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ruddygore · 2 years

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All the way back in April, Penny (@hiss-and-vinegar) and Ruddy had a talk about good behavior, as father and son. Good behavior, and parenthood in the face of adversity.

Penley Dreadful had been waiting in his estate, kind of pacing actually--It seemed that Ruddy wanted to speak to him, and well, he had to make sure he was presentable. Wearing his usual attire but just recently pressed and smartened up. He adjusts his bowtie, flexes his hood and continues to slimther about the entry lobby. The party had been oh so much fun, with much quality entertainment!

Ruddy arrived precisely fifteen minutes after he said he would, as any polite Victorian gentleman was expected to. Some habits were harder to kill than he'd been, it seemed. A moment to smooth down his suit, and a quick check that his shirt was properly closed over his deadened eye so he didn't accidentally traumatize anyone, and he raises a hand to tap a knuckle against the front door. Say hello to papa, Penny.

Papa! Penny looks way too excited for a moment before he clears his throat, adjusts his suit, and opens the door, one hand behind his back. "GREETINGSSS, SSSIR PENTIOUSSSS. WHAT BRINGSSS YOU TO MY MOSSST FEARSSSSOME ABODE?" He'll never stop being excited about his estate. He slithers out of the way, "PLEASE, COME IN, I'VE DISSSABLED MY TRAPSSSS TODAY!"

In Penny's defense, it's a very fine estate. Ruddy admires it every time he visits, including now, ducking through the front door as he slithers past his alternate to fill the entryway with far too many coils of snerson. "VERY KIND OF YOU, MY BOY. I CAME HERE TO SPEAK TO YOU ON A MATTER THAT, IN RETROSPECT, IS EXTREMELY AMUSING. I THINK YOU'LL SEE THE HUMOR IN IT ONCE I BEGIN, BUT WE SHOULD FIND SOMEWHERE TO SIT FIRST."

Oh? An amusing matter? Penny tilts his head a little, his hood sliding over his shoulder like gorgeous locks of black hair. Hmm. He makes a bit of a face, but once again that devilish smiley face returns, and he slithers towards the drawing room, "YESS, THISS WAY, THISS WAY. I'VE HAD EVERYTHING CLEANED UP. THE CHILDREN ARE WITH VALERA TODAY--PLAYING IN THE GARDEN, I THINK. MY DEARESSST EELIZZY DOES NOT WANT TO PART FROM HER PAPA, BUT, YOU KNOW, I AM A BUSY MAN. SSSSTILL, IT PAINSS ME TO HEAR HER CRY. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT WITH SSSO MANY CHILDREN, FATHER." A little sigh, and Penny gestures to the grandiose sofas, perfect for snersons to settle. "PLEASE, SSSIT WHEREVER YOU LIKE."

Ruddy nods sympathetically, following behind Penny. "TINY LITTLE BABY DAUGHTERS AND THEIR FATHERS ARE DIFFICULT TO PART ONCE PROPERLY BONDED, IT'S TRUE." A pause as he settles his long self on one of the sofas, coiling the end of his tail around one of the legs as he gets good and comfy. "I LOATHED IT SO MUCH THAT I MADE A LITTLE PAPOOSE OUT OF LEATHER AND BRASS AFTER MY FIRST DAUGHTER WAS BORN, SO I COULD KEEP HER CLOSE WHILE I DID THE MORE TEDIOUS, LESS DANGEROUS TASKS IN MY WORKSHOP. THOUGH I HAD TO BUILD A SECOND AFTER THE FIRST SET OF TWINS WERE BORN. IT WAS WELL WORTH THE TROUBLE, OF COURSE, BUT GOODNESS WAS IT AN ADJUSTMENT." He can't let himself get caught up in nostalgia, he came here for a reason after all. So reluctantly, he waves a hand to dismiss the topic. "BUT I DIDN'T CALL ON YOU TODAY TO CHATTER YOUR... LACK OF EAR OFF, OVER MY PAST. NO, I CAME TO YOU TO SPEAK OF OUR ALTERNATE AND RECENT EVENTS."

Penny did have a papoose that he wore with MUCH pride--but he really didn't want to accidentally set his daughter on fire, so Eelizzy had to not be in the workshop sometimes. The topic change had Penny sit up a bit more straight after he'd settled on the opposing sofa, waving at his eggbois to prepare tea. "OUR ALTERNATE? WHICH ONE? THERE'SSSS... TELLY AND..." Scwunch. Smug! Scwunch. Smug! "THAT NEW ONE!"

"THAT NEW ONE, YES. HE GOES BY PENT. THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY NAMES YOU CAN TEASE OUT OF OUR SHARED TITLE, I SUPPOSE. WE'LL HAVE TO START GETTING MORE CREATIVE IF ANY MORE OF THEM SHOW UP." A shrug. "I CAME TO SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT HIM, AND THE WAY YOU WERE OPENLY ANTAGONIZING HIM AT MY PARTY. AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, I KNOW IT'S PENTIOUS TRADITION TO SQUABBLE AMONGST OURSELVES. EVEN YOU AND I DID IT, AS YOU RECALL." He raises an eyebrow at Penny, his hat looking more amused than anything.

..... Oh. Whatever sort of smug energy Penny had settled on quickly deflated like a wet balloon, his posture somewhat trampled as his hands wrung together. "I WASS JUSSSST AIMING TO HAVE A BIT OF FUN, SSEE WHAT KIND OF MAN HE ISS! I WAS GOING TO SSTOP, BUT HE INSSSULTED EELIZZY AND IT BECAME A MATTER OF PERSSSSSONAL PRIDE!" Okay, maybe he wouldn't have stopped, but being honest and forthcoming was NOT a Penley Dreadful strength.

Ruddy frowns as he watches Penny deflate, hands itching to reach over and pat his son to offer some comfort, even if he was most likely lying. Pent insulting Eelizzy had been more than enough to earn Penny some leeway in acting like a little shit. "I UNDERSTAND, MY DEAR BOY. TRULY. HE WAS EXTREMELY RUDE, BRINGING YOUR CHILD INTO IT THE WAY HE DID. EELIZZY WAS A DELIGHT AND BEHAVED WELL FOR THE ENTIRE PARTY, HE SHOULD HAVE KEPT HIS DAMN MOUTH SHUT ABOUT HER." A pause, and he leans in towards Penny, softening his voice. As much as he could at least, considering the both of them were so pitchy and loud. "HOWEVER. YOU DID ANTAGONIZE HIM FIRST. REPEATEDLY. HE WENT FOR A LOW BLOW, BUT YOU DROVE HIM TO IT BY NEEDLING HIM RELENTLESSLY. YOU KNOW YOU'D HAVE DONE THE SAME IF NOT WORSE, IF HE'D TALKED TO YOU THE WAY YOU SPOKE TO HIM."

Ohh. He was in trouble, wasn't he... Penny scwunches, his neck disappearing into his shoulders for a few seconds before he sits up straighter. "YESS, YESS I DID. IT WASS ALL MEANT IN GOOD FUN. TO TOUGHEN HIM UP! WE HAVE A... A THING GOING, A RIVALRY... WOULD YOU HAVE ME APOLOGIZE?? TO A SSSSIR PENTIOUSSSSS?"

"DID HE AGREE TO THIS THING, MY BOY? BECAUSE FROM WHAT I HEARD FROM HIM, HE WAS THIS CLOSE TO ATTEMPTING TO LEAP ACROSS THE TABLE TO MAUL YOU. I WOULD GREATLY PREFER EELIZZY NOT HAVE TO SEE HER FATHER GET ATTACKED BY ANOTHER HIM, IMAGINE THE CONFUSION." Okay but the mental image is a little funny, until he thinks about how the tiny little thing would probably start wailing ten seconds in. He shakes his head. "I WONT MAKE YOU APOLOGIZE, PENNY. BUT I ASK THAT IF YOU SEE HIM AT ONE OF MY EVENTS, YOU KEEP SOME MANNERS ABOUT YOU. WHAT YOU DO OUTSIDE OF MY PARTIES THOUGH, IS ENTIRELY YOUR BUSINESS."

He invoked Eelizzy, and that has Penny fidgeting. Oh no. He didn't want to make the bébé cry... he hadn't even thought how fighting with his alternates looked from her perspective... MUCH TO THINK ABOUT... All of his eyes just, shift to the side, feeling immensely uncomfortable. "YESS, QUITE, SSSIR PENTIOUSSSS. I SHALL BEAR THAT IN MIND...."

Ruddy nods, satisfied with Penny's current level of discomfort as soon as he thought about his tiny noodle child. Good, think about your child even though it sucks to have to regulate yourself around Certain Individuals. Know his pain, welcome to fatherhood. If he survived a lifetime without punching his father in law, Penny could survive an alternate of himself. Probably. "I KNOW PERFECTLY WELL HOW ANNOYING WE CAN BE, DON'T MISUNDERSTAND. BUT YOUR DAUGHTER WILL SEE THE WAY YOU TALK TO... WELL. YOURSELF? AND THE LAST THING WE NEED IS HER INTERNALIZING THE VERY LITERAL FORM OF SELF LOATHING WE SEEM TO BE INFECTED WITH. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE THE BIGGER SNAKE IN MORE THAN JUST SIZE, I'M AFRAID."

Gulp.... He looks at his hands, imagining little Eelizzy there, smiling up at him the way she does. And he sighs, hood drooping comically. "YESS... YES IT WOULD SSSEEEM I MUSSST.... FOR THE SSSSAKE OF MY CHILDREN.... WHY MUSSST PEOPLE BE SSSO SSSENSITIVE?" Says Penny, the most sensitive.

He is biting his tongue to keep from saying anything about Penny's own sensitivity. It's not like he's actually any better, just more self aware. The struggle of being the "mature" alternate. So instead he nods, the picture of sympathy. "I'D SAY BAD PARENTING, IF ANYTHING. IF YOU RAISE A CHILD POORLY, THEY'LL RAISE THEIR CHILD POORLY, SO ON AND SO FORTH. AND GOODNESS KNOWS NOBODY CAN PARENT WORTH A DAMN THESE DAYS, EVERYONE I MEET HAS SOME KIND OF DADDY ISSUE."

..... CALLED TF OUT. Penny sits up so straight there's a comical whobbly paper sound. "RIGHT, WELL, I WILL SSSORT OUT THISSSS SSSITUATION, SSSIR PENTIOUSSSS. THANK YOU FOR BRINGING IT TO MY ATTENTION."

"OF COURSE, MY DEAR BOY." Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't even giggle. Ignore the dainty little cough, he's just clearing his throat. "THAT IS ALL I CAME FOR, BUT I THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO LISTEN. SUCH THINGS ARE ALWAYS UNPLEASANT TO SPEAK OF AND EVEN LESS TO HEAR. WHO WANTS TO HEAR THAT THEY HAVE TO BE THE MATURE ONE IN A SQUABBLE? AWFUL."

"YESS, IT'SSSS TRULY AN EMBARRASSING PREDICAMENT TO FIND MYSELF IN, BUT I'LL DO IT, FOR MY CHILDREN." He does not recognize the irony. He straightens up, standing, "SHALL I SSEE YOU OUT THEN?"

He stands in turn, smoothing down his lapels and turning to start slithering for the door. "NO NEED TO TROUBLE YOURSELF MY BOY, I KNOW THE WAY. BE SURE TO TELL EELIZZY I SAID HELLO."

"I SHALL!" He calls, and then once it's clear that Ruddy has gone, he sits MISERABLY on the sofa, before draping himself over it. Oh woe is he. Having to apologize to that... Ugh. UGH! Truly, this was a fate worse than anything. Not that Ruddy said he HAD to apologize, but if he didn't want Eelizzy to hate herself, probably better that he did.

#ooc #rp log #hiss-and-vinegar

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devilgem-archive · 5 years

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Can we hear more about the swap au?

yes absolutely!!!i got some basic info for the ones with distinct roles (most of which are based off personal hcs ive conjured in chats) the rest will come as soon as i have concrete stories for them!!

the story revolves around angel, an ex-mobster slash p*rn star, who decides to abandon his vices to better himself and those around him. because he lacks a higher status in hell’s society, he has a harder time gathering funds and support, so his hotel is a lot more run down compared to canon charlie’s. many dub him as a “nobody trying to be somebody”

ANGEL DUST

swaps with charlie

gay trans man

grew up in a mob family during the 30s-40s. his relationship with his family remains difficult

he’s a lot more optimistic here, still values innocence and all the littlest things that make the world go ‘round. he’s still angel dust tho,therefore has moments where he’s just a plain jackass

continued his line of Shady Work in the afterlife for survival. retired decades later to pursue his Dream Project in running a rehabilitation center in the form of a hotel. the public was baffled at his choice to step down from crime, why give up all of that for…this? is he stupid? whatever respect they held for him was snuffed out quickly and angel became a laughing stock

is very much aware of the doubts, even those of his friends’ and frankly…it stings. tries to mask it with sunshine and rainbows

still struggles with addictions + suffers from episodes of alcohol withdrawal himself. despite everything he keeps pushing forward- lowkey has a habit of brushing off his own problems in favor of others’

CHERRI BOMB

swaps with vaggie

trans lesbian

was an orphan in life, turned to crime as a bomb specialist as she grew

had canon!cherri’s personality and appearance up until angel made his ambitions known; she chopped her hair short and sports a more formal fashion to honor his new passion

is best friends with angel and looks up to him like a father. while she does offer her best support, she is not without doubts regarding the hotel’s success. not that she’d outright say it ofc

despite her own concerns, she wont hesitate to fuck up anyone who insults or otherwise jeopardizes angel’s hotel

she jokingly suggested angel turn to the princess of hell for assistance…only for the man himself to take it as serious advice. angel dust is a synonym for absolutely fucking stupit

CHARLIE

swaps with angel

bi trans girl

the princess of hell. an absolute bratty delinquent who loves using her status to get what she wants– or get away with the trouble she stirred up

only cared about her status, wealth and vaggie before the hotel.

she’s the carlyle to angel’s barnum

angel sought her out for support–though she initially snorted at the very idea of a rehabilitation center in hell,she found herself begrudgingly funding the hotel. even checked in as the very first patient, fun for the entire family huh.

she truly has a heart of gold beneath the hardass exterior and it gradually shines through the more time she spends at the hotel

VAGGIE

swaps with cherri

lesbian + demigirl

is charlie’s girlfriend and partner in crime. together, theyre ur typical Mean Girls that enjoy making snide remarks at the expense of others

has an arsenal of knifes and spears she uses to win turf wars and lovingly defend her still-ditzy gf from danger.

is more cool and collected- gotta do what it takes to come out the winner! only loses her temper when her loved ones are threatened/insulted

retains a difficult relationship with angel

only checked into the hotel, which she is skeptical of, to keep charlie company. and to see how fast this dump falls apart lmao

just like charlie, she gradually softens up and befriends the others

ALASTOR

swaps with husk

pan/ace trans man

he is biracial

was an ex-radio host that succumbed to the great depression in Every sense of the word. no really. alastor is a disaster

he pushed away his friends and family and loyal fans that reached out in support, destroying whatever positive relationship he had left. who needs people when you got booze!

is a complete shut in. dont talk to him, do not even look at him.begone thot. remained stubborn at the idea of opening up, even in a place as disgustingly positive as angel’s hotel

1000/10 capable of ripping your guts out if you test him

still enjoys the good thrill of hunting deer every now and then. probably the one thing that makes him feel anything

hates hate HATES the permasmile with every ounce of his being. he wouldn’t be wearing a smile if frowning wasnt so damn painful

SIR PENTIOUS

swaps with katie

bi trans man w a pref for Wahmen

he was a well-known journalist in the 1800s.

in hell, he adapted well enough to have his own “picture news show”

vocally, he isn’t very pleasing to listen to, but! he has a knack for grabbing the most sensational stories to keep the attention of his audience unwavered

has an ego the size of jupiter

is completely uninterested in anything that doesnt give his rep a boost

enjoys sciencey stuff and reviews the latest trends/memes on occasion

mocking the hell out of angel and his stoopid hotel is his second hobby

he has ‘friends’ but rarely, if ever, treats them well

THE EGGBOIS

swap with tom

they all hate penti

penti still enjoys pushing them around. sometimes would use them as anger/stress-relievers

i do not have a lot for them

#askies #anon #headcanons #trash aus #hazbin hotel #hazbinswap au

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maizra · 5 years

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Ernie? If you’re still doing those!

give me a character and i’ll tell you my headcanon for:

i love u chinken boy

What they smell like: like…… expensive cologne, and sweat.

How they sleep (sleeping position, schedule, etc): he sleeps like a rock, and by that i mean its very hard to wake him and also he curls up in a little ball. now then. do u mind if i chickensoup this? im gunna chickensoup it.

everyone thinks he’s such a morning person. first thing they see of him in the morning is this bouncy happy man ready to take on the day. so cheerful. they think, oh, this man must be a morning person.

this is a lie.

the only person who knows this is a lie is mike. because mike has watched him force himself out of bed, a grouchy and grumbly mess. bitter. no words except ‘urghghgughg’ and ‘why, sunshine?’

the ernie everyone else has seen is an ernesto goondis who has been up for two hours and has had two cups of coffee.

ernesto goondis forces himself to be a morning person and mike is fascinated and a bit concerned.

What music they enjoy: the man loves fuckin’ oldies!!!

How much time they spend getting ready every morning: WELL. the better part of two hours. like….. his morning routine isn’t even that much. he just takes so damn long doing everything.

Their favorite thing to collect: hm…. he has a bunch of useless kitchen gadgets….. and i’m counting this as collecting but every time he sees a cat in public he gives it a name and if the situation is right he tries to befriend it.

i’ll be real this is just based on a chicken we had when i was sixteen who would always run up to the cat who would sit on the fence and just…. watch…. never attack… just watching….. anyways. miss u chuck.

Left or right-handed: left handed!!

Religion (if any): :/

Favorite sport: does this man even know what a sport is. we’ll say basketball only because eggboy was voiced by lovely ryan who i guess is basketballboy.

Favorite touristy thing to do when traveling (museums, local food, sightseeing, etc): idk…….. i think he’d like going to local shops and just checking out all that stuff…..

Favorite kind of weather: not rain i’ll tell u that. hmmm… i think he does like just after the rain though, when everything smells fresh and sometimes there’s rainbows.

A weird/obscure fear they have: how many hotdaga refs can i throw into the fears. he does’t eat chili because it freaks him out. (also because he’s vegetarian.)

The carnival/arcade game they always win without fail: milk bottles……… yeah.

#answered #anon #i love my chicken son

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