#1) not looked up what that means

[turtleblogatlast]

I am once again reiterating that Leo could and should be a figure skater because what are ice skates if not twin blades? What is dual blade swordsmanship if not a dance-like performance? Using the skates as blades themselves could let Leo make portals be his ice rink no? I rest my case. ⛸️

[jemmo]

Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

[skitskatdacat63]

+ bonus :)

Thank you for all the votes on the poll :D unfortunately however I decided to follow my own destiny </3 also sorry if I forgot to include anyone! Was mostly going off mutuals who voted/are Fernando fans and others who reblogged the poll :)

[spearxwind]

not fucking AI generated art on the tumblr radar 💀💀💀💀💀

[lamaiemiei]

ultrakill girlies (and guys) i am going insane over frilly shit and using the world's most basic brush that's findable on default csp (i have nothing else to do while waiting for school to start again) (i did not see the time flying as i drew these jfc)

closeups below the cut!! (including ribbon vumo)

just like the last drawing, the brand is Loveran! also the names of the sets are written next to the drawings !(official site: x )

the numbers just represent what order i drew these in fyi

[oflgtfol]

quick like 3 hour thing to sate my desire to see Narinder But As A Bishop. i tried to emulate the game style as much as possible, and i used shamura and heket as the primary references for the robe design

[spiiiiiral]

sorry but another thing i find absolutely endearing about gyutaro is his.. weird, dome, genetic bob of hair that just sticks up.. it looks so silly (｡o ᴗo`)

[lee-hakhyun]

i see people thinking that the side story is the bad ending for kim dokja. and don't get me wrong, he doesn't come back after the door opens, but that is because kimcom CHOSE that.

they had the option to open a door where kim dokja woke up, but they chose to go through the door where he doesn't wake up because they know that first door is a trap (like 49/51), and they want all of kim dokja. and when they go through, kim dokja is gone, but he's left a note. he is STILL OUT THERE (and part of him is with lhh right now. it's complicated)

anyway this is just to say KIM DOKJA IS BACK IN THE SIDE STORY. he is just not with kimcom *yet*. i need to make this clear because i keep seeing people saying things that sound like people think he's gone for real in the side story.

[mllenugget]

I have only one word and one word only : CRI CRI CRI CRI CRI CRI CRI CRI CRI

"I intended to skip Purgatory 2 to catch up faster on VODs since I was told they were unrelated lore-wise But my biggest mistake was to vibe check all the new players - I was not expecting to completely fall head over heels for Team Capybara, hot damn I love them all so much ????" - Me, February 2024

────────────────────────────────────────── Support all the admins that spoke out (& do your daily click) ──────────────────────────────────────────

I took @sunshinetomioka's werewolf Guill headcanon and ran with it btw, credit to it

[up-in-flames-writing]

In lieu of Stuff Your Kindle day, can we talk about the issue of how the m/m genre of books, romance or not, is almost entirely dominated by women? Can we talk about how the most recognisable gay couples in media are written by women? Can we talk about how queer men can't even write about ourselves, how we are only allowed to exist when it's from the point of view of a straight woman sexualising us?

Can we talk about that? Or am I going to get called misogynistic for pointing out the disparity between who gets the writing deals, & who gets their books turned into movies, & whose shit gets popular versus whose doesn't? Can we talk about how m/m fiction is only allowed when it appeals to a cishet gaze, or is that too much for tumblr to take?

Can we also talk about how trans queer men are even more hated by publishing? Can we talk about how we get shit from both sides? Can we talk about how books about the experiences of being a queer man, written by queer men, never get the same recognition as books written by women on this subject (barring academia which has its own problems)?

Can we talk about that? Can we?

[yrsonpurpose]

CHARLES LECLERC Post Race // Japanese GP 2023

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Leonardo: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka.

Dazai: *upends the bottle*

[uncanny-tranny]

I think as we grow up, we have to be really conscious of romanticizing the world we grew up in in order to scorn how the next generations are growing up.

Nostalgia isn't inherently bad, but especially in political spaces, be very wary of this idea that there is an Ideal Past we must Harken Back To.

It sucks to feel left behind, but such is the human condition. It isn't bad to feel nostalgic, but that doesn't mean that these new generations are inherently "lost" and "need to be saved (by you)", and I think that is very important to remember and try to be conscious of.

[grison-in-space]

Since the dental Tribble has been on a strict no kibble, no crunchy, no chewing diet. (In a week or so she'll be allowed to use her teeth again a bit more, but no one wants to see a dog get dry socket.) Spouse feels that canned dog food (perpetually on hand to make into pupsickles) is not experienced as filling enough, and we do know that Tribble has done better on grain inclusive foods for the past decade, so... the rice cooker has been simmering with chicken stock rice too bulk out the canned food all week, and Matilda and Benton have both gotten a fair bit of overflow rice as a treat.

Unconnectedly, tonight happens to be my first night alone as the sole human all evening in quite a few months. Matilda has been doing her job of enforcing bed, of course, but I can also rely on other humans to help make routine happen if she's too tired to be on it.

If I was worried that Tilly hadn't worked out her evening routine enforcement functions before now, I shouldn't have been. I don't think I've ever seen a dog so excited to move the evening along towards the part where dinner and the good cookies are.

[foe-paw]

bro i just got knocked clean off my socks by a podcaster's description of a Stephen King character made in such a way that i finally, finally, understood the reference behind Uncle Wiley's character.

first, the stephen king wiki description on randall flagg:

Flagg is described as "an accomplished sorcerer and a devoted servant of the Outer Dark" with general supernatural abilities involving necromancy, prophecy, and unnatural influence over predatory animals and human behavior. His goals typically center on bringing down civilizations, usually through spreading destruction and sowing conflict.

huh! that sounds kind of familiar! alright, on with the podcast excerpt-

Randall Flagg, he's the dude we're all here for, in one way or another, right. Because… Just to let you know, if you're a listener who has not read a lot of Stephen King, if you're here because you like hearing us talk about it rather than reading it yourself, Randall Flagg is in some ways the lynchpin around which all of Stephen King's later work is going to be built upon. He's going to leave this novel and he's going to show up in other novels. Randall Flagg is the Walkin' Dude, and he walks a lot. He is, uh- in- in the way that I think that if you're not a Stephen King reader, you probably associate Stephen King's ultimate embodiment of evil as Pennywise, because I think Pennywise has a much sharper popular culture profile. But Randall Flagg is really Stephen King's archvillain. And he is… He is the Heath Ledger Joker. He's also, kind of the Jared Leto Joker. He is also kind of the Jack Nicholson Joker! He is every Joker. Right? He's an Ur-Joker. — It's very funny that you just said he's not Pennywise. — Yeah. But he is the Joker! — Yeah, yeah. He is an agent of chaos who is calculating. — We get introduced to him - and I actually, I think the rest of the books kind of ruin Randall Flagg for me. Because Randall Flagg is really intriguing when we meet him here. He, uh, he's a drifter- so, again, we have these parallels. Nick Andrews, who is a drifter, but he's like, the good drifter… Randall Flagg is the bad drifter, who doesn't go from town to town to work, we get the sense that he just - he doesn't even remember his own past, right? There's something really weird about him right off the jump, he doesn't have a good sense of who he is and he does not care. He just has, like, weird memories of, like- impossible memories, right? Hhe remembers going to school with Charles Starkweather. He remembers riding with the KKK. He remembers, like, helping the weather underground build bombs. It's suggested that he's hanging out with Donald deFreeze and the SLA when they come up with the plan to kidnap Patty Hearst. And he's just a guy, he wears cowboy boots, he wears jeans, he wears a denim jacket, he's got pockets that are filled with all sorts of extremist literature? And, this is important- it's not just, like, extreme right-wing, right? It's extremism of any type. Right? Randall Flagg is the nightmare embodiment of horseshoe theory in a lot of ways. —Yeah. We talked a lot about liberal centrist Stephen King, and I think it should be instructive to everyone that his ultimate villain is just extremism of any kind. Like, any political statement that- or any political belief that is, like, outside the Overton Window, that's Randall Flagg. — He just, he has no ideology other than the sowing of chaos, right? Making everything worse is his goal and he doesn't have a very clear memory of his own life, the events are kind of strange, but also, and he has in his first chapter, right? He's walking down the highway and he always has- the phrase that is always used to describe him is that he "looks like a man with great good humor", right? He's always smiling, he's always laughing, but it's a mean and evil laugh.

from the Just King Things episode about The Stand.

i just feel so relieved because i've been kind of turning wiley's bizarre fucking sartorial choice of double denim in my head like a dog with a very confusing bone, but that decision is way less inscrutable if the source for the double denim turns out to be the bad-guy imaginary of Stephen King in the 70s sdkjskdjskdjskdj.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

(OLD OC SKETCHES) Meet Sunnabelle Von Sunnoviche, final daughter of the Sunnoviche family. Peeking from behind a window, she witnessed a wizards final spell, one that reduced the world to a wasteland. Her noble blood damned her to [HELL], but unwanting to suffer with her family, she made a deal with the devil. She now hunts in his name. The top of her head was taken by the blast on that day. The fires of her spirit have boiled her blood into a super-heated plasma.