and recap of the week 

As I stood looking at Marbled Whites butterflies and then Bee orchids at Stockbridge Down and then (briefly) Lakeside yesterday afternoon I had a thought. I didn’t want to take photos of them as I had taken pictures I was pretty proud of featuring the species only days before, albeit with the Marbled Whites yesterday I saw some unique image opportunities to the ones at Lakeside on Tuesday so did try in the end but wasn’t quite fast enough to take them before the butterflies flew. But the thought was that it didn’t seem like they were only days ago like it normally would as with working from home even on in places greyer and wetter days of late I am just producing so many images on daily walks and more. So if its like this for me a high turnover meaning images taken in the week proceeding this Saturday felt like ones from ages ago I dread to think what its like for my social media mutuals! More Twitter than Tumblr but I think similarly I do have such a high turnover at the moment. This isn’t a thought that worries me too much, I always console myself that they’ll always be churn I just can’t help it. 

For Twitter especially a picture I take on a Sunday afternoon when life is normal I’m working all week perhaps in winter and then I don’t take another or don’t upload any old pictures for whatever reason until the following Saturday is always going to get an advantage being at the top of my profile and displayed in the six most recent images on the profile for longer than a photo taken the Wednesday of a week I’m off work say and am producing 10s of photos every day. Its just that every week feels like this at the moment, I have reasons when working from home to keep my finger off my camera button a bit here and there but mostly related to the subsequent processing of them clashing with things in evenings. But I’ve long realised whilst in these very weird times I am so lucky to be able to safely get out and walk in a varied, biodiverse and beautiful country park on my doorstep. I’ve also been extremely lucky of late with restrictions easing to safely get back to some of the more normal for us weekend walks we have been able to do and in many cases take unprecedented amounts of pictures for me on days really seeing amazing wildlife as well. 

One way I’ve perhaps tried to give photos a chance to stick around a bit is by keeping my system of pinning my most interacted with new photo or wildlife sighting tweet to my profile each week, instead of it being just out of what I took at the weekend out of every photo taken the week prior. This week especially will be an exciting one to pick because all across social media but especially Twitter I seem to have had so many people interacting with my photos this week notably which has been happening more and more for a while really so I am so so grateful for that. A huge thank you to everyone for doing that, whether you’re a regular friend of mine on here or not. Seeing people interact even in a small way makes posting my photos so much more worthwhile. But this weekend I had the idea, a bit like one of my picks which I occasionally do where I either tweet what was my favourite photo to take that week or do a post on here with the context of that photo, to do this post. One big reason being doing the pick perhaps more regularly would help give photos that are maybe a bit lost in the crowd another chance to be seen as my photo of the week system which this replaced in 2017 did but the past week unlike the one before it there were too many standout photos (I hope I don’t seem big headed saying that) from different themes which every one of these tweets has to have now so it would be too time consuming to pick one. So below are captions to each pictures in order of appearance in this photoset, with a little bit about the day and if anyone is interested a link to the blog post I did on the night...

1. Common Tern at Pennington on Sunday, a great day to kick off this week with a variety of birds seen it really was a top late spring day of New Forest birding at a site I love so much and missed a lot in the stricter days of lockdown, including key year ticks my first Little Ringed Plover and Eider Ducks of the year. 

2. A dramatic landscape at Pennington also that day 

https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/620294983274184704/7620-flowers-in-the-garden-pennington-walk-and

3. Young Goldfinch in the garden on Monday, alongside a lovely Lakeside walk around the lakes with my Dad at a 2 metre distance under the current restrictions a key moment from Monday was seeing and finally getting to photograph another adorable young bird in the garden with this Goldfinch. 

https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/620383808053739520/08062020-spider-from-my-last-night-in-my-room

4. Meadow Brown at Lakeside Country Park on Tuesday, one of my best days of butterfly watching this year thanks to a sweet 45 minutes or so at Lakeside characterised in part by a notable amount of these butterflies opening their wings which I don’t often see giving picture opportunities. 

5. Marbled White at Lakeside also on Tuesday, the key part of my working week really after a few lunch times of looking in the area I am so used to seeing them in at this country park and that I nickname after them I was over the moon to come across this one it was a wonderful natural moment a key part of my year and felt like one of my best days for butterfly photographs in a week that had three of my best so far I feel all of which are in this post. 

https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/620477036347129856/09062020-flowers-and-marbled-white-and-more-on

6. Bee orchid at Lakeside on Wednesday, just metres from where the Marbled White was taken this day was very different with showers up until half way through my lunch break, by which point I stretched the legs at Lakeside after eating lunch and seeing this amazing wildflower which I photographed a bit further along in the walk last month with my macro and being able to capture it with raindrops still fresh with my big lens the only one I had on me was one of my greatest natural and beautiful moments this week. 

https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/620568869335105536/showery-wednesday-10th-june-2020-starlings

7. View at Lakeside that peaceful evening, Thursday was another wet and stormy this time day where garden birdwatching took a lot of focus to be honest as it did the latter half of this week as I didn’t know what quality of walks I’d get with showers for most of the afternoon and early evening, the lunch time one wasn’t very eventful that day but I did have a peaceful evening one as it got dry which this view summed up really. 

https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/620660235307270144/thursday-11062020-thunderstorm-the-calm-after

8. Oxeye daisies at Lakeside, Friday, another evening walk after another wet lunch time one which I did this time get out to Lakeside on. This was another flower picture and another oyeye daisy picture I am happy with this year. The day belonged to moths though supported by butterflies with Yellow Shell seen on both walks alongside my first ever Burnet Companion on the evening walk which was a fantastic moment alongside Meadow Brown, another Marbled White and another Small Skipper like my first of the year there a week prior as it got brighter in the evening. 

https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/620751463837319169/12062020-birds-butterflies-moths-and-more-at

9. Dark Green Fritillary at Stockbridge Down on Saturday, yesterday it was a butterfly classic for me at one of my favourite places to watch them headlined by this one of the next species I needed to see this year but another early sighting compared to previous years. We saw so many as well as other top species such as Small Blue (which I forgot to mention in my wildlife sightings summary yesterday!), Marbled White and Small Tortoiseshell. So many pictures taken yesterday too across wildlife, landscapes and flowers. 

10. View at Common Marsh also on Saturday, with a call in at this nearby spot too it became a brilliant general wildlife day as I saw my first Sedge Warbler, Banded Demoiselle and Scarlet Tiger moth of 2020 too as well as loads of water birds. 

https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/620838370171666432/13062020-stockbridge-down-and-common-marsh-with

So there we are, another unforgettable week. I would add this is a one off right now and I don’t think I’ll be able to do this every week going forward. But if I get the time, maybe I will do now and again of a Sunday morning/early afternoon just so I know I am reflecting really. Thanks once again for your amazing and truly valued support! 

[nanonaturalist]

Using iNaturalist Tutorial 1: Making Observations (Mobile App)

Welcome to the first part in a series of tutorials on using the world-wide citizen science website/app/paradise that is iNaturalist [link]. They have their own tutorials on using the website [link], but *coughs* they haven’t been updated in a while and the interface changed a little. 

I’m trying to encourage tumblr peeps to try out iNaturalist, so I created an “iNatters of tumblr” group [link] for us all to see what everybody else encounters, help each other ID things, and otherwise just have a fun time while contributing to science! Want to join us? Just create an account on iNaturalist, and either send me your username (on tumblr or on iNat!) and/or follow the group (click the button in the top right corner of the group page). I will add you to the list of identifiers, and all of your observations, past and present, will be added to the group! Check out my tagged posts about this project! [link]

Figuring out any new website or app can be confusing and frustrating, and I hope these tutorials will make it easier to start using iNaturalist. If anything I say is unclear, confusing, or doesn’t match what you see, just let me know and I will update this tutorial with a better explanation. 

These tutorials are image-heavy and kinda long, so they will be under a cut. Note: I have the iPhone version of the app, so you may see a slightly different interface on another device.

Observation Tutorial Part 1: Making Observations with the Mobile App

First Thing’s First! Let’s check out your settings!

Most of these settings are self-explanatory. Automatic Upload The app defaults to automatic upload, which means it will start uploading your observations as soon as you save them. If you are doing a bioblitz, or are in an area with limited cell reception, this option can slow down the app and drain your battery. If you turn off this option, you will need to push the “upload” button to post your observations so others can see them.

Suggest Species This option is MAGICAL. It was first rolled out about a year ago, and HOLY CARP it’s pretty good! But, it does have limitations. First, it requires a good signal and can slow you down and eat up your battery. Also, it works based off a machine-learning system from observations previously uploaded and verified on iNaturalist. What this means: The identify tool can only successfully identify things that have been observed and identified by other real humans. Also, it only uses your main photo (the first one), and it can get thrown off if it was taken at a weird angle, or if there is lots of other stuff in the background (like plants, rocks, other bugs). And, very important to note: it does not take your location into consideration. There is a very heavy user-base in New Zealand, so it is fairly common for species that only occur in New Zealand to be suggested. So, use your best judgement. If you think something is a Booger Beetle, but the app suggests Snot Weevil, ignore the app. OR, you can stick to a higher classification (Beetles) and come back to it later. You can always change your mind!

iNaturalist Network You don’t really need to worry about this too much. There are a bunch of “flavors” of iNaturalist, and which network you select is the one your data will stick to in the event that the iNaturalist Network breaks up. They are more or less regional. More information about the networks here [link]

Okay, let’s take some photos!

Wow, nice! You have two options for making observations with the mobile app.  Option 1: Take the photo now, worry about iNat later Option 2: Take the photo using the iNat app

I recommend choosing Option 1 if you are taking photos of things that may move, because the app has a bit of a delay, and the quality tends to not be as good. I use Option 1 almost exclusively, because it’s easier to take my photos and do bulk uploads when I’m inside and not being chased by mosquitos. Option 2 is better if your subject isn’t moving too fast, and if you are just observing a couple things (and also if you don’t want to build up a several-month-long backlog of photos on your phone...).

You can take and select multiple photos! Try to get different angles, and photograph different parts of your subject to help with IDs later.

Advanced iNatter Option If you take photos with your phone to upload later, you have the option of annotating your photos! This is helpful if you have more than one specimen in the photo, or if your specimen is well camouflaged. You can also point out important features, like I did below. Any edits you do to your photos before you upload them can really help out people who do IDs!

Regardless of which option you choose, you will end up at your observation page!

Adding identifications to your observations

From your observation page (on the left above), you can add more photos, add an ID, write notes, and edit time and location information. More on those options later! First, let’s click “What did you see?” to get to the ID page. 

If you have “Suggest species” turned on, the app guesses what you saw. Clicking the information symbol to the right will show you more information on each species to help you decide if that ID is a good fit. Feel free to pick whatever you think is closest, and other people will agree with you OR suggest other identifications later.

If you know what you saw, or if you have a guess, go ahead and type it into the search bar. If you have autocomplete on, it will (guess what!) autocomplete what you are typing. If you have a slow connection, LOOK OUT because you might accidentally select the wrong ID due to lag.

Editing Location and Privacy

Depending on your phone’s privacy settings, your photos will automatically have a GPS stamp on them, so if you are adding photos to iNat later, you usually don’t need to worry about remembering where you took them. If you have this feature turned off for your phone, that’s fine! Or, if you have that option turned on, and your photos are GPS tagged, you can still protect your privacy while keeping the location data useful for scientists and researchers.

If you are wondering, “Why is location even important? Why should I bother?” There are a couple answers! First, there are very few species present worldwide. For the most part, in order to identify something, it is essentially to know where it was. Sometimes, you can be vague, and just stating the country is good enough detail to identify something (common for larger animals, like birds and mammals, and larger plants like trees). But other times, you need to be extremely specific. Some insects look nearly identical to each other, but there will be different species living on one side of a mountain range vs the other side, even if they are only 20 miles apart. And also, researchers who are tracking the movement of species in response to climate change can benefit from having access to accurate data--showing that a species of plant is appearing even several miles north each year is crucial to understanding how to manage environmental stewardship.

If you are out and about, and have GPS phototagging on, you don’t really need to edit your location (unless you want to!). If you have GPS tagging off, or the location data was a little off, OR you want to protect your privacy (observations at your house, for example), here’s what ya do:

Click the area on your observation page with location (I blanked those details out of my screencap). You will be taken to a map. Clicking the green arrow takes you to your current location. You can zoom in or out of the map (unfortunately, you can’t just type in an address on the mobile app, but you CAN on the website, and you CAN edit posts you made from the mobile app on the website later!). When the location you want is centered on the map, zoom in or out to set your accuracy (if you can’t remember where you were, but you KNOW you were somewhere in Austin, you would basically do what I have above in my map). 

If you don’t want to edit the location, but you don’t want the entire world to know where your photos were taken, you can change the GeoPrivacy setting (kinda cut off in the screencap, but it’s directly underneath location). You can select three options:  Open: Everybody can see where your observations were made Obscured: iNaturalist will create large square that contains your true location at some random point within the square. All observations with obscured coordinates will be randomly assigned to one point in that square. Only you can see those coordinates (one exception is if you join a very specific type of project, and you have opted-in to let project curators see obscured coordinates). Private: No location information is shared. You may select this option if you want, BUT keep in mind it will be very difficult for people to help identify your observations! For more information on GeoPrivacy, iNaturalist provides more information here [link]

Adding Observations to Projects

iNaturalist has many different kinds of projects [link]. The “iNatters of tumblr” project is a “collection” project type, which automatically adds observations meeting specific criteria (in our case, all observations made by users I have added to the project). Another type of of project, the “traditional” project type, was originally the only type of project available. It’s great for collecting some very specific observations that you can’t really search for. Two of my favorites are “Mating Behaviour” and “Animated Observations” [both are links]. The downside of these kinds of projects is somebody has to manually add each observation to the project. If you have joined one of these kinds of projects, you can link them to your observation before you save it. You can also add observations to projects any time later.

To link your observation with a project, you must have joined a project first. Afterwards, just click the button and you’re done!

Saving and Uploading

You’re almost done! Just ONE final step. Save!!! Click the big green SAVE button at the bottom, and you see your beautiful observation:

If you have Auto Uploads turned off, you need to click the upload button to start uploading. That’s it! Congratulations!

If you take your photos with a camera, or if you want to upload a BUNCH of observations at one time, you will want to make your observations on the website, rather than the mobile app. Making observations on the iNaturalist website will be the subject of Tutorial 2!

September 18, 2018

[leefelixs]

boyfriend lee minho • stray kids

genre: fluff

pairing: lee minho & you

word count: 2306 words

summary: dating minho and all the quirks/aspects of your relationship

note(s): in this house we love and appreciate minho so much.. we miss you so much please come back soon here is the third part of the boyfriend series! as per usual it’s in bullet point format. <3 for all the lovely minho stans! (p.s. this gif was originally created by @hyyunjinn i just can’t seem to find the original post with tumblr’s gif system)

your younger brother jeongin was the focus of your attention most days, you felt it was right for you to take care of him and protect him as he was younger than you and considerably softer compared to most kids his age in terms of personality

as he grew older he had found a passion for dancing and begged your parents to let him take classes at the studio nearby to which you promised you would take him to and from everyday, and the smile on his face when they finally agreed made you set on contributing to your deal

keeping him happy was all that mattered to you but after the first few weeks you noticed your usual cheery brother had grown weary and much more tired, yet managing to force a smile on his face

“it was great” was always his response to your questions about the day but it was obvious in his eyes that he wasn’t entirely truthful

most days you wait five minutes before his classes should end to leave, but that particular day you had been out already and decided even with the extra twenty minutes to spare you might as well start walking and you could just sit and wait for him to come out

as you walk closer to the studio you can see two figures outside and stop behind a tree as you realize jeongin is one of them, his eyes looking at the ground with tears rolling down his face and his fists clenched in embarrassment

“jeongin, you’re doing your best. don’t listen to them. it just takes you a little more but it’s nothing to worry about...”

a boy slightly older than him is rubbing his shoulder with a concerned expression

jeongin hiccups and listens to the boy as he continues on reassuring him he’s doing good and any skills he needs to brush up on he’ll be there to help him throughout the way no matter how long it takes and it’s nothing to worry about

“thank you minho, you’re the best. i appreciate you so much.” jeongin hugs him and the older boy smiles and hugs him back just as warmly

your heart twitches at the sight because jeongin is genuinely so happy and seems so much more relaxed than before and you never knew there was a burden on his shoulders over his ability

minho was his name? minho...you were thankful to him. he was helping your brother out...and come to think of it on your walks back home jeongin had mentioned him briefly, geeking out about how nice and talented he was

jeongin had forgotten to mention how warm and handsome he was though uhm...how fake

as you see jeongin wipe away his tears you decide it’s best to come out now and pretend as if you didn’t see anything to spare him from an awkward forced conversation

“jeongin! how was class?” both boys turn to look at you and his face lights up instantly as he hugs you

minho watches you both and lingers his eyes a little longer on you and wow jeongin had definitely mentioned having an older sibling but failed to mention they were really attractive jeongin what the heck

“uh...” although you pretend not to notice you can feel jeongin shoot the older boy a look who quickly gives a thumbs up and your brother just smiles at you

“it was great! hey, have i introduced you to minho yet?” he eagerly tugs you closer to the older male and wow he is even more attractive up close

it’s a minho thing to be that lethal you know what i mean

minho gives you a warm smile before holding out his hand to shake yours but wow his hands are really soft and you can tell he uses lotion that’s a nice quality right there you trust him

“jeongin talks a lot about you, it’s nice to finally meet the living legend.” his voice is a lot more quiet and calm than you expected but it sounds really soothing and nice

“nice to meet you too, i could say the same thing. thanks for keeping him company, he can’t shut up about you or hyunjin.” and from there the both of you just talk about the classes and jeongin

and the whole time you fail to realize the slightly mischievous look in jeongin’s eyes because yes his plan is working he has waited years for the both of you to meet and speak to each other

not like he had planned to cry or anything to get minho to meet you, but he had definitely made sure to talk about both of you to the other because you’re both his favorite people and coincidentally single and how cool would it be to have his favorite people like each other

after 20 minutes you realize it’s getting a little dark out and reach for jeongin to come closer

“it was really nice meeting you but i think we have to get going since the street lights are pretty dim and we don’t want to get home in the dark...”

“wait! minho...you should give us a ride home,” and you gently smack jeongin’s hand and he gives a little ow and rubs his arm but he really REALLY needs you guys to be together longer

he can feel it his plan is working you’re both interested it’s so obvious please minho don’t fail him

and yes! minho thinks a little

“if you’re comfortable i can drop you both off, i would feel bad taking up your time and letting you both go alone.” and although you feel guilt you eventually agree once jeongin hops into the back of his small car and buckles in (this kid i swear)

the car ride is short lived but pleasant and once you both get down he’s like wait no

and you’re like huh did i forget something? and he blushes a little because he didn’t think this through he has no reason to keep you from going why is he doing that

“i know we just met but i was wondering if i could have your number,” and jeongin just FIST PUMPS because yes it worked it’s happening and you shyly type your phone number into his phone and put a little heart emoji next to your name and he smiles and does the same thing to your phone

once you both go inside you lock the door and look at jeongin with your arms crossed

“i know what that was you little twerp” and he just looks at you innocently with a big grin and shrugs his shoulders, running in to greet your parents

from that point you both text EVERY single hour you have never replied so fast and neither has he

his roommates make fun of him because he’ll leave his phone in his room and wander around the apartment looking for something to do until he hears the ding from his room and speeds back in

every single day you both get a ride home from minho but eventually he’s taking you both to eat, watch movies, do something else

and around five months of the routine jeongin decides he should probably leave you both to do as you please because these “hang outs” are more like dates and he feels like a little baby third wheeling both of you even if you both try to include him as much as possible

especially because around this time minho has moved out into his own little apartment and jeongin is like yeah okay privacy is definitely due here

around the fifth month of this routine as minho drops you both of and opens the door for you, jeongin huffs and slams the door closed

“when are you gonna start dating for real? it’s so painful watching you two awkwardly wait it out.” and he just goes inside and minho starts sweating

there’s a thick awkward silence and he just shuffles his feet as you take a sudden interest in your nails

“i think he’s right.” minho smiles at you and intertwines his hands with yours

“would you like to be with me?”

jeongin takes a quick snapchat of it and saves it in his memories so you can all look back on the day fondly

minho is genuinely one of the best boyfriends a person could have

his heart is so big and he genuinely cares about everyone he meets

before he does anything or plans anything he always makes sure you like the idea or are comfortable with everything

even if it’s a surprise which kind of ruins the surprise but makes the effort a lot more appreciated because he just wants to respect you and any boundaries you could possibly have

he’s so easy going and vanilla too.. he’s right out of a novel

one day you both go to the mall on a date and get frozen yogurt and while he gives you some a little elderly lady gushes over how cute you both are and how handsome your boyfriend is and he just blushes and thanks her

absolutely loves being in contact with you...whether you’re there with him or note he just has to talk to you whether it be through text or snapchats

also the type of couple to have different conversations on every app you use like on snapchat you’re asking how each other’s days were and on twitter he’s sending you memes and maybe on instagram you’re debating conspiracy theories its great

tags you in really..really old school memes like dad material memes...it’s not even funny but you don’t have the heart to tell him

also minho is so good at taking selfies and has such good fashion taste? he loves getting you to dress up with him and try to subtly match

and he takes pictures everywhere you both go and uploads them on instagram

tries to get you to dance to choreo with him and has a lot of patience with teaching you

your mom is always trying to meet him because jeongin adores him and so do you and she’s like i bet i will too

before he kisses you he looks at your lips and then at you like can i,, y’know...sometimes he’ll ask and it’s really cute

“babe have you seen my glasses?” he’s literally tearing up his room trying to find them and you just look up from his blankets and pause netflix because you’re wearing them

“perhaps...right here?” and he laughs and tries to get them but you roll under the blankets and hide

and he lifts the blankets up and you both start play wrestling and you’re pretty stubborn about keeping them

until he starts tickling you and you scream and kick and laugh

he grabs your hands so you can stop moving and after a while your laughter subsides and you can feel the heat rush to your head because he’s kind of...straddling you...and you’re under him and this a very romantic moment

and he’s like omg...i got this..kiss them...it’ll be great

and he leans in

AND SMASHES HIS FOREHEAD AGAINST YOURS and there’s no kiss because you’re both in pain and he ruined it good job minho you tried

whenever you’re tired or grumpy or just in a bad mood he kisses all over your face and plays with your hair to calm you down

he’s an amazing advice giver...he is so good at sympathizing with people and he really does care

oh he loves all music but on the weekends he usually has some type of oldies playing and you’re trying to read something on your phone and he just saunters into view

“dance with me!” and you’re like uh no that’s not happening

“that’s too bad i guess i’ll have to teach you how.” and he just puts your phone down and tugs you up with him

you’re a little clumsy at first but eventually get the simple two step and sway down and it’s so cute and he’s like an actual prince while you’re both dancing

he looks so happy and looks at you like you’re so precious

when you finally have him meet your parents they realize it’s true...he’s perfect. lee minho is perfect everyone

jeongin is like oh yes i told you so

sometimes minho gets sensitive because he’s critical of himself and doesn’t want to put his burdens on you because he feels like he has to take care of you and shouldn’t ask for anything in return

but every time he says that you just hug him really hard and kiss the tip of his nose gently and tell him that’s not true and a relationship has to work on both sides so he has to be open with you

sometimes it leads to arguments between the both of you and it’s really tense but after some hours pass you both realize your mistakes and apologize to each other and promise to try to understand each other more

one day while you’re watching a movie on his couch minho notices how tired you look and gets really affectionate while you lean into his chest and just curl up to him

and he tilts your head up because he really wants to kiss you but remembers what happened last time

“okay...i’m going in” and he kisses you and his lips taste like his mint chapstick and it’s so nice and gentle

and once he pulls away you burst into laughter

“stop don’t laugh at me” and he’s worried you’re laughing because it was bad or regrettable

“i’m laughing because you said ‘i’m going in’, you’re so cute.” and he just gets all quiet because you’re supposed to be getting showered in affection not him

minho really loves when you compliment and fawn over him because he never is kind to himself and when you do it he truly believes it

every day he is thankful to have met jeongin because not only did he befriend an amazing kid but he got to meet the love of his life

[spiritcc]

Sherlock Holmes in Russia

For a country that the rest of the world completely overlooks when it comes to cinematography, Russia has contributed surprisingly quite a few adaptations to the Sherlock Holmes franchise, much to ACD’s dismay. Since you guise like lists with links and I’m very conveniently blogging about all kinds of Russian SH exclusively, I thought hey, why not make a comprehensive guide to Sherlock Holmes in Russia. 

Russians grasped the concept of the hot British detective back when the stories were still fresh and funky, so the hysteria had a pretty early start already. The every-man, the smartest boy in town, the Sasuke to 2010′s tumblr: Sherlock Golmes

As per the fantabulous tradition, Holmes in the early translations fell under the H=G train just like Garry Potter and sir Genry, but well, they recovered soon, although the early history still remembers this weird phenomenon of Sherlock Golmes (or Golmts) in pre-revolution Russia. 

Contains: pre-revolution grammar, Golmts, Vhatson 

Theater soon caught up with the obsession, which resulted in Boris Glagolin securing his place as the first Russian Holmes on stage

Which in return, gave birth to the first still existing content:

Sherlock Holmes stage adaptations

Badly translated by yours truly. 

You’d think they would just adapt the canon like normal people do, but jesus christ, in every story Holmes, that very same dude with no social life and couch as his best friend, keeps going all the way to freaking Russia to search for rich people’s missing jewelry. I am not joking in the slightest right now, the read will be wild. Interestingly enough, there is a strong sense of revolution already lingering in those plays, granted it’s 1906 onwards, if you follow me on this adaptational adventure you’ll see that Russians are really influenced by the mood of the country when creating new Holmes content. But it’s here already: some British detective suddenly involved in Russian drama of diamonds and freedom.

Contains: Holmes’ wife, MARIANI, explosions, first femlock, jewelry kinks, MOTHER RUSSIA

After this there was quite a long silence with lots of theater adaptations passing by without much notice. One of those highlights must be Vasily Lanovoy, THIS freaking man:

saying that yes he probably did play Holmes at some point, but he forgot when and how. Fuckin fantastic, Lanovoy, thnx for the input.     

This continued up to 1971 even, when a few plays turned out to be so good they were honoured to get filmed for national television. This is how the earliest tv-adaptation has reached us, avocado millennials:

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1971): 1 | 2

No subtitles and never will be while I remain a proud man with standards. 

This play is interesting because it’s the forbidden content tumblr craves for: all three plays were put on a shelf after one actor who played Watson in the Hound escaped abroad, and were never shown since. Decades later the Hound was miraculously discovered intact, restored and made available once again. That’s the sole interesting thing about this adaptation. 

It is what you expect it to be: a two and a half hours tedious exactest motherfucking adaptation ever, you don’t even need subtitles for this, you only need to whip out your book, because every single freaking line is 100% according to text, but in Russian. It is what it is, what can I say, although it still has its own weird things like Frankland missing completely. 

Contains: Henry and Watson sharing a bed, Mortimer touching Holmes’ skull, 2h30min of peaceful sleep while it plays 

Everything went quiet until 1979 when things just decided to explode all at once, but I’ll start with what I at least think came first. In the span of the same year, Hound ‘71 got shelved, a Christmas Holmes musical came out, and as the final kick into the grave - that very Soviet Holmes series.

So, The Blue Carbuncle (1979) YT | Drive    

I think this is the best adaptation on this pitiful planet because no other Holmes movie can inhale weed into your eyes right through the screen just as hard as this vid can. It’s fantastic how little it cares about canon and everything holy about Sherlock Holmes in general. Moreover, it’s a freaking Christmas musical shot for a country that doesn’t celebrate Christmas. It’s truly a gift for the mankind and has the lowest rating among all Russian SH adaptations because after finishing it, your eyes are so cloudy with weed you’re very likely to miss that deserved 10/10 with your trembling hands. Also, sneaky Igor Dmitriev somehow managed to star both in this shite, and the unholy Soviet series simultaneously as a villain and Inspector Gregson respectively. I have two sides indeed. 

Contains: the least Holmes-looking Holmes you’ll ever see, off-key singing, the canon story with a twist, Shakespeare banter. 

And here comes the blissful times of what is considered the best adaptation produced in Russia: 

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson (1979 - 1986)

Subtitled poorly and uploaded in ever poorer quality by our beloved Lenfilm. Lenfilm: we hate the content we produce. 

The last video in the playlist is both Hound episodes in bluray tho

This series is distinct by how very warm, healthy and snuggly it is, as they wanted to tell a story about friendship and better people. It is pretty close to canon, but granted it’s five movies in two parts mostly (as the majority of Soviet television adaptations went), they do combine, twist and turn things a bit. If you’re looking for faithful canon with no toxic sociopathic bs, lots of fun, heart-clutching and incredible music - that’s the series you will go to. This series is the sole GIANT Holmes thing in Russia and its influence is as big as ever, which sure has its ups and downs. 

If you want to continue your course along the *Russians influenced by their times* theme, do pay attention to how English people and their interactions are represented, and especially note the sudden shift in mood of the last two episodes that were made right when Perestroika hit. People having no idea what life beyond the curtain looked like making up a dignified fantasy vs confronting worrying change. It’s subtle, but it’s there, pretty interesting as well. 

Contains: lots of hugs, dead dogs, killer jams, Mycroft under a table, sir Henry and Watson getting smashed 

*it might be worth noting that the same director decided to re-release the series weirdly in 2000 as a show about ACD hating life, Holmes and everything around him. The show mixed heartwarming series with the new hate, was aired like twice in its lifetime and is more remembered for all the lawsuits more than anything. But I respect Alexey Petrenko way too much to keep quiet about it.

After that we suddenly dipped into animation, resulting in 

Sherlock Holmes and I (1986) short with Livanov as Holmes, subs provided. 

A quick nonsensical story about Holmes and his best friend dog Tom. Yes. Has pretty killer electronic music and surprisingly famous actors on voicing for something this tiny. 

Contains: a universe where Watson was never born, crocodile eating a banana, a dog having a mansion and Holmes still searching for pennies under his couch to afford a shitflat on 221Bitch Broke street. 

After this new times hit big time, resulting in one of the first femlocks in the world:

My Dearly Beloved Detective (1986): YT | Drive

Youtube blocked the youtube vid hard recently, so it’s resting on google docs, subs provided. 

I personally very love this movie as again it’s very healthy and non-toxic, very warm, all around the place, and yes, Holmes and Watson are women. Consider this movie the Soviet series’ little sister as it’s fully acknowledging Livanov, imitates its camera tricks and uses the same score granted the same composer is involved once again. Actually, that composer worked on all three adaptations, aka this movie, the series and the carbuncle. Wild stuff. 

The movie is obviously not that fantastic and is safely forgotten in Russia, but I love it dearly nonetheless, and love it even more for how healthy it shows relationships getting sorted.

Contains: best Lestrade ever, crossdressing, bubble games, reused locations. 

That was the last Soviet contribution as the next adaptation wouldn’t come out until 2005. Rest in pieces USSR, you were the golden age of Russian movies. 

The next two dip us back into animation once again and are technically Ukrainian, but anyways. It’s the 

Murder of Lord Waterbrook (2005) time, subs provided.

The short bases its characters on the Soviet series and slays them ruthlessly in the most hilarious fashion. Everyone is a fun idiot, everyone is a murder suspect, occasionally gay stomps in. Also, the short, save for the female roles, was voiced by one single guy. Tumblr will love the fact that this guy is the voice of Shrek in the Russian dub, so the cartoon was always in safe hands. 

Contains: the origin of the gloryhole gif, tasty steak, 360p

Flash forward to 2013 and the same guys made this cartoon into a mini-series that we have also translated: 

Sherlock Holmes and the Little Black Men (2013).  

Six episodes add up to about 40min of overall watch time and follow a story with lots of canon and Soviet series references, more cool artstyle, music and jokes. Such a pity it’s so grossly overlooked as the cartoon is great fun and was made with love. Also, Shrek is back. 

Contains: stupid Watson, cliffhangers, Totoro cameo 

And here comes the last contribution to date, the very awesome

Sherlock Holmes (2013) series, subtitled with love. 

This series, in my opinion, is a peak adaptation on topic *what if everything written in canon stories is bs*: it rewrites all the characters and the narrative from scratch, toys brilliantly with canon, references and easter eggs most of the previous Russian adaptations and a few Western ones, it’s incredibly well thought out and rewatching it at least once is a must because the plot is so ace and required double checking to understand it fully. It contains incredible acting, very consistent character traits, the bestest Watson to date and very entertaining stories. 

Also, concluding so far the *big Russian Mood(tm)* arc, this series is blatantly, as confirmed by the director, about modern Russian social and political issues: bribery, racism, law meaning nothing, you name it. It’s a very good series and it deserves all the attention in the world. 

Contains: british trump, bimbom bramsel, loser holmes, basil rathbone 

And the last but not least: 

this hilarious parody on classic, RDJ and BBC Holmes made by the parody show that knew it all too much. Don’t consider yourself a true Holmes fan if you’ve never seen it.

Contains: Lady Gaga, special subtitled gaze, “deduction”.

So here it is, the more or less comprehensive guide on all Russian Sherlock Holmes stuff I know, or at least consider important enough to mention. If you want to do some good old piracy, I always have the page ready with all the subs and best torrents.    

It is indeed quite a few adaptations for a country so far away and wild, isn’t it. 

[askdurianrider]

YO response to bonnyrebeccas tumblr about rt4 & your advice??

1. Im glad that Bonny answers some questions but it doesnt look like her energy is that good because she only answers a handful of questions per week, uploads every now and then and just seems to sit around watching repeats of The Lion King. When she was carbing up she was traveling around, doing more content, got her book out and was HEAPS fitter than she is today. 

2. I base my advice on results. Im performance focused. If someone claims they feel better or worse then we look at what performances they did on certain diets/mindsets and then check them today or vice versa. I was talking to Bonny the other day about certain things. It was a long conversation but I didnt ask these questions. Maybe she can elaborate more? I know when I added in more daily fat over 100g that my legs felt really ‘blocked’ on the bike the next day and trying to hit 400w for 5 mins just felt impossible. I also felt more attraction to stimulants like caffeine etc. Like a daily attraction just to do everyday stuff that doesnt even require stimulants! xD

3. Bonny didnt give us any specific cal, carb or fat intakes so it is a bit confusing to the viewer what exactly is different? Was it more cals, more fat grams and less cals or eating at different times of the day and how are we measuring performance gains or losses? 

4. Ive been coaching friends on fitness since 1996. Started as a PT in the gym back in 1999. I worked in sports footwear and cycling industry for many years. FADS come and go and industry makes xyz claim BUT Ive learned to sniff out what real results are and what is just fake. Nike claiming their shoes are faster when we know they are being worn by doped athletes just is bullshit. Put those shoes on the average punter and there is zero objective performance increase lol.

5. Give me anyone and I will turn them into their fittest self. Tori is fitter now after just a few months of playing around on the bike than when she was at the sports institute for rowing and guided by professional state coaches. Granted she lives with me so I can monitor her biological read out every hour of the day and adjust diet and training accordingly but you get the picture - Im not bound by institution or government ‘guidelines’. I have freedom to experiment and show people the results. Some people like to pretend that Im ‘fixed and bound’ to my own guide lines but Im not. Ive eaten so much vegan junk food on camera, experimented with steroids etc and poured 300g of sugar onto a 500g packet of kellogs sustain cereal to show people ‘how it affected my blood values in a negative way’ (it didnt and I had one of the strongest rides of my life the next day)

6. I know so many crew who claim to eat one way but eat another way because they are scared of losing customers. I know so many people who still have raging eating disorders and they hide it under ‘allergies’ etc. (Just to be clear Im NOT saying FL or Bonny had ED, in my honest opinion they don’t and living with FL I can honestly say she does eat a lot but when snacking on fatty stuff, she will limit it heavily but try a small amount).

7. Many people say some of the skinny girls on youtube etc have ED and whilst that may be true for some, it isnt true for the people that I promote. As soon as I hear wind of someone starving, Im all over them and making sure Im not promoting their bad example. Fuck man, life is hard enough without trying to get thru the day glucose exhausted and undercarbed AF.

8. I could get Bonny so fucking fit and toned. Bonny hasnt coached anyone to incredible results. I mean she could if she used my program and so could FL but neither girls do coaching and if they do, they are only parroting my template and Im not going to sue them for that haha.  Im SO happy people spreading the high carb vegan word man! I mean Bonny going to give a refund for all those people who bought her high carb book? Stephanie? Freelee? Don’t think so bro. 

9. People change, beliefs change. Human physiology laws dont though. Give me ANYONE and I can have them earning good money on social media, have them the fittest they have ever been (drug free) and have them more relaxed and confident about themselves and life than they ever thought was possible. Also they will NEVER have to worry about getting fat ever again! 

10. To be objective critiques people need to read my 2 ebooks. Some say I recommend this or that but what I rate is in text and in my 2 ebooks. I recommend a LIFESTYLE based on quality sweet fruit IF you can get it. Supplement those cals each day with refined sugars and processed starches like rice, wheat, quinoa, corn, potatoes, yams etc. I say processed because when you cook something is is NOT a whole food! A whole food is an apple. You can drink more apples than you can eat a raw one. You can eat more cooked rice than raw rice. You can eat an INSANE amount of yams, sweet potatoes, corn if it is cooked vs raw aka you will GET WAY MORE CARBS SO YOU CAN GET LIFE FUCKING DONE! (Where is the discussion about training? Like why are people driving cars in Sydney when it is faster to just ride down the road vs store body fat, pollute the earth by sitting in a car that kill children, pets and wildlife every day?)

For those obsessed with just diet diet diet the TRUE WHOLE food DIEt is raw fruit. Just pick up a peach and eat it. That is a whole food!. (Whole food is NOT cooked food lol!)

A diet high in processed foods is essentially what I recommend.

Cooked starches aka rice of any kind, pasta.

Fruit smoothies.

Refined sugars aka dried fruit, cane sugar, fructose syrup, rice cakes etc.

Processed fats like tofu, oil, nut butters etc are good if you are getting too skinny or you have no heart disease risk. I eat them when Im looking to gain a bit of fat or not drop weight too fast because Im riding my bike more than sitting my undercarbed ass in a car. #irony

Bottom line I DONT take performance advice from peeps that can’t even post a tumblr question once a day or upload a basic youtube video once a day yet their profession is social media. 

I DONT take performance advice from peeps that wouldnt put a fat person in their instagram shot yet would get dropped by a fat person up a hill on a bike.

People can critique my lifestyle advice (I dont do diets man, it is LIFESTYLE I teach) but fuck, at least so us some epic shit or epic transformations of people you have coached. Im running a 6 week festival this year in Thailand essentially on my own. You think Im gonna do that eating a mouse sized acai bowl I just paid $40 for from some hipster cafe in Bondi where you could drop 100$ on the ground and nobody would notice because they are too busy looking at their phones, their reflections in the window or at other hipsters hair cuts and analyzing the bondi sands tans. 😂

To be continued….

[adorkablephil]

Fic: Terrarium

Summary: Dan builds a terrarium after a difficult week, but tragedy strikes. Rating: G Word Count: 2114 Genre(s): Fluff, hurt/comfort, friendship, romance if you squint Trigger Warnings: None Author’s Note: Thank you to my muse, @vivianadichiara, for the original germ of the idea! Also on AO3 here

Terrarium

It had been a hard week for Dan: a tiring week, a draining week. He’s the sort of person who needs a lot of down time, a lot of time to just soak in solitude and peace, and he hadn’t been getting a lot of that lately.

I think he was already in a slightly fragile place because of the holidays. Gamingmas had been fun but demanding, and then he’s never in the best shape emotionally after spending time with his family. I don’t think they understand him very well, and they don’t tend to give him much time alone, so I think it’s a little overwhelming. I can understand it—they don’t see him often and so they want to talk to him while they can—but it seems to usually leave him fairly drained. I think this year it was helped by the new family dog, because that’s all Dan could talk about when he got home. He seemed to derive a lot of peace and relaxation from just cuddling the dog.

I wish we could get a dog. Maybe when I stop killing the houseplants and Dan starts remembering to use lip balm. Maybe when we aren’t so busy. I really wish we could have a dog. I think it would make us both so happy. And I think it would be good for Dan.

But back to Dan’s difficult week. He hadn’t been back from his family visit long before he began work on his meme video, and I have to admit I didn’t think that was the best idea. He was already seeming a little emotionally fragile, and now here he was actively asking his viewers to mock him. Sure, he enjoys mocking himself—making all those little sarcastic, self-deprecating comments both privately and publicly—but I know he’s more sensitive than he likes to admit.

He spent five days going through the memes that viewers submitted. He just ensconced himself in his sofa crease and scrolled and scrolled. I supplied him with Ribena several times a day, but he rarely moved except to make dinner each night. I’m a hazard in the kitchen and a rubbishy cook, but Dan’s pretty good at it, so he tends to cook for us more than I do. He seems to find cooking relaxing, too, so it seemed like a good counterbalance to the meme work.

During those five days, as I sat beside him on the sofa or wandered in and out of the lounge, I often heard him laughing out loud at his laptop, but just as often heard him sigh or saw his mouth turn down at the edges and his forehead wrinkle a little in that way I hate to see.

The fans’ mockery of his peace signs seemed to hit him hardest. I knew he was uncomfortable having his picture taken—never feeling entirely comfortable with his physical appearance or his status as a “famous person,” and I knew he felt especially awkward about his deep dimple, which he tends to turn away from the camera—and the peace sign was a way he felt like he could take control of the uncomfortable situation and turn his “fame” into something ironic, making fun of himself before anybody else could do it. But he ended up relying on it so heavily that it stopped being ironic and the fans had begun to actively make fun of him for it. I could tell he felt almost like a security blanket had been yanked away from him. What was he going to do now when fans wanted photos? I’m always fine with just smiling and hugging them, but Dan gets so awkward. I felt bad for him. Then a fan posted a photo of him on Twitter giving a thumbs up, and that was mocked as well. Dan tweeted a response asking if he should just cut his arms off and would that make everyone happy, and I knew there was more bitterness in the words than he probably would like anyone to know.

After five days of scrolling through the memes, he had chosen a few and recorded his video. He seemed exhausted afterward, not wanting to cook dinner that night, so we just phoned out for pizza. He barely spoke to me, just watching the television and eating silently. I left him to his quiet.

He spent the entire next day editing the video. He settled himself in front of the computer for a good twelve hours, and I could hear him grumbling and talking to himself while he worked. Eventually, he seemed satisfied with the result and set it to start uploading and emerged from the room like a bear leaving his cave.

It was another pizza night.

We’d gotten tickets for the Harry Potter play, and I’d hoped that would be something that would help take Dan’s mind off his own issues for a while. I completely lost myself into that fictional world, but Dan seemed restless beside me. I think he was distracted by the fan who sat beside us, watching our every move and facial expression. I tried to just ignore her and enjoy the show, but Dan seemed self-conscious and uncomfortable, perhaps because he was already feeling sensitive to fans’ invasiveness after dealing with the memes? At any rate, Dan didn’t seem to find the entire day and evening of Potterdom as enjoyable as I did, and I wondered what I could do to help. It seemed like he was becoming more tightly wound every day.

The Sherlock finale didn’t help. We were both disappointed, but when the episode was over Dan ranted to me for a solid two hours about how it had ruined the series for him. He was very worked up.

When the DIY terrarium arrived in the post, I thought it was a perfect solution. “Take some time to yourself,” I suggested. I knew how much he’d been looking forward to crafting his own little world in this glass bubble, a world untouched by fans or fame or expectations. I urged him to spend some time alone in his room, not bothered by even my quiet presence, and express his creativity in this completely different way. “You’ve had a rough week,” I acknowledged, wanting him to know that I understood. “This will do you good.”

He smiled weakly and thanked me, retreating to his bedroom with the large cardboard box in which the terrarium elements had arrived. He was in there for nearly two hours, though I don’t know if he spent the entire time working on his project. I didn’t bother him. That is … until the crash.

It was the saddest crash I’d ever heard, because I knew immediately what it meant.

I ran to his room and stood in the doorway, seeing my friend staring in silent dejection at his bedroom floor. At his feet, a pile of sand, rocks, and shards of glass showed what had happened. He seemed frozen in disbelief and horror, but then he glanced up at me and our eyes met for a long moment. His lips twitched slightly, and I knew that meant he was seeing the humor in the situation. We both began to laugh, and if his laugh gained a hysterical quality after a while I couldn’t blame him.

“Okay,” I said firmly. “You’re going to go play the piano or scroll through Tumblr or play something on the Wii or whatever—something totally relaxing and peaceful—and I’m going to clean up this mess.”

“Phil,” he sighed. “You’ll cut off a hand or something, messing with all this glass.”

“I’ll be careful,” I insisted. “I don’t want you to worry about this. The point of tonight was for you to get some peace, so I want you to do that. Let me deal with this.” He hesitated. “Please?” I asked, my voice soft. I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist that.

“Okay,” he said quietly, his head hanging low. He shuffled out of the room, his shoulders tense and his brow furrowed, but stopped in the doorway to hug me tightly a little longer than usual. He didn’t hug me often, so I relished the contact and hugged him back just as tight.

He wandered off to the lounge and I painstakingly cleaned up the broken pieces of his terrarium. I saved the rocks in case he might want to do something else with them, but threw out the moss and sand and broken glass. I was careful not to cut myself, not wanting to give him something else to worry or feel bad about.

When I’d hoovered thoroughly and his bedroom floor was as clean as before the terrarium tragedy—possibly cleaner—I walked into the lounge to see him slouched on the sofa, his laptop on his knees. I glanced at the screen and saw that he was scrolling through an aesthetic blog on Tumblr.

“Are you wanting to be on your own?” I asked gently, not wanting to invade his solitude if he needed time alone, but his face when he glanced up at me was filled with a deep sadness I couldn’t resist. I immediately sat beside him and pulled him into my arms. He hugged me tight again and I heard him sniff into my shoulder. I didn’t let him go for a long time, feeling his back shake with his silent tears. I waited until his body was still again and then slowly released him, pulling away slightly to let him wipe the moisture from his face. I was glad he didn’t look embarrassed. He could always cry in front of me—he knew I would never judge him or mock him for anything. I would always accept him, just as he is.

I had an idea. “Remember back when you were in uni, when you would come visit me in my flat?” I asked him. He looked confused for a moment, not knowing where I was going with this. He nodded. “Remember how you would sleep in my bed with me?” He smiled slightly and nodded again. With his reddened eyes, that small smile looked beautiful, like sun peeking from behind heavy clouds. “Want to come cuddle with me in my bed for a while?”

It was a risky suggestion. Cuddling wasn’t something we’d done in a long time, not since the fan shipping had made such behavior seem like it meant something more serious than either of us felt comfortable contemplating, let alone initiating. But this seemed like the moment, a moment when I just wanted to hold Dan in my arms and make him feel safe and loved and accepted and understood. And maybe a moment when he would be able to accept that kind of comfort from me.

He bit his lip for a moment, and I noticed that his lips were chapped again. He doesn’t take care of himself as well as he should. That’s why I need to step in sometimes. He hesitated a long moment, then nodded slightly, his eyes downcast.

I didn’t take his hand or anything so intimate. I just stood and turned to walk to my room, turning back  once to make sure he was following, which he was, his eyes still on the floor, tears visible in them again. When I got to my room, I turned back the duvet and climbed in fully clothed, and he followed me with no further hesitation but then seemed uncertain what to do. I pulled the duvet up to cover us and then wrapped him in my arms, pulling him close to me so that his head rested on my chest near my shoulder, his forehead pressed to my chin and his short hair tickling my cheek. He wrapped an arm around my waist and scooted closer so that his body pressed against my side all the way down to our socked feet. He was warm and soft against me, and I closed my eyes to focus on the way he felt in my arms as his shoulders begin to quake slightly again and felt moisture begin to wet my t-shirt. I tightened my arms around him and let him cry as long as he needed.

Slowly, his body stilled, and I eventually realized that he had fallen into a peaceful sleep. It was early in the evening for either of us to go to bed, but nothing on earth would have persuaded me to wake him in that moment, so I just held him gently, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, and gave him some of the peace that he needed.