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caruliaa · 2 years
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staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%
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grace image os i get to look at her
#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the#first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post#for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !!#bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny#EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically#also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am#anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things#also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode#i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep#and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves#also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc#id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever#it wld b fun !!!#oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically#a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday#ya !! :3#flappy rambles#inaccessible#ask to tag#(<- idk. just in case)
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teaweltzer · 5 days
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Pulled from some suggestions on Twitter! of course this doesn't touch a fraction of the suggestions, but I tried to make a variety!
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yourangle-yuordevil · 9 months
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Aziraphale invited him in a discreet gentlemen's club in Portland Place 💃
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garfhater2000 · 1 year
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everyday is yuri thursday when im with you killua
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I should have been a dyke
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moonystoes · 3 months
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Wrong Number - Elisa De Almeida
Summary: When Elisa sends a picture to the girl she was flirting with at the club...except it wasn't the right number.
Warning: ...there is a picture here loll.
A/n: I'm so sorry but this is by far the worst fic I've written, I've tried to do something new and I'm not so confident about it. I still wanted you guys to read it and all the support from the anonymous asks helped me a lot. Thank you!
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This picture is NOT Elisa, it is from @/torinha___ on instagram
The loud music was almost making Elisa dizzy. She gave a small nod to Jackie, pointing to the club seats and tip toeing there to make sure she won't bump into anyone. Elisa didn't want to admit it, but she knew she drank too much than she should've. The squad decided to go and celebrate their win against bayern Munich at a fancy bar in the south of Paris, but they completely forgot about their early afternoon training the next day.
Sakina was the only sober one, restricting alcohol from her diet because of her faith. And even if Islam permitted drinking, she'd still refuse. She loves being in control and aware of her surrounding environments, and if she gets drunk she'd lose all of the power.
Elisa awkwardly bumped into Sakina's shoulder, giving her a soft wave before settling down next to her, "oh my God we are so done for tomorrow, he will kill us."
"He will kill you, not us," she reminded Elisa, "it's okay, just stop drinking or else you'll make tomorrow worse."
"Yeah thanks Saki," Elisa gave Sakina a weak thumbs up as she twisted her body to the table, "I'll just drink water from now on."
Sakina patted Elisa's back as she turned to glance at the other girls. She hates the smell of sweat and drinks, but she loves hanging out with the girls. She can see Jackie and Eva dancing, as well as Clare twirling around... obviously too drunk to even care about how crazy she looks.
When she turned to her left, she noticed a woman staring at Elisa. She wasn't sure if she should let Elisa know about it, or just stay quiet and see if the woman will do anything. But she saw her take quick steps towards the both of them, and that caused Sakina to panic and turn the other way.
"Hey," a sultry voice hit Elisa's ear, feeling a hand squeeze her shoulder. She turned around to see who it was, and she was stunned for a minute by the beauty of the woman.
It's been a while since Elisa had gotten the attention of a girl that way. Even though she's been getting popular on social media, it feels as though her dating life has disappeared. Her last relationship ended because of the distance (her moving from montpellier to psg), and even that relationship was short anyways and ended awfully.
And when she tried dating apps, it seems as though her dates never work. Awkwardness fills both sides, and they ultimately end up ghosting each other. For a second, she tried convincing herself that it's for the best...so she can focus on football only. But now she is getting a little humiliated by all of this. Even her teammates make jokes about it (Eva laughed after Elisa opened up about her dating history, then proceeded to say she has '0 rizz').
She glanced back to the glass of water in front of her, then back to the woman in front of her. Maybe she should try this one more time, it won't hurt anyone...besides, everyone is drunk and if she embarrassed herself she'd probably forget about it anyways.
"Hey sweetheart," she smiled back, as she chugged the cold water, hoping it will make her sound less drunk than she is.
But when she glanced back at the stranger, she noticed her face was in complete shock, "oh my God, you're a girl?!"
"Haha...yeah, does that bother you?" Elisa gets this a lot in situations like this. In pure daylight, it's obvious she's just a masculine woman. But in dark clubs filled with drunk people, some visions get blurred. She just hoped that the women that try and flirt with her are actually attracted to women.
"Oh...no it doesn't," she gave a soft smile, her hand softly moving from Elisa's shoulder to the nape of her neck, delicately squeezing the tough muscle in there, "I just didn't know you were a girl and your voice caught me off guard."
Sakina was glaring at the stranger, having to see Elisa fall into the same trap everytime. She knew Elisa was desperate for some love (she does get laid apparently...well, that's what she tells Sakina), and this causes her to end up being in sticky situations with many straight women.
"My name is Sophie by the way," she raised her little champagne cup to Elisa, stepping closer to her to the point where her body was between Elisa's legs.
"Hey Sophie, I'm Elisa," She grinned at her with a wink, she lifted her right hand and placed it on Sophie's waist, "no work tomorrow?"
"Ew don't bring work here I'm trying to escape it," she fake gagged, placing the champagne glass on the table and placing her other hand on Elisa's thigh.
Usually, Elisa would freak out by the amount of physical touches she's getting. Especially by someone who she met not even a minute ago, but Sophie was an attractive woman...and that made her lose all the self respect she had and allowed her to do whatever she wants to her body.
She giggled at what she said, "Yeah me too."
"Your muscles are great, I've never seen a woman like that before," Sophie looked down as she tapped Elisa's tough quads, making sure that they're real.
Yeah because you haven't seen women in the first place,
Sakina thought as her blood started boiling, maybe she was being too much. Maybe Sophie was actually not straight and Sakina had been a bitch this whole time. But it doesn't matter, what matters is that Elisa is definitely too drunk to actually thinking appropriately.
"Yeah?" Elisa smirked at Sophie, she lifted up her sleeve and flexed her bicep, looking at Sophie's dropped jaw.
"Oh wow, that's the hottest thing I've ever seen."
Elisa burst out laughing, she knew if she can continue with the flirting she can possibly end up in a bedroom. The way Sophie was approaching her was definitely strange, but she did love the attention. And anyone who compliments her hard work in the gym makes her feel confident and cocky.
Sakina was grabbing her head with both of her hands, she wanted to pull Sophie away and drag Elisa home. She glanced up to check up on Jackie, Eva, and Clare. And she saw them cleaning up the little table they were using.
Alhumdulillah, Sakina thanked god realizing that she will be driving them home now.
"Psst, Elisa we're going now." She tapped Elisa on the shoulder, making sure she won't touch Sophie's clingy hand.
Elisa glanced back to Sophie with an evident pout, "sorry, I gotta go...can I get your number? we can finish the conversation there."
Her hand kept delicately squeezing Sophie's waist, waiting for a response from her. Sexting wasn't something she did, but she had some experience with from the long distance relationship that didn't last 2 months.
Sophia stood there slightly speechless, contemplating whether she should actually give out her phone number to Elisa, or run away from this embarrassing day.
"Okay, give me your phone and I'll type it."
Unknown Number
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This is how it looked under the shirt 😉
You huffed as you stared at the 11:59 on your computer screen. Working is always exhausting, but the paycheck makes it enjoyable. Your eyes were slightly burning from staying on the computer for too long, and it makes you feel way older than you knew you are. You were hoping time would move quickly so you can start your lunch, but a sudden ding came from your phone.
You glanced at Jasmine, your coworker, as she gave you a shrug, "check your phone, I don't think anyone will care. I mean lunch is gonna start in 29 seconds...no 28...no actually 27."
You sighed as you pulled your phone out from your purse, but froze when you saw a notification from an unknown number. You rarely get these texts, especially after the cybersecurity course you took that left you traumatized. But something from this made you curious, for sure now as an adult you can think maturely when texting strangers. Maybe it's an important message or someone who needs help.
You pressed on the notification, and gasped. Turning off off your phone, you stared back at computer screen, moving the mouse around making sure you finish your job.
"Damn you really wanna finish all 60 seconds. 16...15...14." Jasmine laughed at your nonchalant face.
You frustratingly pulled you phone back, reading the texts again. You are an adult now! You can tell them off. What if they're a hacker and they'll get into your personal data and leak all of your pictures? You glanced back at the picture as your face flushed, damn even if it's gross and weird to send strangers pictures like this...you were guilty for finding whoever this person may be attractive.
Maybe they accidentally sent it to the wrong number,
??
This is Elisa from the club last night haha
Elisa? That's a girl name right? You closed your eyes, now you're definitely guilty for finding her attractive. You were so single that a nude picture from a random masculine woman is making your face turn red. You looked back at the picture, not knowing how to respond.
Wrong number
I didn't go to a club last night
Sorry x
I'm pretty sure the person would've loved that picture though
Seen 4 minutes ago
Elisa screeched as she saw those texts, throwing the phone away in the locker room. Sakina turned around horrified from the scream, "Eli, what's wrong!"
"Saki kill me," she dropped her face into her hands as she lightly sobbed. Her right leg was twitching up and down as she sat down on one of the locker room seats.
Sakina placed her hair brush in her locker as she sighed from Elisa's dramatic behavior, "oh come on...what did you do?" But when she turned to look at Elisa, her dameanor turned serious. Elisa's face was bright red, eyes filled with tears and eyebrows furrowed.
She stepped towards Elisa worriedly, looking at Elisa's phone laying on the ground. She walked towards her phone, trying to see what even happened.
"No!" Elisa jumped up and grabbed her phone, hiding it into her chest, "Saki I made a stupid mistake."
"You're scaring me, just tell me what you did." Sakin came closer to Elisa, pushing her back into sitting.
"Do you remember Sophie from yesterday?" Elisa guiltily looked down as she whispered to Sakina.
Sakina rolled her eyes, "yes...I do remember her."
Elisa sighed again, this time in frustration and humiliation, "well...I guess she gave me a fake number," she looked back at Sakina's angry face, but right when she was about to response, Elisa interrupted her, "Sakina I sent a naked picture to some random girl...or worse, fuck that could be a man!"
Sakina's jaw dropped to the ground as she heard what Elisa did, but Elisa interrupted her again, "please don't lecture me about it. I know, I swear I know."
She gave Elisa a tight smile, pulling her in a hug to comfort her, "it could be a girl, and she could be cute and sweet and would actually like you. Maybe God made this a chance for you to find your one."
Elisa took a deep breath, trying to calm down her beating heart. It's not the end of the world, she can just block that number and pretend this never happened, or she could try and talk to the stranger. Maybe sakina was right, "Yeah...you're right. I should put my trust on God for this one, and if it was a 60 year old man I will blame it on him."
Sakina slapped Elisa's shoulder sarcastically, "actually you're the one who decided to send a nude picture to a random person...maybe you're the one to blame here," Elisa covered her face again with her hands, raising her face to the sky as she was mumbling some prayer, "Besides...can I see what you sent her?" Sakina winked as she tried to take Elisa's phone, now placed between Elisa's thighs.
Elisa opened her phone and showed her the texts, but Sakina's loud laughter made her shut it down and turn away from her, "God you're so bad at texting...what type of opening is that? I think she's a girl, a guy won't text that way right?"
Elisa shrugged, opening her phone again and tapping on the chat to text. It could be a girl right? It has to be, or else she will kill herself and disappear.
What if she's a fan and leaks the picture? A thousand thoughts were in her mind, so she decided to just text the stranger a small apology.
Omg
I'm so sorry
I should've sent a message first
I'm gonna kill myself 😭😭
Haha, no it's okay!
At least it's not a 😼 picture
And you have a great back!
That's a girl... definitely, right? Elisa blushed at the compliment, hiding her face away from Sakina not wanting another lecture.
Thanks
Sorry for bothering you I'm pretty sure you didn't want to see this on a Tuesday afternoon
I'm just glad it's lunch break now
Also sorry about the whole wrong number thing I'm pretty sure you're bummed about it
Yeah I thought we were getting along pretty well
I'm just confused on why she gave me a wrong number
She was the one who approached me
:((( well at least you made my lunch break better
Oh yeah?
I'm glad
Wait you're working right? Not a student 💀💀
Lollll yeah I'm 25
What about u?
26
What kind of work do you do?
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My desk :((
I'm a financial analyst
That sounds way fancier than it it I swear
Seen a minute ago
"Elisa what are you smiling about?" Sakina turned around suspiciously, now her hair braided.
"Oh nothing," she shrugged sakina off, turning away so Sakina can't see her face. But she sighed loudly, realizing that she needed Sakina's advice, "she's definitely a girl. And around my age, that's good, right?"
Before Sakina could leave the locker room, she stood at the door and softly said, "be safe Elisa...and no more nude pics to her, please."
Elisa huffed out in embarrassment and nodded, glancing back at her phone to text you back.
Oh wow we're sending pics now?
Why is it sad 😔
Babe you already did send pics
I tried decorating it but I gave up in a day
Oh yeah
Haha
Sorry again
Can I get a face pic :)
Only if you do
No way
Why not ☹️☹️
Cuz I just started texting you
But why do I have to
Ma'am you just sent me a picture of your bare back
I promise a face picture is nothing compared to that
😭😭😭
Ohh god
you're never gonna forget that
You don't have to
I just wanna match a face to the body ;)
"Fuck." Elisa whispered, you were good at convincing and she knew that if you asked her for another nude picture her nïave self would have sent one again.
She looked up to the sky and closed her eyes, "please don't make her some old man that's lying."
There was also a small feeling of anxiety in her, she knew that if things got awkward she can immediately block you and move on. But what if you recognize her? Would you leak that photo to the internet? She groaned out and responded, women's football isn't even that big anyways.
Okay
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Is this from today?
No yesterday
Seen 2 minutes ago
You bit your lip, turning your seat away from Jasmine not ready for the questionnaire she'll make if she sees you like this.
Elisa is beautiful. No...she's hot and sexy and all of those words combined. You slowly faced Jasmine again, "Hey Jasmine... I need an advice."
Jasmine stopped drinking her hot tea as she glimpsed at you, "what for?"
You whined loudly as you threw your phone towards her, "this unknown number sent me a message accidentally, but turns out she's a hot girl."
Jasmine choked on her drink when she saw the selfie Elisa sent, "Oh my God! Oh my God y/n, do not fuck this up!"
You stared at her stunned, "so...you're not worried about how unsafe this is?"
Jasmine zoned out to think, but she glanced back at you, "well...don't give her personal information, and try to find more about her," she returned your phone back to you, "Ugh...smash. I can't believe how lucky you got...wait! You can put her picture on pinterest or Google search and it will tell you if she's catfishing you!"
You turned to look at the picture on your phone again, you knew Jasmine was right about that hack. But you didn't want to keep Elisa waiting. For some reason, there is a feeling in you that this isn't some random person catfishing...that Elisa is real.
You look really tan here
And cute
Elisa let out a small giggle at the cute comment. What if she means cute as in a friendly way, not attractive cute? Ughhhh everything is frustrating!
I get tan a lot for my job
And sweaty
Oh?
Why am I getting worried 😭
What do you mean sweaty
I will support you no matter what elisa
You're so dirty minded
I'm just an athlete
That's it
So naughty
Seen 2 minutes ago
"Ugh!" You shut your phone off and placed your head on your desk exhaustedly, "she said 'so naughty'... that's awful."
Jasmine cackled loudly at what you said, "if it was a guy it would be cringe. But it's not, so it's hot."
--
Elisa sent that message while standing on her tippy toes. She knew that her flirting skills are below average. She was staring at the screen hoping for a small message, but Eva came into the room making Elisa freak out and throw her phone in the locker.
"Hey Elisa, everything okay?" She worriedly glanced at her as she brought out her phone, "I'm gonna go and film a tiktok with Jackie. You should go to the gym room or else you'd get in trouble."
Elisa stopped 'adjusting' her hair in the mirror and nodded to Eva, "oh yeah... I go there in a minute."
Eva laughed at Elisa's accent and tapped her shoulder as she left the room. Elisa closed her eyes and took a deep breath, until she heard a small ding from her phone.
Sorry lunch break is over
You're the one who sent me a nude pic
OH MY GOD PLEASE STOP
I have to go training now anyways
Talk to you later
Stranger
Bye bye Elisa
Have fun xx
It was 3 pm when you waved goodbye to your coworkers, exhausted and ready to go home. You were thinking about Elisa, you knew you had to quick search that picture to make sure you weren't getting fooled.
Once you reached your little studio apartment, throwing your bag on your couch and laying there. You weren't expecting anything when you went on pinterest and placed her selfie on quick search. But to your surprise, the same selfie was on there too.
You instantly sat up on your couch, no way... I'm actually getting catfished. You tapped on the post and saw the name 'Elisa de Almeida' as the caption.
Is that her full name?
Guilt was consuming your heart, you felt as though you were 'cheating' for searching her name on Google instead of just asking her.
Whatever, you'll search later. You will just text her and get to know her that way.
You do training for what?
You turned off your phone and went to the kitchen to make a quick lunch meal, not expecting her to respond quickly. But your phone's notification was heard, and you ran to the couch to grab it. Damn, she texts fast.
For my job
What's your job :(
I told you mine
I play football
And get paid for that
Elisa was on her couch when she heard a new message from you. She had been waiting for you to start the conversation, since she had no idea on how to text women.
When she saw the question, she frowned. She doesn't like to introduce her job to people no matter how much she's proud of herself for becoming pro. But she didn't want to lie, and maybe you wouldn't tease her or get overwhelmed and leave her.
Wait professionally??
That's so cool
Yeah
Thanks
I know your number is French but I know that players travel around
Where do you stay
Paris
I'm in my apartment right now
I can't believe you just play football like????
So if I search your picture online I can see what team you're in?
Yes but I'd rather me say it
Oh...too late I'm sorry 💔
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Seen 2 minutes ago
Elisa jumped up, fucking hell!
She stared at the black screen of her TV, are you going to be weirded out by her fans? Would that make you leave?
Elisa?
I'm sorry if I broke your privacy for this
My apologies xx
You huffed out a heavy breath, Damn it! You should've talked to her instead of doing this. Now she's probably uncomfortable with you because of this.
No it's okay
I just didn't know people can do that
Yeah haha
This is pinterest
And you can do that on Google too
That's how I know the names of the weird plants around my building
I'm really sorry if it made you weird
It's okay I guess I just wanted to lie to you and joke about my career but I forgot I'm kinda famous
Oh wowww
Were you going to lie that you're the female Messi or what
Wait if that picture was from yesterday, your fans are quick 😭
I actually prefer Ronaldo
Yeah sometimes they scare me
Ew not him
What type of fans do you have
The thirsty kind
They're nice and make cool edits of me
Sometimes violate my personal space but that's what you get when you're in public ig
Ohh I'm so sorry
Omg i just realized how scary it would've been if I were one of your fangirls and you sent me that nude pic 😭😭😭
Lolll 😂😂
I was freaking out for a while when I found out you weren't the girl
Aren't you happy that you found me though 😁😁
I am
You're pretty cute
Even when you refuse to show me how you look
Elisa :(((
I can't do it just yet
I know
I understand that
Where do you live
That's not a safe question to ask 🤨🤨
I live in Paris too
Just the unknown quiet side
That's cute
Pretty chill and tourists don't bother you
Do you live in a fancy apartment or with your family
A studio apartment
Gotta save my money to spoil my future wife
Wife?
Are you gay?
Elisa please if I weren't gay I would've blocked you and moved on with life
Elisa smiled brightly when she read your message, does that mean you're interested in her?
Good
Because I'm gay
I don't think it's hard to figure that out
But I'm glad you're comfortable with me knowing about it
It's easier when it's texting
It would've been harder in real life
I think if I saw you in real life I would scream GAY
Oh wow
I would've done the same thing
Nuh uh
Yuh uh
I would've also asked you out
If I wouldn't be shaking from anxiety
Really?
Am I your type
YES??
I don't think you understand the panic I had in my office when you sent me the pic of your face
Good
Now I wanna see you
Elisa stop
Sorry
No I'm sorry
I can send you a picture of my face
But
I need abs selfie
??
Hmm...I'm conflicted
I'm just kidding
Unless
Hmm
I wanna see you so bad
Okay calm down
Don't put your hand under your panties
HUH
Do you wanna meet up
That's kinda unsafe
I could be a catfisher
But are you though?
I can't believe a catfisher can text like this 🙈🙈
😭😭😭
You're so cute
And now that you mentioned us meeting
It makes texting you even harder
I'm on my bed now
Oh??
Do you need help with something?
...
Depends on what you can offer
Chocolate 🍫
Oh I was expecting something else
But I'd take it
I'm gonna sleep
Good night
Stranger
Good night Elisa
Dream of me
X
Elisa stared at the message you sent with a smirk on her face. It's been scary how fast the pace of your conversations is, but she was happy. It meant that the both of you guys are comfortable texting each other. She shut the phone off and stuffed her face into the pillow, dreaming of the one and only...'stranger'.
It's been a week and I still don't know your name
Xoxo gossip girl
Actually
I never watched that show
Please 🥺🥺🥺
You've seen my bare back and face
And locker room
And my TV
And the gym
Toes
You basically have seen everything
Maam
I was just gonna say it
It's y/n
I wanna see you 😔
You basically know my whole schedule
Yeah you're gonna go buy groceries today
Stop stalking me 😟😟
You don't have training today
You have a match
Turn off the phone and get ready
It's just 12pm??
The match is at 7
When do you have to get ready
We have to be there around 5
We're gonna be wearing suits today 🕴🕴
OMG
Show me to me rachel
Send it to me pleaseee
What
Who the fuck is rachel
Idk if I'll be free and send you a pic
Usually I turn off my phone before
It's a tiktok trend
Oldie
Ohh
I prefer instagram
Are you liking other women posts while texting me???
Whore
Give me your Instagram account and I'll like every post 😘😘
No don't say that I have pictures from when I was 14 there
Oh nvm maybe not every post
Wait why do you have posts from back then 😭😭
Your account sounds like a mess
Because I looked cunty in the pictures?? Besides my account is private and I have like 60 followers only
What about you?
What about me?
How was younger you?
I don't wanna talk about younger me
Nooooo
Please
I'm pretty sure you looked so cute 🥺🥺
Wait some of your fangirls probably have pictures
Ughh
Fine
Go and look on pinterest or whatever
if you don't want me to know it's okay
i was joking xx
no me too
its okay
you've seen my back i dont think baby me is that bad
go ahead
your back is not bad what are you talking about ;)
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THATS YOU?
stopp you looked so cute
OMG
No
Not this
Omg in my defense my ex gf at the time thought I was hot here
Pleasee I probably would be blushing too if I were her look at you 🥺🥺
YOU HAD A GF AT THAT AGE??
Yeah young love
She was in france for the summer
Like two weeks only and she was brazilian so my dad liked her
...your dad?
Ohhh
Wait that sounded wrong
She used to speak with my dad portuguese and he is from portugal
Ohhhh
So he wanted her to teach u?
Yeah but we were busy doing other things
Ew
Stop talking about your ex im gonna get jealous
Im joking
I was too scared to do anything like that
Well actually i did have my first kiss with her
But it was mostly really shy awkward football dates
Elisa im gonna block you shut the fuck up
Wow
What about you
Young love?
I had my first relationship when i was 20 💀
And she CHEATED
Ugh the audacity
Awhh
What awh
You think me getting cheated on is cute
Okay whore
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Omg no please no more baby pics
But you looked cute :(((
Baby eli
seen 4 hours ago
Elisa scratched her chin as she eyed Constance, hoping she would start a conversation, "what's wrong? Eli please..." Constance giggled as she saw Elisa's face.
"Awh thank you for asking I was questioning our friendship for a second," Elisa joked, smacking picaud's shoulder, "do you remember the girl from the club?"
"the straight one?" Picaud questioned as she buttoned the suit, trying her best to look presentable.
"the straigh- she was not straight." Elisa froze, looking at picaud's reflection in the mirror.
"Bitch please even Sakina, the straightest girl I know, noticed that," She tapped Elisa's shoulder to comfort her as she cackled.
Elisa felt blood running to her cheeks, was she that drunk not to notice? Maybe that's why she gave you the wrong number. Elisa felt deep embarrassment for not realizing sooner.
"Anyways... I'm sorry about it. What were you going to say?" She starting applying gel to her roots.
"Ugh... you're going to laugh at me even more now," Elisa rolled her eyes and contiuned buttoning her dress shirt, completely ignorning the concerning glance Constance is giving her, "Okay fine! She gave me a wrong number... and I accidentally... well not accidentally, I actually meant it...sent her a nude picture. A picture of my back, and it was another girl that's gay and around our age and she also lives here in Paris. Anyways, I just want to ask her out but I keep sounding like a cat in heat on how desperate I am and i don't want to scare her."
Constance jaw was on ground listening to Elisa's ramble, "Wait what?! Elisa are you out of your mind? Why the fuck did you send a random number a picture of your back?" She dropped her arms to her sides as she gave Elisa a disappointed look. Elisa turned the other way so Picaud doesn't look at her red face, "Oh my god are you hiding from me? Look at least she's a gay girl around your age...that's good, right?"
Elisa didn't respond for a second, "Ugh everyone keeps yelling and laughing at me for what I did...but I swear she's really cute."
Pauline took a step towards Elisa and gave her a tight hug, "Can I see how she looks?"
"I don't know how she looks." Elisa shut her eyes tightly, preparing herself for the 5th lecture of this whole situation.
It was a minute of silence in the bathroom stalls, Picaud thinking of a kind and non-hurtful way to call Elisa stupid while Elisa was thinking of a way to allow you to meet her.
"Elisa you're the master of how to get catfished 101," She groaned out, pulling away from the hug to look at Elisa, "but...I'm not 100% against it. I think you should just continue letting her expose things about her. Write on your notes everything she says about her personal information and read over it...if things don't match then block her and move on."
Elisa quietly thanked God, no more yelling and shouting at her face. She nodded eagerly at what Picaud said and immediately left the bathrooms. She has to stop being distracted, there is a match happening today and you were the only thing she was thinking about.
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That's it??
I wanted to see your face :((
Sorry I have to go now
Love you
I know you're busy
Good luck
Seen 3 hours ago
The players hugged each other, too tired to speak up after the tiresome match. The team won 2 - 0 against Paris fc at parc de princes, and even with the win they knew their performance wasn't the best. It was Chawinga that scored those two, and the rest of the team was lacking a lot chemistry and communication.
Elisa tried her best, but the memory of her losing the ball to the opposing striker keeps haunting her. She knew that Twitter is definitely going to be grilling her for it, and she had made a promise to herself that searching her name on Twitter is not allowed for her mental health.
She remembered you and smiled, at least now she can text you all night without the stress of a match in her head.
Glancing around the stadium, she saw many teenage girls screaming and waving at her to try and get her attention. She gave them a soft smile and waved back, making them scream even louder. Ugh I wish I can get y/n's attention like this.
Hey
The match just finished
I'm sweaty and everyone else is screaming and singing but I wanted to text you
I know
I'm proud of you
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I watched you play in front of me and I don't think I've been more proud and attracted to anyone before
Wait
YOURE HERE
Pleaer dobr leave
Please do t
Dnt
Slmt
DONT
😭😭😭
Im staying here baby I'm not going anywhere
I'm going out of the locker room
Where are you
Which section
I'm waving
Wearing a white jacket
Wait why am I looking at a bald man with a white jacket and waving 😟😟
WAIT I SEE HIM
Turn around
Seen
Elisa turned around and had eye contact with you, maintaining it for maybe too long for your comfort. She wanted to make sure it was you, pointing at her phone as she gave you a questioning glance.
Understanding her gesture, you looked down and sent her a message,
that's me :)
Elisa you're scaring me
that's why I didn't send you a picture of my face in the beginning
y/n
Can you come down
ok
The stadium was already empty, having only the ball kids and the cleaners going around and collecting things. You started taking steps down the stairs, getting closer to Elisa as she was standing right on the edge.
"Hey! You're not allowed to get closer!" A security barged near you and placed his palm in your chest, trying to stop you from getting closer to Elisa.
"She's mine, you can leave her." Elisa placed her foot on one of the advertising boards, ready to jump and pull you away from him.
"She doesn't have the right pass, miss." He pushed you backwards, even when you were frozen in place in the first place.
"I don't fucking care what pass she has, I already told you she's mine!" Elisa was fed up with the security man, it's been a long day and having you right in front of her was exactly what she needed, and she won't allow anyone to stop it.
He turned to look at Elisa's angry face, gaving her a timid nod before removing his arm from your front torso.
She sighed as she signalled for you to get closer, "sorry, I'm not usually like this."
"Hey..." You shyly gave her a soft wave, almost like it's the first time you guys have talked.
"Hi," she waved back with a lopsided smile, she couldn't believe that you were hiding this from her, "I don't understand why you didn't want me to know how you look when you look like this."
You jokingly slapped her shoulder away, biting your lip in embarrassment.
"No, seriously!" Elisa had a wide grin, suddenly the win they had today didn't matter. It was you that made her happy. She placed her hands on your cheeks, pulling you in so that your foreheads are touching.
"You played so good, Eli," you whispered to her, you knew looking at her eyes will make you melt into the ground, so you kept your eyes down at her lips, "I'm proud of you."
"Thank you, I don't think people on the internet are going to agree though," You wrapped your arms around her broad shoulders to pull her more into you. It was slightly harder because of the board between you, but you managed through.
Elisa pulled away from your hug and bent down, making you confused on what she was trying to do. She placed both of her arms around your waist and carried you, turning around to the other side so you can both hug without anything seperating you.
"I don't care what they say on twitter, I am José Mourinho and I think you're a fast, strong, and a hot player," you spoke in a deep voice pointed your finger at her, making her laugh as she pulled you in again in a tight hug.
"Let me take you out," she murmured under your ear, "I need to take you on a date."
Your face was a blushing mess, it was hard to say no to her. Even when she looked attractive on the selfies, seeing her in real life was something else, "I want to go out with you too, but we're going too fast. We've only been texting for one week."
"Everything was going fast when I started our conversation with that picture, I think we will be fine." Elisa hoped she didn't sound desperate, but she cannot let you go, she will never forgive herself.
You laughed at what she said, placing your hands on her back to feel the muscles from the picture, "okay, let's go somewhere,"
She pulled away slightly to look at your face with a pink blush around her face. Bending down, she gave your right cheek a kiss and hugged you again, "ugh I can't believe you're real!"
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dracula61 · 1 year
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trashywritestrash · 7 months
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Short and Sweet
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Reader
Word Count: 853
Warnings: Best friend’s brother— is that a warning? This is just a short lil thing for Valentine’s Day
A/N: The poem and response in this came from Thomas Richardson’s “Gentleman’s Valentine Writer” which wasn’t actually published until 1828 but I needed ideas, okay? Also, I wrote this when Bridgerton was still the lead in the poll lol
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Living beside the Bridgerton household had many advantages. Being close in age to Daphne gave you the perfect excuse to spend time with her. However, spending time with Daphne meant also spending time with the rest of her family, which allowed you to form a close bond with them all. One Bridgerton in particular being Benedict.
Benedict was a few years older than you, but within a perfectly reasonable range that made it acceptable for you to fancy him. How could you not? He was sweet and sensitive, but he had a playful side that brought joy any time you were fortunate enough to witness it. Although, you never dared to dream that Benedict might return your affections. You were the best friend of his younger sister, surely he would not think of you in that way.
Initially, you had been excited to be presented before the queen and sent out into society. But while Daphne had been deemed the season's incomparable, you had fallen into her shadow. You were happy to see your friend receive many visitors and gifts, but some days it would hurt to see a line of men outside her door while you waited in an empty sitting room.
Waking on Valentine's Day brought nothing but sorrow. It was only one month into the social season and you already felt that you were destined to become an old spinster. With no prospective husbands in sight, you would likely have to face a second season. You did not expect that you would receive any callers that day, yet you waited in your sitting room in a fine dress, as you did every other day. Your mother sat in a chair at the far end of the room, leisurely reading until something would happen.
Early into the day, your butler entered the room with a calling card in hand, "A Mister Bridgerton is here to call upon Miss Y/L/N."
"Send him in," You replied, feeling your chest constrict. It was possible that one of Daphne's brothers had come to pass along a message for her, but a gentleman visiting while you were accepting callers still brought you a shred of hope.
Moments later, you saw Benedict step through the doorway, holding something behind his back. He smiled, "I see I have gotten here before the rest."
You returned his smile, nervous, yet calmed by his presence. "I think you will find that the gentlemen are coming to your door today, not mine."
"Then they are fools and I am lucky to have you all to myself."
"What can I do for you, Benedict? I find it hard to believe you would be here as a suitor." You spoke the words in jest, but felt your throat tighten as you said them all the same.
Benedict's smile fell into confusion, "What is so hard to believe about that?"
Taken aback by the genuine confusion in his tone, you clarified, "I only mean to say that I would not have expected it."
"If that is the case, I hope that you find this to be a good surprise," For just a moment, you heard a bit of nerves in his voice as he tried to present a confident image. "Unfortunately, I cannot stay long. But I wanted to bring you these and to officially declare my affection."
Finally, Benedict moved the hand behind his back to reveal a beautiful bouquet of morning glory and myrtle. You smiled wide at the sight, "Thank you, Benedict. They're lovely."
Shortly after, Benedict had to take his leave, although he promised to come back the following day. Once he had left, you reached for a book on the language of flowers. You found that morning glories are used to represent affection, meanwhile myrtle is used to represent love and marriage. Learning that brought a blush to your cheeks, finding the meaning to be a little bold, but not unpleasant.
It was then that you noticed a small folded piece of parchment beside the flowers. When you unfolded the paper, you could see the painted design done in watercolors. A man and a woman stood beneath a tree, which was situated between a lovely cottage and a church. The image was small, but you could tell that the couple was you and Benedict. On the other side of the parchment was a simple note.
I boast not eloquence, dear Miss, Nor do I write exceedingly fine; Therefore, I bluntly ask you this-- Pray, will you be my Valentine?
As you looked down at the note, you felt your heart swell. You held it close to your chest, feeling as if you could burst from happiness at any moment. Your mother then looked up from her book. "What is that, dear?"
"It is nothing!" You responded quickly. Luckily, your mother did not push the issue further.
That night, you folded the note once more and placed it in the drawer of the nightstand beside your bed. As you attempted to fall asleep, all you could think of was that you could not wait to see Benedict again.
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chanrizard · 7 months
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crumb · 2 months
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SOMETHING CREEPING IN THE DARK 1971 | dir. Mario Colucci
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teaweltzer · 1 year
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I love Orym's family so much
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delta-bravo89 · 3 months
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Estranei di nuovo.
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randygrim · 3 months
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Was thinking abt how stretchmarks would work for worker drones, so here is a compilation of my thoughts
Also i figured out the circut stretchmarks below :3
What if the robotic tissue stuff is lined with circutry thats flexible, so when you get visible stretchmarks its because the outter rubber is stretched thin so you can see the circuts underneath
These circuts act as the nervous system and circulatory system.
The gpu would be in the head acting as eyes and visual cortex, the psu in the chest acting as a heart, the motherboard running down the back acting as a spine, multiple coolers throughout the body acting as sweat glands.
Most of the items i just listed are stored in the areas of the body we expect (mostly the torso) but i think that the brain analogues, cpu, storage, and ram, would also be stored in the torso. These cant be places in the limbs or head because we see the extremities being replaced without any issue.
Also cuz we see nori runnung around in her core willy nilly, im thinking that the psu, cpu, ram, and partial storage are all placed in the core.
Not all the storage cuz noris memory was partially fucked with after the collapse, while her core was intact. So some storage since core nori has at the very least a short term memory, but the main storage is in the torso outside the core since her long term memory got fucked.
Ummm thanks for reading my rambles! I think im done talking abt those specifics.
I mainly made this cuz im fat and have a connective tissue disorder, so i have LOTS of stretchmarks. And i wanted to see if i could figure out how to make them robot >:3.
Also i like thinking abt shit too much.
Also also, so much fuckin credit to @melissa-titanium for doing the V drawing. Its very very VERY awesome and was the reason i started thinkin abt this shit in the first place
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moonystoes · 3 months
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Who? - Elisa De Almeida x singer!reader
summary: when the public thinks y/n is dating a football player... a male player. Inspired by this
A/n: this shit made me wanna kms. i really thought social media au would be easier since it's not writing. but holy shit editing this was ass. also the fact that it took me around 10 hours yesterday only?? and 138 pictures. but lowkey... making fake beef and conversations was kinda fun lol.
warning: nothing, but this is the first time i made a social media au so it may be bad...and the quality of these screenshots are shit. also...I worked really hard editing the time of those screenshots (except the second one... i forgot) they will help you understand the timeline. I recommend reading this in white mode so the tweets can look smoother.
face claim :@itsouidad on instagram
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y/nl/n
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liked by ayanakamura_officiel, brahim, jackie_groenen_14, and 39,968 others
y/nl/n smiles and preparations, 2 days until I meet you guys 🫶(also happy new years lollll 😭😭)
احبكم كثيرررر 🩷🇶🇦
view all 7,983 comments
user1 IS THAT SOUQ WAQIF???? GUYS KILL ME SHE WAS RIGHT AROUND ME AND MY BLIND ASS DIDNT SEEEE 😭😭😭💔💔
user2 wait they allow women to not wear the scarf there?
↳ user3 @User2 girl what?? yes tf, get out of the propaganda ffs
ayanakamura_officiel ohh la laaa
↳ y/nl/n @Ayanakamura_officiel 💍 yes or no?
↳ user3 @y/nl/n lmfaoooo y/n keeps forgetting shes famous now
y/nbiggestfan awhhh how is it babee?
↳ y/nl/n @y/nbiggestfan everyone is so sweet and generous 🤧🥹🥹, i can't wait to meet yall
y/nupdates have fun sweetie!! enjoy it
↳ y/nl/n @y/nupdates thank you Emi 🫶
jackie_groenen_14
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liked by elisadealmeida5, psg_feminines, and 13,622 others
tagged: elisadealmeida5, sakinakarchaoui, grace_geyoro, psg_feminines, qatarairways
jackie_groenen_14 always learning with the girls, it was nice to have some special days with my 2nd fam ❤️💙
view all 58 comments
y/nl/n what were you thinking in the 5th slide lolll
↳ jackie_groenen_14 @y/nl/n i thought you said it was cute :(((
↳username1 @jackie_groenen_14 im so confused how do they know each other
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elisadealmeida5
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liked by y/nl/n, jackie_groenen_14, grace_geyoro, and 74,567 others
elisadealmeida5 Great time together in doha 🇶🇦
Thanks for the amazing experience ✨️
@psg_feminines
@Visitqatar
@qatarcreates
@Qatarairways
#parissaintgermain #psg #paris
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_clarehunt 🥰🥰
jackie_groenen_14 baby ❤️
user54 تهبلللل اخخخخ
user42 lindaaaa😩
user11 who was she giggling with on the 5th pic ugh 😩😩
y/nl/n
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Liked by elisadealmeida5, kehlani, brahim, and 36,641 others
y/nl/n thank you so much Qatar for this experience, too many pretty places my phone storage is gonna explode ☹️
Thank you @dohamusicfestival for this unforgettable moment, and to everyone involved (that old lady that was making Nutella bread in souq waqif, I will never forget you 👆)
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user5 you're always welcome back!💞💞
user3 maybe that girl on Twitter wasn't so blind... I swear it's the same place
↳ user1 @user3 babe that's The Pearl it's literally like number 1 on tourist attraction place
↳ user3 @user1 so? They could go together
↳ user1 @user3 I still don't understand the fascination of them going together, like she can have friends. I know she's antisocial and makes jokes about it but I promise she's not a baby 🙏🙏
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Cutiedealmeida uploaded a thread
"can I get a kiss?" - fan of Elisa's
Elisa: "sorry, I'm not single sorry" 💔
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oh my god elisa speaks in English again! Does this confirm that our favorite football player is taken...or is she just saying that as the girl looks much younger? Who knows! I guess we have to wait till Eli confirms her relationship...video credits: @emiliaaa.zl 🤞❤️ #elisadealmeida #footballnews #psg #psgfeminines
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↳ user1 FUCK MY LIFE
↳ user2 she literally just confirmed it by saying she's not single 💀💀 do you want her to post a sloppy make out picture or what
↳user3 let me not just say anything...
↳user4 @user3 do you know who is the gf?
↳user3 @user4 nope I was just jealous 😁
fanofyn @ynupdates do you think it could be her?
↳ ynupdates @fanofyn y/n never said she's not single. And even if she is taken, there is barely any proof of it being Elisa 🤞
elisadealmeida5 uploaded a story
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y/nl/n
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Liked by elisadealmeida5, kehlani, brahim, and 79,751 others
Y/n ☀️❄️
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User1 she couldn't think of a caption so she used emojis lol
↳ y/nl/n @User1 stop exposing me 😔
Besfriend can't believe you ditched me for this 💔💔
↳ y/nl/n @Bestfriend stopppp I asked you if you wanted to come 😭😭
Jackie_groenen_14 the sunglasses and the smile 😍😍
↳y/nl/n @jackie_groenen_14 shut up I'm blushing 🤚
User2 SHUT UP SHES WITH THAT PLAYER
↳user3 @User2 that place is very popular lol every rich person is there right now
↳user2 @User3 man I can't even be fucking delusional anymore without yall
↳user4 @User2 I believe you, they were posing the same way too ✊️
↳user2 @User4 WHAT THE HELL I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT
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Y/nl/n uploaded a story
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elisadealmeida5 uploaded a story
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Y/nl/n
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Liked by elisadealmeida5, brahim, kehlani, and 156,164 others
Y/nl/n good night and good win 🙏 Hala madrid 🤍
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User1 wait she's actually with brahim????
↳user2 @User1 I'd cry
User3 slut, only cares about players for money
↳user4 @User3 get a fucking life weirdo
User5 nooo the men found out about her :(( she will literally get hate on every post now
Bestfriend idgaf it's visca barca
↳ y/nl/n @Bestfriend babe... this isn't you 😔😔
user6 she's wearing a Spain shirt 👀
↳ user7 @User6 isn't brahim Moroccan?
↳user6 @User7 he's half Spanish, and before he got into the Moroccan team he wanted to play for the Spanish one but he wasn't good enough for them ig😬😬
User8 BABBYYYYY LOOK AT MY GIRL LIKE WOW
User9 awh she's so happy for her boyfriend ;((
User10 the last slide is brahim?
User11 awhh it's so cute how she's teaching him how to eat with his hand, but the food looks too hot tho 😭😭
Y/nl/n uploaded a story
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Y/nupdates_page
Liked by user1, y/nsister, and 64,652 others
Y/nupdates_page GUYS KILL MEE Y/N JUST WENT LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR!...but something happened in the end as you can see from this screen-recording.
Is Y/n dating Elisa? Or was it Brahim? The audio wasn't clear, and the camera wasn't showing the door properly either! But from the small corner... the person has the same features as both brahim and Elisa. Short brown hair and fair skin... it could be either. But it's 99% Brahim since y/n never made a statement that she likes women, and she did make a lot of... interesting tweets back in the day about brahim ifykyk 🙈🙈
#y/n #music #elisadealmeida
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user1 LMFAOOOO HER FACE
user2 idfc I'll stay delusional and pray it's Elisa
user3 wait what happened after this???
↳Y/nupdates_page @User3 she froze for 5 seconds, laughed, and then just ended it 😭😭 not even a fucking goodbye, she HATES us 😔💔💔
user4 noooo she's not single anymore💔 no more heartbroken depressing music
user5 wait who the fuck is Elisa and why does it feel like there is some inside joke that yall are hiding from me
↳Y/nupdates_page dw bae i got you, I made a post about the whole rumor a while ago 🫡
user6 HER SISTER LIKED IT
↳Y/nupdates_page @User6 she's probably sending it to the gc to laugh at her lmfao 💀💀
User7 #music ma'am are you that desperate for likes
↳Y/nupdates_page @User7 yes I'm an attention whore and the tag clearly worked.
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y/nl/n
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Liked by elisadealmeida5, jackie_groenen_14, kehlani, and 196,725 others
Tagged: elisadealmeida5
y/nl/n I'm so happy for my girlfriend ;((
eli, I'm so proud of you and I love you so much 🤎🤎
View all 60,624 comments
elisadealmeida5 babbyyyy❤️❤️🥺🥺
↳y/nl/n @elisadealmeida5 ❤️🤎
user1 WHICH ONE OF YALL BITCHES CALLED ME DELUSIONAL
user2 it's actually insane how we knew about this from a random tweet damn
user3 brahim didn't like this post lolll
user4 that's a girl?
user5 damn she's hot as hell
user6 I get depressed thinking she's not single but I start crying in joy when I realize it's a woman
user7 awhh she used a brown heart emoji 🤎🥺🥺🥺
↳user8 @User7 what the fuck is that supposed to mean 💀💀
↳user7 @User8 y/n has a whole album called 'Brown Hearts' lol
user9 Elisa is not single :(((((
user10 wait are they together?
↳user11 @User10 well i tell you what Sherlock Holmes you are unbelievable
↳y/nsister @User11 LMFAOAOAO
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i want to thank @thinkingaboutjaedyn for showing ouidad... like its insane how perfect she is for this
fun facts:
-the pictures were somehow easy to find, i was actually shocked on how i was able to find pictures from ouidad for this fic, the only time i struggled was for the 'paparazzi' pics at the end.
-the two pictures on y/n's post of her in qatar were from my sister's instagram page
if there is a mistake ignore it because im gonna kms if i have to edit this again
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molecoledigiorni · 1 month
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C’era una volta il silenzio
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vicioux · 1 year
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when he tells u not to worry because you're not as heavy as he thought 😵‍💫🥴🥰
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