#1 backpack full of clothes; a bag full of legal things and medication; one of art supplies and my switch games;

[carbonateddelusion]

I Am Going To Spontaneously Combust

[monaisme]

Day 10: “i’m sorry. i didn’t know

Day 10: “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Peter came bounding into the penthouse, sopping wet from the storm outside, but smiling huge when he saw Ms. Potts sitting at the kitchen counter drinking a cup of tea and pouring over some legal documents for Stark Industries. “Hey, Ms. Potts! Guess who had a substitute in chemistry today?”

Ms. Potts spun around on her stool, smiling at the excited young man. “I’m assuming by your overall giddiness, it would be you?” She laughed and got up from her seat to grab a dishtowel for the boy to dry off with. “And what magical thing did this substitute do the put you in such a good mood—even as you look like you swam here?” She dropped the towel on his head and gave his hair a tousle.

With a flourish, Peter reached into his backpack and pulled out a small sandwich bag. “We made candy!”

Ms. Potts seemed both amused and confused at the whole thing. “That sounds like tonnes of fun and not very hygienic at the same time!” She laughed. “I’m not sure how I feel about this?”

“No-no-no! It was fine! Libby has a friend that goes to culinary school and—“

“Whoa there, Peter.” Ms. Potts interrupted. “Did you say Libby, as in “devoting her life to the children” when she’s not killing them with rose oil, Libby?”

Peter blushed in embarrassment. “Well, when you put it like that, I look kind of silly being excited, don’t I?”

Ms. Potts got that look on her face that made Peter think he’d done something ‘adorable,’ and he blushed all the harder. Yeah, people wondered why he wore a mask!?

“Ugh, fine! Yes, that Libby! But look!” Peter waved the plastic bag again, “She bagged it all at the end of the day so we could bring it home to share!” He thrust the bag out to her. “It’s cinnamon!”

She looked at the bag like it was going to jump out of his hand and bite her. “And I am going to be convinced to eat this how?”

“Ms. Potts, it was so cool! Mr. Harrington had some boring video scheduled as the sub lesson, but Libby has a friend that goes to culinary school and was able to get all these food grade beakers and stuff so we could play around with temperatures and chemical reactions and stuff—“

“Temperatures and chemical reactions and stuff?” She cocked an eyebrow. “Is that the technical terminology they teach you at that STEM school, Peter?”

Peter stomped his foot and let out a whine, “Ms. Potts! C’mon! It’s candeeeeee!”

She laughed gleefully. “Oh, Peter! You’re too easy! Fine. I happen to love cinnamon candy—not that Tony ever remembers.” She put her hand out in expectation. “Impress me.”

Peter pulled a candy out of the bag and placed it into the palm of her hand. “With compliments from the chef!”

“I don’t think that’s quite right, Peter,” she teased as she popped the candy into her mouth.

“Well, it’s my candy and I can say what I want... Ms. Potts?”

He’d ignored the confused look on her face when she’d put the candy in her mouth. Peter figured she was going to play the critic and ‘analyze’ his creation. But then his spidey-sense blared. “Ms. Potts? What’s wrong?”

Pepper looked terrified. She spit the candy from her mouth and brought her hands up to her throat, scratching pink red lines against rapidly developing hives—along her jaw, around her mouth...

Peter figured it out pretty fast. “FRIDAY! Epi-pen! Where?” Peter called out. He remembered when Betty had reacted to a coconut cookie and Mr. Harrington needed to administer an epi-pen. It had been terrifying, but they’d all learned how to do it after—for Betty, and now for Ms. Potts.

“There is an epi-pen in the miscellaneous drawer next to the refrigerator.” FRIDAY prompted immediately. “As well, I have notified the medical staff of the situation.

“Thanks, FRI!” Peter hollered and he vaulted over the island, knocking all of Ms. Pott’s papers to the floor—but there was no time. He yanked the drawer out, scattering contents in his haste to track down the tell-tale tube.

There it was!

He grabbed the epi-pen, rushing over to Ms. Potts who had sat herself on the floor in her weakness. “Here you go, Ms. Potts.” He assured her, and with a determination like he’d never had before, he pressed the pen to her thigh, waited for the click and counted slow. 1--- 2--- 3. Done. He tossed the pen away.

Ms. Potts was looking a little less panicked, and a little more on the verge of passing out. “FRIDAY, when’s the medical team getting here?” He massaged the injection site.

“ETA is one minute and thirty seconds, Peter.”

Peter gave Ms. Potts a quick once over, she was looking clammy and pale, and her breathing was sounding pretty not good. With that he made his decision. “FRIDAY, tell them there’s a change of plans. Have them meet us at the elevator on the med bay floor in forty-five seconds.”

“Message relayed, Peter.”

“And FRIDAY, bring the elevator to the penthouse level, now! Medical Emergency!”

“Understood, Peter.”

Ms. Potts was gasping and ready to pass out. They had to move.

Peter placed his arms under her knees and around her back. “I’m gonna get you help now, Ms. Potts, okay?” He asked.

She didn’t answer, but he wasn’t really waiting for one. Peter scooped her up and had her at the elevator as the doors slid open. He reassured her as the elevator went down to the med bay floor, but she was barely conscious when they got there.

It said something about the professionalism of Mr. Stark’s staff that they said nothing about the gangly sixteen year old boy carrying the full-sized adult woman with ease, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that they were just barely ready for her as he stepped out of the elevator and then she was being whisked away to get the help that she needed.

Peter stared, dumbstruck, as they all disappeared into one of the treatment rooms.

She’d be fine.

Right?

“Holy shit!” Peter whispered. Ms. Potts had almost died!

Peter stepped back and slid down the wall behind him. He needed a second to process exactly what had just happened.

Ms. Potts has almost died — and she had eaten a candy that Peter had given her.

Peter had almost killed Ms. Potts and he didn’t understand! How had this happened?

She’d said she loved cinnamon, right?

Unless... had someone gotten to Ms. Potts before Peter had gotten to the tower? What if someone was out for the two of them? Tony hadn’t mentioned any new threats or Peter would have kept a better eye out for anything weird. Tony knew that he’d have helped out with something like that in a heartbeat.

Ms. Potts had almost died, and if he hadn’t been there to help, he’d have been—

Well. He tried to push the thoughts of the gaping hole Ben’s passing had left in his life, but only compounded the grief and horror when he coupled it with the thought of Ms. Potts being gone, too.

His eyes burned and his breathing picked up.

She was fine.

She was fine.

She was fine.

Ms. Potts had almost died... but she was fine.

The elevator doors opened again, and a frantic Mr. Stark came rushing out and down the hallway.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter called to him, struggling to pull himself together while getting up from his spot on the floor.

Mr. Stark turned and came back to Peter, grabbed him by the shoulders, and looked him in the eye. “What happened, kid? They said she’s had an anaphylactic reaction to something but they’re not sure what she came in contact with!”

“I don’t know either, Mr. Stark! I was gonna ask if you knew—“

“Mr. Stark?” A nurse had stepped out of Ms. Potts’ room and was beckoning him in. “If you’d like to come in, she’s stable now.”

He looked to the nurse and then back at Peter, “We’ll table this for now, okay? I’m just gonna,” he pointed over his shoulder to the room his fiancée lay waiting for him.

Peter nodded, “Yeah, okay. I’m gonna wait here and make sure things stay okay, okay?” Peter’s thoughts were spinning.

Mr. Stark gave Peter a look of concern. “Okay.” He said hesitantly, and then jogged down the hall to Ms. Potts’ room.

The return to quiet was definitely not a good thing for Peter.

He sat again and tried to think.  

It didn’t make any sense?

Maybe there was something on the papers she’d been handling? Was there a glass on the counter that he hadn’t noticed? Would Mr. Stark allow him to use FRIDAY to analyze—“

“Kid?”

Peter’s head popped up at Mr. Stark’s call and he stood. It had only been a couple of minutes so Peter was confused. “Mr. Stark? Is everything okay?”

Mr. Stark stalked towards him. “No. Everything is not okay.” He growled low. “What did you do?”

“What? I gave her an epi-pen and rushed her right here. Why?” Peter looked over Mr. Stark’s shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever could be happening. “Did something else happen?”

Peter was getting scared.

“She’s allergic to strawberries and you knew it! Was it supposed to be a joke? Some sick prank? Why the hell did you give her something that could kill her!?”

“But the-- ?” Peter started.

“But nothing! That woman is my life!” he waved toward the room where Ms. Potts was being cared for with one hand; shoved Peter hard in the chest with his other. “And I thought YOU, of all people, would keep her safe!”

“Mist—“

“Stop!” Tony finally roared. “I don’t want to hear your ‘I don’t knows’ and ‘Mr. Starks.’ I don’t even want to look at you now. There are no three strikes with this one, kid. Get your shit out of my penthouse and get out of my tower. Someone will call you about the suit.” He seethed, and then turned and marched back to be with Ms. Potts.

Peter couldn’t process—couldn’t understand.

“mr. stark. the candy was cinnamon.”

His weak whisper went unheard and after a few minutes of blinking into the void, Peter turned around, called the elevator and left the tower, walking out into the storm.

* * * * * *

It had taken several hours and the guarantees of Dr. Cho and two separate nurses that Pepper would be just fine if he left her alone for a few hours, before Tony felt comfortable enough to head up to the penthouse to shower and change clothes. She was being kept for observation until at least tomorrow afternoon and had been sleeping almost the entire time he’d been there.

And there was no way Tony wanted to stay in a three piece suit for that long if he could help it.

He’d confirmed with FRIDAY that Peter had left the tower, shaking his head at the sheer gall of the kid. How he could just...

No. Tony had to shake it off. He’d made a mistake. Misread the room, if you will. He’d get over the juvenility and betrayal and move on.

... Except that the kid had left all of his shit in his home.

Tony grabbed the backpack, fighting the urge to chuck it off the roof of the building he was so mad—and then he saw the damned bag of candy.

How could Peter do something so horrible? He’d been so sure that they were a team... Hell, he thought that Peter had looked up to him—maybe even loved him? And he sure as hell thought the kid respected Pepper enough to not intentionally harm her! When that nurse had told him that Peter had convinced her to eat something with strawberry in it...

It didn’t make sense.

But what’s done was done and Tony needed to wash his hands of it before he lost his damned mind. No one hurt Pepper.

Grabbing his phone, he dialled May one last time. She’d need to know to expect a courier for Peter’s school items and he was dealing with this now. Pepper didn’t need to come home to that kind of stress.

“Hey, Tony! I’m glad you called!” May answered her phone. “Is Peter with you?”

Caught off guard, Tony replied, “No.”

“Well,” May continued. “He’s not answering his phone and that sub of his, Libby, has been trying to contact all of the students she had in Chemistry today, but especially Peter.”

Libby? “What are you talking about May?”

May sounded exasperated, “I guess the kids all made candy today. Morning Chemistry made cinnamon. Afternoon Chemistry made strawberry. She apparently sent the candy home with the kids but got the batches mixed up and...” May snickered. “I guess the school had talked to her about Peter’s newly discovered rose ‘allergy’ so she wanted to make sure that Peter wasn’t accidentally exposed to anything else he shouldn’t be.”

Tony thought she was done, hoped that she was because he needed to fix this epic screw up now, but she kept on, “I swear, Tony, that woman is a menace.”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat. “Uh, May? I think I messed up...”

* * * * * *

Water dripped into his eyes and off of his nose.

It had been hours and was dark now, but the storm was determined to outlast Peter as he stood in the alleyway across the Avengers Tower. It was okay, though. Peter was Spider-Man, even if his uniform was upstairs in the penthouse... um—wow—even if Mr. Stark was going to take his uniform away for good. Either way, he’d already learned that lesson.

He could handle a bit cold weather.

Peter had watched Colonel Rhodes, and Happy Hogan enter the tower via the front entrance over the last half hour, making Peter curious. He hoped and prayed that Ms. Potts was okay, but hadn’t really gotten any real information before he’d left.

Then his heart jumped. What if they were all here because something was wrong?! What if...?  

No. Ms. Potts was going to be fine.

Ms. Potts was going to be fine.

Please, God, let Ms. Potts be okay?

He shifted and scanned up and down the street, not wanting to miss anything.

The one plus was that he’d finally stopped shivering.

But that didn’t matter. Mr. Stark may not have let him explain, but Peter would do what he could to keep them all safe, even if Mr. Stark never wanted to see him again.

He blinked a little slower. Maybe he wasn’t feeling so cold after all, but he still needed to focus—

He’d sooner die than let someone take another family member away from him, whether they saw him that way or not.

* * * * * *

Rhodey was trying to understand. “So you accused Peter of trying to kill Pepper even though it was the teacher that had almost killed Peter messing up some pseudo-science experiment and giving him the wrong end product, right?”

“Right!” Tony yelled. “And now Peter is missing and his phone and suit are here and the storm is getting worse. I can’t leave Pepper, so I need you to go looking for him!” He looked desperate. “Please?”

Happy shook his head, “Boss, you really messed this one up.” He gave Tony a shoulder pat, the closest Happy could get to comforting. “I can head over to Ned and MJ’s and see if they’ve seen him.”

“And I’ll take a quick tour of the area, see if he maybe decided to stay close—muster up the nerve to come back to grab his stuff or something.” Rhodey stood up.

Tony ran his hands down his haggard face. “You’d think that after all this time, I’d learn to keep my stupid mouth shut before I know all the facts. Guys. This kid is... just...” Tony couldn’t find the words.

“We know, Tony.” Rhodey piped up. “We’ll get him back and you can fix this. Okay. He’s a good kid. He’ll understand.”

Tony rubbed his eyes and pulled himself together. “I hope so, Rhodey, I really hope so.” He clapped Rhodey on the back and led them to the elevator, “C’mon guys, I’ll walk you down before I go back up to the med bay. Pepper should be waking up soon and I still need to tell her what happened.”

They didn’t speak as the elevator descended, and Tony accompanied the men across the lobby to the doors in an attempt to delay the inevitable ass-chewing he’d receive from Pepper.

No one had thought to bring an umbrella, so they all stood looking at the rain—“He couldn’t have done this during the summer, huh?” Rhodey asked.

Tony glared.

Happy, however, was distracted by something going on across the street. “Hey, guys, what do you think that’s about?”

They all turned to watch a crowd gathered around the mouth of the alley across the street.

Tony blanched, “Guys, I don’t have a good feeling about this.” And like a shot all three men were outside and crossing the street to get to the chaos.

Tony got through the crowd first and saw him immediately. “Peter!” he called out as he knelt beside the unconscious boy. He put his hand to his forehead. “Shit!”

Happy and Rhodey made it through next. “Oh, kid.” Happy muttered, and then went right into Head of Security mode. “Alright, everybody, back up! Give the kid some room to breathe.

Rhodey leaned down to Tony, “C’mon, Tones. Let’s get the kid to the med bay. They can take care of him there.”

That seemed to snap Tony back to himself. With barely a grunt, he’d gathered the boy in his arms and made his way back to the tower. “C’mon, kid. You can’t do this to me. I have so many lego kits to buy you to make up for all of this...”

Without another word, the three men made their way, Happy stopping traffic for them to cross and Rhodey running ahead to alert FRIDAY and the med bay of their incoming patient.

After the tongue lashing he’d received from May earlier, he’d call her himself once he had a prognosis on the boy.

* * * * * *

Peter was warm, and he wasn’t sure why that mattered.

He’d been in the alleyway. He’d been staking out the tower ‘cuz Ms. Potts had been attacked and it couldn’t happen again—even if Mr. Stark didn’t believe him. He had to make sure that Ms. Potts stayed safe— Ms. Potts was...

“Ms. Potts!” Peter sat up in a flash, wildly looking for the person he needed to be okay the most. She was... she was...

She was sitting in the chair beside the bed he was currently occupying.

“Ms. Potts?”

She put down the book she had been reading and stood beside him. “Hey, sweetie. Why don’t you lie back down and get under those blankets before Tony gets back and freaks out about you not being burritoed in seventeen layers of fabric, okay?” She guided him back down to his pillows. “And, I think that you should be calling me Pepper, Peter.” She smiled softly. “I think it’s a rule when you save someone’s life and all.”

“Okay, Ms. Potts,” he answered. “If you say so.” He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He remembered how she’d looked, struggling for air, face swelling in reaction to... something? Now, he could see that her colour was better. She looked tired, still pale with visible redness along her neck and jawline, but she was breathing and the fear was gone from her eyes. “Are you okay now?” He had to ask.

She nodded, “Everything is fine now. I’m on the mend, you’re safe. It’s all we could ask for after the day we’ve had.”

Peter blushed, and then checked to see if Mr. Stark was anywhere in the vicinity.

“Are you looking for something, Peter?”

Peter must have been more stressed and tired than he thought because his eyes burned and he fought back tears. “I think I need to get going before Mr. Stark knows I’m here. He was,” Peter cleared his throat and looked down at his hands fussing with one of the many blankets on the bed. ”He was very clear that I was not to be in the tower, Ms. Potts.”

“It’s Pepper, Peter, and you are very much welcome to be here. It seems there was a misunderstanding and...”

“And you, Ms. Potts are supposed to be in bed right now.” Mr. Stark entered the med bay room.

“Well, dear Tony, I couldn’t very well leave Peter to wake up on his own, could I?” She teasingly replied, already rising up to return to her own bed only a few feet away.

He gave her a playful wink, “No, love, I guess you couldn’t.”

Peter starting inching off the bed. “I’m awake now, so I’m just gonna head back to—“ He’d almost said alley. Mr. Stark hadn’t wanted to hear about the threat earlier, so he’d find a way to prove that he hadn’t played a part.

“You are going nowhere, Mr. Parker. Not until I’ve had a chance to talk about what happened tonight and you reach a normal spider temperature, per Dr. Cho’s instructions, and not before.”

This was apparently all the permission Peter needed. “Mr. Stark, I promise you I was not the one to hurt Ms. Potts. I’d never! Not even as a joke! I couldn’t check with FRIDAY, but I was watching the tower and while I didn’t see anything suspic—“

“Hold on!” Tony interrupted. “You were watching the tower tonight? That’s why you were out in that rainstorm?”

Peter nodded.

“You were watching to make sure that Pepper was safe, even after I kicked you out of the tower?”

Peter nodded again. “Of course! I get why you’d have suspected me and especially why you’d be mad, but I knew it wasn’t me so that meant I had to start from nothing and I couldn’t ask FRIDAY, so... And then I worried that maybe Pepper wasn’t supposed to be the target and if you were so busy worrying about Ms. Potts that you weren’t being careful, well, then you could still get hurt so you needed someone to watch your back. And that was me.”

Tony stared at the kid in disbelief.

“Well, I watched as well as I could from outside.”

“And ended up with moderate hypothermia, you idiot.”

Peter frowned, “I’m sorry?”

Tony sighed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “No, Peter, I’m sorry. I overreacted to incorrectly conveyed information and ended up losing my absolute shit on you when you did absolutely nothing wrong.”

“Oh.” Peter didn’t know what to say to that.

“Pete, what happened tonight was the result of absolute carelessness. No one intended for anyone to get hurt but in the end, it seems that’s how it happened anyways.”

“I don’t understand?” Peter couldn’t follow.

“This afternoon, you gave Pepper strawberry candy.”

Peter immediately jumped in. “But I didn’t! Ned and MJ and I made it ourselves! I swear!”

Tony closed his eyes and silently counted to ten. Libby the ‘wunder-sub’ was going down once he figured out how to fix this with the kid. “Peter, Libby gave you strawberry candy instead of the cinnamon that you and Ned and MJ made.”

Peter was lost. “Why would she do that?”

Oh, Tony had opinions on that, but Pepper piped in from her bed to keep him from airing them. “She apparently had the morning and afternoon classes make different flavours, then didn’t label anything. She also chose to make sure that all of the candy looked exactly the same, using the same red food colouring, just different flavour additives. And then she lost track of which candy was which, and ultimately sent you home with the wrong one. Simple as that.”

Peter thought about that for a second. “So I’m the one that gave you the strawberry candy.”

“Yes, but—“ Ms. Potts tried to interject.

“No. I hurt you. I’m the one that gave you the strawberry candy. I didn’t check it or anything. If I’d just...” Peter couldn’t hide the guilt. “Ms. Potts.” He struggled to make eye contact, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I swear it to you.”

“Pete,” Tony jumped in but Pepper interrupted him.

“Peter, I know that. I’d trust you with my life—with good cause. You proved that today.”

Tony couldn’t stand what he was seeing in the kid, “Pete, Please. I’ve told you. I’m the one that should be sorry. I never should have said what I said to you. It was cruel and I’m horrified that I said any of it. Can you forgive me?”

Peter looked lost. “Mr. Stark, I get why you’d have reacted like that... and in the end you were right anyways. I did it. Please don’t apologize. I deserved every word of it, and probably more.”

Tony got real serious, real fast, “C’mon, kid, no one deserved what I said, Not even that idiot, Libby.” Why wouldn’t he kid believe him? “We know it was an accident, AND you saved her!”

“That doesn’t make me feel better, Mr. Stark, sir.”

“Then what will?”

Peter pulled the blankets up to his neck and snuggled in. “I’m going to close my eyes for a bit, Mr. Stark, sir. If you could let me know when Dr. Cho comes in so I can get checked. I’ll get out of your hair as soon as possible.”

“Peter, buddy, c’mon?”

“Thank you for everything, Mr. Stark. I think I just need a little time.”

“Time?”

Peter wouldn’t look at him, but whispered, “I destroy everything I love, Mr. Stark—and I won’t allow myself to do it again, no matter how much it hurts.” With those words, Peter rolled over and closed his eyes.

And Tony wondered when this awful world would give this poor, damned kid a break.

@febuwhump

[andisinger]

Ch. 1

This is the first chapter of A Horror Story that I’ve been writing. You can read the full story on wattpad, https://www.wattpad.com/954534334-a-horror-story-1 , or Archiveofourown, https://archiveofourown.org/works/14957675  

     I walked out of my dull, gray, college as the final bell rang in the background. Already, all ages from 18-22, were talking to their friends and walking to their cars with their keys jingling in their palms. I smiled at one of my friends, with short brown hair and mom jeans and a tank top, that I barely talked to; after getting to my gold, eighteen year old car, Martha, my cousin texted me asking for a ride. I texted her back to tell her where my car was. I unlocked my small, old, hanging door to put my galaxy designed, heavy backpack into the backseat. Martha came around the corner of the school, waving her arms and yelling towards me.

“Hey!”. I smiled and watched, waiting for her to hurry up. Her sandy blonde hair bounced lightly as the wind blew the perfectly imperfect curls bounced and waved across her face. Her dress was black but she had a red skater skirt underneath to make it “school appropriate”. She panted lightly as her Doc Martens padded gently against the concrete. Cars of all shapes, sizes, and colors drove away at all different speeds, mostly in the high twenties or thirties to escape the hell we had all attended for seven to eight hours not long before. 

    “You ready to go home?” I asked her getting in my car. She nodded and jerked the locked passenger side door handle. I always only ever kept my driver door unlocked so I chuckled. “Gotcha.” I joked and pushed the unlock button forward while hopping in and starting my car. Her small hum and nice cold air flowing throughout the car created a pleasant change from the boiling air and wind brewing and stewing in the sun outside. I quickly drove through the parking lot and onto the road. Martha typed on her new Iphone then turned up my speakers. The music began to bump in the back as she smiled and rolled down the window and sang along. Smiling with her, I began to horribly sing along while driving the legal fifteen miles an hour in the high school zone that I had left two years ago and being stopped by numerous crossing guards for children who either started high school or didn’t have a car, or, they parked in the church parking lot about half a mile down the road. I took a right turn at the small road and continued to drive towards my home. Once at home, Martha and I hung out for a while, relaxing for a short while, then turning to focus on our homework for college anatomy class. I highlighted throughout my medical anatomy book and sighed as I turned the page. Empty of the green I used to identify the different ligaments, muscles, and bolded words. I used the yellow to highlight where the said ligaments, muscles and other things were strung out through the body. The orange was how the bolded words were described as looking like. But this new page was different, even if only for a moment. I continued to highlight until Martha spoke up. 

“Should we get food?” I looked at her. 

“Without a doubt, yes.” I looked out of my window from my bed and saw it was night time now. I felt confused then looked at my clock; 9:43. I rolled onto my back and put my hands on my eyes.     I thought sleep could wait; opening my eyes, I was confused; confused about how it was night and how Martha and I had been studying all day, from 2:15 to now and my brain didn’t hurt. I was especially shocked at how my brain didn’t hurt because, aside from the constant stream of knowledge for six plus hours, the serious lack of decent sleep. Furrowing my brows, Martha came back into the room with her Ipad and her credit card. 

“Should I really stay in?” I asked rolling my hair to the opposite side of my part on my scalp. She looked at me oddly and chuckled. 

“Who doesn’t want a good TV show and some heavily greased pizza.” She said but also questioned. I nodded and agreed.

”Okay”. Sighing, I looked at the Golden Retriever pup that was sneaking in through the open door. His tail wagged happily as he hopped up on my bed, startling Martha. Bright smiles were instantly plastered across our faces while Beaux panted and his tail wagged. Both of our hands reached out to touch the soft tufts of fur on his neck. 

“He looks like a lion.” Martha said in a sweet voice as she kissed his nose. I smiled and agreed once more.

“A young lion that hasn’t grown into his mane yet.” 

“I ordered the pizza, what Tv show do we want?” She questioned. I thought for a moment of a tv show we could both enjoy and were about in the same place.

“How about Pretty Little Liars?” I asked leaning back on my elbows and looking at her. 

“Why?”, Martha started pouting.

“No one in high school dresses like that. Or looks like that.” She said, to which I agreed. 

“No one in high school wears that much makeup and never does their homework only to stay up until five in the morning just chasing around a suspected kidnapper slash murderer.” I continued. I instantly thought that I went into too much detail about why I thought the show was dumb and mentally kicked myself for doing it again. I always did that; I thought too much and kicked on the joke for as long as I could. I bit my lip as Martha went quiet.

 “I think the show is a little full on itself because of how-” I looked at Martha, not knowing what she said but surprised of how she always knew when I didn’t feel the best of myself. Beaux began to whine and we looked at him. As young or old as he is, a little over a year now, he still thinks he needs to be the center of attention. Both Martha and I petted him again, sending him onto his back to pet his tummy. Smiling and laughing we both heard the doorbell at the backdoor. 

     “I got it!” I said hopping up quickly as she continued to pet Beaux and speaking to him in baby talk. My little white, fat Maltese followed behind me, barking loudly, sounding like a chicken. 

“Pinky, hush.” I said opening the door, smiling at the heavier man in a red shirt holding a black bag for the pizza box. 

“A large, pepperoni pizza, with extra garlic dipping sauce.” I smiled and nodded.

 “Alright, here you go. Enjoy.” I took the pizza inside towards my bedroom. The lights were turned off and a very ominous tune of piano and cello sounded as I sat on the bed. 

“Pizza?” I questioned, the box was set between us with my laptop at our knees. The pizza slowly disappeared throughout the night as only occasional funny requotings from me and comments about how Martha liked someone’s outfit. At about three in the morning, Martha had gone to sleep and I was almost on the trail behind her. I tried to push myself and make some coffee in the kitchen before the backdoor opened with a squeak from the storm door before a hard push finally got the door open. The sound got the dogs barking up a storm waking up Martha. My head shot towards the door to see my brother in his work clothes and boots, with dark stains covering his hands and arms, petting Beaux and kneeling on the fireplace. 

“Hey Michael!” Martha said, rubbing her eyes. 

“Is that coffee?” She asked, looking at me but walking towards Michael. 

“It is.” 

I said closing my lips tightly, I had a feeling that as soon as Michael came home, Martha would instantly flock to him and I wouldn’t see her again for a while. I made myself a cup of Joe with real sugar, and also creamer. Drinking it slowly, I enjoyed the flavor, the intensity of the black coffee, with the lightness of the sugar and creamer mix. Martha and Michael caught up while I stood in the kitchen, my body exhausted and my brain beginning to ache. The feeling of hot coffee in my belly helped the feeling of my skull expanding as Martha shot into the kitchen for a mug. Moving out of the way, Michael followed our cousin and smiled at me. 

“What up, dude?” He asked. I swallowed my mouthful and repeated his question. Once Martha’s coffee was made, she mentioned something about a going to graduation field trip. Which was odd to me because we would be in graduation in almost a month. 

“But we’ll be in our careers in a little bit.” I said drinking my coffee, Martha looked at me with her brows dropped and a discouraged look. 

“No, this is a summer thing. I guess you could say it’s a week or two without parents.” She explained. 

“Okay, cool.” I said with my new current understanding that there will most likely be sex, drugs, etc. I assumed I wasn’t invited because I was never really into that kind of thing. I simply couldn’t wrap my head around the fact and interest of drinking and getting high, or feeling like I was floating or seeing weird, crazy things on some sort of pill or tablet. 

“You want to go with us?” Martha asked. I assumed she was asking Michael because I was looking down into my coffee and swirling it into a circle. Looking up, she lifted her brows at me. “Me?” I asked, lifting my brows in return. She nodded excitedly to which I nodded also excited. 

A few weeks later, we graduated from our small shabby college and we were ready for our trip the next morning. Martha and I were at her house, a small warm place that smelt permanently of  marshmallows. Her room was bright as the bags under my eyes felt larger with each passing minute. During graduation, I was hardly able to keep my eyes open but I luckily managed to force my way through the hour and a half escapade of shit. The sun made the curtains look like an angel was guarding me for a little while, which I felt was all I needed. To be safe for just a little while, just a short thirty minutes or so. Laying on my back, the few sentences Lisa said to me made little sense as I closed my eyes without realizing. Falling fast asleep, I could feel every muscle in my shoulders and my back relaxing. The sensation made my body feel warm; like a blanket from the inside. I smiled as I slept, so Martha said. The next thing I knew, my cousin was shaking me awake, which startled and scared me. 

“I’m sorry to wake you, but Derek’s here.” The smile on her face said it all. This guy, Derek, she had met in her final semester at college in one of her classes. I forget which class she said it was, but all she could do is describe how perfect he was. His hair, his scruff, his few tattoos that he had; my cousin just knew that I would fall in love with him the moment I saw him. 

I got off the bed in excitement. 

“How’s my hair?” I wondered while smiling. The time that I usually spent working at my barn, I always had ratty, unkempt hair and I never really thought anything of it, so I always had to ask my fashionista of a cousin how I looked so I knew I looked presentable. 

“Brush it.” Martha demanded handing me the brush off her armoire. I brushed my long hair quickly. 

“Better?” I asked, holding my arms out, I still felt so nervous but I wasn’t quite sure why. Martha smiled and gave me two-thumbs up. Finally going downstairs, I was so nervous, I felt like I wanted to back out. As I came around the corner of the stairs, laughter could be heard from my aunt and uncle in the kitchen. My black boots were sticking slightly to the floor, as my cousin was so excited that she held my hand and would occasionally turn to me with her bright, grey eyes and a large smile to match. My heart was pounding in, what felt like, my throat as I turned the corner into the kitchen. The sunlight reaching through the large, farm style window swallowed the room with everyone inside. My aunt smiled at me with a welcome hug before introducing the handsome man sitting at the bar. 

“This is Derek. Derek, this is my niece, Annabel.” Sticking his hand out, I took it with a tight grip. Just like my mother taught me.

“Ana, nice to meet you.” I said looking into his sparkling grey eyes.  They just looked so bright and welcoming. His black hair was covered in a maroon beanie and his arms were crossed, resting on the counter, showing he was comfortable. His smile exposed his bright flawless teeth. He shook my hand quickly before I dropped his hand. Looking back to my cousin quickly, I could feel his eyes on me then his head moved back towards my cousin. 

“My bags are all packed. I’m ready to go.” She said with a bright smile. She stood on her toes then rolled back onto her heels. 

“Are you ready, Ana?” I nodded with a large smile on my mouth as I crossed my arms in front of my chest. 

“I just have to grab my stuff from upstairs.” I told my cousin, to which she promptly turned and walked quickly upstairs, leaving me awkwardly with my Aunt and Uncle and stranger but possible partner. 

“I saw your graduation! You looked beautiful.” My aunt said with a bright smile as she leaned back gently against the counter behind her. 

“Thank you.” I said nodding then returning to the silence around us. Once my cousin returned as soon as our quick conversation was over. 

“Let’s go.” Martha said, holding my pink backpack in her hands. All my clothes for the next week and a half. I let Martha lead the way out the door and as I held the door open for her, I felt a hand on my back. I turned to look at the owner of the hand to see Derek smiling at me. I turned back to walk out the door with my cheeks burning. In the bright driveway was parked a large van. It was obviously a few years old but looked very clean and well taken care of. Martha slung the back door of the van open and hopped inside. I was following her until I saw Lisa’s boyfriend in the backseat already. I smiled and waved to him once I saw him. Obviously, Shane and Derek were friends and had the same class as Martha otherwise, I doubt Shane would be here. Asking for my bag from Martha, I took it from her hands then turned to open the door. Derek stood there silently with the door handle in his hand and the van door wide open. 

“Thank you.” I said slightly shocked before getting into the front seat. 

“You’re welcome.” Derek said to me with a smile before closing my door. Turning around to my cousin, I smiled. 

“I like him.” I said nervously. Martha and Shane smiled with me until Derek got in the driver's seat. 

“Everyone buckled and ready?” He asked only earning everyone's “yes”; turning on the van, taking us to our vacation. 

“So, where are we going for this vacation?” I asked, looking around me. 

“We found this awesome abandoned summer camp.” Martha said. 

“How far away is it?” I questioned. 

“Like 8, 9 hours away.” Derek said taking a right out of Martha’s neighborhood. 

“Anyone else going to be there?” I asked. 

“A few more couples should meet us there. They might already be there.” Shane said answering the last of my questions. Feeling awkward in the quiet, Derek handed me a thin, black cord that fed into the van. Taking it from him, I plugged it into my headphone jack then chose an app specifically for music. Loud, happy, exciting music bounced through the back of the van and drowned out Martha and Shane’s talking. I could hear Derek humming along with the song before I decided to break the ice. 

“What’s your major?” I asked looking over at him. His profile was amazingly handsome; his nose was perfect, no imperfections that I could visibly see. He smiled and looked at me, “Anesthesiologist.” I nodded with a smile. 

“What about you, Ana?” He questioned, the sound of his voice was incredible; a deep, sultry, almost dirty and gravelly. 

“Radiology.” He looked at me before leaving his right hand on the steering wheel and then looked at me with a half smile and covered half of his lips with his left hand then returning his eyes back to the road. 

“Emergency or Pediatric?” He asked as we got onto the expressway. 

“Neither, Ultrasound tech.” I watched the cars drive past us quickly on either side of us, in every lane. The sky above us was a bright blue color with the occasional white cloud that would float in front of the sun to shade our spot of the earth for such a short time. The beautiful sight combined with the sounds of the music made for a perfect drive. Derek and I would occasionally turn our heads to look at each other then I would immediately look away blushing. 

Once we stopped for gas, Martha and Shane offered to pump it, to which Derek gratefully agreed. Walking inside of the small shop, I looked around for snacks and a drink. Grabbing barbecue twists, water, and many other snacks, I walked to the front counter with my wallet. “Will this be all for you?” The woman asked kindly as she scanned the items on the counter. The woman’s eyes looked from me to someone behind me; then I suddenly felt a hand on my back, turning quickly to see who it was, I was greeted with Derek. 

“Hi.” I said with a smile. 

“Hi.” Derek responded with a smile as well. 

“Your total is $23.42.” The clerk said. I went to open my wallet quickly but Derek interrupted my actions.

“Allow me.” I looked to see what he was doing and saw he was pulling cash out of his wallet then handing it to the kind clerk. 

“No, Derk, I can’t let you do that.” I said turning to him. 

“Ana, it’s our first date. It’s my honor.” He said with that familiar smirk. Smiling to myself, I nodded. 

“Okay.” The clerk handed me a crinkling bag of snacks before Derek and I left with a “Thank you.” Martha and Shane passed Derek and myself on our way back to the van. Sitting inside, next to Derek, we sat talking while Martha and Shane got their snacks. The next thing I knew, we were back on the road with the music playing, Derek and I talking and the front windows down. Before I knew it, it was dusk and we were still on the road. 

“Hey, we only have a few hours left in this drive. Not too much further.” I looked over to Derek with an exhausted smile. Martha and Shane were still talking in the back but I just felt so tired. “Go ahead and go to sleep. I’ll wake you up once we get there.” Derek said calmly in his deep voice. I nodded, closing my eyes. My body relaxed after a while and I was off in a dreamless sleep. 

I was suddenly being shaken. A man’s voice near me, loud laughter off in the distance, bright lights surrounded me. As I blinked, my vision cleared and before me was Derek. 

“Good morning. Or night rather. We made it.” He said smiling. Looking around, I saw at least four more cars with their lights on. Martha and Shane were greeting their friends while Derek and I were close to each other in the van. 

“What time is it?” I asked. 

“10 or 11.” He responded before helping me out of the van. Humming, I looked at everyone, some I recognized and others I didn’t. Eva walked over to me with a wide smile and her arms open. 

“Ana!” She said embracing me. I hugged her back then looked at her with a smile. 

“You look beautiful!I haven’t seen you in forever!” I said happily looking up and down at her. Her caramel colored skin and beautiful black hair with her dark green eyes. 

“This is Derek. Derek, this is Eva. We’re friends from high school.” I said. Eva and Derek shook hands then nodded happily. 

“Ana, this is Karey.” A black haired girl with almost completely white skin and bright, straight teeth shook my hand. After I met everyone in a quick blur, we all sat around a fire that was made quickly. The yellow fire had bits of red sparkling through it as we roasted marshmallows and cooked hotdogs or ate whatever snacks we had. 

Couples sat in different positions; Martha was sitting on Shane’s lap, Eva was sitting between Shawn’s legs, Karey was wrapped in Josh’s arms, the other couples' names that I had already forgotten were cuddled in a blanket while Derek and I mimicked Eva and Shawn. Derek was warm behind me and the fire was warm and burning in front of me. All couples could talk for hours. It must be at least 2 or 3 in the morning because the fire was dying. Some of the men went for wood nearby to throw on the fire. Just as our conversations and laughter were fading out, a couple stood and offered a brown bottle and a pipe, exciting the group with hollering and cheers. I sat quietly with a smile on my face and then looked at my cousin. She shook her head referring to the drugs and alcohol. Looking up at Derek, a smile was on his face, I suddenly felt nervous, I hated being around people when they drank or were under the influence. As the bottle was passed to us, I heard Derek take it and immediately pass it to the couple next to us. Derek bent down next to my ear then spoke quietly.

Want to go to the van?” Looking up at him once more, I nodded. Getting up, I heard encouraging words directed towards both Derek and myself to which I blushed. Getting back to the van, Derek threw the back door open to put the back seats down for a makeshift bed. 

“Come on in.” He said. Smiling to myself, I got in behind him then sat next to him. For the next few hours, while everyone drank and smoked, which I could easily smell in the van from where we were a good distance away, Derek and I talked for a long time. Not about anything in particular, just talking about life, hopes and dreams, among other things. Before I could realize what was happening, Derek and I had our lips pressed together. Kissing each other passionately, it felt right, it felt good and correct. Pulling away, I licked my lips then smiled. Derek’s hot breath gently brushed my long hair past my shoulders as he chuckled with a smile. 

I felt that neither of us knew what to say so we just gently put our hands on each other and kissed again. The kissing seemed to never end as I went on my back while continuing to move our lips in sync with each other. A sound from outside of the van made me pull away. 

“Did you hear that?” I asked. Derek pulled away to listen with me; I felt like something was watching us. I felt unsafe as Derek sat on his knees above me. 

“It might just be the wind or someone peeing in the woods.”He said. 

“No. I..I think there’s something out there.” I sat sitting up on my elbows looking out the side window. Listening carefully, anxiety and fear swelled in my chest, pushing my stomach up into my throat causing my breathing and heart rate to increase significantly. With a sudden crash, Shawn slammed himself on the window causing me to jump and scream. Hearing his drunken laughter, I cursed at him. 

“Fuck you, Shawn! You scared the shit out of me!” Putting my hand on my chest, I put my head down while Derek opened the door then closed it. I assumed to applaud him but, to my disillusion, Derek was shoving the drunken fool. Some of the girls were yelling trying to pull them off of each other while some of the boys were laughing, still off their ass drunk or high. Opening the door quickly, I ran over attempting to stop the, what was about to be, fight. 

“Derek!” I yelled repeatedly while listening to the two boys, with raging testosterone. “What the fuck, man? Way to be mature.” Derek said pushing him by the chest, sending Shawn to the dirty ground. 

“Why do you care? You’ve never met her before? It was just a fucking joke.” Shawn said, stumbling to his feet. 

“You’re drunk.” Derek said, starting to walk away while shaking his head. 

“You-” Shawn started until Derek turned around with such an angry, hard look on his face. A familiar feeling of fear swept through me simply from the amount of anger spread on his face alone. Shawn saw and sensed it too and stopped his sentence in advance. Shawn was caught off guard and fell back once more but not to the ground. 

“I’ll back off, man.” The drunken idiot said before turning around chuckling. Once again, Derek turned to me. Wrapping my arms around myself, my eyes looked at the ground. Brown leaves of every kind of tree in the forest around us. A hand fell gently on my back once more and I shied away from it. Sighing, Derek put his hands on his hips. I could hear him lick his lips while the fire crackled in the distance and all the friends were asking if Shawn was okay. The laughter quickly returned before I walked back to the van with Derek. I silently got ready to go to bed as it was early in the morning and I was still exhausted. 

“Ana, please.” Looking at him, I smiled weakly. 

“What?” I questioned while returning to my bag. The softest night shorts anyone has ever felt and they were super cheap; the wonders of Walmart. A night sweater to match. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me.” He said sitting still and gently playing with the lining of the open sleeping bag beneath us. 

“It’s fine but, I mean, I don’t know why you did that. I mean, Shawn is right; you barely know me. You’ve only met me this morning.” I stated while taking off my black, shredded shorts. Quickly putting on my light, baby pink shorts, My top was next; shredding myself of my long sleeve, striped blouse, I covered myself quickly before hiding from Derek’s eyes and everyone else’s as well. Then putting my matching pajama sweater on, I looked at Derek. He was leaning against the driver’s seat looking at me with his knee resting against the driver side rear door of the van. 

“Look Ana, I didn’t have a great childhood. I watched my mom be beaten and abused by my dad and almost every other guy that came into her life. I-” Before he could finish his sentence, I interrupted him. 

“I want to go to bed. Please." I felt so awkward and in an uncomfortable situation as I have never been in anything closely resembling this. Never in my entire, 22 years of life, have I witnessed someone talking to me in such a desperate tone. Derek nodded and agreed. Laying down facing the passenger side rear door, I was covered with a whoosh of cold air then the familiar warm comfort of another sleeping bag in addition to the unfamiliar feeling of a warm body against my back and wrapped around my torso. A hand underneath the pillow my head was on with my eyes closed while another hand was laced with my own near my breasts that were only covered by my thin night hoodie sweater thing. Almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was fast asleep.