#(i think i did but i cant guarantee)
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it was certainly a choice for warrior cats to put a fan's cat in the book and then have his backstory be that his owners put him in a bag and threw him in the river as a kitten
#sorry i just cant stop thinking about it its kind of funny but also kind of mean because thats like. a readers cat.#i mean if theyre a warrior cats character then its guaranteed that bad things will happen to them. but still . hello#i remember to name this character they had a bunch of people just comment their cats names#and then later had a poll where we could vote out of their favorite options#and one of the options was my cat's name. like i didnt actually submit it someone else with a cat with the same name did#but like that could have been MY cat who was thrown in the river. crazy#asc spoilers#thunder spoilers#ask to tag idk maybe some people might find this upsetting#for people who dont read warrior cats or dont read the new books that are seeing this. no im not making this up
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rerun wishlist is getting out of hand
#society if i stopped pulling on events i know i cant complete...#good news is some of these are maybes at least...#the one i Most want from here is yuyan bc winge#glow feels like a waste to Not finish bc im guaranteed the echo within the pulls needed to get those last pieces#erika is the biggest maybe bc i have no ref + the item i want most of those remaining is. eyebrows.#i need white brows 😭😭#sleepy.sn#+ i did want to finish moonset but i dont think thats happening with w3 probably coming soon so#thats gone
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plbttt :p my wizards' younger cohorts, Just Cuz. I figured I'd have to draw them eventually so I wanted to get the designs down.
I actually tried to... Follow The In Game Models!! just a bit, of course.
dragonborn kept crashing the creation kit so I couldn't get a good ref of Talvas, but fuck it, we ball.
#i kept asking myself How Can I Make Talvas Look More Pathetic#and i dont think i did enough tbh#also you cant tell me aicantar doesnt want to hurt people#the way he wanted the player character dead soooo bad in hard answers. cmon.#he wouldve done it himself if he could i guarantee you that#anyways#the elder scrolls#skyrim#aicantar#talvas fathryon#my art
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yes making friends always seemed harder than jusy going I Want You on people . this didn't backfire against me in any way (😄.)
#I can perfectly explain it also . Im not insane.#how do you truly guarantee someone will be interested enough in you to have a close relationship . Exactly . Romance.#It just automatically attaches them to you and they cant argue with that because love feels nice to Most people so . They cant deny it#and they cant deny it because going I dont want to date you anymore seems more painful than just going I dont want to be your friend anymor#romance just puts an extra significance to a relationship and i think that needs to be stopped so i can finally behave like an actual perso#Okay.#Did not mean to write all that.
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stupid garbage brainstorming for possibilities w gandhi + abe in future seasons . normally id type the words out onto the drawing afterwards but this is just so cringe and self indulgent thst it doesn’t matter enough to do that
#mine#the show actually having them date i should say i honestly consider Literally impossible#not only is this show like allergic to actually doing anything that involves mlm in a way that isnt joking or in the background#but i also feel like.. idk im so used to people seeing relationships like theirs as Just Friends that i Imagine the writers thinking that-#way too where like if someone pitched the idea of abe n gandhi actually having repressed feelings for eachother that were just never made-#clear in season 1 for various reasons (well apart from. You Know. and the list goes on but that’s not what im talking about at this second)#if someone were to pitch that idea theyd be like. What?? No!! Theyre only friends! ya know#and even absolutely then i cant imagine them not making it angsty like at all. of course in my world they would bc Its Gandhabe They’re-#Literally In Love Forever And Nothing Can Come Between That but like canonically? its pretty much guaranteed they’d break up obviously bc-#that’s just what this show is#honeslty my dream scenario? my personal favourite out of all these outcomes? the one where it’s implied heavily that theyre in love but-#the show does nothing with it and they just stay best frriends. that’s what im Most happy with personally#and it’s like… literally the closest to their relationship as it is already without anything else happening#okay bye#i love gandhabe did you know this
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fun interaction i never got before: if going against multiple enemies in a single encounter and all enemies have low enough hp, Bonnie can and will do the final hit on all of them. one after another
#thats kinda funny to think abt#i imagine them just running in swinging and killing Everything#isat#ooo but it doesnt seem guaranteed? i just did it again but they only finished off 2 of the 3#or maybe the damage rolls were different#.. does this game have damage rolls actually i cant remember#like probably but. i remember doing the exact same damage with 1 attack versus 1 enemy n being like. hm.
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very much scared about wtf theyre gonna do in rebirth man….. all the fanservice shit in the demo/trailer is making me worried about if square enix is just gonna push to appealing to the fujo s*fik*ra fans…. and well. they probably are . a bit. the official playstation uk account on twitter made a tweet playing into that… which already irritated me but seeing the weird dialogue with sephiroth and cloud in the demo??? oh yeah its over. we are finished. This game will piss me off more than i thought it would 😭😭😭😭😭 auggghh i wish remake never existed its so useless . whatever
#genuinely cannot stand anything from remake#some of the things they do is done SOMEWHAT well sure#i think the way they did seph was pretty neat! even if weirdos ruined it#but theres a lot of glaring issues even with seph that i just… Cannot get behind#and the insert of just fanservice stuff over and over again is definitely a massive issue#yeah fanservice is guaranteed in stuff like this i know that#but sometimes it can get so bad it’ll just ruin everything. Not to be overdramatic#i really wish i could like the remake games and have fun but i cant… i cant…#watching my favorite thing get destroyed makes me SAD
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gods damnit im going insane about alex and mathew again
#messages from the stars#wip: power doesn't guarantee glory#oc: alex ruinde#oc: mathew mckoy#LOOK ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY'RE SO INTERESTING#thinking about. alex telling mathew “im just gonna hurt you again. ive done it before. you shouldn't trust me. you shouldn't forgive me."#“not after what i did”#and mathew responding with#“do you really think i cant decide who to trust? why is it up to you whether i forgive you or not? have some faith in me.”#“trust that i wouldnt give you a second chance unless i was sure you deserved it. ”#“trust me alex. trust that im right to trust you.”
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and if i said.... pet.er peve.nsie.....
#i have never read the books but ive just watched the first 2 narnia movies#it was def my first time seeing prince caspian idk ab the other narnia i probs watched it as a kid#but he..... he is calling me#mr doomed blonde twink who makes poor choices but is doing his best....... welcome back all my muses#i was gonna say welcome back kurt but... tate... levi.... probably more#ive never been. Good at writing fantasy im not great w anything that requires lore#hes just. oh hes calling to me#and the. specifically the pains of living a life in narnia and being king and then having to go back to the real world and be Just A Kid#idk if hes in the third movie im ab to watch it now but the bitter sweet end of 2 where he says hes leaving narnia and he wont be coming ba#and aslan says its bc he has nothing more to learn from it like..... kinda heartbreaking and would destroy u as a person#a world where ur king and u do everything u can to make the right choices but u dont do things really right and u get people killed#and yeah narnia prevails but it doesnt prevail bc of u. its in part bc of u but ur decision cost lives it risked a lot#and then its like. well ur leaving now and thats it bc it taught u what u needed to learn#and like maybe it did but he had no chance at redemption at fixing things there like his redemption was to leave it to someone more capable#and then he has to just like. go be a person. and live a normal life#like thats wild#im gonna go watch the third movie if u have read the books sound off on if u think i should based entirely on my little rant ab peter#the issue here tho. is if i made him. u see. two muses named peter on this blog... both with a last name starting w p.... its almost like.#its almost like one would have to be a solo blog#'but quin ur literally never here anyway' but what if for a hyperfixation muse i was here#this post started w the intent of 'narnia peter solo blog' but now... i am thinking perhaps spider peter would be a better solo bc of his.#bc of the fixation i have#however he intimidates me a Lot as a solo blog bc hes such a. everyone knows him u know hes a Big muse and i fear the pressure of that#then again narnia i think is big too? and theres the talks of the new movies so thats also potentially big muse#its crazy bc i have sososo much muse for every muse i have but my brain is saying abandon this blog and make both peters solos#and i Cant do that#but at the same time................................#my issue has always been too many blogs and being stretched too thin but also. w all due respect. who cares#like i am here to have fun and most of the time my blogs dont last bc no one writes w me not bc i dont want those muses#and yeah theres no guarantee making a new blog would change that but idk. kinda vibe w the idea of starting new
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a weird little thing abt me is i will definitely mock shitty ai art but it never feels right doing it about the hands simply by virtue of the fact that a lot of them look indistinguishable from the hands i was doing years ago when i first got a drawing tablet
#like id have the right number of fingers obv but like. putting the thumb on the wrong side#fingers bending weird directions or connecting in weird places#weird anatomy at joints‚ freaky nails‚ bad proportions‚ bad perspective‚ etc etc etc#people say 'this isnt ai like in sci-fi its just machine learning' but to me its a lot more interesting to look at it as#'this isnt ai like in scifi /yet/'#like yeah the stuff ai does in fiction isnt possible at this point but like. i find it difficult not to wonder if this#is the ai version of infancy stages yknow? like.#ppl go 'its cant write its own stuff its just recycling stuff its been fed' as if thats not kinda how people . learn to talk?#idk i just find it hard to agree with arguments that act like where we currently are at is the furthest these technologies could possibly#evolve in our lifetimes#'it just makes things up' you mean like toddlers going on long winding rambles about unicorns and monsters or w/e#'it cant do art good' you mean like a child? or even just literally Anyone who doesnt know how to draw yet?#like. idk. i feel like people are trying very very hard to insist the ai of today is still the same as it was in the clevverbot days#and that its impossible to evolve any further#people want to cling to the old days when ai stuff didnt pass the turing test by a much wider marging than it tends to now#dont want to admit that it does indeed sometimes surpass the turing test and likely would be able to even moreso were it#not for restraints#(see: that one stock trading ai that did insider trading vs various chatbots not bring allowed to write disparaging things#about copyrighted people or w/e)#if ai stuff was still truly indistinguishable from human works then we wouldnt need to spend so much time#hashtag exposing things as being ai generated#and i just think its bad to‚ in pursuit of that‚ mock things that are like. just stuff all beginner artists struggle with#i guarantee you there is not a single artist out there who hasnt drawn a hand that made them want to curl up and die at least once.#i got very off-topic there but swung it back around at the end there so. hashtag win#origibberish
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absolutely getting fined for this ❤️
#soooo I took my fairy lights off my walls bc we’re all moving out soon and we’ve been joking about accidentally peeling the paint#and not only did the paint peel but there was soot EVERYWHERE#and naturally I took a wet cloth to it to clean it and yeah the small dots of soot where my lights had been came off#but instead they became huge smears of soot all over the fucking wall#and when I tried to clean THAT I made it worse#one wall is actually unsalvagable I’m gonna have to fully repaint it and pray#luckily it’s white so I don’t need to worry about shade matching and the lighting in my room is so appalling that I don’t think my landlord#will notice the one white wall is Significantly Brighter than the other#BUT ONE WALL IS THIS UGLY GREY BROWN COLOUR THAT MY FLATMATE ALREADY TRIED TO SHADE MATCH BC HERS PEELED#AND SHE CANT AND I LITERALLY HAVE SOOT SMEARS EVERYWHERE#it’s an £80 fine per wall im looking at potentially £160 in fines if I can’t fix this#my flatmate is gonna try fix it tomorrow bc I’m going home#she was actually really good about it like when I freak out I get angry and I was just raging about trying to fix it#and she was like ‘it’s okay I’ve seen worse I’ll do it tomorrow I guarantee I can get it off’ and I didn’t even ask her to#bc it didn’t even cross my mind to expect her to help with it so it was just sweet#I hope she can fix at least the coloured wall bc I can’t paint over that#the white wall I fucking doubt can be fixed but I can paint that one at least#I’m just so pissed off bc normally you put a deposit down at the start of the tenancy and if u damage the property they use that money#to cover the charges. like it’d be shit to not get my deposit back but in my head that’s money already spent#whereas this is just a straight up fee of £160 potentially#and I’m already so behind with money like I saved £2k for america so I have NOTHING ELSE banked#I owe my parents that £600 from rent still AND I owe my friend £155 bc we’re going to Ireland in September#like at least my friend is v understanding and I made it very clear before she agreed to cover me that I wouldn’t be able to pay back for#a good few months and she didn’t mind#so I’ll put that one on the back burner#but STILL WHAT THE FUCKKKKK I’m so mad why do I make such a mess out of literally everything it’s acc impressive#hella goes to uni
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ball dur's gait 3 is ruining my life
#mine#I THINK I LOCKED MYSELF OUT OF AST4RI0N ROMANCE BY ACCIDENT#AND THE WORST PART IS I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW!!!!!!!#LIKE. WHAT SCENE DID I FUCK UP IN. WHICH DIALOGUE DID I MISS. WHERE DID I GO WRONG#i just got to act 3 and i had the option to ask him why him and my char haven't [ahem] in a while and i decided to click on it#and he finished the conversation by being like 'yeah theres never going to be anything between us'#i insta-reloaded to my save right before the convo because i refuse to accept that as being canon#even though i know the structure of this game well enough to know the fact that i have the option to have that convo#is like a 99% guarantee that i cant romance him#but fuck me man i wanna be a little delusional and keep believing#but if it's really over...............then 1. i'm very upset especially because this is my self insert#(although that is oddly fitting in its own way)#2. i still care him so much and in my heart i want to believe maybe after the events of the game something happens between them#3. im going to kill myself#and 4. on the upside i guess this does offer some interesting story/rp aspects i could play with in my silly mind#but fuuuuuuck me man i was counting on being able to do it i really thought i could get this to work...................#fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck man#so many things have gone wrong in this run it's almost kinda funny#i guess this also adds another playthrough to my planned list cause even though i watched the supercut and i know his romance already#i still kind of want to experience it for myself...even if it's not with my insert :(#but then again my tavs and durges will always be a little bit of an insert cause i'm going to project on them and they'll always#have something in common with me#i can try again in the future...#my 2nd run is going to be durgestarion with durge resisting the urges which i think will be really fun#but i guess im gonna need to use a guide LMAO#fuuuuuuuuuuck dude even though i reloaded to make the convo uncanon i feel like me and my little tav guy are sharing a deeply painful momen#ok this is too many tags WHATEVER i have a call in 30 minutes and then i'm playing the game for the rest of the day#even if he doesn't want me i will still care him......#oh i guess that's the other upside is i can see nonromantic dialogue i might not have seen otherwise#i'll probably see friend dialogue in future playthroughs when i romance other characters but who knows
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bitches will compare any well-written, heart-wrenching, thought-provoking piece of media to His Dark Materials. (i am bitches)
#yes this is about good omens#and the new spiderverse a while back#you can guarantee that every time i watch or read something that makes me think im like wow this reminds me of#his dark materials#hdm#i cant describe what reading hdm did to me when i was 17 but i know it was big#fundamentally altered the way i think#anyway#good omens#i guess?#anyway yall READ HIS DARK MATERIALS#WATCH THE SHOW#PLS#sometimes it seems like im the only one in the world (irl) who has#and if one of my like 20 followers knows hdm. pls. i gotta talk about it
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There’s a game called Caligula effect which is by the crew that did persona 1 and 2 so I think that game also fits in your mindscape games chart
Yeah I got asked where AI: The Somnium Files is on the chart too and I'm regretting not putting persona 4 on (so I can vibe check p5 more than I already did) so I'll check out Caligula effect and add that on in a revamp probably
If anybody has suggestions for the revamp lemme know I admittedly made this chart at like 2 in the morning and could barely think of anything
#cant guarantee i'll play them all through though i have been meaning to play ai for a while i just keep missing the sales#i think. i played caligula effect's demo in high school and didnt vibe with it but ill check it out again#i can at least view the story past the wikipedia synopsis which did not help much
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waltzing back in like im all that
#ik its not even funny at this point but im actually back this time i think#its been a mess with capital M like im not even kidding#but im back#and since i know im not actually so amazing that just my presence is enough i am back with content.#i cant say precisely how much because my ass will absolutely ruin it if i do but it exists and it will happen#that way you will be able to trust me#see that? making commitments#im growing#anyways hiiii#how are yall#what did i miss#if something abt ST happened i can guarantee u i most likely missed it i have barely any social media besides this#so omw to find out i guess
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yesterday coach brought up two of my insecurities/traumas from school which made cry when i got home and today i feel like my writing’s not enough 😩 pls treat me nicer
#being a succesful author is my dream pls#but no ok i feel like im not enough today but i AM enough. it will pass#and if im slow it doesnt mean im a failure#also im probably going to a fencing tournament in october which normally would make me happy buuuut the convo went like that#coach: do you want to go to the tournament? me: i want to but i keep that doing that thing with my head and it’s guarantees losing isnt it?#coach: yeah. it is. but you go there for experience as well#me: 😐#so yeah does he think im a failure? probably not. do i think i am one? sometimes. so if im going to lose anyway why go#i mean he also said id meet other people so thats nice but still#and he said we’re only starting actual fencing from next month so ill have only three weeks to prepare??? why cant we start already#yeah some others did a break during summer but i didnt#the most i missed was two weeks#and yeah insulting is our humor buuut i wish he didnt use my actual insecurities for that like being slow and speaking silently/not clearly#those ones shatter me#though i kinda also told him that not my brain is working slowly today#and he asked: do you know why im not doing this exercise? me: yeah because your knees dont bent that much#ok that could have sounded a bit mean but it was lighthearter and he said it that himself not long ago#and then i turned to my pals and said: what? he said it himself#mylife
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