#2eriiou2ly dude

[tuxedokit]

TT: Damn

TT: To be honest i wasn't gonna do anything but like, these people are just a mess

TA: under2tandable

TA: 2ometiime2 the people need a ma2ter two 2tep iin [B<€

TA: good on you for beiing that guy

[double-ended]

Have yOu evEr plaYed flarP? I've hEard it'S preTty fun.

iit2 a game for iin2ane people. 2eriiou2ly, iim 2hocked nobody'2 diied playiing iit yet.

thii2? thii2 ii2 what ii mean by "2top playiing game2 for giirl2." thii2 ii2 the game iim talkiing about.

fuckiing hell dude.

yeah, ii looked at the rulebook, but iim more of a 2tay at home gamer iif you know what ii mean. the mu2tard 2tay2 iin the body.

[shittydrawnsollux]

TG: hey apparently i could explode or some shit TG: how do i like TG: not do that @shitty-davesprite-daily

TA: holy fuck how are you are you thii2 much of an iidiiot. and ii DIID warn you about the honey 2o that2 your own fault.

TA: anyway.

TA: ii 2ee your anon2 are 2tiill a2 annoyiing a2 they were la2t tiime ii talked two you 2o ii gue22 the offer of iip addre22 trackiing2 2tiill up

TA: but oh my gog ii KNOW ii 2aiid that repre22iing your emotiion2 wont help, but beiing forced two face them all at once ii2 equally a2 2tupiid?? alterniia wa2nt buiilt iin a day.

TA: and liike iim not commentiing on the whole egbert non2en2e youve heard enough of that, but forciing you intwo 2hiit ii2 not fuckiing helping.

TA: hone2tly? iif you dont want two hurt eb or anyone el2e, fiir2t off everyone 2eriiou2ly need2 two 2hut theiir ga2he2 and fuck off.

TA: and then YOU need two fuck off. iim beiing for real. go fiind 2ome empty fiield or 2omethiing and go a2 ape2hiit a2 you want. thii2 place ii2 weiird, iif youre careful iit 2hould bee fiine.

TA: and THEN you can talk two eb. agaiin there ii2 no way iim gonna 2tiick my2elf iintwo whatever the anon2 thiink you have goiing on but iif mentiion of hiim triiggered iit, you have 2ome 2hiit two 2elf reflect on.

TA: and... he clearly doe2 want two help you, for 2ome rea2on. and whiile you 2hould protect hiim from gettiing... hiit whiile youre 2tiill out of control, he doe2 de2erve at lea2t an actual conver2atiion.

TA: ......dont diie dude.

TA: holy fuck how are you this much of an idiot. and i DID warn you about the honey so thats your own fault.

TA: anyway.

TA: i see your anons are still as annoying as they were last time i talked to you so i guess the offer of ip address tracking is still up

TA: but oh my gog i know i said that repressing your emotions wont help, but being forced to face them all at once is equally as stupid?? alternia wasnt built in a day.

TA: and like im not commenting on the whole egbert nonsense youve heard enough of that, but forcing you into shit is not fucking helping.

TA: honestly? if you dont want to hurt eb or anyone else, first off everyone seriously needs to shut their gashes and fuck off.

TA: and then YOU need to fuck off. im being for real. go find some empty field or something and go as apeshit as you want. this place is weird, if youre careful it should be fine.

TA: and THEN you can go talk to eb. again there is no way im gonna stick myself into whatever the anons you have going on but if mention of him triggered it, you have some shit to self reflect on.

TA: and... he clearly does want to help you, for some reason. and while you should protect him from getting... hit while youre still out of control, he does deserve at least an actual conversation.

TA: .......dont die dude.

[pesterloglog]

Sollux Captor, Terezi Pyrope

Act 5, page 2792

SOLLUX: are you 2tiill 2pyiing on that iin2ufferable priick.

SOLLUX: 2eriiou2ly a dude giive2 a giirl a few buck2 and 2uddenly 2he cant keep her no2e off hiim, iit ii2 2o prediictable.

TEREZI: SHUT UP SOLLUX H3S COOL

TEREZI: 1 DONT G3T WHY YOU DONT L1K3 H1M, H3 R3M1NDS M3 OF YOU 4 B1T

SOLLUX: you thiink iim cool?

TEREZI: SOM3T1M3S!

SOLLUX: how often?

SOLLUX: don't 2ay half the tiime.

TEREZI: >:|

SOLLUX: oh god ii walked riight iinto that one diidn't ii.

[twin-armageddons]

better fiigure out a way two half reblog iit then.

[turgidtangentimagines]

Fuckin. Sollux talking to a human about code. bonding over java or c# or something.

I made this into a semi-pesterlog situation because I was thinking back to a time sollux could talk to humans and, well, see code and alll the way back on the meteor seemed the most plausible and probable to me. Kinda came out a little less bond-y and a little more first-meeting sort of thing but i think it’s still pretty solid.

Also- I know nothing of those two code languages- I am most familiar with javascript. And then there’s this whole sburb situation… soo… yeah, bare with me.

If you just move that function here… and make that server call there… then you might just be able to shrink down this massive ui system. You’ve just. You gotta get this game running on your phone. You have to stop being so tethered to the portal system just to be sure your client player won’t die on you. 

There’s just been too much of that recently, death. And simultaneously the lack of death. This game- it’s just too strange. Between John’s ordeal with Terezi and the Davesprite-dead-timeline situation, you’ve been a little on edge to say the least. Between these trolls and this game, death could be lurking around any corner. Hopefully, with any luck at all, this app would keep it off your friends’ doorsteps.

With a jolt- pesterchum pings with the presumption that you’ll answer its chattery call. All it really does is make you aware of the trail of semi-colons you’ve left on the end of your code, nulling your command- and annoying you to no end. Finicky, finicky language. Being this drowsy isn’t exactly the most conducive thing to coding, but maybe you can get some muse flowing by trolling one of these dorks back. They never really seemed to expect that from you- the push-back. Your friends, even back on earth, seemed to humor and then evade their jests, your technique was simply to ignore their trolling till they were idle an ample about of time, say your piece, and- goddamnit.

–[[TA] TwinArmageddons began trolling [PC] PesterChum at 04:12]–

TA: hey. a22hole. what the hell are you doiing?

A quick Alt + tab and you’re back to your code. It’s important that you stay on- goddamned pop-up notifications.

TA: ye2. we’re talkiing. iit'2 happeniing.

TA: ii’ll a2k agaiin.

TA: what’re you doiing, a22hole?

Ctrl + Alt+ Delete, annd… he’s gone again. Guess you’re just going to have to lay off pestering your chums for a- oh god-with the phone-and the vibrating on ya leg-

PC: What do you want, I’m very busy.

TA: obviiou2ly.

TA: ii repeat a 2econd tiime:

TA: what are you doiing?

You put the phone down a moment to think. Only one other troll thus far had been so annoyingly hard to ignore, and even then it was because of your own need to communicate and not the fault of any of the technology around you. There were a few ways this could be happening, most of which are coincidental, but if you humor this troll for a few moments perhaps they’ll show their cards long enough to discern if there are any flaws in your impenetrable wall of troll ignorance. That, or, you’re so tired that that wall crumbled the 6 hours ago when you were supposed to be asleep. Whatever. You were coding on fumes anyway. Might as well look at something that’s not the editor for a min- aannd that dude isn’t shutting up.

TA: 2eriiou2ly, ii’m 2en2iing all 2ort2 of doomed tiimeliine2 waftiing through the viiewport2 and the wor2t ii2 comiing from none other than your2elf.

TA: miight a2 well 2ee what 2hiit your 2peciie2 ii2 gettiing iinto.

PC: Alright.

PC: I’m reconfiguring a copy of the game to allow me to run my client’s client editor on my phone in real time while continuing to run the game from my computer for my server player.

PC: Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.

PC: Except not.

PC: This is tedious.

PC: It’s like it was coded with the game equivalent of Dreamweaver.

A lapse in your conversation allows you a chance to delete all of those semicolons. Just how out of it were you, you must’ve added like 100 lines worth- ping!

TA: oh my gog. you’re fuckiing iin2ane.

PC: ???

TA: what the 2hiit do you thiink you’re doiing- diid you even code your game?

TA: no, you diidn’t.

TA: you’re readiing off gog know2 what developed by one of your iinferiior human grub de2iigner2 who couldn’t code the wiide 2iide of a moobea2t contaiinment faciiliity.

TA: 2top fuckiing wiith your game'2 code before you doom a miilliion tiimeliine2 iin the mo2t excruciiatiing way po22iible.

Okay, there was a lot you could take in life, insults normally being one of them. But an insult to your skill is simply a challenge in your book.

PC: I can read it.

PC: I can code it.

PC: And it’s happening.

You press the power button on your phone, but it just glitches right back to the conversation as soon as ya do. Fuckin glitchy ass last-gen smartphones, hardly able to run pesterchum anyway.

TA: okay look, ii diidn’t even want two troll you 2hiit2- ii ju2t wanted two leave you alone becau2e ii thought your 2peciie2 wa2 2tupiid enough two fiizzle out by iit2elf- but thii2 cro22e2 a liine.

TA: ii’ve 2uddenly caught a ca2e of giiviing a fuck.

Yeesh, this guy crosses all sort of lines. First with the technological illiteracy comments and now with the whole slandering your specie- man this guy gets wordy when he’s spooked.

TA: the game2 code ii2 not two be tampered wiith, iif runniing iit off of tho2e two 2hiitty human game grub2 de2troyed your uniiver2e- what the hell do you thiink you’d do ju2t fuckiing wiith iit for conveniience?

PC: Gain any semblance of agency I have left in this hellscape of a game.

PC: Keep my friends alive, and not be bogged down by all the shit of the universe while doing it.

PC: etc.

TA: …

TA: look.

TA: ii don’t know what iit ii2 about the code you’re wriitiing but ii know for a fact that nothiing good come2 of iit waay more than anythiing you’re actually tryiing two do doe2.

TA: ju2t. plea2e. don’t run that code.

TA: you’ll do more harm than good

TA: then your friiend2 wiill diie

TA: and then on top of that KK wiill nag me about iit.

At this point, this dude’s just becoming a drag. A pause and you come to realize that you are waay too tired to comb through this heap of code. You need some sort of break, a reprieve from thinking like a computer and a moment to think like a human being. Preferably a human who wasn’t coding or talking right now and slept for the next week. You gotta get this guy off your back, and only one way comes to your sleep-deprived mind.

PC: Fine then.

TA: what.

TA: really?

TA: you’re giiviing iit up that ea2iily?

PC: No.

TA: waiit. then what’re you doiing?

PC: Look.

PC: Dude.

PC: It’s waaay past midnight.

PC: I’m going to level with you:

PC: My code right now?

PC: Probably not my best work.

TA: no 2hiit.

PC: Not done.

PC: So this is either going one of two ways: you withdraw from this pestering- by force or by your own will- and I test my code like any developer would. Or- you actually help me, we test it, and I go the fuck to sleep.

PC: Your call.

You hold the phone like you’re waiting for a reply when in actuality you’ve closed your eyes and can feel the sweet sweet relief of no blue light forcing your eyes into a semi-alert hell. Your phone almost jiggles out of your hand with enough force to actually wake you up a little bit. You reluctantly open your eyes to see more dijon text in dual i’s.

TA: iin a biilliion alternate uniiver2e2 ii 2aiid fuck iit and let you run a code that'2 bugged two 2hiit whiile your 2e22iion cra2hed and burned.

TA: two be hone2t, kiinda wii2hiing thii2 wa2 one of tho2e, becau2e you’ve been nothiing but a paiin about liittle more than an alpha te2t for an acce22ory app.

TA: that you don’t even fuckiing need.

TA: you’re ju2t codiing for the 2hiit of iit.

TA: ju2t. what the hell.

PC: Well?

PC: What’s your answer troll dude, gonna help me debug this shit?

PC: Hack a game that’s fucked up our lives for just the slightest bit more control over it?

PC: Eh?

PC:…

PC: Yeah, that’s about as enticing as I can make that sound right now.

TA:…

TA: you know what?

TA: 2ure. you iin2ane apebea2t.

PC:…

PC: Call me y/n.

TA:…

TA: Sollux.

TA: Sollux Captor.

[gamesoft]

beautiful masterpiece

i was talking to @nora-the-weeb and suddenly it turned into a trollcops rp and it’s the funniest thing i’ve participated in ages. please read it i fucking beg you.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:23 AM

karkat, we got a ca2e of 'biig fii2h a22hole' on the corner of egbert and noiir

Nora - Today at 3:23 AM

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A HUGE PROBLEM.

TAKES HUGE BREATH

WEEWOO WEE FUCKING WOO

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:24 AM

you know we could probably get two iit fa2ter iif you diidn't riide on my fuckiing 2houlder2.

Nora - Today at 3:24 AM

... FUCK YOU I WANNA DO THAT WEE WOO WEE WOO

falls off

FUCK

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:25 AM

2hiit bro

do ii ju2t leave you here

ii thiink that'd be the mo2t amu2iing optiion by far

okay here ii go kk

Nora - Today at 3:25 AM

gets up

FUCK NO. I'M GOING WITH YOU.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:26 AM

psionics flashing again

weewooweewoo iit'2 2o fa2t and free wiith no vanta2 troubliing my poor, poor 2houlder2

Nora - Today at 3:28 AM

RUNS UP TO YOU

SHUT THE FUCK UP CAPTOR I DONT HAVE TO BE ON YOUR SHOULDERS IF YOU DONT WANT ME TO BE BUT AT LEAST LET ME COME FUCKING WITH YOU.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:29 AM

sighs, bends knees

get on.

Nora - Today at 3:29 AM

goes on your shoulders

FUCK YEAH.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:30 AM

WEE WOO WEE FUCKING WOO VANTA2 HOLD ON

psionics spark, sprinting

Nora - Today at 3:31 AM

WEE WOO WEE FUCKING WOO FUCKERS

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:33 AM

vanta2 how do you weiigh liike negatiive two pound2. liike ii know ii'm gonna fuckiing run intwo a briick wall iif ii don't pay attentiion but do you driink heliium for breakfa2t.

Nora - Today at 3:33 AM

I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM SO LIGHT BUT AT LEAST IT MAKES ME LESS OF AN INCONVENIENCE FOR YOU.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:34 AM

an abrupt stop. the fii2hy a22hole is near.

aha. you are the motherfucker, ye2?

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:37 AM

wwhat the fuck are you twwo doin evven

(wait shit i should probably put names now oof)

ERIDAN: wwhat the fuck are you twwo doin evven

Nora - Today at 3:39 AM

KARKAT: WE HAVE SPOTTED THE FISHY ASSHOLE. WHAT DO WE DO NOW, CAPTOR?

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:39 AM

SOLLUX: we got a report of a 2TUPIID FII2H face, that'2 what we're doiin, 'ewen'

ERIDAN: so you're doin me? i'm not opposed to that

SOLLUX: FUCK

Nora - Today at 3:40 AM

(i would say thats gay dude but karkat doesnt exactly know what it means)

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:41 AM

(let's say it's an au on earth c but sollux and eridan are Not Dead)

Nora - Today at 3:41 AM

KARKAT: THAT'S FUCKING GAY, CAPTOR. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:42 AM

SOLLUX wiggles his eyebrows at ERIDAN and thrusts

Nora - Today at 3:43 AM

KARKAT: ... YOU REALLY JUST DID THAT.

KARKAT: YOU. REALLY. JUST FUCKING DID THAT. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:43 AM

ERIDAN: wwell we're not fucking doin 'it' in front a you. yet.

Nora - Today at 3:44 AM

KARKAT: *HOOOOOLY FUCK.*

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:45 AM

SOLLUX: okay but 2eriiou2ly we know you what you diid ampora

ERIDAN: do i knoww wwhat i'vve done, evven?

Nora - Today at 3:46 AM

KARKAT: ... NO. BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:47 AM

ERIDAN: other than flirtin wwith this ravishin officer i mean

Nora - Today at 3:47 AM

KARKAT: THAT IS A HORRIBLE CRIME AND YOU NEED TO BE PUNISHED.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:48 AM

SOLLUX: waiit are you referriing two the fliirtiing or what we came here for.

Nora - Today at 3:48 AM

KARKAT: ... I AM ASSUMING HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE FLIRTING.

KARKAT: AS MUCH AS IT DISGUSTS ME.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:50 AM

SOLLUX: no ii mean were YOU 2ayiing the fliirtiing wa2 a criime that needed two be punii2hed or were you ju2t tryiing two be the bad cop of the iiconiic alterniian 'fliirty cop, bad cop' duo.

Nora - Today at 3:50 AM

KARKAT: THE FLIRTING. FOR SUBJECTING ME TO IT.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:50 AM

SOLLUX: well ii agree wiith you kk.

ERIDAN: oh sol ivve been such a bad boy

SOLLUX: fuck.

Nora - Today at 3:51 AM

KARKAT: ARREST HIM IMMEDIETELY.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:51 AM

ERIDAN: chain me up, captor

Nora - Today at 3:52 AM

KARKAT: *NO.* JUST. *NO*.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:52 AM

SOLLUX: ii don't know whether two be proud of your 2kiill iin iinuendo2 or two genuiinely fuckiing arre2t you.

SOLLUX: how about both

ERIDAN: mmm, i bet i knoww what else there's twwo of dowwn there.

ERIDAN winks

SOLLUX: what the FUCK

Nora - Today at 3:54 AM

KARKAT: I AM HIGHLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS CONVERSATION.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:54 AM

SOLLUX: me two.

SOLLUX binds ERIDAN's wrists together using psionics

ERIDAN: wwont you let me ride you this time sol

ERIDAN: kar already got a turn

SOLLUX: at thii2 poiint ii don't know iif that wa2 on purpo2e or iif ii ju2t have a diirty miind.

Nora - Today at 3:56 AM

KARKAT: ... WHY NOT BOTH.

KARKAT: BUT HONESTLY,  I WOULD HIGHLY APPRECIATE IT ERIDAN IF YOU WOULDN'T IMPLY THAT I ALREADY "HAD A TURN", AS IT IS NOT TRUE AND INACCURATE.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:57 AM

ERIDAN: youre right kar

ERIDAN: sol wwants me <3 (<?)

Nora - Today at 3:58 AM

KARKAT: I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT HE DOES NOT.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:58 AM

ERIDAN jumps on SOLLUX's shoulders, with his crotch uncomfortably close to SOLLUX's neck

SOLLUX: eriidan

Nora - Today at 3:59 AM

KARKAT: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE FUCKING DOING THIS.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 3:59 AM

SOLLUX: eriidan diid you actually get a fuckiing wriiggly

SOLLUX: ii can't fuckiing beliieve thi2

Nora - Today at 4:00 AM

KARKAT: ... I'LL HELP YOU GET HIM OFF.

attempts to pick up eridan off of sollux.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:02 AM

ERIDAN: no fuck you

ERIDAN: sol you cant pretend you wwerent flirtin at LEAST a smidgine at first

SOLLUX: ii never techniically 2aiid ii wa2 oppo2ed two 2exual ten2ion.

SOLLUX: your bulge agaiin2t my neck ii2 just

SOLLUX: how the fuck am ii even 2uppo2ed two put it iintwo word2

Nora - Today at 4:04 AM

KARKAT: IT IS MAKING YOU HIGHLY UNCOMFORTABLE? I DONT KNOW HOW TO WORD IT EITHER, BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:04 AM

ERIDAN: are you sure it isnt 'turned on'?

Nora - Today at 4:05 AM

KARKAT: YES I AM FULLY FUCKING SURE HE IS NOT BEING TURNED ON RIGHT NOW.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:05 AM

SOLLUX: you'll be reduced two an atom when ii'm done wiith you.

ERIDAN: oh and you wwould knoww kar wwouldnt you

ERIDAN: youvve already had a turn after all

Nora - Today at 4:05 AM

KARKAT: NO I HAVE *NOT*.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:06 AM

SOLLUX: we're leaviing, kk

Nora - Today at 4:06 AM

KARKAT: AGREED.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:06 AM

SOLLUX: pyrope can fuckiing handle hiim after that

ERIDAN: i want you to handle me first, sol~

SOLLUX fucking screams

Nora - Today at 4:07 AM

KARKAT: PLEASE, JUST, DON'T ERIDAN.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:18 AM

SOLLUX: well, techniically, a2 an OFFIICER, ii'm already handliing you. and look where that landed me.

SOLLUX: iit landed me 2mack dab in 'your wriithiing fuckiing bulge next to where blood goe2 two my fuckiing braiin' central

Nora - Today at 4:20 AM

KARKAT: I SWEAR TO GOD, ERIDAN, YOU MAKE ME SO INFURIATED.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:21 AM

ERIDAN: ok wwell im not lookin for short little hatefucks right noww kar so buzz off

ERIDAN: sol is 6' 1" and lookin prime as evver in that police uniform

Nora - Today at 4:21 AM

KARKAT: YOU KNOW HE DOESN'T WANT YOU EITHER, ERIDAN. YOU KINKY FUCKER.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:22 AM

SOLLUX sweats

SOLLUX: let'2 get goiing

SOLLUX: wee fuckiing woo ii gue22 fuck me

Nora - Today at 4:23 AM

KARKAT: ... WAIT YOU'RE SWEATING. THAT IS VERY SUSPICIOUS IF I SAY SO MYSELF, CAPTOR. HAVE ANYTHING TO... ADMIT PERHAPS?

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:23 AM

SOLLUX: i'm carryiing a dude wiith a fuckiing cape that ii2 5 foot fuckiing ten, vanta2

Nora - Today at 4:24 AM

KARKAT: ... I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT. ALRIGHT, YOU'RE DISMISSED.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:24 AM

ERIDAN: you knoww

ERIDAN: its hard to be transparent wwhen your pants are that tight sol

SOLLUX: eriidan ii 2WEAR TWO THE FUCKIING HORRORTERROR2

---

SOLLUX dumps ERIDAN onto the police station floor

SOLLUX: plea2e fuckiing take hiim pyrope ii'm beggiing you.

Nora - Today at 4:28 AM

KARKAT: HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID. DEATH GLARES ERIDAN.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:28 AM

TEREZI: 1 SM3LL S3XU4L T3NS1ON >:]

SOLLUX: don't encourage hiim.

Nora - Today at 4:29 AM

KARKAT: PLEASE. DON'T TEREZI.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:29 AM

TEREZI: WHY W4S H3 ON YOUR SHOULD3RS, OFF1C3R 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST?

SOLLUX: becau2e he wa2 tryiing two fuckiing 2educe me wiith hii2 fuckiing wriiggly. plea2e free me.

Nora - Today at 4:31 AM

KARKAT: I WAS HIGHLY UNCOMFORTABLE JUST *WATCHING* IT

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:31 AM

TEREZI: 1 KN3W TH4T'S WH4T TH4T SM3LL W4S!

SOLLUX: ii'm traumatiized and thii2 ii2 how you treat me gc

Nora - Today at 4:32 AM

PATS SOLLUX.

KARKAT: ME TOO, CAPTOR. ME TOO.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:44 AM

SOLLUX shivers

SOLLUX: iit'2 2tiill warm...

Nora - Today at 4:45 AM

KARKAT: YOU MEAN... YOUR NECK..? THAT'S HORRIBLE IF SO...

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:46 AM

SOLLUX: ye2 ii mean my fuckiing neck why the fuck are hiighblood2 2o 2tupiidly warm

ERIDAN: its so wwe can fill lowwbloods wwith our wwarmth sol

Nora - Today at 4:46 AM

KARKAT: I DUNNO, EITHER WAY, I AM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT. THAT WOULD HAVE SUCKED.

KARKAT: ... TAKE HIM AWAY. PLEASE.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:48 AM

TEREZI: F1N3. BUT SOLLUX W1LL B3 SUPERV1S1NG H1M WH1L3 ROS3 DO3S H1S P4P3RS. 4ND 1 W1LL B3 SUP3RV1S1NG SOLLUX. B3C4US3 1 TH1NK 1T'S FUNNY.

Nora - Today at 4:48 AM

KARKAT: ... THATS BETTER THEN WHAT IT COULD BE I SUPPOSE. WHAT DO YOU THINK SOLLUX?

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:49 AM

SOLLUX: ii thiink eriidan'2 2tiil 2tariing at my fuckiing bulge2 through the bar2, that'2 what.

ERIDAN: i wwas right!

Nora - Today at 4:49 AM

KARKAT: THAT'S FUCKING GROSS.

KARKAT: WHY IS ERIDAN SO PERVERTED AND MESSED UP...

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:50 AM

SOLLUX: because nobody love2 hiim ii gue22 he feel2 the need two compen2ate.

ERIDAN: you knoww at this point im not evven gonna make the joke im just gonna say 'phrasin' sol

Nora - Today at 4:51 AM

KARKAT: I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE, BUT DOESN'T JUSTIFY HIS LOWKEY SEXUAL HARASSMENT AGAINST YOU.(edited)

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:53 AM

SOLLUX: rose ii'm fuckiing DYIING

ROSE: I'd say Eridan is dying too. He's so lonely, the poor soul.

Rose does her patented Eyebrow Wiggle.

SOLLUX: you're not doiing the paper2 on purpo2e aren't you.

ROSE: I'm not saying Terezi convinced me, but Terezi convinced me.

Nora - Today at 4:55 AM

KARKAT: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:55 AM

SOLLUX: my liife ii2 an endle22 cycle of mii2ery

Nora - Today at 4:55 AM

KARKAT: I WISH I COULD HELP YOU IN SOME WAY.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:56 AM

ERIDAN: wwell i wwouldnt say youre too upset you still seem excited by the looks of it

SOLLUX: eriidan ii don't know iif ii'm re2traiiniing my2elf becau2e ii'm a cop or becau2e you'd be turned on by iit.

Nora - Today at 4:58 AM

KARKAT: WHO SAID THAT COULDVE BEEN CAUSED BY YOU, ERIDAN? AND JUST BECAUSE HE HAS THAT, DOESN'T MEAN HE IS ENJOYING IT.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 4:58 AM

SOLLUX: you know for 2ome rea2on ii don't want two talk about my bulge2 wiith my moiiraiil and a fuckiing fii2h pro2tiitute

Nora - Today at 4:59 AM

KARKAT: YEAH THATS UNDERSTANDABLE. I GUESS I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET HIM TO.. STOP. SORRY.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 5:00 AM

SOLLUX: no kk iit'2 fiine ii wa2 more jokiing. ii'd actually be ok iif you made 2tupiid bulge joke2 becau2e ii know they're ju2t joke2.

SOLLUX: eriidan though? not 2o 2ure.

Nora - Today at 5:00 AM

KARKAT: ... YEAH THATS ALSO UNDERSTANDABLE. AND HONESTLY I AGREE.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 5:01 AM

ERIDAN: theyre not jokes sol just so i can clarify

SOLLUX: NOPE. II'M OUTTA HERE. BYE. BYE. BYE.

SOLLUX exits the room with his eyes sparking

Nora - Today at 5:01 AM

KARKAT: I'M COMING WITH YOU I DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH THIS EITHER IM AFRAID IF YOU GO HE'LL START GOING FOR ME.

sleepyInsomniac - Today at 5:02 AM

TEREZI snickers. The papers were done the whole time.

Nora - Today at 5:02 AM

KARKAT FOLLOWS SOLLUX OUT OF THERE.

[twotoned2marta22-blog]

dude dude dude the cryptiid is the best title an you need to go for it, mines gonna be the Terrible and it kicks so much ass, i 100% promise you wouldnt regret that one - flippinOptimist

U2e a joke for a tiitle?? Well, why not. Tiitle2 are u2ed two 2eriiou2ly, anyway.

[hskin-stuffarchive]

Hi! Could you make a post for a sad depressed mayor who just wants to be happy again :(

ii’m gonna a22ume you meant a po2iitiiviity po2t, but iif you diidn’t, feel free two reque2t 2omethiing el2e when reque2t2 open agaiin!

fiir2t ii want two iinform you that ii love you. liike dude. the mayor ii2 probably my favoriite character, liike? you’re awe2ome dude!!

anyway2. my liittle gay rant a2iide. ii totally under2tand what you’re goiing through. iit 2uck2 and iit’2 really hard, but there’2 alway2 people there for you. go talk two a friiend, or a parent, or that one teacher you really really liike, or hell go talk two your dog. liike ii’m not even kiiddiing, ii’ve brought my dog iintwo my room before and ju2t pet her and criied iin her fur. iit 2eriiou2ly help2. ii don’t exactly recommend doiing thii2 wiith cat2 though, unle22 your cat love2 affectiion. ii’m rambliing 2orry.

baby 2tep2 al2o help a lot! go talk two that one mutual you really liike, or go 2ay hii two 2omeone you follow and wanna be friiend2 wiith. or try cleaniing a liittle biit of your room, or try drawiing/wriitiing 2omethiing, or take a 2hower, and 2o on.

iif none of thii2 help2, try talkiing two your parent2 (iif you’re a miinor) and 2ee iif they’ll take you two a coun2ellor. they can help way more than we can, and iif nece22ary they can put you on med2 two help you further.

ii hope ii wa2 able two help iin 2ome way. iif you need 2omeone two talk two, feel free to me22age me @turntechgnostalgic.

-mod 2ol

[2twopiid]

@spankhops tumblr ii2 a 2hiithole. and iit’2 2eriiou2ly not a biig deal, dude. liike ii told you, ii don’t legally exii2t on my planet.

[shittydrawnsollux]

TA: ehehehehehe dude whatt the hell wa2 that noii2,e you ju2t made. that wa2 hiilariiou2.

TA: liike ii2aiid.., a dare2 a dare

TA: and ii diid 2ay ii would. ehehehe

TA: but 2eriiou2ly that wa2 2o loud what the fuck. can you really get that loud...... ehehehe.

TA: gof you ta2te bad. feather2 iin my mouth.

TA: dare22 a dare.

@shitty-davesprite-daily