#(Eo doesn't mind it tho not really)

[shima-draws]

Eostar did you mean Kirito being stupidly over affectionate in public but everyone’s too afraid to say anything bc well. He’s the Star King,

[alexandraisyes]

Rate all of your TSAMS AUs Suns based on how morally good they are

That's not a fair ask I don't have morals 😭 /gen

Okay okay I'll give it my best

Highly Unconventional: 3 Stars - Morally grey on some things that he maybe shouldn't be morally grey about but everything else in intact. Great guy as long as you can get past the "dating the person who almost fucking killed him" part

Sinker AU: 5 Stars - For a mer at least

Twisted Celestials: 3 Stars - Pretty morally grey, this AU was set during his "I'm going to fucking kill everyone" arc tho tbf

Cage AU: 4 Stars - Just wants to help however he can

R E S E T: 3(?) Stars - Really fucked up in the head so he gets an excuse

TSBS Hunger Games: 5 Stars - a fucking saint and a baby, the "sweetheart of the capital"

Human/Family AU: 5 Stars - Just a fucking sweetheart who's super supportive of his family and lovers

Drowning: He's dead RIP

Friends AU: Undecided, not much going on there except I dismantled the family spaghetti

Freyja (Supernova): 3 Stars - Maybe a little too open-minded at times

Charon (Supernova): 4 Stars - Tries so fucking hard to do the right thing

Haze's Sun (Supernova, will update soon with name): 1 Star - This dude is a manipulative fucking asshole no one likes him

See also my go-to versions of

Canon Sun: 3 Stars - Morally Grey on things he shouldn't be

Helios (Dark Sun): 0 Stars - Morals? Never met her

Angel (Solar's Sun): 5 Stars - What a fucking sweetheart

Crius (Servant Sun): 1 Star - He'll do anything for his Lord

Dawn (Swap AU Sun): 3 Stars - Morally grey (like Lunar)

Eos (Lonely Sun): 4 Stars - Doesn't really know a ton about morals outside of fazbear no-no's

Apollo (Ruin's Sun): 3 Stars - He's a good person, he swears

[emin-folly]

Hey, @fezwearingjellybananas! Tumblr's acting up and apparently hid/ate your ask for the Character Ask game?? I'm so sorry, and also for replying late OTL I hope you don't mind me answering in a post! 5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? Ohhh, hm. The Jekyll and Hyde song is kinda one, buuut that's technically Eobarry. As for just Eobard himself, one of the first songs that remind me of him are "Can't Be Erased" (Yes, I know it's a Batim song, shhhh xD) I know there's more, but tbh, I'm kinda?? A bit uncultured in my music taste lol, I'm sorry 12. What's a headcanon you have for this character? Because you waited for this, I'mma give you three headcanons! Bc I can~ * Because of the Thawne's connection to the mystical blue flame that grants immortality, I like the idea of Eo's ancestors actually being related to the homo magi people somehow (the race of magical people Zatanna belongs to). But over the 400-500 years or so, the homo magi blood in the Thawne bloodline has been greatly diluted, so that when Eo is born, he would probably just have like, 0.001% or something (I'm not an expert in this tho, so if I'm wrong, please feel free to correct me! lol). Not enough for him to use magic or anything like that, but as a little reminder of what was * Eobard does not need to eat or sleep or do anything that humans require to live. He's transcended beyond those needs, but he can still he eat/sleep etc, if he chooses to, like Superman. Though, he doesn't like sleeping anymore, mostly due to forcibly being put into comas and well, his dreams can often be cruel.... * Borrowing this hc from my friends in Discord, he is a excellent yet strict teacher who is surprisingly beloved by the majority of his students. He's charismatic yet very weird and very passionate about a guy whose been dead for hundreds of years, and students are really drawn to his odd charm~

[spotsupstuff]

what happened to boreas during the events of saint's campaign? I'd have figured because of his self sustaining properties, he'd be one of the last iterators actually functional before saint inevitably bababooeys him

-snaps fingers n fingerguns atcha- you got That right, buckaroo! Boreas indeed is still kicking just fine when Saint enters the Aeolus Root ring, especially if you ignore his mental state consisting of crushing loneliness and nasty ass giant case of guilt. i told Shkiki this- i geniunely think he'd only die if a lot of ice would block his water filtration systems. he's like a damn cucaracha

(see, Beebee is stationed very high up north n i think he's close enough to the sea that he uses That as his water supply. he runs Very cold, much more so than a normal Iterator- this is mostly the case cuz i wanna give the greek god Boreas shout out with it, but in-universe can be blamed on his sheer massive size. he needs to keep himself as cold as possible. can't exactly cool his systems with solid ice tho and so this person who doesn't like/can't handle other people Needs these other people that warm up the atmosphere n keep the polar caps at bay. so honestly even tho he's fine n dandy when Saint finds him, he was already living on borrowed time)

Saint has a bossfight with Boreas just like with Sliver except Boreas is.. kinda more sturdy n also more aggressive n has a bigger chamber- he's like Sliver+, that girl was a weasel. hard mode Sliver.

it takes a bit, but eventually Boreas' puppet falls and the antigravity stutters to a stop. i imagine that working iterators that put up a fight need multiple blasts before they completely die because each blast is killing only a portion of the Hivemind, then the rest of it rushes to fill in the holes, that gets blasted and the process is repeated until there's no more of the collective left. so you can imagine what kind of state B is prolly in after like 9 direct blasts

torn apart, exhausted and so much more smaller n lonelier than before, Boreas finally stops fighting and instead huddles in a corner. for once absolutely terrified out of his mind n insterestingly enough- regretful. he tries to send out a warning signal to the rest of the group, but he can't manage it with how diminished he's become. Saint approaches. Boreas doesn't plead for mercy. he stares the rat down even when its eyes wildly flash

Saint finishes him off. Leaves. Notos watched the whole thing

to say that Notos is fuckin Traumatized from that is an understatement. its special overseer stays with Boreas' puppet beeping at it for an hour, waiting for him to wake up. but of course, nothing

now, i'll add- Beebee n Notty didn't ever really Fully Click together. either they didn't interact much because of their "i gotta work, man" mentalities, they were shit at interaction or they barked at each other (even in mythology it says that fights between Boreas and Notos were catastrophic and absolutely terrifying- fun fact! Notos actually seems more dangerous than Boreas from what i've read n this Is meant to be reflected with the Anemoi Iterators too). like i've had the idea that when Notos calls for an elder brother n Boreas n Euros look up, it'd specify "the elder brother that I actually appreciate" when needin Euros

either way, these two were still siblings and Boreas *did* Mentor Notos when it needed it (along with Euros; the Winds r kinda like a lil self-sustaining group within the bigger group- they are "Elite"/Leading Iterators of The Children of Eo after all) n they still like... Loved each other. even when Notos cut the communications with him after everything started going down the drain, it still loved him. n it regrets some things it said to him (thoughtless.. cruel things...) but cuz of the way it is as a person it never decided to step up n be the one to reestablish contact and apologize

and now Boreas is dead. one of the first iterators of the group gone, maybe the third. it can never say now, how it is so sorry and never meant it

[lovefrombegonia]

Personal Rambling on BL fandoms and what not (unserious nature)

Watching Seungho stans and Jaekyung Stans on twitter fight each other over who is "better" is INSANELY HILARIOUS 😭😭😭 LIKE WHAT YOU MEEEEEAAANNNNN?!!!!?!!?? We are all going to hell, brothers and sisters and cousins. We already in hell. We roasting in hellfire. We partying with demons 😭😭😭 What do you mean yours or mine is less demonic and therefore more angelic LMAO

Now...I get it tho. I get it. I do hate it when fans compare Seungho to Sangwoo but that's coz I do not like Sangwoo. I couldn't finish KS, so, DO NOT take my dislike as proof of badly written character. My personal preferences don't reflect on the quality of stories. That's not what I am saying. But I am also NOT gonna say Seungho is better option than Sangwoo. Seungho-nim fucking killed a dude on the first chapter over a MINUTE MISUNDERSTANDING. Still, it doesn't change the fact that I find his unhinged-ness interesting so WHAT DO I KNOW. I gues I shouldn't judge those stans for fighting eo too. I might become one of them defending Seungho's demonic ass on my bad day.

NB: I know that KS is not considered BL or atleast that's what I hear the author herself said. I don't have a source of where she says that, so, take that with a grain of salt. I am just saying what I hear others say. I, personally, don't mind calling it BL tho coz BL is more like an umbrella term TO ME, that consists of various genres, be it romance, comedy, sci-fi, horror, or psychological. But if the author really said KS is not BL then it's not BL.

I just find it funny to see the SH and JK stans arguing like that. It shows how we get blinded by our own biases. I definitely do that too sometimes.

I am only recently getting into BL manhwa fandom. I have read POTN (ofc look at my profile pic, I am smitten), Ghost's Nocturne (the art style...MAJESTIC, and the horror elements??? OMG GIVE ME MORE), and Blood Bank (🔥♥️🔥♥️🔥♥️). I like all of them! Still need to get myself updated with Define The Relationship and Wet Sand. Usually, atleast, in twitter danmei fandom sphere, bl manhwa don't have a...I guess the closest terms would be "good image". It is said they only have fucking and sucking. In fact, I only read POTN because of a meme I saw making fun of it and Jinx compared to danmei novels. And my monkey brain went: is it THAT bad?? Hmm... let's verify this claim. Queue, me getting obsessed with Seungkyum 🤡🤡 I think BL manhwas, just like JPN BL mangas, have their charm. You can say one is better if you want I guess but TO ME, it all depends on what I want to read. And my conclusion is: I WANT ALL OF THESE TO EXIST. I want the deep pining and suffering. I want the vivid stories and drama. I want the soft and caring lovers. I want the insanity and problematic favourites. I want the purity. I want the fucking and sucking. I want the "god honoring way" content and the "OMG somebody hose this with holy water" content. Really, I do think it's all dependent on my mood whether I would like this type of content on this day and time. You know, I am slowly discovering that...I might just like TRASH sometimes... Like, now if someone says "you got trash taste", I just go: huh...yeah that tracks. I can now proudly say that one should not take my liking of a piece of media as the proof of its high quality.

Everyday...I get more and more unserious.

PS: I would love some recommendations of your fav BL manhwas tho 🥹👉🏻👈🏻

[disaster-j]

i feel like white seeing sean have a nightmare, desperately cling onto him and just be at his most vulnerable really was a turning point in his attitude towards him (as well as just generally seeing his determination and genuity), we didn't really know what he was thinking cause he's either always putting on an act or is focused of gathering information or jumps to conclusions but in today's episode we got to hear more of his inner thoughts and it was just so apparent when he said (or thought i guess??) that he basically wants him and sean to trust and rely on eo in the future. he's also just obsessed with him like he's literally always talking about him even tho he supposedly already ruled him out as someone who could've hurt black. i would also love to talk about the bedroom scene cause it perfectly shows how torn and confused he is but i still need to process that lmao though i feel like it wouldn't be too far-fetched to say that white was also just simply a little bit jealous

also i can't wait to see white get more and more attached to the gang... we don't really talk about this but white also seems like he craves that connection and trust (as well as someone to open his eyes) and a gay little social justice gang might be just the way!!

No but you're right. White seeing Sean vulnerable really changed his perspective of him. Until that point he was still doubting Sean and treating him like a suspect but seeing him cry chipped away at the walls White had been putting up to keep all those feelings away. The way that he looks at Sean, you can see that he's worried, that he cares. I also think Sean confronting White after the tear gas incident is what really solidified in White's mind that Sean's aggressive behaviour towards Black is justified and not a sign of murderous tendencies. Sean really shows White the worst of Black and when he recounts Black's words it hits home to White, yet again, that Black can be a real bad guy too when he wants. And it's after this incident that his obsession with Sean starts to show.

The way he watches him in class, wonders about and seeks him out, tries to dig into secrets he doesn't even know Sean is keeping. When he lets Sean take the lead, provokes him to strike at Tawi, even though he's putting up an asshole act as Black it really feels like he's doing it for Sean. He wants to watch Sean take another hit at Tawi, wants to see Sean take charge and lead the gang again. Sean intrigues White and I love how he doesn't try to deny it anymore. I love that he's starting to acknowledge it because it means we're getting closer to the start of the romance.

As for the bedroom scene, White was absolutely jealous. He's a jelly boy and they've kept it in the show and I love it. It's really good to see White's suppressed feelings bubbling up because of jealousy over Namo. He doesn't know who she is, doesn't know their history, has no clue that there's nothing romantic going on between them. A part of White feels betrayed seeing her in his spot. The part of him that is attracted to Sean, that notices Sean's lingering gaze on him. That can sense the sexual tension and unacknowledged attraction brewing between them. That part of him is thinking why would he make me feel all these things when he's already with someone else? Why would he do this to me? What does he want from me?

I don't think he had really realised that he likes Sean in that scene. I believe he didn't understand why he was so upset and why he yelled like that. But the feelings had bubbled up without him noticing and it all just exploded out of him.

And finally! He definitely does crave it and I think the rooftop scene is where he finally acknowledges all this, which I've explained in detail here.

[rahleeyah]

Hey Leah, would you mind reminding me again why it's not the end of the world if m's not on tomorrow's oc? It's so easy to feel frustrated that they dropped the otlohl thing completely that I just... ugh I'm sorry, ignore this, I just don't like feeling hopeless and your blog is the best antidote 😥😥😥

It is not the end of the world. It is not the end of the world bc no one involved with the show told us she would be - we have not been baited, have not been given a hint-hint wink-wink that she will be there by those that know. We have hyped ourselves up about it bc it is a really exciting way the story could play out, but it is not the only way and in fact canon has not fully laid the groundwork for it. Liv hasn't been mentioned by anyone on oc lately but we do know Wheatley is going after Bernie. They will not be yanking the rug out from underneath us. There is no rug.

They haven't completely dropped the otlohl thing. Since that speech they have continued to give us little moments of Liv and El slowly moving together - and given us Wheatley with Liv in the crossover which reminds everybody he hasn't forgotten about her - which is in line with how l&o handles character work. Small moments, scattered across many episodes. I think binge watching has spoiled us, a little, in that we can see all those moments happen so quickly when we go back to rewatch and we forget just how fucking long it took, just how much time elapsed between each moment.

There hasn't been any eo since Christmas but there also haven't been that many episodes since Christmas. It feels like a long time but in terms of the season it really hasn't been.

And l&o has always relied on the model of "just bc we didn't show you doesn't mean it didn't happen"; that is, even tho they haven't shown us Elliot and Liv talking doesn't mean that two episodes from now they're not gonna reveal they've been talking all the time. Just bc we haven't seen it doesn't mean that they literally haven't talked at all. Tptb often retroactively add things like that in. What happens on screen is not the be all end of all of what's happening between the characters and we won't know just what's happening until they tell us.

So circling back to the original point - it will not be the end of the world bc this is not a season or series finale, is not a promised landmark episode, has not been teased as a big eo moment. It is just another episode. An episode that could be better, with Olivia in it, but if she is not in it her exclusion is not some slap in the face to fans. This episode was written and filmed before we could even begin to speculate about it. They aren't keeping her out to spite us or kill eo; they made the decisions they made wrt to the plot of the episode based on a variety of factors including money and practicality and timing and if the end result is that Liv is not there that's ok. It's not her show.

EO will continue to grow, one way or another. They may set aside an episode of one show or the other for it, or they may continue to do it in drips and drabs. We have not been promised anything, so we'll just have to wait and see.

[sumeshi-t]

✨ self-ship tag game ✨

PART 2 | IwaLee (here you go, discord)

sorry if it's corny/cheesy LMAO my brain empty i can't think of anything to make for iwa's birthday i'm such a dumbass. was also supposed to draw an nsfw-ish thing for this but ya girl is feelin’ out of it lately sjhfalhj

How we met:

okay let’s just say i’m smart enough to land myself a scholarship in socal since i’m taking physical therapy anyway

i feel like... we would meet in the library LMAO what asian nerds

maybe i’d end up bothering him with the way i’m murmuring anatomy stuff and talking to myself when studying

so he overhears me struggling to remember that one word and he’s gonna fucking answer for me like okay sorry bud i’m stupid

jk i won’t react like that i’d just be like, “yes!” and turn to look at whoever it was who answered and say thank you because i’m so immersed in my own bubble of “knowledge” and big brain

when i notice that he’s actually cute i’d be fucking red in the ears out of embarrassment when he tells me to tone my voice down lmao so i apologize for being a bother :(

actually says, “don’t mind” damnit his english do be cute. just two asian kids far from home with accents

it’s awkward, but i’d steal glances at what he’s studying. would probably get caught after a looong while, but it’s bc i’ll be blanking off, brain tired

“do you have anything you want to ask?” he’ll be dropping his pen over his notes leaning back and stretching, bending his neck, rolling his shoulders while waiting for my answer

“omg i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare.” then i ask what his program is just bc he could be in one of my classes and i didnt know

anyway, turns out our schedules were pretty similar, we live in the same area/dorm, so like there’s always a chance for us to meet somehow

we wouldn’t give numbers to eo on that same day; like give it about two weeks of constantly bumping into eo before that happens

watch me share my highlighters with him, exchanging notes, passing some snacks beneath the table like its weed or sumn

from lib meetings to getting lunch together to being invited to watch his games (in freshman year i’d still go because i’d be less busier)

i would definitely use the honorifics on him, from “iwaizumi-san” gradually to “iwa-kun”; he won't admit that he likes it because it's a little piece of home

would convince to practice palpation with him because his body is a perfect example–

"wh-why don't you ask someone from your class?"

"i'm not that close with—are you blushing? omg you are!"

somehow i joke around, "i won't touch your dick," then i'd laugh at his reaction.

anyway, in return for using his body as a model, i have to sit through a godzilla marathon with him

the first time he sees me breakdown from the stress he's kinda flustered at first; but he's seen similar things with oikawa so he has a faint idea what to do. damn his hugs feel so warm, so safe

i'm quicker to open up to him, once i got comfortable; and reassurance that if he needed someone to talk to i'll also be there

basically a slow burn best friends to lovers kinda thing

ngl i'd be crushing on him by the time we're entering second year maybe? but because we're friends i always throw the thought away because i don't wanna ruin what we have

but da heart wants what it wants

it would take: the teasing of his buddies back at japan after seeing him post ig pics of us together (it was me who did it, i grabbed his phone); and, my own set of friends getting annoyed at me for always being in denial—all these just for us to finally come into terms with what we feel for eo

"i have something to tell you," we'll say to eo before we enter the lib ksksksk

"oh, you go first-" "no, you-"

it's awkward but i'll be the first to confess and he's 👁👁

"you... what?" "smh don't make me say it again, iwa. does this mean we're not friends anymore?"

"yeah"

"oh..."

"because i like you too. you... wanna go out with me?"

First date x type of dates:

study dates are automatically a thing for sure; we've upgraded from lib to cafe dates

since we're like, friends before this, potential stuff for first dates are already crossed out since we've kinda done them already???

so this issue was raised and his mind said, "then let's redo everything,"

the first thing we did outside campus was go on a foodtrip. because i was craving filo food, and he was craving jap food. and then i have this kinda habit that when i get to eat something delicious, i silently squeal or hum in my seat he finds that cute

the "first date" doesn't really have to be grand because we're like... close friends with feelings. so we don't have to try hard to please each other. everything just feels natural when we're together

anyway, we try out the food we didn't have before. he still prefers sinigang over adobo. he's still kinda amazed where i put all the food after eating a bowl of ramen that's good for two

he's gonna take a pic of me in that excited face i make when the food is placed before me and make it his wallpaper (homescreen) secretly

after that, we're just walking, me telling him about something i watched or nerd talk, then he slips his hand against mine, holding it and pulling me closer that it makes me shut up–so he laughs

"that's all it takes to get you quiet, babe?"

"w-what? also... did you just call me babe? because i didn't think i'd like it,"

"i know something you'll like," he stops walking, then, with his free hand he cups my face and pulls in for a kith kith 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

i am blushing when i tell him, "that your first kiss?"

"y-yeah, why?"

"same"

we were already walking and he swoops in for a quick peck again, "then that's the second,"

he says that with a little frown on his face, cheeks also flushed and ugh soft!lee—i lean my head against his arm because i'm too short to put it above his shoulder. but anyway i tell him, "didn't think you had it in you to be this soft for me,"

"sh-shut up"

it doesn't seem romantic because ✨it doesn't have to be when we're already happy✨

While we’re dating:

he saves all the selfies i send him; whether it's the meme-ish ones or just me feelin' good about myself he's got them saved

notebooks getting interchanged kskskss it's terrible because one minute i'm reading my notes about pharma, then i flip a page and i see stuff about sports science like–???

tho what makes it cute is that he has tiny scribbles on corners in hiragana or maybe kanji and some random zigzag lines over some words–a sign that he fell asleep with a pen in his hand

i have lots of caps (that are majority of my dad's but i like them all so i brought sum) and he just... gets one from behind my door (it's the same energy as the hoodies thing)

and i 🥺 bc he actually looks good in caps like??? sir that's illegal

ok but walks in the beach at sunset

also surfer!iwa???? mhhhh yes yes living the dream honestly

ofc volleyball is involved, he's kinda pleased i can play decently. it's either the gym or vb

he would force me to go to the gym smh "you're a PT aren't you? shouldn't you be moving around too?" i'm gonna grumble but the sight of his er, toned body before during and after exercising is the best reward

actually its a win-win, he likes how my butt is outlined by my jog pants and how for him, i still look good even if i'm sweaty all over

hehe we'd end up getting horny by the time we reach the dorms–you know the rest and afterwards:

"so, you'll go to the gym more often now?"

"if it ends up like this, i wouldn't mind,"

we teach eo our mother language! but only on our spare time. omg imagine him telling me "mahal na mahal kita"??? i'm??? or when he's chatting with oikawa (especially that one time he sent a selfie of him and ushijima) he uses tagalog swear words if he just wants to mess with his best friend

vidcalls with each other's fam—i mean, for my parents they know we've been always close, and like, it will be my grandma/dad who'd ask him, "when will you court my granddaughter/daughter?"

he got so nervous, he stuttered, "i'm... i'm courting her already,"

anyway they approve of him because he is smart^TM and a good man 🥺 because they know he has ambitions in life the same way that i do have my own goals i wanna achieve

meanwhile me, i'm gonna be so nervous trying to speak to his fam, but they're all so sweet so i tell him afterwards, "so that's where you get the softies,"

anyway since this is college we're talking about, every passing year, we both become busy, especially when internships come around

but when he can, he'll fetch me from the hospital with comfort food because he knows it's been a rough day and he wants to make sure i'm taking care of myself 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 lowkey i try to do the same for him because he deserves it; but he says it's okay and that i should be preserving my energy for my studies 😭

[rahleeyah]

sometimes i wish EO wasn't endgame, and honestly i love them but continue to be so on the fence about it all

the funny part is, i have no long-term resentful bone in my body, i can be mean and vicious and a bit vengefull but i could never be done with the love of my life, even after some of the shit we've gone through, some of the things i have felt and been made to feel, some of the things i have heard, some that hurt so badly but that i needed to hear

so i should understand olivia, i should understand how it is to feel unable to give up, to let go, to be done with someone, i should know that one look or move would be all it takes for my anger to subside, i also know that my rage burns bright and short and that i immediatly feel bad about it after because i don't want that to define me, to be how people and the person i love most remembers and knows me

but i feel vengeful for olivia, i feel like i need to protect her at all costs, and sometimes i am unwilling to believe that the one who hurt her the most is also the one who can make her the happiest, for some reasons that thought makes my heart ache, it makes me not believe in justice and i wish that elliot would just understand what it is she has been feeling her whole life, about people leaving, about her feeling she's not enough or, actually, too much

i can relate to olivia, i know how she feels because i feel it too, being too much and not enough at the same time is a burden to live with and i think, somehow, elliot tries to understand but he doesn't know and he will never know and sometimes, sometimes i just wish he could actually get into her head and her heart to finally, finally understand completely what is feels like

but the worse part is, the ones who actually don't understand are the ones the best equiped to heal you, because they try so much to get it that they do the work, they listen, they try and i know elliot can be that person, the one who completes her, who gets her in another beautiful way, who sees who she is, the real her, olivia

but sometimes i also want her to not be olivia all the time and to be selfish and to just say to hell with it and just take what she wants instead and not give it, give it, give it

so yeah, i wish they would end up together, but i also wish they wouldn't, i guess i will be happy and frustrated either way

Something I think is important to remember, when we talk about how Elliot leaving hurt Olivia, is that Elliot is also a person and Olivia knows this.

I don't think I agree with your thesis; is Elliot's departure the thing that hurt her most? No, I think Lewis did the most damage, emotionally as well as physically, bc he took away her control and her understanding of herself. Elliot's departure hurt but she wasn't in therapy over it. Sheila's betrayal hurt worse, I would argue. Bc Olivia didn't trust her but she wanted a family so goddamn bad she let her in anyway, and very nearly lost her son in the process, and blamed herself for it.

The thing is. What Elliot did, leaving, wasn't about hurting Olivia, and she knows this. He wasn't being cruel to her. He made a decision and one of the consequences of that decision is that she was hurt, but there are also positive outcomes with that decision. His family - the family both he and Liv have always put first - will be taken care of. He won't lose his pension, his reputation. He leaves his job on his own terms. Liv won't be dragged thru the mud alongside him.

Also!!! Remember!!! The part where he killed a teenager!!!! He is grappling with an actual serious trauma. And Liv knows this. Liv knows he wasn't trying to hurt her. He wasn't even being particularly selfish, imo; it's not like he wanted to go. Oh he could have answered the phone; ok well Liv knows where he lives and she's turned up uninvited to talk sense into him before. Why didn't she?

A) bc they're not real but b) I think she understands, on some level, why he had to go, and that she has to let him.

His marriage is not just an inconvenience to him. As far as he is concerned it is never going away; he loves his wife, he loves his kids, he believes in his god and the vows he has made, and he wants to be the man who stays. With that in mind it is kinder of him to leave Olivia than to continue to keep her in his orbit, bound to him and yet not ever his. He can't have her, and letting her go hurts her but it gives her the chance to maybe find happiness elsewhere.

You've pointed out that he does understand, better than pretty much anyone, exactly how Olivia feels, exactly how much she needed him, how she struggles with abandonment and feeling like no one wants her, bc she has told him more about herself, given more of herself to him than she has to anyone else and also he walked beside her for so long. They know each other. She knows his secrets and he knows her. So what makes him a threat? That he is the one who loves her most, and therefore is the one who can hurt her most?

The people we love most by default have the ability to hurt us more than anyone else, not because they choose to (yes, they know which buttons to press and which words cut the deepest but willfully inflicting pain for the sake of it is not love) but because they are so bound up in us. Their choices affect us more deeply than the choices of people we care less about. When you build a life with someone, every move they make has the ability to shake you bc you have the same foundation. It doesn't make them cruel. We have to learn to bend together.

The only way to protect Olivia from this pain is for her to never share her life with anyone else. If she doesn't depend on anyone she won't be hurt. If there's anyone who matters, tho, there is a risk of pain. That's life.

I hear you wanting to protect her and I fully get that but I don't see Elliot as a threat. Yes, his leaving hurt her. Yes, he could hurt her again. Anyone could. Anyone she loved, no matter who he was, could hurt her, bc she loves him and he could leave.

Their journey isn't over yet, either. We don't know how their coming together is gonna look. We don't know what kinda work they're gonna put in, what kinda conversations they're gonna have. So we don't know what this looks like.

And also. Fiction gives us a safe place to explore dynamics we maybe wouldn't want in real life and that's ok. Wanting them to be together in fiction doesn't erase your moral judgment, or your knowledge that you'd want better for yourself in a relationship.

So. Idk what to tell you, really. Your feelings are your own and you may just stay conflicted and that's ok!!! We all bring our own baggage to the table and sometimes we can't help but project our own feelings onto the characters, and sometimes that means we're gonna react differently to stuff than other people do. That's just human. I'm sorry if you feel you're struggling with this, but I hope that eventually you find some peace.

[rahleeyah]

i'm laughing but also worried because pretty sure people are going craaaazy with the whole elliot/ whats her name thing (that actress better be ready for some shit thrown her way)

honestly can't be too bothered about it all, just not into oc which is a shame because it doesn't give me all the background necessary to truly understand his path

definitely not a fan of elliot or eddie or whoever he is right now but i can understand it and accept that's what he needs or feels he needs to do

have a feeling the guilt and what not is just gonna push him deeper down but, it's his story, his choices, he's fully aware that he will have to deal with the consequences at one point unless he really doesn't care about losing it all

i just hope when the time comes he can be honest about it all to himself but also olivia, but yeah, so far i don't have a lot of faith that they will ever talk about what happened in the past or when they were apart, the show has just never shown to be about that, to wallow in the past or what not

i'd be pleasantly surprised if it does happen but if not then whatever i guess, we're probably gonna see them hook in the last minute of the show just so they don't have to struggle with showing us a real relationship between them because god forbid people be interested in that you know?

but now PLEASE let us see Olivia get some of her own loving, seriously if they can manage to show a widower of an almost 40-year long marriage have some fun 6 months after, i'm sure they can manage it with a hot single mom no? also remind us again why Peter Stone had to go? (and yes yes i know, not the same show/writers/showrunners... what a shame)

so excited for the crossover next week!

this feels like an ask from another century i'm sorry

here's my thing is like; i actually really freaking love oc, and all the good eo development has been happening over there. svu won't give us eo but oc is keeping us fed. and it looks like this week El has his badge back on so hopefully the undercover arc is behind him, or will be soon (plus wheatley's coming back get hyped).

i think he needed this. elliot thought he could run away from himself and he thought that was maybe a good thing but he needed to see the damage he's doing. hurting liv, not being there for eli and eli getting into trouble, his whole family struggling. sometimes the only way to realize something is a mistake is to do the thing and then go shit. the grass looked greener; he thought he'd feel better if he could stand in someone else's shoes. but he crossed the fence and realized the grass is just as dead and he can't take off elliot stabler's shoes. he sees now what he has, and what it means to him. that's huge for him, character development wise.

and i don't think we're just gonna see them hook up in the last second of the show. i think it's still gonna take time (we still have more than half the seasons left to go and svu has already been renewed thru s24, and oc was doing good numbers last I checked and a s3 seems likely for them) and I'm ok with that bc it should, bc they can't rush this and people can yell it's been 22 years all they want but for 10 of those years he wasn't even there and they have a lot of stuff to process as a result. it would feel rushed to just have them hook up right now. he needs to make up for his mistakes since he's been back, and liv needs a chance to unload. i could see it coming together by the end of the seasons tho. and the creative teams are talking and sharing notes. there's no need to go borrowing trouble as my mama used to say; no need get defensive over things that haven't happened yet.

i would not mind the return of peter stone tho lmao