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#but no ok i feel like im not enough today but i AM enough. it will pass
cheri-2047 · 3 days
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Could you maybe try high school Fem!Scaramouche hc with a huge crush on us but being super reluctant and shy about it?? :3
OKAY. I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN FOR SCARA OKAY PLEASE BEAR WITH ME 😭 also dude ure my first request thank u so much <3
so I didn’t know how to write this but THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT. Anyways basically I’m gonna write a bunch of headcanons then some scenarios under that
Please I’m so sorry if I mischaracterized him I really tried I SWEAE 😭😭😭
This is not proofread btw
WARNINGS: none, it’s all fluff :3
Fem!Scaramouche Headcanons:
HEADCANONS:
Fem!Scara would seem like extremely pissed off to everyone, but she would do small tasks for you that she never does with anyone else
Fem!Scara would do her best to not make it obvious that she likes you. (Even if that means accidentally hurting you with her snarky remarks)
Fem!Scara would be more quiet around you. She doesn’t become as arrogant or stubborn around you, well she would be but just not as much since she cares for you
Fem!Scara ime personally, I don’t think she would be much on physical touch, but if you hugged her she would pay your back and put her chin on your shoulder
Fem!Scara enjoys seeing you be passionate about things. She would listen all day to you and keep eye contact.
Fem!Scara would be very well at hiding when she’s flustered. Like if you’re play flirting with her, she would just end it like “…? What do you expect me to say to that?” When in reality, she’s really giddy inside
Fem!Scara would choose to sit beside you during field trips, or if you go to school via school bus. She says it’s just a coincidence (for field trips) but in reality, she really made it so you Teo sat together
Confession time:
Fem!Scara would be really pleased if you confessed to her first. She wouldn’t say yes immediately, (like instead of going “yes yes!!” She would be in disbelief)
Fem!Scara if she were to confess, she would spend a lot of time thinking how she would do it. She would worry if you said no and I feel like she would spend a week bringing herself down saying you’d never say yes and it’s a waste of time (no it’s not)
Scara enters the school earlier than usual to look for your locker. She had decided to just send a letter. Scara finds it and rereads his letter (for the 100th time today…)
“Dear y/n,
Before I say anything, if you were to say no that’s completely fine. I understand I am not the best, but the truth is, these past few months, I’ve started to develop feelings for you. I just didn’t say or do anything about it well..since I didn’t really want you to know or anyone really. I really really like you, but understand if you would just want to stay friends. Thank you for hearing me out.
-Scara”
SHe hesitantly folds it up again, leaving a candy you really like taped to it as he slips it in the gap of your locker. SHe can barely calm himself down but he goes back to the classroom.
As she sees you, she stiffens up, but tries to remain the same.
“Did she read it?”
“Has she even seen it?”
“Maybe I didn’t write long enough?”
“Ah damn it I barely wrote anything!”
She stares at her lap, not daring to look up. As suddenly when you tap hee table, you mention the letter.
“I saw what you left..”
She immediately PANICS clutching her skirt getting ready for a no. She just laughs it off as if it were nothing to hide that she’s actually a mess inside.
“Haha, well what d’you think?”
She tries to act cocky and stuff. But as you come to terms and conditions (when u say yes) she looks at you in disbelief.
“….is this a joke? Are you lying?”
As you say no it’s not a joke, she then stands up and taps your hand.
“Thank you…”
WOWWOWOWOOWOWOW THIS WAS NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL AHHAHAHAH. Anyways uhhh if anyone else wants to request smth, go ahead. School just ended so I have nothing to do for the next few months. Once again, my bad if I accidentally mischaracterized her. I really tried ok. ANYWAYS THANK U, U DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY REQUESTES SMTH FROM ME LIKE I KID U NOT I GOT REALLT HAPPY AT LIKE 6 AM😭😭😭 anyways thank u again omg I hope this was ok 😭😭
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aureentuluva70 · 7 months
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wutheringmights · 3 months
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#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life#woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour#i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom#i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess#earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like#2 weeks straight#i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house#i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you#i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control#fucking sucks man#i hate ibs#in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work?#ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick.#it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school#while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick#but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then#but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off#and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh#this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person
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wellthatschaotic · 5 months
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hey guys wanna know what the temperature over here is in the middle of december? in the middle of the fucking winter? currently it's 46*F and the high of today is gonna be 76*F. it's. not even fucking jacket weather today. it's only cold because it's nighttime by 9am it's gonna be like 60*F already
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feline-evil · 3 months
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Being into some game series's is a constant cycle of going 'ok, ok maybe this'll be the one we'll be so back on, maybe THIS time it'll be good' and getting hit in the face w how joever it is hard enough to make your ears ring every time
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strwbrymlkshake · 1 year
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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geneticcatalyst · 1 year
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it is friday. and we must stay silly.
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pepprs · 1 year
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feeling misery and despair about going back to work btw. im trying to suppress it and i did a good job but the inevitable is inevitable
#purrs#i had like 3 massive breakdowns at the end of the week incl one on friday when i was off. and then i was like ok. i am literally weak and sh#shaking from all of that let me just pretend none of it happened. and i did!!! i pretended so well that i have felt basicslly normal all#weekend. i played a lot of video games and i even went out twice.. once to a chorus concert on campus (which is big bc being on campus ummmm#is deeply agitating to me rn ♥️) and today to home depot w my family to wander around the plants and hear the birds. i am suppressing things#and i know i am but if i don’t think about thst i feel so normal. except now it’s 11:16 on a sunday night and i have work tomorrow. and i#know most of the horrors are over but there are still so many more fucking horrors ahead. saying goodbye to people i love and anniversaries#of things happening including today being the 4 year anniversary of a certain email lol. and i can FEEL the difference. the way my stomach#is in knots bc weekends are only so long (even long ones) and i can only hold back the horrors for a little while. it’s all temporary. augh.#i literally need like a whole month off i think. idk. work stuff has fucked up my mental health beyond belief this year and it’s so sad bc t#this is my dream job but im in so much mental pain and physical exhaustion constantly and they beget themselves and by the end of the week#im miserable. but the semester is about to end. but what if it doesn’t get better bc EVERY single god damn time we talk about how it’s gonna#get better it quite literally gets worse lol 💖 i can’t im not strong enough. coming up on 5 years here and im not fucking strong enough!#but i will heal eventually i think. i just need the horrors to cease for long enough for me to catch my breath (and other redacted things ♥️
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munamania · 6 months
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something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.
#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love#what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it#why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties#of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often#so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk#and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore#i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them#. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec#but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd#but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE.#OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL.#and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness#but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart.#this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it#that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too#and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch#now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it.#because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do#something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope#and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude#this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post#ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting#all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever
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tinylittlebab · 1 year
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2/10/23
goal: 1000 / total: 821 / extra burned: 100 / net: 720 / weight: 94.5
disappointed in this. wouldve been less but i kinda blanked while eating goldfish and forgot to count them out bc i was too busy sorting them. oops. well its not that bad. i didnt end up getting to do my usual stuff so the day was very hard. i had planned to wait to eat till later or not at all but around 8pm i started feeling very ill and shakey so i decided to eat. unfortunate but whatever.
mad at myself for being hungry this morning since i had over 800 yesterday. my body is so pathetic. i fed it so much yesterday but even still.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#today i am experiencing a very weird form of stress. one i have not felt since being an undergrad with no self awareness#like i stood at my door for like 15min today with my forehead resting on the wall. trying to get myself to go outside#and that has not happened in a loooong time#at least i managed to get some algae transferred. i did it while feeling halfway outside my body but i did no it#its just the interview i have tomorrow. idk y i agreed to it bc this one im like 90% sure i dont wanna go to#bc one its in new jersey and i dont wanna deal with east coast driving. also its not a ivy league school but its wanky enough that i felt#like i should look up whether it was or not. and i dont think i would b well suited to that sort of environment#also when i interviewed with the guy last time i was iffy abt him as a boss bc idk he felt kinda pretensions and very hands off#but his students like the lab so idk. the project would b cool but like idk not exactly what i want#so fucking idk what im gonna say tomorrow. i dont even kno whats supposed to happen#bc its like i had to pick 3 ppl to interview with but one dropped out and im like... r they just asking generic questions..???#so im anticipating a cluster fuck but ifk at least its not in person lol. hopefully itll b ok once i start talking#its just had me borderline incapacitated for the last 2 days#aye. i want it to be next week when im. hopefully. having fun touring a school i actually wanna go to#it would b cool to b near the ocean tho. ive never lived thst near an ocean#unrelated#sorry for being so whiney. this month is just a lot rip
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bahrmp3 · 11 months
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soldier-poet-king · 2 years
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Once again my Tummy Hurts (TM) and I'm not being brave about it, except this time I'm convinced it's prolonged food poisoning or a parasite or Crohn's or ulceritis or IBS or SOMETHING REALLY BAD
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#this is so mind numbingly exhausting i don't understand how everyone else seems to just do it?#it was such a weird day#started out in a good mood but then boss scolded these two interns cause of a mistake#and like he wasn't shouting exactly but he raised his voice and said so many things like you are so careless im suffering so many losses bc#bc of you outsiders are going to think i don't have a good team and i don't have control over my team#and how we should always note things down because we're so distracted and not serious#and how before going home everyday we should report to him what work we did today#i understand that he's being reasonable (maybe? idk) but it sounded so eerily horribly like my dad i couldn't function properly for an hour#why are men so similar everywhere#why am i SO scared i could feel the disappointment radiating off him and he wasn't even mad at me and i felt like a failure#which is so embarrassing like girl stop you are a 20 year old adult woman you will not cry at your workplace because an angry man triggered#your dad issues#and upar se there was a new intern at work one year younger than me and oh my god he was so annoying#like i talked to him first bc i pitied him like what if he felt alone it was only his second day but boy literally could not stop talking😭#like ok it's kinda cool that this senior di she trusted me enough to be like you teach him this project report this when ive only been#here for 3 weeks but bhai😭 he's so annoying 😭 i have newfound respect for the di how does she handle all 7-8 of us interns i would go#crazy and shout at everyone and tell them to leave me alone 😭 but she's so patient and kind and answers dumb questions 100 times#but she's leaving this office permanently from next month bc of her ca final :( i mean very good for her she deserves better more money#better work hours better office etc. but :(( she's leaving :((#as you can see i have both dad issues and abandonment issues so fun lol
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alienaiver · 10 months
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its almost midnight and im overwhelmed by love for my friends.......... i want to hug them all. they make me brave
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gibbearish · 1 year
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vent
#had an issue a while ago where my bf was leaving his dirty clothes in piles on the floor which is fine except when the piles#are kept in the same room as the litterbox and the cat takes that as a cue to start pissing in piles of clothes#so i told him he couldnt do it anymore he said ok and then a bit later i caught the cat right as he was abt to piss in said clothes again#and when i was like 'hey i said you cant do this it can ruin your clothes if it gets left there' and he was like 'oh yeah i know but it's#my clothes so that's a risk i just decided to take' which uhhhh No????? no in so many ways?????????#but i didnt process how wack that is at the time so i just moved on and was like 'no but for real you cant do this anymore like not#a suggestion like legit This Cannot Continur Happening bc the end of this road is that the cat learns pissing in clothes piles is#ok whenever he wants' which did actually get him to stop but that was apparently enough learning time for mr carrot#we've had a few issues with it not toooo bad but its definitely been getting steadily more frequent#anyways guess whose electric blanket got pissed in today bc he left it in a pile on the floor and taught the cat its ok to piss in those#im having trouble giving a shit about it in the ways i should#like. idc that the blanket is maybe ruined#when he bought it he said it was for both of us but its just his so like idc but what i AM feeling is mad at him#cause like. i told him not to#and i shouldn't have HAD to tell him not to‚ 'the cat is pissing in my clothes so i will make it no longer possible for that to happen'#should be a no brainer i cannot imagine going 'welp i guess if it happens it happens' ITS PISS IN YOUR CLOTHES SITTING STALE FOR#WHO KNOWS HOW LONG and now we have to be hypervigilant abt Any Fabric Ever and who knows if itll escalate even further#hes already escalated from exclusively floor fabric to pissing in MY clothes that i was keeping on a table#like. the next stop is obviously couches/beds but like once they learn something its real hard to train them not to#and im just. frustrated that this is just gonna be yet another thing i have to deal with all the time when he shouldve just#Not Decided It Was Fine For The Cat To Piss In His Clothes In The First Place Hello?????!!!#but i also feel bad bc i feel like im holding a grudge about something small but i also Cant Let It Go#usually when the thing im mad abt is something insignificant its annoying for a bit then i let go but im just like !!!!!! what the fuck!!!!#idk. whatever#its his problem now idk how to get the heating psrt separate from the blanket part so i just sprayed some urine enzyme#on it and he can figure out wtf to do with in once he gets home in like two hours#and if thats too long and the smell gets baked in. oh well i guess#he hasnt been able to smell since we got covid anyways so like. its whatever i guess he can stew in a cat piss blanket if he wants#but i also cant tell if this is just a side effect of my General Irritability over the last few months and i really am mad abt nothing#ESPECIALLY because i keep saying it doesnt really directly effect me at this point then its like ok why are you so mad abt it then
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