#2snsitive4thIntanet

[p0v2snsitive4thintnet]

𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝕯𝖚𝖒𝖕 #1

Too sensitive for the Internet’s judgement

I feel like as if I am well suited for autoethnographies. It feels so easy for me to not pre-analyse myself and just stick to putting down my genuine, uncorrupted thoughts and primal feelings. Although I often don’t trust my own feelings and judge them before feeling them. Like not letting myself be sad for example, because being sad is supposed to be a waste of time and something most people are not interested in.

This doesn’t stem from researching as you (the reader) can imagine - I believe it is linked to my general lack of self confidence and me wanting to protect myself from disappointing someone else by disappointing myself first. 

How does this relate to my internet experience, you ask? I think it explains why this project is called “2 snsitive 4 th intnet”. At the same time - I am producing multiple cultural objects such as Text, Images, Montages, Maps, Collages and so on but I still feel very reluctant to share them on Social Media or show them to anyone, or even finish them. Because if they are shared, if they are out there, people would be able to connect them to me and me as the person Lisa or electro_lyzer. They would judge what I did. Inherently. Of course they would. Everyone judges everything all the time. That’s even more true for pieces of art. 

In fear of this judgement, and having the feeling that everything I do is constantly being evaluated, I rather refrain from producing any judge-worthy materials or share the view I have with others. 

I am too sensitive for the vastness, the immediacy and the straight-forwardness of the internet.