#(roxys also dirk and hals cousin)

[cringefail-clown]

ive decided to polish out the coffeshop college au from this post so heres the lineup of the crew from Colors and Mayhem: Cafe and Pub lmfao

so in this au hal's a biomedical engineering major in the area of neural engineering, working part time in a cafe&pub combo owned by callie and cal - fraternal twins who cannot stand each other but made a co-owned business bc theyd not survive on their own in this economy (they couldnt agree if they wanted a calm little coffee spot for studying and meeting friends (callies idea) or an older university partygoers hot spot (cal) so they combined the two into the unhinged mess that it is)

besides hal, theres: equius, engineering student who breaks shit all the time but theyre understaffed as it is so no one fired him yet; damara, a psychology major with the goal of becoming sexologist and gamzee. nobody knows what gamzees doing here

basically its pure chaos all the time

[skounch]

I would love to hear about your AU :D

If you're struggling for a place to start talking then maybe you could tell us about everyone's covens/tracks? Do any of the do multitrack? Do they all go to the same school?

im like super sleepy and super lacking sleep so heres some ramble that may or may not make any sense!

John is illusion magic! him and jane are either cousins or siblings they're the bunny clan so their palismans are bunny themed! WOO

Jane is in the healing track! she bakes her spell into her sweets fun!

Dave and Dirk are the bird clan! Birb palismans wooooo

Dave is a bard cuz omg he would rap his ass out of any trouble he gets into. Him and john gets into trouble often yaayy

Dirk is in abominatioooonnn and bard. He makes clone of himseeeelf. Him and Jake accidentally made a sentient one cuz of course haha (thats hal btw). Their friends meme on them about it.

Roxy and Rose are the cat ppl woooo. Cat palismans.

Rose is oracle cuz yes. its rose. But she try out other things for funzy

Roxy is illusion and potion. She got into potion only to try to make magic booze. she gets in trouble for it haha

Jade and Jakeeeee doggiess. Bork Bork Bark Bark palisman

Jade main track is plant. but i can also see her trying everything.

Jake is wild magic boiiiiiiiiiii. hes not super great at everything but he knows a loooott.

Everyone but Jane get detention often. yaaaaayyy

[miss-atena]

I've been itching to talk about my humanstuck au for a while, but no one i know is really that into homestuck to remotely be interested. But now that my 2 homestuck posts seemed to go fairly well (to the number of people i have following me n all that jazz, i think i can info dump a bit lmao

So without further ado, let me present you all with

My Humanstuck AU, made by a nerd, shipper and simp

First and foremost, all canonical trolls we know of (excluding the 2 canon fantrolls) are in this AU. Yes this includes hiveswap, but it excludes the epilogues and Homestuck^2 since those are "beyond canon"

This is also true for the humans. All canonical humans are here, including Joey and Jude. And in this AU we don't have John, I am a June Egbert supporter and appreciator.

Hiveswap characters are not the focus in here, so they are more so background characters that we see on occasion on the city.

Talking bout it, everyone lives in a big city which i'm in between calling Alternia or naming it Lemopolis as an homage to the city i grew up, but making it american like.

All the originally troll characters bloods are coherent to a social class, and that is a topic that is discussed and treated with respect. Other important and somewhat heavy themes are also acknowledged and talked between characters, such as abusive relationships, toxic friendships, addiction, violence, racism, mysoginy, lgbtphobia, ableism, mental health and others more. Have in mind most of these topics I have dealt or seen close people deal with, so this comes from research, talking with people who had those issues or my own experiences.

I, right in the beginning, made some decisions on the families, mostly of the humans and the Vantas, Maryams and Leijons. So let's enter this topic for a bit.

While I know the genealogic families of the humans in homestuck are messed up due to ectobiology and the multiple universes and timelines, I didn't want to make them confusing, so i separated them in the normal families we see EXCEPT for the stridelondes, as i made them one big family. The families we have are The Crocker-Egbert family, which everyone has this as their surname, and it consists of Poppop Crocker, Nanna Egbert, Dad Crocker-Egbert and his two children, Jane and June Crocker-Egbert.

The Harley-English family, which consists of Grandma English, Grandpa Harley, their two children (a man and a woman), and these childrens child, from which the woman had Jade Harley and the man had Jake English, which makes Jade and Jake cousins.

The Strider-Lalonde family is a big one, so bear with me. We have Derek Strider (on Homestuck, dave's bro) who has a on and off relationship with Roxanne Lalonde (Rose's mom on canon). These two had 5 children, Dirk and Hal (twins), Roxy, Rose and Dave. Derek also had other two children, Crowley (davesprite) and Veppie (davepeta), while Roxanne had another daughtar name Jasperie (Jasprose). AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF Roxanne has a sister named Rosalyn and Derek has a brother named David.

Finally the last of the complicated relationships on families are from the Vantas, the Leijons and the Maryams. On canon, Dolorosa is the mother figure and the guardian for Signless, but in this au that is not the case, they are just besties and she is the mom friend. But i still kept the Disciple and Signless relationship.

Mr Vantas had with his ex wife (who is dead), Karkat and Kankri. While the Mrs. Leijon had two daughters with a boyfriend she had, who left her when she was pregnant of Nepeta and Meulin was 6. When Nepeta and Karkat were 18, their parents ended up marrying each other, and at this point Nepeta didn't have a crush on Karkat, she was more obsessed with matchmaking him with people. It was weird on the first couple of months, but soon everyone was cool with living together, and though Karkat and Kankri still have just their dad's last name, and the Leijons have only her mother's last name, they agree on being Vantas-Leijon.

And imma leave at this for now, this is the first of some info dumps imma do. Hope whoever read all of this finds it fun, it sure was fun to write.

[strititty]

it’s stridercest week yall!!! for day one (firsts) i’m posting a lil prequel ficlet for my transfem davecest fic. it’s slightly less fluffy, slightly more addressing the ‘what’s the deal with bro (spoilers: he still ain’t good) and why does dave live with D’, and i’ll probably make a much bigger more polished fic of it at some point but you know. for now! here you go.

==>

The first night after your uncle snatches you up is a whirlwind of too many feelings for one human being to deal with. Like, you’re ice cold, aight, you’re absolutely frigid, but a guy gets whisked away somewhere like this? Shoved into a bedroom that doesn’t belong to you, listening to half a conversation on the other side of the door? It’s sudden, not like Cal to the face or a fresh set of bruises--sudden like a shock to the system, dunked in freezing water with no way out.

“What else was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just leave him there.”

You sit with your back against the door, listening to his voice echo up the hall while you stare down at your arm. The cast is red underneath the masterpiece of black sharpie scribbles featuring characters you co-opted from the uncle currently trying to keep a private conversation. Bro used to be so good about not leaving marks. Just enough hurt to drive home the point and not an inch more. 

There’s a nervous, slightly unhinged laugh. “Could have sent him to Roxanne. She’s the one who noticed, and she’s got his sister. They’re fuckin’ twins, Rose, they should be together. Hell, they’re named after us. Totally inseparable.”

The idea of facing Rose - your Rose, not the aunt you were only loosely aware you had - makes your blood boil. Anger? Embarrassment? Shame?

“No, I know she’s got a problem--Christ, woman, give me a break. Of course I want to keep him. He’s my nephew.”

She ratted you out. 

“I just don’t wanna fuck him up more than he already is, alright? I’m doing bad enough with Hal and Dirk and work. Might as well slap a sign on my forehead that says not suitable for children or some shit. Hide your kids, hide your wife.” 

You kind of wanted her to.

Your uncle’s quiet for a long time, except for little sounds of acknowledgement. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Softer, softer still, winding down until you can’t hear him at all and you’re only looking at your ragged nails.

The call must end, or maybe you fall asleep, or maybe you lose time - which is fucking weird, because you can guess time down to the minute - but you jolt up at the sound of a tap-tap-tap just behind you.

That’s what people call knocking, huh. 

“Dave?” asks your uncle, and you hop to your feet right quick.

“Yo, whaddup,” you say, cool as you please. 

He cracks open the door and it’s a little like looking yourself in the face, if you were also twenty years older and dressed in a rumpled suit with no shoes. This is the least put together you’ve ever seen him, not that that’s saying much, because you’d met him maybe once when you were five or six. Him and Bro had what you in the business call a ripsnorting blowout of a cage match and Bro got his nose broken.

It’s the first and only time you saw him bleed, and you don’t even remember what it was about. You, probably, or maybe money. Kids and money are where it’s at in the world of conflict.

“Gonna order some food--whatcha want? There’s this good Chinese place that’ll deliver past the paps, or about a hundred pizza joints, or Dirk’s favorite sushi place, or Hal’s favorite sushi place, which are two different places, for the record, cuz those two won’t agree on anything. Have to order from both on sushi nights just to keep them from tearing each other’s throats out.”

“Holy shit, Cain instinct,” you say. 

Your uncle snorts. “Yeah, they got it bad. You’ll see when they get back from Rose’s--uh, y’know. Roxy’s place. Your aunt Rose, your cousin Roxy. Pretty insane that I got you when they weren’t here. They’re gonna be all over you when they show up, sorry in advance.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m used to being covered in bitches,” you say, and your uncle snorts. There’s some force behind it that makes you feel warm with his approval, if in fact this is approval. The smile he flashes suggests that it might be.

“I should scold you for that, but I ain’t gonna. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

[lolliepops-rox]

Homestuck Cyberpunk 2020 AU Cyberstuck

Base Plot

We have the family gang Derse, and the Arcology Prospite

Derse is a family gang is lead By 4 adults know as Bro (beta!dirk) Mom (beta!roxy)  DS (alpha!Dave) and Sis (alpha!Rose). The adults of Derse want nothing more to take down the Betty Crocker Crop that plague their part of the city. They kidnapped a 7 year old meenah n 4 year old Feferi to raise them away from the Batter witch. They weren't able to get Jane. 

The Batter Witch builds the Prospit arcology to safely raise Jane. She sent Nana, Poppop, Grandpa, Grandma, Dad n Pa all to look after Jane and the arcology. The batterwitch isn't aware that the Prospit adults helped the Derse adults in Fef's n Meenahs's kidnapping, n continue to help them.

How each kid ended up in the Gang or Arcology below. Gonna make a post in future abt peoples skills/class + cyberware.

Prospit Arcology

Grandpa, Grandma, Poppop, Nana, Dad, Pa, Karkat, Terezi, Gamzee, Tavros, Vriska, Kanaya, Jane, Jade, June, Jake, Calliope, Kankri, Latula, Kurloz, Ruffio, Aranea, Porrim, Bec (aka jadesprite), Tavris, Cattav(ros), Jude, Joey

Gamzee and Kurloz are kids of the Hella rich n powerful church leader GHB. Kankri and Karkat the the children of The Signless, who staged a rebellion against Crocker Crop, alongside the Disciple and the Ψiioniic. When Fefeta was just a few months old, the Signless was killed by Darkleer at HIC’s command. The Vantaes were taken in by Dolorosa, and were raised alongside Kanaya and Porrim. Karkat befriended Gamzee n hanged around clown church alot, Kankri liked tagging along sometimes. Gamzee also meets Tavros n they are best buddies. Tavros lives with his older brother Ruffio, younger siblings Cattav and Tavris. They are poor as heck but live near the Church, so they get help from the church sometimes when they need food.

One day the GHB decided to send Gamzee and Kurloz to the Prospit Aceology, as it's part of a deal he's struck with HIC. GHB is to use the influence of the church to get more soldiers/workers for HIC. Gamzee refuses to go if he can't bring his best bros Karkat and Travos. Tav n KK refuse to go if they can't bring their siblings. So that's how the Makaras, Vantases and Maryams end up living at the Prospit Arcology.

Vriska n Aranea are the kids of a high profile pirate, Mindfang. The HIC enlisted the help of Mindfang and her fleet of ships into helping with her take over, and hunting down Derse. Along with a FUCK tone of treasure, Mindfang got HIC to put Vriska and Aranea in the Prospit Arcology. Aranea doesn't mind and in fact prefers it to living on the ship, thou she disagrees with Mindfang helping HIC. However Vriska LOVED living on the ship and being a pirate. Mindfang doing this gives her a shit tone of abandonment issues. She resents Mindfang but also still wants her attention n approval so she still does the whole 'rp as Mindfang shit'. 

Terezi n Lutula are the children of HIC's personal lawyer so it was easy for them to get a place in the Arcology.

Prospit Human Family

You have Grandpa Harley (beta!Jake) and His Sister Grandma English (alpha!Jade). Then you have Nana Egbert (beta!Jane) and her brother Poppop Crocker (alpha!John). Poppop and Nana grew up under HIC, groomed to assist in running Crocker Crop. Grandpa and Grandma were taken in by Lord English, who has a major stake in Crocker Crop and is known for telling HIC what to do.

Pa (Dad Crocker) is the child of Poppop. Jane is Pa's Daughter and Poppop's Grandchild, and is regarded as the great-grandaughter of the HIC. Dad (Dad Egbert) is the child of Nana. June is the child of Dad. Dad n Mom are dating. June and Jane are second cousins.

Jade and Bec are twins and are the grandchildren of Grandpa. Grandpa also had children with A. Claire, Joey and Jude. A. Clair was killed by HIC. Jake is the grandson of Grandma. 

Jake is second cousin once removed of Jade and Bec. Joey n Jude are technically Jade and Bec's aunt and uncle. Jake is Joey n Jude's second cousin.

Cherubs

Caliborn and Calliope are twins and the children of Lord English.  Caliborn ran away cos he hates Lord English, and wants to kill him to take his place. Calliope was then placed in the Prospit Arcology. Caliborn is known for hanging around the Derse gang, as the Derse adults are willing to help him kill LE, ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’ situation. But they don’t trust Cal to not be corrupt too if he gains power, but cos he’s a kid they won’t kill him yet, they wanna give him a chance. 

Derse Gang

Bro, DS, Mom, SisRoxy, Rose, Dave, Dirk + Hal, Dove (aka davesprite), Davepeta, Jasperose, Caliborn, Equius, Feferi, Aradia, Sollux, Nepeta, Eridan, Horuss, Meenah, Damara, Mituna, Meulin, Cronus, Fefeta, Erisol, Arquius

Bro and DS are brothers. Sis and Mom are sisters. Dirk, Dave, Dove, Davepeta, Roxy, Rose, Jasperose were all adopted off the street separately. Who they were before is unknown and were all basically found as babies. Their birthdays are more the days they were found than their actual birthdays.

Meulin, Nepeta, Fefeta were left behind by their mum when she had to flee, after the Signless was murdered by Darkleer. When Darkleer was asked to kill The Disciple, he couldn’t. He let her escape and took in the three Leijon children. When HIC got word of Darkleer’s betrayal, she sent the GHB to kill him. This left Meulin, Nepeta, Fefeta, along with Horuss, Equius and Arquius homeless. But the Derse Adults found them and took them in.

Aradia and Damara are the Children of LE’s handmaid, which the Derse took in to protect them.

Sollux and Mituna are the last group of kids made homeless by the Signless’s death, and were taken in by the Derse Gang.

Eridan and Cronus are the kids of Dualscar, HIC’s head assassin. When Eridan learns of Feferi’s kidnapping, he convinces Cronus to help him track her down. The two run away in search of Fef and Meenah. Dualscar figures they’ve been kidnapped as well, and when he receives no ransom, assumes they are dead. Eridan n Cronus eventually stumble apon Derse, and stay there

Birth years 

1992 -  Meulin 4th August, Porrim 31st August, Latula 17th Oct, Aranea 10th Nov, Jake Dec 2nd, Dirk Dec 3rd, Roxy Dec 4th, Horuss 12th Dec

1993 - Kurloz 15th Jan, Cronus 16th Feb, Meenah 14th March, Damara 2nd April, Jane 14th April, Ruffio 27th April, Mituna 22nd May, Kankri 12th June

1995 - Nepeta 4th August, Kanaya 31st August, Terezi 17th Oct, Vriska 10th Nov, Jade and Bec Dec 2nd, Dave Dec 3rd, Rose Dec 4th, Equius 12th Dec

1996 - Gamzee 15th Jan, Eridan 16th Feb, Feferi 14th March, Aradia 2nd April, Dove 3rd April, June 14th April, Tavros 27th April, Sollux 22nd May, Karkat 12th June

1997 - Calliope and Caliborn 11th Nov

1998 - Tavris 18th April, Erisol 28th Nov, Fefeta 30th Nov, Arquius 26th Dec

2001 - Jasperose 27th May, Cattav 7th June, Davepeta 19th July

[eldritchtheorist]

❗ What are your thoughts on your family?

I suppose that depends on who.

Roxy, Dave, and Dirk are all the closest I will ever have to a family as I have since disowned my own mother.

Roxy hides the fact they are brilliant too often and I feel they should let their brilliance shine more often instead of playing up the role of court jester.

Similarly, Dave has his own faults, but even he has his moments and I find myself proud of him more often than not these days.

Dirk is an enigma I have yet to figure out, and in such a case, I suppose in a similar way, the same goes to Hal. Who I do infact also consider family - after all, what family doesn't have their cousin Clippy?

I do not wish to talk about my mother however

[bloodthirstyonmain]

alright time for a more put together version of my stranger things au bc i just finished stranger things 2 and i dont know how to process things without homestuck and mental illness as my lenses

so first of fucking all jade and dave get a parallel to nancy and jonathan no matter what because... i mean come on how could i not. they will probably not fuck, but, i mean, its open to interpretation? but yeah i have an intense need to see jade and dave in eighties clothes buy gasoline and bear traps. how was that even legal how did my mom survive what the fuck. an eightteen year old just walks in “gimme some bullets” doesnt even show his id i mean, what the fuck.

anyways. callie is still eleven and lives in roxys basement, but rox doesnt have siblings like mike does because im a lazy son of a mostly okay person who may or may not be qualified to raise a child. jake is a dustin parallel because none of you fuckers can tell me he would see a weird tadpole and immediately say “okay well youre my kid i guess, welcome to the family, dont eat our pets” (and i kind of want to see jade cuss jake out for letting a monster eat her dog). im seein jane as lucas here, skeptical and all that but tryin to help. dirk is will because, like i said in that one ask, hes too competent to be in the party full-time. john gets to be a very confused steve because... do i even need to explain??

now for something i never thought id say: rose is a bit of a problem here. i kinda want her to be kali- i mean, i really do- but i also. really love her. so maybe rose and all the other masked kids get a longer arc? so lets pencil her in for that. the rest of the gang will probably be trolls and caliborn, because i dont want to write him out, but i dont want to... acknowledge his existence.

pretty much all the adults are a big question mark because there is not a single properly functioning adult in all of homestuck except for dad crockerbert. i am thinkin the strider house might just be like, ykno, dirk and his robot brother hal and dave and daves weird cousin and also daves weird cousins adopted sibling and sometimes rose crashes there but its not a big deal. because the idea of ten daves runnig around taping shit to walls and stringing up lights while a robotic twelve year old insults his brother is so fucking funny to me.

also terezi is one of the street kids and where callie picks up the term “bitchin” because... fucking iconic. this is the gay agenda.

[sheriffkit]

okay but

an alpha kid youtuber au

the alpha kids have a channel on youtube and they all have their thing on it so its inclusive for a bunch of audiences.

Jane is the baking part of it, whether it be tutorials, food reviews, ect. She also has a pranking series where her and her cousin John go around pranking everyone. They even sometimes do the thing where people stay the night at stores or movie theatres. She has another series that’s been running since the beginning of the channel, it’s where she talks about conspiracy theories and dresses up like a detective. It’s one of their most popular series. Dirk has been in a few videos, whether it’s him shes making a theory against or he’s just starring in the actual video itself.

Roxy is the beauty guru part of the channel. She’s like simply nailogical in the way where people mightnot actually like watching make up videos, but it’s so funny that why the hell not. Her and Dirk also have a mini series where they go on places like wattpad and ao3 and read fanfiction people have made of the group. Mainly the fanfiction consists of Dirk X reader/OC, they made a drinking game out of it (with sprite) every time the reader/OC tries fighting one of the alpha kids.

Dirk is the one who plays games, he’s most known for his FNAF playthroughs because he’ll calm himself down by screaming out My Little Pony song lyrics, or even, “Freddy-Kun I know you want the dick but I’m not into robo-sex, bro.” He’ll sometimes put up speed-paints of commissions he’s done, and he has been known to live stream especially for charity, and it’s either him playing a game that’s popular atm or drawing requests by people who’ve donated. (sometimes his twin Hal plays games with him, but not much since he’s usually busy, same with roxy)

Jake is the daredevil of the group, and is the one that’s usually going around the state they live in and doing really crazy things. He has done a gun safety video, and has a 5 episode mini series of surviving out in the woods. He’s probably one of the most known in the group since people make fun of him and his short-ass shorts. He has been known to star in Roxy’s videos, whether it be her giving him a make over, or him trying to do her make up. 

They all do come together from time to time and play games, whether it be board games or video games. They do one of the two.