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notmyrick · 4 years

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Okay this is a theory not theory or a "hear me out" type of thing. This actually isnt a theory, just a cool what if. Something to be scrapped.

But if you're with me this far let's begin overanalyzing shit!!!!!!!

Argument: The entire show is evil Morty

*mic drops ready for the tomatoes to be thrown*

But guys let's take a step outside of Rick and morty for a second.

You want to talk about rick and morty without talking about rick and morty?

Yes! Second voice I'm using purely for a narrative aspect!

Remember some time ago that Rick and Morty was suppose to be or at least considered to be a procedural type show?

Procedural shows are shows like the Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, Tom and Jerry, Futurama, Phineas and Ferb, etc.

Typically a show that has a very obvious formula with characters that typically never change, don't age, and rarely grow. Typically you could tell a show is procedural of you can watch any random episode from any season and understand what's going on (given it is not the final episode of a completed series).

Objectively if you look at Rick and Morty, you can say it it still holds true to its procedural structure. I could start on any episode season 1-4p1 and understand the dynamics of the Smith family.

Okay now just keep in mind that procedural shows last longer than serialized shows.

You can give me shit, but who the fuck is still a fan of Degrassi. And I know that there are some hardcore fans of GoT or Twilight, but I havent seen anymore hype or recent buzz about either of them since it ended (or near ending I dont keep up with stuff). Yet i could go to a person and ask if they watched Friends and some third party will scream to us "PIVOT!" or "They were on a break".

But I'm getting a bit off topic. The thing is Rick and Morty are now going semi serialized, but (hopefully) still keeping it procedural.

The fact is you can start anywhere in the series given the few special episodes. Episodes that are a direct continuation like the ending of season 2 to the premiere of season 3. Those episodes MUST be played together. Ending season 1 to premiere of season 2 is kinda iffy bc they basically summarized/hinted what happened at the end of season 1 with a few sentences.

If you go to most procedural type shows, they tend to have a serialized component which to be honest can be summarized by certain episodes. The serialized component can be either, what I call a "time stamp" or a character change. For time stamp it's mostly used a certain time period the characters response (i.e. the relationship of Rachel and Ross). The other characters tend to reference their relationship in certain episodes.

Or the character change, can be also known as character development, can be the serialized component in which a drastic epiphany happens to the character that changes the relationships with the characters or changes to their environment.

With this as a foundation, let's talk evil morty.

We know that their are infinite versions of Mortys out there. One of them is evil Morty, but it has been shown, by not being shown, how or why this morty became evil. There are many theories out there, most of which I like, but they are just wild speculation. I am going to twist up my own version of it now lol.

What if we've been watching a possibility of a Morty becoming evil. With Rick and Morty being a Procedural type show, the episodes aired does not have to be "in order" with the exceptions of of the special episodes.

Rick, in Rick and Morty, rather not Fuck with time travel, but doesnt mean the audience won't.

Think of it like an archeological excavation. We keep uprooting or discovering more about ancient civilizations or what our past ancestors did, but we don't find them in order. One min. We are discovering something about King Tut, the next we discover something about the the first homosapien.

With this, besides the special episodes, nothing was in order.

This theory is making a huge assumption that we've been watching the same Rick and Morty pair throughout the seasons. Meaning we've been watching Rick C137 and this Morty. This could explain why we dont see alternate versions of our favorite side characters. Why we dont see alternate versions of BirdPerson, Squanchy, Crombobulus Michael, hell another version of Tammy. If we've been watching (at least) the same Rick this entire time, then besides the special episodes, we've been jumping to moments of Rick's life. Like with the recent episode of Never Ricking Morty, Morty was able to buy the toy train because this took place before Rick destroyed the Citadel, but after the introduction of the evil Morty.

With what I've stated previously, hear me out, we've been watching the evolution of evil morty, or at least another version of him. ALTHOUGH only granted that evil Morty is one, if not the biggest climax to Rick and Morty. Remember how procedural shows may have some serialization in their shows. This also means they are not confined to one story arc. Which means evil morty is one of many sotry arcs to be discovered. This "theory" only works if Evil morty is one of the bigger climaxes to the show.

Recall previous procedural shows:

Futurama has 140 episodes

Phineas and Ferb have 189 episodes

I primarily used these tv shows because I am biased and watched them.

I would argue both had procedural and serialized components

With Futurama they had a few story arcs in their show, the one I remember and personally favor is the Leela-Fry relationship.

Similar to Phineas and Ferb, they also had had a few story arcs, with again being bias my favorite being the Phineas and Isabella relationship.

Note: can you see I like relationship arcs

If Evil morty is the one of the biggest story arcs of the franchise they would need to make sure that the ending for evil morty was satisfyingly tied up in a bow similar to the phineas and ferb final episode. If Evil Morty was the Final climax/arc of the franchise, I would say the ending needs to loop back around to make it "open ended" to keep it procedural similar to Futurama for replayability.

Rick and morty was renewed 70 more episodes somewhere after the end of season 3 making the current total of Rick and Morty episodes to barely pass over the 100 episode threshold. Which is the benchmark for networks for a shows profitability or syndication(profit and syndication are completely different dont get that confused).

So with my, hear me out theory, Rick and Morty has a lot of time to explore the evil morty story arc and/ or make better arcs for the future. Expecting it to be explored now in SeASoN 4 feels a bit too soon. If they keep a 10 episode per season schedule we can expect 6 more seasons of Rick and Morty to explore it. If they decide a 12 episodes per season then at least 5 more seasons.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #theory not theory #hear me out #serializarion #procedural #evil morty theory #evil morty #refrences to other shows #over analyzing #just for fun #just for kicks #2 am #what if #lol

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

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April 25: Thoughts on The 100 2x10

Twenty years later, I return with Ep. 2x10: Survival of the Fittest.

This commentary is NOT pro-Grounder or pro-Lxa.

I last watched in January and I have literally no idea what’s happening lol. I mean, I do because I’ve seen the whole thing enough times but still. Like specifically.

One of Netflix’s warnings for this show is “fear.” I CANNOT.

The idea of Arkers and Grounders perhaps meeting in certain ways pre-canon is interesting (the suicide by earth idea) but then the story just becomes one of yet more Mindless Grounder Brutality and I get bored. Like I’m sorry this is truly the most boring civilization ever imagined and I cannot believe we’ve been asked to care more and more about them with each passing season.

The lost possibilities of Bellamy & Lincoln. Also of Lincoln, in general? Someone who tried so hard to be something other than what he was taught to be.

Also, his story is basically confirmation that he became obsessed with Octavia because he was illegally spying on the cool Sky People and then ran into a Pretty Girl and that was just that on that.

The underworld. They’re not subtle.

Mmm-mmm my favorite set. Indra looking badass as per usual, giving her warriors a pep talk. And Kane with friendship heart eyes like “I’ve found my new BFF!!” (This is truly how I read the expression on his face.)

“Only our Guards are armed here.” Lol okay but does anyone really believe Indra travels with ONLY two knives on her person?

I’m generally a Jaha apologist but I cannot stand him in S2, primarily because his whole thing is based around him caring about “the Grounders’ land” in this realllllly awkward native peoples parallel, as if this was supposed to make him sympathetic when (1) there is literally no evidence at all that the Sky People occupied Grounder land in s1 or are occupying it in s2 and (2) he is advocating abandoning the main characters to death, the main characters are a bunch of teens, and literally no one calls him out on how disgusting that is. The only thing he’s right about is that the Grounders are terrible and Kane’s boner for them is ridiculous, but still.

Is there a Grounder named Michael? Lol.

“My shock baton’s got your back” probably isn’t intended as wildly inappropriate adult man hits on teen girl flirting but........ I dunno how else to read it.

Murphy > Grounder I said what I said.

That woman in the background of the fight with her eyes wide like ‘oh heavens! oh my!’

Kane’s here trying to be like stern dad keeps his kids in line for the sake of peace and Indra and the rest of the Grounders are like... fucking crickets. So ridiculous. So immature. Keep your own bitches in line Indra.

I completely forgot that Mountain had multiple airlocks and thus just, you know, opening the doors wouldn’t do anything. Makes sense, I’m just dumb.

Clarke > All Grounders and seeing her show respect to Lxa or anyone, even if it makes sense in context, just irritates me.

Clarke: *gives several very good reasons why sending large numbers of Grounder warriors into the Mountain will do literally nothing but lead to more casualties.* Grounders: *raaaaa I hate being told no, let’s just attack!!! ATTACK!*

“He shouldn’t have attacked my ship.” Honestly I think part of why S2 Clarke is my favorite is because I really identify with her, surrounded by idiots, just doing her best to get fucking anything done and done right.

“You’re very brave under the Commander’s protection, aren’t you?” DUDE. DUDE. You literally just reminded everyone that this five foot tall blonde teenage girl roasted your brother and several hundred others alive and you think the commander’s protection is why she’s brave? She’s brave because she’s smarter and tougher than you, duh.

And after all this Lxa’s like “Quint’s right.” Um he’s truly not though??? Ugh, the stupidity irritates me.

“Hook up” for “alliance” I am DYING.

Kane is absolutely the worst faux-father figure. Encouraging Octavia to get her ass kicked by idiots who are training for no reason...

And then this bitch (Quint) tries to kill Clarke as if that were even remotely a good idea... what if you were successful? What then? Lxa would torture you for like 100 days and then kill you start thinking things through.

I miss Byrne in that she was annoying but at least had, like, a perspective and purpose, BUT that was a cool death scene. A good sort of shock.

“Work detail” is such an odd phrase, like... one would think....everyone works?? It seems to be code for “mop some floors.”

I’m gonna be honest, the search for the CoL was the clear weak point of S2 for me but Murphy & Jaha are an interesting pair to share screen time.

Murphy: hesitates to accompany Jaha to Wells’s grave until he sees the possibility of getting a firearm of his own, then falls in love. You had me at ‘can hold a gun!’

They really are wasting bullets. Those are...kinda a finite resource? Also you’d think that these literal members of the Guard (based on their jackets) already know how guns work.

Kane really is devoted to this I’m Your Daddy thing, huh? “Look at me, shooting this gun, I’m so cool--don’t you want to be cool like me? I can teach you.” (And O in the back sharpening her sword like she knows what she’s doing.)

I don’t get how Mount Weather could influence Grounder legend given that they’ve known about Grounders for less than a generation, and they tend to destroy anyone they capture, not, like, release them back into their villages? Cool idea though!

Octavia, the secret weapon, exploitable by both sides because she knows both sides, is an interesting path SOMEone at SOME point should have gone down, or should go down, like in fic. Just putting that out there.

See, literally, what did I say? Quint does not even succeed in killing Clarke and he’s sentenced to death in 0.5 seconds. You gotta think ahead man!!

Lol I’ve seen this how many times and only now am I hearing that the word “Pauna” (which I’ve also been mispronouncing) is in fact in the episode. I always thought that was extra-canonical.

Pretty hilarious that Clarke, attempting to run away from the Irradiated Gorilla, leads everyone right to...the home of the Irradiated Gorilla. AKA the National Zoo.

Look the only thing I really have to say about this entire story line is that it’s pretty clearly only here to make sure Clarke, the main character, has something to do in an episode that isn’t really about her, like it’s straight up Filler just like the Bellamy Scales a Cliff episode, and it’s dorky and laughable and awful CGI and I get that--but I still maintain that the concept of “animals from the zoo survived and are still out there in mutated form” is cool and we should do more with that, as a fandom.

Also....moose? How’d that get there??

“Leave me” Lexa says, as if it weren’t incredibly easy for Clarke to save her. Like...why do you give up so easy all the time??? Grounders are weak. The slightest thing happens and it’s either “Time to kill you” or “Time to die.”

Murphy, unimpressed by the beauty of Earth.

Completely forgot that elder Murphy’s name was Alex. Put that one in my back pocket.

This Jaha and Murphy scene at Wells’s grave is the best of a fairly lackluster episode. “Clarke sugar-coated it for you, didn’t she?” “Good can come out of even the darkest acts, John.” “Camp You is that way.”

(Also...when did Clarke get a chance to talk to him? Was this over video in S1? I guess it must have been since she’s been busy in S2.)

When Kane lets Octavia fight the Grounder he is 100% doing it for himself and the alliance. He’s using her.

And somehow this is the ONLY time Octavia lost a fight. I wish the show had acknowledged more, as it does here, that tenacity is a great virtue but it’s not the only virtue. Also the Grounders truly are canonically terrible at what they do.

My favorite O characterization is when she’s just a blank slate for people to write on because she never was able to create a personality for herself. Because I think it’s the most true to her backstory, which seems only intermittently relevant imho. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” “I would like to be stronger,” hence “I shall get beaten up.”

*Sings* Lxa is a terrible leaaaaaader!!! Getting all up in Clarke’s head trying to tell her that caring about not constantly killing people is..............somehow.....................bad??? Lol.

This scene here where Lxa provides the groundwork for the Ai-in-Commanders thing, is probably where the show began its downhill slide. Don’t get me wrong, I love S2 as a whole--most of this nonsense didn’t really come up until S3--and S3 itself has good ideas, including the AI thing, but they were just realized so badly...... Makes me sad. We could have had so much more!

“Don’t be afraid, death is not the end,” is like......the least helpful thing to say. Yet again, Clarke uses her brain and figures out an actual plan, as opposed to “die heroically” which is really all the supposedly genius Lxa ever has. “Die heroically” or “Save own ass at others’ expense I said what I said.

I’m so salty.... I can’t even believe myself.

I enjoy the Indra and Octavia relationship.

So I’m going to say that I always assumed, and still basically assume, that the reason Indra chose Octavia for a second is that she really did think there was something special in her when she saw her fight. Like that’s all. Just like she would with a Grounder kid who wanted to be a warrior. But I think it would be interesting if she’s thinking just as Kane is: that Octavia is a useful bridge between the two peoples, that perhaps, she could get something from her. (Counter spy?)

“No one gives anything without expecting something in return.” Early John Murphy philosophy synthesized.

What the fuck is Jaha eating? Little...food pellets.

It’s true that he’s being cynical but it’s ALSO true that Jaha is withholding important truth from him and ultimately, arguably, using him.

“You didn’t give a damn about us. You still don’t, that’s why you’re not fighting for this kids in Mount Weather.” SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT. THANK YOU MURPHY. MVP of this ep.

“I was pardoned, slate wiped clean, I’m still treated like dirt.” The treatise of the Ark AU thanks.

More patented Murphy nose rubbing.

Murphy and Raven, both pulled in, to some degree, by cultists.

Murphy and Octavia, both manipulated by more powerful adults for their own ends.

Jaha is so... he has all these peace and love, everyone is accepted, nice ideas and beliefs and faith, but he also does not care at all about sacrificing a few here and there. He may remember Alex Murphy but he doesn’t really care, he’s not really haunted. Remembering is like a courtesy. He may miss his son but he still ultimately believes, even hearing how utterly stupid Wells’s death was, that it was worth it for some unknown greater good. And he’s willing to give up on people who aren’t even dead yet, just write them off as an acceptable loss, even though they’re his people and a subset of his people to whom he owes a particular debt, and still consider this sacrifice, not even yet made, to be worth it for this bigger plan. There are a lot of things I respect about Jaha as a leader, and surely in a universe of terrible leaders he is not the worst, but this is his fatal flaw, what keeps him from being good. Real leaders do accept that losses will happen, as Lxa says, but they don’t seek out losses and they don’t merely catalogue them and then move on. They feel them, and accept responsibility for them, and carry them forward.

No I am not talking about Clarke, although within this universe, she comes closer to the ideal.

The story line with Lincoln, Bellamy, and the Reapers is like nightmare fuel if I think about it too much.

Indra, with the tiniest slice of meat possible on a huge plate: “Eat! Get strong!”

Kane, trying to be sexy and seduce a new friend: “Thank you.”

Kane and Octavia are talking and Indra is just in the background, sitting on a tree stump, brooding in the most photogenic way possible, very ‘google earth, always taking pictures’ of her.

I’m sorry but I can’t stop seeing Kane’s whole demeanor in literally every scene of this episode as like “Attempted Daddy.” Not in the paternal sense.

“You’re asking me to be a spy?” / “I’m asking you.......... yes, to be a spy, that’s exactly it.”

Objectively ridiculous for Octavia to think the Grounders are her people but, I get it, she’s desperate for people of some sort.

“There’s a million ways to die out there” should have been the title of the series. More accurate than “The 100.”

“If it’s not your time than nothing can kill you” IS everything infuriating about Jaha in one line. Saying ‘it’s just what was meant to be’ is a pretty easy way to avoid responsibility for anything, ever, and it’s extra sketchy from someone who, as a leader, knows or should know that his actions have consequences for other people, sometimes life or death ones. I mean...everyone but he and Murphy did die searching for the CoL.

We REALLY need more fic that utilizes Jaha as a weird guru type.

“You wanna stop being treated like a criminal then you have to stop thinking that that’s all you are.”

Here, Clarke comes up with yet another smart idea. How many is that in one episode? She’s too smart, guys, just too smart.

That said, the first time I watched this ep with my mom (the second time in general for me, the first time for her), when Clarke explained her ‘release the Grounder prisoners’ plan, she was like “...Duh? I thought that was already the plan? Isn’t that what Bellamy was going in there to do?” Basically most people on the show < Clarke < my mom.

The tragedy of Lincoln’s addiction story line really does get to me.

I’m a little insulted on Bellamy’s behalf that he was marked Harvest lol.

I just watched the episode and I heard them explain their plan... but I still don’t really see how it was going to work. Like just... cause chaos and let Bellamy run inside? Kind of feel like someone would have caught him at some point, and also--doesn’t that run a significant chance of getting Lincoln killed? Oh well. It all works out eventually. Mostly.

Anyway, not the greatest episode, but it had its moments. The Jaha and Murphy story line was good, and I actually enjoyed the Octavia, Kane, and Indra stuff more than I thought or remembered. But it’s always kind of a bummer when one or both mains get lackluster filler plots--and in this case it really was both--I mean, Bellamy’s was important, but it wasn’t very long. And none of my faves: no Mount Weather, no Jasper and Monty, no Raven.

It still fucks me up that Liz Phair wrote music for this show.

#the year 2020 #2020: fandom thoughts #2020: the 100 s2

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urfavmurtad · 5 years

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Well folx it’s that time of year again: the Starving For Allah festival begins shortly. (I’m only gonna be fasting in public this year and will be stuffing my mouth the second I get into my room, for the record.) As a Special Ramadan Series, I’ve dug through my asks to find the most common question that I get, and the resounding answer is: sectarianism!!! People raised Sunni, people raised Shia, and non-Muslims whose knowledge of this part of history is “some people think the fourth guy should have been first” all wanna know Shaikha Urfavmurtad’s hot take on the mess that unfolded following the death of our beloved prophet (PUBG). And I will give the ppl what they want!

Let me give you a brief rundown of the sources for everything that follows. Written Islamic history began in the mid-8th century, over a hundred years after these events unfolded, though it built upon a systematized oral learning tradition. By that point, the first two dynasties of Islam had faded away, and the third, called the Abbasid dynasty, was freshly in control of the majority (but not all) of the territory conquered by the first generation of Muslims. The Abbasids were descended from a member of Mohammed’s extended family, and this fact was essentially their sole claim to rulership. They engaged in constant propaganda against their predecessors, called the Umayyad dynasty, who by this point had been reduced to a tiny stub of their former territory. The Umayyads were descended from the same tribe as Mohammed, but were not specifically descended from his family within that tribe.

For reasons that will eventually become obvious, this means that all accounts of the complete political clusterfuck that was the caliphate in the 50 years following Mohammed’s death have to be looked at with some degree of skepticism. There were reasons why authors writing in this period would feel compelled to characterize certain individuals as evil or at least misguided and others as pure souls, and they doubtlessly exaggerated and embellished some reports. And even the reports that truly do seem to go all the way back to the first generations of Islam can’t be fully trusted--these people were talking about their own lives, defending their own actions and criticizing those of their political enemies. Despite that, we have enough solid reports from enough people on different sides of each divide to put most of the story together. The main events of the story actually don’t differ that much between sources--the differences are mostly in the ways people are depicted during those parts.

Full disclosure: I was raised Sunni. I do not have the emotional attachment to certain historical figures that Shia people do. Even non-religious Shia people have a tendency to cry when they hear some of the stories that we’ll talk about, whereas I just think “lol that’s a biT much tbh”. However, given my current belief that all of these guys were dumb assholes, I feel that I can offer my fairly unbiased take on which dumb asshole deserved to be King of the Dumb Assholes.

After reading this, I believe you’ll come to agree with my thesis statement, namely that the true hero of Islam is the one who probably didn’t even believe in the damn religion.

And so I present my pre-Ramadan gift: part one of The Death of Crazy Mo.

THE CAST OF CHARACTERS

THE QURAYSH: The tribe in charge of Mecca and essentially the only relevant people in the story. Prior to this whole fiasco, they made a living primarily as merchants, traveling along caravan routes to other lands. They also catered to polytheistic pilgrims visiting their shrine, called the Kaaba. Most of Mohammed’s early followers (including Mohammed himself) were from clans of the Quraysh. Though most of the Quraysh originally strongly opposed Mohammed, they were worn down by years of conflict and “embraced Islam” following the conquest of Mecca. The leader of the Quraysh’s military prior to Mecca’s conquest was Abu Sufyan, a member of the Banu Umayya clan. Abu Sufyan is the father of one of Mohammed’s wives (Ramla) and several other children, including a son named Muawiya. He and his sons “converted” the day Mecca was conquered and have served Mohammed ever since. Muawiya currently works as one of Mohammed’s scribes.

MOHAMMED: Some old guy from the Banu Hashim clan of the Quraysh. Spends most of his time in a state of fever-induced delirium while ranting about religious minorities. Had several children, but all but one--his youngest daughter Fatima--have died of disease.

ABU BAKR: A wealthy, well-connected merchant of the Quraysh who converted to Islam early on and brought a bunch of people into the religion. He knew his fellow merchant Mohammed before Islam’s creation and grew to become his best friend. Mohammed bestowed the title of “as-Siddiq” or “the Truthful” upon him when Abu Bakr affirmed his belief that Mohammed took a round trip to Jerusalem on a magic horse/donkey in the middle of the night. As the years went on, he established himself as Mo’s closest confidante and has been vested with a great deal of political and military authority in the Muslim community as a result. His daughter Aisha was married off to Mohammed as a child and has been his favorite wife ever since.

UMAR: A belligerent asshole from a well-known family of the Quraysh who was also an early convert. He is another one of Mohammed’s fathers-in-law via his daughter Hafsa. Everyone knows that Umar is unpleasant, but they are forced to tolerate his existence because Mohammed and Abu Bakr are his buddies. Serves as The Big Guy and is good at yelling at people to whip them into shape.

UTHMAN: A wealthy merchant and old friend of Abu Bakr’s, who converted at the latter’s insistence. Went on to marry two of Mohammed’s daughters, Roqaya and Umm Kulthum, both deceased at this point in time. As such, he is also a member of Mohammed’s inner circle. He is from the Banu Umayya clan, meaning that Abu Sufyan & Sons are his relatives. This will cause drama later on.

ALI: Mohammed’s cousin (the son of his father’s brother) and son-in-law via Fatima, with whom he has two young daughters and two young sons, Hasan and Hussein. Mohammed was raised by his uncle, Ali’s father Abu Talib, after his own parents died. As an adult he returned the favor and helped raise Ali when Abu Talib was in a tough financial situation. Ali converted essentially right away as a teenager due to the fact that he lived with Mohammed and his family. He has been one of the Muslim army’s most notable soldiers since his early twenties and is one of the most prominent members of the community despite his relative youth. Like his father and cousin, he is a member of the Banu Hashim clan.

ABBAS: One of Mohammed’s uncles (his father’s brother), though the two are actually very close in age. Originally a successful spice merchant, he converted to Islam shortly before the conquest of Mecca and served in his nephew’s army. His son Abdullah ibn Abbas is only a teenager at the moment, but he will be relevant in the future. From the Banu Hashim.

THE ANSAR: The Muslims from Medina, mostly from the Aws and Khazraj sister tribes. After getting kicked out of Mecca (because the Ansar pledged to assist him in battle and the Quraysh learned of this stunt), Mohammed moved to Medina and brought a couple hundred of his followers from Mecca with him. Medina became the Muslim base of power, and the heads of the two tribes were made essentially subservient to him. Anyone who opposed him was gradually “dealt with”, and now the Ansar are more or less 100% Muslim. Whether their loyalty extends to Mohammed’s entire tribe is an open question.

MUSLIMS WHO ARE UNRELATED TO THE ANSAR OR QURAYSH AND NON-MUSLIMS IN GENERAL:

PROLOGUE: IN WHICH THE JEWS AND/OR COCCOBACILLI BACTERIA ARE AT IT AGAIN

Mohammed falls sick with a sudden, debilitating illness. We don’t know exactly what it was, and it’s blamed on The Devious Jews in many sources, but it was clearly one of the many infectious diseases that battered the Middle East throughout the sixth and seventh centuries. Islamic sources state that Medina in particular endured some sort of plague around that the time. He’s described as becoming shaky and fever-ridden essentially overnight, and so his companions put him on bed rest.

His condition is not improving, and it soon becomes obvious to everyone, including himself, that he is probably going to die. His followers move him into the home of his youngest and favorite wife Aisha, and he is given around-the-clock care. Mohammed’s fever worsens, though he remains lucid for most of his illness. He spends most of his time in bed, but sometimes he gets up and is sort of dragged around with the help of a couple of guys.

A few things happen around this time that will be relevant later. First of all, due to Mohammed’s illness, he can no longer perform his role as the imam (leader of prayers). So he appoints Abu Bakr to fill in for him. Abu Bakr has been Mo’s bestie and a member of his inner circle for decades, so this doesn’t surprise anyone. But appointing someone the leader of Medina’s prayers has certain implications.

The immediate issue is that Mohammed serves as the head of his state’s government, military, and legal system in addition to serving as the head of its official religion, Islam. Whoever succeeds him as the leader of this state--which is in a constant state of warfare in order to extend its borders--will likewise have to serve a triple role as a religious, military, and political authority figure. This will not be easy, as the new Islamic nation includes a number of people who are not particularly happy about living under its rule, and their numbers grow every month as the attacks continue. Ibn Ishaq’s sira states that before he fell ill, Mohammed had ordered raids both south and north, into Yemeni and Syrian territory. His nation is still almost entirely located in Arabia in this era, but it is getting quite large and complex, and there isn’t really any appropriate bureaucracy to deal with it. Whoever takes over will have to come up with that on his own, and will need everyone to go along with his decisions. Mohammed’s own claim to rulership comes “from Allah”, and it looks like Allah isn’t interested in conferring the same honor on anyone else.

That brings us to the second thing, which is something that did not happen: Mohammed never actually stated who he wanted to succeed him. In hindsight, this is a puzzling decision. By this point in the story, Mohammed knows he is seriously ill and probably going to die. He is pretty old (a grandfather in his sixties). He is very sick, but he’s still able to communicate with people in a clear manner, until, like, the very last day of his life. And he’s always been more than happy to issue orders for how his followers should eat, shit, and breathe, in addition to a litany of other religious, social, and political rules. Why he not only neglected to name a successor but even a process by which that successor could be named by others is a mystery. He just evidentially made virtually no preparations for what would happen after his death. Maybe he was in denial--he obviously wasn’t planning on dying at that point, and had unfinished business related to conquest and/or ethnic cleansing. Maybe he thought he had a little more time. Maybe he believed it was obvious that he wanted Abu Bakr to succeed him. In any case, he never named his “heir”.

There is one hadith narrated by Abdullah ibn Abbas that is sometimes believed to be related to this topic:

When [Mohammed] was on his deathbed and there were some men in the house, he said, 'Come near, I will write for you something after which you will not go astray.' Some of them said, 'Allah's Messenger is seriously ill and you have the Qur'an. Allah's Book is sufficient for us.' So the people in the house differed and started disputing. Some of them said, 'Give him writing material so that he may write for you something after which you will not go astray,' while the others said the other way round. So when their talk and differences increased, Allah's Apostle said, "[Get out]." Ibn `Abbas used to say, "No doubt, it was very unfortunate (a great disaster) that Allah's Messenger was prevented from writing for them that writing because of their differences and noise."

What was he going to write? (“Wait, I thought he was illiterate!” was he tho) Another hadith says one of his last orders related to the state was just a “remember to FUCK UP the polytheists, lads” thing, and Ibn Ishaq’s sira says that his last command was to "let not two religions be left in the Arabian peninsula". But that can’t be what we’re talking about, because everyone already knew that Operation Bring Everyone Into The Loving Embrace Of Islam was the plan. They didn’t need it written out for them. A third hadith informs us that Umar was one of the people who refused to give Mohammed something to write with, believing him to be delirious and declaring that the Quran contained all the instructions they needed anyway (lolololol). So because of goddamn Umar, we really don’t know for sure what Mohammed meant to do there.

A story involving Ibn Abbas’ father, Abbas, provides a hint as to what some people wanted him to write:

[Abbas said to Ali:] “By Allah, I think that [Mohammed] will die of this illness. I recognise death in the faces of the Banu Abdu'l-Muttalib when they are dying. Let us go to [Mo] and ask him who will have this authority. If it is for us, then we will know that, and if it is for other than us, we will know it and he can advise him to look after us." Ali replied, "By Allah, if we ask him for it and he refuses us, then the people would never give it to us afterwards. By Allah, I will not ask it from the Messenger of Allah."

Abbas and Ali here are both from Mohammed’s clan, the Banu Hashim. (Abdul-Muttalib was Mo’s grandpa.) When Abbas says that he wants to know if Mohammed’s empire “is for us”, he means for their clan. So while Mohammed is dying, it’s clear that at least some people believe that he might keep the leadership of the state/theocracy/whatever within the family. If Mo did opt for that, Ali was a reasonable choice. He was young--like 30 years younger than Abu Bakr & Pals--but he had been vested with a great deal of military authority already, he had been given the honor of carrying Mohammed’s banner in battle, and he was the closest thing Mohammed had to a son (besides Zayd the Ignominiously Un-Adopted, but he’s dead by now so whatever). Mo was very protective of his almost-son/cousin, as evidenced in this adorable hadith involving slave rape, and described him as the Aaron to his Moses. He told everyone that they must view Ali as their ally (some of Ali’s followers would later interpret this as Ali being declared Mohammed’s heir, though it was obviously not viewed as such at the time).

But again: at this point, Mohammed’s days are numbered, and he hasn’t indicated he wants Ali or anyone else to succeed him. And Abu Bakr is the one leading the prayers. It’s easy to dismiss the whole account above as some dumb Abbasid story--the Abbasids are so named because they are descended from Abbas--but it seems like it either actually happened or was strongly believed to have actually happened by the early Muslims. That’s because there is a sort of competing hadith to the one about the would-be letter declaring Ali the rightful caliph, this one narrated by Aisha and involving a would-be letter declaring Abu Bakr the rightful caliph:

A'isha reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) in his (last) illness asked [her] to call [her father] and her brother too, so that he might write a document, for he feared that someone else might be desirous (of succeeding him) and that some claimant may say: “I have better claim to it”, whereas Allah and the Faithful do not substantiate the claim of anyone but that of Abu Bakr.

So the idea that Mohammed was going to write something related to the succession seems to have truly been A Thing in the first generation of Islam, with different camps offering different spins on what he wanted to write. Obviously, no letter was ever actually written, thus the problem. But there were plenty of reasons why Abu Bakr also made sense as Mohammed’s successor, apart from his high standing in the community and his appointment as the designated imam. He was fanatically loyal to Mohammed and had joined him in holy broship, so he was viewed as unlikely to “betray” Mo’s final wishes. Mohammed had entrusted him with increasing religious authority even prior to his illness, and in the year following the conquest of Mecca, Abu Bakr had been put in charge of the pilgrimage to the Kaaba. He had also led platoons of Muslim soldiers (more slave rape in that one jsyk!) and was treated as essentially a substitute teacher at times:

A woman came to the Prophet (ﷺ) who ordered her to return to him again. She said, "What if I came and did not find you?" as if she wanted to say, "If I found you dead?" [Mohammed] said, "If you should not find me, go to Abu Bakr."

Plus, the guy was old. Around Mohammed’s age, actually, in a society that prized the wisdom of elders. So Abu Bakr had quite a bit going for him at this juncture. The one thing he permanently lacked was Ali’s close blood relationship to Mohammed--and Ali held multiple advantages here. It wasn’t just that he and Mo were cousins, it was also that Ali was the husband of Mohammed’s daughter and the father of Mohammed’s only grandsons. Abu Bakr’s daughter was Mohammed’s wife, but neither she nor any of Mohammed’s other wives from his polygamous days had any surviving children. Fatima’s boys were the only males around with his blood. (Mo had granddaughters too, from both Fatima and one of his other daughters; the latter granddaughter also ended up marrying Ali.)

A final note is that not all Muslims were eager for either Abu Bakr or Ali to succeed Mohammed. Some weren’t interested in living under permanent Qurayshi rule. In particular, the Ansar of Medina wondered why exactly the Quraysh were seemingly destined to rule them just for being related to Mohammed, when the Ansar were the ones who sheltered Mohammed and his followers for years after the Quraysh kicked him out of town.

As people ponder all of this and the power struggles start to heat up, Mohammed is still in his bed, dying of disease. Oh, and just a teensy problem: some people have gotten word of his illness and think that now is a great time to try their luck and break away from the proto-caliphate. Some are in open revolt and refusing to pay tribute to the state, while others have even declared competing religious movements and have started building up their own armies. Mohammed’s successor, whoever he is, will have a lot to deal with. As all of these people will learn within the next two decades, it turns out running an enormous expansionist state is actually a shitty job with a lot of headaches, many of which involve being stabbed to death.

CHAPTER 1: PRESS ﷺ TO PAY RESPECTS

Despite his followers’ best attempts to cure him by using the “methods” he’d taught them, Crazy Mo dies in Medina around noon on a hot June day in the year 632. He was 62 years old, and had served as the self-declared prophet of Islam for the last two decades of his life.

The Muslims are, naturally, distraught by their leader’s death. Mohammed’s wives immediately begin hitting themselves (uhh... it was a custom) in mourning when his heart stops in Aisha’s room. The news slowly spreads. Some wail; others are frozen in fear. Some like Umar take a more denial-of-reality approach to hearing the rumors. He addresses a crowd of people and begins rambling:

When the apostle was dead, Umar got up and said: "Some of the disaffected will allege that the apostle is dead, but by God he is not dead; he has gone to his Lord as Moses went [for] forty days, returning to them after it was said that he had died. By God, the apostle will return as Moses returned and will cut off the hands and feet of men who allege that the apostle is dead."

“SO THIS MOUNTAIN, SEE?!”, exclaims Umar, who is in a state of mania. “THE MOUNTAIN IS JUST, LIKE, IN AISHA’S APARTMENT. ALLAH MOVED IT THERE, THEN SHRANK IT, THEN MADE IT BIG AGAIN, BUT YOU CAN’T SEE IT FROM HERE--LIKE THE MAP OF NI NO KUNI, YOU KNOW?--AND THE PROPHET CLIMBED IT TO GET SOME TABLETS LIKE MOSES. HE’LL BE BACK WITH THOSE TABLETS, WHICH WILL SAY ‘FUCK Y’ALL’, AND THEN HE’LL MURDER EVERYONE WHO SAID HE WAS DEAD. YOU’LL SEE!!!”

“That sounds incorrect, but I don’t know enough about mountains to say it is false,” decides an onlooker, thoughtfully.

Abu Bakr pushes through the crowd that has gathered to gawk at Umar. He visits Aisha’s room to observe Mohammed’s corpse and confirm his death. Satisfied with the deadness of the body, he returns to Medina’s center to put a stop to his buddy’s maniacal ranting:

Umar was still speaking and he said gently, "Umar, be quiet." But Umar refused and went on talking, and when Abu Bakr saw [this] he said: "O men, if anyone worships Mohammed, Mohammed is dead, but if anyone worships Allah, Allah is alive". Then he recited this verse: "Mohammed is nothing but an apostle. Apostles have passed away before him." By God, it was as though the people did not know that this verse had come down until Abu Bakr recited it that day.

(Hmmm at that last part.)

“Umar,” says Abu Bakr, gently.

“BRO! YOU’RE WITH ME, RIGHT? EVERYONE’S SAYING ‘THAT’S THE DUMBEST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER HEARD’, BUT THEY SAID THE SAME THING ABOUT THE FLYING DONKEY, YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO BELIEVED!! NOW YOU’VE GOT MY BACK, RIGHT?”

“Of course,” Abu Bakr replies, sweetly. He then slaps Umar across the face.

Stunned, Umar shuts up for a moment and everyone accepts that Mohammed is, in fact, dead and had not somehow gone missing inside his wife’s bedroom.

Mohammed’s only surviving child, his daughter Fatima, is obviously among the most devastated by his passing. Fatima’s mother Khadija had died when she was still a young girl, her sisters all died of disease within the previous five years, and none of her brothers survived their childhoods. Even Zayd the Ignominiously Un-Adopted is gone. So she is the last of her nuclear family at the age of, like, 25 or younger. Her husband Ali is presumably equally distraught, but as one of Mohammed’s closest surviving male relatives, he has to deal with the burial arrangements. Abbas helps Ali wash Mohammed’s corpse, in keeping with Islamic custom. They respect Mohammed’s never-nude wishes and keep his privates covered during the process.

Meanwhile, the news that Mohammed is dead has spread throughout the entire city. The issues that people had previously been grumbling about, related to the succession to Mohammed, immediately start spilling out into the open. The Islamic empire is engaging in constant, ongoing battles--if a new leader is going to be chosen, it has to happen now. There isn’t any time to waste.

But not everyone is convinced that there needs to be a singular leader. Some of the Muslims believe that Mohammed was irreplaceable in terms of being one single authority figure to whom all Muslims were required to pledge their absolute loyalty. He “earned” that loyalty by being The Prophet, and he was The Last Prophet. He couldn’t have a real successor. People who followed this line of thinking began seriously considering the possibility of de-centralizing the new empire, so that different Muslim tribal confederations would be more or less self-governing, as they had been prior to Islam. After all, Arabs were accustomed to living in tribes, not bureaucratic nations. Why not just return to the way things were, with slightly more attacks on polytheistic shrines?

The Ansar are intrigued by this possible outcome. They know that if there is one single ruler, he is doubtlessly going to come from the Quraysh tribe, and they’ll be relegated to the back seat forever. In the interest of preserving their autonomy (or rather renewing it, now that Mo’s dead), they quietly arrange a meeting to discuss this problem. The goal of the gathering is to agree upon a leader for their community, with Saad, a chief from one of their tribes, being the current frontrunner. They invite the senior members of their tribes to the meeting and pointedly do not invite any of the Quraysh. But some of the latter get word of the gathering, and they move to crash the party immediately.

I (Umar) said to Abu Bakr, 'Let's go to these Ansari brothers of ours.' .... we reached them at the shed of (a clan of the Ansar, the) Bani Sa`da.

After we sat for a while, the Ansar's speaker said, ‘...To proceed, we are Allah's Ansar (helpers) and the majority of the Muslim army, while you, the emigrants, are a small group and some people among you came with the intention of preventing us from practicing this matter (of caliphate) and depriving us of it.'

When the speaker had finished, I intended to speak as I had prepared a speech which I liked ... Abu Bakr said, 'Wait a while.' I disliked to make him angry. So Abu Bakr himself gave a speech ... he said, 'O Ansar! You deserve all (the qualities that you have attributed to yourselves), but this question (of Caliphate) is only for the Quraish as they are the best of the Arabs as regards descent and home, and I am pleased to suggest that you choose either of these two men, so take the oath of allegiance to either of them as you wish.’ And then Abu Bakr held my hand and Abu Ubaida bin al-Jarrah's hand

“Hello friends,” Abu Bakr begins. “Y’all are great. Truly. Thanks for opening your homes to us, surrendering control of your city to our cult leader, and sacrificing your money and lives in battle on his behalf. But here’s the thing, folks: we’re better than you are. I’m sorry but these are the facts. We’re richer. We’re from a more well-developed city. Our tribe is more respected. Abraham himself built a mosque where we live. Mohammed was one of us. Frankly, we’re also better-looking. That’s very important for good PR.”

The Ansar stare blankly at him.

Undeterred, Abu Bakr continues: “Now, we’re not going to force you to follow anyone. There is no compulsion in religion. You have a choice here--between two of our tribe’s most famed assholes!” He grabs two individuals from the crowd and presents them. “On your left: Umar ibn al-Khattab, who many of you know as a short-tempered and over-emotional manchild. On your right: this other guy named Abu Ubaida, who honestly hasn’t done much beyond fight in some battles at this point in the story. I guess there was that time he killed his own father while we were trying to raid one of our tribe’s caravans.... anyway. What are y’alls thoughts?”

[Crickets.]

And then one of the Ansar said, 'I am the pillar on which the camel with a skin disease (eczema) rubs itself to satisfy the itching (i.e., I am a noble), and I am as a high class palm tree! O Quraish. There should be one ruler from us and one from you.'

“OK... first of all, what in the name of Christ is that metaphor,” Abu Bakr replies. “We’re also better at poetic imagery than you are. Forgot to add that, so thanks for reminding me. Second of all, as I just told you, we’re above you. Who the fuck lied to y’all and said you were on our level? Lmao losers”

“We’re not better than fucking UMAR?”, the Ansar retort. “Or this other guy who will remain B-tier in relevancy throughout this entire story?! YOU WOULDN’T EVEN HAVE THIS EMPIRE WITHOUT US, YOU UNGRATEFUL CLOWNS!”

Chaos erupts in the hall. People are five seconds away from throwing hands. Suddenly...!

Then there was a hue and cry among the gathering and their voices rose so that I was afraid there might be great disagreement, so I said, 'O Abu Bakr! Hold your hand out.' He held his hand out and I pledged allegiance to him, and then all the emigrants gave the Pledge of allegiance and so did the Ansar afterwards. And so we became victorious

Umar dramatically declares his loyalty to Abu Bakr in the chaos, recognizing him as the new leader of the Islamic empire, henceforth known as the caliph. Frankly speaking, it probably wasn’t that much of a shock to Abu Bakr himself, as he knew that Umar (and... basically everyone else) wanted him to be the first caliph. The whole offering Umar and Abu Ubaida as options thing was just false modesty he knew would be shot down in favor of himself, imo. But that’s my hot take, not something the sources say.

Anyway, everyone pauses for a moment to consider this. It probably seems clear to the Ansar at this point that the Quraysh aren’t gonna just leave them alone and let them do what they want; they will have to pledge loyalty to one of these guys eventually. Given that their previous options were Umar and Irrelevant Guy, Abu Bakr likely appears pretty good in comparison. So perhaps it’s not surprising that most of the Ansar present at this gathering decide: “if we gotta serve one of these assholes, might as well be this one”. They sigh and agree to recognize Abu Bakr as the caliph. (Poor Saad gets roughed up afterwards, something Umar considers punishment for daring to even consider himself for the position of caliph.)

So now the whole succession issue is behind us, right? Well... no. We have a slight problem here: Abu Bakr, Umar, and Abu Ubaida may have crashed the Ansar’s party, but zero members of the Banu Hashim were present at the impromptu coronation of their kinsman’s successor. Because they’re busy preparing his corpse for burial. Oh well!

Team Abu Bakr has a more pressing concern, namely telling everyone else in Medina (and those hundreds of thousands of other people living in the caliphate, but who gives a shit about them?) that they have a new ruler. So the next day, Umar and Abu Bakr direct a general assembly to gather in Medina’s mosque, where the people are told to give Abu Bakr their allegiance. First, Umar gives a brief speech in which he basically says that this decision hadn’t come from Mohammed, but is nonetheless the evident “will of Allah”:

O men, yesterday I said something based on my own opinion and which I do not find in God's book, nor was it something which the apostle entrusted to me; but I thought that the apostle would order our affairs until he was the last of us alive. ... God has placed your affairs in the hands of the best one among you ... so arise and swear fealty to him.

The residents of Medina do so, and then Abu Bakr gives his own speech in which he asks the people to “obey me as long as I obey God and His apostle”. Then he leads them in prayer, acting as the caliph for the first time. The commoners apparently don’t have much of a problem with any of this, or at least none are bold enough to disagree with the leaders of their tribes after the latter swore loyalty to Abu Bakr in the hall. So that takes care of that situation.

But the larger issue, namely the fact that the Banu Hashim and their sympathizers have had basically no say in this process, is still unresolved. Mohammed’s burial occurs the day after the general oath of fealty to Abu Bakr, with the men of his extended family lowering him into his grave. They’re now ready to catch up on everything they’ve missed in the past couple of days. It probably isn’t anything important, since the people of Medina have no doubt been so preoccupied with mourning Mohammed’s death that they’ve hardly had time to do anything else.

(On to part 2!!)

#long post #history #adventures in sectarianism #ramadan

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backroombuzz · 5 years

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Scientists Discover Sea Of Fresh Water Under The Ocean, But The Debate On Climate Change Is Over?

For years we've been hearing "Climate Change Is Real... Man Is The Cause... DEBATE OVER!" Now They're saying "Hey Look What We Found!"

Let me say this at the start. I'm not a denier, Climate Change is real and I want to clean up the Earth as much as anyone, but do it responsibly where millions won't die and I'm not riding a horse to work. But when I see islands today that climate change scientist told me 40 years ago would be gone, then, YES, call me a denier because before we sign off on fundamentally changing our way of life. I don't want to pick up a paper and read "Hey look what we found" just miles from where morons are telling us we only have 12-years-left, and if we don't change now... WE'RE DOOMED! While the man-made climate change debate is supposedly over (as if it ever started), they just keep giving people like me ammunition to say 'Wait. What?" Despite, the fact that they claim to be "Experts" not one of their vaunted "We're Doomed" predictions has ever come true: It's been 19-years since climate scientist Dr. David Viner predicted “ Children just aren’t going to know what snow is,” It's been 49-years since Stanford’s academic Paul Ehrlich said in 1970 Between 1980 and 1989, some 4 billion people, including 65 million Americans, would perish in the “Great Die-Off.” The same Paul Ehrlich said in 1971 "By the year 2000 the United Kingdom will be simply a small group of impoverished islands, inhabited by some 70 million hungry people." Oh, and lookie here, just a few weeks ago CNN hilariously used the same Paul Ehrlich As Their Climate Change EXPERT in one of their "Climate Change Doom-n-Gloom Specials" where they spent and an hour telling us a million species will die in the next decade. Just one more from Paul Ehrlich just to prove exactly the type of "Expert" CNN used to prove how Humans suck. Ehrlich stated as fact:“By 1980, all important animal life in the sea will be extinct.” Umm, that'll be a NO! The AOC of climate change scientists. One of my favorite predictions,only because it's more recent and whenever one of their Doom-n-Gloom predications utterly falls flat on its face. Climate Change Scientists always use the excuse: "Our climate models are far better than they were back then because we know so much more, so 'NOW you can absolutely trust us because NOW we 100% know what is going to happen in the next 10, 20, 50 and 100 years.' Except... “More heat waves, no snow in the winter… Climate models… over 20 times more precise than the UN IPCC global models. In no other country do we have more precise calculations of climate consequences? They should form the basis for political planning… Temperatures in the wintertime will rise the most… there will be less cold air coming to Central Europe from the east…In the Alps winters will be 2°C warmer already between 2021 and 2050.” Max Planck Institute for Meteorology, Hamburg, September 2, 2008. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); A little over a week ago these same scientists announced

Scientists have discovered a sea of fresh water under the ocean

As told in the latest issue of the peer-reviewed journal Scientific Reports: Scientists from Columbia University and the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (an organization considered to be the leading expert on Climate Change) spent 10 days on a research ship towing electromagnetic sensors from New Jersey to Massachusetts. By measuring the way electromagnetic waves traveled through fresh and saline water, researchers mapped out fresh-water reservoirs for the first time. It turns out the subterranean pools stretch for at least 50 miles off the US Atlantic coast, containing vast stores of low-salinity groundwater, about twice the volume of Lake Ontario. The deposits begin about 600 ft (183 m) below the seafloor and stretch for hundreds of miles. That rivals the size of even the largest terrestrial aquifers. The size and extent of the freshwater deposits suggest they are also being fed by modern-day runoff from land—and may exist elsewhere with similar topography.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); Wait. What? NOW are saying "Look what we found!" After 50 years of climate science running amok telling us they know EVERYTHING about Climate Change and that man is evil, and their Doom-n-Gloom predictions are indisputable. NOW they're saying "Hey, Look what we found!" Since like FOREVER these same scientists have been saying "We are running out of fresh water... And it's all your fault so you better get used to drinking "AOC brand Toilet Water" But they already told us they have all the date and KNOW EXACTLY what will take place to the point where morons such as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are proposing a "Green New Deal" bill which will absolutely 100% KILL millions of Americans. I'll assume because the 'Ends Justifies The Means,' and since the climate change, experts have ALL THE DATA everyone is just peachy with those millions of deaths, because, after all, 97% of Climate Change scientist agree billions will die because the "experts" have all the answers. All except missing the biggest freshwater aquifer on the planet! Oops! (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); The Gulf Stream... The Gulf Stream... My Hairs On Fire... Then we have all those scientists who claimed that man-made climate change is changing the gulf stream that runs up the east coast of the United States, causing the world to heat up, which will result in all ocean life dying. Gulf Stream current at its weakest in 1,600 years, studies show Warm current that has historically caused dramatic changes in climate is experiencing an unprecedented slowdown and may be less stable than thought - with potentially severe consequences Now, these same scientists discover a freshwater aquifer that covers hundreds of miles that's sitting right next to the very same gulf stream? I guess they will tell us putting a body of fresh water hundreds of miles long that next to the gulf stream doesn't change a thing in their 100% accurate, you can't deny it, we're doomed, climate change models? I'll give you a scenario so people will have a clearer picture of what a game changer this discovery is. Google Earth has pretty much rendered a nearly complete 3D representation of Earth based primarily on satellite imagery. If Google Earth had been saying: "We know exactly what the Earth looks like. We have exactly this much land available and in 50-years there will be no more land for man to occupy." "We're running out of the land, we must fundamentally change our way of life. We much conserve every inch of open space in order for our children to have a future" But if you happened to say "Oh, but what if in the future we discover more land?" you would be labeled a "land denier," and more than a few would suggest you be jailed for your blasphemy. Google, Twitter, and Facebook would delete your account because your a fake news "Fox News watching, Land Denier." They will scream Google Earth are the EXPERTS, and while they may have claimed in the past that "we will run out of land in 1998," they weren't wrong they just didn't have as complete a picture as they do today. Then they will pull out their soapbox and scream: NOW WE DO! IF WE DON'T CHANGE NOW! BY 2100 THERE WILL NOT BE ANY LAND LEFT. Period. End of story. Then Google Earth happens to announced today: We discovered the long lost continent of Atlantis. It was sitting right there, in plain sight, just floating in the middle of the Atlantic... Who Knew! I think many people would immediately ask "How in the hell do you miss a whole continent? And of course, they will also ask "So what else haven't you discovered, or DON'T KNOW? But today they're proposing to throw my ass in jail because I'm a supposed "Climate Change Denier" for asking "How can you be sure you have all the data?" How about we start by demanding these scientists explain how after the American taxpayer gave them BILLIONS OF DOLLARS in grant money, and they missed the biggest fresh water aquifer on the planet just miles from where they were telling us we're doomed, and millions must die to 'Save The Planet"? (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); Read the full article

#AtlanticOcean #ClimateChange #ClimateDenier #DoomandGloom #GreenNewDeal #GulfStream #SaveThePlanet #Seaoffreshwater

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jbuffyangel · 7 years

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HVFF Nashville Wrap Up

It’s midnight. This is the first second I’ve had to sit down and write about Nashville. I was knee deep in SDCC planning with my Just About Write ladies today. It’s gonna be lit folks! We can’t wait to cover it for you.

So... I decided to go to HVFF Nashville for one reason and one reason only. M*lissa B*noist was attending and my daughter could meet Supergirl. The obsession runs deep my friends. When M*lissa canceled Lauren was absolutely devastated and I was in a bit of a panic. Primarily because I didn’t know what else she would enjoy at HVFF. She’s not allowed to watch Arrow. She’s only seen a few clips, but Lauren loves Felicity Smoak. Hand to God this is how she described the show to a friend.

Friend: What’s Arrow?

(The friend overhead my husband and I discussing my blog)

Lauren: It’s about Felicity Smoak. She is super smart and loves computers like I do. She fights crime.

Friend: Okaaaay. But... who is Arrow?

Lauren: (completely blasé) Oh. He’s just Felicity’s boyfriend.

I mean.... she’s not entirely wrong. She also possibly summed up 95% of the fandom’s view of the show, so I give her points for that. But... Emily Bett Rickards wasn’t going to be there. So, I was unsure of her level of excitement over Stephen.

Turns out she was pretty excited to meet him.

Well, she was excited to dress up as Felicity, spend time with Mommy, shop and swim at the hotel pool, but Stephen was absolutely on the list. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure how much of the convention she would enjoy. Turns out she LOVED all of it.

She shrieked when she saw Chewy and BB8. The force is strong with this child.

I fully support her superhero choices.

Honestly, it was just fun to share my little Arrow world with her. I already blogged about her autograph with Stephen, but here are a few more details. She was nervous and wanted very much to ask him a question, but didn’t know what to ask. So I gave her the question, “Will we have to wait all season for Olicity to get married?” Thanks @callistawolf for the suggestion. Man didn’t even blink. Folded immediately with, “No I don’t think so.” WEDDING CONFIRMED. THANK YOU MY ANGEL. Stephen is powerless against little Felicity Smoaks.

After the autograph, apparently Lauren felt like she had a rapport with Stephen. (Wink wink) Lauren floored me when she said she wanted to ask Stephen a question at the panel. Thought it all up by herself. Marched on up to the mic. I promise you she does not get this confidence from me. This is all her father.

Round three was the photos. Lauren said she had another question for Stephen. I explained that every time she had a question for Stephen, Mommy had to fork over a bunch of cash, so she was all done. Undeterred Lauren remembered she still had a photo with him and decided she could ask him there. She wanted to have a chat with Steve I think. Maybe over milk and cookies. I very quickly downplayed the interaction and explained he has a lot of people to get through and the photo goes very quickly. There won’t be any time for questions.

She waited very patiently for her photo and, yes the line was moving fast. I could tell she was getting nervous again. When it was her turn, Stephen smiled at her and I said, “There he is. Go ahead.” I knew Lauren’s plan was to just stand next to him, but Stephen smiled at her again and said, “Yeah... no. Let’s try...” and he scooped her up. Lauren was airborne and completely shocked. My girl is tall but very thin for a 10 year old, so the man basically palmed her like a basketball. LOL To say she was thrilled would be an understatement.

He set her down and I whispered thank you as she scurried back to me. And Stephen gave me a very sweet wink.

This was our convo after...

Lauren: HE PICKED ME UP MOMMY! I was NOT expecting that.

Me: I know. I saw. Pretty awesome!

Lauren: I was going to ask him on a scale of 1 to 100 how strong is he?

Me: I think he answered your question.

Lauren nodded speechless.

Me: I’d say as strong as Daddy. 99?

Lauren: (giddy) YES!

My daughter can be very introspective at times and the conversation we had on the airplane on the ride home struck a chord with me.

Lauren: Do you think Stephen gets tired of doing conventions?

Me: Well... I think he’s making a lot of money and people tell him he’s amazing all day. As jobs go, I don’t think it’s a terribly tough one, but he does have to travel a lot and that can be hard.

Lauren: (very quietly) He probably doesn’t get to see his little girl very much.

(Stephen told a sweet story about Mavi at the panel. I was truly surprised Lauren brought her up.)

Me: That’s true. He lives in a different city when he films the show. Then he travels to conventions. Sometimes she comes with, but you are right. Stephen spends a lot of time away. Although I’m sure he sees Mavi every chance he gets.

Lauren: How old is his daughter?

Me: She’s little. I think she’s in preschool.

Lauren was quiet again and I could tell what she was thinking.

Me: It’s nice that your Daddy is home every night isn’t it?

Lauren: Yeah.

Me: Fame has its perks, but there are negatives. Daddy isn’t famous, but I think you got the better end of the deal, don’t you?

Lauren: Yes.

Bonus points to my husband for remembering that Ming Na voiced Mulan as we scanned the guest list after Melissa canceled. Well played Dad.

Of course, Ming Na is gorgeous and wonderful with kids. Lauren named off most of the characters in the movie and wanted to know if Ming Na had stuffed animals of them. (Stuffed animals rank high with her still). Answer: Yes, she does in her office. Lauren was quite pleased Ming Na was Disney Princess-ing properly. She had bracelets and candy for the kids too, so her parenting game was strong too.

Of course, meeting fandom friends is always a highlight of conventions. It’s always so funny when we introduce ourselves. Obviously, we start with our real names, but it’s only when we say our screen names that the light bulbs go off.

I was able to meet @scu11y22, @jedichick04, @laurabelle2930, @ireland1733, @redpensandgreenarrows, @emmilynestill, @quant-um-fizzx, its_mjayy and Brittany_Ellis . (Sorry if I forgot anyone!!!) Y’all were as nice as can be. So sweet to both me and my daughter. Thanks for chatting Arrow with me, listening to me ramble (Yes, I do the same thing in person as I do in the reviews. I am deeply obsessed) and sharing your convention and real life stories with me!!! So happy to met you all.

We spent the weekend with my amazing friend @hotcookinmama. She is my life saving editor and beta for all my fics and Nashville tour guide extraordinaire. Angela picked us up from the airport, drove us around town and gave us a fantastic tour of Nashville. She found great restaurants for us to eat at. Absolute gem of a host. She is also one of the sweetest and most genuine people I’ve ever met. Our girls were fast friends and had a wonderful time playing together. #Perfectweekend

Two of my favorite convention moments were with Angela and both involved David Ramsey. I had a VIP ticket so I told Angela to tag along with me while I got my autograph with David. Typically they don’t mind how many people you have with as long as they don’t try to get an autograph at that time. I figured this would give Angela two visits with David (she would get her auto in the general admin line later). David and I chatted. He gave me that great spoiler and off we went. I started chatting about the spoiler as we walked away, but as I turned to look at her I realized she was crying. 100% FEELS OVERLOAD from meeting David Ramsey because he’s freaking David Ramsey and always wonderful. It was her first convention and I was just so happy to be part of that purely joyful moment with her. It’s so rare when we are gloriously happy as human beings and she absolutely was.

The second, of course, were the AMAZING SPOILERS David gave Angela. She essentially guessed the first six episodes of S6 because she’s a clairvoyant, kick ass fic writer. I was standing in Stephen’s empty booth, just on the other side of David’s. I was out of earshot, but enjoying watching Angela and her family interact with him. When Angela came over to me she was freaking out by what he told her. Then I was freaking out. It was AWESOME.

Regarding M*lissa’s cancellation - yes I was angry. These tickets are expensive, plus airfare, and it’s always difficult to disappoint your child. There seems to be some controversy over whether or not she was really working. Obviously, if she was working that’s understandable even though it’s frustrating.

If she wasn’t really working well... that sucks. A LOT.

That said, Stephen’s kindness went a long way to ease my daughter’s broken Supergirl heart and I appreciated it. I should probably let her watch Arrow now. ;) What’s most important though is the time we spent together and the memories we made on our mother/daughter trip.

#personal #arrow fandom #olicity fandom #hvff nashville #stephen amell #arrow cast appearances #arrow spoilers #arrow season 6 #olicity spoilers

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janschreiner · 5 years

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Dr. Jess O-Reilly Plays 20 Questions with SHA!

“You’re the ultimate expert in your own sexuality and pleasure.”

The Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) is centered around providing Provocative Dialogue and Radical Collaboration. What would radical collaboration look like for you?

To me, radical collaboration involves sharing my business and working with industry peers who don’t have the same opportunities and privilege as I do. This might involve referring out services to folks who are better qualified to speak on specific issues (e.g. Black sexuality, sex for people with disabilities). It also involves sharing resources, insights and experiences for low/no cost to those in financial need. And at times, it involves sharing the financial profits on specific projects (e.g. collaborating on products like books, video courses and speaking engagements).

As a prominent sexuality professional, you have made a wonderful career as a sex educator. What would you recommend to young educators or therapists wanting to follow in your footsteps?

Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for the support of your peers and potential mentors. Many of us want to help and if you’re very specific with your request (e.g. Can I pick your brain? is too broad, but Could you look over this introductory paragraph of my book proposal? is more manageable), you’ll probably receive a positive reply.

What book(s) are you reading right now?

I’m rereading Life and Death in Shanghai.

What’s the most important thing you talk about with your clients?

Custom-designing their relationships. There is no one-size-fits-all approach and you can make almost any arrangement work if you’re not burdened by social pressure.

What are the top 3 items on your bucket list?

1. I’d like to build an affordable housing building in my hometown of Toronto and see if we can grow the project to be sustainable; eventually, I’d like to continue to build additional units.

2. I’d like to adopt a child.

3. I want to live to be 100+.

One of our goals is to provide all therapists and healthcare providers with high quality sexuality training because they often receive little to no education in sexual health. What is the most important piece about sex that you want all providers to know? What would you want them to incorporate into their practice?

I’d like every professional to understand that our personal sex and relationship lenses can be completely irrelevant to our clients/patients’ lived experience. This doesn’t mean that our work isn’t shaped by personal experience, but simply that we need to be aware of our own biases and limits. And we need to be more aware of our layers of privilege related to race, gender, income, education, ability, nation of birth, relationship status, social status and professional roles.

What are your top 2 books that have influenced you and why?

Give and Take by Adam Grant. This was an affirming read, as he shares stories and data suggesting that good people do finish first in life and in business.

Our Bodies, Ourselves. I read this many, many years ago when I was in school and it offered such an important perspective on so many different topics. I know they’ve updated it since then and I’ve been meaning to go back to it and read the new version, so thanks for the reminder!

What is bad advice you have heard other people in our field give?

I still hear professionals talk about other cultures and countries as though they’re monoliths that they understand because they worked with clients from a specific culture or they lived in a place for a few months or years. If you’re not a part of a group or culture, elevate the voice of someone from that group instead of speaking for or about them. Nothing about us without us.

Who is your sexual role model?

That’s a great question! I’m not sure I know enough about anyone else’s sex life to call them a role model. Marla Renee Stewart is a general role model — personally and professionally — and I believe she has very happy relationships — sexual and otherwise.

SHA utilizes social media to reach our members as well as to find new sexuality content and research, how do you think social media has influenced our culture’s sexuality?

I’m so thankful for the reach and impact of social media. Putting the power of broadcast into individual hands (instead of allowing it to rest in the hands of a few corporations) has shifted and broadened the content we consume. Accounts like @SexPositiveFamilies, for example, disseminate essential information that mainstream (old) media would never have touched. Research shows that digital consumption and connections can foster digital empathy, galvanize support, create feelings of belonging and build community. Of course, social media is still owned by a few corporations and we don’t have access to how they disseminate our posts, so we have to be mindful that new media also has its limitations.

Our team finds podcasts, youtube and other social media platforms sometimes more educational and useful than traditional models. Do you think social media should have a place in formal training, and if so, how much?

There are accounts that offer high-quality, evidence-based information and there are also powerful accounts that provide misinformation. I think it’s important to analyze media (including social media) in all training and examine messages and biases. Part of all learning processes involves developing and tuning our critical thinking skills and I believe that we can certainly use social media as both a lens and subject.

What made you create your Happily ever after approach to working with couples?

I work primarily with folks who run or own businesses. They’re passionate about their work and they claim that their family is the most important aspect of their lives, but they don’t always act like it. Our Marriage As a Business approach involves applying business practices and acumen to intimate relationships. This might entail hosting board meetings (relationship check-ins), building a support team (e.g. therapists and babysitters), respecting timelines (e.g. showing up to dinner on time), planning ahead (e.g. carving out time weeks, months or even a year in advance).

As a Canadian born, Chinese-Jamaican and Irish by descent person, what has been the most challenging aspect of working in this field?

My gender, appearance and (perceived) ethnicity provide me with both privilege and challenges. As a woman talking about a sensitive topic in the public eye, I draw considerable criticism, harassment and personal attacks — on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, my website contact form and even on LinkedIn. I ignore most of it, but sometimes it does feel like death by a thousand paper cuts. Luckily, I have a lot of support too. And I love life and I’m lucky in so many ways, so I try not to expend my energy on the harassment.

Where is your next dream vacation?

I’m not sure. I have a big birthday coming up in February and I’m deciding between Tuscany, Japan and Jamaica. Help me choose!

What are 2 of the most important things you do everyday?

If I’m home, my partner makes me a decaf macchiato or cortado in a small double-wall glass, which I try to take the time to enjoy without reading, working or scrolling. The glassware and all the details add to my enjoyment; he weighs the beans, grinds them with a beautiful manual grinder, pulls the shots at the right pace and warms the milk to the perfect temperature. It sounds pretentious, but I don’t care, because it’s delicious.

I don’t have many rituals, because I’m on the road most of the time and everything is always changing. But I do make time to enjoy myself wherever I go — even if I only have a few hours in a new city or country, I try to walk to a local third-wave coffee shop or market to get a pulse on local life. If I have time for lunch, I always treat myself to something delicious. Food is my love language and working in the food industry is a part of my family background.

What’s your favorite place you’ve traveling to for you job and why?

It’s hard to pick a favorite place, but Istanbul certainly stands out as a highlight. The people are always so warm and gracious. The rich culture, history and architecture overwhelm me. And the food is so delicious and varied. I hope to return again soon.

What’s the most challenging aspect of being in business with your partner, Brandon? (They are married)

Me. I’m the most challenging aspect. He’s much easier to work with.

We don’t work together full-time. He helps out to co-host the podcast, but he has his own unrelated business that keeps him very busy.

The most challenging aspect relates to my travel schedule. I love travel and I love flying and dealing with the unpredictability of new surroundings, but I do miss being physically together. This was a challenge for several years, but he travels with me far more often now, as he has more flexibility with his business.

What’s your favorite story to tell?

I’m a storyteller. As they say, a story doesn’t have to be true to be good. Ha!

But here’s a true one:

On a flight from Denver to Albuquerque a few years ago, a guy threw up all over me as the plane landed. Instead of just vomiting, he tried to keep it in his cheeks and so the trajectory changed and it sprayed everywhere — all over me and in the hair of the couple in front of us. People were dry heaving all around us and I was just hoping that no one else would vomit. I remember thinking that if one more person vomits, the whole plane is going to become a vomit comet. I don’t know why I picked that story, but it just popped into my head.

If you want something sexuality-related:

One time I was at a sex club and two people high fived on the bed next to us while exclaiming, “Oh yeah. This is so hot! And it’s a great workout, so we can skip the gym tomorrow!”. This was their dirty talk and it got them all riled up, but it killed the vibe for me and some of the others in close proximity.

Another time, as lady who was 7+ months pregnant stopped me and asked if I could help her figure out a good position for DP (double penetration) given her big belly. This was a time when I was reminded that they definitely don’t teach you everything you need to know in school.

Your bio says you like airplane turbulence! Can you tell us more about why you like it?

I just love airplanes — I love flying in them, talking about them, reading about them. And I like the physical thrill of a little turbulence — especially in a bigger plane. I will reroute to fly on a cool plane (e.g. the 787-9) and I hope to train as a pilot someday.

Being trained in sex & disabilities, can you give us some tips on why discussing disability is important?

All sexual health education needs to be inclusive and this includes talking about sex as it relates to race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, relationship arrangement, income, and disability. I facilitated sessions on sex and disability early on in my career and now I’ve learned that I should pass the mic and advocate for paying opportunities for fellow sexologists who have disabilities. There are many qualified folks who simply don’t get the same paid opportunities as I do because of ableism.

When we leave folks with disabilities out of the conversation, we reinforce inaccurate stereotypes and put them at greater risk, as sexual health education produces positive health outcomes regardless of whether or not you have a disability.

What's an important take away from your new book The New Sex Bible?

Do what feels good for you. Don’t worry about what the experts or your friends have to say. You’re the ultimate expert in your own sexuality and pleasure.

About Dr. Jess

Jess O’Reilly began working as a sexuality counsellor in 2001 and she has never looked back! Her PhD studies involved the development of training programs in sex education for teachers and her education and undergraduate degrees focused on equity and sexual diversity.

Her training includes courses in counselling skills, healthy relationships, resolving sexual concerns, sex education, clinical sexology, sexual development, sex and disability, group therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

Alongside her academic and television credits, Dr. Jess is also an accomplished author with three best-selling titles. Her latest, The New Sex Bible, has received rave reviews from professionals and clients alike and her first book Hot Sex Tips,Tricks and Licks is in its fourth print! Look for her monthly column in Post City or catch her on Tuesday mornings on Global TV’s The Morning Show, Wednesdays on 102.1 The Edge and Saturdays on PlayboyTV.

Dr. Jess’ work experience includes contracts with school boards, social services agencies, community health organizations and private corporations. A sought-after speaker, her sessions always attract a full-house at conferences and entertainment events alike.

Check out more about Dr. Jess!

Follow Dr. Jess on Twitter & Instagram

Dr. Jess O-Reilly Plays 20 Questions with SHA! published first on https://spanishflyhealth.tumblr.com/

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cyanmnemosyne · 7 years

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Yuletide Letter (2017)

Dear Yuletide Writer,

First of all, thank you for taking the time to write me a fic! This is my third year participating in Yuletide, and I’m looking forward to seeing what you come up with. :D

If you have matched with me on one of these small fandoms, I figure chances are pretty good that we share some tastes as well. :D So while I’ve tried to provide at least a bit of commentary for each one, please feel free to ignore all my meandering suggestions if your inspiration takes you in a different direction. :) I feel certain I’ll love whatever you write, either way. <3

I also have no preferences as regards length, tense, or POV -- feel free to write the story however it works best. :)

AO3 name: darkcyan

Requested fandoms:

Shirobako

Mouretsu Pirates | Bodacious Space Pirates

Star Ocean: Till the End of Time

Machineries of Empire Series - Yoon Ha Lee

[ hiding the rest under the cut, because as usual, it got long. :) ]

General Preferences:

Yes, Please:

fluff, found family, deep friendships, established relationships, brand new relationships where everyone’s trying to feel their way through, drama if it’s not gratuitous or inspired only by misunderstandings, hopeless pining, hopeless pining that turns out to be reciprocated. People already trusting each other, people coming to slowly trust each other.

basically if it’s emotionally warm, I will probably love it

and if it hurts but resolves in an emotionally warm place, I will love it while crying

AUs. canon-fork or otherwise. I like it best when the characters still feel “true” to their canon personalities, as filtered and changed through the different lens of how the AU differs from canon. For AUs that involve significant worldbuilding (e.g. sci fi AU), feel free to spend as much time as you want on the worldbuilding in addition to the characters.

Actually worldbuilding in general is great if that’s your thing.

Missing scene / other POV / canon continuation fic are also great. (I think what I’m trying to say is I like basically all kinds of fic?)

time travel. is a guilty pleasure of mine. Primarily when used as an excuse to abuse one’s future knowledge to help put the past on a better track (though of course, it wouldn’t be as fun if the changes didn’t start piling up eventually. ;) ) Time travel paradoxes are an interesting thought experiment, but in my fic-reading I’ve got a strong preference for the “eh, changing the past forks the future, don’t worry about it too much” mode of time travel.

Female characters being their awesome selves.

Happy endings. (Bittersweet is fine too :) )

Shipping is great, queerplatonic relationships are great, deep friendship is great. Relationships are great! (I’ve called out my preferences or lack thereof on a fandom-by-fandom basis below in case it helps. Anywhere I say “relationship”, feel free to assume that I’d be just as thrilled by anywhere in the spectrum from “really good friends” through “queerplatonic” to “romantic”)

Humor is good too! I’m usually not terribly interested in true crackfic, but the occasional lighthearted fic – or a dash of humor in something otherwise dramatic to lighten the mood – is great.

I feel certain I’m missing a lot, so let’s just say that anything that’s not otherwise called out in my maybe/no lists is fair game :D

Maybe:

issuefic (which seems to include things like alternate sexuality / gender headcanons? not 100% sure on the preferred terminology here?) I like my issues to feel organically part of the story rather than being a transparent soapbox, but other than that, I think that sort of story can be really interesting :D This is in the ‘maybe’ category mostly because I guess there’s a risk that we might not happen to agree on said issue?? But if it’s the sort of fic you love to write, go for it! :)

Kidfic. Haven’t really encountered much that interested me, but if you want to, go for it. :)

Please, no:

Onscreen sex. Fade to black or references are fine if you feel it’s critical to the characterization / plot, but if we’ve gotten to the point where we’re talking about limb positions, my reaction is almost certain to be somewhere between bored and extremely uncomfortable.

(but honestly I’d prefer no sex at all. comes of being both asexual and a prude *shrug*)

Even if it’s not explicit or onscreen, please no rape / noncon / dubcon. *eyes list* Do I need to call out “no incest”? I don’t think so? But just in case: no incest either please. :)

Not a huge fan of drug / addiction plots either

Relationships, romantic or otherwise, where there’s a significant power imbalance (especially if it’s abused) really bother me, especially if it’s played as acceptable.[1] (If the story shows it as deeply problematic and works through the implications, I’ve been known to have an intellectual appreciation for it, but it’s still not something I really want to read about.)

Most significant age difference fic falls into this bucket for me.

I also feel pretty strongly about free will and freedom to choose, so “I’m taking away your choices by hiding things from you / doing things behind your back For Your Own Good” narratives mostly just make me want to punch things, no matter how good the supposed justification is on the part of the person doing it. So. I’d recommend avoidance. :)

… Emotional manipulation in general, to be honest. Especially, again, if it’s played as acceptable.

Cheating and other forms of deliberate, sustained dishonesty within a relationship. If the characters are lying to each other, they’d better have a really good reason, and chances are I still won’t like them quite as much after. [2]

Gratuitous drama. If the drama could be resolved by the characters just sitting down for five minutes and talking to each other, and the only reason they don’t is ~*~reasons~*~, then I start getting really annoyed, really quickly

Plots revolving around jealousy. It’s a human emotion, but I hate it when characters let it eliminate their capacity for rational thought

Anything that uses “they couldn’t help themselves” as an excuse for making bad decisions. Like. I’m sure there are exceptions. (Actual mind-control?) But in general my response to that excuse is “You’re an adult. Act like it.“

Character bashing. Even the characters I hate are the heroes of their own stories.

Not a huge fan of relentless grimness / Crapsack Worlds. I enjoy some grim sometimes, but I prefer at least an occasional dose of hope with my grimness. I need to have some faith that the ending will be a happy one, or at least cathartically bittersweet.

Related: If I wanted to hear about awful people being awful all the time and how awful everything is as a result, I’d go watch the news. (... Someday I would like this statement to be less true than it was the previous year, instead of more. ;___;) There can be awful people, they can do awful things, but I’d really prefer they not be either the majority or the focus of the story.

[1] BDSM in which said power relationship has been consensually agreed on ahead of time is entirely different, of course. :)

… But it’s also not generally really my thing. :P

[2] For the record, I do not count poly relationships in this bucket at all. All I ask is that everyone who’s involved is aware of and reasonably happy with what’s going on.

Fandoms:

Shirobako

Crunchyroll

Requested character(s): Miyamori Aoi, Yano Erika

Spoiler notes: I’ve watched the show and read the first several chapters of the prequel manga

Preferred pairing(s): gen or Erika/Aoi (side relationships between whatever set of the characters that suits your fancy are fine too - aside from my soft spot for Erika/Aoi I don’t have any strong ship feelings.)

THIS SHOW. I love it to pieces. When I first started watching it, I was in the middle of a bit of a professional crisis of my own (trying to decide whether to change jobs), so this show hit basically all my “I love this” buttons, from laughing and crying about how well it depicted how hard it is to get a lot of creative people to work together (I’m a programmer, not an animator, but the similarities are pretty scary), to laughing and crying at its depiction of writer’s block, to adoring all the little in-jokes it slipped in about anime as a whole (I wish I could remember the name of that harem show …), to loving all the insights into how making an anime actually works, to empathizing like no one’s business with Aoi’s insecurity about whether she was “enough” for the job and whether it was okay to not have everything figure out yet, to Ema’s struggles with imposter syndrome, to Misa’s angst about whether she should stick with a stable job she knows or try for something more like what she really wanted, to …

just.

THIS SHOW.

I re-watched it last year and was struck all over again by how much I love Erika’s casual mentorship of Aoi; she’s one of my favorite characters, and I’m always sorry to see her disappear and I always cheer when she comes back.

So what I’d really like to see this time is a story that focuses on their relationship. A scenario where Erika helps point Aoi in the right direction? When Aoi realizes Erika needs some support?

During that long gap when Erika is away caring for her father, do she and Aoi still stay in contact? Does Aoi ever come visit?

I’d just love to see more of these characters and their friendship.

(Note: I do low-key ship Erika/Aoi, but I also am pretty iffy about workplace romance, especially in such a small workplace, and Erika especially seems like the sort to be level-headed about that sort of thing.

So if you want to take things in a shippy direction, I’d like to request that it either stays at mutual pining or -- if they decide to make a go of an actual relationship -- actually addresses the workplace romance issue. One of them moves to a different company? idk.

But I’d also be 100% happy to see a fic that is completely gen, if that’s what you’d prefer. :) )

(And one final note: Hiraoka. I’m not sure I like him, exactly, but I’ve been uncomfortably close to where he is emotionally, so he gives me lots of complicated feelings. So, if you choose to include him, please be kind?

And if you, too, have dealt with burnout - Erika and Hiraoka had a very interesting conversation at one point that made me think that Erika’s also uncomfortably familiar with it, but has just stabilized in a healthier place. If you wrote a story centered on that I’d probably love you forever, but I’m not sure it’s one even I’d be willing to attempt …)

Mouretsu Pirates | Bodacious Space Pirates

Requested character(s): Lynn Lambretta, Jenny Dolittle

Spoiler notes: I’ve watched the show and the movie.

Preferred pairings: Lynn/Jenny

… Yeah, no, I’m not even going to pretend that I’d be happy with gen when this is an actual canon relationship that is one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen.

(… Like, my high-pitched yelling about this pairing almost reaches the level of Uranus/Neptune back in my peak Sailor Moon fan years. … … And that’s a lot. XD)

I meannnnn you can do gen if you reallllllly want to. :D I’m sure I’ll still enjoy it. <3

But yeah, insofar as I have OTPs anymore, these two are definitely one of them. XD (And I’m hoping that if you’re offering these two characters, it’s because you ship them too. XD)

Ahem. Where was I?

I really enjoy this show in general - it’s just so refreshingly, unabashedly fun; a lovely warm show about a bunch of ridiculous, adorable, and really damn competent girls being their awesome selves. (With a handful of fond, long-suffering adults on the side.) (And also piracy.)

And I love Jenny and Lynn in particular because even though they’re secondary characters, they exemplify this - every interaction Marika has with them, they’re being their competent, awesome selves, and it’s a true treat to watch.

So please give me these two characters being being their badass competent selves. Or give me something adorably fluffy with the two of them doing nothing in particular. Give me them working together and sometimes having to remind each other to take a break and eat or sleep - or give me that year they spent separate, and their wistful pining, wishing they could reach each other through their holographic displays.

(Okay, ngl, I have a special category of high-pitched yelling reserved for that phone conversation!! When Jenny is giving Lynn advice on being president!! And Lynn’s wistful-but-fond smile as she hangs up!!!)

In summary, please give me more of these adorable canon lesbians. <3

Star Ocean: Till the End of Time

Requested character(s): Nel Zelpher, Clair Lasbard

Spoiler notes: I’ve played the game and am ~ halfway through the manga and seriously wtf did you do to my favorite character less blushing more badassery for Apris’ sake!

Preferred pairings: Nel/Clair

Speaking of high-pitched yelling on the scale of Uranus/Neptune, I am fairly certain that Nel was my official first ever video game crush. This was a bit difficult for me to explain to myself, as I was convinced I was ~straight at the time, but she was so cool that I didn't bother to think about it in too much detail.

And when we are introduced to Clair as her partner, and every single scene in which the two appear makes it clear how strong their bond is -- it was a foregone conclusion that I would start to ship them as well. And Adray's obnoxious insistence on trying to find a husband for Clair just made me even more determined to headcanon them as lovers (or at the very least secretly pining for each other) in addition to partners.

As I said above with Lynn/Jenny -- if you don't ship them romantically, but just think they're great platonic partners, I'm sure I'll still enjoy it whatever you come up with. But in case there’s any doubt, I also very much ship them. :D <3

And either way, I just love their dynamic -- these two strong-willed, intelligent, fiercely competent women, working towards a shared goal that they both believe is more important than themselves. How deep and unshakeable their trust is -- and how even though it clearly tears Clair apart to send Nel out into a situation that they both know may not be survivable, she'll do it anyway. And Nel will go.

I don't have any specific prompts in mind -- if you want to write about a mission Clair has to send Nel off on, and the tension between their fear for and their trust in each other (and the knowledge hanging over both of them that they're doing something that they see as more important than them both), great! Want to just do fluffy interactions during a brief break from the action (do they get vacation? How many people do they have to bribe to get vacation at the same time?), or after the war is done and things are a bit more settled, go for it. In the narrative path where Nel goes with the party into space, does she think of Clair and all the stories she's going to tell once she gets back (if she gets back)? What does Clair think, being left so much farther behind this time than any other time before? What stories does Nel tell when they're reunited?

Got an idea that's burning in your mind and has nothing to do with any of these? I'm sure I'll enjoy whatever you come up with. :)

Machineries of Empire Series - Yoon Ha Lee

Requested character(s): Kel Cheris, Shuos Alaia

Spoiler notes: I’ve read both Ninefox Gambit and Raven Stratagem, and a decent number of the other vignettes/short stories in the world. If you want to check whether I’ve read a specific story, feel free to shoot me an anon ask. :)

Preferred pairings: Cheris/Alaia

Ah, these books. Ninefox Gambit is one of my favorite books I've read this year, and its sequel, Raven Stratagem, was an entirely worthy follow-up. I'm really looking forwards to how the trilogy concludes in Revenant Gun, but in the meantime: fanfic! :D

I debated what I wanted to request, since there's a lot about this series that I like -- the fact that pretty much all of the characters are competent and Done With Your Shit, the way it sets up a horribly broken system and then doesn't flinch away from both how broken it is, and how the vast majority of people have just ... accustomed themselves to the situation, and make do while tolerating the horrible. It makes the system feel sustainable enough to have lasted this long, while still making it very clear why multiple someones would have gone to so much effort to try and tear it down. And yet, it also doesn't flinch from the consequences of the actions that the various characters take to try and tear it down, either. (One of the many reasons I'm looking forward to Revenant Gun -- I'm very curious to see what the consequences arise from the events in Raven Strategem.)

I really enjoy how many characters are queer (including trans!!), and how casually the narrative treats this fact. And the way that many characters' families are factored into their thoughts, even if they're not on the page, in a way that felt very true, but that I feel like doesn't often come up in other novels that aren't explicitly about something family-related.

The casual inclusion of dyscalculia and ADHD is also pretty great -- how it’s clearly an aspect of the characters that have shaped them, while even more clearly not being all their character is.

... So what do I decide to request this year?

Cheris and that one ex-girlfriend of hers who shows up for, like, a paragraph of flashback in Ninefox Gambit. XD

I just ... really liked that little bit of insight we got into Cheris’ history, and would love to see more. How did they meet? Why did they break up? What was the actual most ridiculous drama they watched, and how late did they stay up making fun of it?

Feel free to go in a more serious direction as well (what sort of training incident gave Alaia her nervous tic? what is being Shuos like to someone who didn’t go the flashy assassin route? How did being Kel and Shuos inform their interactions with each other, and the world around them).

And, as always, feel free to ignore my prompts entirely if there’s something you’d rather do instead. :D

#dear creator letter #yuletide #yuletide 2017

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the-100-meta-library · 7 years

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Dear followers and meta fans!

Today, we present you the first segment of a series of interviews that will feature the brains and minds behind all those wonderful analyses floating around The 100’s tumblr tag.

For our first interview, we are pleased to welcome Elizabeth, also known as the lovely @hawthornewhisperer!

We connected with Elizabeth back in May, before Season 4, Episode 12. So this a little bit of a blast from the past. Read to see how right-- and wrong-- we were about some speculating.

We’d like to thank Elizabeth again for her time, and the supporters of the Meta Library who encouraged us. Keep an eye out for the next interview!

The 100 Meta Library (bellamysfern): The first questions are just about some background info. Anything you feel comfortable releasing to the internet. Who are you, what do you do, how does that affect how you write meta (if it has any effect at all), and your level of fandom experience.

Hawthornewhisperer: Okay, well, first of all, thanks for interviewing me! This is an honor and I appreciate you guys doing this.

You can call me Elizabeth, and I'm a writer-slash-historian living in Minnesota. I teach college courses on European history and write romance novels on the side (second one should be out this year!)

In terms of how that influences my meta, I've found that both of my jobs dovetail very well into analyzing the show.

As a historian, my main lenses of analysis are gender and imperialism so I tend to apply those to the show as well-- in what ways do characters fulfill our expectations of femininity/masculinity, and in what ways do they challenge it? What does that tell us about the characters?

My imperialist/colonialist focus also helps me sort out what the writers are saying (either intentionally or unintentionally) with regards to hegemonic cultures, etc.

As a writer, I try to think about the choices the writers room is making and what that tells us about the story

Oh, and fandom experience-- I wrote fic for The Hunger Games (Gale/Madge, mostly) but The 100 is probably the first fandom I've been very active in. But my first true fandom is probably Star Wars.

BF: That's absolutely amazing. I feel like anything with fandom can be trivialized, but so much work goes into writing meta and thinking about the choices made on the show.

HW: Yes, definitely!

I have very strong feelings about the importance of fandom, particularly transformative fandom (fics, headcanons, etc) as a primarily female space and how important that is to protect and take seriously.

BF: Right. And I know you write fanfic too (very good fanfic, btw).

Do you think writing meta influences how you think about fanfiction? They are two different ways of interacting with a show, but both require authors to really understand the material.

HW: Oh yeah, definitely!

I see fic and meta as two sides of the same coin-- writing meta

helps me understand characters better, because if I can explain why Bellamy or Clarke would make a particular choice in a particular episode that helps me craft their characters in fics in a way that feels true (or I hope so, at any rate.)

And writing fic helps with meta, because I have a little insight into how writers make decisions. In particular it makes me slightly more sympathetic to plot twists that seem to have no clear resolution because I frequently write ficlets with cliffhangers and then have *no idea* where it's going after that, because sometimes I just like to raise the stakes for myself. Of course, there's a major difference in that my fics are only limited by my imagination and can go in any direction I choose, whereas the show has actor contracts, studio pressure, budgets, filming limitations, and a dozen writers working on one story, and they’re getting paid to do this so they should be really be better at it than me.

BF: Is there anything you've ever read (fic or meta) that surprised you? Any interpretation or theory that influenced the way you thought about the show?

HW: You know, most of my favorite metas and theories come from the Meta Station podcast, and I wouldn't say it's *surprising* but I do think my favorite theory this season is probably Erin's suggestion that Bellamy will be key to brokering peace between all the clans. (I think we got the start of it in the most recent episode, actually, with his faith in Octavia). It wasn't a direction I'd initially considered for his character, but it fits very well with the story they've been telling thus far this season and I hope we see it come to fruition.

In terms of influence, one thing I really enjoy about fandom is how *collective* it all is-- lots of people come up with complementary ideas that fit together and overlap in really intriguing ways, which makes narrowing down influence kind of difficult. But on a personal level, I do toss ideas back and forth with @reblogginhood a lot, which probably shows in my writing.

BF: Haha, my fill of meta usually comes from Meta Station too. I just listened to the segment talking about fic and fandom with Chash and thought "Wow, this is great interview prep".

HW: I can't wait to listen to that! Those are three of my favorite fandom people, talking about my favorite topics, so I'm excited.

BF: I know, I was so excited when I saw the announcement. It was super cute and funny. Anyway, back on topic.

So for you, meta is a more collective thing. Do you have a writing process and need to go through the same steps every time, or does it vary?

HW: It varies, for sure. Sometimes I realize something and can just throw it all together very quickly, and sometimes my idea is very vague and I have to write and write and write (and talk it over with people) before I really figure out what I'm saying. But after writing a dissertation I'm pretty used to writing six different versions of the same idea before I feel like I've found it. I just edit those metas very heavily as no one needs to read four false starts. 😉

BF: So the amount of time it takes to write metas varies too.

Are there any characters/themes that come easier than others?

HW: Oh definitely.

Bellamy is probably the easiest for me to understand, followed by Clarke. There are other characters that just don't *speak* to me/I have less interest in writing meta on, but that doesn't mean I dislike them.

Roan, for instance-- he's probably my favorite minor character in the whole show but I don't have too much desire to get into his headspace for some reason.

The-100-Meta-Library (parapluiepliant): We could have had it all. Still in denial about Roan by the way.

HW: I'll always be in denial about Roan, but he will live eternal, shiny, and chrome in all of my fics so at least we have that.

PP: Yippieh! Something to look forward to!

BF: I am still in real actual denial because I thought I saw something about Zach coming back for season five.

HW: I would totally be fine with time travel becoming a thing on the show if it meant someone could go back in time and save Roan.

PP: Talking about time travel: let's go back in time.

I just scrolled a bit through your The 100 meta tag and came upon "Bellamy Blake, Clarke Griffin, and The Iliad". It was one of your first metas, or am I wrong?

Even though that referred to season 3, would you say that some of it still holds true for season 4?

HW: It probably wasn't my first meta, just the first one I bothered tagging-- I'm terrible about that, and I apologize to everyone for my poor organizational skills.

BF: I'm right there with you with the tagging.

HW: You know, I'm not sure it does hold true for season 4? The core of the Iliad is hubris, rage, and war between nations being manipulated by the gods, and that doesn't seem to be the story they're telling in season 4.

I will say, in retrospect I do think both Clarke and Bellamy were the Achilles in season 3 -- Clarke for separating herself from the fight, and Bellamy because it was his anger over Mount Weather 2.0 that incited a lot of the conflict.

(But I also doubt they were doing a straight parallel, so take that for what it's worth)

PP: Okay. Just a thought. I am not that familiar with the Grounders (and to the Arkadians to some extent) might still be an entertaining thought.

HW: Ooooh yes, that would work very well, especially since I suspect conflict between Becca and Cadogan is at the root of a lot of problems the societies are facing.

BF: I did find it interesting that the brought the Iliad in so explicitly. And there was a lot of speculation based on it, when maybe so much worth shouldn't have been placed on the Iliad/Odyssey.

But we won't know until the end, I guess.

HW: Yeah, it's tough to know what is meaningful and important and what's just a fun, throwaway moment until you've got a complete narrative to examine. But I do enjoy how fandom can take something like "Bellamy gets a present that probably just means he's a Big Ol' Nerd" and turn it into a coherent, unifying gloss on the season.

PP: One of the most entertaining and enlightening things in the fandom for me.

HW: Yeah, me too.

Fandom is such an enriching experience in so many ways.

PP: Another question in that regard: Is there a meta of yours of which you are most proud of? Or which you thought of as the most fun to read/the most clarifying in regard to certain aspects?

HW: I think the one I'm proudest of would be the one I wrote about Bellamy undercutting the Alpha Male trope, because I find "how we perform and understand gender" to be a really interesting topic, and I think Bellamy as a character really complicates our understanding of what it means to be an alpha male.

And I think some of that is directly intended by the writers, but I also think some of it comes from the performances (Bob in particular, but also Ian, Eliza, and Mike Beach because he's not just reading what's on the page, he's reacting to their performances as well.)

It makes Bellamy into a really interesting and nuanced character in a way that draws me in.

PP: Absolutely! One of the reasons I love him so much.

BF: Do you have a lot of interaction with your meta? Do people mostly reblog or like it, or do you get some conversations going?

HW: I think mostly people just like and reblog posts, but every so often someone will add something to my meta that I hadn't considered/seen before and it'll just blow my mind. I love it when that happens.

And sometimes people send PMs to respond and I end up having long, in depth conversations about characters with people I've never met before, and I *also* love that. I've made some really great friends that way.

BF: Fandom friendships are so interesting that way.

HW: Yeah, definitely.

I really treasure the friendships I've made in fandom, and I know they'll outlast the show itself, which is wonderful.

BF: Yeah, definitely contradicts everything people told you about everyone on the internet being dangerous. But I haven't met an axe murderer yet.

HW: Haha right? *fingers crossed*

PP: Who says that I am not one?

HW: Oh no! Haha!

BF: You are on the other side of the ocean. I think I'm good. Well, that was all questioning that I had. Laura?

PP: I would have one last question.

Can we hope for another meta pretty soon and if so, can you already tease it a bit?

HW: You know, there's nothing that I'm currently writing, I think because most of the stuff I'm interested in from 411 (the Bellarke fallout) seems to be on hold until 412, but I also tend to work best in response to prompts/questions.

So is there something you'd like me to talk about/you're interested in discussing?

BF: What’s your Becca/Cadogan speculation?

HW: Oooh, good one!

I think Cadogan's messed up childhood (Jaha mentioned an abusive father) is going to resurface, and I suspect it was a conflict between him and Becca that set things into motion. I have my fingers crossed for a flashback!

PP: Definitely. Oh, I missed that with Jaha because my stream didn't work properly. I really need to watch it so I can catch up!

HW: The Jaha-Cadogan mention was just a throwaway line, however, so I might be putting too much weight on it. And as for the Bellarke fallout, I do think Clarke holding a gun on him and then being unable to pull the trigger, even though she truly believed the human race might die if she didn't pull it, is going to carry a lot of weight in their relationship.

Clarke has consistently been shown as willing to put her own wants and needs and loves aside in order to save people, and this is one of the first times we see her make a heart choice instead of a head choice, if that makes sense.

But Clarke's decision to not shoot Bellamy was really big, and while I'm disappointed we didn't get the fallout immediately, I think 411 was a really busy episode and I have hopes that it will be addressed in some respect in 412.

BF: Thanks so much for taking so much time to talk to us!

HW: Of course! Thank you for interviewing me-- this was really fun!

#author interviews #hawthornewhisperer #the 100 meta

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gman-003 · 7 years

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Flow and Friction - Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword analyzed, part four

(This is part of my ongoing series analyzing The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, part of a bigger series where I play through and then talk excessively about every game in the Zelda series. If you want to catch up, earlier installments discussed the use of patterns, the story and how it fits into the chronology, and the controls)

Game design, like all artistic fields, has its own jargon. "Friction" and "flow" are related terms: "flow" is the state games are trying to achieve, where the player is sucked in, with each action they do naturally leading into another. Without anything to disrupt their experience, players will just continue to play. Many things can disrupt flow - difficulty is the one that usually gets all the focus, because a game that is too challenging is frustrating, while a game that isn't challenging enough is boring, both states that take the player out of flow. But there are other things - other internal disruptions are often from "friction", where the game makes something not more challenging, but more difficult or more time-consuming. A cumbersome interface is friction. Loading screens are friction. Even just forced dead time is friction - my favorite example is shimmying along a ledge, which, regardless of the game, always seems to take forever but rarely requires anything more than just holding left or right.

The Zelda series has always had pretty good flow, despite having quite a bit of friction. The structure of the game keeps the player advancing - when they get a new item, there's a natural urge to go find where it can be used, and using it in the right place gives them another item to repeat the experience with. Combine that with constant new places to explore, and hints of places you'll eventually get to but currently can't, and it takes a pretty big disruption to break the player out of flow.

Good: Priming

There is one particularly genius bit of flow-promoting design I noticed. You probably didn't even notice it if you played, because it's a very subtle thing.

Games are composed of nouns and verbs - objects, and their interactions. In Zelda games, the player has a variety of tools to interact with objects, and every time the game introduces a new noun, whether it be a new tool, enemy or environmental object, it needs to teach what verbs will work on it.

There's a section in chapter 5 (as I count it), where you're climbing up some rock towers in the Lanayru Sand Sea to reach an old house. This area introduces a new creature, a bird called the Furnix. To defeat them, your best weapon is the whip, which allows you to drag them in close to kill them with your sword. How does the game teach it to you?

Immediately before the first Furnix, you encounter some Peahats, which you already know have interactions with the whip (pulls them out of the ground) and the hookshot (once airborne, you can use them as grapple targets). The level has you do this once, as a refresher, then puts you on a platform with a few planted Peahats. You'll probably take your whip out to pop the Peahats, which seems to trigger the Furnix to spawn. You'll probably try the sword first, and quickly find that it doesn't work. What will you try next? Well, you already have the whip ready, maybe try that. It's the path of least resistance for players, and while they won't always follow that path, a good number of them will. The Peahats, a known noun to the player, primed them with the proper verb for the Furnix, an unknown noun. It isn't the only hint as to what tool to use - the Furnix's tail looks like some of the previous whip targets - but it helps.

I spotted this "priming" technique again in Chapter 6. You're exploring the Fire Sanctuary, and you encounter some piles of dust. Previously, you'd learned that items are often hidden in dust piles, and can be obtained by using the Gust Bellows. Shortly after, your path is blocked by puddles of lava, a new challenge. The Gust Bellows may still be on your item button, and "blow on thing to cool it off" is an intuitive interaction, right? And indeed, that's how you have to solve this puzzle.

I have more examples of priming, and I probably missed a bunch of other uses, but two is probably enough.

This is clever. This lets the player be the one to figure out what tool to use, but it makes it so that they're more likely to get it right with their first guess. The game isn't telling you what to do, it isn't holding your hand, it's just making you have the right tool in your hand. It keeps the game flowing.

Okay: Loftwing travel

Pretty much every 3D Zelda game uses some sort of overworld faster-travel mechanism to make the world seem larger while still having acceptable travel times (walking back and forth across a large overworld to get to the place you need to be is very flow-disrupting). Ocarina of Time let you ride a horse. Wind Waker had a boat. Skyward Sword's transportation is based on the Loftwing, a large, rideable bird.

By themselves, the riding mechanics are good enough. The lack of camera control can make sharp turns messy, but it feels good, and while I'm not 100% sure if it makes any actual difference, it seems to give the player stuff to do to get from point A to point B faster. Overall, it feels like a better, three-dimensional version of the ship in Wind Waker.

The problem comes from the context it's placed in. The sky world itself is barren, with only a few destinations worth visiting on their own, and the small islands with the Goddess Cubes are unneeded until you've done something on the surface. The two most worthwhile destinations nominally in the sky, Skyloft and the Lumpy Pumpkin, are behind loading screens. Traveling to the surface is done by singular points - you can't skim the treetops in your Loftwing, you never dodge ejecta to dive into the volcano, you just fly to a point in the sky, jump off, then select the right spot on the surface-world map to appear there.

Reducing the overworld to a set of loading-screen transition points makes the overworld feel tedious. It doesn't invite exploration, it doesn't present a meaningful challenge, it just exists and you have to go through it.

The three-dimensionality of flight may have been part of the problem. Enemies do exist, but they seem very scarce because they can be avoided effortlessly by flying higher or lower. It also forced a more empty overworld to avoid the complexity of real three-dimensional navigation, which quickly becomes maze-like.

The clustering of important destinations together in Skyloft, behind a loading screen, seems to have been primarily a technical problem. Having both the huge sky overworld and the populated, detail-rich town be in memory at the same time would have overtaxed the 88MiB of memory the Wii had. If the choice was "have one big, rich sky-island with everything on it" or "have the town scattered across dozens of islands, but they're all boring and identical", they clearly made the right choice... but there were other options. There was no reason Skyward Sword needed to use the sky as a setting, or use giant bird mounts for travel. Perhaps they only discovered this after the artists had produced too many assets for the sky to throw it all away? Maybe they thought they could optimize enough to fit a rich sky world? This is a flaw they had to have been aware of, even though it's not that painful to the player. I actually found it kind of relaxing. But I also enjoy flight simulators, so I might be an anomaly here.

Bad: Horrible UX flow

We come now to what I consider the second-greatest flaw of the game. The game constantly disrupts its own flow at a very low level. Little things constantly drag you out of the experience.

For example, every time you pick up a crafting-trash item for the first time, it pauses to pull up the inventory screen, show the new thing appearing in its spot, and show the item count going up by one. The whole process takes about seven seconds, by my rough count. That seems like a minor quibble, but two things make it worse.

About a third of these crafting items are dropped by enemies. Lizard tails? Jelly blobs? You pick these up by walking over them after killing an enemy, and these enemies almost always come in groups. So you kill one, and are running towards another, sword drawn... and the game yanks you out of that combat flow to tell you that you picked up a thing. By the time you get back to the fight, your timing is completely thrown off, and you might even take a hit from an enemy you were about to block, but now have no time to react to.

As an extra insult, it resets the state of "have you picked up this item" every time you load your save. It doesn't matter if you already have thirty of them, the game considers it absolutely vital for you to know that, when you step over a monster horn, it's putting it into your inventory. And to rub salt in the wound, it appears that the game's save file actually tracks whether you've picked up the item before, even if you no longer have any! The save file knows "this player has picked up Ornamental Skulls before, we should let them look at the item description even though they used them all in crafting", but it doesn't bother to check that when deciding whether to ruin a fight for you by wasting several seconds on an inventory screen pop-up. I'm a programmer, I know how easy it would have been to check the "have they ever had this item?" variable instead of the "have we shown the pickup sequence for this item this play session?" variable. Fixing this should have taken five minutes, tops. It might actually have been faster to do it this way to begin with.

The item pickups are not the only instance. This game's companion, Fi, repeatedly pops up to explain things - most infuriatingly, in my playthrough she popped up during the final battle to tell me that my health bar was low and I might want to drink a potion. But she's constantly popping up, relaying some information you've probably already heard and definitely don't need to hear again.

Cutscenes, too, are a constant interruption. Not the big ones, but the small ones. The short close shots of an major feature of a room that plays when you enter it. The reverse shots of the door closing and locking behind you. These are useful ways to keep the player informed, but Skyward Sword uses them so often it becomes grating.

Games suffer greatly when the player isn't allowed to play it without interruption, and Skyward Sword filled itself with interruptions.

#the legend of zelda #everyzeldaproject #loz #skyward sword #game design

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templified · 5 years

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Best WordPress Food Blog Themes | Templified

New Post has been published on https://templified.com/food-blog-wordpress-themes/

Best WordPress Food Blog Themes

If you’re a blogger trying to share recipes, sell recipe books, or you’re just an all-around food enthusiast, you’ll want to find the ideal WordPress food Blog theme. But with so many themes out there, how do you pick one? Seriously, it shouldn’t be that hard, but there are hundreds and hundreds of food blog themes out there, how can you find the right one for your website?

You’ll certainly want to find a theme with a responsive design, so that your website looks great on all devices. So many people access recipes and stories about food via their mobile devices, so it’s more important than ever that you give them a great user experience. We found an amazing assortment of WordPress themes, many with recipe building plugins included, some of them integrating with other plugins to help you create an amazing food-related website. No matter what type of blogging you’re doing, recipes or restaurant reviews, selling kitchen implements or something else entirely, one of these amazing WordPress themes should be perfect for your website.

With every one of these WordPress themes, you’ll get a theme that is easy to customize and one with fantastic support from the developer. These truly are the best WordPress food and recipe blogs available anywhere.

Superfood

This is Superfood, a vibrant, organically fun WordPress theme for food products, healthy living and downhome cooking. Yeehaw! Superfood is simple to use, easy to customize and it provides a cornucopia of options for styles, feels and looks. Wanta food blog that’s completely into social media? Super Food is definitely that. This thing is like a Kardashian with the Tweetagramming and the Instafacing.

I love the look of this template, Super Food gives you a dozen different homepage layouts to choose from. Now, if you don’t like the images, don’t worry, you’ll be subbing in your own. That’s something I noticed anout this theme, not all the images are things I’d pick. They’re okay, but I don’t know. I love them but I’m not *in* love with them. That’s nonsense anyway. Super Food is a popular offering from Elated Themes a relatively new theme maker but one that’s made an impression on a lot of folks already. Let’s peep some other designs really quick.

There are tons of different styles available in the demo section. For a food blog theme, you could definitely do a lot worse than Superfood! Check out their coffees shop demo. Cool fonts seem to be necessary for a good coffee shop. My favorite font maker is House Industries. Sudtipos is good too. In fact, I love Sudtipos so much, I used their Calgary Script font on my site’s logo. How do you like that? Or the bakery look. I can practically smell myself getting fatter. One thing I really do value about Super Food, the demo sites really do cover a wide array of what you could do with the template if you buy it.

There’s a grocery store theme, ideal for small grocers, organic shops, even local coops. How about a traditional WordPress restaurant theme look? It’s all available too you if you select Superfood. While Food Blog is obviously meant to be a, well, a food blog primarily, the portfolio page is snappy and fun. I think it lends itself pretty well to any sort of portfolio site, though maybe it’s a bit specialized for some tastes. Okay, so that’s Superfood. What do you think? If you want to get into a food blog, it’s a great choice. And still solid for some other uses too.