#(apologies to the other dead pets as i am sure my departed rats have by now chewed holes in the bridge and pissed all over it)

[nostalgia-tblr]

i just read 'bifrost' as 'belfast'. this is not important i just wanted everyone to know.

[btsinwonderland]

A Drop of Poison - Ch. 7: Missing

A Loki fanfiction!

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It was your third time getting denied access to the infirmary. You stood there and created such a ruckus that Volstagg, the head of the infirmary, came out of the room to address you.

“What is all this bangin’ about?” he said, rubbing his thick orange beard and looking at you questionably.

The blonde-haired boy at the front desk scowled in your direction. “She was told last night that we are currently not allowing visitors, but she won’t listen.”

You threw him back a venomous gaze and took a deep breath, ready to present your case. “My friend Valkyrie was injured at yesterday’s game and I have to see her! She fell nearly thirty feet and nobody has told me a single thing about her condition. She could be dead for all I know and -“

“She’s over here. For the love of Merlin, please stop talkin’,” he said, leading you into the infirmary.

You smiled at the blonde boy and followed Volstagg through the door, into the infirmary. There were many more beds than you remembered seeing before. It seemed the room itself had elongated to make room for how many injured students there were. They bunked the beds to four levels and house-elves apparated between patients to provide care to those still healing.

There was one boy with a crooked looking arm that frightened you. He was sleeping on the third bunk of his bed group. Another girl had bandages around her eyes and was sitting up, scratching her pet rat between its ears. You gulped at the damage that was done, realizing that you had gotten off lucky.

Volstagg led you to a bed with the curtain drawn around it. It surprised you that Valkyrie got her own little section of the room.

“Thor brought her here in a mad fuss. She broke both her legs but should be fine in the mornin’,” Volstagg said. “You stay here as long as you need to, not a second more, understand?” He looked at you pointedly.

You smiled at him. “Thank you, sir.”

He grumbled away and left you alone. Valkyrie laid there with her eyes closed, and a bit of sweat on her brow. You walked over and drew up a chair beside her and took her hand. Using the back of your robe sleeve, you patted her forehead to get the sweat off.

“Hmmm, Professor?” she said.

You laughed. “Unfortunately, it’s just me,” you said.

Valkyrie smiled, eyes still closed. “I suppose you’re an alright consolation.”

“Are you okay?” you said, petting her hand.

Valkyrie opened her eyes and looked at you. The dark brown irises were rich, though the whites of her eyes had reddened from fatigue. “Oh stop it, I’m not on my deathbed, Freya. Volstagg gave me a mending brew, said I should be all better by the morning! Tastes like piss though.”

You laughed too loud, and it earned you a shush from a nearby house-elf applying ointment to a gash on a student’s arm. “Professor Odinson was quick to get you, though,” you said with a mischievous smile.

Valkyrie smiled. “I can still remember the feeling of being in his arms. Though the amount of pain I was in did block out most of it and made it slightly less romantic than I would have hoped…”

Footsteps approached, and you saw Professor Odinson stop at the foot of Valkyrie’s bed. “Freya! Volstagg couldn’t keep you out, eh?”

“Hell no!” Valkyrie said, shooting you a winning smile. Despite being bedridden, she was extraordinarily beautiful. You smiled back at her.

Professor Odinson reached over and adjusted the blankets by Valkyrie’s feet. She tried to sit up, but he gently stopped her by the shoulder and eased her down. “Take it easy, champ. We can’t have our captain injured again,” he said with a smirk.

Valkyrie looked at him with a devilish grin. “I do carry the team,” she said with a wink.

He laughed, and his gaze lingered over her lips for a fraction of a moment; you saw. You flushed when Professor Odinson looked at you and he cleared his throat. “Well, I won’t keep you two from catching up on your...girl talk or whatever it is you do.” He took out something from his pocket; it was a box of mini cauldron cakes which he shoved into Valkyrie’s hands. “Share these…” he said, leaving. “Heal quickly now Valkyrie, I won’t go easy on you when you return!”

“I wouldn't want you to, sir!” she said with a smile.

You grabbed a cauldron cake and took a bite, watching Valkyrie stare at Professor Odinson as he left. “Oh Professor, I’d love for you to go hard on me,” you said, in your best pleading voice.

Valkyrie snorted. “Shut it and don’t eat all my cakes.”

You both giggled and snacked on the cakes. Eventually, your thoughts drifted to a certain professor you were trying to avoid thinking about, but even amidst a beautiful flurry of chocolate and strawberry jam in your mouth, he still lingered.

After several more minutes of chatting, and another cauldron cake, you left Valkyrie to rest. The entire infirmary seemed to sigh with a sense of relief when you departed and you looked back at them with a scowl. You weren’t that loud...

It was still early in the morning, only ten o’clock, so you grabbed some breakfast before heading to your first Defence Against the Dark Arts class. You met Pom and Mo at the door, and the three of you took your seats.

A middle-aged man in a tweed jacket and a greying beard walked into the room, closing the door with a wave of his wand. “Welcome, students. I apologize for my tardiness this semester. I trust you have all been very well behaved and completed all your readings.”

He walked to the front of the class, through the aisle next to you, and you caught the musky scent of longrass and pipe smoke from him. “My six-month expedition in the Amazon was well worth it, though that is a story for another day. For now, we shall start on one of the spells in your readings. A shielding spell.”

You had not seen Professor Baldur since last year. He had been your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher for half your time at Hogwarts. His demeanour was a cross between strict and friendly, wholly depending on what side of his temperament you landed on.

Professor Baldur opened up his briefcase and took out a brown paper bag. He reached inside and pulled out a red apple. “Now, Darwish, throw this at my head,” he said, passing the apple to Mo.

Mo looked at you and Pom before looking back at the professor. “A-are you sure, sir?” Some students whispered and giggled in the background.

Professor Baldur stepped back, giving Mo enough distance to hurl it and said, “yes, yes, come on now, throw! And someone be sure to catch it, I don’t want my lunch bruised!”

Mo wound up and flung the apple at Professor Baldur. Surely, the fruit would have landed squarely on his forehead had he not flicked his wand in a flash and yelled, “protego!”

The apple bounced off of a blueish glow around the professor and clipped another student in the shoulder, only to be caught by his neighbour. The class murmured excitedly at the opportunity to learn such a powerful spell.

Mo leaned over and whispered, “would have been useful to learn this one before those damned crows nearly pecked my eyes out.”

You nodded back in response.

“Questions?” Professor Baldur asked.

Pom raised her hand. “Does this spell work on more powerful things, like other spells? Can it cover more people?”

The professor took a bite of his apple and nodded with his eyes closed. “Yes, yes, it all depends on the user. Protego can be as powerful as a great wall, protecting an entire community! Or it can be as flimsy as a cardboard box.” He walked over to your desk and leaned over you, Pom, and Mo. “However, protego cannot deflect the unforgivable curses. For those you must block, dodge, or interrupt.”

Just then, someone rapped on the door at the back of the classroom and it opened to Professor Sif. “Everyone head to the Great Hall for an emergency announcement. Classes are dismissed for the day.”

You looked at Pom and Mo, who shrugged. You did not expect this to be a celebratory dismissal, and it caused an anxious lump to form in your chest. The three of you followed the rest of the students to the Great Hall and sat at your table. Pom stood at the Ravenclaw table and glanced around as if she were waiting for someone but eventually sat down.

Once the last of the students and teachers trickled in, the doors shut and the murmurs quieted. You looked at the head table and looked for Professor Laufeyson; he sat beside Professor Odinson with a grim expression on his face. Something looked off, more than usual; he seemed pale and tired.

Headmistress Frigga rose, and there was no trace of a smile on her face today. “It has been a strange semester thus far. From our dear Professor Hubert Rattowl’s passing and the unfortunate incident of yesterday’s Quidditch game. I am sorry to pull you from class today. But it is with a heavy heart I must announce that one of your classmates has gone missing.” There was a rush of whispers across the hall which Professor Sif shushed loudly, as the Headmistress continued. “The teachers and I are up in arms to look for the missing student. And as such, we have deemed it necessary to lock down Hogwarts for the month of October and possibly the rest of the semester. This means no going outside of castle grounds, no trips to Hogsmeade, and there is a new curfew of seven o’clock, post meridiem.”

There were several groans at this announcement. The Headmistress looked down at the students and clasped the edges of the podium. “Any students caught breaking these rules will be expelled and sent home immediately.”

“It’s the Dark One!” someone shouted. Then whispers erupted from every table, talking about his return and some even threw Professor Laufeyson’s name into the fire.

“Silence!” Headmistress Frigga yelled. “I will not tolerate gossip in my school!” She gave a gentler look after silencing the room with her commanding tone. “I know you are scared, as am I. However, we will not get through this if we cannot work together. Now is a time for Hogwarts to be unified and diligent. Take care of your fellow classmates and teachers. We must be both kind and cautious.”

Then, some of the other teachers took turns providing a list of their new schedules, particularly for the students engaged in night classes or other extra-curricular activities. You looked down at the table, thinking about what was going on. First the attack and now a student had actually gone missing. You looked back at Professor Laufeyson, but he was no longer at the table or in the Great Hall.

Professor Hogun walked past you towards the Ravenclaw table. He paused over Pom and put a hand on her shoulder. He then escorted her out of the Great Hall.

“What’s that about?” Mo said.

“I don’t know,” you replied, though the lump in your chest only tightened.

“I can’t believe we can’t go to Hogsmeade! I was looking forward to our annual butterbeer bash,” he said, crossing his arms.

You gave him a look, to which he only smiled and said, “the best way for coping with this distress is to have a nice butterbeer don’t you think?”

“Mo, I don’t think anything is going to calm my distress,” you said with a laugh. The dread in your stomach remained.

As you exited the Great Hall, you noticed Pom at the end of the corridor, with a few students around her. Her face was completely red, and she was sobbing. One of her friends hugged her and Pom buried her face in their arms and cried. You walked over to the crowd and tapped someone on the shoulder.

“What’s wrong? Is Pom alright?” You said.

The student frowned and shook his head. “The missing student...is Pom’s brother, Ken.”

Before you could even process the news, you saw Professor Laufeyson come down the hall. When the student you spoke to caught sight of him, he yelled aloud and lunged at the professor. A girl with braids held the boy back. “It’s your fault! It’s your fault he’s missing!” He nearly spat his words at Professor Laufeyson.

Professor Laufeyson looked grim, but maintained an impartial expression. “I don’t know what you mean. I am sorry to hear about our missing student. I hope they find him.”

“You’re the Dark One’s son! You’re causing all this to happen!” The boy said.

The other students gasped, and for a moment you saw rage on Professor Laufeyson’s face. Then Professor Hogun broke up the crowd and took the insolent student by the arm. “You do not speak to your Professor in that tone, Warren! Minus twenty points for Ravenclaw and detention!” He guided the boy down the hall before throwing Professor Laufeyson a disapproving glance, as if he agreed with the student anyway.

As the crowd dispersed, Professor Laufeyson left, and you hesitated for a moment before you followed him. You followed him down the corridor, past the library, until the hordes of panicked students thinned out to the point you were alone. “Wait! Sir!”

He stopped, arms crossed. “What?” he said, turning to face you. His face was a mask.

“Are you alright?”

He actually chuckled. “Why wouldn’t I be?” he said, shrugging. You walked up closer to him. He gave you an incredulous look, but you could sense something beyond it. Irritation. “It’s nothing I have not heard before. And I must grant that boy a touch of respect since he was brave enough to tell me what everyone else was thinking.”

You looked at him then, afraid to say what you wanted to say.

“And you wonder the same thing,” he said. A glimmer of disappointment in his eyes. “Just like the rest of them.”

That was not fair. “I’ve been trying to help you!”

He laughed again. “What makes you think I need your help?” He turned away to leave and you could not bear the frustration.

Your anger bubbled to the surface. “I saw you die!”

For a moment, his eyes widened, but he maintained his composure. “What?”

You breathed in and exhaled slowly. “I have a...gift, or at least that’s what Heimdall says. I have visions.”

He watched you curiously as you continued.

“I have these dreams, and for a long time, all I dreamed of was that blue cube - the Tesseract you called it - in the lake. It’s in some sort of cavern. I don’t know where. But then, before you arrived in school, I saw you, in my vision. In the cavern, with these strange creatures surrounding you.”

Professor Laufeyson looked at you with a sort of satisfaction, despite hearing of his death. “So that’s how you knew about the Tesseract,” he said, cocking his head to the side.

Your anger flared up again. “Hold on, did you act upset so I would feel bad for you and tell you everything?”

He raised his hands up. “Don’t take it so badly, at least I didn’t use any magic this time!”

You grit your teeth. This man was insufferable. “You just lie, all the time then?”

He walked towards you and put a finger under your chin as he leaned in to whisper in your ear. “People lie all the time, love, I just own it.”

You ignored the reaction your body had to his touch and stepped back. “Why do you want that cube? Does it have anything to do with the missing student?”

“You can thank my father for the missing student. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more disappearances. Times are changing! As for what I want, you should already know that, seer. I can’t do your job for you.” He turned and walked away.

You were so frustrated you could shake him. “But you’ll die if you search for the Tesseract!”

He shrugged. “What difference does that make? Nobody cares.”

“I don’t want you to die.”

He stopped walking for a moment and turned his head slightly. “Then you’d be the first.” He said and left you standing there, alone in the corridor.

[portlandmainehomes]

21 Most Unusual Pet Encounters Realtors Are Still Reliving

If you thought cranky and quirky buyers and sellers presented one of the biggest challenges Realtors face, you may have forgotten about something even more unpredictable: their pets. Real estate industry experts shared the strangest encounters they've had with animals. Some are hilarious, while others are downright scary. All will make you think twice the next time you enter an open house. 1. Get off me, goat! via GIPHY "Was showing an acre of property to buyers. The sellers had some farm animals — chickens, goats, etc. One of the goats started following me around. Almost aggressively, harassment style, and this was not a small goat. Eventually, well, it tried to mount me. Horribly embarrassing, I ended up running inside while my buyers toured the rest of the backyard. For some reason, it was fixated on me. My clients could not stop laughing." -- Leah Bubb, Realtor® with HomeSmart 2. Dead or alive? "Came upon a mini schnauzer peacefully sleeping on a bedroom bed. As I got closer, I realized it was not only dead and stuffed but that it had a breathing apparatus in it to make it seem alive!" -- Amy Williamson, Realtor® with RE/MAX Integrity Actual footage above, no lie! 3. Realtor or dog sitter? "During an open house I was asked to hold a dog outside, but I needed to sing to the dog and rock it like a baby. I was like ‘…What?' But I did it." -- Pate Stevens, an agent with luxury real estate firm Nourmand & Associates. 4. A wee accident "I was getting ready to start the open house and the client was cleaning her things so I took the dog in my lap, and when he got back down I noticed it (he was tiny so it wasn't a lot, but still! Pee!)! Not a great way to start off! It showed visibly on my outfit and the tenant freaked out, she was so embarrassed. Luckily I have a pup at home so I knew that with a tide pen and a hair dryer I could get it out. The tenant was mortified but had both of those things so I got it out and moved on." -- Sam Lazar, an agent with Triplemint. 5. Oh, rats! via GIPHY "There was a time recently, where my buyer and I were traveling through the home. I am not a fan of unfinished basements. With flashlight in hand, (because in the unfinished ones, the lighting is always horrible) we walked down the long hallway. And we heard the oddest sound. A mixture of a squeak and scratching. At first I was really nervous because I thought there were mice. Then there it was! A big fat rat in a cage. We both let out a screech and got out of the basement real quick." -- Denise Supplee, Realtor®/Investor/Landlord Expert/co-founder and operations director of SparkRental.com / Educator at Snaplandlord.com. 6. These guys weren't so lucky...

"I had a listing appt and the main showcase of this hoarders home was in the basement. I'm glad I brought an "assistant" as I just knew he might be an odd duck when I got the call. He looked at us with a weird excitement and asked us to come see his most prized possession. (Yes we had a mag flashlight and pepper spray) Turns out it was a mouse museum. Dead mice in jars. He promised to name the next one after me!!!! 😳 I passed on the listing." -- Danielle Mahnken, Agent with Gloria Nilson & Co Real Estate 7. Dog day afternoon via GIPHY "My clients and I got locked inside an apartment because the door knob wasn't secure. After not being able to get out for awhile one of my clients climbed out the fire escape and starting banging on windows. He unknowingly knocked on a doggy daycare directly under the apartment and when the employee opened the door, at least 15 dogs ran out and started running around. Once the employee corralled all the dogs back inside, we were able to walk through their store to escape." -- Maggie Fanney, an agent with Triplemint. 8. Reptile Room "Showing Instructions: Locked door in basement is reptile room. Do not attempt to open, as they are uncaged. If buyer is interested, seller will open room for 2nd showing. Needless to say I didn't show the house." -- Jessica Thomas, Former Professional Development Chair at Kansas City Regional Association of REALTORS® and Realtor® at Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate- Kansas City Homes 9. Horsing Around "Here I am, fresh off the licensing train at the ripe age of 18. Meeting a new potential client, I show up early open up the house. It's a cute little bungalow in a small 'historic' town. I walk around the corner and there is a horse in the living room! (vacant home) It's just chilling there! To be honest, I'm not sure how it even got in there. But you could tell it had been in there a while. I called the listing agent and he had no idea how it happened or who the horse belonged to. So, I called up a family member who runs a rescue and after doing some footwork, we got it home. Almost a decade later and it's still one of my favorite stories." -- Danyl Winderlin, Realtor® with Realtypath 10. Hogging all the attention via GIPHY "While I was showing a vacant home, a massive hog wandered up to the property and started eating grass. He stayed the whole time we were showing. When I told the listing agent about the hog, she stated that it was negotiable." -- Emily Isbell, Realtor® at The RealTeam Homes & Land 11.Table-sized turtle via GIPHY "I was photographing a home and the homeowners had left. I was on the third floor and heard a bunch of noise on the main level like furniture was being moved around. I thought they were back home, but when I came in the living room there was a GIANT turtle in the center of the room. I mean like the size of a big round coffee table. He was banging into the furniture and causing quite a ruckus! -- Angela Romano, Realtor®; at Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Fox & Roach 12. Hamster mishap "During a showing, I was in the hallway turning on lights while my clients were checking out the hall bath. I stepped into a child's room to flip on the light at about the same time the pet hamster escaped from his plastic exercise ball,apparently the child had forgotten to take the hamster out of the ball and put the little guy back into his cage. Before I knew it, the hamster had rushed passed me, down the hall and into the hall bath, where my client proceeded to stomp on him! He did not die right away, so we gently placed him back into his cage but I cannot imagine that he lived much longer... That was an awkward phone call to the listing agent but I was sure glad that I wasn't in the listing agents shoes, having to tell the family before they came back home. My clients did not buy that home." -- Brenda Miller, REALTOR® at eXp Realty 13. Monkey business "We have a local lender in this area that has a pet Capuchin Monkey. He brings it to closings sometimes, always a hit!" -- Ed Cordle, Realtor® at Genesis Real Estate 14. Creepy Kitty via GIPHY "My partner and I were showing a precious little townhouse to a client. A beautiful solid white fluffy cat lived there. The cat had a pure evil expression the entire time and followed us around the house. When we got to the master bedroom, the cat jumped up onto the bed, looked us dead in the eyes and peed on the bed never breaking its glare at us. Pure evil!" -- Danyalle Friday, Realtor® at Montgomery Metro Realty 15. Just ducky via GIPHY "A garage full of ducks at the home inspection. Keep in mind, they weren't there before. And boy did it smell horrible!" -- Roberta Tynik Lejeune, Realtor® at Better Home and Gardens Real Estate 16. Just Batty via GIPHY "Walked down into the unfinished basement of an older home a few weeks ago... was only down there for about 10 seconds until a bat flew by my head. Bye Felicia." -- Ryan Ballard, REALTOR® at Key Realty 17. Butting heads via GIPHY "Chased by neighbor's goats all the way into the house, where they then began butting the door. A horse in the garage was a big surprise too." -- Jackie Merritt Realtor® The Danberry Co., Realtors 18. Polite Parrot via GIPHY "I was showing a house once, and I arrived before my buyers. I rang the doorbell just to be sure no one was home. When no one answered, I opened the door and heard, 'Hello?! Who's there?' Startled, I started to apologize and explain that I was a Realtor® who was there for a showing. I got cut off again with another, 'Hello?! Who's there?' About 30 seconds later, I finally realized it was a parrot and not a person." -- Kara Pagliarulo, Attorney at Law at Attorney Support Solutions, Kara Pagliarulo, Esq. 19. Squirrely showing "I came across a caged pet squirrel once. He didn't seem happy. -- Jamie Hering, Realtor® at Better Homes & Gardens Real Estate 20. Magic carpet via GIPHY "I was showing a home and the owner was there. There was an empty glass tank. I asked what used to be in the tank and he said it was a snake. When I asked where the snake was he said he wasn't sure but he knew it was around somewhere. When I looked in the corner there was a lump moving under the carpet." -- Heather Bennett, REALTOR® at Hunt Real Estate ERA 21. Pig contingency via GIPHY "The sellers had a pet pig, and for unknown reasons, they had decided to leave the pig roaming around inside the home when they left. Just as the buyers arrived, 'Stella' came swaggering out of a bedroom to greet everyone. She was a medium-sized pig, quite charismatic, and friendly, although noticeably aromatic if you catch my drift. That pig stayed right by my buyers' sides during the entire showing, walking from room to room, occasionally squeaking it's approval while looking up at the young couple. I could tell that these folks were becoming more attached to the pig than to the house itself. They had fallen in love! As we were departing the home, the buyers were non-committal. I thought to myself, 'They really love this pig, and I also knew that the sellers had a dilemma to solve that the buyers didn't know about. They couldn't bring their pig with them to the new apartment they were moving to. So just before entering our vehicles to leave, I said, 'You seem to have taken a real liking to 'Stella.' They nodded in agreement. 'If you decide to place an offer on this home I could write a contingency into the contract that the pig would go with the house. I think the sellers might just go along with that!' They smiled and said, 'You're kidding with us, right?' I said, 'No, I'm serious! I'll write it right into the deal if you want!' The young bride looked squarely at her husband and said, 'Hon, Let's do that!' Back at my office, I placed the contract/offer in front of Gene, my then manager, for him to peruse and approve. He smiled while staring down at the clause, 'The pig (Stella) conveys with the property.' The deal was made, and everyone was happy. Everyone at my office got a big kick out of this unique contingency which I included in the offer. We had lots of fun in those days at the office. All the agents were like family and friends. After the closing, one of my colleagues, Raylene, presented me with a little statue of a pig that really resembled Stella. I still cherish that statue to this day, and look at it when I need a smile." -- Tom Cirignano, author of The Constant Outsider I'll leave you with a viral video that's making its rounds on the internet (trust me, it's pet related — just wait for it). No word on whether the woman is a door-knocking agent or not. Let's just pretend she is. Read the full article