#(ALSO I NEED TO ACTUALLY FIND BLOGS TO FOLLOW but I'm too shy to dig around so.

[draconicmayhem]

“......” Local Black Dragon is not sure what the hell is going on involving making babies, or rather the discouragement of doing so.

“......Maybe I should leave watching this thing to the old man....”

[trashyvanillabean]

♡ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐒. ♡ Tag 10 followers you’d like to get to know better

TAGGED BY @azaracyy

TAGGING. @artheresy @pinkrose05 @mochinoodle @manofmanymons @dragonciphering @iwasthewind @narzissenkreuz-ordo @alchemiclee @enigmaticmaki I'M TAGGING ALL OF Y'ALL HAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!! 😈

✧. ┊ 𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬 : Vanille!! (Not my real name obviously.) Though I've had people (not on here) just call me Vanilla.

✧. ┊ 𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑨𝑺 : Also Vanille. Vanilla works, too!

✧. ┊ 𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 : Female, but I otherwise don't really care for pronouns (currently).

✧. ┊ 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹 𝑺𝑰𝑮𝑵 : Taurus

✧. ┊ 𝑯𝑬𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻 : around 5 feet aaaand maybe 4 to 5 inches...?

✧. ┊ 𝑺𝑬𝑿𝑼𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀 : VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS /joking. I've never really had the chance to explore; but even when I've had a few guys flirting with me even before college, it was just never mutual. So, probably somewhere on the acespec...?

✧. ┊ 𝑨𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑮𝑬 𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑹𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑺𝑳𝑬𝑬𝑷 : Sleep is either almost nonexistent and only visits me for about a few hours (around 3 hours), or it's a tyrant that keeps me locked in my bed for way more than half of the day (around 8 hours or 9).

✧. ┊ 𝑫𝑶𝑮 𝑶𝑹 𝑪𝑨𝑻 𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵 : i love watching videos of cats and dogs, but I've never had either, and it's often a hit or miss with cats (when it comes to them liking my presence, I mean; a few of the neighborhood cats are totally chill with me, but most seem to find me lukewarm 🥲). Dogs are...well, I'm a little uneasy around them, to be honest (especially if they're big dogs).

✧. ┊ 𝑩𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑲𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑺𝑳𝑬𝑬𝑷 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 : Because my fam likes to fiddle with the thermostat, I always have at least two blankets. 🥶 Both of them are heavy, very fuzzy and have floral designs.

✧. ┊ 𝑫𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑴 𝑻𝑹𝑰𝑷 : I have a few places in mind, like Canada, Thailand, and maybe Norway. (Obviously these are just dream trips. Not a big fan of flights.)

✧. ┊ 𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑮 𝑩𝑰𝑹𝑻𝑯𝑫𝑨𝑻𝑬 : 14 August 2023. I've actually hopped around before, but anonymously without a blog. I was pretty shy (and I still am) and so long as the anonymous option was available, I never saw the need to make a blog. (And then Tumblr began requiring users to have accounts if they wanted to mingle anonymously. 🥲)

✧. ┊ 𝑾𝑯𝒀 𝑰 𝑴𝑨𝑫𝑬 𝑨 𝑻𝑼𝑴𝑩𝑳𝑹 𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑮 : I just wanted my own corner to be shamelessly nerdy and have fun while escaping irl, and I'm admittedly tired of having to bookmark so many things on my browser to go back and dig through if I want to go back and enjoy them again (especially because some of the works I find can have accounts that spontaneously disappear).

✧. ┊ 𝑼𝑹𝑳 𝑴𝑬𝑨𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 : Exactly what it says!! I've been called "Plain Jane" (no, Jane isn't my real name either, lol) and variations of "plain/basic vanilla" (which is strange if you've already seen that post about vanilla and saffron) and I'm normally a shy and quiet "bean" irl; but I have my own moments of being a degenerate, mostly in private, hence the "trashy" part. 😅

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Okay, so.

Below the cut are more asks related to the problematic!seb!anon stuff below. I am answering these and then no more. I understand that everyone wants to weigh in on what they think is good and bad or right and wrong but this is not what I made this blog for. Drama, rumors or he said she said, cancel culture, and Twitter World shit is not my cup of tea. I'm not comfortable with it. I do understand that racism is not drama but the way it has been presented with Sebastian is too close a line for me and I don't want that. Racism is much of what is wrong with the world. And while the discourse for critical thinking about racism in general is open, the drama motivated racism, calling someone a racist just to knock them down, ruin their image, or just prove a hunch that someone is terrible is not.

I get that he's done shit, he has problems and will probably have more, and supports people who he maybe-to-probably shouldn't. I acknowledge that. But I, in my bias, do not hate him for it, neither will I stop posting about him.

*trigger warning in ask #1 for domestic violence/abuse (woman & pregnancy related)

Ask #1

I get that, yeah, I've heard it. Both sides, actually! The idea that he shouldn't be playing Tommy in the first place, the idea that Pam doesn't want it to happen. Then the idea that he should be playing Tommy because supposedly he didn't shy away from the Terrible Shit he did that's in the film, not sugar coating it like some actors might've, and that if Pam truly had a problem with it, because it's been in production so long, she easily could've stopped it from happening. Though, yeah, I couldn't imagine she'd be as stoked as Tommy seems to be but as you said, she hasn't said anything as far as I know. Perhaps she's looking to have her side put out there too? I have zero ideas. Gauging the "normal" amount of promo for something is difficult, yeah, I can't really say if it’s one way or the other because I've seen less, no doubt about it, but I've also seen more intense shit. And with celebrities its difficult to know, especially in social media times, what they're putting up, what their team is putting up, and what is contractually obligated for them.

Baseline though: Tommy has done horrible, vile shit. Pam had to go through that shit. And was a show even necessary in the first place? Idk. However, it's not just Seb really, there are Tons of films glorifying shit that shouldn't be seen as cool/okay/fun.

Ask #2

Yeah, I haven't heard much about Chris, probably due to his anti-Trump tweets and ASP work winning over people in general. They're louder than Sebastian's quiet charity work and donations I supposed. But also, I don't go digging so I haven't heard anything at all with Chris and that doesn't surprise me, I try to stay out of a lot of it. (Other than a person attempting to get others to unfollow him on Twitter during the explosion of the intensely important BLM protests in the summer of 2020 (I think, pandemic time was and is a blur), supposedly claiming you can't follow Chris because Chris supports the police and that makes you racist (but I think that was just one person on my timeline going a little overboard).)

But, yes, people do love to pick on Sebastian. I can't quite understand it either. (Other than the very jokey answer of Chris' apparent power of turning everyone into mush, straight men included, re: that infamous straight guy I'd-let-Chris-Evans-Toss-My-Salad comment lol)

Ask #3

Hello. I think that's a very good way to look at it, yeah. Pretty much how I see it and way thinking about it but written much better and more concise than I could've said it lol.

Yeah, I think the fact that celebs have a magnifying glass on their lives is often forgotten as well as certain people's habits of going digging just to find problematic things done in the past. But also, yeah, I agree again. Accountability is still needed in certain times.

Thank you, sincerely, for the thoughts, I'm glad to know your opinion.

Ask #5

Sorry, these asks were all jumbled in my inbox together, I don't know of which of the above it belongs with but I'm assuming its the Chris one...? See food for thought in the above ask answers though.

[rpbetter]

You make some really good posts!! Can I ask something about DNIs? I know it's not directly RP-related, but I have trouble as an RPer with how many DNIs, with urls, there are now. I try not to interact with muns who have them, I block them, because it feels manipulative? But I'm also tempted to block people who follow those muns, because they probably think their DNIs are okay to have, so they're still "bad", just not as bad? Do you think that's overkill, am I shooting myself in the foot?

Oh, thank you! I'm very happy you've enjoyed them!

And, of course, ask anything at all!

I think, ultimately, the answer to whether that's overkill is entirely dependent on what your experience is and if you're happy with it. I don't think it is overkill at all, but if you feel like it is costing you too many mutuals, it might be overkill for you.

I'm a pretty insular RPer, I like a handful of close writing partners that I write a lot of threads with, so, having something like, under ten writing partners is great for me while it's miserable for other muns. I can go wild on blocking and not have it negatively impact my enjoyment, but I know that's not the case for everyone!

And I do, actually, I do go pretty wild with the blocking when it comes to things like DNIs. If it comes off as policing to me, not just something like a difference of opinion or a strong opinion on something, I'm going to block. Otherwise, it's just recognizing that this isn't a mun I'm going to work out with, but no hard feelings. With policing though...I don't want that anywhere near me or my mutuals, so, it's going to be a block.

Because they do tend to be in these odd, like, nested situations lol I totally will spend the effort if their DNI is bad enough to look at the muns they interact with and make sure I don't have future contact with them either. The RPC is such a big place, making it easier to forget URLs than to remember them, but it's also a place where we establish circles of contact, making it easier to run into the same group repeatedly. I feel like it's better for my peace of mind to be a little more certain than not at all that this isn't going to happen as easily.

If that DNI etc. has been so awful, I definitely don't require their mutuals professing the same beliefs as loudly as they are. If you interact with someone, maybe you don't know their pet fish's name or the obscure lore in a headcanon they posted five years ago or the rule they updated without telling anyone, but you do know what is on their pinned post or blog description or rules. At some point, we all visit each other's blogs in dash-view if nothing else when we're getting replies or checking for memes they might have posted, going through their tags, whatever. I do not believe that you're mutuals who reblog from each other often, reply frequently to each other, ship each other's muses and so forth, and all this time, you've somehow failed to notice your bestie mun is telling proshippers to die in their DNI lmao

No, you've seen it. And I find it extremely hard to believe, too, that it's never come up in conversation OOC either.

So, this hypothetical mutual is so oblivious to others, completely agrees with the other one's views while not feeling confident enough to share them publicly, or is scared enough of the other one that they won't disagree...and no matter which/which combination that might be, they're not a mutual I want.

Especially when it comes to a DNI with someone's URL in it. Hard pass on anyone who is okay with that!

If I visited a writing partner's blog, let's say this person is also my closest friend, I value them and the threads I have with them so much, and I saw that in their DNI they had dropped someone's URL? We would have to talk. I'd have to bring it up because it's the right thing to do (and would also be highly out of character for any of my friends, thus very concerning). There would have to be a question posed about what happened here, why did you feel like this was a good choice, and do you think it's increasing or lessening the problem to have that there?

Honestly, sometimes people do get so upset about something that has happened that their worst impulses are let loose freely. When you ask someone you have an established relationship with about that, unless you're being really hateful about it right off, it can help them settle down, take a step back, and see that this is maybe not the right action to take. To me, silence says you're okay with it.

When muns started putting more elaborate DNI's in, that alone rubbed me the wrong way because I genuinely do not think that the majority of that information is at all necessary. It's something I can see and fully understand minors doing, not because they're terrible or anything but because the impulses and rationale are just different. You're very much geared to be as loud as possible about things that are important to you, making them a part of you in a huge way, as a teenager. Shit just is unreasonably intense! But as an adult, I expect that behavior to be different. You don't actually need to say on your RP blog's DNI that "transphobes WILL be blocked!!!"

Well, yes, I should hope so lol we're a community filled with muns who are trans, I'd certainly hope you were not cool with that kind of thing. It's one of those assumptive states, it goes without saying because, in a group of legitimate adults, it literally doesn't have to be said that a trans mun in a group of trans muns in a RPC filled with trans muns would be intolerant of transphobic assholes.

And, no one likes a damn transphobe, it's not like this stunning, fresh information, here. Not making such a statement does not, in fact, act as a welcome.

Saying that, and I do not mean literally just that, it's just an example of the type of things found in a common DNI, is a little immature for me. Some of those things are, in addition to being purely self-validating: playing into the fear created by policing, virtue signaling, policing, or baiting. And all of them are pointless. Telling someone who would already be bigoted toward you and others to not interact if they somehow miraculously ID as whatever label that takes for them to not interact with your posts is waving a metaphoric red flag in front of a bull. Kind of like tagging a post as either "antis don't interact" or "proshippers don't interact." Actual quickest and most assured way to get that interaction!

I totally understand the age thing, it's self-protecting. Most people do respect it, but when they don't, you've clearly stated that this is not for whatever age group. Things pertaining to your writing and/or muse I also understand and think are great for a quick glance before someone even gets to the rules. Having in a DNI something like "muns who are easily triggered by gore" when you write a horror muse, for instance. You're advising them that this isn't a great idea for them, and it shouldn't be expected that you change your muse and topics because they decided to follow anyway.

But it became excessive very quickly, and there is the expectation that blogs have a DNI. The further expectation is that there be a specific list of things found in that DNI, if yours does not include it, you obviously don't have a problem with those things. I really cannot be okay with that, you know?

However, when it wasn't being used as a callout or a way to police, that was something that could just be ignored. Once URLs of other RPers started to appear, it was a whole other problem.

It used to be the pervading rule of the RPC that it is not alright to force other muns to chose between you and another mun that you had an issue with, but now we have DNIs with other muns' URLs in them. Now, it's the opposite take - if you have an issue with a URL being dropped in a DNI, or if you continue to interact with the mun, you're likely to get a callout or be on the receiving end of other bullying.

So, I very much think the self-insulating thing to do is to avoid those mutuals as well as the RPer with the URL-laden DNI. They could just block you, but is someone who was so juvenile as to put another mun's URL in their damn DNI going to be mature enough to do that? Will their friends once they complain about you? For me, it's too high of a risk of being around muns I wish would take a very long break from RP and only come back once they've grown up some.

I would never advise anyone to do something that is erring on the side of getting them into harassment water unnecessarily (as in, not something that pertains to digging in your heels and writing what you want or not tolerating bullying where you see it happening), and I feel like not doing what you are is that. However, I also am a firm believer in agency, even to make mistakes.

So, if you genuinely feel like blocking mutuals of someone with a URL-dropped/callout/other highly offensive and bullying thing in their DNI is costing you so many chances to RP that you're no longer enjoying yourself here? You might want to consider adjusting how widely you are blocking.

If that's the case, try going for mutuals who are what I call Casual Mutuals and leaving them open. Those are mutuals that the mun doesn't write with often or at all, they're technically mutuals because they both follow each other, but that's it. There might be some liking of posts or even comments or non-committal, OOC style memes sent in by Casual Mutuals, but that interaction is sparse and, yep, casual. These mutuals might legitimately be unaware of the mun's hateful, bullying bullshit in the DNI, or they are actually afraid to unfollow/block them at this point, so their option feels like staying around as quietly as possible.

With that last deal...you could even be doing someone a favor, Anon. When I've encountered that situation before, it's come about because the other person's Casual Mutual is painfully anxious, shy, and a previous victim of bullying. They feel isolated, they don't have many or any writing partners, and they really, truly, are terrified to distance themselves in a way that might be noticed. It's a type of toxic interaction that rarely gets mentioned in PSAs, presumably because it is so low on the actual interaction scale.

Giving them someone else in their corner, especially if that other mun is more open about their intolerant stance on bullying, can go a long way toward giving someone else confidence. I've had other people's Casual Mutuals become my Casual Mutuals and wouldn't you know it? After a while, they get braver. They see my friends and mutuals doing our thing without any of the bullying going on, they see us supporting anti-policing and not tolerating bullying, and they get brave enough to unfollow the hateful mun. It feels nice to even inadvertently help someone, and over the years, some of those Casual Mutuals have become great writing partners, too. People I would have missed if I had made the choice to block them by the association of a hateful mun they were trapped in the orbit of.

Just try to exercise caution! You seem like a reasonable person who doesn't mind truly thinking on things or doing the work required to be cautious. Assume the close mutuals are a problem, too, and block away. Build a wall with some razor wire on it with those blocks! Don't assume the low-interaction, very casual mutuals are, though. Check out their blogs for signs of agreement with Hateful Mun, and if they don't have any, give them a shot as far as just leaving them unblocked goes.

I also have to say, here at the end, that it's extremely nice to see that people out there are doing this. Honestly would have thought I'd be the last person to encourage a ton of blocking, but that's the environment of the RPC now, and it's really the only way we can deal with this issue. You can't reason with these people, you can't stop them, you can only stay away from them for your own good and send a message that this isn't benefiting them. Not everyone agrees with them, they're not going to keep having people left open for their attacks or their RP entertainment. And if enough people are just walling them off, that is a message they'll have to receive because RP runs on interaction with others.

They might think they want every "nasty ass" xyz Problematic RPer to block them, not interact, or vanish from their view of the RPC, but I don't think they realize what that really looks like. What it looks like is a huge percentage of the RPC missing, including people they didn't realize were "problematic." We tend to be quieter, wanting to stay in our own lanes and actually enjoy the hobby and each other. That's why they have to resort to shit like making everyone pre-guilty, or setting up traps to catch people out on being "gross."

So, I genuinely do not think they're prepared for the rude awakening of silence that would happen if we all actually vanished, but I am dying to see it lol and do sometimes have to wonder if the complaints about the RPC being dead/dying/empty, not in a fandom but overall, are coming from the purity police some of the time. It's quite active over on the Leave Folks Alone Over Fiction side of life :D