#(okay maybe in two weeks)
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Doing this bc I’m scared to and won’t on my own
if this gets 5k notes by October 20th, I will tell my dad about my eating disorder and get help to recover + therapist
Rules:
No spamming
5 notes per person including likes
if either one of those is broken, I’m reducing the time limit, basically making it less likely to hit the goal on time
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD PLEASE STOP SPAMMING
tagging is okay
Might delete later(sorry!) because I’m scarrredddd, I don’t wanna tell my dad >:l
#Basically I’ve been trying for the past two weeks to recover on my own without having to tell anyone about it and bro I just cant#Jsbsjdhd#It will only be a temporary recovery though heads up#Because I’m not going to get away with this eating disorder for much longer#I’m going to get found out so this is just temporary until I’m an adult#Once I’m an adult I won’t have to worry about getting caught 😌#Ahhh I’ve had this disorder for like a year now I’m sick of it 😭#Okay maybe not temporary#Actually I wouldn’t mind recovering for good actually this sucks#Notes game#note game
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oh okay heres one:
"sleepaway camp"= you go there for at least a few days, a week, sometimes several weeks, and sleep there, as opposed to a """camp""" where you go for the day and your parents or whoever picks you up afterward (those arent really camps, but like. idk when i went to "space camp" it was a weeklong but not sleepaway). in the U.S. at least, the typical image of a sleepaway camp involves staying in cabins, dunno how common it is/what it looks like in other countries.
for the first few i just mean like. not necessarily a stealth church camp, just like. idk, a camp where theres also an Assumption Of Christianity and just general vibes without being actually church camp. So, there might not be daily services and jesusy dedicatwd activities, but maybe theres still a prayer said over meals and shit. Which i assume might exist...
(oh and @reblogforsamplesize if u wanna)
#buzzy#poll#polls#personally: yes i went several times#and i enjoyed it bc. camp!!! yay!!!#but the Church part of it. complicated feelings on that matter#mine were all weeklong camps#went every year for a few years i hink#it was fun bc again YAY CAMP!!! and the ones i went to were like huge things#they had cool water stuff like The Blob and waterslides and some fun games and shit#you could do paintball#and i wasnt like. NOT christian at the time. but i also Wasnt Really Feeling It#i was mostly into it bc. camp.#...maybe i should have asked my parents if i could just go to one of the normal summer camps instead lmao#like the 6 week ones or st#that coulda been fun ....#so my answer is Its Complicated#i did like. participate in the jesus side of things. but i was also kinda knowingly faking it u kno?#i remember one time during a service i started having a bit of a panic attack (mostly bc of the MASSVE crowd. this was a huge ass camp)#but i still had to like. stay. still do everything. my pastor was being nice about it but still was like :( well you cant leave#i remember that was the day we did some shit outside w torches#like. carrying torches in a big procession like some sorta ritual thing ig. fuck if i know.#and i was like crying while following the procession and trying to stop#(the crying STARTED un the megachurch extremely loud giaant speaker GET PUMPED UP!!! area and continued to the torches)#thars my stringest memory from church camp aside from when i fcking DEMOLISHED the frozen t shirt game#(they gave a few ppl on stage frozen t balled up shirts and it was like 'okay first one to unball it and put it on wins!!!')#(and while the two boys i was up against started trying to tear it open with their hands i just#(in my cute lil butterfly shirt and pretty skirt started SMASHING IT AGAINST THE GROUND FULL BODY AAAUUGGHH and broke that shit)#(i was sooo proud of mysekf and my oastors wife thiught it was Unladylike of me but i fucjing won. the boys copied me after a sec)#(but it was too late i won :) anyway yeah like i said mixed feelings u kno. anyway go blue beetles woooo!!!!!
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bun ny bunny bu nny bunny ? @wolfertinger666
#salem#original character - salem#wolfertinger666#Hi Ryeders This Is The Dawing I Said I Would Post#dropping that act AA i'm really proud of this actually#i usually will just fill bucket or default pen to colour#but this time i used a TEXTURED MARKER B) and did it manually it was awesome !!#i've wanted to draw salem art for a while now!!!#his art is rlly inspiring to me!! i've drawn more straight up furry things rather than ke/mono/mimi things because of him :]#and experimenting more with style too :D#and also he's kinda relatable :) as a fellow fat black trans man with no top surgery who came from a heavily religious background and is..#..now living with his mom that is transphobic to the point that it is almost life-threatening#it's really great to see him here despite everything ya'know?#so i can go on too :)#Well Anyways Ryeders Thank You For Reading#I Will See You Next Time I Post Something#Which May Be Soon. Like A Week Or Two Maybe#All In MsPaint Sourry..#Okay Bye Ryeders I Love You !!#bad art tw#<- art tag goes at the end this time because NO!!! This is NOT bad#so sourry if u don't like being tagged in rando fanart
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Being the captain means always being the one everyone turns to.
#trafalgar law#one piece#my art#ITS LATE SUMMER DEPRESSION HOURS LADS#WE’RE STRUGGLING OUT HERE#(to be clear we’re fine I just cried a lot today)#anyway vent art put all that pain on law make him suffer#(he’s already suffering)#(it’s okay just refer to yesterday’s hug drawing i think that one happens after this)#(…sure I only gave him the amber lead scars in one of them…)#(…maybe they only appear when he’s stressed/upset)#(work with me here)#anyway vent art works I just got a text the seminar I’m teaching was pushed back two weeks
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litany of the martyrs (click for better resolution!)
#at some point i wanted to make an illustration for each character but in retrospect maybe each is multiple song-coded..#drew the sketch for a quincy thing after a chat with a mutual reminded me this song existed dfsghjkl and then spent weeks rendering this#quincy cynthius martin#adamandi#i'm finally done with this! the saints especially were joys to paint and the halo a menace.... this has been the most ambitious one so far.#but it also took quite long because i only worked on it <engages with quincy> when mentally okay to deal with the themes. i'm not religious#but i do identify with the irrational(?ish) guilt + family legacy + academic achievement + disregard for self. also more complex thoughts#about love [but depsite quincent being a large part of quincy's character this piece deals with mostly the Rest of it. so another time..]#anyways! in the original sketch- the saints had heads bent towards quincy so the halo spikes pointed at him. but this worked better! halos#of the saints implying/creating one for quincy was a concept from the start though. in the show they don't touch him directly here but#differences in mediums i think- i don't have time in an image to craft a narrative so everything has to be happening. also artistic liberty#misc inspiration for this includes stained glass windows. i might have maybe misinterpreted the saint costume but i think i logic-ed it out#as the cloth part following a nun's habit w the hood. and then halo above. the material is also more transparent originally but i had. um.#too much fun painting fabric folds.. if you look closely you can see the basis of faces though behind the cloth; but only the vague shapes#because smth obscurity + inhumanness// cassian is the only one i gave a mouth though. that stems from melliot's post about the saints and#st cassian as spokesperson (<- did research teehee!) that's also how i found out which costume = which saint. speaking of which.#left to right: 'st lucy take my hand' // 'st lawrence give me strength' (presses quincy forward; but hand on shoulder connotates guidance)#/'st cassian help me smile' (quincy's mouth is btwn a grimace and a smile; tilts up at side. also no direct touch bc added insidiousness.)#//'st jude [...] i hope your causes burn' (jude's hand is in two places to show movement- nearing the flame and then snatching back; burnt)#other notes: at the midst of the flame the core is shaped like a human heart /the saints and their wax are all melting like the candle for#fun visual effect and also this way they are even less tangible <real>. perks of painting as a medium i guess. // also insp from icarus?#wax and burning imagery; looking at the halo and rays as parallel to sun that burns. too close to the sun; melting; hurting; hurtling //#candles at bottom are a nod to the frankly gorgeous set// also the entire composition kind of stems from the lyric <what use is a candle if#both ends aren't burning>; the two sides between the concepts of catholic guilt and academic perfection that spur quincy#the halo above (saints and guilt; litanyofthemartyrs) and the 'halo' below (academic papers; insp from choreo for perfect at school)#the papers were originally supposed to be more glowy. but i like the idea of it now being a reflection of how quincy's priorities shift#also of note is that <candle> in centre = quincy; w burning candle + aforementioned heart in flame -> most human; idea of love + passion#last thoughts: kneeling + hands close tgt = prayer //wax dripping onto the red As make an effect that looks like blood. because i like#hiding that within the adamandi pieces :OO continuity!! // i've run out of tags but yeah! had fun with this one! every so often i go a#little insane in making art and the final result astounds even me. ngl i'm quite proud of this one. pretty colours <3333
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( random conversation I thought of, not sure if it's something that I would consider canon. Might be ooc for characters)
Blue: Aaaaand that's everything that happened today! Which.... isn't a lot but whatever.
Red: ....
Blue: .....( Leans back) Sooooooooo. How's things for you? You haven't, ah, really said much since you came back down Mt. Silver...( Tries to perk up a bit,forcing a smile) You're usually such a chatter box, you know?! Gotta be something interesting for ya today, right?
Red: .....
Blue: ........( Grimaces slightly, still trying to keep smiling. His voices lowers, as if the whole world would hear if he goes any louder) Come on Red, you- throw me a bone here, something-
Red: ( his eyebrows furrow slightly) .....
Blue: ( immediately back pedals) O-only if you wanna, I don't - you don't - ( he sighs, exasperated) Green? H-have you at least talked to Green?
Red: ( he flinches at that. The punch to his face still fresh in his mind. It was a year ago. And even so-) .....
Blue: ( he should back off. He really should-) Your mom? Have you at least talked to your mom?
Red: ( that causes him to outright glare at his....friend? Rival? Babysitter? What are they now? He doesn't know. But he doesn't like this conversation.) . . . .
Blue: R-right! Right, of course you- ( he takes in a breath. Why does he feel so sweaty.) Sorry. Sorry, that was just- Let's just forget I said anything, yeah?
Red: ( his glare softens, looking at his....whatever they are to each other, with concern. He doesn't know if he'll get used to Blue Oak apologizing for anything ever. He raises his hand to sign-)
Blue: ( he raises his hand before Red does, eyes pleading) Let's just forget I said anything, okay? ( Please )
Red: ..... ( He lowers his hand. He hates the look blue is giving him. He blames himself for it, as always) ( Okay )
#so. okay.#the idea is that this is red post mt. silver. maybe like. a few weeks in?#red is struggling to readjust and blue is being. very cautious about his friend. perhaps too much#blue wants to help but doesn't know how. doesn't want to overstep. doesn't want red to run away again bc he scared him off#red doesn't know what he's doing. he's scared. he doesn't know what to think of others. green punched him a year ago#and Blue is acting weird ever since he got back down#he doesn't even know if they're rivals anymore. if they're still friends#( blue n green both have visited red on the mountain for a year before he finally came down )#( of course they're still friends. they want to be friends again. but red latches onto their rage and hurt and uses it against himself)#Red and Blue even back in their old rivarly prided themselves in being able to understand each other#no word necessary. that just got each other.#but now thar connection seems to be....lost?#they don't know how to talk to each other. too scared to do so.#so there's cases like these where Blue is trying to push but not wanting to ruin things ( more than he already has)#and Red who is beyond scared to really. have these conversations even if he hates seeing Blue like this. with him specifically.#and they both just agree to. not talk about it. ignore the pushing. for now anyway#again i'm not entirely sure if this is the direction I want for these two post mt. silver#but this conversation came to me so ( shrugs)#r rambles#legendverse#reguri#trainer red#trainer blue#rival blue#tldr of all those tags: red and blue are teens who don't exactly know how to communicate and navigate their feelings just yet
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SR Taruchi [Music Week] Voice Lines - PASTEL BXMB!
Thank you @raguiras for hosting this event!!!! Your idea is SOOO good and creative, I love all the groups and how much thought you put into it!! Tbh this is the first fan event I've officially participated in and it's all bc the concept is so fun HAHAHA ty again mionn <333
There are more voice lines + the non-pull looking card under the cut!
Summon Line: Sometimes I forget this is just a short event thing. I'm having a lot more fun than I thought! Kinda makes me wish we could keep doing this.
Groovy: Is it time for our performance? All right, I'll give it everything I've got!
Set to Home: Shall we go practice?
Home Transition 1: I look so fire, right?! These clothes look so good! Though it's a little uncomfy, since it's not my usual style and all. I just gotta get used to it.
Home Transition 2: I won't lie, I'm… not so good at dancing. And my singing is kinda mid. Agh, I gotta practice more… Thank goodness Kalim is such a good leader! He's so understanding.
Home Transition 3: *sigh* I don't know if I'm cut out for all this. It sure drains someone's energy… But no way am I gonna drag down my group! I want us to win, after all!
Home Transition/Login: Hmhmhm~ Hmm~ Oh! Uhh… You heard nothing, all right?! Don't share that melody with anyone, please! It's supposed to be our group's song for the competition!
Home Transition/Groovy: Do you think I got better after all our practices? I sure don't feel as bad as before. Maybe I could become an idol one day… Haha, just kidding. No way.
Tap Home 1: This group is so cutesy. I like it a lot, but sometimes I get worried I don't really fit… Ah, what am I talking about? Idia and Sebek are here too, and they probably fit the concept less than I do.
Tap Home 2: I can't imagine Allen handling this entire event. But have you seen him while he's with his group? He's amazing! It makes sense he's supervising basically the whole thing, ‘cause he's 100% qualified!
Tap Home 3: Too bad the group doesn't use instruments. Maybe I could've shown off my crazy piano skills. Haha, I'm kidding! My skills aren't that good, trust me.an idol one day… Haha, just kidding. No way.
Tap Home 5: Hmm, I wonder who came up with the group's name? PASTEL BXMB! does seem very fitting, but it also reminds me of bath bombs… Wait, why am I talking about this? I don't even understand bath bombs.
Tap Home 1: This group is so cutesy. I like it a lot, but sometimes I get worried I don't really fit… Ah, what am I talking about? Idia and Sebek are here too, and they probably fit the concept less than I do.
Tap Home 2: I can't imagine Allen handling this entire event. But have you seen him while he's with his group? He's amazing! It makes sense he's supervising basically the whole thing, ‘cause he's 100% qualified!
Tap Home 3: Too bad the group doesn't use instruments. Maybe I could've shown off my crazy piano skills. Haha, I'm kidding! My skills aren't that good, trust me.
Tap Home 4: Have you seen Azul anywhere? He said he wanted to meet up after our individual practices with our groups so we can— Uh, ahem, you know what? Never mind. I'll go look for him myself.
Tap Home/Groovy: Performing like this is a lot harder than I thought. You have to be conscious of everything, from your expressions to your movements to your voice. Music artists, especially idols, must've had really rigorous training to get to where they are now…
Taruchi's SR card w/o all the text stuff:
Little rambles: I was initially just gonna make her mic sparkly, I've known that since the beginning, but. Idk there's something about me and glitters that makes it spread everywhere OAKSKDJSD also when I showed this to my sister, when she saw the stickers, she literally went "CUTIE MARKS??? SHE'S A PONY???" like girl 🧍♀️
Credits: The event is Music Weeks at NRC! by @/raguiras, who also owns Allen who's mentioned in one of the voice lines. The dividers were made by @/firefly-graphics
#twisted wonderland#twst oc#twst yuu#twst fan event#ragu music weeks#i have two other wips for this. but classes are starting soon and im scared#this event gave ne crazy brainrot btw like... for an idol au and i... bro#shoutout to the homies for keeping me (in)sane during these trying times#VERY PROUD OF HOW THIS TURNED OUT. LIKE I THINK THIS IS NOT ONLY MY FIRST FAN EVENT#But ALSO the first time i actually tried to make an event card like this#the most i did was draw taru in outfits in doodles or smth#this looks so 🔥🔥🔥 thooo#maybe the spirit of oshi no ko possessed me bc i watched it recently#okay thats it for rambles bc i apparently forgot my other personal tags#☆ taruchi's drawings 🖌#☆ taruchi's writings ✍️#taruchi#idt i'll make a vignette for this 😔😔 for someone who wants to go into english my writing skills amd motivation has gone#poof. idk where it went i think its on vacation without#without me#idk why the tag finished before i wanted it too but okay dude
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Dreamling Week 2023 — Day 2: Dragons
Inspired by Flatter the Mountain Tops by @teejaystumbles and @amielot 's art for the au! (B&W version under the cut :] )
#have been itching to make fanart for this au/fic for a long time and this was the perfect opportunity hehe#two days behind dreamling week but thats okay at least im drawing again!! :D#DreamlingWeek#DreamlingWeek2023#dreamling#the sandman#hob gadling#morpheus#dream of the endless#dc#OH AND HAPPY DREAMLING DAY WHOO#rex draws#the values on this were really fighting with me but thats okay lmao ill draw them again sometime maybe#teejaystumbles#amielot#dragons#dreamling dragons AU#Dreamling Week#Dreamling Week 2023
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like a regular bin, not even recycled or anything
#poll#okay so uh#dont read the tags ahead unless you care about my little vent#my mom got me a hoodie in December from shein#even tho i had two very similar hoodies already both from better brands#still fast fashion but not as fast#and one of them was modded by me#but the hoodie was fucking soft and comfy and good length so it quickly became my favourite hoodie#according to my mother tho after a month she started complaining that it's ugly.#it had those little balls idk what they're called but#1 i don't fucking care#2 they're removable#so anyway fot the past week or two shes been complaining every time i wore the hoodie and today she screamed at me and threw it in the trash#she also kicked me but thats unrelated#and like even if she bought me a new identical one that wouldn't help at all cause she still threw my stuff in the trasg#and bought from a company that goes against my values#and she keeps excusing it like “its cheaper”#im sorry but buying one good thing and wearing it too death is cheaper than buying a hundred things you throw away after less than 3 months#so fucking sick of this!!!!!!!!#i have more than enough clothes too and am currently trying to get rid of some#BUT NOT LIKE THAT WHAT THE FUCK#btw my vinted is dupiarz it's mostly stuff from 2017-2020 so not really trendy but maybe youd like something#the pnly clothing i dont bother repairing and just throw out is underwear#but i do fix socks because good socks are good socks
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hen winning the buddie betting pool is the easy choice, but bobby winning is the right choice. hr red flags aside, it would allow for a parallel to 2x01. buck could ask, "you okay with this?" "well, i did technically hire him to be your partner. i don't have any doubts you two will be great life partners as well."
#maybe they were caught kissing behind the firetruck or they just tell the 118 halfway through a slow shift#hen was off by like a week or two#shes obviously kinda pissed#“seriously? youve been dancing around each other for 6 years and you couldnt wait just 1 more week?? your mustache ruined this edmundo.”#chim would just kinda be in surprise like#“i threw 20 bucks in just as a crapshoot because i never thought youd get your heads out of your asses.”#ravi is confused but happy because “i dont understand why you got divorced originally but im glad you found your way back to eachother.”#anyway so bobby wins and is smug as hell when he asks everyone to pay up#eddie gets a little cagey because “how long were you guys betting on this?? its kinda fucked up to speculate about someones sexuality.”#“okay maybe but we were right so...”#and another member of the 118 overhears them and is like wtf should i report this to hr but then sees its the firefam and is like#eh okay maybe not thats kinda what they do ig
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Was Celia drunk as fuck or is this something supernatural?? 👀
Who the fuck is Jack?? 👀
Alice is such a delight, I love her!
Oof so one or both of them have trauma involving grandparents then.
I love Samama & Alice so much. 💜 They have a great dynamic!
Oh shit, right, Gwen is probably still getting over Mr. Bonzo too. 👀
"I just… I dunno. When I left the coffee shop, it felt like someone was following me."
Please don't take away Alice, she's one of my faves! I hope this post doesn't age poorly. Watch me have to quote this post very soon.
OH NO, is it that [ERROR] following her??? 😰
"Don’t joke about that, mate. I was dreaming about it all day." Okay, yeah, that's a creature.
Sam & Alice are both about to run into a creature... 👀
"Classifying unspeakable horrors all night for no discernible reason?" @/entities-of-posts & @/which-entity-this-post-serves is that you? :]
Hmm, now why is this episode called "marked?" I assumed Mr. Bonzo was gonna find his mark, but maybe Alice is marked by an entity/creature that was locked in the Magnus Institute?
"giving up the ghost" okay so someone saw an apparition? Honestly not sure what entity this episode is about so far.
It's giving The Corruption ✨🧟♀️⚰️ (maybe The Buried)
"It’s just that one of the graves had a body in that was too well-preserved for the age it should have been." 👀👀👀
This thing is about to jump out of the grave & run off, isn't it? 🏃♂️
"The back was completely covered in this complicated tattoo of a ship sailing across an open sea towards an open horizon." Peter Lukas?!?!?
Oh 100% The Buried, without a shadow of a doubt.
Lots of tattoo & carvings in walls imagery in this sequel prequel sidequel, isn't there? 👀
Hey wait, that's Ink5oul from episode 2, isn't it? 👀 Ink5oul definitely feels like a conduit or vessel for The Flesh or some other kind of entity.
Okay, there's something weird going on with this place, the salt water & waves near this cemetery are kind of seemingly enticing them to come drown in it's waters. In the very least it's messing with these guys' mental states! Pretty freakkyyyy! 👀🌊
Also the repeated emphasis on dreams is interesting this episode, wonder if that'll play a part in something later on. 👀👀
"If it’s any consolation, he’s with the sea now. The deep will care for his bones." I literally called it!!
I think Gordon Alan Johnson also wants to be with David. 👀🌊🌊
I think Gordon Alan Johnson also wants to be with David. 👀🌊🌊
I don't know, Gordie, I think you did it! Unless Ink5oul is collecting tattoos like an alternate universe version of the Leitner books. Wait yeah, what if the tattoos are like conduits for the entities of this world or even the original one? 🖌
Another way to look at this is asking... Is The Deep a new entity/fear or is it a servant of a fear like The Vast? I stg there was a colossal water monster at some point in The Magnus Archives!
Okay so yeah, there's already a precedent for this. Also feels like The Lonely, The Buried, The Corruption, The Vast, & maybe even The Flesh are all involved in this one though I don't know if Flesh (Ink5oul) is working with or against the other fears at this time.
Gwen, you can tell your coworkers what's wrong, oh my fucking god. Please. Celia, you have me so invested in whatever is going on with you.
Weird unexplained noise at 17:44 too as Celia enters the office. Wonder what that's all about, maybe it'll come up later on.
"He is one of our Externals." Okay; so, there's more of them & they have their own secret hitman title too!
Mr. Bonzo when he was on TV
"And they usually like it." I bet fear creatures do like it when you scream. That makes a lot of sense actually.
Also what's that weird "boowomp" noise as they're talking or is it just the OST? 👀
Is Gwen going to be turned into something not quite human at some point? Just throwing darts at a board with that speculation, but wouldn't that be wild?
Okay; so, these little digitized noises are absolutely important!
I wonder how many times & when people have lied so far throughout this season. 👁️👁️
#someone should draw those two ( sam & alice ) in the style of that show at this rate. I have more questions every week i stg#is mr. bonzo gonna find his mark or is Alice dyer marked by [ERROR] place your bets!#okay so themes of coffins; decay; & rotting things; feels like the corruption or maybe even the buried#I stg if that weirdly aged guy is Peter Lukas somehow I'm gonna scream; it's an AU; anything can happen#Love seeing Ink5oul again; it's cool that they aren't just a one off character & are getting involved in the greater story#leitner tattoos canon??? maybe?? is this the equivalent of jurgen leitner books?? perhaps#the big water monster is giving The Vast energy; a lot of these feel like fear entities collaborating in this world#now I'm curious who the other externals are... is ink5oul one of them? They seemed to delight in reactions.#is this government organization called the magnus institute or what do they call themselves now? also who is mr bonzo after?#I wonder if the black ops guys that showed up to that charity place on hilltop were a counter organization or the government?#mine#op#tmagp liveblog#tmagp 11#tmagp spoilers#tma spoilers#tma#tmagp#the magnus archives#the magnus protocol
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First time staying at the hotel of a theme park (against my will, but that's a long story) and... it's so weird??????
Like I feel like I am not supposed to be here, how do I put it... it screams luxury but I a... childlike/childish way????
And I feel restless, like something is wrong. Uncanny.
#this vacation is weird#maybe i feel restless because it cost me too much...#little rant here because i am still bitter about this okay...#look 8 days in spain and EVERYTHING: 2 hotels/3 flights/several museums/foods and drinks/souvenirs/transportation/small useless trinkets#cost us like € 800? more or less?#like okay could have been less but that’s a darn good price counting small useless luxuries and good meals right?#i feel no regrets spending that amount of money on *that*#i was one of the people organizing it#i knew where my money went before it went there so if something was a waste of money is my fault right????#BUT THEN#i was thrown into this other small 4 day vacation here at one of the theme parks in italy#first day we arrive fourth we go 2 days at the park and the only things we DON'T pay for are breakfast and dinner#fucking €600#and I was occupied with my exams when the other person organized this trip so the moment they called me.and said#“okay already anticipated the money it's 600 per person :D”#i cried#liek i am not exaggerating i literally cried because wtf#600 euros I'd have stayed a week in france#I will never let someone else organize a vacation without my supervision ever the fuck again.#steel rambles#*cries* 1200 € for two peple and 2 and 2 days at the theme park+ 2 days of train is not fucking reasonable mate 😭
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When I reread my writing, most of the time I'm thinking, "I like this! I feel like I did good". But on occasion there are some days where I reread what I wrote and think to myself "Yikes, you call yourself a writer?"
Those times can be tough but I'm determined to kick that self-doubt to the curb each time it resurfaces. Of course there's always room for improvement but absolutely nothing that I've ever accomplished in life came as a result of listening to my self-doubt.
#i havent written anything in two weeks so maybe its a bit of nervousness setting in too#but thats okay im going to just sit down and put that all aside and enjoy it#its a rainy and cool morning where im at so its perfect for a coffee and some tapping away at my keyboard#hope you all have a great sunday! 💖#jellyrambles
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this is one of my favorite theses in the inkworld each way it plays out is so!!
elinor's dad valued his books over her and her sisters to the point she internalizes it and becomes the same kind of hermit he was, before and after the folcharts come back into her life. basta was groomed into believing he was inherently unlovable except by capricorn so he'd do anything to keep that small remaining amount of love. brianna realizes if dustfinger wasn't dead then he had to have abandoned her, so the next person to give her their full attention? she'll throw away every other relationship she has for them, the same way she was thrown away. the verbal abuse violante endured as a kid (and currently, because 19 is still a kid) influenced the kind of mother she is and she doesn't even realize until it's almost too late that she's done to jacopo what the adder did to her! and I've already talked about the physical abuse from farid's birth family influencing how he forms severely anxious relationships.
and none of these are just character padding! all of these characters influence the plot so heavily by becoming traumatized and by working through it and I don't have any idea how she pulled it off
#okay maybe elinor didnt very much#im trying to be nice to her bc i dont like her at all lmao#this is not written half as well as i want it to be but ive been dwelling on it for two weeks and i cant think of how else to say it so#meggie's like the only significant kid who does not ever once think shes worthless#mo raised a mean child but he did not raise one with low self esteem lol good for her#i tried really hard not to lean into the daddy issues thing but terrible fathers is such a good theme#inkheart#says kenna#hey uhhhh how is it 2am#was gonna point out how lol jehan also doesnt have this prob but i remembered it's lowkey on my tcor wishlist for him#which#i should post my wishlist probably do yall have any interest in seeing that#i have Theories
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[lying facedown on the floor] every day i say this is the day i’m going to reply to some ao3 comments and every day i do not do that but i promise i’m thinking about them so fondly and may one day reply but in the meanwhile i’m just sending love beams into the ether
#etc#i get overwhelmed but in a happy way and then i wait too long and then there are more#when i posted timkon fic i was like okay i never replied to comments before but maybe i can turn over a new leaf!! 🍃#leaf was turned over for like two weeks and then un-turned#i don’t think fic writers owe comment replies or anything like i never think about it if i comment and don’t get a reply#i just personally was like okay i’m GONNA 💪 …and then#anyway if you’ve ever commented on one of my fics thank you ilu
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I wanna make a silly prompt week centered around building/burning bridges to try and bring the dsmp fandom back together but I also. Just want to hit my head against a wall.
#dsmp#dsmpblr#dreblr#it would be two prompts every day#one for division and one for closure#so like. idk 'couples therapy/mutually assured destruction'#stuff like that you know?#do pairs like that every day for a week#but also. breed like a race horse#okay wait those two promps dont match#maybe like. 'couple's therapy/divorce court'#so silly with silly and semi-serious with semi-serious
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