#((i doubt hes like 'learning' anymore but im sure he goes and works out casually after work. i see him very strongly as someone who likes to

[truckbed]

due to the way jakes character functions ive been having to develop him a bit more than my others before fully being able to pick him up, im being vague mostly because im experimenting with how im portraying certain things in his character but one thing thats really important is a rotating wheel of VERY strong interests.

that being said, Jake was a gymnast at one point

[dessarious]

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt61

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

AO3   Beginning   Previous    Next

Marinette woke to a shouting match between Damian and Chloe. They were in each other’s faces while Luka looked like he’d given up trying to mediate a while ago. He was the only one who noticed she woke and came over to the couch to sit with her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him, tempted to go back to sleep.

“How long have they been at it?” Luka let out a huff of amusement.

“Almost an hour. It started about whether to wake you or not but I very much doubt either of them remembers that now. They’ve blown through quite a few topics since then.” Marinette just sighed and debated if she wanted to intervene. This blow up was a long time coming and it would be better for them to vent their feelings now, before a confrontation with Hawkmoth. She could feel the barrier that Wayzz had put up to prevent an Akuma entering. Possibly even to keep Hawkmoth from sensing their negative emotions in the first place.

“How dare you come in here and think you understand anything that’s been going on after just a few months when Mari’s been dealing with this on her own for two years!” Chloe was so angry she looked on the verge of tears.

“I wasn’t the one who left her alone during those two years!” Marinette jumped up at Damian’s response. Trained assassin or not Chloe was either going to kill him or break down. Either way this needed to stop. She got in between them and shoved Damian back.

“Enough! Both of you. That last comment was uncalled for. You have no idea what Chloe was going through. And you.” She rounded on her girlfriend and pushed her backwards to create more distance. “I appreciate you defending me but I can do that myself. You know better than to argue with someone who just wants to argue. No good will come of bashing your head against a brick wall.” She heard an insulted noise come out of Damian but trusted that Luka would handle it. She knew how much guilt Chloe carried over how she’d treated her and Damian’s last dig was likely to unleash it. Sure enough Marinette could see her fighting back tears.

“I’m sorry.” The words were quiet and she knew Chloe only meant them for her ears. She also knew Chloe wasn’t apologizing for the argument. Marinette wished Damian had chosen any other jab.

“The past is the past. We can’t change it, we can only learn from it. We’ve both done things we regret but letting that define us, or our relationship with each other, will only cause more problems. I know you’re sorry about what happened and I know that you’re not that person anymore. No matter what anyone else thinks.” It was that more than anything that had caused her to ask Chloe to move schools with her. She needed a fresh start even more than Marinette did. She needed a chance to grow out of the box she’d been in her whole life. Chloe took a shuddering breath before leaning into her.

“I’m still sorry.” Marinette could only sigh as she hugged her. She looked over her shoulder to make eye contact with Luka who still had a hold of Damian. Damian, for his part, looked like he was still arguing why he was right about whatever it was they were actually arguing about. Detailing her plan should be lots of fun. At this moment she wished she had anyone else to give a Miraculous to. Damian was unstable at best and she didn’t really trust him to follow her lead. He should be too focused on keeping Luka safe to cause problems, but it was still one more thing she needed to worry about.

“Would you like to hear the actual plan before you decide it’s garbage or do I need to find someone else to have Luka’s back while you’re off pouting?” Yes she was being petty, but it did shut him up and the look of insulted rage on his face was honestly a little funny. Luka just rolled his eyes at her. She and Damian had a rather messed up friendship and he’d learned to roll with it for the most part.

“Given the way you fight I didn’t expect there to be a plan.” He was trying to get to her, and it might have worked if she wasn’t prepared for it, or if there weren’t a lot of holes in the plan she did have. There was still a lot of missing information and they didn’t have time to wait and hope they found it. Gabriel was going to get more desperate by the day now that he lost both Nathalie and the Peafowl Miraculous. They couldn’t give him time to plan.

“The way I fight is because I never know what I’m up against until it happens, unlike you who just keep fighting the same villains over and over again.” The glare he sent her way had likely cowed many of those villains but she just raised an eyebrow at him.

“Fine. What’s this brilliant plan of yours?” He dropped down into a chair, not sulking because as he told her, Damian Wayne doesn’t sulk. Luka sat on the arm and kept a hand firmly on the other boy’s shoulder. Marinette pulled Chloe over to the couch to keep some distance.

“Alright, just keep in mind that we need to act fast so we don’t have time to wait for Gabriel to make a move. Worst case scenario he’ll tell Adrien he’s doing everything to save his mother and Adrien will agree to work with him. That could easily cause another Heroes Day situation and that was bad enough the first time around. Given Gabriel’s overall disdain for his son’s abilities I’m hoping the thought doesn’t even cross his mind but we can’t count on it. As things stand our best option is going to be using Viperion’s ability to fill in any gaps we still have.” She paused, expecting Damian to jump in with a comment but he just continued to frown at her.

“What do you need me to do?” Luka’s voice was steady, no hint of concern. He trusted her, both of her, and it gave her a confidence boost.

“So we have surveillance in Gabriel’s office and thanks to Nathalie we know that’s where he enters his ‘lair’. We wait until he goes in, because that’s where he feels safest. He’s less likely to expect us or more likely to be overconfident which we can use to our advantage. Viperion will set his Second Chance before we enter, before Gabriel knows we’re there. Then, barring us actually getting the Butterfly Miraculous back, he’ll reset before his timer runs out so we can refine our techniques to the actual situation. As many times as it takes. Damian, I’ll be giving you the Turtle Miraculous so you can protect Luka. As long as he can reset we still have a chance no matter what happens. His safety is your only priority. Chloe and I will handle Hawkmoth.”

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[hobiwonder]

~honest fuckboy~ | (m)

pairing: jk x reader

words: 3.1k

warnings: smut. 

a/n: hjrdbfuierbuibfn i accidentally deleted the post hhhhhhh im so sorry. here it is again. this is based on an ask i got about fuckboy jk.

~

~

~

“Okay so… I need to tell you something.” Your feet are tapping an impatient melody on the carpeted floor. Though he definitely can’t hear anything as the carpet muffles the noises that would probably would make him more nervous. Completely and utterly different from the Jungkook outside who’d been boasting about his ‘pussy destroyer’ status.

“Spit it out Jungkook. I’m literally not down for any more of your shitty pranks. I just need a good fuck and as the resident campus slut-”

“um, rude.” You continue anyway.

“-you are my safest bet. So, spill.” He seems even more nervous now for some reason. Sitting on the bed, legs splayed and arms resting back on the plush sheets. And they looked clean too. You didn’t think that was possible for a frat boy.

“Uh…. O-okay.” Your eyebrows are raised again as he looks around, seeming to be mulling his response in his head. Okay this was ridiculous, you were on a time crunch and your downstairs was getting drier by then second. Sighing, you just climb back on the bed, straddling his deliciously muscly thighs and mouth attaching back to his neck that you wanted to cover in hickeys. But you weren’t together and you didn’t want to put marks where they didn’t belong. Even if you really, really wanted to.

But of course he had to fucking ruin it.

“Wait wait!” The groan is unstoppable and this wasn’t the context you’d thought you’d be making these noises in.

“I swear to god Jungkook. Can’t this wait?” There is visible sweat brewing up on his temples and his lips are flushed from your earlier kisses.

“Okay here it goes,” He’s taking a deep breath in, closing his eyes once for a quick second before meeting yours, “I’ve only slept with one girl before.”

You stare at him. A solid minute passes and you haven’t moved an inch until your limbs are waking up again and a giggle is bubbling in your throat as you lean in again.

“Very funny. Now shut up before I kill you and then die of deprivation.”

“Y/n. I-I’m not kidding.” Pulling back, you can now see that all this fidgeting and twiddling with his thumbs really wasn’t an act.

What the hell.

Instantly, you’ve sprung back from his lap and your hands are gone in for the kill at your scalp. Frustration lacing every movement. This was just supposed to be you simply getting laid. Of course this would happen to you.

“What the fuck Jungkook?! Don’t say shit like that when I’m literally about to rip my clothes off.” Unless… “Wait. Is this just so you don’t have to sleep with me?”

Your voice is incredulous and accusing. Sure, you weren’t his hottest conquest or were really considered his type really. But Jeon Jungkook prided himself on never saying no to girls. He loved every female attention and happily hooked up with a variety even if he didn’t actually hang out with them. That’s why it had been so easy to pick him up at the party tonight. You’d had a nightmare of a date and your ego and pride had been bruised enough for one night for him to do you dirty like this too. You’re not sure if you’ll be okay if you got rejected twice in a night. Turns out Jaemin really didn’t like you like that. He just wanted to get laid. Much like what you wanted right now actually. But at least you were honest about it. He lead you on and you wanted to scratch his pretty face! You wore your best lingerie for tonight and that bastard flaked on you after five minutes when his regular booty call showed up.

Stupid pretty boys. At least Jungkook was an honest fuck boy. Or so you had thought. You really couldn’t handle being rejected by the all pleasing fuck boy. And your junior at that.

“No!” His eyes are widely blown and you almost believe him. He’s reaching forward to grab at your retrieving form but you’re having none of it. “Not at all. Y/n. please sit down.”

“No way. I’ve had enough of you assholes playing games with me.”

“What? Who are you talking about?” His eyebrows are furrowed in confusion but you don’t really care enough to tell him about your night for now.

“Don’t worry about it. But whatever I’m going.” You’ve only just turned around when Jungkook is pulling you back roughly so you’re falling back on his lap.

“Don’t go okay? It’s not because I don’t want to sleep with you. Don’t be dumb.” His once over at your tight little black dress doesn’t faze you. Okay maybe a little. Who wouldn’t feel flustered at Jeon Jungkook checking them out?

Sighing, you give him the benefit of the doubt, “Then what? Because I refuse to believe that you’ve only had sex once. Not when you’re literally bragging about screwing someone’s brains out every fucking party.”

“I do have a reputation to keep up you know?” He’s scoffing at you like you’re the one who’s being a little nuts at the moment.

“A reputation that you falsely cultivated, you smelly sock!” Yeah you were a little drunk too.

“Seriously? A smelly sock?” His smile is kinda cute, you think to yourself. “But yeah. I guess I really underestimated the ‘one lie leads to a thousand’ saying.”

Sighing, he just turns you back around in his lap and you can’t help it when you gaze slips further down south for a few seconds but Jungkook’s tsking noises have you looking back up, cheeks heavily flushed.

“You’re really horny aren’t you?” His chuckle is so carefree you’d be thinking it’s you who just confessed to being inexperienced in bed.

“Shut up kid. Thanks to you I might stay this way with no relief!” the pout is inevitable and unarguably a little childish but you could definitely hide away from all the judgement under the guise of being intoxicated.

“Y-You don’t… have to?” He sounds unsure and a little questioning. When you don’t say anything, he continues.

“I know I said I haven’t actually had sex more than that one time but I’d love to have sex with you.” He says it all so casually like he didn’t almost shit his pants confessing that very bit to you.

“Gee, thanks.” You pinch his slightly cherub face to which he yelps dramatically. “If anything, you owe me that mind blowing orgasm you brat.”

“Well then,” his smug little face is turning up in a smirk as he leans back again, spreading his body as it relaxes in the sheets before his face is tilting upwards, eyes taking a whole swipe at the way your dress has ridden up on your thighs. “Get to work babe.”

The nerve of this boy.

You’re about ready to give him a piece of your mind but instead, you go for something much more impactful. The way his eyes almost bulge out of his head is sweet, sweet revenge when you squeeze his length on top of his snug jeans. The shock is thankfully under control when you’d initially felt how hot and heavy his erection sat under the denim.

“You really need to learn when you’re out skilled ‘babe.’” The words are whispered close to his ear as you press a hot kiss beneath the lobe. He was a picture to be put up on the walls as he tried to keep his breathing even, eyes cast directly down to where your hand had now slipped inside his jeans. The rattling of the belt buckle with every movement from your hand was incredibly arousing. Not that you needed to be anymore horny at this stage.

“Wow, um okay… I should’ve -oh fuck – let you hit on me before.” His erection sits thick and hot in your hand as you scoff at him. Yeah, like you would.

“Please. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Jaemin flaking on me.” The last sentence is muttered under your breath but somehow his ears perked up enough to comprehend the name. Even when he’s receiving a hand job he does not shut up, does he?

“J-Jaemin? Really? You’re way out of his l-league. Oh god, y/n.” His moan hits you somewhere deep. Deeper than just your core with the way he’s saying your name and you can’t stop yourself when from slipping down to your knees- as if in a trance when you continue to glide your slippery hand over his girthy length.

“Say that again when my hand isn’t on your dick.” He doesn’t have a chance to open his smart mouth again because yours is on him. His hot skin on your tongue has an involuntary moan bubbling in your throat and reverberating against his hardened cock. The salty, tangy taste of him is addicting and you’re sliding your mouth down him and his reactions are only spurring you on further.

“God, you’re so hot. Look so h-hot with my cock in y-your mouth. Fuck, yes.” He’s growling, moaning and groaning as he watches you lap at his cock again and again. Saliva is starting to pool around your mouth and dripping down your chin as you suck the tip of him relentlessly. His dirty mouth is making you want to slip your hand inside your own underwear and get some relief.

You moan when his hand slips in to your hair at the nape of your neck, guiding your head around him as he gets close.  His mouth seems to have lost its filter and so have his hips as they buck in to your mouth.

“I’m so close. S-So close, baby. Take my cock,” his growl only makes you moan louder around him, sucking him off with more vigour.

Lucky for him, you know exactly how to push him over the edge. Taking one of your hands that had been working on the base of his dick, slickened by a mixture of your saliva and his precum, you tug on his tightened balls and instantly – he’s bucking his hips in to your face screaming out his release.

Warmth fills your mouth as you drink down his cum. His hands guiding your head every which way to milk out every second of his release. Jungkook is panting heavily and his whole body is covered with sweat as he watches your mouth overflow with his cum. Still, you don’t stop gently lapping at him, swallowing every drop and he seems almost about ready to cry.

“Y/n,” he’s panting even more now, “stop or I’ll cum again. Fuck you’re so hot that was amazing.”

Pulling you up back on to his lap, he doesn’t wait for you to wipe your mouth before placing his own, on top in a sloppy kiss. He’s licking around your mouth and you can’t help but moan at the feel of him. In a haste, he’s pulling off his shirt and your eyes almost pop out of your head despite knowing to some degree about what you would see. You knew he was pretty built from the various photos posted on the university social media since you never went to the games. The muscles that bulged out from his football jersey were quite good looking in itself but seeing them up close – you could maybe understand why the girls went crazy for him despite his lack of sexual experience.

While you were busy drooling, Jungkook has already caught you eyeing him shamelessly with the way he was smirking and biting his lip. “Just going to look or do-”

“Shut the hell up.” Your scoff only makes him giggle like a teenage boy making a ‘that’s what she said’ joke.

“You want to kiss me. You want to hug me.” Is he serious?

You pull back slightly from his mouth that’s singing out the ridiculous song from Miss Congeniality.

“Are you seriously quoting Sandra bullock right now?” He scoffs right back at you while pulling up your short little dress as his glassy eyes continue to eat you up.

“Of course. She’s awesome and don’t change the subject. Fuck…” Thank god he’s stopped with the movie talk – although you agree wholeheartedly about Sandra – and the way he’s looking down at your snug silk black lingerie, hugging every curve and accentuating the right parts – the confidence boost is much appreciated.

“Okay so, how much do I need to guide you through?” Your eyebrows are furrowing when his expression stays vacant like he has nothing to say, worrying you profoundly. Did he know anything? Oh god. You were not ready for this arrangement. “Do you know… where the clit is?”

Jungkook is finally moving his facial muscles but only to roll his eyes at you and scoff before he’s flipping you over so you were the one underneath him. “I’m inexperienced y/n, not an idiot.”

“Debatable.” The murmur doesn’t go unnoticed when he’s sliding downwards like he’s about to sit at your feet or something.

“What was that?”

“I said that’s deba- Oh shit!” Oh shit indeed. Any braincells you had left to comprehend speech were now focused on making you feel every lash of Jungkook’s surprisingly skilful tongue that was lashing at your sodden black panties – outlining every fold through them with the hot, wet pad of his tongue. Doesn’t help when he’s chuckling while his face is buried in your pussy making your skin absorb all the vibrations from his dirty mouth.

His hands pull one of your thighs over his shoulder so he could tilt his head further to reach every nook and cranny that will bring tears to your eyes. He licks up a stripe to your aching clit with the flat of his tongue before gently sucking it in his mouth. Then he speaks.

“Did I find it or I need to try again?” The vibrations from his mouth – and his hot breath – go straight to the bundle of nerves in his mouth as embarrassingly loud moans leave yours.

“Sh-Shut up and focus. You owe m-me an orgasm.” The words transition into a whine the longer you talk. It’s impossible to talk at all, really. The material of your panties is stuck to you obscenely and you want to cry with relief when he finally pulls them to the side.

“J-Just take them off Jungkook. Hurry up.” The brat just chuckles like he’s watching a sitcom.

“Seems like you’re the virgin here.”

“So you admit you haven’t had sex at all?”

“What? No! that’s not what I meant.” He’s pouting therefore his mouth has stopped and you can finally take a breather and not embarrass yourself.

“Mhmm. Sure little guy.” Your chuckle has most likely provoked him but instead of being happy that he’s definitely enthusiastic about eating you out – you’re a little scared that he might even just kill you with his mouth with the way his eyes stared back at you.

He’s lowering his mouth once again until his lips gently hug your nether ones. He’s so calm about his movements that you have to hold your breath to not give away how much it’s shaking. He shakes his head slowly as if to snuggly fit his lips in a seal around your entrance. And then – his tongue is spearing in and out of your pussy as deep as the stiffened muscle can get.

Your head is falling back with the shock of how pleasurable the sensation of his tongue inside your pussy is since you’ve never had someone so thoroughly taste you like this before. Most guys only ever just focused on your clit while Jungkook was moaning around your pussy like he was having the most desired delicacy in the world. His pace is increasing gradually while your noises are not. You are not far from screaming your head off when a particular thrust of his devilish tongue reaches deep enough for your eyes to roll back in your head.

“J-Jungkook, oh-” you hiccup, “god.”

“Mm. Your pussy tastes so good. I could eat you all night.” He’s taking a breath each time he talk – slick covering his lips and chin as he takes small sucks of your clit keeping you constantly stimulated but never enough to make you cum – yet.

“You like my tongue babe? Hm? You’re so warm and soft and tight it’s hard for me to fuck your pussy open.” He’s growling out his words like earlier and you think you might just cum from his words.

“But that’s what my fingers are for, hm? To fuck you nice and open for my cock. That’s it.” He’s cooing like you’re the one who needs coaching through their first orgasm. But it might as well be true because the way you feel right now is unlike any other time you’ve cum. Your insides are wound tighter than ever and you physically feel like you’re going to start sobbing any second from the intensity of your climax.

A sob finally breaks free when Jungkook shoves his middle finger in you as his mouth moves up to your clit. He doesn’t bother setting a gradual pace like he had with his tongue – instead he shoves another one inside. “Fuck. You’re so tight. I’m not even sure I’m going to fit inside babe.”

If you could form any form of speech in any language right now you would tell him off for giving himself too much credit. He can’t be that big.

“I’m s-so c-close. Jungkook p-please.” Your hands are balled in to fists in his sheets while your legs twitch with the force it’s taking for you to not close them. Also helps that Jungkook is holding your thighs open from smashing closed on his skull and possibly cracking it. You might consider doing that later after you’ve came.

Speaking of – you do exactly that when Jungkook’s lips form a seal around your clit once again and suck in tandem with his fingers that scissor in and out of your pulsing cunt. Wet sounds have filled the room for quite some time but you can’t hear anything but a white noise as an almost violent wave of your orgasm rushes through you. You don’t remember how long it goes on for but it feels like forever. And when you finally come to again you have to push your hands against his head to make him stop licking at you since your legs have probably expired now.

“Knew you were a screamer.”

“What?” You’re still panting – pathetic. Jungkook is wearing a shit eating grin as he lets your underwear snap back in place making you cringe from the friction of the fabric overstimulating you.

“And a gusher. Holy shit.” All the blood has rushed to your cheeks – you can feel it from how hot your face feels right now and you know it’s not from just having come harder than you ever have.

“Shut up oh my god.”

[lovelesswiki]

i've really respected your creative and analytical work with loveless for years (i actually remember reading your house crossover fanfic in like 2011 maybe?) so i've always wanted to know your general take on soubi's character? if you have time and haven't already written about it before, id love to see a general character analysis!

first of all, thank you so much! it’s fantastic to know that you like my analytical work and that i have partially redeemed myself from those weird fanfics i used to write. you know how we all look back on our past fanfics and other creative work and laugh at ourselves? well that’s what it’s like with me except i wrote about a crossover between an american medical drama and a gay catboy manga and i can’t look back on it without crying in shame. 

BUT I DIGRESS. thank you for sticking with me!

NOW. youve asked me about my favorite topic (i’d make a ‘my favorite topic: myself! agatsuma soubi’ joke here but i think i already made that joke in this post and also on deviantart and probably in a couple other places) but holy shit do i love talking about soubi. hes kinda my favorite character analytically. SO, LET’S TALK ABOUT SOUBI (and i apologize if this jumps from one topic to the next bc i have many thoughts on this tall child)

soubi is a very peculiar character because more than any other character in the series, he changes. beginning-series soubi is this incredibly creepy, weird, myseterious guy who constantly says the worst and most creepiest things possible and seems to prey on children and constantly asks about killing children and frustrates the reader to no end with his whole insistence that he can’t say shit about anything. see, the thing is that you’re not supposed to like beginning-series soubi. he’s a fucking predatory asshole who is creepy and weird to no end. however, people fell in love with him because this manga was marketed as a yaoi/BL manga, which made soubi fall into the bishie trope where it is completely acceptable for the ‘dominant’ character to act in a way that is very creepy towards the other characters.

so, this really, really divided people’s opinions on soubi’s character. some people hated soubi or strongly disliked him, which was close to the correct response you’re supposed to have to soubi in the first few volumes. others fell in love with him and the bishie trope and either fell off the series or were confused when soubi’s real characterization came to be. regardless, though, i strongly dislike beginning series soubi, but now that we have an understanding of his character, i know why he acted the way he did.

let me put this into perspective. agatsuma soubi was raised in a violent society. for twelve years he was completely isolated in a small town in the mountains in a school where he was taught how to violently battle other teams. this is literally all he knows. soubi himself says that he does not remember his parents well and he was six when his parents died. developmentally, six is a huge age because it’s when a child actually begins forming long-lasting long-term memories. not a lot of people remember much before they were six years old. i like to believe that this age was chosen for soubi to lose his parents because of this, but with yun i can never be sure. just let me try to believe that this was done on purpose pls. 

so soubi does not remember not being in this world. this is all he knows. on top of all this, there’s ritsu. ill get to ritsu more in a bit because i fucking love talking about the horrible dynamic between these two (and i mean that in the best way possible), but ritsu completely destroyed soubi. he took a child and destroyed him so thoroughly that soubi has no fucking idea how to function without him. ritsu filled soubi’s head with the idea that soubi would lead a subservient life where he’d be nothing more than a tool. he beat soubi constantly and used him as a way to get back at akio. even then, soubi was nothing more than a replacement for something missing. and this was how soubi came to identify. as nothing. as a fighter. as someone who would never lead and who would never have any sort of power, as someone who would lead a life of pain and fear of failing. and soubi accepted this, because he was a child and knew nothing else.

on top of this, there’s soubi’s idea of love. i have no doubt that soubi wanted to believe that ritsu loved him, and the only proof of this he could come up with was physical affection that was given to him, affection that went way too far until it resulted in soubi’s rape. however, soubi doesn’t seem to think of this as ‘wrong’ because of the simple fact that he was never exposed to anything else. you can probably guess where im going with this by now.

now we have beginning series soubi. by the time we first meet him (and we don’t learn this until later), soubi has become incredibly depressed and doesn’t seem to see the point in living anymore. other units are telling him to his face that he should’ve already killed himself, and the thing is–soubi doesn’t actually seem to disagree with this. his entire argument is that he has an order to carry out, but he seems to have wanted to go with seimei. soubi is depressed and on top of this, he no longer has seimei. by this point, soubi is twenty years old and for his entire life, he has never not had someone telling him what to do. for twelve years, he was isolated in the mountains and for the past three, soubi has lived in the real world, but under seimei’s rule, where he was still heavily isolated and controlled. and in the few times he doesn’t have seimei, such as at his university, he fails miserably at interacting in a real, meaningful way with his peers and environment. to put it simple, agatsuma soubi has no fucking idea how to function in life.

we have a guy who’s never functioned without someone heavily controlling him like a puppet and who has been extremely isolated his entire life, someone who is so fucking depressed that according to kio, he hardly functioned for months after seimei’s death, and someone who’s only reason that he didn’t commit suicide was because he had an order from a dead guy to carry out. and that order was to love a twelve year-old boy. 

what’s more is that, as i explained above, soubi has an extremely warped idea of love. he does not associate it with a feeling. he associates it with physical actions. so when seimei tells soubi to go become ritsuka’s fighter and to love him, soubi’s idea of this ‘love him’ thing is a lot different from a normal person’s. soubi still seems to hold onto this idea of physical affection=love even in the later volumes, but he’s definitely less insistent with the inappropriate touching and actions than he was before. 

but this doesn’t fully explain his annoying behavior in the first few volumes. he was irritating, constantly speaking in riddles and withholding information and teasing and just generally being terrible. and i think one point of information is very important in examining this behavior–that soubi got worse after ritsuka repeatedly told him that he wouldn’t punish him.

basically, soubi’s behavior is like a toddler acting out when they’re told they can’t have something. except, it’s a little different. it’s not that soubi wanted it, persay, it’s that punishment is all he knows and that it’s a main mean of controlling him. this is when, i think, it dawned on soubi that ritsuka and seimei are different people. even from the first fucking chapter, soubi looks more than a little confused when ritsuka grabs his hand and asks him to take pictures with him. to him, this is absolutely not the way people (his masters) are supposed to act around him. the look on soubi’s face when ritsuka starts talking to him so casually is actually kind of hilarious.

‘this is absolutely not what i rehearsed’ 

to put it simply, the first few volumes of loveless are actually soubi falling apart and trying to figure out what the hell to do. he’s in an entirely new situation with himself–he’s making decisions for the first time in his life. he’s suddenly faced with the realization that he’s a goddamn adult and an adult in the relationship he’s trying to peruse. he’s older than the kid he’s fighting for and this kid is an actual kid. he’s not like seimei. i’d say that the first three volumes of loveless are soubi trying to make ritsuka into seimei or force him to act like him, because in his mind, there must be some seimei in there somewhere. 

the turning point, i’d say, for soubi, is somewhere in volume 3. i usually tell people that loveless doesn’t get good until volume 4 or 5, but soubi’s turning point where he realizes that ritsuka is ritsuka is actually somewhere in volume 3. i’d actually wager to say that it might be this scene:

for anyone who doesn’t remember a whole lot of volume 3, there’s a lot of remembering of seimei on both soubi and ritsuka’s parts. this is the volume where we get soubi fully remembering the day seimei told him to go to ritsuka if and when he died. soubi seems to spend a lot of this volume thinking about his past, since it’s also the first appearance of the zeroes and thus, the first appearance of soubi’s past with ritsu, which he also flashes back to in the beginning of the volume. this particular scene with the panel that i posted above is after ritsuka finally deciphers the message he’s been given and enters the wisdom resurrection game. when he does, soubi sort of freaks out and goes over to ritsuka’s house to find him asleep on the desk. the panel above is his immediate reaction and one of the first times we actually get to see soubi’s thoughts. 

when i was young, i like many others interpreted this scene as sexual, but looking at it now, it gives off a completely different feeling of soubi finally coming to the realization that ritsuka is an innocent child and cannot be and will never be seimei. and for a while, it does seem to bother soubi a little, to the point that he actually allows himself to be defeated by the zero girls soon after this scene. after this scene, there’s not a whole lot of creepiness on soubi’s part, though it does take a bit of time to taper off. 

then we get volume 5 soubi, which is where soubi becomes likable. this is where you are intended, writing-wise, to begin actually liking him. prior to this, he’s creepy, but during volume five and onwards, he becomes… human. and this is because this is when soubi actually begins to develop an identity. he starts showing a personality. he becomes an actual person because at this point, soubi has begun to accept that ritsuka isn’t and will never be seimei and he begins to think that maybe–he might be free of seimei. and maybe with ritsuka, even though things are still confusing and weird, it might be okay to develop some sense of a personality. things take their natural course, and soubi does, and he becomes likable to the reader not just because we’re finding out more about him and we’re getting into his head, thoughts, and motivations, but because this version of soubi is actually written as very likable because he’s developing a personality and is not being a meaningless creep anymore whose only personality is being a creep. this is the part of the story that soubi moves into a primary protagonist spot, whereas earlier, he was working against ritsuka, who was our primary protagonist. it’s here that you, as a reader, start to want things for soubi, and it’s because he becomes a ‘good guy’ protagonist.

god, there’s so much i want to talk about in this post. let me move on a little to soubi’s past, which i talked about a bit earlier. i think i may have said this in another post, but i think the primary reason that soubi doesn’t talk about his past with ritsuka isn’t because he was told not to by seimei, because we never actually see seimei telling soubi not to say those things. soubi’s only stipulation from seimei is not to talk about septimal moon or explain anything pertaining to them. however, ritsuka does find out about septimal moon and essentially, the cat is out of the bag after that and ritsuka makes the discovery of ritsu, and actually meets him in soubi’s presence during the WR game. i like this scene a lot because soubi instantly becomes extremely cold and goes against ritsuka’s orders by typing a fucking passive aggressive insult to ritsu by masquerading as ritsuka and that is very funny to me because it’s the most stupidly nefarious thing that we see soubi do in the manga at his own volition. the best part is that soubi was fully willing to keep going if he didn’t get his fucking yelled at when ritsuka immediately found out. 

anyways, soubi completely shuts up or changes the subject at pretty much any time ritsuka or someone else brings up his past with seimei or god forbid even the subject of ritsu. during the scene i talked about in the previous paragraph, soubi goes quiet and stiff when ritsu shows up, natsuo notices and is like “oh, your arm [hand] must still be hurting, so you can’t type, that’s why” and soubi’s fine to just let him think that and doesn’t correct him or anything

he constantly changes the subject when his past comes up and goes so far as to lie to ritsuka about how he lost his ears in an extra (special edition 3, i believe, there’s a link to it on the loveless drive i made). soubi hates talking about his past to the point where i am really getting the feeling that he isn’t doing it for ritsuka’s sake. let me start with this–seimei was weird. seimei knew everything without soubi even telling him. i have no doubt at all that seimei used his past with ritsu against soubi, even to passively taunt him. when soubi got to ritsuka and realized that he didn’t know anything about soubi’s past, it must have been… pretty freeing. because if a person doesn’t know, then they can’t judge you or use it against you, and soubi more likely than not thinks that it’s more painful to talk about it than it is to keep it bottled up, which is completely untrue. soubi doesn’t talk about it in an effort to protect himself from emotional pain.

and that’s the thing–soubi’s character is partially built around the concept of pain. soubi is shown to have a huge tolerance for pain, to the point where it’s just a part of his daily life. this is physical pain, though. i wholly believe that soubi’s entire character can be viewed as an argument to that ‘sticks and stones can hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me’ rhyme, because soubi absolutely cannot take emotional pain at all, and he’s put through an enormous amount of it over and over again. the physical pain was a way for him to shut out emotions, and the ownership over him was a way for him to not have to make decisions about anything, including what to feel. but now that he’s lost both of those, there’s only the emotional pain, and a lot of it. 

anyways, i’m gonna stop there for now and save some analysis for other posts i want to do, but let me know if theres anything in specific you want to know my thoughts or further thoughts on!