just some infamous thots but...
I love that we get language in the story that The Band hasn't really talked about "BreakupGate" or even The Vote in the three years since it happened. That they're happy enough to sweep it under the rug, tiptoe around it, or avoid seriously talking about it completely with MC.
I also love that there's a little bit of guilt there through what we hear about Iris at the Overkill (potentially) and Devyn outright during rehearsal (the "sorry" coming from nowhere right?). I imagine that MC at least has seen more comments along Rowan's lines (like just be glad you weren't there for BreakupGate toward August) than anyone trying to actually face what happened.
With Camy, I think the band's lack of willingness to address it is excused by Camy's behavior. She's never given them any real cause to assume she's not fully over it even though it is still a very sensitive topic to her. I think the break up and Seven leaving hurt, and she had a "mourning period" but only as to what was acceptable before she felt her feelings were a burden and dragging the band down. She had to step up, she had to chew through and spit out her feelings for the sake of the band's survival.
She had to continue living the life she and Seven lived without Seven and somehow do it better. The BOTB blurb confirms that she achieved this, she succeeded.
But I love thinking about: at what cost?
And tl;dr it's her personal life, her personal feelings on the issue, her love life, etc. I do not think she gave herself enough time to even think on the matter and to that point I do not think that she trusts her friends with those feelings since they've turned into her responsibility and they've been unwilling to really engage with her meaningfully. Are they concerned? Of course. Are they going to act on it? Doesn't look like it.
It seems like everyone was content to move past it, maybe breathe a sigh of relief when it appeared Camy got back on her feet, and move on without much thought to her outside of equating her assuming responsibility as her being over it all.
Which, to me, is why the Night scene with Seven on the bus is so interesting.
She tells him point blank that she hasn't gotten over him, over them.
I think that's one of the first time she's told anyone she still has lingering feelings on the break up, on The Vote. And it's to Seven. Yes, her rival, yes, who hates her, but yes, it's to someone she's no longer responsible for, someone she no longer has to support and be the leader for. Yes, she has to be strong and guarded in front of Seven, but no, not for the same reasons. Despite how much it hurt to admit and then to be rejected, I think there's some twisted relief in being able to tell someone about it, finally, and know she was going to get an honest response.
I don't think she regretted it either ... :)
At least, until Soft Violence's latest song and performance ... :)
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Just experienced the gayest as fuck experience at school. like living the dream type shit, and ironically it was not gay at the same time?
Apparently, according to my classmates, my hair is ridiculously soft. And I've actually been rewarded with headpats due to this, in which, as a touch starved gayass catboy? Absolute win.
Then I come over and quite literally draw boobs with my friends, in which one of them is one of the cutest girls in class (unanimous opinion btw) and I also find her very adorable and pretty, aesthetic attraction type beat <33
She then discovers the magic that is my hair, and then begins to hyperfixate on it and pet it endlessly. Like full on unlimited headpats!!! Just full on caressing my hair and it went on for about an HOUR and like??? holy moly?
Honestly the gay dream, and the craziest part is it wasn't even inherently romantic to me?? But anyways I just folded like a leaf, eyes dilated like a cat, and laid there pretending to have fallen asleep to the headpats and SHE DIDNT STOP!!! living the DREAM <3
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npd is so funny because for some time I was like well noooo I dont manipulate people! I dont fit the "Interpersonally exploitive, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his/her own ends" criteria!
and then I will think a little bit on my life from new lenses and go oh wait. I do this ALLLLL the time I just didnt register it!
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