#-other slugs with him or it was just him. can’t remember the specific episodes but those were the scenes.

[archersartcorner]

Rewatching ASO (againnnnnn) and made some date observations… I love concrete dates!!! I love knowing time frames!!!!

[sketch--booked]

I wanna complain about how the ninja treated Zane in the first few episodes real quick. Specifically in Home. Since I have some beef with the ninja.

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So remember that one time Zane froze the entire monastery without effort? Yeah, that was kinda cool,

Now I begin to get angry, You’ve been warned--

And the ninja, understandably, were upset and I can get that.

But then you see how they all kinda just--- treated him really badly all the time. I get it,, he’s got weird traits and does very “Zane” things (being unfazed to be in the bathroom with somebody, legitimately not understanding comedy and laughing at odd things, at least Nya and Jay weren’t watching a horror or slasher movie, and his famous sitting-in-the-fridge scene) but like--

They really gonna do this??

Laugh at the guy for what he wears and throw around the food he made for them? Even Wu, may I add.

Can I also call attention to Jay, who throws something at Zane.

AND LOOK AT HIM--

That is not a face of comfort? By any means?? Zane shows a very little range of emotion, in the early seasons especially. But when Jay throws his own food at him, he frowns. THAT’S EMOTION,, HE’S NOT HAPPY,,, THIS ISN’T A JOKE NOR IS IT FUNNY TO HIM.

And they just--Don’t even do a double-take.

I’m bewildered at just how horribly they treat him, in this scene specifically. Not one of them, NOT EVEN WU, takes a second to think about how Zane might feel in this moment??? IN FACT, If you listen carefully, you can hear Nya and Jay belittling him.

“He looks so cute in his apron!” and “Look at his face!”

THEY ACKNOWLEDGE THEY’RE BEING CRUEL LIKE WTF THIS MAKES ME SO MAD--I HOPE THEY WENT TO BED STARVING.

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So after this god awful display of friendship that makes me want to slap all the other ninja, we get the infamous Falcon scene.

Zane has his general neutral kinda-angy-lookin’ expression. So we can’t really tell what he’s feeling in this moment, but it’s his actions that follow that say everything.

He sees the falcon and is intrigued by it and actually smiles. Which is good! That’s emotion! Well done, Zane, you’re learning!

NOW IT’S THIS BIT---IS WHERE I GET REAL JUST---HHHHHMMM It’s in this moment, I wonder if Zane knows what a toxic friendship isghghgh I jest--

Zane is smiling when he sees the falcon fly off. He likes the bird but he lets it leave.

But then---

Zane takes one brief look back to the sound of his friends and without a second doubt he BOOKS IT--

So from initially seeing this, you get the instant feeling that he would prefer to follow a mysterious bird into possible danger, than go back to his friends who are still laughing in the distance. He obviously was going to return back to them, they tease his lack of returning later in the episode WHICH I HOPE TO GET TO. But that does say enough about his actual feelings towards the rest. 

Strange, possibly evil bird---or my friends who’re probably going to continue to laugh at me.

It’s a nobrainer that he’d follow the bird??

He’s not truly upset at them, I don’t even think that Zane has the capability to really be angry ngl,, but he still chose the bird over his “family” and that’s what makes me so angry at the ninja. 

And to those who say “He’s not upset at the ninja, he’s just curious and the fact that he essentially ran away from them, doesn’t mean he dislikes them” I say,,, That is fair. And I will, for the sake of not looking like a dick, argue for that.

It’s clear that Zane likes to know stuff. In the beginning, he’s been the smart one. Even in this episode Kai says “We like the guy, he’s really smart..” then complains about him being weird. And later down the line he’s shown an interest in learning, being the only one in season 11 to actually read about the desert of doom and the Mechanic himself saying he’s an inquisitive nindroid in season 12.

So it’s understandable if Zane was simply sating his curiosity. But how can you tell me that the previous event was not a deciding factor in choosing the bird instead..

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I would now like to jump forward to when the ninja are at Lloyd’s tree-house (Can I point out that the first place the falcon took zane, was a tree-house. And the last was a tree house?? Anybody? okay just me--). 

And when they ask him how he found it; he tells them it’s because it danced. Jay then jokingly asks if it was a coo-coo bird, promoting everyone to--

IF YOU GUESSED “laugh at him” YOU’D BE CORRECT, HOW DID YOU GUESS???

When he does his info dump thing they don’t even bother, they just shrug in unison--which ngl I do find funny ghghgh

.

Now that’s where you’d think the Zane bullying stops right?

NOPE,, TIME TO BURN DOWN THE MONASTERY (this is a cool shot btw)

This is a good shot too, because it sets up that Zane will be a focus, and you can already assume it’s because, in some essence, this is Zane’s fault.

But then they go all out on him. They straight up tell him this was his fault, that he shouldn’t have followed the bird, he shouldn’t have been curious or try to help, that everything they had here is gone, and yell at him to his face “A teaching moment? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you get it? Everything is gone!” and it’s because of him.

In this moment they are taking out every frustration they had with him. They’re taking out every moment he’s gone into his own world and making their lives harder and that their home is gone because of him.

This is one of the very first, and very few times all the ninja have pitted against just one of their team. And it hurts. Because Zane’s reaction to this, his response to being treated horribly, having his food thrown at him like he didn’t spend likely hours making and planing it, like he doesn’t do the chores they probably wont do (taking out the rubbish earlier in the episode), is to go back to them like he wasn’t hurt by this at all. 

And y’know what could’ve solved this entire thing? What could’ve prevented the exclusion and the explosion that is their friendship. Communication. On both sides, neither of them communicated with each other. The ninja didn’t openly express their feelings towards Zane TO Zane, only Wu and probably Nya. And Zane never expressed anything, ever, like--literally nothing. His moment of most emotion is in episode 7 dammit.

And I just--This is an issue that’s followed through even to the new seasons. Honest to god some of the only times I can recall him actually expressing how he feels about something, is with Pixal, and when Kai persuades him to break his morals and cheat in the slug race. God please help me find more examples because I cannot remember anything else (I’m ignoring Decoded for the time being since the last episode of that was almost entirely “Zane therapy time”)

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Imma end it here because my rant juices have stopped flowing and I haven’t slept in many many long hours and I really would like to collapse right about now.

So i’m not saying Zane has it worst, he probably doesn’t,, but what I’m saying is that Zane had a tough time in the beginning especially. After Kai became properly a part of the group, it was Zane that they outcasted. And because they wouldn’t actually talk to him about what they all thought. They didn’t take the time to understand him and only realized they missed him and how badly they’d been treating him when he was gone.

In the start, they were bad friends, they were horrible in fact. Zane tried, or didn’t. Where he didn’t understand people or social cues, he understood being kind and doing the right thing. 

The ninja did however work from this. As of this episode, they tone down the mistreatment and make a bigger effort to get the guy. And it’s all explained and finished in episode 7.

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Overall, I really like this episode! I think the characters were great! I think the humor was great! I think the progression was great! I dunno why some o’ yall think I don’t like something because I hate it. I can hate-love something, and you’ll find there are a lot of things I hate-love in ninjago.

[atamascolily]

lily watches fma:b, eps. 58-61

I hate suspense, so I went ahead and read the plot summary for the next few episodes, so I could relax a bit. Unfortunately, there's a lot of plot decisions that elicit a major "WTF?" from me, so we'll see if they work better in context.

so they're using the Gates as transportation portals now?? This is new, isn't it?? or does it only work with people who have already opened gates?? I'm so confused!!

okay, so ling doesn't know how to use alchemy to heal people? but he can sense homunculi because chi? or is this just something everyone in Xing can do? I'M SO CONFUSED.

[he has a stone but neither he nor Greed know how to use it to heal others, I guess?? why not, though?]

Bucaneer calls Olivier a "queen," which is right on!

Greedling is the best thing about this adaptation, full stop

*sings* "It must be nice, must be nice, to have a homunculus on your side..."

that one random woman looks so much like Danta from FMA03 that I just had to shake myself to make sure I wasn't imagining it

Elicia HAS ECLIPSE GLASSES AND IT'S THE CUTEST THING

I don't understand why Hoheneheim counts as a sacrifice - yes, he was present for the opening in Xerxes, but he did not attempt human transmutation himself (even though the portal was centered around him without his knowledge) I feel like intent matters?? iirc, he wasn't consumed and broken down the way Ed and Al were???

He's also now fused with Father in a weird blob that reminds me of Topaz trapping humans in Steven Universe.

I don't know why Hawkeye hasn't managed to shoot the evil doctor in all this close-quarters fighting. And why isn't Roy using flames? We had a demo earlier with the zombies that he can work around his allies without burning them, so... ???

Mustang is ordered to perform human transmutation so the bad guys can have a fifth person to complete their circle (somehow, alchemy always works in fives?) He refuses, but then they say they'll shoot Hawkeye if he doesn't so he caves.

this "gotta get a complete set" seems really sloppy for Team Bad, because the eclipse is like, any minute now. Seems like they're cutting it really close. You think they could have found/persuaded/forced someone into doing it, given how long they've had to work at this. So I'm just like "???" about this.

(the doctor dude also lampshades this, lol)

also, I'm so confused why the doctor claims Roy can bring anyone he wants back - maybe this was FMA03 I'm thinking of, but it seems like you would need some sort of specific connection to a particularl person in order to bring them back that you couldn't just whip out at a moment's notice??

is there any other way to open the gateway besides human transmutation?? And why doesn't the doctor count, since they've made plenty of philosopher's stones (which involve human transmutation, and is why Hohenheim is a sacrifice in the first place)??

okay, hawkeye isn't dead yet, but he's supposed to transmute her anyway? How does that differ from healing? I'M SO CONFUSED.

anyway, pride shows up and eats the annoying doctor and also makes a transmutation circle with his shadows while Bradley pins Mustang to the floor. o...kay. andthen it just...happens?without roy's consent?

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DUDES

okay, andnow the eclipse is starting, irl they'd have a maximum of 8 minutes at totality to Do The Thing, but who the fuck knows what's happening here since all the characters are UNDERGROUND (how do they even KNOW)

fuck, they're basically raping mustang here since his consent does not matter because pride ate the doctor and the doctor has the knowledge (but that should make him and/or pride the sacrifice, not ROY).

like what the actual fuck

so the doctor gets transmuted, even though he was the one with the relevant knowledge?? I don't get it.

and mustang is automatically transported to be with the other sacrifices - why? how?? how does this even work? is that other circlethey wereusing still active? was it part of pride's set-up for this circle to be dual-purpose?HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

and apparently, it's just one floor below so all they have to do is break the floor??

Roy is blind... but does not physically lose his eyes, which makes NO SENSE, given that Al, Ed and Izumi lost actual physical pieces of themselves.THE FUCK.

ed's like, "this is super fucked up shit, and you don't get to moralize about human nature and hubris if you guys forced him to do this"

pride is basically acting like a kid who had all the time in the world for an assignment and then rushed to complete it at the last possible moment

scar fights bradley, yes FINALLY SOMEBODY KILL THAT DUDE

al's emaciated body is just so heartbreaking, and al's like "no! I can't suddenly move to this incredibly emaciated version of myself before the final battle!" which is actually really smart of him

of course, al's body waits until AFTER his soul leaves to monologue about how al might have just destroyed the entire world. GEE THANKS YOU ASSHOLE.

broussh shows up at the radio station and maria ross is like :????:

Father says the sacrifices are "all in his belly" and we cut to the chimeras on the outside looking at a massive blob - so Father is ALSO a gate???

(ngl: it would make TOTAL SENSE if Father was originally one of the creatures we see when the gate opens, who got pulled into our world by Hohenheim's master... especially since he used Hohenheim's blood? DID HIS MASTER PERFORM HUMAN TRANSMUTATION? WOULDN'T IT BE AWESOME IF WE ACTUALLY GOT SOME ANSWERS??)

(okay, this is my working headcanon now)

May's like "I'M GONNA TAKE 'EM" and I'm like "aww, heck yeah girl!"

it's really appropriate that Scar--Formerly Consumed by Anger--is fighting Wrath, who ordered the Amestrian equivalent of Order 66 on Ishval.

scar put a reconstruction circle on his other arm, how Symbolic

FATHER MAKES A GUN OUT OF HIS OWN BODY WITH EYES AND TEETH

no seriously, what the fuck did I just witness

Al apologizes to Hohenheim in case he hits him when he attacks father, bless that boy

Izumi makes A GIANT FUCKING CROSSBOW, did I mention I love her?

the personal gates of all of the sacrifices open - so they have giant eyes in their stomachs, wtf

father wants to open.. the planet's gate??

(this ties in with the alkahestry and chi, but... what?)

okay, the country-wide transmutation circle activates and everyone dies

Pinako (who knows Hohenheim is involved with this shit): Hohenheim, I'm gonna slug you. AND DAMN WELL YOU SHOULD MA'AM.

then the gates open and Father challenges God to a fistfight

... and God answers??

[apparently God lives in the sun, and only comes out during an eclipse??? looks just like the usual gate-eye-tentacle creature, tho]

okay, so we get our answer as to why an eclipse: male + female, sun + moon, = perfect being = immortality.

apparently there's a rule that all megalomaniacal shounen villains end up looking the same, because Father looks just like Aizen''s final form from Bleach now, except with more eyes.

Father ate God and now he's young and hot and mostly naked again.

He negates alchemy and creates a miniature sun in his hand because he can.

I hope God gives him indigestion or something.

Oh, wait, Hohenheim had a plan after all... THOUGH APPARENTLY 50 MILLION PEOPLE HAD TO DIE FIRST, WAY TO GO THERE

turns out he's been letting bits of his philosopher stone around amestris on his travels so that father would eat them and they'd tear him apart from the inside

... and the circle for the alchemy is the moon's shadow on the earth.

[I don't know if the astronomy actually works out, but it's very nifty nonetheless]

anyway, everybody's soul returns to their bodies, and everyone wakes up. IDK how their bodies handle having been functionally brain dead, but we're just gonna say it all works out, okay?

ooh, and everyone REMEMBERS WHAT JUST HAPPENED so they’re all like “...the fuck??”

scar saves the world by activating the reverse transmutation circle over the center that all the Ishvalans set up during the time skip

instead of blood you just need circles drawn on paper for reconstruction? why did Team Evil go to so much trouble to murder people instead?

father spends this whole fight looking like a very ripped hohenheim in a bathrobe around his waist OMG

pride calls ed his brother and I think this was handled better in 03 with Envy, but w/e. anyway he's going to take over ed's body but kimblee steps in and stops him

(man, this fucker again!!!)

kimblee's like "lol, I just like being a contrary bitch"

pride is reduced to a little baby, which Ed calls "Selim" and puts on his red jacket... okay...

well that was a trip.

cannot fault the manga-ka for ambition and epic scale here, but also: WHAT DID I JUST WATCH.

[space-finally]

So! I’ve picked through clips and images of stuff we haven’t seen yet (as of Episode 5) to try to piece together what happens next.

Also I’m gonna be using the TV guide summaries for help placing which scene occurs in what episode. Notice, however, that the summaries only show up to episode 9, of the 13 total episodes.

Olan recently said that episodes 12 and 13 were still in production, so it’s very unlikely we’ll be seeing anything from those anyways.

Obvious spoilers below!

I’m assuming that any scene featuring Mrs. Goodspeed happens here:

(I mean, that’s not to say she COULDN’T appear in any later episodes)

...and since they’re escaping specifically Zargon slugs, we know that they MUST be in the “Dark Zone.”

Also, since she’s his mother, I’m assuming we’re gonna get a little background on Gary’s childhood, so we’re probably gonna see these as well:

So THESE must be Arachnitects, so anything they appear in I’m going to assume comes from this episode. Also, anything involving Titan-y exposition, since they seem to be from the same episode.

Since it also says that this is where Tribore starts to rebuild the resistance, then this is also when we see this clip:

I’m also assuming this happens at the beginning of the episode, since he’s not standing with the rest of the group in the Titans’ realm.

This seems to show an alternate meeting of Quinn and Gary, most likely Nightfall meeting “her” Gary.

Since it also mentions “evil KVNs,” then these are all from this episode too:

...As for the next two episodes (that we HAVE descriptions for) I can’t confidently place the rest of the clips anywhere. So, I’m just going to give a few of my best guesses.

This might belong in “The Notorious Mrs. Goodspeed,” since it appears in the same clip as the scene with the Zargon slugs, and the color palate seems to match the place where we saw her earlier. Maybe this place houses the next dimensional key, and she’s helping them get to it (when really she’s planning on keeping it for herself?) (I do think that we should find a dimensional key at least once every other episode, if we’re ever gonna get anywhere with those.)

Again, this might be the same episode because the color palatte seems to match. Then again, we see everybody here EXCEPT Tribore, so it could also be after he left, so “The Arachnarchitects” or after.

Could be from the same episode as the one before, or could not be. The color palate is the same, but everyone seems to have moved around. But they still could be? Maybe it’s from “Arachnarchitects,” if Chapter 8′s anything to go by travel to Titan-y places seems pretty...exhilarating. And, since Mooncake goes missing in that one, maybe the first picture is them heading towards, and the second is them heading back?

This may be exposition via flashback in “The Arachnarchitects,” OR this could be after Gary’s freed Bolo, and thus one of the latest clips chronologically that we’ve seen. In the case of the latter, hmmm.....doesn’t look good! Freeing him might have been a mistake! ‘’:)

Don’t have any concrete reason to think why, but I think this might be in the next episode, just ‘cause the first episode sorta set up these two having a conflict and we haven’t really seen them fighting at all since, so I’d hope to see that come back soon.

....At this point this could still be anywhere. Back before “The Happy Place” I thought for sure we’d be seeing it there, then I was sure it would be in “The Other Side,” so I’m kinda done guessing with this one. Either way, I’m not too worried, maybe this will be where Ash saves him with her powers.

Don’t really know where this could belong, other than maybe still in the Titan’s/Arachnarchitects’ place. Again, only saying ‘cause the background seems to match the color palette.

Don’t really have any frame of reference for these either. I thought the “who’s there” part was gonna be for the “unexpected guest” he ended up throwing the bachelor party for, but clearly not.

Still don’t know about this either? Looks like it COULD be inside the Crimson Light though

These are from the same sequence (Maybe there’s a dimensional key inside wherever he’s at?) Or they might be connected to these:

Maybe this is some sort of “trial” from the Titans? Or this could have to do with “The Remembered,” what with the mountain of skulls and the death motif implied by the title. I’m still not 100% sure though.

(Oh hey, you know who those guys kinda remind me of too?)

(though Olan confirmed that he’s neither a Titan nor a villain at all. So maybe he’s help, or like a weird “guide” sorta character?)

Could this be related too?

The “ghost” scene looks like it could belong either at a beginning or an end. Still, some super hella spooky foreshadowing there. (Kinda makes me think of the “Remembered”?

...And the last one we have a description for:

...Maybe this “way of communicating with Quinn” involves whatever this is?

And this looks like it could be located here:

(Notice what looks like a snowy mountain side on the left side there.) I’d previously guessed this was where the “happy place” would be, but I guessed wrong.

...This looks like it could be the remnants of Earth, so this would have to be one of the last couple of episodes, once they’ve made it inside. Otherwise, maybe once Gary’s able to communicate with Quinn, we actually switch to her POV for a bit and see how she’s holding up inside Final Space and just what she’s dealing with? Although it’d be more likely that they’d keep us mostly in the dark in that aspect, until she’s actually out.

This sort of looks like an “ending,” maaayybe this might be the end of “Mrs. Goodspeed,” with him upset that she’d leave him again? Or maybe it could be Gary upset and missing Quinn, and this is right before he figures out how he can communicate with her?

Don’t know where this could fit in either the “Dark Zone,” and the slugs are somewhere in here, or possibly it’s where they keep any lifeforms that manage to survive inside Final Space, and Quinn’s in one of these?

[kcwcommentary]

VLD4x04 – “The Voltron Show!”

4x04 – “The Voltron Show!”

Well, this episode exists.

Coran’s big screaming rant before the Paladins’ final performance is something. I think it reveals a lot about what Joaquim Dos Santos and Lauren Montgomery were like as executive producers. There is a toxicity that has seeped into this show so significantly that Coran’s big rant, and a couple other moments before that too, are filled with a lot of the same public complaints about the show’s production that we’ve gotten from the EPs in interviews.

The idea that this show just didn’t have the time to show us how events affect characters is discredited by the existence of episodes like this one. I don’t see what this episode adds to the show. We have already seen the Paladins engaging in performances to try to convince planets to join the Coalition back in 4x01 “Code of Honor,” and this episode feels like repeating that story, which wasn’t even a good story to begin with.

Near the beginning of the episode, Voltron is used to help build/repair a hospital on some planet. Elite fighting unit Voltron is doing the work of building a hospital? Shouldn’t this be something that the people on this planet already did themselves? Even if the hospital is to treat war veterans, as Coran says, I would think building it would be something that Coalition members could do as part of their contribution, not something Voltron itself would be assigned to. As I’ve said in previous commentaries, this season feels so casual compared to the past three.

Coran has provided the Paladins with a script for them to perform for the hospital’s patients. Reading the script, Pidge says, “This isn’t even factually accurate.” Coran replies, “Well, this is the legend of Voltron, not the documentary of Voltron.” In other words, it’s propaganda. I don’t think producing and manipulating people with propaganda is a heroic thing to do, so it’s offensive that this show has our supposed heroes doing it. Coran tells Allura that she’s going to be playing Keith. That Allura is weirdly angry, growling and distorting her face as the camera zooms in on her, is proof that the writers of this show did not write these characters to be friends. Keith’s absence here would be the perfect moment for the characters to express some sadness that he’s not there and worry about his safety. Instead, the episode has Allura annoyed that she even has to think about him and none of the other Paladins say anything about Keith at all. “Besides, playing Keith is easy: just act really moody.” Because that’s all Keith is? It seems like another instance of the show’s writers’ concept of characterization as being nothing but single bullet-points.

Coran’s script has Voltron having to “save the helpless Princess Allura.” Because it’s funny for Coran to reduce her into a helpless damsel? Taking away her power and agency for Coran’s story is going to cause the audience they’re performing for to feel empowered and inspired to join the Coalition? “Thank you, team, for always being by my side through thick or thin,” Shiro reads from his script. Too bad there are moments throughout this show where they’re not. Anyone who had been in their audience left during it. Lance wants to get back to air shows with explosions.

Once Coran is alone, one patient comes back in: the Unilu shopkeeper in 2x07 “Space Mall.” He offers some device that he describes as a “mind enhancer.” They negotiate in the same style that they did in “Space Mall.” I liked it back in that episode, and on its own I like this second round of it, but it feels out of place.

The next planet Voltron goes to for their performance is one where they have terrible weather on every day except one. I guess it works as a joke, but it’s certainly not realistic. They’re a day late, and the weather is bad again. Coran says he “forgot to calculate for time dilation.” This show has never included the issue of time dilation in the show’s methods of interstellar travel before. In space-based science fiction, ignoring time dilation while travelling at high speed is a conceit I’m willing to use. But if this show is going to reference it, then they need to actually use it in every instance in which it would be an issue, but they don’t. They only want it briefly to be used as a punchline to a joke here. Sigh.

Lance says to Coran, “I don’t know if you’re cut out to be managing this sort of thing.” Well, since the show had him do so back at the beginning of the season, the idea that he can’t now is baffling. Out of every main character, Coran is the one who’s been shown to be most capable of handling the stress of keeping everything running. This episode takes one of his characteristics, one of his strengths, and suddenly pretends it doesn’t exist.

So, he effectively uses performance enhancing drugs by placing the thing he bought from the Unilu guy under his pillow, which turns out to house some slug-like creature that crawls into Coran’s ear while he’s sleeping. Coran never reacts to the pain of something that large crawling into his ear. And the slug keeps going, somehow getting into Coran’s brain. Now, Coran is not human, so maybe one can get into an Altean’s brain through their ear, I doubt it, but maybe. I don’t buy whatsoever that this whole process is painless though.

They return to the mall. Coran behaves very oddly. Pidge picks up on it, but no one backs her up and everyone just goes along with it. It seems the writer and director intend his behavior to be funny, but I don’t find any of this funny at all. Nor do I find this performance of the Paladins funny either. The small audience that gathers around the performance applauds, one guy wants to join the Coalition. Seriously, this is the best use of an elite combat unit’s time? In this very episode, they’ve made a point that their recruitment efforts have been on planetary and solar system level of scale, and here they’re targeting individuals? Building a coalition on scale to fight a universe-spanning empire would be about diplomatic work with governmental leaders. This plot acts like building alliances to fight a war is done through commercial marketing.

They then head to another planet, and yet again this show doesn’t have a planet shaped like planets are shaped. This time, it looks like a twisted pickle or baguette. Sigh. It’s Bii-Boh-Bi’s planet. I really do not like Bii-Boh-Bi, nor his species. The show clearly thinks they’re funny, but I don’t find a single thing about them funny. This time, the Paladins’ show has them all ice skating. “Does anybody feel kind of stupid right now?” Hunk asks. I know exactly how you feel right now, Hunk.

After the performance, Coran gives a presentation. “I’ve worked up very specific personas for each of you. This is going to help the audience connect on a much deeper level with each team member. There’s Lover Boy Lance. […] Science Wiz Pidge. […] Lone Wolf Keith […]. Hunk, from now on, you’ll be Humerous Hunk. And last, but not least, Shiro the Hero.” With this scene, it seems like the writers of this show know that they are way too often reductive of characters to a single characteristic, so why don’t they fix that in their writing then?

They perform again on the Bii-Boh-Bi planet. If the goal is reaching a lot of different people in the universe, why are they performing multiple times for one planet? Coran, to supposedly help Hunk be funny, has Hunk purposefully tripped because nothing says funny like hurting someone. And then Coran adds fart sound effects. I’m not going to pretend that a fart sound can’t be funny, but this is just Coran being mean.

Shiro, at least briefly, remembers that they’re supposed to be helming a war effort, and he wants to give a speech about it during the performance. Coran literally tells Shiro to “stop talking. You’re Shiro the Hero. Heroes don’t speak. […] Muscles speak louder than words.” Ugh.

Later, Pidge talks to Coran. “I’m having real issues with the science you put in the script. It doesn’t make sense.” Coran responds, “It doesn’t need to.” This episode is so meta and self-referential. It’s like the writers of Voltron Legendary Defender are condescendingly mocking their viewers. So VLD’s writers know how their writing is bad, they just don’t want to do anything to make it better and resent anyone expecting them to do so.

They perform a third show on Bii-Boh-Bi’s planet, and maybe a fourth.

Coran wants to change their show some more. He wants Voltron to talk. He wants “new weapons and new outfits.” Shiro counters that they only have one performance left, this one is going to be broadcast at least on galactic scale (which tells me these previous performances on Bii-Boh-Bi’s planet were just for Bii-Boh-Bi’s people). The slug in Coran’s brain does whatever and Coran starts freaking out even more. He has a face of rage, but everyone is unnaturally chill. Yes, Coran’s freakout is being played for humor by the show, but it’s disturbing seeing everyone not reacting with a proportionate response to his behavior.

Allura says, “You must realize that we need to get back to fighting Zarkon.” Funny, I’ve been saying that this whole season. Coran screams at Allura, “We are fighting Zarkon, six nights a week and twice on the astral conflux.” It feels like the writers are aware of how bad what they’ve written this season is but that they think it’s unreasonable for anyone to complain about it being badly written.

Coran continues to scream, no one reacts the way someone would react if they were being screamed at. “You’re a bunch of quitters. Quitters. I’m a visionary. I have thoughts. Ideas. I don’t need you anyway. I’ll rewrite the show. Get rid of the whole lot of you. Replace you with new Paladins. And the show will be better than ever before. Except for you Shiro. I’ll never get rid of you. You’re our most popular character.”

What the…?

So, if Coran is supposed to represent the Executive Producers of Voltron Legendary Defender venting their frustrations about executive interference keeping them from doing anything and everything they want with the show, then this is not a flattering representation. We’ve had interviews with Joaquim Dos Santos and Lauren Montgomery now in which they’ve let us know that they had wanted to replace characters. For example, they wanted to kill Hunk and have Axca take over his spot as the Yellow Paladin. And they notoriously wanted to kill off Shiro multiple times but have said they were told they had to bring him back. Literally written into Coran’s dialog are the EP’s complaints about having to keep Shiro in the show.

I don’t know how this episode didn’t get Dos Santos and Montgomery fired. They literally wrote their problems with working for Dreamworks and with WEP into the show’s dialog. It’s like this episode exists for the sole purpose of having this rant by Coran. They took a whole episode’s time to put their whining complaints about making the show into the show itself. When you are putting any behind-the-scenes production drama into the show on purpose, you are demonstrating a severely dysfunctional creative process and work environment.

Allura briefly is “concerned about Coran” but she never acts out of her concern. Hunk is fully dismissive of Coran’s behavior as being nonimportant; friends do not so easily ignore the obvious sign a friend needs help, but they do here on VLD.

While the Paladins are about to go on stage, Coran returns to another planet and gets the big animal that lives there to have it attack the Paladins during the performance. I guess the Paladins didn’t notice Coran taking the Castle Ship and leaving them on Bii-Boh-Bi’s planet? People throughout the universe watch the broadcast. A Galra, who I think is the mallcop from “Space Mall,” is playing with Paladin action figures while watching. The mermaids from 2x02 “The Depths” are also shown to be watching; I don’t know why they specifically were chosen to be shown.

They form Voltron as part of the performance, and then Coran tries to use the creature to attack Voltron, but he gets thrown off as the creature chases the lighting effects around the stadium. The creature nearly kills members of the audience before Voltron can grab it. This creature can shoot rings of explosive energy from its mouth. Sigh.

Coran experiences some intense pain, finally, from having a slug leeching onto his brain. He asks Bii-Boh-Bi to help him, and Bii-Boh-Bi literally reaches into Coran’s ear and pulls the slug off his brain. This episode is absolutely ridiculous. One, that Bii-Bo-Bi jumps to the conclusion that the problem is the slug, but even more so, that he can reach in Coran’s ear and get to his brain. Free from the brainworm, Coran tells the Paladins, who, given their dialog, hadn’t already figured out that the creature was not a special effect. They lure the creature away and the performance is suddenly over.

Coran later apologizes. Shiro says “the Coalition is bigger than ever.” There has been no diplomatic meeting, no writing or signing any treaties, nothing that would be actual indicators of the development of the Coalition. This show has used those indicators before, like when the five alien leaders met for a diplomatic dinner on the Castle Ship in 3x01 “Changing of the Guard.”

I can’t think of any reason for this episode to exist. It doesn’t do anything to advance the plot. It doesn’t give any big exploration of character. It’s not even slightly funny. The only thing I can think of is that this whole episode was done so the EPs could write their frustrations with their job into the show.

Part of why I originally became interested in Voltron Legendary Defender is because so many of those who worked on Avatar The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra were working on this show. I thought the quality of storytelling in those shows would carry over to VLD. Going into VLD, I had respect for Dos Santos, Montgomery, and Tim Hedrick because they came from those shows. I didn’t realize until really recently that Joshua Hamilton wrote for AtLA and Korra too, so I should include him in this list too. But VLD is nowhere even remotely as well written as AtLA and Korra. For AtLA, I now give a lot, if not most, of the credit to Aaron Ehasz. I’m loving what he’s doing currently with The Dragon Prince. But I also have to give a lot of credit to Mike DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko. Whatever good work Dos Santos, Montgomery, Hedrick, and Hamilton did for AtLA and Korra, it’s because they had better bosses. With VLD, Dos Santos and Montgomery became the bosses, and I primarily blame them for the problems with the storytelling of this show.

I can’t get over that this episode literally puts the EPs public complaints and claims about executive interference into the characters’ dialog. Like I said earlier, I’m surprised they didn’t get fired for this.

[namajague]

For the character headcanons, can I submit a couple characters bc I Cannot choose.. if so: Baze Malbus (the otp there is obvious, but if u have any other ships for him I'm curious), Han Solo (I'm in SW hell rn ok), Moana (for ships idk, other Disney characters her age???), Rin Okumura, Paimon from GCrowds (not meant as a joke, really & truly), your favorite monster factory monster (probably meant as a joke)

Ah! I will do my best. I can’t do Rin though, because I’ve still… only seen like three episodes and can’t judge.

Baze:

Sexuality Headcanon: Gay. Just, very gay. Has never kissed a girl of any species, insofar as nonhuman species may be assumed to adhere to human gender binaries.Gender Headcanon: I really feel like he hasn’t thought about it much and embodies the space of ‘man’ by default, but he could probably go elsewhere if he had one second of one day where he wasn’t in danger.A ship I have with said character: HIS HUSBAND. Also Bodhi sometimes, shhh.A “FRIEND SHIP” I have with said character: I want him to be friends with Jyn because I want her character to be more developed and I think she could learn from him to be honest.A NOTP I have with said character: Tarine tea.A random headcanon: I still like the thought about his ten-year absence being Chirrut exaggerating because he took too long coming back to the shop or something. “And he left me for TEN YEARS!” “Chirrut it was five hours.” “TEN YEARS!”General Opinion over said character: Good??? Very good, a large space dad who has VERY specific tastes in tea and will protect people he loves. I strive to be the same.

Han:

Sexuality Headcanon: Like… aggressively bi. He doesn’t know what to do with himself he’s attracted to so many people.Gender Headcanon: Oh, honestly. Just the scruffiest trans dude in the world, he feels the need to prove himself for some reason even though he lives in a universe with giant slugs and walking teddy bears.A ship I have with said character: Lando, Leia, Luke. He likes the Ls. Maybe Greedo once, when they were both drunk.A “FRIEND SHIP” I have with said character: Chewie. K2 in a world where K2 survives. Chirrut, in that same world, because they’d infuriate each other and I want to see that.A NOTP I have with said character: Uh. I don’t know, who do people ship him with. They probably ship him with Chewie, if I know the internet, and that I’m not down with, because that complicates a good copilot relationship. Maybe they were together once, but it needs to have stopped before they went into business together.A random headcanon: All the nerd explanations about “under twelve parsecs” meaning that he found a wormhole and whatever are missing the most obvious explanation: he was lying.General Opinion over said character: He’s a jerk, but he does his best when he stops trying to convince himself he’s a hardass. He’s not one, even a little.

Moana:

Sexuality Headcanon: It’s hard to say, because she doesn’t actually interact with anyone her own age. And hardly anyone not related to her. I refuse to headcanon people I like as straight, though, whatever form that takes.Gender Headcanon: I mean, it’s important that she’s a girl, obviously. I don’t know if she’s cis or trans or a nonbinary girl, because a) I just don’t know enough about Polynesian gender structures to speculate and b) I didn’t realize I was trans until I was seventeen, so I don’t know how younger trans people work. She’s a girl though.A ship I have with said character: Ariel. I saw like, one post, and I’m completely sold. Ocean girls (who are both roughly sixteen, I’m pretty sure?) who can meet at the shore or the ocean can help them meet elsewhere. A good relationship.A “FRIEND SHIP” I have with said character: Maui. Gramma Tala. The pig whose name I don’t remember, I liked him.A NOTP I have with said character: MAUI. WHY HAVE I SEEN HER SHIPPED WITH MAUI, STOP.A random headcanon: I... don’t know, and I’ve been trying to work on this post for two days and this is the last part I have to fill in so I’m giving up.General Opinion over said character: She’s good and I love her and I’m glad her whole family is good and wants the best for her, even if her dad is misguided.

Paimon:

Sexuality Headcanon: Panda.Gender Headcanon: Panda.A ship I have with said character: No one on this planet lives up to his exacting standards.A “FRIEND SHIP” I have with said character: O.D.A NOTP I have with said character: It has been too long since I watched Gatchas, I have no idea for most of this, I’m sorry.A random headcanon: He’s going bald and is embarrassed about it.General Opinion over said character: I like him in theory? He’s a tiny anxious bear, and like… same. But oh my gosh please chill your beans.

I’ve actually only ever watched three episodes of Monster Factory, so let’s go with… the DAI one. This is cheating, and I don’t care.

DJ Slime Time:

Sexuality Headcanon: After trying very hard to think of something, I’m just gonna leave this one blank.Gender Headcanon: DJ Slime Time has TRANSCENDED GENDER. Also, Qunari gender is tough and I feel like Vashoth gender is probably muddled as a result. The good DJ has no gender except chaos.A ship I have with said character: Normally I’d say Bull, but I refuse on principle to ship him with Vashoth, because he really couldn’t handle it. Honestly, Sera’s probably the only one who could handle DJ Slime Time.A “FRIEND SHIP” I have with said character: Bull, despite the above. Merrill would love her, but Merrill isn’t in DAI, more’s the pity. She and Varric are absolute besties, but he’d like her a lot more if she didn’t keep taking him into the sky.A NOTP I have with said character: Solas. Solas is my NOTP for virtually everyone, but also he would honestly hate her. He doesn’t like that she’s probably as old as he is.A random headcanon: She never agrees with Cullen about one single thing and they do not like each other at all.General Opinion over said character: I love and admire her.

[doodlingleluke]

so the lovely @samby-chan tagged me in this naruto challenge thing and I figured I might as well do it because this is kind of? sorta? a naruto blog?

Name your Favourite Female Character(s):  temari + the konoha girls basically Male Character(s): gee I wonder who that might be... Team: sand fam Sensei: Kakashi and Iruka..I like the concept of kurenai but they never really gave us more than that. Hokage: I liked tsunade tbh. Kage: the mizukage lady who can literally spit lava and acid. Village: sand fam’s sand clan Akatsuki: konan and kisame (plus kakuzu and hidan I guess but I like the more as a team than as individual characters) Jutsu:  everything konan does basically Episode/Chapters: the very start of the whole gaara gets kidnapped arc if only because those are the only chapters of the manga I actually own.  Fight Scene: the hidan & kakuzu fight + all the sasuke retrieval arc fights. Fanfiction: that one author on fanfiction.net who wrote really good kank fics...the one I remember the most was about rasa having sent kank on secret s-ranked missions because he refused to assassinate gaara... I still think about it from time to time.  Story Arc: the chunin exam and sasuke retrieval arc will always be classic, tho I do remember really liking the pain’s assault arc because it felt like the first big victory in naruto’s story arc.  Filler: I’ve only seen the fillers where the sand sibs appear + the one where they dedicated an entire episode to making fun of gai’s small dick. OTP (explain why): I feel like I give the wrong impression here but I’m honestly not really a shipper. like I guess I could call shikatema my otp if only because they’re the couple I’m the most ok with.  NOTP (be nice):  the only ones I can think of is the kind of shit that pretty much no one wants to see (oronaru and such....) Crackship(s): gaara x funk BROTP: after the last anime episodes? kank and lee tbh, tho I’m always here for all the konoha girls (+temari) just being one big girl gang (hey kishi doesnt care about them so they gotta care for each other) OT3: nah Crossover Ship: nah Do you have any headcanons: you can’t just ask me that and expect me to sum up 7 years worth of headcanons in one paragraph. 

Are you happy with the ending? What would you have done differently? sort of? I feel like what we did see wasn’t exactly bad, but there were a lot of other things they could have focused on that would have been way more interesting. personally I would have preferred it ending with naruto becoming hokage, entering his office and immediately realizing that he can’t do the job cause he never learned how to use a computer. 

How do you feel about the new generation? eh, other than the great injustice that is sakura’s entire life I don’t have anything against it, but there isn’t really anything about it that I like enough to bother paying attention. 

Say something about your favourite character. Good and bad: like 90% of the text posts on this blog are already me talking about kankuro so I’ll keep it short: I like that he somehow manages to be weird and different in a cast full of characters who can spit fire and summon giant slugs. everytime he’s appeared we’ve learned something new about him and tho its always unexpected it never seems too ooc. 

What would a child between your OTP look like? I’m not into shipping.

Say something genuinely nice about your NoTP. I’m not into shipping. 

Say something negative about your OTP.  I’m not into shipping.

Is there any way you could be convinced to ship your NoTP? I’m not into shipping.

What makes you mad about the series? even though naruto will always have a special place in my heart its far from flawless. there’s some pretty bad writing and inconsistencies that can be...pretty annoying. I guess my main beef with naruto is the treatment of the female characters. I’m happy that naruto isn’t as fanservice-y as a lot of anime can be, but that doesn’t change the fact that few of the female characters have more than 2-3 personality traits. what bugs me the most tho is kishimoto’s utter inability to involve the female characters in the plot and actually make them seem powerful and useful. yes he tried to push that angle with sakura towards the end of the war, but it kinda fell flat because there was almost no build up and in the end the pay off was that she....still seemed weaker than naruto. speaking of the war, I spent the last 100 chapters or so watching tenten hang around and waiting for her to be useful only to get...what? she stole some weapons after the fighting was over? thats it? yes those are only two examples, but honestly I can think of very few fights with a female shinobi that didn’t end with a) the female shinobi losing/being absolutely useless b) the female shinobi getting help or her victory being downplayed c) her straight up dying. also I guess the gender ratio in the naruto world is like 70-30 because apparently there are so few girls around that they’re limited to only one girl per team. 

If you could see anything happen in the series, what would it be? way more sand siblings, obviously. tho specifically I’d like for them to have more positive interactions with temari, kishi is really fond of the bossy girl trope. 

What would you say to Kishimoto if given the chance? why.

[greygamer]

TP Countdown Day 22: May The Giant Be With You

We Holy cow, I’m not sure where to start. I had forgotten just how good this episode was, and it is very good. Part of the reason for that, I suspect, is that we get Mr. Lynch behind the camera again, which you can tell almost immediately. When Lynch is running the show, things have a tendency to slow right down. Scenes are given the opportunity to breathe. Actors take their time with their lines. They’re allowed to really live in the moment.

And they get a lot of time to do that in this double-length episode. And Lynch takes great advantage of that.

Something else that’s a sure sign that Lynch is behind the camera is the way that the darkness of Twin Peaks, which is usually left hovering at the edges, gets a chance to drift further towards the center. Even scenes that should be completely innocuous get an edge of tension.

Take, for example, the beginning of this episode.

We pick up immediately from where we left things -- Agent Cooper is laying on the floor having just been shot. He was wearing his bullet proof vest, so two of the bullets have been deflected, BUT he had rolled the vest up to try to find a wood tick that had been crawling on him, leaving a vulnerable spot for that third slug.

Coop is soon visited by a 100 year old room service waiter who brings him his warm milk, helpfully hangs up Coop’s phone which is still connected to Deputy Andy, and also helpfully doesn’t phone for an ambulance or anything else. The old waiter does give Coop a friendly thumbs up a few times, so that’s nice. It also takes about five minutes for all this to play out, as this elderly waiter shuffles from here to there, exits and re-enters, smiles, and advises Coop that his milk will get cool if he doesn’t drink it soon.

Coop is later visited by what appears to be a vision of a giant. The giant tells him three things, then takes Coop’s ring and explains that it will be returned to him once those three things have come true. The things are.

1. There is a man in a smiling bag.

2. The owls are not what they seem.

3. Without chemicals he points.

This, on first glance, appears to make as much sense as Cooper’s dream way back in the third episode, and that’s probably not a coincidence, because Lynch directed that episode too.

It only takes a short time for the first of the giant’s statements to prove true. After Coop gets patched up at the hospital (Doc Hayward removes a bullet complete with a squashed a wood tick) and getting the low-down from Lucy on what’s happened since he was shot (which also gives the low-down to anyone just joining us at the start of the second season), Coop sees Jacques Renault being carted away in a body bag -- the smiling bag of Cooper’s vision.

It’s not all visions and smiles, though, as this episode has to dance its way through all the cliff-hangers set up at the end of last season. Catherine and Josie are both missing following the fire at the mill, though Pete and Shelly both survived their run-ins with the blaze. Leo is in a coma after being shot by Hank. And Audrey -- poor Audrey! -- who I think I forgot to mention in the last recap, is trapped in One Eyed Jacks, having only just avoided a sexual tryst with the owner of the place, specifically, her father. And if you can think of a more awkward family meet up than that, I’d sure like to hear it.

But this is a new season, and that means we can’t just focus on the old storylines, we’ve got get some new ones rolling too. Donna gets her hands on Laura’s old sunglasses and instantly turns into a bad girl, which is kind of hot (full disclosure, Donna was my show crush when I first watched in 1990, but looking back on it now, it’s clear that Audrey was substantially hotter). Donna also gets a note to check out the Meals on Wheels that Laura used to do, so she signs up to take over Laura’s route, hoping to find some more clues into Laura’s murder.

Meanwhile, Leland seems to be doing much better after murdering Jacques, except for the fact that his hair has turned completely white over night. Also in the Palmer household, Maddie has a vision of what seems to be a massive blood stain on the living room carpet. That sure can’t be a good sign.

But maybe the most important revelation this episode is that of a third man at Leo’s cabin. In a scene where Cooper breaks down the case for the rest of the investigators -- another great moment to bring newcomers up to speed -- he explains that there was a third man apart from Leo and Jacques at the cabin who took Laura and Ronette to the train car to murder them. That means that after building towards the apparent resolution at the end of the first season that Leo must have been the killer, we learn that, in fact, no, he wasn’t, and the mystery continues.

Oh, Laura, will we ever learn who murdered you?

Yes. The answer is yes. We kind of find out at the episode’s close -- it appears to be Killer BOB. As Ronette wakes up, we get the chance to catch a few flashes of her memory of Laura’s death. And holy shit, those flashes. Laura with blood running down her face, either grinning  or gnashing her teeth; BOB attacking; Laura screaming; BOB screaming. It’s all pretty goddamn terrifying, and is probably the darkest sequence that show has put on TV yet. Oh, also, it’s goddamn stunning.

So now we know Killer BOB is the culprit. But we don’t know exactly who Killer BOB is. Shoe salesman Mike returns this episode to sell Truman some shoes, though, so maybe he’ll have something to offer?

“The owls are not what they seem”

I want to take a second here and talk about owls.

There are things that I remember about this show, and things that I don’t. For example, I remember how the giant’s prediction that “Without chemicals he points,” plays out. But I don’t remember how “The owls are not what they seem,” does.

But I wanted to make mention of something i read about years after watching Twin Peaks that I thought might have been loosely connected. Not in an exact literal way, but in a weird, Lynchian, tangential way. And that is that owls may have something to do with alien abductions.

I’m not sure where I read it -- it might have been in Communion, Whitley Streiber’s supposedly true account of his abduction by aliens, but apparently many people who claim to have been abducted also have “cover memories” that are implanted to cover the time during which they were in the alien’s custody. And, strangely enough, those covering memories often include owls.

I’m not sure why, that’s just how it goes.

Now I’m not suggesting that Killer BOB and the little man from another place are aliens, because that would be too on the nose and not very Lyncian at all. But I do wonder whether the prevalence of owls in the show might have come from this notion, that perhaps the owls could signify someone passing into the Black Lodge, or some other kind of thing.

On the other hand, is I think Sigmund Freud once famously said, “Sometimes an owl is just an owl.”