#*shot'd*

[fiveocock]

For @ladygreige 🥰💖

[todayisafridaynight]

what sucks about having a waffle brain is that i cant design tattoos to save my life

[benevolentcannibal]

zoro ...

why are you screaming like that honestly the funniest sound he's ever made

[barkhoffman]

3, 7, 10?! spins around and falls over on my face

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've ever seen on tumblr

hm it's gotta be either someone who was like WHY would ANYONE ever ship HOFFSTRAHM (delulu) or that one I alluded to in the last one where someone said that Adam was not a liar lmao like no shade to that person in particular I just found it very funny and very very inaccurate

I'm sure there are objectively more garbage takes because I haven't been in this fandom on tumblr for very long though, I'm confident I'll vagueblog about a worse post when I find one AHAHAHA

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

I haven't been in the fandom proper long enough to hate any characters for this specific reason but I'll come back to this post to eat my words in a couple months I'm sure

10. worst part of fanon

this is controversial and might get rocks and sticks and tomatoes and sharp objects thrown in my direction but

"Hoffman intended Strahm to trust him and get in the glass coffin omg he's so sad that he didn't!!!"

besties I

I hate to break it to you but

they spend all that time with John training Hoffman on anticipating human nature for a reason

Hoffman 3000% intended Strahm to get panini pressed, he knew from the experience of putting Strahm in his first trap that Strahm was not the type to trust Jigsaw (or much of anyone), he worded Strahm's second tape how he did specifically knowing he wouldn't get to the end and wouldn't do what it said even if he did

like I know the glass coffin is the Titanic door for weird gay people but Hoffman in no way, shape, or form ever intended for Strahm to actually become his apprentice or survive that room I'm SORRY I KNOW WE LIKE TO BE FLUFFY AND DELUSIONAL HERE I JUST WROTE OVER 12K WORDS OF FLUFF FOR THEM BUT IT'S NOT! REALISTIC!!!

and on that note, if you look closely at the end of that scene, Hoffman isn't turning his head away from Strahm's death, he's turning his head under the gap in the walls specifically so that he can keep watching Strahm getting crushed the entire time until the walls are all the way closed, HE WAS SMIRKING BASICALLY THE ENTIRE TIME THE WALLS WERE CLOSING HE WAS SMIRKING

idc what Hoffman's actor said about turning his head away as a gesture of guilt, if Hoffman was that guilty about killing Strahm he would have closed his eyes or started to turn his head the second his coffin was money shot'd by Strahm's blood when Strahm's arm cracked open like a crab leg in the hand of your average Marlyander

my hottest most scorching take on this matter is that there's a better argument he actually wanted Rigg to be his apprentice in the style everyone says he wanted to recruit Strahm, since Rigg was actually made to "see what I see/feel what I feel/save how I save" and put people in traps himself, whereas the entire time Strahm is chasing down Hoffman, Hoffman is actively taking the steps to frame him even before Strahm dies (which lends credence to the idea that Hoffman learned how to anticipate people from John and knew there was no way Strahm was leaving that coffin room alive)

sorry I'll probably be excommunicated from the coffinfandom for this or smth but they hated Jesus for telling the truth too

[choose violence ask game]

[actualbird]

hiatus here for a bit cuz despite being fully vaxxed and double booster shot'd this time around, covid positive 2 electric boogaloo feels way worse. be back when i can stay awake for longer than 20 mins at a time and moving doesnt ache ✌️

[cosmic-tuna]

what does /shot mean

lord.

you know how in REALLY old cartoons they do the cane thing? this.

It is basically that bit an old ass internet version, i've been using it for well over a decade

other variants include '--/shot'd' or '--/smack'

Basically when a joke or suggestion is so bad you get jokingly punished

[mayra-quijotescx]

Started a new randomizer run after beating Red on my first try (5hrs 49min, extremely rancid item shuffle, bumped into fully 1/4 of the available trainers, also forgot several checks in Johto, but had an Ursaring with 207 attack by the end so a lot of those trainer battles were just feeling kinda bad for 30 seconds while the Machine That Turns Enemy Pokemon Into KO'd Enemy Pokemon stomped away)

And the starter options this time were Dragonair, Pupitar, and a since-forgotten third option that'd be foolish to try running. ...And my main is a Blastoise that I hastily pulled from the grass outside Violet City after getting one-shot'd by both the Sprout Tower elder and Violet Gym Trainer 1 bc wouldn't you know it, every third trainer in this run has someone with an Ice-type attack (2x effect against Dragonair and Pupitar/Tyranitar, 4x effect against Dragonite), which would be utterly devious and honestly kind of funny if it was on purpose.

[asexual-levia-tan]

you can log in as a pet but you can't log in as a partner😔

i have to assume that's because partners are human-shaped, but it still makes it impossible to level up my commerce partner so she doesn't get one-shot'd by a master level bandit

[nyyxqueen]

Oh no she got shot'd

That's not good

:(

[jiannguo]

To the lovely Anon who wrote to me about Jianguo and the couch...

I apologise I can't reply directly, in the past where I've tried to talk about or even clarify CP theories I was badly attacked in DM's , and the posts were screen shot'd and mocked in twt. So for the sake of my own sanity and mental health, I won't reply here but feel free to DM me directly and I can tell you my personal thoughts. Have a great day!

Also, I changed my header 😅 to something that screaaaams HOT 🔥 🥵

[benevolentscars]

I got boostered and flu shot'd both yesterday and I was prepared to be out for 24 hrs of headaches and sickness like all my other moderna shots/boosters, but

pro: I'm not completely out of commission! I can walk around and have coffee and have regular meals and not be bedridden!

con: even if its not as bad I still have headache :(

[huffle-dork]

Oh, fuck. Shit. Right, uh, okay. Well, I can open pocket spaces, but I’ve never tried to tap into th’ void before... it’s tied directly to dark magic, which is part o’ why. I... I may be able to do it, but ye’re gonna have ta narrow down th’ search so we’re not wandering blind in there. ‘m sorry fer not bein’ here earlier, and... wait. Did you call me yer “husband?” —M.

Okay we’ll try to see how we can narrow something down... I’m scared Marv. I feel like we’re gonna lose her. 

AND UM YOU CAN IGNORE THAT THAT”S UH THAT”S JUST A DISCORD JOKE AHAH 

[autoacafiles]

Just out of curiosity, what would a "Shattered Glass" version of Autobot Academy look like?

The obvious answer would be a school of villainy, but when you think about it, such an answer would be nonsense. Not only would teaching people to do bad things feel antithetical to the antiauthoritarian spirit of villainy, but it'd be busted by any government that stumbles across it.

No, the negative polarity Autobot Academy would be a very different place, a place dedicated to a very different, more insidious kind of evil that we see, yet one entirely necessary for the functioning of any civilized society that fell into the trap of institutional rules...

Shattered Glass Autobot Academy would be a law school.

[cosmic-tuna]

Someone give me checkmarks if u love me--/shot'd

[alolan-colress]

IM A FUCKING DUMBASS i didnt know happiness (those hearts appearing when u talk to ur mon in the camp) decreases when they FAINT.... guess who's happiness decreased when i accidentally bumped in an overworld spawn and didnt use a pokedoll resulting to my underleveled deino getting one shot'd 🙃

[atlaslain]

KIT. ( Am I gonna be shot'd for going for KitKat, maybe. Lov it tho. ) Lemme just. Lemme just sit in here for a while bc you're an awesome noodle and ily and your writing / shenanigans.

ender comin for my heart here???  /  @argentumtonitrua

            akjfdxkjcgcnkfgbc u may,,,, have all my uwus. i was gonna keep this in my inbox for general sunshine purposes but i also wanted to answer and tell you how lovely you are so??? HI, YOU’RE LOVELY AND U MAY CALL ME KITKAT ALL U WANT. skmfcngv ily.