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jujutsukgojo · 1 month

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I'm a hero now

Chapter one: That's a fact shinsou hitoshi x reader 1/? Summary:

He’s sorry and is a terrible piece of shit. He’ll show you that you’re safe from now on. Not because he has something to prove to the world. Not because he’s a hero now and heroes make things right. No, he’s going to do it because it’s you.

And it is you who matters the most to him.

tw: bullying, spoilers, quirk misuse and discrimination and stage fright

“Do you want to play with me?” Hitoshi walks up to you with his friends behind him. Your yellow dress is splayed around you with little grass stains. Before, you plucked the offending grass and were tossing the blades. Now you are rubbing them with your hands as you shrink away from your purple haired classmate.

“You’re not doing anything.” He points. He notices you stiffen with every word he speaks. Before you got all quiet towards him, you talked all the time. Now he has to push you to do it. Lately, it's been bothering him. “You can talk! Say something, will you?”

You still look down and shy away from him. “Pretty doll, play with me! We never play anymore. Will you play?” He has always thought you were pretty. The sun always hits your face in the best way. He says under his breath, “Probably the prettiest in the world. Do you know that?”

You look at him with a frown on your face, still plump with baby fat. “Rea-” Your eyes go blank for what may be the hundredth time.

__________________________

“Hey-”

He watches your figure practically run down the hallway when he says hello. You narrowly missed the passing students. People come out of the classroom behind him. Unfortunately, he doesn’t move in time and once again, he was pushed and ignored by a group of students who pass through him every day. It's not like they have anything to worry about anyway. He's scrawny and is tired from the lack of sleep. He’s admittedly unkept and dehydrated, filled with way too much coffee and not enough water. He’s not a physical threat at all.

Yet you, someone who is thought to be a hero among the school, runs from him and doesn’t even try to save him. You who are called worthy of being a hero, something he has even witnessed with his own eyes, leave him to the wolves. He’s seen you stand on tables to yell at all of those who ridiculed a student who had been bullied the entire school year. He saw how passionate you were when you stood up to the main offender. So, why not save him? He grew up with you. The two of you have been in each other’s class for years in every school. There has not been a single class that the two of you haven’t shared. He remembers one time there was a group project and you refused to talk to him. The third member had to be the middleman because of it.

Are you really that much of a coward?

He goes to the cafeteria and sits down at a far table. He sips on his coffee he bought from the vending machine and munches on his sandwich bought from a gas station. There was no time to prepare a lunch and he owes the lunch people some cash and he doesn’t have that right now. Suki, the head lunch lady with a kind but stern voice is liable to smack him on the head again if he doesn’t have it.

Suddenly, right as he is about to take a bite of his awaiting ham sandwich, his chair is kicked from under him. He is violently thrown to the ground, his ass hitting the tile hard. Above him is the evil red headed villain of the school, Subaru. He’s a pest with a fire quirk. The asshole flashes it around like he’s Endeavor when in reality, he has a far inferior quirk that just happens to be offensive rather than defensive. It’s like a candle light.

People’s laughter echoes off the cafeteria’s walls. The noise grates his ears and makes his cheeks warm. “Aye, Hitoshi, what’cha got there?” One of his goons without a memorable name grabs the sandwich and takes a large bite from it. The missing chunk swishes around his large mouth disgustingly as he tries to talk with his mouth full. Before they can do anything else like they always do, he hears a voice stop their next actions.

“Stop.” The group of boys turn to look at you. For the first time, he actually has your compassion. Subaru of course flirts with you to get out of your bad side. Instead of falling for his charm (or lack of), you begin to scold him and his cronies for their immaturity.

The floor’s tiles are cold under Hitoshi’s hand as he pushes himself up. After the group of assholes’ scolding, you find his purple eyes. He watches the fierce color turn to something close to fear. Hitoshi stands up and watches you run away from him once again.

After the incident, he no longer dealt with bullies like that. Everyone asked him to not use his quirk instead. He sits in his seat as a few students come up to him. They never participated in the bullying. He doubts they even knew since they’re always in their own little world.

“It’s kind of villainous, Shinso. So, don’t use it on us!” One of his classmates poke his arm. “Don’t worry, I get that a lot.” He rubs the back of his neck. The leaves outside blow into the sky, away from these people. He wishes he were one of them to get away from the judgment and fear.

When he starts at a new school and grade, they all find out about his quirk and this happens. People think he’s a freak or a villain. He never tells and the teachers don’t. Subaru and co. knew about his quirk, they even told him. But now everyone does?

Subaru must’ve told and decided rejection and isolation is better than a punch in the face.

____________________________

He’s left middle school and is going to U.A to be in the hero course. Just in case, he also applied for general studies. Brainwashing will only get him so far. He’s untrained and doesn’t have a flashy quirk. The likelihood of succeeding is slim because of the lack of physical prowess. Still, that doesn't mean it's impossible.

Right as he is about to enter the building, he sees a familiar face: you. He had no idea you were applying. Are you becoming a hero too? It’s in your nature so it’d make sense. You don’t register him staring at you or wanting to talk to you. The last time he’s actually gotten a word out of you was in elementary. You yelled at him and ended that conversation with a harsh kick. The teacher sent you to the principal’s office after that. Hitoshi struggles to even remember why that happened or what you said. Either way, he’s got his whole future ahead of him now.

Then he gets a clear view of your face, making him slow down. He feels a clench in his chest that has a pressure he recognizes. This terrible feeling is too familiar to him. He feels it when he looks at a hero with an ideal quirk and when he sees you walk away with all the things he doesn't have. Friends, a smile, and a confidence that you carry is so bright compared to his. Hitoshi has felt this way since he can remember. He wants you to notice him. All his life he hasn’t even been a blimp on anyone’s radar, including yours. He wants you to look at him. For a strange reason, he wants you to be proud of him.

Like he thought, he didn’t get into the hero course. There wasn’t anything he could do against those robots. Everyone else had some kind of quirk that could defend or fight them while he lacked. He wonders how you did or if you even tried out for it. Wouldn’t that be something? For the hero of the schools to become an actual hero that ignored him for the majority of the time.

Bitterness rears its head. He can see it now. You in a costume to fit whatever your quirk is, face on the screen about how you stopped some villain all while he is still reeling from you and everyone else avoiding him like the Bubonic Plague. For some reason, some stupid ass reason, he sees your back again. Then the image goes to your hand that won't reach out to him.

He stops on the sidewalk. People pass him, ignoring his inner crisis. He clenches his fists. “Why do I care?” This has been going on for years now. He doesn’t remember how you first met but it must’ve been from school. Every year he sees you in every class he’s in and he also remembers playing with you when the two of you were little.

That doesn’t matter. Neither should these feelings. What does it matter that you ignore him? That you don’t have his back like you do others. Well, you did that one time at lunch. He rubs his hand on his face, hoping to get rid of his blush and how he distinctly remembers that and how no one was violent afterwards. Leery? Definitely. But no one hit him or called him names. They were just careful around him. Even then, it stung every time they’d ask for him to not use his quirk on them. Then there is you. You running from him hurt more than others. Especially when he looked forward to seeing you-

Is that what it is? He feels the heat of his cheeks and ears. He looks at the sky and groans and curses as an answer pops in his mind. One that he doesn’t want to say or think of.

_________________

“That doesn’t make it right! They have to conform to a law that they might disagree with, right? That’s what you’re saying?”

His teacher growls and rubs his tired face. Hitoshi can see the smiles covered by his classmates’ hands. “Yes, yes-”

“Then why do we have to do this? We have different beliefs, obviously. And I don’t want to write about yours.”

“Excuse me?”

The teacher was clearly starting to get offended. Hitoshi watches in awe as something as simple as an assignment ended up into an argument because you saw the teacher berate a student. They didn’t understand the question of the assignment and when you saw how the teacher was acting, you stood up like you always do.

“This,” You shake the paper. “Has nothing to do with this class. This is for the hero course, not general studies. And even if we are supposed to do this, why would we have to write your conviction?”

“I’ve been way too patient. Detention.” You pout at first then have this gleam in your eyes. “Ha! Detention? Coward. And to think you're a hero. Tsk, tsk."

“Nezu. Now.” You huff and suck on your bottom lip. You lean back to your friend sitting behind you and whisper, “I’m getting that three day weekend, bet.”

“ (Y/n) (L/n)!” The teacher shouts. Hitoshi and the class are snickering. The teacher points to the door, demanding you leave. You pack up your things and huff. “Shinso, go with her and make sure she goes to Nezu. She’s acting up today.”

He sees you tense at the mention of his name. Practically all of the happiness is sucked out of you in short seconds. Hitoshi says nothing as he beats you to the door. The class is continuing like usual, but he can’t help but feel embarrassed as hell. Right before you exit, you look worriedly at your friend. Hitoshi is already in the hall waiting for you.

You whip out of the classroom fast. So fast that Hitoshi is having a tough time keeping up with you. Huh, physically and metaphorically, you’re ahead of him. All he can see is your determination and speed.

The next day, it happens again. Just like the years before, everyone found out about his quirk and have been cautious.

“Aye, don’t use your quirk on us, okay!” One of his classmates smile. Hitoshi notices a small bead of sweat on their forehead. “It’d be alright anyway. We’re surrounded by heroes! So behave, Shinsou!”

The other classmate, a girl, nudges him. Hitoshi smiles and rubs the back of his neck. “Don’t worry, I won’t.” The clouds are out today, covering the sun that he wanted to shine.

--------------------------------

Finally, the sports festival arrived. Hitoshi has been training his quirk and even some fighting. He doesn’t have a trainer or anything, but he has been watching movies and boxing to mimic. His quirk is controversial so he can’t use it at his discretion. He can’t even find volunteers other than his parents who did it reluctantly. He had to swear not to make them do anything crazy. Surprisingly, he’s now able to brainwash multiple people at once.

And yet despite him being behind everyone else, he’s confident. Him and several general studies students go up to the hero course to check on them. He’s the only one to actually go face to face with them and declare that he’ll win and take their spot in the class.

When doing so, he can’t help but think of you. To see the look on your face when he wins and gets ahead of you. He can see it now. Your shocked expression and maybe admiration in your eyes. To be able to actually see him.

He turns to leave and the first thing he sees are your eyes. He has half a mind to go up to you and tell you what he’s going to do. He doesn’t like when your eyes are like this, which is all the time when he’s around. He wants them to turn to something different.

You move out of his way and enter deeper into the classroom. He didn’t think that you’d get into the sports festival but he wouldn't put it past you to stir the pot as well.

Due to the chatter, he couldn’t hear what you were saying to Bakugou. All he knows is that he didn’t like how you talked to that jack ass while he’s known you for years and you avoid him.

You don’t breathe when you run into him in the hallway of the sports festival arena. Hitoshi stares down at you, just as surprised. He didn’t think that you’d even attend it. He discovered you weren’t participating and was disappointed. You’re the opposite of him. He was bullied and wimpy. He avoided confrontation whenever he could, yet you thrived whenever it was necessary.

He has watched you all these years and the same feeling has remained all this time. Now, he has a chance to prove himself, to show you and the world that he isn’t a villain and that he can be a hero. Here you are about to witness him give it his all. All the times he has watched you be a hero; you are finally going to see him be capable of being one too.

As he studies your face, his palms begin to sweat. He ignores it and says, “I’m going to win, (Y/n). And I want you to watch me.”

You say nothing and nod slowly.

------

He walks up to different people. Each falling for a trap they didn’t see coming. He doesn’t know what to expect but having them around may help. Suddenly, ice shoots their way. He gives the command he needs, “Dodge the ice and do not drop me.”

Since they were aspiring heroes with grade A training, they managed to evade it. They’re from class b, he assumes. He can’t help what his quirk is and how little he knows. Once he wins, he’ll train harder to do things on his own so he won’t have to do this as much.

Finally, they got caught in some trap and he had to abandon them. Of course, he let them loose. They were genuinely confused as to what happened and when the race started. He would’ve felt bad but he’s not here to make friends.

He comes across the extreme tight ropes and sees how the one freaky girl glides past. The frog is too far ahead but the floating one is complaining. The pink one goes past her. She’s a lot more flexible than he thought she’d be. That’s the hero course for you. He doesn’t doubt that she’ll do well.

“Hello?” He asks the round cheeked girl. She turns to look and says, “Huh?” That’s all it takes for her to float and guide him across, hand in hand. He can’t remember the last time he held hands with a girl. They’re littler than his and the pads are plushier. The tips of her hands remind him of a cat. Once he’s across, he feels the eyes of heroes on him. As shady as it may seem, he hopes they’re impressed by the usage of students.

Truly, he means no harm to these people. It’s just business. He uses the floaty girl to get him a good chunk through the course. Finally, he lets her go so he wouldn’t get too used to her. She woke up in a daze then sped off.

After an intense race, he makes it in the top forty. He looks up to see his classmates who are clapping, except you. You look horrified, terrified. His smile of victory quickly vanishes.

When the cavalry battle starts, he goes up to just a few people who all fall for the same ‘hello’ trick he used on the pink cheeked girl. He doesn’t want to make it seem that he’s watching you so he just looks through the corner of his eye. From what he can see, you cover your mouth with your hand, already figuring out what's going on.

He was shocked to see the tail drop out. His pride was too great for him to continue. Hitoshi hears how admirable yet disappointing it is. Hitoshi is the reason for it. His chest feels a heaviness in his stomach from guilt. It disappears when he thinks about this opportunity that the tail was given and how he disregards it. Hitoshi replaces that guilt with disgust. He can't help but glare at the nervous looking heteromorph as he walks to a green haired guy.

Now it’s time for the one on one fights. All he has to do is get the plain looking one to talk. Midoriya or something?

He can feel your eyes on him. So badly he wants to prove to you that he can win. He wants everyone to know that he can be a hero. He talks to the freckled kid, egging him on. The one thing he knows will get to him to talk is that boy with the tail. The Tail dropped out of the festival due to shame and pride. No one understood why he did it, but he was eager to talk to Midoriya. Hitoshi isn’t dumb. He knows that the tail told Midoriya about his quirk even though it’s common knowledge among general studies.

Finally, he got him. Midoriya was just an inch away from stepping out of the line. Eraserhead had informed everyone of Hitoshi’s quirk, so everyone was leaning in their seats to see it in action. The heroes in the back talk about him and why he isn’t in the hero course. Of course, there are the nervous ones and call his quirk villainous like they always have.

He is so sick of it.

Unfortunately, Midoriya somehow broke through Brainwashing and charged at him. His strength and speed are hard to keep up with but Hitoshi got a few good punches in. Hitoshi knows you heard everything he says to Midoriya and watch as he is flipped out of bounds along with his dream. It crushes him. It feels like his dream just went walked away from him like you have done for so long.

Midoriya’s words stick with him. Hitoshi got to vent and say what has been in his heart. It's what he needed to do and to hear a few words of encouragement. To see eyes that didn't fear him. A person that didn't judge him or consider him a villain. Meeting the freckled kid is a blessing. This encouragement is what he needs to know in order to let your approval go, he knows this. Everything else has left him except for you. There’s something about your approval, something about you that makes him hang on.

When he turns around, he’s met with cheers from his classmates. He’s in shock by the words and excitement. He looks at your face to see if you do the same. You look at him with disgust and leave your seat. It hurts for a minute or two. Then he hears his classmates call him the hero of general studies, the star. Words that were always your title. He hopes you hear it, wherever you went. He may not have won the sports festival, but he did win your title.

___________________________________________

The next day, he’s greeted with claps and whistles. He receives high fives and pats on the back. Even the teachers tip their hats and congratulate him. In front of everyone in his home room Snipe says that he got an internship.

“ Yes!” The guy next to him shouts. The class hangs onto him and even rubs his head. “Hey,” Hitoshi swats them away from his head.

“You act like I’m messing it up.”

A boy with a clown face, Aoi, continues to ruffle his hair. Hitoshi stares at him unamused. “So fluffy and soft…”

And here he thought it was greasy. A girl with blue skin pipes up. She sits on the edge of someone’s desk casually. “It’s nice having someone go against the hero course. They’re pretty strong, huh?”

“They were formidable.” Is all he says about it. He doesn't want to admit that it was hard yet. He wants to bask in this for a minute. “Yeah. Honestly Hitoshi,” She licks her plump lips. “I didn’t think you’d make it that far. I’m impressed. I never thought anyone here could hold a candle to them. Except (Y/n), of course. She could take them.”

“Definitely.” Chikuchi walks over and flicks his hair as well. Aoi gives a light chuckle. “They’d be good together.”

“A duo!”

Hitoshi raises a brow. “What?”

“Love!” A girl clasps her hands together and coos with hearts in her eyes. Hitoshi sees people with knowing smiles and a flush to their cheeks. “Hitoshi and (Y/n), sitting in a tree-” He chokes on spit.

“Huh?” He sees you enter the room and everyone goes silent. Your eyebrows furrow for a moment then finally release. “Mmhmm.” You hum suspiciously. You don’t acknowledge him like always. Even with all of these people around him singing with praise, you remain across the room like he doesn’t exist.

Still, with what was said about the two of you and how far off that is, he can’t help but feel tingly. The admiration he has for you turned into a different kind of feeling over time. He’s kept it a secret that he’s denied constantly. Now hearing how his peers are reacting to the thought of it, he’s warm inside.

He smiles a little as people go on about the internship. His mind moves away from you and onto his new opportunity. Little did anyone know, Eraserhead has taken it upon himself to train him. Hitoshi already knew of the internship since the hero told him right after the festival.

_________________________________

"How am I supposed to learn this? Can I really learn something that took you six years?" He doesn't know how, but he's completely tangled in binding cloth. "I wouldn't waste my time on something pointless."

Hitoshi wiggles in the binds as his mentor just watches him struggle. As he turns and squirms, Hitoshi hears a familiar laugh. In the corner of his eye, he sees you skip along with your friends. A large, spike headed boy pushes this one shorter boy to the ground and yells. Since Hitoshi has realized that it's possible for him to be a hero, his protective instincts have risen. In his fight with the binds, he spots you beating him to it. You stand firm and your voice is stern.

"Leave him alone. Act like you have some sense." The big guy moves towards you. Hitoshi's eyes widen with each step he takes towards you. Your friends tug on your hand to get away. Finally, the bully leans down to you, saying something that isn't reaching Hitoshi's pounding ears. Suddenly, the scene stops when your mouth moves for the final time. The spike headed one backs off with his head hung low.

Hitoshi pauses as everything unfolds and you walk away. He's stuck in binds while you go passed him once again.

"Do you know her?"

"Yeah, we kind of grew up together. We went to the same school our whole life." This is embarrassing. "It's no big deal."

"Keep focus at the task at hand. You being tied up like that is giving me second hand embarrassment."

You're not aiming to be a hero yet each time you run right past him. He can't keep up with you or the hero course. How is he going to be able to do this? If you saw him now, he'd die even more than he wants to on the regular.

"I said get out of it I'm flushed."

______________________

After all the drama that took place with class 1-a, everyone had to move into the dorms. Hitoshi understands that it’s not their fault. Most of general studies do. That doesn’t change the irritation, frustration, and discomfort though. Some of the students don’t have the money to move into dorms so they have to get scholarships. The pressure of maintaining those Hitoshi hears is hard.

You are one of them. When the teachers sent letters to people’s homes, Hitoshi knew his parents, if not Eraserhead, would let him go. You on the other hand is a different story. He has no idea if you are able to do it. His future in the hero course is set as long as he trains hard. All of those in the hero classes are fine. It’s general studies, business courses, and support that are up in the air. He knows that it’s none of his business. But this is you. Someone he’s grown up with.

The front door to the dorms is open. He sees the red couch set in the commons and a large kitchen in the back. The counter has a coffee set that will be well loved here. There are elevators at each side of the commons with a stair sign not too far from them. It reminds him of a hotel or apartment lobby. It’s all plain and simple.

His things have already been moved to his room on the third floor. He unlocks his door and right as his foot enters it, he sees you struggling with your door. He’d be a liar if he said he didn’t care that you were here or not. That he’s done with your approval and recognition. Yet he feels lighter at the sight of you and his chest feels like butterflies. He’s happy you are here even if the feeling isn’t mutual.

You finally get your door open. Hitoshi goes into his own room to rest. Laying on his back, it hits him: you’re practically living together.

He pops up on his bed in shock. Taking a deep breath, he smacks his cheeks to get rid of that thought. This is simply a school dormitory.

_______________________________

The planning for the school festival is buzzing. Everyone in his class had some kind of idea for it. A maid cafe, food stands, a haunted house, all of it. Everyone’s excited to plan and experience a happy moment in this eventful year. He volunteered to be the scare at the haunted house. Whereas you had a choice: to enter the beauty pageant or work in that maid cafe.

“This is so embarrassing you guys.” You hit the table. “Come on! You lost the bet fair and square.” Tsutsutaka leans on the desk and wiggles his brows. Your nose shrivels. “Ew.”

“You have to help, (Y/n).” The students start to cause a fuss. You sigh. “It’s not like that, okay? I…I’ll lose the pageant-”

Hitoshi turns his head to look at you. You continue. “And a maid cafe? Seriously?”

“ You lost the bet!” You groan at their shout. “Can’t I run a food stand or something?”

“ No!”

“You won’t be alone. There’s going to be others working with you. Don’t be so self conscious.” A student hangs onto you, rubbing your shoulder soothingly. “It’s either the maid cafe or the pageant. Either one you’ll be a doll in!” Chikuchi says with sincerity. You frown and look down. “I’ll do the maid cafe…”

The rest of class went to planning. His mind drifted off and thought of you dressed as a maid, making his cheeks red.

After scaring the future heroes, he went to the food vendors and got some candied apples. He slurped on a slushie and talked to a few people in the hero course. He went to the play and was totally confused. Not to mention suffered from secondhand embarrassment. The concert was alright, but he lost interest and had to go back to the haunted house anyway.

As he walks to the haunted house, he sees the cute themed maid cafe. Unable to help himself, he brushes past a crowd to go in. A few of his classmates hang onto his shoulders. “They can’t turn you down, our star!”

The first person he sees is you. Your back is turned to him. He’d recognize that back of yours anywhere. Following your directions, you welcome him ‘home’.

“Besides, it’s her.” One of the goons hum the tune to K-I-S-S-I-N-G. If he wasn’t dead set on being a hero, he’d smack the clown. Alas, he can’t put his hands on him. Eraserhead would choke him again.

You turn around and give a closed smile. A vein is bulging out of your forehead and your eye is twitching. “Come with me, masters.”

Hitoshi feels a pulse in an embarrassing place. He wants to slap himself for it.

The clown faced goon squeals and follows you too closely. Hitoshi can’t help but trip him in a way that makes the clown look clumsy. You look back at the boy who shrieked on his way down. You still don’t see Hitoshi standing there, with your eyes to the floor in an attempt to avoid the shame.

You ask what the ‘masters’ want to eat and drink. You put on a cutesy act while they order. Hitoshi looks you over, noticing how the uniform hugs you. It’s his turn to order. He goes for a coffee when you look at him and freeze. Your breath is heavy.

“Aye, the star of general studies and (Y/n)-” Tsutsutaka elbows clown face’s stomach. Groaning, clown face finishes, “Sitting in a tree-”

Chikuchi comes out of nowhere and steals you away with a mischievous grin. “Let’s go, let’s go!”

“What’s going on?” Hitoshi gets up with them and follows them to the pageant. He sees you, horrified, on the stage. You suck on your lips nervously and your knees shake a little. A few people whistle or even coo at your maid uniform.

He wants to shield you. To pick you up and take you off the stage. You hate this and hate the way they’re looking at you. Honestly, he doesn’t like it either. The presenter goes to you with a microphone and completely ignores your terrified face. Some people in the crowd comment how you look like a scared bunny or even a kitten.

He’s had enough. Tsutsutaka stands next to him, curious of Hitoshi’s reaction of clenched fists and flared nostrils. “She does look scared…” Tsutsutaka takes a step but Hitoshi beats him to it. Hitoshi goes up to the stage and picks you up bridal style. Some of them clap and others complain. You burrow your head in his chest.

Back stage, he puts you down. Your knees buckle from under you. Hitoshi immediately catches you before you land too hard on the ground. Your hands cover your eyes. The covering doesn’t hide you sucking on your lips to stop them from wobbling. You're breathing heavy, chest rising and falling harder and harder. Tsutsutaka rushes backstage and finds the two of you.

"Are you okay?” Should you be with the nurse? You're breathing way too hard and look sickly. He goes to pick you up again. You gasp and stare up at him in horror. Immediately, you run from him and don’t look back.

______________________________________-_______

He bounces on his heels in his room. Today he'll be fighting both classes of the hero course. He's trained with Eraserhead for months now and has gained a lot more definition in his body. Not only is he stronger but he's faster and more tactical too. However, he isn't blind. He knows that he's majorly behind. The classes had months of legitimate training and experience with villains while he's remained indoors and wrapped in a binding cloth.

That alone is worth more than what he's done. Through this time with Eraser, he has also paid less attention to you. Not that you've noticed or anything. During this time, he's slowly letting you go and focusing on himself in a more positive light. It's more than he imagined.

The clock strikes and he heads to the grounds. He passes some students who encourage him to do his best since they're aware that he's training. He gives them a thumbs up and says goodbye. Once again, you're missing. It's okay though. Hitoshi can't afford to think of you anyway. The joint training is his exam of his potential even if Eraser didn't tell him that.

The second the beastly student appears and throws Tsu and Kirishima, he reacts and uses his voice changer. Right when Jurota freezes, Hitoshi pictures you for some reason. It's your eyes that are scared whenever he's around. He pushes that away and launches his binding cloth only to be met with an air prison. Kaminari throws himself at Jurota, electrifying him. Tsu then captures Kosei and runs. Hitoshi can only watch as she runs as fast as she can injured.

Shit.

The next match is crazy. Midoriya goes out of control and his team are fighting valiantly. Monoma's crazed antics before weren't unfounded. Class B is equal to class A. Unfortunately, Hitoshi is a dead weight. He knows this, especially when he's tackled by Midoriya. He was so close to capturing his rival. So, so close. Hitoshi feels so heavy. He's disappointed in his performance and how obvious his weakness is. He admits that he only saved Midoriya for their rematch, he's choked by his mentor. In that moment, he wonders if Eraser is actually scolding him for what he said or because of what he was thinking of: you. In the first round he hesitated because of you. It threw him off.

Either way, he feels like shit. The bright side is that in his second year, he gets in the class.

________________________--

The war has begun, and the heroes lost the first round. His teacher, Eraserhead, is severely injured and down for the count. All he can do is hold onto Erasure for a short while. He’s lost an eye and his leg valiantly, earning mass respect, including from Hitoshi. He has always respected his teacher but seeing the lengths Eraser would go to protect everyone inspired Hitoshi to do his absolute best.

He put his uniform on and wishes general studies well. “Promise you’ll be okay, star!”

He’s grateful for his mask that hides a part of his face. “I will. I don’t have my license yet, so I won’t be in the front lines or anything.”

“Do your best, Shinsou!” He gets cheers from the general studies in all the grades that gather around to wish him goodbye. He spots you on the couch hugging your blue skinned friend. He doesn’t know what to say to you. But in case something does happen, he wants to at least talk to you even though he is sure you won’t say a thing back to him.

He’s in front of you. He wants to squat to get to your level on the couch but doesn’t. There are so many things to say yet none at all. There is nothing to be paid and then there is so much owed. Hitoshi wants to yell at you and declare that he’s a hero. Then he also wants to say nothing and leave with mystery.

It’s you. The one he’s known for years and has always chased in a way. The one who protected h im as he done for you at the festival. He hated how scared you were and hated how people looked at you. He hated how because you weren’t in the official running, you were disqualified and it made people think you weren’t as pretty as they thought.

“Be safe.” Is all he can muster. You look stunned.

Kaminari repeated what Midnight told him: to picture the person who matters the most. Is it strange that he thought of you? So, that is all he will say.

After he did his duty and brainwashed Aoyama and his parents, Eraserhead tells him, “It won’t be in April now due to this mess. But you’ll be in my class. You’re prepared enough to enter. Let’s hope you can keep up.”

He nodded, excited to his core. The only bad thing about it is losing you even though he never had you. Waking up in the morning for a cup of your coffee that you made in the pot, how you cooked pancakes for everyone one day and a traditional dish the next. He’ll lose seeing you every day and waiting for your replies. He takes a deep breath. He can’t think of that, and he shouldn’t. For the first and only time, he has the opportunity to become a hero.

Eraserhead leads him to the hero course of 1-A. The veteran explains what is happening and the plan for everything. Finally, Hitoshi appears and waves.

“I’ll be joining the hero course soon. I thought it’d be in April but this all happened.”

Hitoshi looks at the class who will not shut up. “Join class A!” The red head leans on him and shakes him. Eraserhead clarifies why Hitoshi is there in the first place. Prior to him coming in the class A commons, he worked on Aoyama. The blond was scared and rightfully so. His story is frightening. Hitoshi could only imagine being thrusted into the very thing you're against because your parents pushed you into it and some killer is stalking you.

He hopes Aoyama will be okay. He hopes the same for you.

He rides on Machia who is brainwashed, then is flung around. Hitoshi thinks of Midoriya, his friends in general studies and the ones he is coming to know in the hero course. Most of all, he thinks of you. The last time he saw you, you were clinging onto your friend.

Picture the person who matters the most.

Despite everything, it’s you. The way he protected you during the festival and now this. He needs to. He wants to. If he were to say it out loud, no one would understand. He doesn't even get it but it's true. Hitoshi continues to control Machia then it is thwarted. The beast cries out about betrayal and fights. Hitoshi tries to gain control back by using different voices but is stopped each time.

This is not going well.

Picture the person who matters the most.

He sees you playing with him when the two of you were kids. It was years ago and he barely remembers that time. He thinks of how you saved him back in middle school and stopped the bullying. He sees your fearful eyes and the urge to stop them. You've always thought of him as a threat. As a villain. Now there is a giant one that could crush you like a leaf. He hates being a villain in your eyes.

He'll take that assumption over your death any day.

_______________

He’s officially in the hero course now. Because of his efforts, he got his license without a hassle. At first, he didn’t think he deserved it. Machia was able to break out of his Brainwashing several times then it all went to hell after that. The only thing Hitoshi managed to do was prevent another massacre. Still, the damage that was done was great, making Hitoshi feel like shit. After talking with a few people, including his parents, he's come to realize that he did good for a first timer.

The world is still picking up the pieces after Shigaraki a year later. So many things have changed since then. One of the things that haven't are the friendships he made in general studies. Although they don't spend every day together, they still treat him as a friend.

He comes back from the third year general studies hall. He didn’t see you and hasn’t for a bit. Everyone verified that you were still in school. It’s a little embarrassing that they literally keep track of everything and are still rooting for the two of you.

Suddenly, there is a familiar figure facing away from him. He hasn’t seen you in a while. It's not like he has totally forgotten about you, not at all. The reason is that life has drifted him away. Now, here you are bouncing and trying to reach something another student is holding over your head. You're so playful with him. If it were Hitoshi, you'd scream and run. Even though he thought of you when he was fighting.

You jump in the air again. His breath hitches.

After school, he walks to his dorm. The day has a crisp breeze that fights the heat of the sun. Days like this are cherished after the hell that the League brought. Once again, he finds you smiling and talking animatedly to your friends. The sun hits your face just right, making you look like a painting. Kaminari, of course, comes up to him and leans on him. “Is that the maid girl?”

“Her name’s (Y/n).”

“She’s pretty.” Hitoshi side eyes his friend. “The prettiest.” Hitoshi’s eyes get wide. Was that from a movie? There is something memorable about that. Kaminari’s his friend. Has been for a bit, too. So, it’s okay to say what Hitoshi has been thinking, right? “I think she hates me.”

“What? Why?” Hitoshi can’t keep his eyes off of you. “I don’t know. Probably my quirk if anything.”

“Well first of all, that’s stupid so let’s get that out the way. Second, I thought you were well liked in general studies?” He blows a bubble with his gum. Hitoshi holds out his hand for the blond to hand a stick over.

“Yeah, after the sports festival. Even then she doesn’t look at me. She runs instead.”

“Huh…you want me to go ask her?” Hitoshi elbows him in the ribs, thinking murderous thoughts. "Absolutely the fuck not.”

“W-why not? It’ll solve it.” Kaminari groans as he rubs his ribs. “I’m just saying it could be something different, you know? Maybe she actually likes you and is nervous.”

Hitoshi scoffs. You? Like him? His old classmates still joke about it but he knows better. “Nah, she’s been doing this since we were kids.”

Kaminari decides to listen instead of replying. Hitoshi sighs as he leans on a pillar. “We’ve gone to school together since I can remember. It has always been like this.” He scratches his head. “I’m used to it by now.”

Kaminari leans on the other side of the pillar. “Like, I get that you’re used to these kinds of things. Still, it doesn’t make it right. I say just go up to her.”

Hitoshi crosses his arms. Just how shy does he think he is? “I’ve talked to her before, Kaminari. I’m not totally hopeless.”

Without looking at him, Hitoshi knows Kaminari took that and ran. “Pfft, when?” Hitoshi shouldn’t take the bait. He should turn around and leave or something. “Throughout the years. We’ve never held a conversation I think. The last time we talked was during the wars.”

Kaminari comes closer to Hitoshi’s side of the pillar. “You, uh, said goodbye?”

“In a way.” Hitoshi glares. “What?”

His friend shrugs his shoulders. “I said my goodbyes, too. We all did.” The wars are a sensitive topic among society. With a breath, the human charger sheds the sadness away. He gets in front of Hitoshi. “Go get your girl then, Hitoshi.”

Hitoshi’s ears are warm. “She’s not my girl, Denki.” A mischievous gleam grows in Kaminari’s eyes. “So… I can get her then?” Hitoshi freezes. “ No!”

“Tsk, tsk. She’s fair game, my man.” Kaminari turns away from Hitoshi and heads your way. Hitoshi grabs him by the back of his collar and drags him from you without you noticing their conversation. In all honesty, he wants you to know. To hear him say what’s been on his mind for years.

_________________________

Denki never made a move on you or told anyone how Hitoshi felt about you. Now it’s graduation day. The support course has already grabbed everything and walked. Now it’s your turn. He sits on the edge of his seat in case you need him again. You go up and grab your diploma. You turn to the crowd and shout, waving it around. He’s proud of you. Not only did you graduate, but you also managed to go up on the stage. Your cheesy smile lights up the whole place. He knows there is no way he’s the only one in awe.

You are still the prettiest.

Finally, it’s his turn after his classmates in the hero course. Everyone has been through so much and has grown immensely. This includes him and you. He goes up to get his diploma. The hero course and general studies shout. He’ll miss them all. His eyes find yours immediately, it’s natural now. He’s been looking for years.

You don’t notice at first until you hit his dead on. The last time he’s looked into them was when he was sent off to the second war. He went up to you for the last time and told you to be safe. Midnight told Denki to imagine he’s protecting something dear to him and Hitoshi went by that. You don’t look away. He wonders if this is your way of saying goodbye.

You kiss your friends goodbye and twirl around on the sidewalk. It’s dark out and starry. Maybe if he says one more thing to you, maybe if he says how he feels, then he can let you go? Does he want to? Need to?

“Hey,” You stop twirling and look behind at him. He’s face to face with you, alone, for the first time. The light from the party is still going strong, illuminating your features. You’ve grown and are even prettier somehow. He takes a deep breath. This might be the last he talks to you or even sees you.

“Thanks for being safe.” Your eyes are wide and you’re speechless once again. “You don’t have to say anything, you never do,” He rubs the back of his neck. “I…I wanted you to know that I’m happy you’re alright.”

He now notices how much bigger he is than you. Taller and stronger, his voice is deeper, too. He’s grown a lot now.

When he looks up all he sees is your back, running from him down the street. He’s grown up a lot now so it doesn’t hurt so bad. It still stings, but at least it won’t keep him up at night he hopes.

Once again, he’s lying. He has come to terms with his adoration for you. After an incident in the bathroom that will never be talked about again, the beating of his heart pounded. No longer did he try to muffle it after he talked to Denki.

One day. One day he’ll tell you he’s always liked you. Then maybe he can move on somehow. First loves usually don't last, right?

_________________

It’s been a few years since he’s been a pro hero. It’s a rare day he has off and has reluctantly decided to go with his friends for breakfast. What he really wants is to be able to sleep in for once but they won’t leave him the hell alone. The bell above the restaurant door dings when he opens it. The diner is kind of on the small side and has old tiles. The place looks well-loved and the customers are clearly familiar.

“I’ll wait.” The young worker behind the counter groans. “Please order something. You’ve been hogging the counter for hours.”

“It’s been an hour. I’m waiting for my wife. I don’t trust your cooking.” The worker gasps. “I am excellent at my job!”

The man at the counter takes a sip out of the small ceramic mug. “This is awful. I’ll wait.”

“Look, I did it exactly how it’s supposed to be done. You guys are just picky!”

A middle-aged woman comes up to Hitoshi and his friends from school. Everyone’s in civilian clothing but that doesn’t stop everyone from recognizing them. “Coffee anyone?”

“Doe, don’t give them that shit, rude as hell.” The one behind the counter stomps her foot. “ You’re rude as hell!”

Hitoshi and the rest grin. “I’ll take a cup.” A few of the customers send him prayers. The worker behind the counter stomps away. Hitoshi would feel bad for her if the coffee hadn’t been so bad. The taste makes him choke and put the mug down. The middle aged waitress, Doe, laughs and pats Hitoshi on the back. She calls the busboy over to collect everyone’s mugs.

“Really, it’s not that bad…” Midoriya, despite saying that, puts his cup with the busboy. Suddenly, the door opens up. The customers sigh in relief. The man and the counter asks loudly, “And where in the hell have you been?”

Hitoshi turns to look at who he’s talking to. There you are, putting your jacket on the rack and waving at everyone. “Sorry I’m late, sorry, sorry.”

“Look at what she was serving!” It’s like they’re telling on the poor girl. “And look at this-” The others move to look at the man’s sad plate but Hitoshi can't stop staring at you. “What kind of fish is this?”

“Oh, you poor things.” You fully enter and go behind the counter. You lean in to look at the customer’s plate. “Oof.”

“It’s not that bad! I’ve been doing this for years.” Doe huffs and walks away and stops at your side. “You might want to make some coffee, baby.”

“I followed the directions!”

You pour yourself a small cup and drink. You take a drink and make a disgusted face. “You knew better, Rieka.”

Before Rieka can retort, you put your apron on and make a new pot of coffee first. Watching you in your element is so relaxing? Entertaining? You are just naturally flowing and are so fast with it all.

“The usuals?” The man at the counter clicks his tongue. Izuku chuckles at the patrons' interactions with each other. Doe comes by with the fresh pot that was quick to brew. “Round two?” With a little cream, he drinks. It’s better and familiar. It is exactly like the pot of coffee you’d always made at the dorms.

The table orders their meals and waits. Hitoshi still can’t believe it. You work here, he actually saw you. He hasn’t seen you since graduation day. You look more mature than you did then. He hopes he does too.

Quickly, the orders fly out of the kitchen with customers happily taking their plates right out of the waitress's hands. “How’d you find this place, Sero?”

The meals are on the table in no time. Each hot with mouth watering food. Sero takes the first bite. “Mm, it’s a usual hang out for heroes.”

“Seriously?” Ashido bites into her eggs then puts ketchup on them. “Yep. It’s because it’s lowkey and has good food. Apparently, Doe's dad used to be a hero so she makes an effort to keep it normal for heroes. The people who eat here don’t say anything or act up. Then again, most of the time we just order and take out real quick.”

Denki nudges Hitoshi. The latter already knows of the feelings he had towards you. “We know her, don’t we?”

Izuku’s already half done with his plate. “She looks familiar.”

Hitoshi nods. “We went to school together in general studies. Her name’s (Y/n) (L/n).” Izuku taps his chin. “The maid cafe!”

“And the pageant. Oh my God, everyone talked about the pretty maid on the stage. Apparently, she looked terrified.” Mina bites into her buttered toast.

“Why did she enter then?” Izuku asks after he takes another drink of his coffee. “She didn’t.”

The table looks at Hitoshi. “She had to choose between the cafe or the pageant and she chose the cafe. But some of the class dragged her up on stage without officially entering her.”

Ashido shakes her head. “She probably has stage fright or something. A few people were laughing about it, but I never thought it was funny.”

Uraraka shakes her head as well. “It wasn’t. I didn’t get to see it but by the sounds of it she was ready to faint, poor thing.” She chews on her food. “Thankfully Hitoshi here saved her.”

The tips of his ears are warm. “What? I didn’t hear about that!”

He looks at Ashido. “I carried her off the stage.” There is a gleam in her eyes that gives him a heavy and dreading feeling. Doe comes back with a smile on her face. She sports the same shine as Ashido. “Everything okay here? Need anything?”

“More coffee, please.” Hitoshi holds up his empty cup. Doe smiles. “I’ll get the chef to get right on it, handsome.”

He side eyes Ashido who loudly sips on her beverage. “I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

"Her hero."

Why is he nice to these people.

____________________________

Hitoshi is almost done for the night when he hears a short scream. He jumps from building to building with grace. Because of the years of doing this, he has become used to the dark, so he can see what’s going on with ease.

He gasps as he sees you held up by some thug in an alley. The villain is covering your mouth. You try to fight him off of you. Hitoshi swings over and kicks the criminal. Of course, they’re a common sort and easy to take down. All it takes is for him to ask a simple question, “Who?!”

“Wha-” Their eyes go blank. Hitoshi takes the time to cuff them and call them in. He turns to you. You’re crying, your hand is to your chest. “(Y/n), it’s me, Hitoshi.” His hands are up as he walks to you slowly.

“It’s just me, okay? I need you to breathe.” You are pressed against the brick wall of the building. Your breath is erratic. Those eyes of yours dart around. “Take a breath, (Y/n). Please.”

You run away and out of the alley. The villain is out cold with a simple word from Hitoshi. He takes off after you. Surprisingly, you’re fast. He never thought you’d be running from him this long. You slightly trip as you turn the corner.

Thankfully, he has training. He swings his bind up at a streetlight and lifts himself up on top of a building. He hops on the buildings’ roofs and follows you that way. With one move, he is able to wrap his bind around you and lift you up to his arms. You scream from the lift and look shocked when you land in his arms.

“Please breathe, (Y/n).” You mouth, ‘put me down’. He follows your direction and sets you down gently. Quickly, you push him away from you. Finally, for the first time, he tells you what he thinks. He doesn't know why it happens.

Hitoshi takes his mask off roughly. “That’s it, that’s it! I don’t know what the hell I did to you but damn it, I don’t deserve it. I’m a hero now, (Y/n). A hero! My quirk isn’t judged and shouldn’t have been in the first place,” He lowers himself to your line of sight. “I am a hero. There’s nothing wrong with my quirk. Yet despite all those years you ignored me, hurt me, I’ll still save you.”

Your eyes tear up. Shit, he shouldn't have done that. You've just been through something terrible and he's yelling at you. Why did he anyway? “Are you going to apologize?”

His brows furrow and jaw drops. “Excuse me?” You shut your mouth. You’re being careful with answering his questions. “You can stop being scared, you know. I just want to know how the hell you get off.”

“Do you remember me?”

“Yes. We grew up together. We went to school together all our lives.” You start to glare at him. “Do you remember me?”

He’s confused and starts to think back when you interrupt. “I have lost so many memories of my childhood because of you and your disgusting quirk.”

You step closer. “In kindergarten, you got your quirk first and tested it out on me, repeatedly. Then the next year was the same and the same after that year. Finally, I became scared of you and when you came up to me, I wet myself from fright. You and everyone around laughed.”

You start to struggle. “Here I am terrified of the boy who I used to play with and you think it’s funny,” You chuckle with no humor. “I decided then and there that if no one was going to save me, that doesn’t mean I couldn’t save them. They may not care about me, but I care about them. Hitoshi Shinsou,”

You point. “I hate you. Years went by and I had to protect them from what you did to me. Because of your quirk use, I barely remember vital moments. My birthdays, teachers, friends from then and it’s not because of age!”

“Oh my God…” He whispers. He forgot all about that. Kindergarten was so long ago he doesn’t really remember it. He remembers you being there and playing with you. Now that he’s in front of you, watching as tears stream down your face and your lips wobble, he is plagued with the past that he forgot.

At first, he used you to show everyone his quirk. Then it developed into something fun. After that, it was to keep playing with him once he noticed you distancing yourself. Come to think of it, it was about third grade when he had become an outcast.

“In high school you did it to all of those people! And in the same breath say you want to be a hero!”

“I can’t help if that’s my quirk, (Y/n)...”

“No, but the way you use it and disregard their feelings is what makes you a villain! And you haven’t apologized yet! You’re a poser, a villain in white. Fuck you, at least Tomura was honest.”

You back away and turn around to the roof's door. “I’m sorry…”

You stop. “Are you sorry or is it your status now? Like Endeavor, only sorry after he got what he wanted?”

“I don't recall any of that. Not until now.” And it's barely registering. He knows his words aren’t empty but to your ears they must be so hollow they feel like air. You clench your fists and walk away. For the first time in years, his eyes water.

“What do I do?” Hitoshi thought about going to his friends, either ones he met in general studies or the hero course. He already went to his parents to see if they remembered you and surprisingly, they did. They just didn’t know what he had done to you. So, he went to his mentor.

“You’ve acknowledged the problem and feel remorse. That’s step one. Step two is atonement. It’s not a real apology if there is no action.”

He rubs his face. “What should I do, Eraser?” Hitoshi has gone over this several times in his head. He still is struggling to believe it.

“It’s up to you. You’re the one that knows her.”

No, he doesn't.

________________________

He walks home with his hands in his pockets. Everything is running through his head all at once. All this time he thought proving himself to be a hero was gaining his hero license and saving those who couldn’t save themselves. He judged Endeavor for his stupidity and villainy yet didn’t think of his own. Being a hero goes beyond a license and personal accomplishments. It goes past acknowledgment.

He’s wanted these things for a long time. As an underground hero, he is content, happy even. He achieved what he’s wanted all his life and does it his way. He’s a fool to think that he is a good person at heart who is just misunderstood. That's what he's always said about himself. That and how unfair the world is to judge and punish someone with a villainous quirk who is a good person overall.

Why the fuck couldn’t he remember what he did to you? How could he miss the signs? All this time he claimed he was the victim when in reality, he's a bully. How could he not see that he is not a true hero? How scared were you every time he came up to you?

He stops walking and looks up to the sky. It’s clearing up and the sun is coming out, shining brightly on him. His revelation stings and hurts his heart. Fuck acknowledgment, fuck accomplishments. He’s sorry and is a terrible piece of shit. He’ll show you that you’re safe from now on. Not because he has something to prove to the world. Not because he’s a hero now and heroes make things right. No, he’s going to do it because it’s you.

And it is you who matters the most to him.

62 notes · View notes

findmeinasunshower · 11 months

Text

𝑹𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔: 𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒐𝒖 𝑯𝒊𝒕𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒊

word-count: 3.1k

summary: shinsou's been seeing you for a few months now, and he's struggling to put into words just how he feels about you. here's how he figures it out.

warnings: weed, mentions of intimate times but nothing explicit, fluff :)

part i

It’s past midnight the first time Shinsou finds himself unable to look away from you.

No matter the season, it never gets quite dark enough in your neighborhood—it’s the reason Shinsou wanted to move here in the first place. He likes how the lights of the city reach like probing fingers even into this inconspicuous corner.

And he finds he likes the view even more when you’re framed in the center of it.

You’re seated on top of a washing machine in the crappiest laundromat he's ever had the displeasure of setting foot in, and yet you're gazing out at the neon lights curling off of the rain-blasted concrete like it's the most interesting thing you've ever seen.

He’s not sure what emotion has strung itself through his body, but he does know it grows larger every time he looks at you.

It started the first time he saw what you look like first thing in the morning, face bathed in gold as you blinked up at him sleepily and placed a chaste kiss on his chin. He hasn’t been able to get rid of the intrepid butterfly ever since. If it has a name, Shinsou’s never known it. And he can’t be the first to say it when it doesn’t have a name.

So it hovers in the air when the two of you find yourselves lounging on his fire escape at sunset, enjoying the last warm rays of autumn; spins a web even larger when you hip-check him as you cook dinner together, and even bigger two months later, legs tangled together on Hitoshi’s too-small couch and your chest moving against his as you simply breathe together, fingers intertwined.

It’s yours—Shinsou knows that much from the way it sticks to the roof of his mouth, unable to escape. It aches under his tongue like a sore, and the mere thought of it and his inability to figure out what the fuck it is makes him slam the washing machine hard enough to topple the detergent bottle on top of it.

“You smoke too much, hero?”

And suddenly, his earlier frustration evaporates like a puddle in the sun. Hitoshi laughs at the comical eyebrow you have raised and nudges your thighs apart so he can stuff his bed sheets into the third washing machine. You squint down at him playfully when he lingers between your legs after straightening up, and Shinsou suddenly decides the crook of your shoulder looks inviting.

The clock on the wall reads 12:13 a.m.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” you gripe teasingly when his hand slides higher on your thigh, but you’re already opening your arms for your boyfriend to slump into you. Hitoshi presses his nose against the hollow of your throat to catch the last fading notes of soap from the shower you took earlier and follows the crease of your hips with his hands until you're held securely in his embrace. He closes his eyes and breathes deep to fight off the yawn he knows is coming.

You loop your arms around his neck and begin to scroll through your phone behind his back. “It was your idea to smoke before coming here, so I’m not dragging you back if you fall asleep.”

“‘m not that high,” Shinsou mumbles into your neck. Your chest vibrates against him when you laugh.

“Sure, hero.”

Hitoshi has a retort at the forefront of his mind when he pulls back just enough to look at you, but it dissolves like sugar on his tongue when his eyes meet yours.

It’s here—looking at the way your eyes reflect the stuttering fluctuations of the laundromat’s eerie light, your half-dried hair, the way you’re biting down on your lip to keep yourself from smiling—that Hitoshi finally feels that indescribable something catch on the tip of his tongue.

There’s a name for this. He knows it.

He’s distracted even further when you pull back to smile at him, teeth tinged pink by the neon sign dangling in the window. “What are you smiling at, jerk?” you whisper, and Shinsou finds himself entranced by the way your nose scrunches with the force of your amused smile. “Busy thinking about how lucky you are to be in this shitty laundromat in the middle of the night?”

“Yes,” he replies immediately.

Your eyes widen at the speed the word drops from Hitoshi’s mouth, and the indescribable feeling deep in his chest regresses slightly again. Maybe he was too blunt. Maybe he's wrong.

But then your smile widens even further, and your fingers are tightening their grip on his shoulder blades. “Good. Because I was thinking the same thing.”

Hitoshi can't help the lazy, self-satisfied smile that spreads across his face before he kisses you and tucks the words into his heart for safekeeping.

~*~

Shinsou knows that the pro-hero lifestyle can strain relationships. He's seen it firsthand and he knows it well, which is probably why he never really cared for seeking out those types of things. His friends have always described him as picky, and he supposes that's true too.

You were the best surprise. You walked into his life and simply took a seat, and the moment you smiled at him, he knew he didn't have a choice but to ask you to stay. To find his own place in your life.

But Hero life takes a toll. And crossing that hurdle with you, the reality of his career…he didn't know what that would look like.

It's autumn again and Shinsou misses you. He's been stuck in Tokyo for a mission, and all the two of you have had for weeks now are texts or hushed and hurried phone calls that make his heart ache. And he was so tired that despite not a hint of disappointment existing in your voice, he couldn't help but feel disappointed in himself, that he was letting you down somehow for letting his job take him away from you for so long.

He bids goodbye to Midoriya the second the threat has passed and his role is fulfilled, and his friend smiles at him in a knowing way Shinsou doesn't know what to do with. He doesn't even retort when Kaminari calls after him, typical shit-eating grin evident in his voice: "In a hurry, huh MindJack?"

All Shinsou can think is that he needs you. Desperately.

It's almost morning by the time he slips in through your living room window. Your cat lifts her head and blinks at him once, sleepily, before deeming him not a threat and curling back up on her tree. He makes sure to give her a good scritch behind the ears before he heads into your room.

A thick wall of rain clouds has enveloped the city for the past week, so your room is still dark when he walks in. He's grateful to see you're still asleep—Shinsou's been awake way too long, even for him, and doubt started to creep into the edges of his mind long before he got here. He needs some time to just hold you before you wake up and have the inevitable conversation. Has he been gone too long? Was this separation and stress too much for you? Would you still want him?

He's tapping your shoulder before he can stop himself. You jerk awake with a start, eyes wide and scanning the room for threats before they land on him. "Hitoshi?"

The way he says your name is like a prayer. "Hey…" His voice catches in his throat. "I missed you."

You're groggy, but clearly awake now, and Shinsou's heart tightens as you scoot over toward the wall and lift your comforter in invitation. "Come to bed. You look exhausted."

He can't help the relieved laugh that punches out of him. "Ever astute, you are," he replies.

You giggle sleepily. It's adorable. "Come here, you. I missed you too."

And then he takes off his gear and accepts the invitation into your embrace and you're warm. You're warm and you smell good and familiar and your bed is so comfortable. And you don't complain that he hasn't showered in a few days, that he's fresh off a battlefield.

Shinsou wraps you tighter until you're practically nose to nose and your sleepy gaze meets his, eyes searching for what, he doesn't know.

You just tuck yourself closer to him and Shinsou wraps you tighter until you're practically nose to nose. Maybe this is when the questions come. But when you do ask a question, it's so unexpected he doesn't know what to doo with it.

You simply ask: "Everything finished?" And Shinsou's heart breaks in the best way possible. You don't ask him any more questions, don't expect anything more from him. You just let him hold you, and hold him in return.

He nods, unable to form words. You smile and nod back, then nestle back into his chest and promptly fall back asleep. Shinsou can't help the chuckle that rumbles through him at the quickness of the movement—for someone who complained consistently of sleep issues, it doesn't seem you've ever had any trouble when he's in bed with you.

He thinks, just before he is taken by the blackness of slumber, that if he doesn’t figure out a way to tell you soon, he might just lose his mind.

~*~

"Saw you on the news today."

Your friend (Boyfriend? Partner? You hadn't really discussed labels yet) stops abruptly, steaming cup halfway to his lips. His violet eyes are carefully blank over the plastic rim. "Did you?"

You hum in affirmation and tuck your arm through Hitoshi's, cuddling closer to him on the cold metal bench. Autumn descended quickly on Japan. Half of the park trees have already dropped their yellow leaves from the sudden burst of cold, and despite his cool exterior, Hitoshi tends to be a walking heater…and he finds he quite likes the feel of you pressed into his side.

Shinsou cups his hand over yours and settles back on the bench, pulling you to relax against him. A comfortable silence washes over the two of you, but he knows you well enough to know you're chewing over what to say next. And although he's nervous, you haven't done him wrong yet—in fact, you've done him right in ways Hitoshi didn't know he deserved. So, he's happy to wait and observe the park around you, one ear on the shrieking children on the playground next to you, and the other on the whirring of your thoughts next to him.

You'd always been curious about Shinsou's quirk, of course—He's a goddamn Pro. His quirk has to be insane in comparison to yours. But he never asked about your own, and that was…unique, to say the least. You met Shinsou as Shinsou first, and you liked being able to provide him that bit of anonymity. A true escape from the reality of his work. You figured his quirk would come up when it was important.

But then, you saw him on the news this morning alongside the numbers one and two heroes. You had nearly dropped your breakfast plate when an absolutely beaming Deku pulled Shinsou in front of the camera and praised him for his help diffusing a rather difficult hostage situation. But, that's all Deku said. No mention of Shinsou's Quirk, or how exactly he guided the crisis toward its end point. Just that there were no casualties and minor injuries. He was successful.

Hitoshi's attention turns back to you when you rest your cheek on his shoulder. He looks down at you, wishing he could see your face, but your eyes (that he swears are all-seeing) remain fixed on the park in front of you. He's just about to break the silence himself when he feels you inhale against him and ask: "The students are all okay?" Even though, you already know the answer.

Shinsou takes a shaky breath. Lets it out slowly, fights down the confused tilt of his mouth. "…Yeah. Everyone's okay."

You lift your head only to drop your chin on his shoulder, and Shinsou surprises even himself when he sputters out a laugh at the goofy grin on your face, the light in your eyes. "Way to go, hero," you whisper and straighten up to press a kiss to his chin. His smile falters at the feather-light touch and your eyes flicker briefly with concern. "What is it?"

"I love you." It comes out in a breath, nearly a wheeze, and the only reason you hear him is because you're so close. It's your turn for your smile to drop, but it comes back just as quickly. And then it's as if the first cold day of autumn doesn't exist because your smile is brighter and warmer than any sun Shinsou Hitoshi will ever hope to see. He smiles widely in return and slides a hand up to cup your neck, the back of your head, laughing in awe at the joy radiating out from you. "I love you," he's unable to stop himself from telling you again.

"I love you too, jerk," you whisper, and your smile clacks against Hitoshi's when he kisses you. One of his gloved hands passes down the length of your arm and you shudder, pressing closer to him on the cold bench. His other arm works around your back, pulling you half onto his lap, and you can tell by the satisfied hum he lets out that he thoroughly enjoys the way you gasp into his mouth.

And the way Shinsou looks at you when he finally pulls back and strokes a thumb reverently down your cheek have you saying: "Let's go home, hero."

~*~

He makes you breakfast in the morning.

You come to slowly, tilting your nose toward the smell of brewing coffee and stretching your beautifully sore muscles. You can't remember the last time you woke up feeling this well-rested, this content. "I love you," Hitoshi had told you yesterday…and he spent the entirety of last night showing you just how much he meant that. The smell of breakfast cooking in the wake of such fantastic events is just the cherry on top of the cake. A giddy smile stretches across your face and you fight the urge to kick your feet in the comforter like an overly-excitable toddler.

When you finally do get up, you head straight to your boyfriend's closet to steal one of his most coveted black sweatshirts—the ones he got from a brand deal about two months ago. You gave him a lot of shit when you opened up the package to see the hero's purple logo snug next to the designer's trademark, and to your surprise, Shinsou had blushed all the way up to his purple hair.

You pull on the sweatshirt with a happy little hum, then make your way slowly into his massive combined kitchen and living space. You hiss quietly when your bare feet make contact with the hardwood floor, and silently mourn not pulling on the ridiculously fluffy slippers Shinsou received from one of his friends (another package you gave him a hard time for receiving).

"Get back in bed."

A smirk forms on your lips at the demand, especially now that you know he could actually send you right back to bed if he wanted to. But, you also know that he never would.

The two of you had returned to his apartment in a flurry of hands and kisses, but Hitoshi had managed to peel you off of him long enough to gain your attention with a serious look. His revealing his quirk to you had been a turning point for you both, but especially for Hitoshi.

He fell in love with you just a little bit more when you simply nodded at his deep dark truth and said: "I trust you, hero. I feel like that should go without saying by now. Now, if you don't finish what you started, I'm going to scream."

You ended up screaming a little bit anyway, not that you complained.

You wrap your arms around Hitoshi's strong, slim waist when you finally meet him at the stove, and nearly topple backwards when he leans his weight back into you. "Hitoshi!" you squeal, desperately trying to tilt his heavily muscled body off of you. "You're gonna crush me."

"I thought I did that last night?" He spins around in your arms with a cheeky smile, just in time to see you blush furiously before landing a solid hit on his shoulder. "This is supposed to be a romantic, breakfast-in-bed type deal," Hitoshi continues, though the way he runs his hands up the length of your arms betrays him. "Now go back to bed."

"Mmmmm no." You smile and roll up onto your toes so you can press a kiss to Hitoshi's cheek before stepping out of his arms. He reaches out to pull you back, but you smoothly evade him and walk back around the counter to take a seat on one of the plush barstools. "I think I'd rather enjoy the view. Plus, I already smelled the coffee."

Shinsou scoffs playfully and turns the stove off. "And what, you think you're gonna get it sitting all the way over there?"

"I thought this was supposed to be a 'romantic, breakfast-in-bed type deal?'"

"That was before you decided to be difficult."

You roll your eyes playfully. "And to think I thought you'd be in a good mood this morning, jerk."

"I'm in a fantastic mood." You gasp when Shinsou's voice is right next to your ear—you had completely missed his approach. His smile is radiant as you sit up a little too eagerly, just barely avoiding smashing your nose against his as you do, and you roll your eyes again at the smug way he's watching you. "Do that again and your eyes will roll out of your head," he warns.

"If that were true, you would have been eyeless a long time ago," you retort. You're so close you can smell the coffee on his breath. "What, so no coffee, and no 'good morning' either?'" you ask.

Shinsou responds by pressing his lips firmly against yours. You relax against him with a sleepy sigh, but he keeps you upright with a hand on your cheek so he can kiss you deeply, thoroughly before slowly pulling away and whispering against your mouth: "Good morning."

You smile and press another quick peck to his lips. "Good morning, Hitoshi."

"Coffee?" he asks, though he still doesn't move away. You giggle as his nose brushes yours.

"It's cold, no?"

"Long cold," Hitoshi confirms, and you giggle again when he sneaks his hands along your waist (underneath his sweatshirt) to lift you easily from the barstool. He whispers the last of your conversation against your lips as he carries you back to the bedroom. "We'll make more later."

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