#(paraphrased he mentions mandy)

[dizzybevvie]

[Rb for sample size pleaseeee :D]

[ncisfranchise-source]

In An American Story: Everyone’s Invited (Sept. 17, Harper Select), Wilmer Valderrama traces his roots from humble beginnings as a Venezuelan immigrant who spoke no English when his parents enrolled him in Mulholland Middle School in Van Nuys, California; to overnight superstardom as the lovable horndog Fez on That ’70s Show; to, at 44, an established Hollywood multi-hyphenate. For Valderrama, who since 2016 has played Special Agent Nick Torres on CBS’ flagship procedural NCIS, the book is a love letter to the vast possibilities of the American dream.

What it isn’t, however, is a juicy tell-all. Past relationships with stars like Demi Lovato (whose song “29” is rumored to reference their 12-year age gap) and Mandy Moore (whom Valderrama said he’d deflowered in an infamous 2006 interview with Howard Stern) are not touched upon. Nor is the fate of his That ’70s Show co-star and confidante Danny Masterson, sentenced to 30 years to life last September after being found guilty of two counts of rape. For the past four years, Valderrama has adjusted to life as a family man. He married model Amanda Pacheco in January 2020 and became a father the following year.

Valderrama took a break from his busy NCIS shooting schedule to field questions from The Hollywood Reporter about the upcoming presidential election, in which immigration is a key issue; his thoughts on Masterson’s conviction; and his lifelong dream of bringing Zorro back to the screen.

Let’s start with your work with immigrants and all the charitable things you’ve done for people that come to this country, fleeing dangerous places or simply to find a better life. And too often they arrive and are pushed down by those already higher up on the ladder. You went through that yourself. We are about to elect another president. We’ve seen examples of what both candidates will do in the White House when it comes to those issues. I’m wondering where you stand on the current election?

VALDERRAMA I appreciate the question. A lot of what this memoir was really about was to humanize the immigrant experience. I think that every time there is some kind of election, there is a paraphrasing of our culture. And I thought it was really important to just say, “Hey — this is what immigrants really look like.” Immigrants are police. Our attorneys, our nurses, our doctors, our essential workers. They have such an essential and vital contribution to this country. It’s important that as we go into these conversations, and as they become hot topics in the news, that we don’t forget the humanity. We call ourselves “the 200 percent” — because we’re 100 percent American and 100 percent Latino, too. The potential of this moment is to really come together.

You don’t mention your politics in the book. You do mention meeting Barack Obama and that being very exciting and also being disturbed by things that happened in 2016, but you never mention Donald Trump by name. I know that you’re on a popular show, NCIS, that’s watched by the entire country, blue and red, and maybe you don’t want to alienate your viewership. Because of course when it comes to Trump, you could say a lot of negative things about the way he talks about immigrants.

VALDERRAMA I mean, look, obviously, as you and I know, his words can really speak for themselves. When I joined Voto Latino 20 years ago, the goal was to wake up the interest of our Latino community. My biggest first priority was to [get Latinos to] sign up to the census and make sure that we’re counted and know how many we are here. Imagine now if everyone who was eligible to vote went out and voted. When politics become debates, we lose the humanity in the conversation. The most important part was to fire up my community to go out there and vote for their interest and what they feel their future should look like. And I’m not here to really tell anybody who to vote for. I think you and I know who I’m going to vote for, but the most important thing to me is to tell our culture that this is their election, too.

There’s a scene in the book in which you experience a very narrowly averted charter plane crash on your way back from the Super Bowl. You’re with Colin Hanks and Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson and the plane is shaking and filling with carbon monoxide. Masterson says he can’t feel his limbs. You and Kutcher share a single oxygen mask. What could you tell us about that flight and how it changed your life?

VALDERRAMA The first thing I thought about was my sisters, my mom and my dad. If I ever leave this Earth, do they have everything they need? You think about, what do you really fear in life? Death may be one, but leaving your loved ones without everything they need was the most petrifying experience. So I went on to just work my ass off. I went off to be an entrepreneur and to start many businesses and to really stay working. It’s a great testament to what this country can provide for you.

Looking at what’s happening now in Venezuela, opposition leader Edmundo Gonzales just fled to Spain to seek asylum. It’s very disheartening, and a dark reminder of what’s at stake in the next U.S. election.

VALDERRAMA I feel like every election Venezuela has, there is this one moment of fresh air where it just seems like for a second it might open up again. And it is really heartbreaking. I still have family there. People are making a couple of dollars a month. It’s horrible. They’re the largest producer of oil in the world. Venezuela should have been a Dubai. It really is heartbreaking to see a country be prisoned without its freedoms.

As one of the most visible and successful Venezuelan expats, do Venezuelans reach out to you in to help? Are they saying, “Please Wilmer — come back and save us?”

VALDERRAMA I think we, as [Venezuelan] individuals who are abroad with a platform, I think our biggest job is to amplify the reality. God, I wish I could be there. I wish I could be in the streets with the people that I grew up with. And the biggest issue here is that there’s no entry point for any of us. So much is being blocked away. I try so hard to really make sure that the world doesn’t forget what’s really happening out there. I get the messages from my fellow Venezuelan saying, “Please tell the world.” So that’s what we try to do.

I want to ask about your That ’70s Show co-star Danny Masterson, who was found guilty of rape. Ashton and Mila Kunis, also your castmates on that show, both caught backlash for writing letters of character for Danny that came out in the trial. What are your feelings about that?

VALDERRAMA Well, look — I totally understand why you have to ask the question. I definitely get it. But, respectfully, I like to use this time to really talk about the book that I’m really excited about. And that I worked so hard on for people to read. I mean, really the book is about my family and my immigrant story, and my parents sacrifice.

Did Scientology ever court you?

VALDERRAMA Again, my focus is to talk about my parents and my sacrifice. I don’t have anything to add to that.

In terms of your personal life, you had a lot of high-visibility relationships with other stars, and I noticed you didn’t talk about them in the book. Is there a reason you didn’t?

VALDERRAMA I didn’t set out to actually make a memoir. My book was supposed to be a book about service. I traveled with the USO for so many years since in my mid-20s. It really is just a thank you to America for giving me a future that probably I could have never gotten in my own country.

I saw headlines with season 22 of NCIS coming up, that you teased something that made fans worried. So what did you tease exactly, and what are they worried about?

VALDERRAMA I think they always worry. The fans are so passionate about NCIS. I would say this: That in season 22, the contribution these writers have done to the show is just invaluable. We’re playing a lot more with personal journeys for our characters. This season will be a little bit more humorous, definitely a lot more emotionally driven for our lead characters, and perhaps — perhaps — they’re going to be in major danger.

So you’re not going anywhere.

VALDERRAMA Yeah, no. I’m OK. I’m in the season.

Finally, there’s a passage in the book where you discuss a business lunch with Disney Entertainment co-chairman Dana Walden, where you convince her to have Disney re-acquire the rights to Zorro as a starring vehicle for you.

VALDERRAMA In the early ’60s, there was a rights dispute between ABC and Walt Disney [which were separate companies at the time]. The rights ended up going back to the original owners of the Zorro books. When I had a conversation with Disney, they were incredibly empowering. And after 60 years, we were successfully able to bring the rights back to Walt Disney and start developing a new legacy for the characters. And now it’s spinning in development.

I do love Zorro, I must say.

VALDERRAMA Me too. Zorro was the direct inspiration for Bob Kane to create Batman. Bruce Wayne was leaving the movie theater with his parents when they were murdered — and the movie they had just seen was The Mask of Zorro.

We need the gritty, Christopher Nolan version of Zorro.

VALDERRAMA That would be so cool. But [TV’s Zorro] Guy Williams had this effortless lightness, so we’re going to try to make sure that that humor is still there, too.

[halfbloodlycan]

So You Want to be a Vampire (2)

Ch1

Ch2: The Girl

The shadows called to me when I reached the top of the stairs. It was odd hearing my name down the long hallway. The door opened with no effort, as though it was just waiting. It was dark, the windows covered with paper or boards. My friends trailed behind me with light footsteps. Floorboards and tiles creaked, and I could barely make out the shapes of classroom doors, and tables and desks haphazardly strewn throughout the hall.

I didn’t expect the rumors, legends, to creep up on me. Sure, I’d heard about it. Every student had heard the stories, but no one thought it was more than a dumb urban legend made up as a prank by some senior. I didn’t recognize the boy in front of me as he appeared. He was silent as a shadow. His short black hair and dark green eyes made me think, Harry Potter. He smiled nervously, never showing his teeth.

“Watcha doing up here?” He asked casually.

“Uh, yes, hi, I could say the same to you?” I couldn’t help retorting.

“You should go,” The cryptic dark-haired student stood still as a statue as I waited for elaboration. “Leave now. You are in danger here!” He added, a hiss in his voice.

There was no reason for me to believe anything at this point. After all, a strange student who was probably just a smoker, or doing some other shady bullshit up on the “forbidden fourth floor”, wasn’t gonna tell me to leave and not give me a real reason why.

Alex and Sandra didn’t seem to care. Their explorative sides popped up almost as soon as they reached the top of the stairs. I was surprised to see a group of other students, more of our friends, were now with them. Jazz? Silas? Jackie? What the hell were they doing up here? Why the hell were they still in the school?

It was as though Jackie read her mind. “Yo, we were locked in, same as you guys. Alex caught us wandering around downstairs. Said you were going up here for some reason.” Jackie glanced at Jazz and Silas, “We didn’t want you to do anything stupid.”

Sure, whatever, I thought.

I turned back to the mystery guy, but he was gone.

I turned back to the group, but now it was only Jackie and Alex.

“You look spooked,” Alex said.

How could I not be with all the disappearing people, the strange noises, the dumb rumors. But now it was more than just that. There was an echo in the back of my head, or maybe someone whispering in my ear, to go to the room at the far end of the hall. A faint glow was there. Light. The shadow of a figure that shouldn’t have been visible.

My mind wandered to images of an ax murderer. Flashes from a movie I’d watched recently and subsequently fallen asleep to during the “exciting bits”.  I wasn’t sure where everyone else had gone, but Jackie and Alex followed me anyway.

Meanwhile, in the next hallway over, Silas, Jazz, and Sandra roamed and explored the rooms. Sandra kept a reluctant distance behind them, noticing the coffin first. It was covered in a variety of mystical and creepy looking curios.

And back in the room with Alex, Jackie and I, the boy stood backlit by a strange glow that looked like something out of a badly lit old movie.

“Shawn, a student who went to the school twelve years ago,” He summarized. “And the girl with me is Mandy. It took me months to learn the truth, and by then it was too late.”

I stared and wondered if I’d missed something. Had I tuned out some of his speech? Had he just paraphrased events I knew nothing about? I mean, I felt like I needed a little more exposition. So I bluntly asked him, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

He rephrased, and maybe I listened just long enough to get the gist of what he believed was happening. He was a vampire or something. Bitten by some girl twelve years ago and ever since they’d been wandering around on the fourth floor sucking on rats I imagined since no students had been reported missing in at least a decade.

“Teachers,” he corrected. “We’ve lived off some of the less popular teachers. Did you ever notice a high turnover rate?”

“No,” because there wasn’t a high turnover rate. I was beginning to think I was hallucinating. “Okay,” I conceded. “We’re leaving. Goodbye!” I didn’t want to play this game anymore.

Alex, Jackie, and I went to look for the others.

And meanwhile…

Silas, Jazz, and Sandra were getting ready to leave. Nervousness was abound as shadows moved more unnaturally and visibly then they should have in the dark. Jazz had casually mentioned more than once and no less than nervously, that “it wasn’t like there was a freaky ax murderer or something.”

“It’s just a room on a floor that we’re not supposed to be on,” Jazz continued. Sometimes talking calmed her nerves.

There was a figure in the doorway, and Jazz screamed and shoved themself past. The figure descended on the others, backing them up against the wall until a burst of laughter came from beneath the hood.

Sandra pulled the hood off the figure and got a peek at Alex’s red face.

“I can’t believe that worked. You should’ve seen your faces,” Alex could hardly speak.

Another figure strode up to them. They were covered in the same dark robe from head to toe. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” The voice spoke with an allure that gave me chills. I thought it was the young man from earlier, the one claiming vampirism and blood feasting. The figure let me near--let me take off the hood. Her smile showed gleaming fangs poking out against her bottom lip.

Dark brown hair fell past her shoulders, and her eyes were blue like the ocean. Cold, and deep. “Who unlocked the gate?” She asked innocently.

“There was no gate. We just pushed it open.” I replied.

The girl frowned, “That cannot be true. I haven’t been able to leave for years. Perhaps you?” She tilted her head at me. I couldn’t help but stare into those deep, blue eyes. I sank like a rock in the ocean at her feet. She pulled my chin upward. “I can let you go, as a human.” She said. “Normally, I’d feed on a few, and turn the rest, but I’ll let you pick one friend to take with you. Choose wisely,” She grinned, her fangs poking out just enough to look menacing.

[sometimesrosy]

There's only one short clip from Patti as Evita on yt and I swear to god, I feel in love in a heartbeat. Madonna plays the motherly and vulnerable part of Evita, and that's fine I guess, but Patti is RUTHLESS! She gives you the social climber cunning Eva people love and hate, damn it, patti lupone should be required to play evita always. Til the end of days.

Patti is FIERCE. She’s like fire. A force of nature. Spellbinding.

I could only find the Tony performance, but yeah she was amazing, as was Mandy Patinkin. Madonna’s version is surprisingly gentle. And, I mean, i grew up with boytoy/material girl madonna. And she plays a sweet Evita. It’s interesting. 

And I think recently, someone mentioned that Dtrump should come see her play and she was like, no he shouldn’t. if he’s in the audience I will not perform for him. No. 

and they were like? why?

and she was like, Because Fuck Donald Trump. 

This is paraphrased, but not far off from what she said. 

PATTI LUPONE IS A GODDESS. And the voice. omg. The power. 

[firstdraftpod]

Courtenay Hameister Asks: What is Objective Truth, Anyway?

First Draft Episode #227: Courtenay Hameister

Courtenay Hameister, debut author of memoir Okay Fine Whatever: The Year I Went From Being Afraid of Everything to Only Being Afraid of Most Things, and former host, co-producer and head writer of Live Wire Radio.

Links and Topics Mentioned In This Episode

Books by Beverly Cleary (author of Ramona Quimby, Age 8, Beezus and Ramona, and The Mouse and the Motorcycle) and and Judy Blume (author of Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret, Forever, and Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing) and The Crystal Cave series by Mary Stewart were some of Courtenay’s favorites growing up

Create More, Fear Less is an organization in Portland Courtenay volunteers with that works with anxious kids

While Courtenay went to New York University, she had the chance to work with legendary comedy group The State. The State — made up of Kevin Allison, Michael Ian Black, Robert Ben Garant, Todd Holoubek, Michael Patrick Jann, Kerri Kenney-Silver, Thomas Lennon, Joe Lo Truglio, Ken Marino, Michael Showalter, and David Wain — was formed in 1998 and had a self-titled comedy sketch show on MTV from 1992-1995. You can learn more about the history of the group in The Union of the State by Corey Stulce.

Members of The State went on to create Reno 911, which is coming back!

“The 7,000 Dollar Pyramid,” is one of The State’s sketches that Courtenay remembers Robert Ben Garant writing

Writing Movies For Fun and Profit: How We Made a Billion Dollars at the Box Office, and You Can, Too! by former State members and co-writers Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant

The Joan Didion quote Courtenay paraphrases is, “I don't know what I think until I write it down.”

Some of Courtenay’s favorite guests from her many years of hosting Live Wire include: comedian, storyteller, director and actor Mike Birbiglia, who is best known for Sleepwalk With Me, which was also a comedy special and a New York Times bestselling book, Sleepwalk with Me and Other Painfully True Stories, and his new comedy special, The New One is also going to be a book, coming out in May 20202, The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad; Carrie Brownstein, guitarist with Sleater-Kinney (who have a new CD in 2019, The Center Won’t Hold), co-creator and writer of TV show Portlandia, and author of memoir Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl; director Todd Haynes (who has directed Velvet Goldmine, Far From Heaven, and this year’s Dark Waters; Cheryl Strayed, author of Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life From Dear Sugar and memoir Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail; and David Rakoff, humorist and author of Fraud: Essays, Don't Get Too Comfortable: The Indignities of Coach Class, The Torments of Low Thread Count, The Never- Ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems

Courtenay’s friend Daniel H. Wilson wrote Robopocalypse: A Novel (which was optioned by Steven Spielberg, but after some delays has now been thrown over to Michael Bay) was the one who introduced Courtenay to his agent, Laurie Fox, who is an author in her own right, of The Lost Girls: A Novel and My Sister From the Black Lagoon: A Novel of My Life.

Jean Garnett at Little, Brown was Courtenay’s editor

Courtenay super recommends Sleepwalking with Einstein by Joshua Foer (and, oh my god, would you look at that, he also has a TED talk!)

The Oprah and James Frey controversy which exploded over his memoir, A Million Little Pieces, is an inevitable reference point for a conversation about what “truth” means in the memoir category

Courtenay’s recommendation for David Carr’s memoir, Night of the Gun: A Reporter Investigates the Darkest Story of His Life. His Own, was so persuasive that I bought the audiobook that night!

I admit to being a complete comedy nerd, and having recently mightily enjoyed John Hodgman’s collection of personal essays, Medallion Status: True Stories From Secret Rooms.

Jennifer Pastiloff (author of On Being Human: A Memoir of Waking Up, Living Real, and Listening Hard) and Lidia Yuknavitch (author of memoir The Chronology of Water and Verge: Stories, out Feb. 4, 2020!) teach a class called “Writing and the Body” that incorporates yoga and writing to enrich personal stories.

Humor writer Steve Almond, author of Bad Stories: What Just Happened to Our Country? and William Stoner and the Battle For the Inner Life: Bookmarked.

Writers Samantha Irby (author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life: Essays, Meaty: Essays and omg she has a new one coming out this year, Wow, No Thank You!) and Jenny Lawson, aka The Blogess (author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir and Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things), were bloggers before they had books, and they indicate the kind of conversational writing style that Courtenay tends to naturally align with in her writing

Elizabeth Gilbert’s 2009 TED Talk, “Your Elusive Creative Genius”

Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier Revised Edition: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works--A True Story, and Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics: A 10% Happier How-to Book

Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking and her TED talk on the subject of introverts

Courtenay admires Michael Ian Black’s evolution as a writer. Especially significant to her was his honesty in the memoir Navel Gazing: True Stories of Bodies, Mostly Mine (But Also My Mom’s, Which I Know Sounds Weird). His newest book, A Better Man, tackles toxic masculinity in the form of letters to his son as he goes off to college.

I have always dreamt of being able to link to an article about Jeff Bezos’s dick pics (just kidding but here we go): this incident was wild - The National Enquirer allegedly tried to blackmail Jeff Bezos, threatening to release intimate pictures of him unless he paid up. Instead, Bezos released the pics himself and told them to screw off. It was wild. It was great.

That incident calls to mind So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson

“To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” the Modern Love essay by Mandy Len Catron, references Dr. Arthur Aron’s study, which included 36 questions to generate intimacy. (And hey, look at that, Mandy has TED talks about love stories, too!)

I want to hear from you!

Have a question about writing or creativity for Sarah Enni or her guests to answer? To leave a voicemail, call (818) 533-1998.

Subscribe To First Draft with Sarah Enni

Every Tuesday, I speak to storytellers like Veronica Roth, author of Divergent; Linda Holmes, author and host of NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast; Jonny Sun, internet superstar, illustrator of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Gmorning, Gnight! and author and illustrator of Everyone’s an Aliebn When Ur a Aliebn Too;  Michael Dante  DiMartino, co-creator of Avatar: The Last Airbender; John August, screenwriter of Big Fish, Charlie’s Angels, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; or Rhett Miller, musician and frontman for The Old 97s. Together, we take deep dives on their careers and creative works.

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