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prettyyyboyluke · 1 year

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Fuck About It Later

using my sex life for this

ashton’s throat was raw when he woke up. him and y/n were screaming at each other all night, and it didn’t help that they were both stubborn. neither of them would back down, admit their wrongs, none of it. the fight started off small to begin with, y/n finally got fed up with ashton saying that he’ll do things around the house, but then never does. so, she called him out on it, and ashton didn’t like the way her attitude was when she spoke to him. y/n was rarely threatened by ashton’s voice when they would argue, she would raise her’s just to match his. everything that ashton did, y/n mirrored back to him. his tone, his body language, even hand movements. the icing on the cake was when y/n crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at ashton when he couldn’t find anything else to say.

the rest of that night, no one spoke, the entire house was silent. even though they were both furious with each other, they still went to bed together. their legs were still tangled under the sheets, but ashton wasn’t holding y/n like he normally does. and to be frank, y/n was a little sad about it, but her pride got in the way of saying anything. ashton wanted to hold her too, but his pride too got in the way.

y/n didn’t bring up their fights the next morning, mostly because she doesn’t like to feel her feelings. she’d much rather forget it and move on, and that bothered ashton. when y/n woke up in the morning, her and ashton were on complete opposite sides of the bed. she sat up slowly, looking over at ashton facing the wall, and smiled weakly. ashton heard y/n wake up, he woke up about an hour before she did. he watched her sleep for a little bit, just listening to the small snores that came from her. when he felt her start to stir awake, he turned back over and closed his eyes so y/n would think he’s still sleeping.

y/n got out of bed, checking her phone before heading to the bathroom to shower. when ashton felt y/n get up, he waited until he heard their bathroom door shut, and got up himself. he made their bed, picked up the spare clothes that didn’t make it to the hamper, and sat back on the bed until y/n got out of the shower. he knows y/n won’t bring up their fight, he doesn’t think he will either, but he’s not letting her completely off the hook.

in the shower, y/n was thinking about what her and ashton were screaming at each other. she knows she hit places that hurt, and she regrets it, truly. she pushed it to the back of her mind, and started thinking on her plans for the day. y/n had no idea if ashton would be in their bed room when she got out of the shower. normally after they fight, he’s downstairs in his office. when she finally finished rinsing out the conditioner in her hair, she stepped out, and put a towel on. she brushed her hair and put some product in it so it could get wavy.

y/n opened the door and saw ashton sitting on their bed. it shocked her. she didn’t know what to say, or if she should say anything at all. ashton just stared at her, keeping his eye contact with her. y/n was the first to tear her eyes away, feeling her cheeks heat up. she took a deep breath before speaking, “good morning.” she walked to their closet, starting to pick out clothes for the day. ashton followed her into the closet, watching her pick out her outfit. he extended his hand out for y/n to take. y/n was hesitant, but took his hand, and followed him back into their room. he took her to the edge of the bed, making her sit. he wasn’t sure if he wanted to say anything or not.

she was holding her own hands, circling her thumbs over each other. he could hear her breath pick up when they were face to face with each other. she swallows the lump in her throat, wishing she had more than a towel on. ashton grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. he gives her forehead a lingering kiss and walks into the bathroom so can shower. y/n’s confused. she doesn’t know if she should wait until ashton’s out of the shower or if she should continue to get ready for the day. she goes back and forth in her mind before deciding on waiting until ashton’s out of the shower. she’s not taking any chances of getting in trouble.

when he walks out of the bathroom, he’s a little shocked to see y/n still sitting on the bed the way he left her. she doesn’t say anything to him, she waits for him to start talking. “c’mon, get ready. we have stuff to do today.” ashton finally says, his voice sounding raspy.

ashton and y/n ran their errands. ashton still had his hand on her thigh, and y/n still played with his fingers. all she was thinking about was their morning. she kept racking her brain about what ashton was going to do, if he was going to do anything, she had no idea. part of her wants to bring it up, but the other part of her doesn’t. there wasn’t much conversing between them. “have you asked paula how her finals went?” ashton asks, breaking the silence.

y/n looks over to ashton, his eyes still focused on the road. “yeah, she said that her stats one was easy, she feels okay about anthropology, and she still has her biology final.” y/n answers. ashton hums at her response. y/n has an uneasy feeling in her stomach that she can’t shake, so, she finally swallows her pride and begins to bring up their fight. “can we talk about-“ she begins to say but ashton cuts her off.

“no. you don’t seem to like it when we talk.” ashton says curtly. y/n knows ashton’s right, she just can’t help thinking about what happened in the morning still. “we can fuck about it later.” he says. y/n whips her head to look at ashton. he’s completely unfazed about the comment he just made. his hand starts squeezing the inside of her thigh, causing y/n’s reaction to close her legs. she relaxes them a minute after ashton softens his grip. the butterflies that were once in her stomach moved down to her pussy. she can feel the wetness in her panties begin to pool.

ashton moves his hand further up her thigh, happy that she wore a dress today, he let his pinky trace pattens dangerously close to her pussy. y/n puts her hand over ashton’s, guiding him further up her thigh. once he reaches her clothed pussy, he pushes a finger against her clit. y/n lets out a small breath, moving her hips the slightest bit against his finger. ashton keeps his eyes on the road while he moves his finger slowly against y/n’s clit. as soon as her breath begins to pick up, they pull up to their driveway. ashton moves her panties to the side, sliding his middle and ring finger between her folds. “god you’re wet,” he whispers to her.

y/n turns her head to look at ashton, her eyes are soft and her lips are in a small pout. “don’t give me that look, i have half the mind to punish you right now.” ashton says to her. he pushes his fingers into her pussy, watching as she shutters. her thighs freeze and her hands are in fists at her sides. ashton’s watching his fingers move in and out of y/n. her head leans against the head rest, and she closes her eyes. “oh, you’re not gonna cum yet. nice girls get to cum, and you doll, haven’t been very nice.” ashton says, referring to their fight.

he takes his fingers out of her pussy, licking them clean, and getting out of the car. y/n follows ashton inside quickly. ashton puts everything away that they bought before heading to their bed room. “are you scared, doll?” ashton asks once he sees her looking everywhere but at him. she shakes her head no, but they both know she’s lying. y/n wasn’t scared ofashton, she was scared about what he could do to her. “take the dress off, and sit on the bed.” he tells her.

y/n wastes no time and takes her dress off. she sits on the edge of the bed, watching ashton undress himself. he leans down to face her, leaning on his hands that are on the edge of the bed. y/n leans back, flickering her eyes between ashton’s lips and his eyes. ashton brushed her hair off her shoulders, looking down at her breasts. the dress she chose didn’t make her wear one. ashton caressed her cheek, pulling her in so her mouth could meet his. he nipped at her lips before kissing her softly and desperately. his other hand slid across her breast, rolling her nipple between his fingers.

ashton pulled away, dragging his thumb against her bottom lip and letting it bounce back into place. y/n moved further up the bed so ashton could tower over her. she spread her legs for him, allowing his hips to fit between them. y/n leaned her head up to kiss ashton again, and began moving her hips into him. he groaned into the kiss and pushed his cock harder against her. y/n drags her hand slowly down ashton’s stomach until it met the spot where they were connected. she snaps the waist band of his boxers, pushing them down as far as she can.

they both break the kiss, ashton taking off his boxers along with y/n’s panties. he lets his cock slide between her folds, feeling how much wetter she was. they’re both rolling their hips into each other, whines filling the room. ashton takes his cock and pushes into y/n. her head falls back, feeling ashton stretch her walls. ashton slowly begins to move his hips once he feels y/n relax around him. she looks up at him, grabs his face, and brings him down for another kiss. y/n smiles into the kiss when she feels ashton in her stomach.

“i’m filling you up so perfectly, doll.” his fingers skated over her clit, and she bit down on his bottom lip as her legs began to shake. “you need me? you need me to fuck you until you’re unable to move without remembering me inside of you?” he says to her, picking up his pace. y/n nods her head harshly, letting her head fall completely into the pillows.

“yes! it feels so good,” she moans. her body began to tense up embarrassingly fast. “oh god, please don’t stop,” she whispers. ashton grabs her hips, moving her up and down his cock. y/n can feel her orgasm approach her, but she isn’t sure if ashton is going to let her cum. “i-i’m almost there, fuck,” she moans. ashton keeps his same pace, maybe thrusting harder once or twice to see her back arch.

he knows when y/n’s about to cum, but he has no intent in letting her cum this early. he brings her hips all the way down so her clit brushes against his pelvic bone. he holds her there, his grip on her hips getting stronger. “i’m not letting you cum just yet, you have a long way to go, doll. if you want it, you’re gonna have to work for it.” ashton rasps. y/n groans and starts to roll her hips into ashton. he guides her, picking her up a few times to thrust up into her.

“please, let me cum!” y/n begs, keeping the motion of her hips continuous.

ashton shakes his head, “not yet, baby.” he slips his cock out of her and starts to lay back on the bed. “c’mon, i want you to show me how you use that mouth, without yelling at me.” he tells her. y/n wants to roll her eyes and sigh heavily, but she knows that that’ll put ashton over the edge. she sits up, still looking at him with soft eyes, and takes his cock in her hand.

he grabs her hair and puts it in a make shift pony tail. once y/n’s lips are around the tip of his cock, he slowly guides her head up and down. she hollows her cheeks, letting her tongue lick the underside of his cock. ashton throws his head back, still guiding y/n’s head. she brings his cock all the way to the back of her throat until she gags, letting her spit coat him.

“god, your mouth feels so good, doll. i like it better when it’s filled like this.” he tells her. he lets himself get close to releasing in her mouth, but stops himself. y/n takes her mouth off of him, keeping her hand moving up and down his cock. “get back on my cock, i need to be inside you,” he rushes out, pulling y/n on top of him. he turns her around so he can’t see her face.

ashton grabs her wrists and brings them behind her back. she finally sinks down on his cock, whining as she does. y/n moves her hips in circles, loving how ashton felt so deep inside her. she throws her head back, arching her back as she does. ashton’s grip on her wrists didn't loosen up. y/n starts to lift her hips up down, finding her rhythm that makes her eyes close and lips smile. ashton starts to snap his hips up to meet y/n’s, gradually having y/n on her knees.

y/n wraps her hands around ashton’s forearms, digging her nails into his skin. her moans start filling up the room and the sound of skin slapping echos throughout. her back is arched as far as it can go and her legs are already shaking. “you like being fucked like this, huh? you like it when i treat you like a slut?” ashton grits, slapping her ass. she jolts forward when he does, nodding her head so fast she gets dizzy.

she starts to fall forward on the bed, her cheek flush against the duvet. now her grip on ashton’s forearms start to slip, but his never lets go. “i asked you a question, doll, i expect you to answer me,” ashton says to her. y/n can’t remember what he said to her, so she just says a meek yes. her body starts to go limp, hoping that ashton will let her cum soon.

“please, please, i wanna cum,” she whispers.

ashton can feel her pussy tighten around his cock, making him start to feel his orgasm. he groans loudly, “alright, fuck, cum for me baby, let me hear you,” he breaths.

she starts to move her wrists, trying to get out of his grip, but to no avail. “oh my god, yes!” she moans loudly. she pushes her hips towards ashton, feeling him sink further into her. “daddy, it feels so good,” she slips out. ashton throws his head back, starting to feel his cock throb inside y/n’s wet, pink walls.

“fuck, keep squeezing me like that,” he moans, stilling inside her. y/n whimpers when she feels ashton cum inside her, still feeling her orgasm come down. she’s focusing on catching her breath, she doesn’t realize ashton has slipped out of her. he brushes her hair off her shoulder, kissing it softly. “always end up being a good girl for me,” he whispers to her.

y/n smiles, opening her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek. ashton swipes it away for her. “i like it when you fuck me like that.”

#ashton irwin smut #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin preference #ashton irwin 5sos #ashton irwin #ashton #ai #5 seconds of summer smut #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer preference #5 seconds of summer #5sos smut #5sos imagine #5sos preference #5sos

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causeyoudontgotoparties · 7 months

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Focus

Rating: mature

Pairing: poly!cake x female reader

Warnings: oral (fem receiving), subspace?, aftercare

___

You didn’t know how you got here. Back against Luke’s bare chest, thighs propped up on his, completely naked against him.

Whimpers and pleas spilling out of your mouth as Calum buried his head between your legs. Vigorously flicking his tongue at your sensitive bud as Luke’s hands rested on your tits.

Your fallen head against Luke’s shoulder, face in the crook of his neck desperately trying to keep your whimpers quiet.

You felt Luke’s hand grip your jaw, making you look forward.

“Focus, lovie.” He said, referring to the movie he had playing on the screen ahead of you. Calums assault on your clit had not slowed down, eating you out like a starved man.

“Please i-i can’t, p-please let me cum.” You stuttered, feeling yourself closer to your orgasm.

Calum slightly pulled away from your cunt, “I dunno sweetheart, don’t think you deserve it.” He fake pouted.

“Do you think she deserves to cum Luke?” Calum said, looking at the blue eyed boy.

You looked up at look him with teary doe eyes and pouted lips, hoping he would cave and let you have your release.

Luke looked down at you, mocking your pout, “ I don’t think so lovie.”

“b-but I was good .” You whimpered as calum buried his head in between your thighs again.

Luke roughly grips your chin, “don’t be a brat, you’ll get to cum when we’re ready to let you.”

“Now focus baby.” He said, turning your head to the screen in front of you once again.

Your head lolled side to side, your bottom lip between your teeth as you felt your release quickly approaching, legs shaking with anticipation.

“Okay lovie, you can cum, show calum how much of a good girl you are.” He said into your ear.

Calum slowly slipped a thick finger into your heat, thrusting at a quick pace paired with his mouth, while Luke’s fingers carefully tweaked with your nipples.

Your thighs began to shake with pleasure, soft whimpers spilling out of your mouth once again.

Calum pushed a second finger into you, thrusting at a pace you didn’t even think was possible, his tongue still vigorously attacking your clit. You could’ve swore you stars.

Your moans grew louder as you felt a gush of pleasure between your legs. Your body convulsed as Calum pulled away slightly to press soothing kisses on your thighs while you slumped against luke as he played with your hair.

“Did so good sweet girl.” Calum said kissing up your body, reaching your face and pecking your lips. “So proud of you.”

Your mind still fuzzy as you tried to find your surroundings again. Trying to sit up ever so slightly to regain your conscious.

“Woah, easy there baby, you’re still up in the clouds, yeah? How ‘bout we get you a bath and relax.” Luke said in your ear as he lifted you up and carried you to the bath.

Before you knew it, you were in the tub and both boys were dressed and sitting at the side of the tub, helping clean you up.

Why is everything moving so fast?

“You did so good lovie, my best girl.” Luke cooed, as he washed your body. Cal carefully combing his fingers through your hair.

Before you knew it, you were being lifted out of the tub and carried to the room. Cal had dressed you in an oversized t-shirt and panties.

You had opened your eyes to find yourself in between the both of them as you felt yourself coming back.

“H-hi” you stuttered as you looked between the two of them.

Luke took your face into his hands, “hi sweetheart, you went all floaty on us, cal make you feel that good?” He teased.

You buried your head into the pillow to hide your blushing from the both of them.

Cal wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close, “no need to be embarrassed princess, I find it flattering.” He rasped into your ear.

The both of them whispering sweet little nothings to you until you drifted off to sleep with your two favorite boys.

#5 seconds of summer smut #luke hemmings smut #5sos fluff #calum hood imagine #calum hood smut #luke hemmings imagine #poly!cake #poly!5sos #5 seconds of summer oneshot #5 seconds of summer imagine #calum hood oneshot #luke hemmings oneshot

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 9 months

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Hi there...I understand you're taking requests 👀. Could I please get an Ashton Irwin x reader friends to lovers? Maybe he confesses his feelings to reader who feels the same but doesn't think they should be together because he has to go on tour (distance). But they end up together with some smut. I hope you can write this one, if not I understand. Thanks so much 😊

Hi, thanks for dropping a request. I hope you enjoy it doesn't get steamy, if I'm honest. I hope that's okay. If it's a problem, please let me know!

Requests are open briefly until the 24th. Any NSFW content (smut, etc) must be requested off anon to ensure no minors (those 17 and below) are requesting the content.

Feel free to look through my masterlist for more. You can submit a request through my asks.

________________________________

It’s a tradition, one that you’d personally be damned in trying to pinpoint when it had grown into such. But lack of clarity on its inception doesn’t undermine the tradition that brings you here, two nights before the tour sitting across from Ashton. He’s giggling at his own story, napkin clutched into one of his hands. Your cheeks hurt from how much you’ve been smiling and laughing at it as well. You and Ashton are always here two nights before any tour with dinner. Whether he cooks, or you cook, or you eat out--it doesn’t matter. The two of you make sure to set time aside for each other regardless.

“I’m so serious,” Ashton giggles. “Guy straight up offered fifty bucks for the t-shirt I was literally wearing. Right off my back.”

“The real question,” you start, setting your bottle down after your sip, “is did you actually give this rando your shirt off your back for fifty bucks?”

Ashton’s smile changes, the bright honey curve of his lips morphs into something softer and more mischievous. “I got a good lunch afterwards though.”

“Ashton!” you scold, tufts of laughter bubbling from your chest. You know the possibility always exists with Ashton. It would be hard to imagine that he wouldn’t do something just for the story of it.

“I didn’t take the cash! But he treated me to lunch, since I did sort of give him the shirt off my back.”

“You didn’t sort of do anything,” you huff, finishing off the last pieces of your food. Ashton’s plate sits with just another bite or two of the pasta. Somehow the food’s gone faster than you two have even calculated for, but that won’t stop you. With the settling evening, Ashton’s backyard is a comfortable solace, a nice place to rest for a little.

“Guilty as charged,” Ashton returns. He scrapes up the last of his food as the conversation lulls for a moment. He watches though, the way you stare up and behind him, like your mind’s taken you to places behind the court of his house. “But how’s work? For you?”

You’d asked Ashton how his life was going and it sent him spiraling. He can go a mile a minute but he’s never far from always checking in on you. You shrug at Ashton’s question. Your life has fallen a little mundane though your work is anything but.

You’d fallen into Ashton’s world when he frequented the record shop you worked out in the last year of your master’s program. You needed the cash on the side. Though the days were long between school, work, and homework, you found a little slice of quiet in that shop. It was a local gem, hidden in the debris of a crumbling shopping center. But locals knew the record shop well and would take the hike to unearth the treasure.

Ashton was one of those locals. He spotted you as you placed prices on new arrivals and asked if anything specific came in worth looking for. You shrugged in response, but lifted out some limited edition vinyls with a yawn. You’re not sure what joke you made specifically, but it was enough. Ashton laughed like his life depended on it and more and more he came into the shop. You two exchanged names, then numbers, growing closer and closer as time passed. In just a year, you could tell that Ashton was going to be someone important in your life. You’d never imagine the scale, and still can’t. But you told yourself even if Ashton was there for a season it would be spring and bring forth all sorts of new life.

Now, you’re four and half years into your friendship and it still grows and grows. You’ve left the record shop, settling into talent management and running in leagues adjacent to Ashton’s. It’s not the most glamorous job on the planet, but it pays the bills. The only downside to the field is that drama from others becomes your drama just by association. You have to get in the dirt sometimes as much as you definitely didn’t want to. And Ashton knows how much you dislike some of the aspects of your job.

“Is that a shrug that means same old, same old? Or is that a shrug that means big shit?” Ashton questions. “I’d hazard a guess closer to the latter.”

“You win another year of friendship,” you laugh, finally focusing your gaze back on Ashton. His honey eyes are melting with concern as he gazes up at you. It makes your stomach flutter and you hate the feeling. Hate that the two of you were always dancing.

“I wasn’t worried for a second about that. You’re stuck with me. It’s in the contract.”

“I signed no such thing,” you tease. “I need to see that one.”

“It’s written in invisible ink,” Ashton snorts. “But seriously, what’s wrong? Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s just a mess.” You’re not supposed to get into specifics, but it’s never once stopped you when it came to Ashton. “It’s sensitive information really and not something I want to spread around even if it’s to safe ears.”

Ashton nods. “I’m sure you see and hear a lot of shit.” He knows you’re working specifically with someone up and coming. They’re young and if Ashton knows anything from his younger years, it’s that trouble comes with freedom and excitement. Some mistakes though just need to be learned the hard way. So Ashton assumes it’s something big for you to even keep it quiet.

“Too much shit. We’re talking with lawyers,” you divulge.

Ashton whistles. He’s no stranger to lawyers but he knows that when they get into the mix it gets messy fast. But they aren’t there for no reason, no little reason that is. “Fuck. Is this like…criminal?”

You shake your head. “It’s technically a civil matter but it could easily get criminal with my client’s hothead.”

“You’ve mentioned that before,” Ashton comments. Once before the two of you were catching up over lunch and your phone rang. Not the first time Ashton’s been inside a police station but it is the first time he’s been in one where he thought a crime might happen right next to an officer. To say he thought you could spit fire that day is not eloquent enough for your rage. “Well, I hope it doesn't get criminal. I know it’s gotta be a nightmare for you though. You’ve only been working with them for what? 6 months?”

“Eight,” you correct, “but it’s not long enough to be dealing with lawyers on a first name basis.”

Ashton reclines into his seat, arms folded over his chest. You rest your cheek against the flat of your knuckles, elbows resting on the table. Though you’re smiling, Ashton knows just how unamused you are at the situation. “How long have you been dealing with this situation?”

“Two months? Maybe a little less, but like we’re about to get the two month mark.”

“God damn.”

You can only nod, a hum leaving your throat. “Yeah, but that’s boring and a buzzkill.”

Ashton doesn’t miss the way you spin the bottle of alcohol free beer in a circle. He laughs but nods. “Fine, fine. Want another?”

“No, no, I’m good. You excited for this tour?” Ashton hadn’t talked it about in the same way he had the others. He adored what he was doing. He spoke passionately about the tour. But you were fuzzy on some details. Normally, he was brimming with every twist and turn the tour had. He’d trip over himself to tell you. You hate to think it was somehow a sign--that maybe Ashton’s retracting.

Ashton’s nod is fast and hard. You watch him, eyes dropping from you to the green glass bottle in his hands. “I’m very excited. But I don’t want to spoil it,” he offers. It’s soft and you think that the words are somehow going to crumble onto his lap.

“What do you mean spoil it?” you question. You don’t want to start pointing fingers and claiming that he’s not telling you things like before. You don’t want Ashton to go onto the defense.

“I-it’s so silly,” he laughs.

“No, I’m sure it’s not silly,” you offer.

“But it is. I just-I kind of want you just to see it without me telling you anything about it beforehand. I know I normally tell you everything but this time I just want this to be a surprise.”

“Want me to go in blind, Irwin? Trying to give me a heart attack? I’m supposed to have insider knowledge, you know?”

He smiles again. For that, you’re grateful. “No, you do. I’m sure you have more than enough insider knowledge. I just--” His words fall short. He loves telling you everything. God, Ashton loves sharing his world with you. It makes him smile to see you smile. He wants to be there, when he can be, for you. When he can’t be, he wants to know that he’s still one of the first people you call even through the distance. And he does know it. When you got offered a position with the management company, you called Ashton mere minutes after the email came through. When Ashton nailed a drumline, he’d ensure you got to hear the initial take or two.

But there’s something different about this--he wants to watch you when everything comes unraveled. It’s unlike anything else they’ve done. He wants the show to keep some of its magic. That and he wants to keep an excuse to see you again. You visit during the hometown shown normally and you still plan to this time. But he’s hoping to convince you to visit at least one other show too. Because no two shows are exactly alike.

“Are you sure you can only make it to the LA show?” Ashton questions, finally looking up at you.

You pause, nails picking at the label and the label scrunches just a little with your work. “I might be in Dallas too.”

“Really? You mean that, no bullshit?”

You shrug, your own lips failing to hold back your smile. Ashton catches on though and pushes up in his seat. His plate scratches over the top of the table as his forearms move it to the side. Your skin warms. It’s not embarrassment, it’s not even fear or shyness. You just feel alive in a way that only Ashton seems to make possible. You hold up your hands to slow his roll before it’s begun. “I’m supposed to be working the night before but I extended my stay by a couple days.”

“I’ll take it. I’ll take it easily.” Ashton reaches for your hands. Your palms are softer to the touch and it’s not lost on Ashton how the hairs on his arm stand up at your touch--electric in ways that he’s sure he can’t be alone in. When he looks up through his lashes, your gaze is dropped down to your intertwined fingers. Your fingers stroke gently over the top of his hands, over his knuckles.

“You’re such a sap,” you tease softly.

“I’ll have you know that I don’t care,” Ashton hums. His bones are melting at your touch.

“You all packed up yet?” Ashton’s not necessarily a last minute packer, but he does occasionally cut it down to the wire. More than one of your pre-tour dinners has ended with Ashton needing to pack up his suitcase. It almost feels like it wouldn’t be a tradition without that fact.

Ashton shakes his head, tracing the veins on the top of your hands now. It’s a dance, your hands trading who leads and who waits. “Stylist got the show outfits last week. Everything else is sitting around the suitcase waiting for your magic touch.”

“Oh, c’mon,” you laugh. “You taught me how to pack!”

“And I must say I may be one heck of a teacher, but I swear I almost miss something without you.” He pouts at you, lower lip rolling out.

You roll your eyes but tap at Ashton’s forearms. “You clean up the dishes and get me another beer and I’ll get started.” You’d cooked over at Ashton’s place. Your apartment doesn't have the appropriate kitchen space and you hate how cramped it can feel, so Ashton offered up his place.

Ashton squeezes at your forearms in response, “Thank you. Dishes will be squeaky clean.”

It’s all the two of you need before you push away from the table, plates and bottles in hand, and carry on back inside of the house. The floors are cool against your feet and the house echoes in a way that lets you know all is silent. Ashton most often keeps music playing, saying it makes the place feel lived in. You’re not sure how it can’t feel lived in. Ashton’s couch is covered in blankets, walls lined with plaques and photographs. The living room is a bit echoey as it opens up into the kitchen more directly, but there’s plenty of life, if anyone was to ask you.

You set your dishes on the counter next to the sink, listening to the click of the ceramic meeting the marble. “One of these days you’re going to have to pack yourself,” you tease.

Ashton closes the door to the fridge with his hip, holding two bottles in hand. “Don’t you dare say that. You’ll always be my pack checker.” He wants to say more, wants to say the reason you’ll always be there is because you’ll be with him. Forever might be a scary concept, but he wants to see what that could look like with you. Though if Ashton puts anything more than friends out there and you shoot him down, it’ll shatter him.

He’d recover, he knows. But it’s selfish. He’d rather not have to lose you or hurt himself like that.

“Hmm, my tax might get higher,” you tease, sliding the bottle opener off the counter.

“I’d pay it in a heartbeat,” Ashton huffs. And as the two of you get closer, you reaching for the bottle, Ashton wishes he’d just be more direct. He really ought too. He wants to tell you but also worries that it might break everything.

You work loose the top to both bottles. “That’s a lot of game, Irwin. Let’s see if you can back it up.”

“Promise, I can.”

Only a hum leaves your throat before your sip pauses you. “I’ll be upstairs packing your suitcase.”

“Thank you!” he calls out as you push towards the stairs.

“Yeah, yeah, just pay up, Irwin.”

Ashton watches your exit, the stairs taking you further and further from sight. It feels like it’s bubbling up his chest. All the words he’s held onto for years. But if he’s going to be honest, this might be the most selfish thing he’s going to embark on.

You sigh as you enter Ashton’s bedroom. His closet door is open, suitcase splayed on the floor. Inside of the case, you can see his toiletry bag, clothes stacked neatly inside and a couple pairs of shoes on the floor outside the cas. You assume this is all the stuff he’s taking with him on tour. It’s a scene you're familiar with, having grown fond of the ritual as well.

You can’t shake the soft echo of Ashton’s voice earlier, I’ll take it.

It’s eating away at your tongue. What will Ashton take? It certainly couldn’t be just one extra show you’d catch. It certainly wasn’t that. But there was something desperate and earnest in his voice. You think it might mean more. You want it to mean more. The crush on Ashton started slow, so slow you almost can’t pinpoint when it surfaced. But you know it had surfaced.

You longed for his touch and when he was around, you felt like everything made sense. Even if it didn’t actually make sense, there’s a sense of comfort in his presence that slows your racing mind. You don’t have butterflies, but it’s a warm feeling buzzing beneath your skin. A kind of calm that cuts through the noise.

Ashton could have his pick of whomever. It’s a fact made possible by his occupation and his good looks help too. Yet, you’ve noticed a decreasing lack of conversation surrounding relationships. You weren’t sure if he was looking less for them or if he was just keeping that information from you out of respect. You never hated that he talked about other women. You’d sort of grown accustomed to that topic, having talked Ashton off many ledges about love in the midst of drama, familial trauma with relationships, and his own stubbornness.

You’re not less of a suspect about the topic either. You stopped talking so much about your own love life with Ashton as well. Part of it due to its slow death. With work and your crush on Ashton you sort of resigned yourself to a state of limbo--temporarily at least. You know you can’t linger on this crush and unknown forever. But you hadn’t been so bold as to bring it up before.

Perhaps, it was time to breach that line again.

The clack of Ashton’s slippers on his floors lets you know he’s moving up the stairs and closer to the bedroom. You keep your focus on the tuck of his jeans into the bottom of the suitcase. Your heart races though, the closer and closer Ashton gets.

Would you really bring up this conversation now? Two days before tour? It was beyond shitty timing. Yet, opportunity feels like it’s slipping through your fingers if you don’t make a move now. Like if you don’t say something now you won’t say something ever. You’ll resign yourself to swallowing back down everything you’ve been brewing over in the ten minutes you’ve had apart from Ashton.

“What’s the diagnosis, doc?” Ashton teases, slipping out of his house shoes. His descent beside you on the floor is a little slow and he groans just a hair as he gets down.

“Bad knees,” you return with a laugh, taking a shirt from the pile to fold and roll.

“You’re a fucking comedian,” Ashton huffs. He takes another one of his shirts and is acutely aware that he should probably handle his undergarments to spare you.

It falls quiet around the two of you. You’re focused now on folding, rolling, tucking into luggage. You run your fingers over the items. “Got enough bottoms? I’m not sure how often you’ll be near a washer and dryer.”

“We find ways,” Ashton laughs. “Also I’m counting the pants I’m wearing on the first flight, so yeah, I’m good.”

“PJ’s?”

“A couple sets to swap out,” Ashton answers, lifting up to display some shorts and t-shirts beneath his normal attire.

“Space for souvenirs?”

Ashton laughs. “Take me for a rookie, baby?”

“I don’t know, maybe.” It falls quiet again. The scruff’s grown thicker and now might be enough to constitute a beard. “Going to let the beard grow out or shave it?”

Ashton shrugs. “I’ve got some shaving stuff packed just in case I choose otherwise. It’ll only need a couple days to grow back,” he laughs.

Now, as the two of you lock gazes, you see something swimming in Ashton’s eyes. His brows are pulled together. “Everything okay?” you ask. Though the two of you are separated by a suitcase, you still inch closer.

“Can-can I ask you something?”

You nod. “Anything.” And it’s so easy to say that. Because you mean it. Ashton can ask you anything and you’ll answer it. But you’re not even thinking what that might mean to someone else until Ashton’s stumbling over his own words. A man normally so confident, worrying his lips over and over with his teeth.

“I just--I know we’ve been friends for a while and with the tour coming up so soon, I’m not sure this is even fair to ask now.” Ashton pauses. He wants to take the knot of your brows as rejection but he watches for a moment longer and the pieces are clicking. Your eyes narrow, then widen like the bulb might’ve just gone off even before he’s gotten all the words out. “I don’t-I don’t want to ruin anything! I just need to ask.”

The possibility you hadn’t fully wanted to let yourself consider seems to be crash landing into your lip. If you’d conjured up this moment, you were afraid that you’d give it too much weight and care about it a bit too much. You worried that if you did open the door it would slam close, so you let yourself just think, but never dream.

“Ashton, I’m going to ask this because I just need it explicit. What are you asking?”

A beat. Then two.

Ashton moves the suitcase top up and over to shut the half packed suitcase close. He moves closer to you, taking your hands. “I want to ask if I should ask for a romantic relationship with you if the answer might be yes? I-I know we have a lot to work out and I’m gone for 4 months in two days. But, god, I had to ask. I have to ask.”

There’s a lot of unknowns. It’s jumping off the deep end. But the things you do know is that you and Ashton have had years. That surely had to count for something. “It-it could be.” The words make your own teeth chatter for a second. Your guts hurt at the thought that you might even be inching closer to something.

Ashton’s palm is large--it swallows your cheek as he brings your face up closer. Your foreheads brush and you can smell the garlic from your food and the subsequent mint you’re sure Ashton snuck on the way up here.

His smile radiates over his entire face. You can feel the heat of it ghosting over your face and you smile too. “It could be?”

“It could be. I like you. A lot. You make me feel safe. But you’re leaving so soon and I don’t know if right now I can say anything definitely.”

Ashton’s lips brush over the tip of your nose. “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t ask anything sooner. But please know I’m happy at the possibility. We’ll talk. I promise.”

As Ashton draws back, you surge forward, locking him in with a hand on the back of his neck. Ashton had asked but still you need the words. “Promise me we’ll talk at least weekly while you’re on tour? Promise me that there’s a possibility back?”

“I promise there’s a possibility. I mean, more than that too. But it’s--it’s not something you just waltz into. We’ll talk. Weekly at the absolutely least.”

Ashton swears his chest is going to burst when you kiss the tip of his nose. His fingers curl and he wants to do nothing more than to take your waist into his hands, kiss you until his lungs burn. But he won’t do that. The two of you had only promised an exploration, something to talk about more in depth, nothing full fledged. Ashton can’t lie that he doesn’t take that promise to bed like treasure. He can’t lie that he doesn’t lets it bury into his chest. He can’t lie that his dreams don’t water that hope.

He can’t lie that when he wakes to a text from you, Take care of yourself today, with a red heart instead of the pink ones that something ike joy, or maybe just a stronger hope, blossoms.

Your phone shakes and you pull the glasses off your face with a huff. You’d been buried into your laptop trying to read over the headlines about your client and you already know it’s going to be a mess, yet this is all you have just a mess.

Ashton’s name greets you on the screen and your bubble of frustration shrinks. “Long time, no see, stranger,” you tease, taking in the shaky and choppy picture of Ashton.

“Hey, stranger,” he teases. You can tell by the way his hair sticks to his forehead he’s recently either gotten down with a show. “What’s it like on the west coast?” he asks.

“Sunny and on the verge of collapse.”

“Verge of collapse? Your client?” Ashton questions.

“Isn’t it always? I’ll figure it out, I know. Just buried right now in tabloid bullshit. How was the show over there? How’s the east coast?”

“It’s a little cloudy. Heard some stuff about potential hurricanes. I’ll be glad to be further west next week.”

You nod, scotting down a little in your chair. “This time of year is hurricane season. Must be an active year though if you’re catching wind of it.”

“Our tour manager said the same thing. We’ll be getting out just in the knick of time. Just worried about the folks who live out here. Hurricanes don’t sound fun.”

You shake your head. “Mother Nature is always to be feared--fires to hurricanes.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

“How are the shows though?” you ask, knowing that you may not get all the time you want with Ashton on the phone so you try to get the best of it you can.

“They’re fucking phenomenal. Amazing. Not quite the same as when you’re around, but they’re going really well.”

“And you’re taking care of yourself? If I ever get another text from you about being in a fucking hospital, I swear to God.”

Ashton laughs, a kind of laugh that you know is a bit uncomfortable, but he’s hearing you. “No, no, you won’t. Promise.”

“Good, I do not need a repeat.”

“No repeats. But question, is one of your dream dates still to get dressed up to go visit a museum?”

You give a pause, trying to assess with the somewhat clear picture of Ashton on your phone. You know you’d briefly mentioned it once, maybe twice. But you didn’t think it was enough for Ashton to still carry around the knowledge. You nod though at the question. “It is.”

“Why’d you say it like that? Are you getting suspicious of me?” Ashton teases.

“Maybe just a little. Can I ask why you’re asking?”

“If you must know,” Ashton starts, accent morphing into an almost decent English accent, “I am attempting to court you. Dates are a part of such activities.”

Your laughter falls easily, cheeks heating at the thought. “You do not have to say it like that,” you huff with a smile. “Is your dream date still a picnic and painting?”

“And if it is?” Ashton questions, a bit of a tease lilting his voice.

“Then I’m buying paints, good sir. As simple as that.”

“I can’t argue with that. Okay, two good things about your day? Yeah?” It’s a thing--whenever you talk to Ashton now you two share two good things about your day. It’s a nice way to break up the conversation, spin the frustration of the day into something positive. You recline into the cushion of your couch contemplating your day. After you share the good things you ask Ashton about his. Of course he mentions the show.

Conversation winds through dreams--literal and things about that you want out of life. It’s nice to just let the conversation go where it wants. Ashton mentions being inspired on tour for new scents for his candle company and you let that take you to conversations about the smells of your childhood home. Ashton teases that he’ll have to make that another scent. When you ask about the smells of Ashton’s childhood, you notice he gets a little quiet. It’s a slow answer and when it comes, you listen to all the weight he gives the words.

“Mum--she did the best she could you know. I think if I had to describe the smell of my childhood home it’d be a bit of vanilla, grass because god the house was always brimming with our ruckus.”

“Grass after it rains is a nice smell,” you offer after Ashton’s bout of silence. “We don’t have to push it. I appreciate you sharing what you did.”

“No, no, I don’t mind. Just hard sometimes.”

“I get it. It can be hard sometimes. But I appreciate you listening. It means a lot, you know? That you’re willing to let me work through it at my own pace.”

“Life’s hard enough,” you concede. “No need for me to make it harder.”

“But we have Dallas to look forward too.”

You nod. “Yes, we do have Dallas. I’m excited.”

“Good, me too.” Voices echo from further down and Ashton bids his goodbyes, sad and quiet but you ensure to send a message as follow up, I’m here, when you need to call or text or vent. Got plenty of space. You attach a picture of your bed you splayed across the queen sized mattress.

Ashton’s response comes about twenty minutes later, God, that looks comfy as hell. Thank you. A red heart is attached too.

Ashton’s not one to freak--he’s done plenty of it on his own and knows it’ll get him nowhere. But the night before the Dallas show, his phone shakes. Your name lights up across the screen. He thinks it’s just about tomorrow. Maybe an inner monologue about you trying to decide what to wear. But when the message starts with, I’m so sorry, Ashton knows it’s bad.

He doesn't even read the full thing, pushes back from the bar counter and presses to call your number. It rings, and rings, and rings in his ear. “Please pick up,” he mutters to himself.

“Hi, I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Please leave a message with your name and number and I’ll be sure to return your call,” your voicemail greets Ashton.

He listens for the beep before speaking, “Hey, it’s me, Ashton. I-I admittedly only read like two percent of your text, but I wanted to call, to see if everything is okay. Please give me a call back when you can. Please. I’m worried.”

There’s so much more to say but Ashton can’t get his tongue to cooperate so he leaves it at that and hangs up. Pushing the hair off his forehead with one hand, Ashton swipes back to your text. I’m so sorry about this. Currently at the ER and will probably be on crutches tomorrow thanks to an ill placed step on some gravel. I’ll be sure to update you and call as soon as I know for certain.

You’re hurt, but not terribly so and that’s a win. It’s not enough to quiet the thunder of Ashton’s heart. What had you done? Where had you been? He can only think to type out, Which hospital are you at? Are you going to be okay?

“Hey, Ash, everything alright?” Calum asks. His voice is soft as his question falls. Ashton’s not sure how he even catches Calum speaking if he’s honest, even as he gives a head shake no to the question. “What happened?”

“Just-I need them to text me back. Figure out how far the hospital is from here. I can think then.”

“Yeah, of course. But it sounds bad? Who’s hurt? When you get the name, I’ll see how quick we can get an Uber.”

Panic does no one any good, but Ashton’s not going to talk himself off the ledge of panic when it comes to you. He waits and waits and Calum waits with him, finally getting the pieces of your text in relation to a potential fall. The two men hover in the lobby of the hotel, drinks long forgotten by now. Though Ashton felt the waning of adrenaline leaving his body from the show just a couple hours before, he feels wired. He watches and watches his screen for it to only come alive by the shake of his hands.

I’m sure you just got done with the houston show and would probably prefer some rest. It’s a pretty bad sprain, I’ll be okay, reads the text after a long 45 minutes.

His fingers shake and he nearly can’t get a steady enough press to dial your number. The phone rings--once, then twice. Your voice is the sweetest sound he could ever hear as it floats in through the receiver, “Hi, Ashton. I’m sorry to give you such a scare, I know.”

“You’re okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Nasty fall. Really bad sprain. It’ll be annoying for the next couple of days. But I’m not dead.”

“Which hospital are you at?”

“Uh, Baylor something or another. I’m getting discharged now actually. I thought I’d be able to call after the initial run of test but they diagnosed it fast. And a lot sort of happened before I could get my hands on the phone again.”

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re okay. Do you have someone that can get you back to your hotel safely?” He needs that answer to be yes. He’s not sure where you are though and that’s the thing that’s killing him. Ashton does have the name of the hotel you’re staying at, as you shared your itinerary with him earlier in the week to see if you’d be at the same hotel. Your hotel is about 10 minutes or so from his. Happenstance you both knew but right now it feels like a godsend.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got someone that can drive me.”

“I’m going to meet you there okay?” You start to protest but Ashton’s quicker. “I know you probably don’t need me. But please, just let me get eyes on you so I know you’re not going to keel over, okay?”

You sigh. “Fine, Irwin. But you better be there before me.”

A smile lifts his cheeks. “I will be. Promise.”

“Are they at Baylor University still? I got the address,” Calum offers when Ashton hangs up. “And yes, yes I was eavesdropping,” he laughs at the pull of Ashton’s brow.

Though Ashton won’t admit this, he’s glad for Calum’s care. “Nah, no, they’re about to head back to their hotel. Getting discharged now. I’m-I’m going to go there and I’ll meet up with you guys for the truck in the afternoon before it leaves for the venue.”

“Sounds good. Keep us updated though? Should anything else happen?”

“Of course, man. Of course.”

Ashton’s quick back to his room to grab his bags. They’re not many, thankfully. All the while he tracks his drivers approach on his phone as he waits at the elevator door. It’s a slow descent, or at least it feels that way but the doors open and Ashton’s back into the lobby. Just as his feet hit the concrete of the sidewalk a car eases to a stop.

“Picking up for Ashton?” the driver asks through the passenger side window.

It’s a quick ride and Ashton thanks the driver before climbing back out into the thick humid Texas air. It’s heavy on his skin but all Ashton continues to think about is getting into that lobby before you. The glass doors are heavy but they reveal a mostly quiet lobby. No one at the front desk and he settles off to the side. Ashton halfway considers calling you to see how far you are, but before the thought can blossom anymore than a hair, the doors open again.

Someone holds open the door and there’s a click and clack that’s distinctly hollow. “Thanks,” you state, working the crutches up and forward.

Not what Ashton expected but you’re whole--together, in front of him. A wrap on your left ankle. “You’re late,” Ashton huffs, a faux annoyance. But it’s all you need to grin. The ache in his ribs eases.

“I’m moving a little slower than normal.” The two of you meet in the middle, or maybe less than that as Ashton does cover more ground than you. But it’s not like you care. Though you are mindful that you are still sort of on the clock. And Ashton catches on too, when you don’t lean in for a hug or more.

“Do-do you have any bags you need me to carry?” he asks.

“Personal effects,” you tease, throwing a look over to Savannah who’s got your shoe in a plastic bag from the hospital. You take the moment though to introduce the small group you’re with--mostly other staff on the team. “Everyone, Ashton,” you conclude with a nod of your head. It’s a quick conversation to ensure you’re all okay and set to go. Once you confirm that you’re good and that Ashton won’t let you do anything to further hurt yourself, the group slowly thins.

You and Ashton remain as the others move towards either the hotel bar or the elevators. You wait, trying to ensure that the group is gone before you sigh, shoulders rounding with the action. “I hope your heart will be able to withstand the show tomorrow,” you tease.

“Oh, quit it. I’m not that old.”

“I don’t know you told you were old anyway.”

“Oh, society says it everyday. Aren’t you listening?:

“Absolutely the fuck not,” you laugh.

Ashton’s glad to hear the sound. “Yeah, I thought you might say that, let’s get you to your room yeah.”

It’s a hobble, still unsteady on the crutches a little but thankfully once you’re inside the elevator, you know it’s a quick walk to your room. Ashton retrieves the keycard from your wallet for you and holds the door open. The room is cool--like all hotel rooms seem to be as they surely must double for freezers with the temperatures they are set at. But it’s clear that maybe you hadn’t been planning to be out--your laptop’s still on the bed. Your bag rest on the lounge chair open, clothes peeking out from the depths of it.

Ashton drops his bag next to yours.

“So what happened?” he asks.

“We got back around 8 or so, a much too early night if I’m honest. So, I did a little work to pass the time. Then around 9 Devin, the stylist, asks if I want to go out and grab a couple drinks. I say yes, we’re sort of bar hopping to find the right vibe. I had like two drinks max at the bars we’d found. But on the way to another bar, coming down off the sidewalk, I just misjudged the distance or something. All I know is that I was up one minute then I was down.”

Ashton’s gentle as he kneels, taking a quiet moment to inspect your foot. “You ought to be elevating it,” he offers.

“I sort of want to change, but I need to shower too. And that’s just awkward all the way around,” you laugh. “Haven’t even taken me on a date yet and I’m already on the verge of having to ask you to help me undress because of my stupid ankle.”

“They don’t mean that,” Ashton directs to your injured joint. “And I am working on that date, you just need to give me a few months.” Though Ashton hopes he can do it sooner. Though with this injury he’s not sure if his plans of stealing you away one day during the break will pan out still.

You know you should be responding. Ashton’s gazing up at you from practically between your legs as if waiting for an instruction, but you’re too caught up in the way his face holds his beard, honey eyes dripping still as they look at you. “You’re handsome, anyone ever tell you that?”

“Some might say you just did.”

“Well, you are,” you return more confident. “You’re very handsome.” Maybe it’s just easier now. You can freely admit to such attraction because you know the possibility exist that you and Ashton have more. You know the tour is just a temporary thing, but it gives you two something to work from. Rather than just the comfort of ease and accessibility, you and Ashton have to make conscious efforts to communicate while he’s away. The discomfort makes you work. It reminds you that nothing worth having has always been easy.

Your fingers trace the line of Ashton’s jaw, from the bottom of his ear to his chin. Feels like his body is melting but he remains frozen, kneeling on the thin carpeted floor of this hotel room. It’s a sort of limbo that if Ashton were to ever work through a metaphor, he might call it the seconds in a summer blaze with ice cream. You know the ice cream won’t stay solid forever, but in the first few moments, everything is as it always will be. The ice cream will still have a shape and the sun will still have a ray, but those paths had not crossed just yet--not long enough to have an effect. Yet, Ashton knows that while he holds still now, while he waits to see if you say or do something more, he is the sun ray. He will cause an effect.

“You, however, sweetheart, are so incredibly dangerous,” Ashton whispers.

“I haven’t done anything.”

“Besides absolutely wiping out and being a danger to your literal self, I do have to say that you are dangerous because if you keep scratching at my beard like this you are going to open a whole new can of worms that we will not be able to get back inside.”

You know it’s a warning. You don’t think you want to heed it though. “Just a kiss?” you ask.

Will it ever be just a kiss, Ashton does not know. “You speak of me undressing you to shower and change and rest your ankle that is still injured by the way, and ask for just a kiss?”

You nod. “Yeah, just a kiss.”

Ashton pushes up, hand capturing your cheek as his lips capture yours. Your lips taste a bit sour, maybe the drink or two you’d mentioned before. But Ashton thinks he could swallow the taste and tattoo it into his lungs. He would tattoo it into his lungs if such a thing were possible.

You swear you’ve never been held in such a more confident and gentle way as Ashton pulls up closer into your body. His hands find your waist, a grip that pushes into the flesh of you that makes you whimper. It’s a pathetic sound and you can’t help but laugh at yourself, interrupting the kiss. Your kiss ends with an echoing pant between the two of you, nose to nose as you hold his face between your palms.

“You can make fun of me for that later, understand?” you huff.

Ashton’s laughter falls out more like a groan when you brush your hands down his chest. “I don’t really think I have ground to talk, so.” Ashton presses another kiss, lighter, but still long against your lips. “I just--I’m a little ill prepared to go any further tonight.”

“Are you, Ashton Irwin, rockstar and drummer for the hottest band, 5 Seconds of Summer, telling me that you do not have condoms?” you snort.

“It may be that. In all fairness, the spare I had I had to end up passing along to a couple of the other guys so, it’s not that I didn’t have them.”

“You just don’t have anymore,” you conclude for him.

“Exactly.”

“No worries. My spare expired, so same boat. Besides, I did ask only for a kiss.”

“That you surely did. And I think this is our last stop on this train lest we decide to risk it tonight.”

You giggle, fingers playing just a little at the hair at the nape of Ashton’s neck. “I think this is my stop anyway.”

“Can I ask for one more kiss though?” Ashton’s grin is small and sheepish, like he knows he’s asking for something he shouldn’t. But you can’t say no as you capture his lips one last time. It’s softer now, rather than holding for fear of life lost, now you know you can taste and taste without worrying about losing your chance.

Though it should be awkward to get yourself changed and cleaned up, you find that it’s easy. Undoubtedly, it’s intimate to have Ashton help you get your pants on and off, but it’s easy to laugh and converse around your work. By the time you’re both settled in for the night, your leg slightly elevated thanks to some of the spare pillows, the blue hue of the TV screen is just an accent to you and Ashton’s laughter,

“You had to have a crush on at least one cartoon character,” you huff.

“No, I’m normal.”

“Ashton, you are anything but normal. So just fess up. Was it Lola Bunny?”

Ashton laughs. “No, it was not Lola Bunny. Who even is that?”

You ignore Ashton’s question and pry for an answer listing Roxanne from A Goofy Movie as another potential. It gets shot down immediately. “C’mon, Irwin! Just give me an answer.”

Your response is only Ashton pressing a kiss to your cheek with an adamant but giggled filled, “Goodnight.”

It’s not what you imagined how the first time you shared a bed Ashton would go, but you can’t think to change anything about it now. It’d always be a story to tell, one to hold close to your heart in the future. You reach over, finding Ashton’s hand easily under the cover. His response is immediate as he threads his fingers through yours.

The TV remains on, a quiet hum and over the soft music of some commercial you’re sure you catch the rumble of a snore. “Thanks, for being here,” you offer. Even if Ashton is still asleep you need to say it.

“You’re more than welcome.”

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin blurb #ashton irwin imagine #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos blurb #5 seconds of summer blurb #5 seconds of summer imagine #calum hood #michael clifford #luke hemmings

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getsojaded · 2 years

Text

pre-show playlist || calum hood

word count: 1.9k+

warnings: swearing

a/n: draft while i write mini series :) not entirely sure why atlanta is the first city that came into my head but it was so if ur from atlanta this one’s for u LOL. also, was actually lol’ing at the fake stan twt tweets i had to make LOLOL

—

“Thank you, Atlanta! I love you!” Are the last words you yell into the mic, heading off the stage before the lights go out.

It had been your first show of your world tour after Covid had put the world at a temporary pause, and needless to say, your adrenaline levels were going through the roof. If there’s one thing you loved most, it was performing for the people that love and appreciate you for what you do.

“You fucking killed it! Congrats Y/N,” one of your team members exclaimed, rushing to give you a hug. “Thank you,” you sighed, leaning into their hug. You missed this, you missed travelling the country by tour bus, soundchecking old songs that made your fans go crazy and answering their question, and you missed having your favourite people standing by your side as you did what you valued and appreciated so deeply.

Things were slightly different though, and you couldn’t help but take notice of them.

Calum was by your side your last tour, engulfing you in a big hug and kissing your forehead the minute you got off stage. He was there to help you choose your outfits for each show, to take you to the best restaurants and coffee shops in each city for the minimal hours you spent there, and to give you those loving and reassuring words whenever you got those last-minute butterflies before performing.

You loved Calum, and Calum loved you — there was no doubt about that. But as much as you loved the tour life, it wasn’t easy. Not only was that complicated, being in the spotlight, along with your love, was one of the hardest things you had ever had to do through.

With fake news articles that drew too much attention towards you two, to scheduling conflicts that led to unsolved arguments, to the fans.. that were just being fans (you know.) — it got too much to handle. For the both of you.

So when you started using Google Maps to find five star cafés, taking a bit too much time to decide what outfit to wear, and breathing in and out for longer periods of time before you hopped on stage, you realized that you’d need some time to adjust to the new aspects of touring. And quite frankly, you hated it. You missed it. You missed him.

You missed the way he’d hold you at night in your shared bunk, telling you “Sleep well, you did an amazing job”. You missed the way he’d drag you out of bed to take a daily mirror selfie in the bus, determined to have a photo from each city you visited, and you missed the way he’d-

“Okay, that’s enough,” you whispered to yourself, shaking out of your thoughts and getting up from the couch you were sitting at, taking a moment to regain your energy.

You walked up to the full body mirror in your dressing room, snapping a quick photo before posting it to your Twitter account.

y/ny/l/n: atlanta i fucking loved u, thank u. excited to see the rest of u on tour. x

Within seconds you were getting likes, retweets and replies on your tweet. You took a quick moment to change into comfy clothes and exit the venue, as it was now time to relax on the tour bus.

You opened up your phone onto the Twitter replies to scroll through the replies, and like and respond to a few.

killedmytime: THIS FIT IS SO FIRE

calumsboba: you did amazing y/n!!

yungy/n: bro i lost my phone at the concert i’m tweeting off my laptop rn

You giggled at the last one, responding with “drop ur venmo i got the next one” before continuing to scroll through your mentions and notifications.

disconnectedvol6: @Y/NY/L/N DID YOU PURPOSELY PUT MOVING ALONG ON THE PRE SHOW PLAYLIST

whywontuluvme: @/disconnectedvol6 BRO I WAS THERE EARLIER AND EVERYBODY IN PIT WAS FUCKING LOSING IT WHEN IT PLAYED

wfttwtafff: i’m going to cry @y/ny/l/n is still so supportive of calum even after they broke up

outofurlimit: i’m fucking SCREAMING SHE HAD THE AUDACITY. MOVING ALONG TOO?

heartbakegirl: i cant believe u put moving along on the playlist omfg divorced parents <;/3

Oh God.

Okay, maybe it was just your fans in your responses that took notice of your ex boyfriend’s band’s song. You quickly searched up “y/n calum” and immediately groaned at the loads of tweets regarding your show, that song and that playlist.

notinthesameways: i almost fucking peed myself when i heard moving along i wonder if calum knows y/n put it on her playlist

y/nswildflower: i miss calum and y/n omg

dontstoppa: bro let’s talk abt the fact that out of every song y/n chose the one that’s literally about a breakup AND calum wrote it girlie knew what she was doing

Contrary to that last tweet, you actually had no idea what you were doing!

You didn’t mean for 5SOS’ song to play before your show started. In fact, you hadn’t even made a specific pre-show playlist — you just decided to use your “currently”. Which… has Moving Along on it and with your luck, of course it came on shuffle.

Yes, you listened to their new album. Yes, you thought it was fucking spectacular. Yes, Moving Along was your favourite song off the album because not only does Calum’s verse get your heart throbbing but it also makes you wonder if you popped up into his mind while he was writing it.

And yes, you added it to your on repeat playlist because you couldn’t stop listening to it.

You couldn’t help but wonder if he had done the same thing with your album: thoroughly listen to it, fall in love with it more and more everytime, and add his favourites into his liked songs.

You also couldn’t help but wonder what he’s up to right now. Was he preparing for touring, just like you? You hadn’t seen any posts in regards to shows from their band account, along with the four boys’.

And now you were wondering why the hell he was giving you a call, your heart skipping a beat once you saw the contact name Hood xo appear on your screen, along with his contact picture of you, him, and Duke.

“What the fuck,” you whispered, letting it ring a couple more times before you picked up the phone. “Uh, hi.”

“Hi, Y/N. Good to talk to you again.”

“You too.”

You were scared. You were scared and you’ve never been put in the position of not knowing what to say to him, except now. As much as you tried to say more in response to him, no words would come out.

“You know why I’m calling you.” He simply stated, sounding a lot more confident than you had expected, which took you by surprise.

“Caught me lacking, huh?” You asked, earning a soft giggle from Calum in response. “Okay look, I didn’t even mean to play it before my show. I gave your album a listen when it first dropped and I was like wow this shit is good so I added one of my favourites onto my playlist and I used that specific playlist so I didn’t even think about it and-“

“I’m really glad you listened to the album.” He simply states, your heart skipping a beat as you bring your hand up to cover your mouth. “And I’m glad you found a few favourites on there.”

“Yeah, you guys did so well on it.” You’re nervous. You’re fucking nervous, and you have no idea how Calum is handling this conversation as well as he is. Despite the pit in your stomach, your curiosity got the best of you. “D-Did you listen to mine too?”

“‘Course I did. Fell in love with it, baby.” Your heart flutters at the sound of the pet name that falls out of his mouth, feeling the nostalgia and intimacy his voice is laced with. “Thank you,” you respond just above a whisper, before the line fills with silence. Slightly awkward silence.

Calum doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up. Especially after such a wholehearted, sweet conversation. But he has some questions, and doesn’t want to end this call with unfinished answers.

“I miss you. I miss us.” He confesses, tears threatening to spill from his eyes and he silently thanks himself for only clicking on an audio call, and not a FaceTime one.

“I know.” You respond as quiet as possible, not risking to hear crack in your voice. “I do too. It’s not the same without you here. Tour’s different. I caught myself thinking about you every time I noticed something was off.” You say to him honestly, unaware of the aching in his chest that you caused. He hated the thought of your emotions shifting negatively because of him, and if he could, he would do everything in his power to reverse it if it meant you were happy.

“What happened to us?”

“Cal…” You sigh. You felt this question coming, but you weren’t prepared to answer it. “You know what happened to us. It was just... circumstances, and time.” Was all you could say, with complete honestly.

“Well, what about now? What do the circumstances and time have for us now?” He asks you in a low voice. You shake your head and laugh at the irony of that follow up question, rubbing your forehead with your hand.

“Well, I’m still on tour, so it looks like not much has changed.” You respond, earning a chuckle from Calum. “Shouldn’t you be heading off on tour too?”

“Taking a break first. Don’t really know why, Ashton suggested that we break first before touring and we all just kinda went with it.” He responds. “When’s your LA show?”

“Last show of the tour. Then it’s me time. Staying in LA for quite some time, then gonna try and go back to hometown for a bit.”

“What would you do if I asked you if you were okay with me going there?” He asks, with the slightest bit of hope. It’s worth a shot, he tells himself. It’s worth a shot if it has anything to do with you.

“Then, I’d tell you that I’d love to have you at my last show. Do you want to be there?” You tell him, with a smile planted across your face, unaware of the smirk forming across his as well. “Nothing else I want more than to be there, love.”

“I guess I’ll be seeing you then?” You ask, trying to sound as confident as possible, but you’re well aware that Calum can see (more like, hear) right through your façade. “Let’s see where the circumstances and time take us this time around.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” “Me too.”

The line falls silent once again, but now it’s comfortable. A silence that warms your heart and calms you down. A silence that eases your mind and relaxes your body.

“Oh, and Cal?” You speak up.

“Yes?”

“Let’s not let the circumstances and time fuck us over again. I’d rather not let go of the best thing that’s ever happened to me a second time around.”

“You are the last thing I’m ever gonna lose again, baby. Mark my words.”

677 notes · View notes

suchalonelysunflower · 1 year

Text

Had My Chances (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood x Fem! Reader

Requested? Yes, by the lovely @getsojaded

Summary: Based on the One Direction song "loved you first" Calum can't help but feel jealous to see you with another man.

Warnings: Angst! Language, mentions of alcohol, smoking. Some grammatical mistakes (English is not my first language, I'm sorry)

Word count: 4.6K

Author's note: I've finally wrote an angst that broke my heart again, and I'm so happy with it. Remember that REBLOGS are very IMPORTANT AND MEAN A LOT as well as COMMENTS AND INTERACTIONS. PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR WRITERS. Hope you like it and happy reading

My masterlist // taglist on bio!

Calum was choking the hell out of his beer can, leaving the imprints of his fingers as evidence for the poor soul that had to clean this mess up later.

It was an unconscious type of thing - he’s been doing a lot of unconscious things lately, none of them his fault, he would argue - but the intent behind it is nothing innocent.

There was a time when he used to be the life of the party. Or at least a bit more vivid than just standing in a far-off corner glaring at someone who barely paid attention to him. He didn’t mean to glare or to even look in their direction, but it was impossible to take his eyes off them. It was almost as if he wanted to hurt so badly he’d find a way out of heartache. Battle fire with fire and those sorts of things.

“Okay, who are we hatin’?”

He didn’t even need to look to his right to know that Ashton was standing there even before he spoke. His friend - the ever more intuitive when it came to talking about heartbreak or breaking hearts - should already know the answer to his question, and Calum knows he knows. Ashton just wants him to admit it.

Still, Ashton followed his gaze till it landed on the target.

“Cal,” He sighed “You can’t keep doing this to yourself. Nor her, for that matter”

“I’m not doing anything” Calum mumbled into his drink.

“You’re overthinking”

“And you should mind your own business” He spat, leaving the poor, abused can on the shelf behind him.

Calum walked outside, trying to get some air before his hands started roaming through his pockets looking for his pack of cigarettes. He tried to quit it, and many times he tried in vain. There was always something that pulled him into the vice again. Tonight was the selfish need of having the power to hurt himself without people noticing. Something he could regret tomorrow. Something that didn’t involve making the mistake of spilling and saying what he should’ve said years ago.

The lighter provided the only gleam of the outsides that night. As Calum inhaled the toxins of his favorite weapon, he closed his eyes and hoped to wake up and let all of this be a dream. But that wish went away with the smoke he pulled out of his lungs, watching it disappear into the night till it merged with the stars above.

He was not a man used to not getting what he wanted. So is this a gut punch to his ego? Yes, of course. But had he not been in love for some time he’d believe that it’ll come to pass, ignoring the heart-wrenching reality of him not being able to lightly caress your hair with the tip of his fingers; or not care about how his body moved him toward your space every time you were around; or claim that the times you were both in a group laughing, he would stare at you, drinking on your reaction and getting drunk of your laugh, while you stared at someone else.

It was just usual for him not getting what he wanted. But this was beyond any desire of his. This, for a lack of better words, was beyond his reach. And he hated it. He hated every moment of it since the first time he realized it, hoping it’ll go away.

But what could he expect from falling for his best friend?

Calum always believed in past lives and how you’re meant to reconnect with people that have meant something important to you. Whether it was in the form of a mother, a father, a pet, a friend, a teacher, a lover… Soulmates will find their way.

He also believed that his brothers were his soulmates. He knows deep in his heart that Luke, Michael, Ashton, and himself were meant to meet in every life, making music and sharing their message across the world for other people to hear. He also believed that his dog, Duke, might’ve come to him as a guide. An old teacher who bound his life to appear in the moments he needed most. He believes that his family would always be his family, maybe in different ways, but they’ll always come together one way or another.

Now, there is one thing Calum isn’t sure of, and that is you.

What were you to him before? Why are you here with him? And why does he feel compelled to be your everything?

When you met years ago, Calum didn’t think much of that first encounter. You were just a friend of a friend, a normal acquaintance. But then you kept meeting each other, whether at a party or a concert. And every time you grew closer. Whether it was the jokes you shared, the similar tastes in music and movies, the way you made each other laugh, or the secret codes you accidentally created. He was just eighteen back then, but he knew it had to mean something.

He just couldn’t figure out what role you played in his life. Not yet, at least.

“I don’t think that because you had a bad experience with milk you become lactose intolerant,” You said casually as you applied your mascara in the mirror.

It was not unusual for Calum to find himself pressing the facetime button to call you every day now, especially given that he was on the other side of the country touring with his band. The calls would mostly consist of him telling you about his day and you doing the same as the two of you would go on with your lives as if you were in the same room together even though you’re miles apart.

The two of you would indulge in conversations that could be as deep as a puddle of water - as the one you’re having now - or as deep as the sea. Never once feeling uncomfortable or falling silent. And even in the quiet types of calls, when you only need to feel each other’s presence after a long day, you would embrace the silence as a comfort rather than an inconvenience.

And Calum loved that. He loved these little moments with you. It didn’t matter if they lasted two minutes or three hours. He just knew that talking to you was one of the top best moments of his day.

He just didn’t understand why yet

“I could be, though” He pouted, watching as you applied blush to your cheeks “And the next time you take me for ice cream I might die and it’ll be your fault for playing it down”

You chuckled “I don’t think that’s how it works, babe”

And there it was, that little, weird feeling that made him all warm and fuzzy inside, triggered by a nickname. Calum quickly swallowed it down, just marking it up as the victory that was to make you laugh.

Still, he changed the subject.

“Why are you getting all dolled up?” He asked. Ignoring the way Luke looked at him for a second before going back to playing subway surfers on his phone.

“I’m going out”

“Where?”

“Dinner I guess, probably dancing afterward” You shrugged, trying to decide on which lipstick would suit best with your outfit.

“Girls' night?”

“No, it’s more like a date, I think. Well, he didn’t actually say “date - date” but I mean, he did everything you do when you ask someone for a date and-” You looked at your phone screen “Are you okay?”

Only then did Calum realize he clenched his jaw. He blinked at you and disguised it with a fake yawn.

“I didn’t know you had a date,” He said, trying to sound uninterested, but Luke’s eyes on him told him he was a bullshit actor.

You didn’t seem to catch it, though.

“I told you I was going out with Jessie”

“I thought you meant Jessica”

“Does it matter?” You asked, cornering him to a wall - metaphorically.

Calum sighed “Nope, just be safe and have fun, alright?”

You rolled your eyes and sarcastically said “Yes, dad” as you applied some gloss. Just in time for the doorbell to ring “Oops, that’s him. Wish me luck!”

And it might’ve been your smile and the way your eyes lit up when the doorbell rang knowing it was Jessie on the other side, or it might’ve been the spoiled milk he had in his coffee earlier. But there was an uneasy, foreign feeling in Calum’s chest as you said goodbye. Almost as if he didn’t want you to go at all.

But that was crazy. It’s probably nothing. So he smiled tightly and said “Bye, Y/N/N” and watched as you faded away before the facetime call ended.

Calum closed his eyes for a moment, frowning upon discovering this sunken feeling in his chest.

However, it didn’t last much as Luke was suddenly blasting “Jessie’s girl” through the hotel room’s speakers. Calum - rightfully so - smacked him with a pillow.

“Shut up” He groaned.

“I didn’t say anything!” Luke laughed

“You were going to!”

“How the fuck should you know?!”

A string of grumbled curses left Calum’s lips as he got up from the bed and went through his suitcase.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going out with Ash, wanna come?” He said, putting on a clean shirt.

“I didn’t know you were going out” Luke commented as he got up and went to find a shirt as well.

“We are now, c’mon”

To say the other two were surprised by Calum’s sudden need to go partying was an understatement given that Michael already was in his pajamas when the bassist went and knocked on their door, but neither of them was opposed to the idea. Soon, the whole band was dancing and drinking out at a club neither of them knew about one hour ago.

And if Calum was seen dancing and making out with a girl that looked like you, it was no one’s business but his own. And when he woke up next to a said girl a few hours later, no one needed to know.

The night was turning warmer, though that could be because of the alcohol and the three cigarettes he had since he came outside. The party was still in full swing but he wanted no part of that. Not when you were there with… him.

It’s stupid and he knows it. To have this unsolved grudge against you and every person you date.

You don’t owe him anything, no explanation or justification for any relationship you had or the one you were currently in. But he can’t help it. It’s just that every time he sees you wrapped around your partner’s arms he just wants to rip them off you and shield you from anyone’s eyes. From the moment he first noticed his feelings toward you it was clear that he couldn’t act on them to not ruin the relationship you two have.

He hates them. Every single one of them, every bloke that broke your heart or made you cry. He hates the ones you fell in love with, the ones that loved you back. The one that’s sitting on the couch next to you with his arms around your shoulder and the one that makes you laugh. He hates him the most and he’s not above showing it.

It’s not healthy but he doesn’t know how to stop.

“Why are you so protective of me?” You asked him once and he didn’t know how to tell you, so he made his heart quiet as his mind gave him a logical reason.

There were so many times when he could’ve fessed up and just tell you as it is. To make him the one that you would share your nights with instead of useless men who are not worthy of you.

Was he worthy of you?

Time for another cigarette.

Calum opened the door to find you there with a friendly smile; a pint of ice cream; a skin-care kit; and a bottle of wine. He couldn’t help but laugh as he stepped back so you could enter his house.

“I told you I’m fine,” He said, shaking his head as you made yourself comfortable on his couch, settling all the post-break-up necessities on the table.

“And I believe you,” You shrugged. “But I also know you, Cal. And you say you’re okay now but in a week it’ll all crash down as it always does because you bottle up your feelings. So let’s get them out of the way while we avoid the wreckage”

“I thought you didn’t even like her,” He said, sitting down next to you.

“I never said that!”

Calum gave you a look.

“I just didn’t think you were a good fit… that’s all” You confessed sheepishly.

Calum sighed “Well, you were right”

“I didn’t want to be” You scooted closer to him “I’m sorry, Cal. You truly seemed happy with her. And I liked seeing you happy”

He nodded but didn’t say anything. The break-up happened just a couple of days ago, and you were right when it came to talking about feelings now rather than later. But it was all so very new to him.

“I just- I never had a relationship like this before” He confessed.

“You really liked her, didn’t you?”

And yes, he did. For the first time in years, Calum could actually focus on a relationship. He had met his ex at a party, they talked all night and then he went home with her number saved on his phone. What followed were almost two years of amazing moments and memories filled with love but… something wasn’t right.

It wasn’t something any of them did, it just sort of happened. Blame the routine and the lack of effort from both parties, but they didn’t feel as if the relationship should continue. Yes, he would always feel something for her and would treasure those memories with care. Yet, he can’t say he’s sad and broken.

All his past relationships ended in heartbreak because his partners felt like a third wheel in their own relationships. And they had every right to break up with him. For all he knew, Calum just jumped into those relationships to get over you or to distract himself into loving another person that wasn’t you, all for nothing. Yet this relationship seemed like the real deal, the one that could actually sweep him off his feet and take his mind off of you, truly making him feel alive. And it worked until it didn’t. Until she called things off saying

“I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s you, but this is not working. We haven’t been working for a while now, have we?”

All he could do was agree and let her go. He loved her enough to do that without a fight. Or didn’t love her as he should. And maybe all she wanted was for him to fight for them, guess he let themselves down on that one. But if all these break-ups had something in common, is that you would always be there by his side to cheer him up.

“She deserves someone that can provide her with what she needs,” He said as you both sit with face masks and two glasses of wine filled to the brim “I guess it was not meant to be me”

“I’m sorry, Cal” You gave him a small, apologetic smile, while your hand went to his shoulder and squeezed it. His hand soon fell on top of yours “I’m proud of your decision, though, you and hers. It’s not healthy to be hung up in a relationship that’s just not going anywhere”

“Yeah, I know” He sighed, hiding the small smile that popped up when you didn’t retrieve your hand from his “It’s not like I’m heartbroken or anything, it’s just- I guess I’m just frustrated that we couldn’t make it work. None of my relationships seem to last because of that”

“Well, have you wondered why?” You sat up with interest, turning toward him and moving your hand to his thigh. Something completely innocent on your part, but that still made Calum’s heart beat a little bit faster.

“Of course I have”

“So what is keeping you from going after what you want in a relationship? Is it a previous heartbreak?”

“No… I don’t think I had one of those before” He said like a liar.

He knew that his heart was in perpetual mourning because of you, he was just too proud to admit it. All his past attempts at love were only meant to get over you and forget about the person you were currently hung up with.

Whenever you would tell him about a date or a new partner he’d made sure he’d have another story for you. Some of them made up on the spot, some taking inspiration from one of his friend’s dates, some of them real but without the same, genuine excitement you showed for your love life. A love life that didn’t include him.

Unconsciously, he made it a competition. Did you go on a date? He went on two. Did you kiss someone? He spent the night in another bed. All just so you could give him some type of reaction. Any indication that you were mad or uncomfortable about it. About him dating someone that isn't you. But every time you were supportive, feeling happy for him, and even encouraging him to call girls he didn’t even want to know more than just a one-night stand.

Calum only ever wanted for you to feel like he feels whenever he has to hear about the new guy that brought you flowers; the one that took you on a spontaneous trip to the Grand Canyon; or the one that cooked you a homemade meal for your first date. All the things that were killing him, he hoped you could feel at least a small amount of it. Waiting for you to realize it sooner rather than later.

“What?” You chuckled, nudging him with your elbow “The great Calum Hood never had his heart broken, he just breaks all the hearts along the way”

He laughed, pushing you slightly “Not all the hearts”

“Oh yeah, the other ones are Ashton’s job”

Calum just shook his head, quieting the voice in his head telling him that he didn’t break all the hearts because he was not going to break yours if given the chance to have it.

“Laugh all you want, you little gremlin,” He said

“Aww, Cal, I’m sorry” You pouted “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just really want you to be happy, you know? Find your person and all of that”

“I am happy, Y/N” He stated matter-of-factly “I have the band, the fans, Duke… I have you”

“I know, and I’m also so happy to have you” You smiled, lacing your fingers with his “But I’m talking about “the one”. You know, the one that makes your heart go crazy and the world spin around slower. The one that occupies your mind and every time you think about them you can’t help but smile. Someone that you can actually fall in love with. I’m not talking about marriage or things that we don’t believe in most of the time. But the one that makes the heartbreaks and disappointments all worth it because it led you to them”

Calum stared at you with an unreadable look in his eyes. How could you describe exactly what he was feeling but still have no idea that he has those feelings for you?

It has been a long time since he accepted you as being more than friends, or at least in his heart he knows you could be more. You were just perfect in every way, made just for him. And he loves you, he loves you so much without a hint of fear or doubt. But you just can’t see it.

“Maybe there is someone…” He mumbled, ready to spill his heart out to you on a silver platter.

But before you could register his words, your phone started ringing.

“Shit, wait a second,” You said, grabbing your phone from the table. Calum saw the small smile that formed on your lips before you declined the call “Sorry, what did you say?”

“Y/N, I-” He started again, and once again your phone interrupted him. He sighed “You should get that”

“What?” You asked, already silencing the phone again “No, it’s nothing, I promise”

“Who is it, though?”

“Oh, it’s just Matt”

“Matt?”

“Yeah, I told you about him, remember?” And he wished he didn’t.

You told him you were going on a date with someone called Matt a couple of weeks ago. He didn’t know you were still talking, let alone that you moved on to the “call” phase of the relationship. And now he couldn’t help but notice the gleam in your eyes when you said his name, a gleam that he knew would never be reserved for him.

“I forgot to tell him that he needn’t call me tonight” You sighed, already texting him. Calum could see the disappointment in your eyes.

“You should call him”

“What? No, Cal, I’m here for you and nothing is going to change that”

“I know, and thank you for that,” He said, faking his smile as much as he could “But I know you, and I know you want to call him so go ahead. I don’t mind”

You sighed “Thanks, babe. I’m just going to tell him tonight is off limits, it’ll take five minutes and then I’m all yours”

Oh and how it hurt him hearing you laugh from the kitchen as those five minutes went on. You sounded so happy and full of joy… he couldn’t take that from you now and, plus, would you even believe him?

Matt… what does he have that Calum doesn’t? Apparently, all the necessary to make you come back all giddy and blushing.

And when you sat up next to him and changed the topic back to Calum, his glass was already half empty.

“Hey, mate” Calum heard after the door slid open. Ashton soon stood next to him “Ready to go back in there?”

“Would Michael miss me if I don’t sing happy birthday to him?”

“You will break his heart” Ashton chuckled, trying to make him laugh as well but to no avail “You can’t avoid her forever, you know? She’s starting to notice”

“Well about fucking time” Calum spat, throwing the last of his cigarette to the floor.

Ashton sighed “Cal, c’mon… It’s not fair on her”

“It’s not fair to me either! What do you think, Ash? Do you think it’s funny for me to see her with him? To know every fucking detail of her happy life with Matt as if it didn’t kill me inside? It’s been years! Years where I have been so fucking close to telling her how I feel but there’s always him in the middle!”

He wasn’t crying, and he would not cry either. But he stopped hiding the rage he felt as his true feelings came spilling out of his mouth like a fountain of truth. He’d never said any of this out loud but now it seemed impossible to stop it.

“I’m just so fucking tired of seeing her with him. Seeing her kissing him, holding his hand, going on dates… All the things I should be doing with her”

“Cal…”

“No, fuck it! It’s true! It should be me! It always should’ve been me” His voice broke a little in the end “I should be the one in his place. I should’ve told her everything that night years ago, then I could be the one sitting on the couch with her, laughing and sharing those touches she thinks no one sees. But I do. All the fucking time those moments play on a loop inside my head and it’s making me want to scream. She’s the first girl I ever loved, the one that breaks my heart every single day because I keep letting her. She’s the one that’s making me feel like this without her knowing and it’s not fair! I could go in there right now and tell her how I feel but that won’t change a thing! She’ll still choose him! But I loved her first, Ash. I loved her first!”

Suddenly, all the air in his lungs was being crushed as Ashton brought him closer for a bone-wrenching hug.

For the first time that night, Calum relaxed. He let his body fall against Ashton’s frame as he hugged him back, hiding his face in his neck as the high of his confession wore off.

“I know it hurts,” Ashton said, lowly “But you can’t keep doing this to yourself, Cal”

“I know,” He sighed, pulling himself from the hug and patting Ashton’s arms “I don’t want to feel this way but I just can’t- I can’t let her go”

“Then try. You love her, do that for her”

“But what if-”

“If she feels the same and realizes that someday, then she’ll come to you. Don’t keep on waiting for an “if” Cal, you deserve more than that and so does Y/N”

Calum sighed and nodded, shaking his head a minute later from the overload of feelings. It wasn’t normal for him to snap like that, but it has been years since he kept it all in. It was bound to come out sooner or later, but he’d hope for a better outcome.

“Knock-knock!” Someone said behind them “Am I interrupting something?”

The two of them turn around to find you standing at the door, smiling at them as if nothing happened.

Immediately Calum started to panic, fearing that you’d heard everything. He said he hated your boyfriend, that he wishes he’d take his place, that he loved you… And you might’ve heard all of it while he was on a rant.

“H-hey, Y/N! Not at all, what’s up?” Ashton played the calm one, giving Calum time to freak out internally.

You were still smiling at them as you pointed back inside “We’re about to sing happy birthday, didn’t think you wanted to miss out”

You were acting so calm, with a big, kind smile on your face. Maybe you didn’t hear anything and just watched them hug awkwardly for a minute there. Calum could only hope. But then you smiled at him and nudged your head toward the party, and all he could do was breathe out and smile back, calming his nerves a little bit.

The three of you went back inside, quickly surrounding Michael as Luke brought out the cake and you all started to sing.

Calum looked back at you, standing next to Matt and leaning your head on his shoulder as your hands laced together. You looked briefly at your boyfriend and smiled, looking as happy as ever.

“Happy birthday dear Michael…”

And then it happened. For just one moment you looked back at Calum when he was already looking at you and his heart stopped.

You gave him a small, sad smile and shook your head no.

“Happy birthday to you!”

And all his hopes went away with the blow of the candles. * * tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @hoodharlow @littledrummeraussie @bubblegum183 @irwin-fletcher-ash @wiiildflowerrr @in-a-world-of-fandoms @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @in-superbloom @sadcupofcoffee @personalmuyverypersonal @himbohood @sofiaaraee @irwindoll @weasleytwinscumslut @fairytrice @colourfulcal @nibin0912 @hfkait @savagejane1 @youneedtocalumdown @heyitskelseaj @ashtonsunflower @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @alltimesos @wontlastimokwiththat @whywontyoulovemecami @theimpossiblehologramtree @perriexed @abiancajg @rewmuslupin @icelily13 @bookthingz @gracieboogirl @fastandtheformula1 @fckingpernico @multistann @averageantichrist @a-darneddarling @plaidshirtyears @ihavenoideawhattodowithyou @bittersweetb4by @aria-grace-scott @thestarsandtheircoffee @bvbygxrl @luisa180206 @xxxlaura @iamdayanaz @flyingburrito123 @drugerlime

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prettytoxicrevolver · 1 year

Text

5 Seconds of Summer

How to Navigate:

❤ Heart = Fluff ★ Star = Taylor Swift Song Fic ⬥ Diamond = My Favorite

Luke Hemmings

Better Man ❤ ⬥

Ashton Irwin

Hate

Shop

Why Won’t You Love Me ⬥

I Love You

Nails ❤

Insecure

Moving Along

Calum Hood

Dad ❤

Shut Up

Heather

Michael Clifford

Hair Dye ❤

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jupitersreadings · 1 year

Note

Hi lovie saw that you took requests and I was wondering if you’d write something about the boys coming home from tour or something and it’s just been long since they’ve seen each other and it’s just a cute reunion🥺

welcome home

summary; above

warnings; n/a, short, fluffy

pairing; y/n x band, y/n x luke

six months. it’s been six months since you’ve seen your best friends along with you boyfriend. they’ve been on the take me home tour and it had concluded just a week ago.

your leg bounced as you sat in the airport. people passed you, reuniting with friends and family. others running to their flight or baggage claim.

you had never been nervous before when picking up the boys but it had never been this long since seeing them. you were unable to visit all tour due to you work schedule.

both luke and you had been so busy as well that your communication fizzled out to only a good morning and good night texts along with some ‘ i love yous ‘ here and there. that’s what made you the most nervous. what if everything’s different.

you saw the mass of people making their way towards you. knowing it was the boys, it became louder around you.

then you saw him. you stood as he looked up, he looked exhausted. dark circles, a hat, baggy clothes. but his smile grew as soon as you saw him. you have him a slight wave and that’s when mike saw you too.

luke picked up the pace, excusing himself as he pushed past people until he reached you. he let go of his stuff and wrapped his arms around you. he lifted you off your feet because of his height and held you close.

“ oh my goodness i missed you so much y/n “ he whispered into your neck. he finally set you down, remembering where you were and how many people were around. turning towards mike who was the next person after luke, throwing your arms around him and making your way to ash and calum.

once all the hugs were done like made his way back right next to you. he slipped his hand into yours as you led them threw the airport to your car.

“ i’m so excited your guys are home, we have a brunch planned for tomorrow and we can all catch up but fill me in now how was everything? “ you asked opening the trunk of your car helping the guys throw their suitcases in the car. luke’s hands never left you, whether it be your waist or your hand.

“ obviously it was incredible but i’m so exhausted and so excited to see my dogs and crystal “ mike chipped in while helping with the bags.

“ brunch will be so nice because i’m sorry but i’m closing my eyes the way home “ calum spoke up and then turned to ashton “ im using you for a pillow big guy “ he laughed. you couldn’t help but smile now having them back. you shut the trunk as ashton, calum, and michael all piled into the back letting luke take the front seat.

“ i’m so happy to be back with you “ luke looked down and smiled at you once more. he leaned down and kissed your forehead and pulled you in for another hug. he held you tight and smiled as you held him back.

“ let’s go luke, time to get you guys home “ you smiled as you let go of him. he laughed slightly knowing he was gonna make you come home with him because you are his home.

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #5 seconds of summer imagine #5sos imagine #5sos x reader #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings one shot

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all-timelee · 2 years

Text

Bad Omens || A.I.

//This is my first imagine I've written based on a song, so I'm hoping it turned out all right\\

Warnings: None

Word count: 796

Masterlist

So this is where I am Hanging on a feeling Driving through the valley just to chase the pain again

You stared at the man in front of you, your heart breaking as the words he spoke sunk in. "I don't think we should be together anymore." You refused to accept it; your feelings too strong for Ashton to let go that easily. After all the hoops you had to jump through to be happy with him, it couldn't end like this. You wished more than anything you could turn back time, go back to a happier time, but that was impossible.

So this is where we are I should've seen it coming Everytime we say goodbye, I say hello again

This wasn't the first time you and Ashton had a conversation like this. It had been rough at the start, neither of you sure if this relationship was good for you. But you stayed. You stayed through the sleepless nights and the countless arguments, willing to fight to be by his side. It had gotten better, for a while at least. But it wasn't long before it all felt like it was falling apart once again.

I cried in your dark brown eyes for the thousandth time cause you love somebody

Tears began pooling down your cheeks, your eyes never leaving his as your mind raced. "Ashton, no, please." He shook his head, face full of hurt, but he wouldn't change his mind. His eyes looked into yours, begging for forgiveness, or maybe even understanding, but there was none. Nothing could change what you two had been through together, nothing would make it all okay again. He knew that, he just wished he could make you understand that as well.

I cried when you left that night for the thousandth time cause you love somebody else

"I met someone. I care about you. Y/N, but this isn't healthy. This is what's best, for both of us. I need to be with someone else." Your heart shattered as his words tore you apart, leaving you standing in complete shock. "I want that for you too. I want you to be with somebody better for you than I am." The tears rolled off your chin, you were so weak. So weak and in pain and you didn't even realize that Ashton took another step towards you. He held you tightly against his chest, kissing the top of your head.

"I have to go, Y/N. I'm sorry, truly. I wished things could've worked out better for us."

I tried to stop the door as it was closing it was closing

Your head followed his movements as he shrugged his jacket on and headed for the door, your eyes wide as you rushed towards the man. You were desperate to keep him with you, as angry as he made you, you were deeply in love with him. You weren't sure how to live without him. He shut the door behind him just as you reached it and your body collapsed, loud sobs leaving your lips as you pleaded for him to come back. To take you with him. To tell you everything would work out. All you wanted was to have a chance at being happy again with the one person who meant everything to you.

Can't help the way I keep ignoring every omen every omen

A part of you knew it would end from the start, but you pushed it to the back of your mind. Every doubt that clouded your mind, you ignored. You wanted it to work so bad, you couldn't allow yourself to doubt him. You shouldn't have, that was clear now. Maybe this wouldn't hurt so much if you had listened to your gut and ended it before it got to this point. If you hadn't fallen in love with Ashton in the first place, none of this would've happened.

Heaven knows I should let go It's nothing that I don't already know

You had to pick yourself up, you knew he wasn't coming back, even if you'd give anything to have him back with you. As sad as it was, you knew better than to hope for something that couldn't ever happen. Your sobs subsided after a bit and you reached up to wipe away the reminaing mositure under your eyes. As much as you wanted to sit by the door all night and wait for him to come rushing in, you forced yourself up to your feet.

You had to focus on the future now, push yourself to forget the man you believed to be the love of your life. You felt like your body had been ripped apart, your heart shattered, but you had to start somewhere, right?

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itisannak · 1 year

Text

Dr. Angel Face Prequel Part 9: Meet the Family (Calum Hood Fluff)

Summary: Calum's mom and sister visit him in California and they finally meet (Y/N), probably in her worst possible moment. (T.W: Mention of Death / Description of Depressive Episode / Mention of Car Accident) (Words: 3.1k) (Penultimate Part of The Prequels) Dr Angel Face Main Stories: Fetish / Heat / Heat Extended / Dr. Angel Face / Dr. Angel Face Alternative / Dr. Angel Face Prequel 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 10 / My Full Masterlist / Dr. Angel Face Masterlist

"Nervous about meeting my mother?" Calum asks as I take a look at the souffle in the oven. "Not really. I am way more nervous about meeting your sister." I reply, taking a deep breath in anticipation. In less than 2 hours, I will be meeting his mom and sister, two of his absolutely favorite people. "She is your age, you will get along." He brushes me off, sticking his tongue out as he laughs while I narrow my eyes at him. "Did you just jab at our age gap?" I ask him, making him roll his eyes. "Age gap... It's just 4 years. You need to relax." He replies, wrapping his arms around my waist and pecking my temple. "And now I am worried about meeting your mom too... What will she think of the age difference?" I sigh, biting the inside of my cheek. "She already knows I am dating a MILF." He states, earning a slap on his hand. "I am not a MILF. First of all, I am not that old. And second, I am not a mother." I point out and he hums, moving his lips down the side of my neck. "I can help with the second part of it." He grazes his lips over my sweetspot, making chills crawl on my skin. "You have to leave for the airport. Think of the traffic." I moan, feeling a ticklish sensation caused by his lips. "I'd rather think of you. Plus, we have at least an hour and a half before they even land." He counters, tilting my head to the side to gain himself more access. "Traffic can be brutal heading to the airport." I deny him, moving from his embrace. "For someone so anxious about meeting my family, you sure are eager for me to pick them up." He comments and I sigh. "Your mom and sister both have traveled a very long trip to see you. The least you can do is be there on time to pick them up." "In all honesty, they saw me not even 6 months ago. They are coming for you, angel." "Did you tell me that so I can just dip?" I ask him and he chuckles. "You will be fine. They are not gonna bite. That's my job." He winks, leaving a kiss on my forehead before picking up his phone from the counter. "Please, no dirty talk, or innuendos in front of your family. I am begging you." "I will have to consider that. I like the way you get flustered by my comments." "Calum..." I protest. "Can't hear you. I am leaving." He says cheerily, strutting towards the front door.

Despite jitters making my stomach a tight knot, I managed to finish cooking and set the table in Calum's backyard. As per usual, it is a lovely day in Los Angeles and it would be a pity not to take advantage of the beautiful weather and have a meal outside.

I hear Duke barking towards the door as I finish placing the pot of ragù for the pasta in the middle of the table. I straighten up and head inside through the kitchen door, bracing myself for the moment I have been so anxious about.

I walk to the front of the house, kneeling down to pet Duke and get him to stop barking. There is too much noise in this tiny dog. "Bud, it's ok. You'll tire your voice." I coo at the dog and scratch behind his ears. "I got the bags..." I hear Calum exasperate as he opens the door. I put on a smile and move aside to clear the way for them to walk in. "Ah, there she is... Mom, Mali, this is (Y/N). (Y/N), my mom and sister." Calum introduces us, right at the moment the two women walk in. Joy is the first to approach me, pulling me in for a hug. I am surprised, pleasantly surprised, but still taken aback. "It is so good to finally meet you in person. All Calum did over Christmas was talk about you." Joy says, pulling away to take a better look at me. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you as well. Calum talks about you all the time. How was your trip?" I ask, smiling at her. "Very long. Thank you for asking." "Mom, don't hog the girl. There are others waiting." Mali comments, moving to hug me. "I have been wanting to see you in person for so long. You are even more gorgeous than Calum told us." "Oh my, thank you. Calum sure talks a lot." I turn to my boyfriend who smirks and shrugs. "I thought my sharing was confidential. But apparently, everyone is kissing and telling in this family." Calum glares at the two women. "Oh, hush. We haven't even told her half of what you have told us." Mali comments. "And that is the reason why I am never telling you anything again." He sighs. "I have set the table outside. Hope you don't mind." I change the subject, pointing to the backyard. "Just give us a minute to freshen up and we will be right in there." Joy turns to look at Calum for directions. "I'll take you upstairs, and show you your rooms too." Calum picks up the luggage, signaling the 2 women to start heading upstairs. "See you in a bit, (Y/N)." Mali waves at me with a soft smile on her lips. She looks just like Calum, who in turn looks just like Joy. It is like seeing triple.

"You are a surgeon, you can cook... Is there anything you cannot do?" Mali asks me as I serve her a piece of souffle. "I cannot ride a bike... So, put that on my disadvantage list." "You cannot ride a bike?" Calum asks me in surprise, eyes widening. "I really can't. I never learned how to." I reply, making him scoff. "How come I didn't know?" He asks me as I hand him back his plate after serving him. "I guess it was never brought up." I take a seat, picking up some salad. "Calum told us you are a pediatrician." Joy comments and Calum groans. "Mom, I told you she is a neurosurgeon..." He says through gritted teeth, almost protesting on my behalf. "Cal, come on. It's fine. I am a neurosurgeon, but I am doing a fellowship in neonatal and pediatric neurosurgery. So, I am working with babies, children, and adults. Everyone really." I explain. "It must be very challenging." Mali comments and I nod. "It is. But I cannot imagine myself doing anything else. I think I had settled down on what I wanted to do at the age of 2. By 10, I know it had to be neurosurgery. 3 days into my internship, I knew I had to work with children." "Anyways, enough about me. Calum tells me you are a musician as well. Does musical talent run in your family, or...?" I ask and Mali chuckles. "I think he is just copying me. Like all younger siblings do." Mali playfully eyes Calum, who smirks and shrugs. "She is just mad because I dethroned her." He comments and Malik cackles. "You wish you could dethrone me." Mali rolls her eyes and I laugh. "Were they always like that?" I turn to Joy who looks at her children proudly. "Always a headache. Especially my Calum. But I dread the day they will stop being like that." She looks at them with so much love in her eyes, clearly showing she has missed her children interacting like that. "Do you have siblings?" Joy asks me and I shake my head no. "I am an only child. But I have a lot of cousins. So I sort of get this dynamic." I gesture to the siblings who are still oblivious to us talking. "Are you close to your parents?" "Very. I don't see them often, due to work, but we call each other frequently and I visit as much as I can." "Do they live far?" She asks me and I shake my head no. "Not really. It is a four-hour drive, but I don't always have the energy to travel there and I need to always be available in case there is an emergency at the hospital." "Your parents must be very proud of you. So young and already so successful. And a hard worker." "Mrs. Hood, you are making me blush. Thank you so much. It means a lot hearing it from you. You have raised such incredible children. Especially Calum. I don't think I have ever met anyone like him." I turn my head to look at Calum, who is showing something on his phone to Mali. "Please, call me Joy. No need for formalities." She reaches to cup my hand in empathy.

"Shall I bring out the dessert?" I ask once I see everyone empty their plates. "What are we having?" Mali asks. "I made my very famous salted caramel cheesecake." I reply, making Calum moan in excitement. "This is one of the reasons I fell in love with her." He comments, and I roll my eyes. "I'll come help." Mali offers, standing up from her chair. "Coffee?" I ask Joy who nods. "Mali knows how I take it." Joy looks at her daughter who nods her head. "How can I forget?" She sighs, following me inside.

"Thank you for offering to help." I turn to her, heading to the fridge to bring out the dessert. "It's the least I can do. Your food was amazing." "Thank you. I don't cook often, to be honest." "I get why. But it was really great. It must have taken you all day to cook all that." "Not really. I am pretty good at multitasking. And Calum also helped." "Oh... I don't remember Calum ever being good at cooking." She comments, searching the cabinets for mugs. "He is great at it, though. He always cooks for me whenever I stay over." "You don't live together?" Mali asks surprised. "No. I am staying here for a few days because I have some issues with my roommate and I am looking for a new place." I explain and she hums in surprise. "I thought you had moved in. Oh, well. My bad. And I hope you find a solution to the whole housing issue soon." "Thank you. Oh, can you excuse me for a second?" I ask as my phone rings. Mali nods and turns to the coffee maker, focusing on making coffee as I accept the call.

(Calum's POV) Mali approaches the table, looking at me hesitantly, like a scolded puppy. "Cal, something is wrong with (Y/N)." She says worriedly, making me look at her in confusion. "What do you mean?" "Is she ok?" My mom asks and Mali shakes her head. "Her phone rang. I heard her say the name Robin... They talked a little and (Y/N) took off crying." "Her supervisor, Robins... She is teaching her the techniques for her fellowship. Crap... I'll be right back."

My heart is pounding as I look for her, just the thought of anything hurting her makes me furious. I can hear her sobs even before I open the door to the bedroom, and my heart sinks to my stomach. "(Y/N), darling..." I call her, not wanting to startle her with my presence. "Baby, what's wrong?" I walk further into the room, softening my voice as she turns to look at me. "Nothing. I am fine. I will be downstairs in a minute." She tries to pull herself together, but her voice breaks and soon the tears she so carefully tried to dry are back in her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks. "Angel..." I sigh, moving to take a seat by her side on the bed. "Don't worry about coming downstairs. Tell me, what happened? Mali told me Robins called." I cradle her face in my hands, trying to make her look at me, make my presence there conscious. "She had an accident." She can barely mumble before the next fit of crying. "Who? Robins?" I ask her, trying to make sense of what she is telling me. (Y/N) shakes her head, no, her bottom lip quivering. "The mother of the baby. The one I was supposed to operate on once it was born... She was in a car accident... And she..." (Y/N) cannot bring herself to finish the sentence. She buries her head in my chest, sobbing onto my shirt. "Oh my God... What about the baby?" I ask her, and at that moment her sobbing becomes louder. "It is unfair... So unfair. I could have saved her. I could have saved her, but I didn't have a chance. I could have fixed her. I could have given her a normal childhood. But I didn't have a chance... I didn't have the chance. It is unfair." She sobs, her speech becoming slurred. "Honey... I am so sorry... Sweetheart..." I don't know what to do, or what to say to make her pain go away. All I can do is press pecks on the top of her head, and let her cry it all out. "It's not your fault, baby. It's not your fault." I repeat, time after time, hoping it gets through her head. Because it is not her fault. It is not, and she should not blame herself for the death of that woman, or the death of that child.

I open the curtains letting the morning light fill the room. (Y/N) is still in bed, covers brought up to her ears, unbothered by the sudden change of lighting in the room. I walk to the bed, taking a seat before I bring down the covers a little. "Good morning, angel. It is time to get up." I say softly, stroking her arm. "I just want to sleep." She mumbles, still in the same motionless state. "You have been sleeping since the day before yesterday. You haven't eaten anything since dinner with my mom and Mali." I comment but she groans. "I am not hungry. And I just want to sleep. Leave." She sounds exhausted, which is not fitting for someone who has been sleeping for nearly a day and a half. "Well, this is not happening, so let's get over with the hard part and get out of bed." I pull the covers off her body, making her curl up in a fetal pose. "I hate you right now." She mumbles but I just brush it off, picking her up from the bed.

I put her over my shoulder, carrying her to the en-suite bathroom. "Let's get you washed up..." I let her on her feet before I turn the tap on in the shower to warm up the water. "Don't you even think of running back to bed." I help her out of her pyjamas, while she looks at me like she is detached from what is going on currently. "Alright... You can be like that if you want to, but I am not going to let you crawl back to bed." I say softly, pressing a kiss on her forehead. I strip off my clothes too, before helping her into the shower. "It would be so much easier for you to just let me lay in bed forever." She comments as the water hits her. I grab her shampoo from the rack, pouring some into my palm. "It would be... But I am always up for a challenge." I lather her hair up with the shampoo, massaging it onto her scalp.

"You got me out of bed, you got me washed up, you fed me... Don't you think it is enough?" (Y/N) asks in frustration as I practically drag her out of the house. "It is enough when I say it is enough. Now, into the car we go." "Don't you have to spend time with your family? Isn't that the point of them traveling all the way here?" She asks me and I shrug. "They are visiting Ashton today. He is taking them for lunch and then to see a theatre show. More questions?" I ask her and she groans. "Why won't you let me just stay in bed?" She asks me. "Would you? Would you let me wilt away in bed for something that was not my fault?" I ask her softly and she sighs. She silently walks to the passenger side, still keeping her detached look.

"I know it is not my fault." It is the first phrase she says since we arrived at Malibu Beach. I turn to look at her, clearing her face of the strands that the air has blown onto her face. "Thank God for that." I reply, stroking her cheek slowly. "I just can't accept that I didn't have the chance. I can't accept that the baby didn't have the chance. There is so much beauty in the world, and that creature will never get to see it, experience it in all its glory." She sighs, covering her face with her hand, blocking the sun out. "It is unfair, I am pissed about it too. But falling apart is going to rob all those children who are waiting for you to work your miracles of the opportunity to be treated. You can't control everything, angel. The car accident was out of your control, you couldn't have predicted it, you couldn't have prevented it. What you can do now is make sure you do your best for the next baby that will need your help, for the next person that will be on your operating table." I stroke her hair, listening to her breathing calmly. "I am so tired." She sighs. I can hear in her voice how tired she is, despite the long sleep. "Bailey said you shouldn't step foot in the hospital until Monday. And she will only allow you back in the OR after you get cleared by a psychologist. You have time to rest." I assure her, but she groans in response. "It's really shitty that I will be away from surgery until I get cleared." "I mean, who would be benefitted from you having a breakdown during surgery?" I ask her. "Your family must be hating me." "My family doesn't hate you. My mom is very worried about you. Especially yesterday when you didn't eat all day. She wanted to force-feed you. They actually really appreciated how involved you are." I assure her, pressing a kiss on her head. "I know I have been the worst girlfriend ever in the past few days, nor the easiest person to comfort or help... But you were the most amazing boyfriend. I mean, you are. You did exactly what I needed you to do, even though I didn't even know what I needed." She says softly. There is still sadness in her voice, I can still sense that her faith in this world has been shaken. "I hope I never have to do that again." I reply, meaning it with my whole heart.

- Dr Angel Face Main Stories: Fetish / Heat / Heat Extended / Dr. Angel Face / Dr. Angel Face Alternative / Dr. Angel Face Prequel 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 10 / My Full Masterlist / Dr. Angel Face Masterlist

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one-sweet-gubler · 2 years

Text

Friends Plus Some *AI*

I'm back! & Accepting request! (peep the updated Prompt List)

I got a new laptop (because my toddler broke my old one)!

I am soo sorry this is so short! I'm slowly getting back into writing! (:

REQUESTED : Yes - @ashirwinstan ; "Hi! I don't know how you take your requests so tell me if I need to ask somewhere else but... could I requests one with Ashton Irwin? Maybe friends to lovers including prompt #1. Thank you so much!!"

PROMPT(S) : 1 - "FUCK! You scared the shit out of me!"

---

"Are you sure you won't be able to make it?" You quizzed sadly into the phone, laying back onto your pillows.

"I'm positive buttercup, the flight is delayed until further notice. I'm sorry. But, to make it up to you, we can have two movie nights." Ashton smiled softly at you through the screen.

"It's fine Ash, just miss watching movies with somebody." You smiled sadly.

"Alright, well I've gotta let you go so we can get checked into this hotel. Cheer up, buttercup." Ashton smiled softly.

"Bye, Ash." You faked a smile, exiting the video call.

Groaning, you threw your phone on your bedside table and made your way out of your room, closing your door behind you.

If Ashton wasn't going to be able to make it to your monthly movie night, no use in pouting over it. You opened the pantry, looking for popcorn and other movie watching snacks. Tossing the popcorn into the microwave and starting it, you leaned against the counter.

The wind blew outside, the crisp fall weather making it perfect for a movie night. It'd be even better if Ashton was here. Before you knew it, your thoughts and memories of the past movie nights started flooding your brain.

"Buttercup, your feet are freezing!" Ashton exclaimed, laughing as he tried to push your feet away from his.

"You're the one who told me to get under the covers with you!" You giggled.

"You're right. They'll warm up eventually." Ashton smiled, placing his hand over your covered knee, your head coming to rest on his shoulder.

Soon your eyes drifted shut, Ashton's head leaning on yours as his did the same.

"They are so in love with each other it makes me sick." Calum spoke, the rest of the guys nodded.

You were broken from your thought by the beeping of the microwave letting you know your popcorn was ready. After putting the popcorn in a bowl and grabbing your other snacks and a drink, you made your way back into your room.

Humming softly, you put your back against your bedroom door and pushed it open.

"So what movie are we watching tonight?" A familiar voice spoke.

A small scream left your mouth as you dropped your snacks and drink.

"FUCK! You scared the shit outta me!" You exclaimed, placing what remained in your arms on the desk by your door.

Nothing but belly laughs and your quick beating heart is what you hear as you try to collect yourself.

Looking towards your bed, you smile, Ashton was laying on your bed, as if he'd been there the whole time.

"How did you get in here?! What are you doing here?!" Tears forming in your eyes as Ashton got off your bed, a huge smile on his face.

"Well, I climbed in through your window. And I'm surprising my favorite girl." He chuckled, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into a hug.

You sniffled softly, wrapping your arms around his neck, hiding your face in his neck.

"Hi." Ashton smiled softly and whispered into your ear.

"Hi." You smiled softly, pulling your face back to look at him.

"You're supposed to be at a hotel, you're not even supposed to be here in this state." You playfully frowned, your eyes raking all over his facial features.

"I know, but I needed to talk to you tonight. Needed to see you and confess something." Ashton spoke softly, his hands staying firm on your hips.

You quirked an eyebrow up at him.

"And what would that be?" You questioned softly.

"That I am madly in love with you. You were on my mind all day and all night. Every single stop we made on the tour, all I could think about was how you would love to see this place. Every hotel room was so lonely, after our nightly phone calls, it was quiet and lonely. I wanted nothing more than for you to be there with me." Ashton spoke softly, moving himself back to sit on the edge of the bed, pulling you to stand between his legs, hands staying put on your hips.

"Ash.." You spoke softly, hands resting on his shoulders.

"Y/N. I don't want to do this without you. I want to be with you. I want you to be with me. Whether it be long term or just for a little. I want an us." Ashton spoke, looking up at you, his hands softly rubbing your sides.

You smiled softly and nodded.

"Ashton, I feel the same way. I have for a while now." Your smile grew as Ashton stood up and pulled you into a kiss.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Ashton spoke quietly, resting his forehead against yours.

"Of course." You giggled as he lifted you and spun in a circle, kissing you softly.

#one sweet gubler imagine #one sweet gubler #ashton irwin x reader #5sos x reader #5sos imagines #calum hood x reader #michael clifford x reader #luke hemmings x reader #ashton irwin 5sos #5sos #ashton irwin x y/n #ashton irwin x you #5sos fanfic #5sos smut #5sosedit #ashton 5sos #michael 5sos #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer imagine

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writersdare · 1 year

Text

Password Is Your Birthday | Calum Hood

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader (she/her)

Summary: Y/N never doubted Calum's loyalty, however, once controversial photos were leaked, their relationship was put to the test.

Warning: angsty, mention of alcohol

Word Count: 2 582

Requested: yes

Author’s Note: Thank you for the patience! Lately I've experienced a somewhat burnout, and couldn't write anything normally. That's really frustrating when it happens, so I couldn't post the work earlier – it's really important to me to be sure in a story, to be fully satisfied with the result. Hopefully you'll enjoy this one! Remember, your activity helps so-so much! ♡

There was nothing better than holding his hand in hers. To reflect a smile on his face. To feel the heartbeat of each other every time they were close.

Sometimes Y/N thought she only imagined him. She created him like a puzzle she used to make in the evenings when was very little. Calum was someone the girl could call perfect. Of course, everyone had their flaws, however, when you loved someone the flaws seemed quite insignificant.

She loved him. He was her second breath, her reason the girl believed in happy endings. It was even funny, amusing and little absurd how two people, who were scared of commitment before, were suddenly searching for love in each other.

Calum adored her. He enjoyed her bright laugh in late afternoons, when they were watching some silly comedy. Praised Y/N's little sad face each time he’d forget to buy something from their shopping list or finish a pack of crisps that supposed to be for both of them. He was guilty, he knew it.

But Y/N was guilty, too. For entering his life and turning everything upside down. For not warning that her smile would change everything in him. The musician felt alive next to her, and she knew it.

"Don’t look at me like this," Y/N chuckled, resting hands on his shoulders. Calum led her in a dance, and even though the room was full of strangers, it felt as if there were just two of them.

"Why so?" Cal giggled back, taking his time to observe the girl’s beautiful eyes. They were shining, and he wanted to believe he was the reason of it.

"You make me shy," she smiled wider, and Calum only laughed at such confession. He doubted it was the truth, because his Y/N could be naughty, but not shy. Not at such moment at least.

"I make you shy? And that’s it?" he asked, smiling.

Y/N made an innocent face only and shrugged, so Calum couldn’t help himself but leave a kiss on the lips.

"I’m going to get us another drink," he whispered and pulled away gently, when the music ended.

Y/N nodded, following Calum with a gaze. It felt like the smile didn’t leave her face for the whole evening. Perhaps, she needed to be careful with that thought, as the girl was about to receive a message that could change everything she believed in.

Cal just disappeared from the sight, when the girl’s phone vibrated. Y/N lazily took it out of a purse and checked the notification. It was a blank email with a photo attached, nothing else. The girl rolled the eyes and already wanted to push a button "spam", seeing unknown address, as noticed on the picture preview outlines of her boyfriend. Even when the photo downloaded, and the girl could see Cal with someone else, she still thought it was fake, a silly prank. Calum was loyal, and he wouldn’t cheat on her. They were both very open about their relationship, and Y/N never had any doubts about him. The girl didn’t have a good look at the photo, when the phone vibrated again. She sighed annoyingly and opened another email, where few more photos were included, as well as a link to Google Drive. Curiosity, or maybe already doubts, took over. Y/N looked around and hurried to a more quiet place, away from the guests. She supposed to celebrate Michael’s birthday, like everyone else, but her festive mood disappeared just at the snap of fingers.

The girl seat on a couch and open the link. Surely, she knew it wasn’t safe to open a link from unknown sender, however, it was Google Drive, so the girl doubted it was just spam already. Y/N was too intrigued – and not in a good way, so she took the risk.

The girl saw few dated folders, the most recent one was created last week. Just like she suspected, there were photos inside – Calum, hanging out with some ginger girl. The stranger was clearly older than Y/N, but looked good, she though. Y/N couldn’t find anything provocative, however, by the look of it, those two clearly had a good time together, laughing and even cuddling each other.

"Here you are! Are you hiding from someone? I barely found you."

Y/N looked up and saw Calum standing in front of her, holding two cocktails in both hands. The girl didn’t even have powers to give Cal at least a short smile. She stood up and took the glass, placing her phone in his palm. Confused, Cal glanced at the screen.

"What is it?" Y/N, drinking the cocktail through a straw, could see how the boyfriend’s face changed, slowly. "This is… This is not what you think," she almost chocked at such a banal phrase. "Where did you get this? Did you follow me?"

The irritation and panic was written on his face, and Y/N started to feel sick of Cal all of a sudden. The girl took her phone back roughly, fighting with a desire to splash the drink on his face.

"Y/N…"

"Unknown admire sent it to me," she finally replied, looking at his eyes and still not being able to believe that a person who she trusted the most failed her like that, lied to her. "Why, Calum? You could just tell me if you didn’t feel the same anymore, why to play this game?" the girl couldn’t tell if she was hurt or simply disappointed. Y/N thought they were not just a boyfriend and girlfriend. It always felt like there was something more than that, they were both friends and lovers. A little family in their own world.

"It’s not a game. Look, I didn’t cheat on you."

"Yet?"

Cal sighed heavily and looked up at the ceiling.

"Do we really gotta do this now? Right here, with all your friends around?" he asked, hoping to make her come to the senses, however, those questions made Y/N nothing, but angry.

"How dare you to ask me this, like it’s not important?"

"Because it’s not!" Calum snapped, leaving his glass on a tray of a passing by waiter, Y/N did the same. "These photos… It’s not… What it is."

"Then what is it? Sneaking out at nights, hugging her? Do I look like an idiot?"

"Look I can’t tell you, but––"

"Unbelievable," Y/N laughed shorty, but she wasn’t really having fun at that moment. The girl headed to the exit of the room, feeling like she couldn’t stay there any longer.

"Please, don’t go," he almost whispered, tiredly, and hurried up to follow her. "Y/N! You can’t just leave, all our friends are here, let’s not do it now."

"I’m sorry, but this is more important to me now. You can stay, as I already understood that seeing someone else isn’t a big deal to you," the girl smirked, calling a taxi.

"I’m not seeing anyone," Calum repeated, even though he knew how it all sounded, when Y/N literally had photos, proving a completely different thing.

"You keep telling me this, but you don’t explain what it is then," the girl said, grinning sadly. "Before lying you needed to come up with a truthful story, Calum," she smirked and got into a car.

The musician followed her, as he couldn’t just leave the girl like that. Cal had no idea how to explain himself; he was very mad at the person, who leaked those photos. Calum obviously didn’t know that someone was taking pictures of him, otherwise he’d be more careful. However, at that particular moment the guy didn’t care as much about the photos going public, – after all, it was only a matter of time when they’d be all over the Internet – as about his relationship with Y/N. Calum knew he messed up, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t fix it.

The way home was accompanied by silence. Y/N had a lot to process. She couldn’t forgive him cheating, and even though the answer was obvious, everything wasn’t as simple as the girl hoped. Despite a clear disappointment in their relationship and even some hate towards Cal, she still loved him. Y/N couldn’t imagine her life without him. The girl thought everything was alright between them. Was is it all really a lie? Was it her fault? Why was Cal seeking a company of someone else?..

By the end of the ride she was so tired of her own thoughts that all what Y/N wanted was to go to bed and wake up happy again. The girl knew it was doubtfully possible to hide from the bitter reality, but she was not ready for another drama that evening.

However, when Y/N went to their bedroom, Calum was not planning to leave it like that.

"Just an hour ago you wanted to talk, so let’s talk," he chuckled, watching Y/N taking off her heels and going to bed. "We aren’t going to bed until we talk about it," Cal said though his teeth, feeling a wave of anger spreading all over his body.

"I don’t have powers to talk about it anymore," the girl replied calmly, covering herself with a blanket. "You should be happy, you’ll have more time to come up with an excuse," she smiled sadly.

"Y/N, I didn’t cheat on you. And I’m not seeing anyone but you," Cal said coldly, taking a seat on the edge of their bed, so he could look in the girl’s eyes. "I swear to you. I love you."

"Then who is it?" Y/N echoed. She wanted to believe Calum, she desperately wanted to believe him, but he wasn’t making it particularly easy. "Are you saying those photos were fake? A photoshop? At the days when you were coming home late because you had night photoshoots with a band? You know, I trusted you, I didn’t even have any doubts, didn’t have a thought to call guys and ask if it was true. I trusted you," Y/N repeated. The tears were stuck somewhere, and the eyes were still dry. She felt simply empty.

"The photos are real," Calum admitted, as there was no point to lie anymore. "But those meeting weren’t dates."

"Give me your phone," Y/N whispered, realising the guy didn’t confirm that he had night shooting sessions with the band. Because he didn’t have them, apparently.

"I can’t…" he whispered back, not looking at her anymore.

"Calum," the girl swallowed, staring at Cal, who seemed like a lost kitten. "Give me your phone," her voice trembled, but she insisted.

The guy looked up and slowly took the phone out from a pocket of his jacket. He hesitated, but Y/N snatched it from his palm immediately.

"Why can’t you just believe me?" the musician chuckled sadly, watching her entering the password – it was her birthday. The password on her phone was his birthday, they did it as a joke, but both kept it in the end.

"Would you believe me?" Y/N asked, opening chats and scrolling his messages, trying to find a familiar face. Cal had a weird obsession with having profile pictures for all his contacts. Funny, but the girl even hoped that the contact she was looking for wouldn’t be there or would remain without a picture. However, Y/N didn’t even need to scroll that far to see an image of that ginger girl.

Opening chat, Y/N saw some photos the stranger was sending Calum. They were sketches of a ring. There were different kinds, Cal’s replies were mostly short as "I like the first variant better" and "can we try it with a blue stone?". They discussed time of their meetings, and Cal would apologise they’d have to meet that late again, explaining it with his crazy working schedule and "too smart girlfriend".

"What is it?" Y/N whispered and looked up at Calum. The guy didn’t move from his place and was watching her every move, while she was reading the messages and checking the photos.

"How do you think?" Cal asked, and it was his time to be disappointed. He wanted it to be a surprise. "That girl is a jewellery designer," he took his phone back roughly, switching off the screen. "I couldn’t find anything in stores, so I contacted someone I knew . We met just few times, and only because I needed to see work in progress with my own eyes. It’s not that easy just by a picture or a sketch, you know," the guy sighed and stood up.

"Calum," Y/N sobbed, feeling like an idiot. She was blaming herself at that moment, however, the reaction the girl had before was rather understandable, too; besides, Cal couldn’t normally explain himself. But how could he? Again, he wanted it to be a surprise.

"I’ll sleep in a couch today, I guess," the musician chuckled sadly, putting the phone back to his pocket. Calum was staring at Y/N’s face, knowing that it wasn’t just her fault, but both of them. And that idiot, who leaked the photos at first place.

"Look, I’m sorry, I thought––"

"I know," Cal interrupted. "But next time trust me what I say."

Y/N jumped off the bed and brushed tears from the face, once Calum left the room.

"Trust you?" she outraged, getting mad that the guy behaved that way. Sure, Y/N messed up, too, but she had her reasons. "You’d react completely the same way if you were on my place, Calum!" the girl caught his hand, so Cal turned around. "It’s not fair. I apologised, I know you wanted to make a surprise, and it’s… it’s such a wonderful surprise, but you can’t tell it’s my fault only! I didn’t believe at first, but what could I do?"

"I know," Cal sighed, cooling off rather quickly, and pressed the girl against his body, cuddling Y/N softly. "I’m sorry," he closed the eyes for a moment. "I just got so upset that my surprise was ruined. It was such a long journey, and you found out like that. Accusing me as well," the guy left a short kiss on her soft cheek. "I love you. Y/N. I’d never cheat on you. You do realise I want you to be my wife?" Calum chuckled, and the smile was sincere.

"Now I do," the girl smiled a bit, still feeling a bit sad that she reacted like that and ruined the surprise. "I love you, too, Calum," the girl said and stood on her toes to kiss the musician on his lips.

"Does it mean you’ll marry me?" he asked through the kiss.

"It does," she cuddled Cal’s neck, once he took her on his arms.

"Y/N Hood, sounds good, huh?" The guys touched her nose with his and then laughed all of a sudden.

"Hey, what are you laughing at?"

"I’m just thinking that this could happen only to us, really," Cal sighed, smiling, and kissed Y/N again. "You know, I gotta admit, you’re extremely hot, when you’re angry. Even though you behaved like a brat."

"Uh, only I did?" the girl squinted, so the musician hurried up to apologise with a short kiss on her neck.

Apparently, that evening they both would never forget for several reasons.

taglist: @dgrangaa, @gracieboogirl

– gifs aren’t mine and belong to the rightful owner, found them here @ghost-of-you –

All stories are original and written by me. Do not copy, trace and post anywhere without permission and credit. The stories are fictional, they do not correspond to reality and written just for fun ♡

Masterlist | Taglist

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prettyyyboyluke · 2 years

Text

Make You Wait

luke let's y/n take control

luke’s wrists are tied to the bed posts, quite tightly he’ll admit. y/n wants luke to feel how she feels when he teases her for hours on end. he let her, just to make her happy. toys were something that luke loved to experiment with, but y/n wasn’t always so keen. but, she remembers a night where nothing was working for her, and she knew that luke had bought her a vibrator and went to go find it. she slept like a baby that night.

luke’s sat up on the bed, y/n across from him. her legs spread wide open, her thighs coated in her arousal. she wants to use the vibrator to torture luke. she would occasionally lean up and kiss him, just to keep him asking for more. y/n has the toy placed perfectly on her clit, making her jump every now and then. sometimes she has to pull away when she feels overwhelmed, and luke doesn’t like to see that. “c’mon angel, don’t you wanna cum?” luke asks her.

of course y/n wants to cum, but she wants to wait it out as long as she possibly can to keep luke frustrated. “not yet,” y/n breaths. she takes her fingers and swipes up her core, feeling how wet she is. “i’m not wet enough.” she says playfully. you could hear him huff, clearly annoyed. he wants to tell her to let him touch her. she sits right on top of his lap, her folds taking in his shaft. she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling herself upwards, sliding her pussy against him. “see?” she asks rhetorically with a giggle behind her tone.

luke groans at her comment. “at least let me touch you,” he breathed. y/n moved her hips with luke, with him trying to get his cock into her walls. “stop messing around.” he demands. luke’s breaking and he needs to get his cock wetter. y/n shakes her head, slowing her hips down.

“i want you to make me cum, but on my terms, not yours.” y/n says. she gets off luke’s lap and sits back to where she was before. she grabs the vibrator and places it back on her clit. she closes her legs on instinct, but opens them back up before luke yells at her. “you always make me wait. even when i do everything you say, you still make me wait. it’s only fair i do it to you.” she says, feeling like she’s justified herself.

she’ll let luke out of his ties, but he needs to promise her that he won’t touch her until she says so. “don’t you want me to feel good?” y/n asks, her head falling to the side. “i’ll let you out of your ties,” a gasp leaves her lips, “but i’ll tell you when you can touch me.” luke groans at y/n’s words. all he wants is to sink his cock down into her wet walls and hear her sweet moans fill the room. “i’m not untying you until you promise me.” she moans, moving her hips into the toy.

luke wasn’t used to not touching y/n whenever he wanted. he always had his hand placed somewhere on her. “okay, i promise.” he says. y/n smiles. she turns the setting up higher, jumping as soon as she does. she’s on her knees, leaning back with her eyes closed. y/n can feel her orgasm approaching, she’s pushing herself down harder on the toy, wanting to buckle her knees and let out moans.

she manages to sit up, though, and untie one of luke’s hands. she lets him free his other hand. luke goes to wrap one of his hands around his cock, pumping it to try to relieve the ache. y/n is close to luke, almost hovering over his lap. she leans down to kiss him, and she kisses him hard. luke kisses her back with the same amount of force. she breaks the kiss and takes his free hand to replace her’s that’s holding the vibrator.

luke keeps the toy right on her clit, watching y/n’s legs shake. “please, please, i need you to fuck me,” y/n says with a whiney tone. luke wastes no time in slipping his cock right into her tight hole. he still holds the vibrator right on her clit, and watches her breath catch in her throat. she starts to move her hips back and forth instead of bouncing on luke’s cock.

“can’t believe this fucking thing got you so wet,” luke says, moving to sit upright. y/n puts her hands on luke’s shoulders, letting his cock fill her up. “are you gonna cum, angel? do you want it that bad?” luke asks in a mocking tone. y/n nods her head, her hair falling all over her face.

“yes, yes, i’m right there,” y/n moans. as soon as she feels the tip of luke’s cock in her stomach, she explodes. she sinks down as far as she can on his cock, the vibrator still going. “don’t move, don’t move, fuck.” she babbles, milking out her pleasure. her hips are moving harshly, she feels her back stretch out.

luke thinks y/n looks dirty, and he loves it. her mouth is hung open and drool coating all over chin, her eyes are squeezed shut, and she’s digging her nails into his shoulders. the tip of his cock is twitching for his release. y/n’s never fully sat on luke’s cock like she is right now. he can feel where y/n is throbbing. y/n finally opens her eyes, her vision blurry when she looks at luke. he smiles at her, running his thumb across her bottom lip. “think we’ll use this more often?” luke smirks holding up the vibrator.

y/n nods her head. she doesn’t move from luke’s cock, she pulls him in to kiss. she leans back, wanting luke to set her on her back. luke leans with her, picking her up by the underside of her thighs, and setting her on her back. y/n moves one of her legs on luke’s shoulder to let him go as deep as he can.

luke places one of his hands on her thigh, putting a small amount of his weight on her. his hips move in a fluid motion, feeling how y/n wants to push back on his cock. luke wants to tease her just a little a little bit. he takes the hand that was on her thigh, and presses down on her lower stomach, stretching her out even further. y/n arches her back and her hips move down while she lets out a moan. she can’t form a word, anything that comes out of her mouth is a string of whimpers. she feels her leg burn with how far luke is stretching her. y/n sits up, watching how luke’s cock moves in and out of her.

her forehead is pressed against luke’s head and slipping down to try and kiss him. “let me kiss you,” she whines like she’s about to throw a tantrum. you can hear the desperation in her tone. luke can tell the dom persona she took on was gone.

“ask me, nicely.” luke says, pulling on her bottom lip with his thumb.

y/n breaths, “can i please kiss you?” it rushed out of her mouth, luke wanted her to need it. luke’s hips never stopped, and y/n has a feeling he’s going to tell her to do it again.

“mm, not like that, angel.” luke says.

she opens her eyes, looking into luke’s. her eyes move down to see his bitten bottom lip. “can i kiss you, please?” her deadeyes are staring back at luke’s. tears are threatening to spill from the corners of her eyes.

they finally kiss and y/n whines so hard she pulls away. she gives luke kisses in between her gasps. one of luke’s hands are gripping her hair out of her face. y/n’s mouth is dry that it’s hard for her to talk. she finally looks at luke, tears in her eyes while she’s trying to catch her breath. luke is starting to loose control of himself. he’s been trying to hold off his orgasm until y/n’s. he’s hoping she’s close, he doesn’t want to wait any longer. “i need you to cum, y/n,” luke pants.

“i’m so close luke, don’t stop please,” y/n moans. luke can’t hold her up for much longer, y/n falls on her back. luke stretches her leg farther back, unbending his knees. “fuck, yes, i’m right there,” y/n moans.

she’s rubbing her clit in fast circles, desperate to cum. she feels her hips buckle down, luke has her hair out of her face. “that’s what i like to see,” luke moans.

y/n’s moving too much for luke, he needs her to stay hill so he can cum. “luke, i-i, oh my god” y/n tries to finish her sentence. y/n’s legs squeeze shut, her walls squeezing down on luke’s cock.

“stay just like that angel, fuck, you feel so good,” luke moans. y/n’s hips push back on him, his cock slipping out of her, but he slips right back in. his arms are barely holding him up and y/n’s leg starts to slip off his shoulder. she feels his cum coating her walls. luke is far deep in y/n’s stomach, like he was when she was on top of him. her walls are still squeezing around his cock, making them both shutter.

y/n’s head is spinning, just like when you’re too drunk and can’t think straight. luke rubs her cheek, bringing her back to him. he kisses her forehead gently, feeling how hot her body is. he finally slips out of her, getting a groan while doing so. she finally opens her eyes and feels her body relax.

her thighs already feel sore, but she knows it’ll be worse in the morning. “i think i like being in charge,” she finally says.

luke pinches her bottom lip, giving her a quick peck. “but you love daddy more.”

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causeyoudontgotoparties · 8 months

Text

𝖬𝖠𝖲𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖳 ✰

𝖲𝖤𝖭𝖣 𝖨𝖭 𝖱𝖤𝖰𝖴𝖤𝖲𝖳𝖲！

𝖢𝖠𝖫𝖴𝖬 𝖧𝖮𝖮𝖣 ✿

Focus (poly!cake)

𝖫𝖴𝖪𝖤 𝖧𝖤𝖬𝖬𝖨𝖭𝖦𝖲 ✿

Focus (poly!cake)

𝖠𝖲𝖧𝖳𝖮𝖭 𝖨𝖱𝖶𝖨𝖭 ✿

－𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇

𝖬𝖨𝖢𝖧𝖠𝖤𝖫 𝖢𝖫𝖨𝖥𝖥𝖮𝖱𝖣 ✿

－𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇

#ashton irwin oneshot #ashton irwin smut #ashton irwin imagi #5 seconds of summer smut #5 seconds of summer oneshot #5 seconds of summer imagine #luke hemmings oneshot #luke hemmings imagine #calum hood oneshot #luke hemmings #calum hood #luke hemmings smut #ashton irwin #michael clifford #ashton irwin imagine #calum hood fluff #calum hood smut #calum hood imagine

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 9 months

Text

Dig You Out

Requested by @beautifulmagicbelieverblog. I combined the two individual requests together as I thought of a longer idea with both these together than individually.

I was thinking for one request how Ashton is over protective of reader since she's accident prone and extremely clumsy and also is insecure about her body and Ashton reassures her and maybe she reassures him about his insecurities? (His can be whatever you want)

Black!Female!Reader Insert.

________________________________

Requests are open briefly until September 24th. Any NSFW content (smut, etc) must be requested off anon to ensure no minors (those 17 and below) are requesting the content.

Feel free to look through my masterlist for more. You can submit a request through my asks.

CW: 18+ content (smut).

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City streets and heels do not mix--call them oil and water. And because of this, whenever a pair of heels are unearthed Ashton’s always a bit more cautious. Doesn’t try to be overbearing, but he still holds your hands up and down sidewalks, ensuring that wherever you two are headed doesn’t have tripping hazards. So now, on a date night, Ashton’s keeping you to the inside of the sidewalk away from traffic, elbow bent as you thread arms around his.

“Careful there,” he states, guiding you around the crack in the sidewalk.

“Thanks, babe,” you return, stretching upwards to ghost a kiss to his jaw.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He couples the sentiment with his free hand coming to rest on yours for a moment.

It’s not just city streets, or heels, or sidewalks Ashton keeps an eye out for either for you. Ashton will step in front of table corners, and tuck you up under his arms so you don’t brush or bump into doors. It’s not necessarily clumsiness, though more than once the manual can open has jumped from your hands and landed on your foot, but there’s a certain level of awareness that escapes you because there are other things you’re juggling in your head--mental lists of what’s needed at the grocery store, and packages to send off, returns to be made, wondering when’s the last dental visit, making sure all corrective lenswear has been ordered and is up-to-date. The two of you are carrying different mental loads, if you’re honest, but it’s how it works for the two of you.

Full from dinner though, the two of you carry on down the sidewalk back towards the car. Ashton wanted to park closer, but the rush hour proved to be a winning opponent and it left him needing to park in a lot a couple blocks over. You didn’t complain then, breathing out a joke that the steps would be good for you, now, the thick evening has settled and you two are taking the stroll back easy to the car.

“Should we stop and get ice cream?” you ask. The state for something sweet is strong and the suggestion falls easily before you nearly rethink it. Before you suggest otherwise, Ashton’s speaking.

“Oh, that would be nice. Do you want to go to the place at the boardwalk?”

You hum in agreement. Should you really have suggested ice cream? Not that you needed anything sweet. You’re more than cognizant that you don’t need it. The dress when you first dawned it before leaving already felt tighter than normal in your midsection. You hadn’t had time to change though. The reservation was for 7:30 PM sharp and with you and Ashton got stuck in traffic on the way home there wasn’t much time to change from what you’d already pulled out to wear.

You’d figured that you’d just dawn the dress, get some food and then be home faster than the discomfort could creep up. But now that you’ve suggested a detour, you can feel your skin crawling beneath the tight cotton fabric. It’s a nice dress. You’ve worn it multiple times. It’s always been tighter fighting. It was the way it was designed. Maybe it was more than you’d usually go for. But you think that to the way Ashton’s face lit up. He’d been sitting just outside the dressing room, but he’d begged you to try the dress on at least. For him, you had.

Ashton had devoured you--not in the dressing room, though he’d tried to muscle his way in. But when you got back home he had you try it on again. Seemingly, Ashton would never be able leave you alone in the dress. Perhaps that’s why you pulled it down from your closet. But now, as you climb into the passenger seat of the car, you’re feeling like it’s a mistake. It rides up too much as you’re sitting. The backs of your thighs are sticking to the seat too much.

You feel like you should be crawling into yourself.

“Vanilla or chocolate this time?” Ashton asks.

You shrug at the question. “What are you feeling? Is it a sundae kind of day?” Perhaps, you could at least split that. Maybe. God, you should not have suggested ice cream.

“I don’t know. It could be? Do you want a sundae? We could split it. Unfortunately, no lady and the tramp style today for us, but if you wanted to, we could.”

It’s a small nod, but you verbalize with a yes and Ashton reaches over to rest a hand on your knee. It’s a comfortable touch, a soothing back and forth over the ridges in your skin. You want to melt into the touch. It’s what you’d normally do. But you sit stiff in the seat. This was all a mistake.

You want to say something to Ashton, suggest that maybe you just grab a carton from the local store and then carry it home, but by the time the words work themselves up your throat Ashton’s pulling into a parking space. There goes your window of time to escape. Sucked up and you thought maybe the traffic from earlier might be a saving grace.

“Alright, let’s get us a sundae on a Sunday,” Ashton teases. “Look at that! We hadn’t even planned it but it works so well.”

You want to laugh alongside him. A small smile lifts your cheeks and that’s all you can muster. You're slow as you pull the seat belt back towards its normal spot, hanging and ready. Asking for ice cream was such a bad fucking idea. The door cracks open and Ashton’s voice seems to cut through a fog, but yet, he still sounds far away.

“Baby? Baby are you okay?”

His touch--just on the lower part of your thigh, near your knee is enough to bring reality back into focus. “I-I feel sort of exposed,” you answer, waving over the length of your body. It’s more than that if you’re honest. You feel like you’re being splayed out with the door open. You feel hung up for gawking, wishing you’d worn pants and a blouse instead. Anything to hide you away. Anything to make you blend in.

“Hey, okay, that’s okay.” Ashton returns. He pulls the car door in closer to his body, arm draped over it so he can keep it pressed to his body. “Do you still want ice cream? You can wear my jacket the rest of the night? Or, uh, there’s the blanket we leave in the back?”

You snort at the imagined site: you huggled in next to Ashton in this godforsaken creamery huddled in a blanket, your heels clacking with your steps. “A blanket feels a bit much.”

“Just tell me what you need, baby. I’ll do it. I’ll dawn myself in the blanket if necessary,” he teases.

You look up from the seat, watching him protect you--door still squeezed into his body and a gentle smile on his face. Your stomach flutters just a little at the sight. “Can-can we just go home? I don’t think I can right now.”

“Yeah, we can go home. There’s a box of ice cream sandwiches there too. Better because it was cheaper and we get more ice cream per dollar than what we’d get inside.”

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“You’re welcome.”

Ashton’s quick to get the door closed and then jogs back around to the driver side. He doesn’t fully get it. And you’re not mad at that part--you were sure that once you got home you’d not touch an ice cream sandwich either, but at least you can be home. At least you can wallow in misery in sweatpants or something else. You didn’t have to subject yourself to anything more for the time being. Ashton’s hold on your knee is tighter than normally, his fingers still brush at your skin softly back and forth but the pressure of his palm into you is firmer.

“I’m not going to float away,” you tease while he’s stopped at a red light.

“No, no you’re absolutely not going to float away on me. I’ll be damned if you do.”

“Oh.” It’s not an articulate response, but you watch now as Ashton’s brows furrow together. “Is everything okay?”

He turns just long enough to speak. “Love, you tell me if everything is okay. Are you okay?”

The light turns green, you see it out of the corner of your eye. But Ashton doesn’t move. Doesn’t lift his food off the brake. “Baby, the light,” you caution.

“Damn the light and the next one. This whole week you’ve been making comments about yourself. I thought they were just one offs. But I don’t know anymore. You want to skip out on sundae and when have you ever skipped out on a treat? With your sweet tooth? I-I want to understand. Are you okay? Really, are you okay? ”

The car behind lays into their horn, long incessant honking. Ashton doesn’t move though. His gaze is locked onto you. The other cars are whizzing by in the lane over to you. Others are honking too.

It’s a quick light. You know that for sure. And you know Ashton’s a stubborn man when he wants to be.

“Ashton, I love you and I will spill my guts, but please, the light.”

He sighs, foot lifting now as the car rolls forward, the light flickers yellow just as you two roll through the intersection. “I-I don’t want you to think you’re alone or anything. I’m here for you. I should’ve said something sooner. I’m sorry.”

“I believe you when you say you’re here for me. I know that.”

Ashton’s been there through thick and thin, food poisoning when you literally could keep nothing down and inside. He’s been there when you got promoted at jobs and when you’ve left them. It’s not a question about his own loyalty. You know that. But it’s all the other noise inside your head.

“They call it an apron belly,” the words are tumbling out of your mouth as the house whizz by. Maybe Ashton was talking or maybe it was the radio. But whatever was speaking prior silences.

“They--who’s they?”

“People, influencers, doctors, I don’t know. But it’s called an apron belly. And it’s all over my feeds. I hate the phrase. I really do. But it’s just goddamn everyone. And if it’s not one ad about getting rid of belly fat it’s someone telling you to embrace your body. Then I keep scrolling and someone’s not a miracle supplement. Then someone’s got arms I’d kill to have. And there’s just so much fucking noise.”

You’re crying, can feel the snot falling onto your upper lip. But you don’t care. It’s been eating away at you. An insecurity that’d been bubbling for god knows how long in your life. You’d mostly spent your life trying to understand that a body was just a body, but every so often the defenses crack. A little bit of the vitriol sneaks. It only needs the smallest seeds of doubt to latch onto.

“I-the moment I suggested ice cream I became so disgusted with myself and I didn’t want to say anything because I hate this, I hate feeling like this. But the second you opened that door, I just felt like someone was letting the door open on sludge. I felt like sludge. I feel like sludge.”

“No, no, no, no,” Ashton shushes. “You are not sludge. You have never been sludge.”

You stare up at the garage door, watching the house still in your vision. You’re not sure how long you’ve been home or if you just got there. “I know that. Intellectually. But it feels like it, you know. It just feels like it. You ever just feel like it’s you, but you know it’s just a bad day, a bad mental space. But you just can’t crawl yourself out of it. I know I’m not sludge. I know my body is just doing it’s job. A belly is only supposed to keep organs inside. Arms are there to help you lift and carry and mine do that. Legs are there to carry and get you around, take you A to Z. A brain’s just there to float in god knows what up there and keep your lungs pumping, and your heart beating and to make sure you feel good every once and a while, and I’m doing all that. But then there’s models on my feed who look like they’ve been carved from fucking marble. There’s just a voice in the back of my head telling me I could be better. She’s an incessant and petulant bitch, that voice is. And I just can’t crawl out of it.”

Ashton fills your visions, hands cupping your cheeks as he holds your head in his direction. His lower lip wobbles for a moment and he sighs. You can feel the breath ghosting over your face. “Then let me help dig you out, baby. Just let me help dig you out. If you can’t crawl, then I will dig and dig and go to to the fucking molten core. But I want to get you out.”

“It’s fucked. It's hard work and it’s just me, if you dig. You’re digging only to get me.”

His laughter is soft, head shaking and you don’t get the joke. Not until he speaks. “All I’ve ever wanted was something like you. You just have a belly, okay. It’s just a stomach. It doesn’t have to be anything more and or anything less. And I know you don’t believe the words I’m saying right now. I know they’re not getting through right now. But please believe me, loving you is the hard work I want to do. I was nearly the manager of a fucking KFC if you think for a goddamn second I’m scared of hard work you are mistaken, sweetheart. You are so mistaken.”

“Was KFC harder or easier than me?” you ask. It’s a silly question but it feels like it’s the sledgehammer waiting to drop.

“You are a dream compared to KFC. I just want you to believe me. Okay, just promise me you’ll give it time so you can see. You’ll see.”

You don’t get the chance to ask Ashton to clarify before he’s pushing over the middle console to kiss your forehead. Ashton takes a moment to clear the mess off your face, careful in case you’ve put on any makeup. You can see a couple streaks of mascara and foundation on the tissue after his work, but it looks minimal to you. He peels himself out of his jacket and hands it to you. “Put that one, okay. I’ll be over in a second.”

Maybe you don’t need to ask Ashton what he meant. “I promise,” you return, slipping your arms into the sleeves.

“C’mon, we’ve got the last two episodes to finish. We need to know which couples make it and which ones don’t,” Ashton whispers to you from the open car door.

“Okay.”

You expect that once you’re inside, you’ll change, snuggle up on the couch and polish off your reality TV show. It’s one you started without Ashton and he came home from the studio one day, crawled into your lap and just watched from where you were. He asked a few questions to get up to speed but he got hooked. It’s a ritual--to watch one or two episodes a night together. There’s four seasons so you and Ashton have plenty to watch through together.

But when you get inside, Ashton walks you straight to the bathroom. “Take a seat for me?” You don’t think it was meant to be that much of a question, but you nod anyway and take yourself over to the vanity chair. The bathroom’s got your makeup counter already set up. You pull the chair out and turn it around.

Ashton digs out the step stool kept around to help reach some of the higher shelves and settles it directly across from you. From your vanity, he finds your makeup remover, cotton rounds, and some makeup wipes.

“Do-do you want me to sit there instead?” you ask, pointing to the stool.

“No, you’re good where you are. Where’s your little headband? That keeps your hair out of your face?”

Turning to your right, you pull open a drawer and take out terry cloth item. “I keep it in the drawer so I don’t lose it in the cracks. Someone mentioned to me once they’re tired of digging it out from the corners.”

“Whoever said that is an asshole,” Ashton laughs. It’s soft and short, but still a laugh.

It’s a little awkward, you don’t doubt it as Ashton gets the headband over your head and then up to hold back your hair. But he settles soon after onto the stool, reaching up to the sides of you for the appropriate items.

The first wipe is on your cheek, gentle and soft--so much so you don’t think any makeup could come off with it. “Can I tell you a secret?” Ashton whispers.

“Yeah, yeah you can.”

“I have a nasty voice inside my head too. We all do. Trust me, getting older and seeing that you just don’t have the same body that you used to sucks. Or seeing you don’t have the same body as all the Hollywood actors or influencers. I don’t expect you to. But it’s hard. It’s really hard to not let them in your head. It happens to all of us. Me included.”

“Ashton, you’re built like a Greek God. I’ll fight those nasty voices of yours,” you laugh. “I’m tough enough to go a few rounds.”

You put your fists up in front of your face, bobbing like a boxer in the ring. Ashton laughs. “Yeah? You’d get into the ring for me? Go a few rounds?”

“Absolutely, I would,” you laugh.

“Alright Ali, settle down so I can finish cleaning off this makeup, please. The point is: that voice is in your head and it may not go away. It may pop back up again. But let’s find some ways to make you tough enough to go a few rounds. I’ll dig you out, whatever metaphor you want to use. But let’s-let’s not forget your body’s doing a job. And it’s doing it very well, if I might add. This dress and your body are a killer combination.”

You retreat from his words, cheeks heating with fear. “Ashton, please.”

“I am but a man. Put my girl in front of me and I’m a goner. Sweatpants, fancy heels, doesn’t fucking matter. It’s simple maths,” Ashton laughs. His wipes are firmer, clearing off more and more makeup as he works. “You are beyond gorgeous to me. And I want you to believe that about yourself. Enough that the voice doesn’t win all the time.”

“I want to believe that too. Just feels hard right now.”

“It’s okay if it feels hard right now. I’ll do the heavy lifting for right now, okay?”

You want to believe Ashton. You really do. You’re just not sure what that looks like, what that means. You’re not sure what you need. But you only nod. It’s all you have and you don’t want to insult Ashton’s genuine efforts.

“Admittedly, I am not an expert, but tell me if it’s good enough?”

You don’t even look in the mirror behind you. “It’s good enough. I’ll get the rest when I wash my face.”

“Want to do that while I set up the shower? I’ll make sure it’s extra hot and scalding for you.”

“It just feels better,” you defend.

“Sure, sure, whatever you say as you melt the tiles in the shower.”

You only roll your eyes at the tease but stand and peel yourself out of Ashton’s jacket. “Thank you, by the way, for the jacket,” you call from the bedroom as you slip out of your heels.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

Peeling yourself out of your dress feels a bit like you can breathe better. You don’t feel stuffed and held in by something irritating. The robe is softer, swallows you in the way that you want to fade away. The steam starts faintly when you’re re-entering the bathroom. The vanity is cleaned up and re-organized. Ashton slips through the door beside you, “I’ll be back in just a minute.”

The water is a welcomed respite. It cascades down your skin--just warm enough to your taste. You can only stand for a moment, letting the water hit your body. The knock on the glass door startles you a bit but then Ashton steps up and over into the tub.

“You hate how hot I run the shower,” you note.

“For you, it is worth melting my skin off.” It’s cheesy and you know it, but Ashton says nothing as he grabs your body wash and cloth. It’s not the first time you and Ashton have shared the shower together, or bathed each other. But Ashton’s moves are meticulous. He follows your neck down to your shoulder, your shoulders down to your arms and fingers. He comes back up to your chest as he works, sudsing your body as he goes.

You turn when ask, each time and try not to think about everything you wish were different. It’s only one body and there's only so much time you’ve got. Will you really spend it being upset about your body that’s just doing a job?

Ashton’s careful not to get your hair wet either with his work. And when he’s done, satisfied with his own work, he tips your head up. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Would-would you ever tell me if you had a bad body day?” you ask. You know the focus is on you, but you can’t help the question. Would Ashton try to hide like you did? Was it really productive to bottle all this up anyway?

“It’s not always to admit those. But I think I would. I could tell you about it. I know you’ll listen. You care. I don’t think I couldn’t.”

“Yes, you could. But would you? That’s what I’m asking.”

“Eventually, I would. Maybe not right out at the start.”

“Eventually,” you repeat, chewing over the word. “You’re a stubborn man. I’m not surprised you’d want to do it yourself.”

He laughs, arms winding around your waist and pulling you closer. “And you’re a stubborn woman when you want to be. But that doesn’t stop me.”

“And you being stubborn won’t stop me,” you laugh, window your arms around Ashton too.

“Good, I’m glad.”

The kiss is slow. Not even meant to be more, but you don’t want to crawl out of this warm cocoon you’ve created in this shower. You want to stay in Ashton’s arms for as long as possible. You pull him in closer, and closer. With his body pressed into yours, tasting his mouth, your brain has no space for other thoughts. The only thing you can think about is Ashton--the way he feels, the way his hands press into your flesh.

You’ve never considered yourself to be small, but when Ashton touches you, cups your sex and fingers teasing between your folds, you want nothing more than to shrink. Make yourself small and puddy in his hands. Your head falls back onto the tiles, a satisfied moan leaving your throat. Ashton’s teeth sting at the column of your throat, but he hums when you sigh at the touch.

“Can I show you something?” Ashton asks, lips brushing over your ear.

“Yes,” you huff.

Ashton laughs. “You sound so desperate right now.”

“I might be,” you return. “I just might me.”

“I’ll meet you on the bed in a minute.”

A groan leaves your lips. Your body is buzzing and you don’t want those voices to come back.

“Why can’t you show me here?”

“Because you are not slipping in this shower. I am not taking you to a hospital to explain you hurt yourself trying to have shower sex when we have a perfectly good bed just a few feet from us. Not on my watch ma’am.”

“That would be a little embarrassing,” you concede, climbing out of the shower. You do give Ashton’s ass a tap on the way out. He laughs. “You’re going to regret that,” he calls out.

You don’t doubt for a second you will. You dry off and immediately follow it up with lotion, and then all there is left is to wait, perched on the edge of bed. Your robe’s some comfort, but you can still hear the echo of yourself, I feel like sludge.

“You’re not sludge,” you whisper to yourself.

The water cuts off a moment later, your eyes straining to catch anything else behind it. Not even the door can creak as you’ve left it open but Ashton returns, towel around his waist and his eyes taking you in.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he mutters to himself.

You’re not sludge.

You can crawl into the space that you know is safe. It’s easy, tucked up and into Ashton. It’s so fucking easy. All you want is that little bit of reprieve. It’s all so close.

“Up for me.”

The robe falls from the push Ashton gives to a pool around your feet. There’s not a moment to think about how exposed you are. Ashton closes in, takes you up and lays you down. Lips part and meet, an echoing sound in the silence of the room. All his weight sinks into you and it’s like the noise is on a switch. All you can focus on is the lap of his tongue at the swell of your breast.

The way Ashton hums at the taste of you.

You touch always finds something solid. Each time you cling, Ashton is always there, a hum and encouraging word dripping off his tongue, Look at you. I’ll take care of you. Let me make you feel good.

You can’t possibly say no, wouldn’t dare fathom turning him away when his tongue and fingers are milking everything you’re worth. Your body grows warm as his work, praises in return falling off your tongue too, Yes, right there. I feel so good. You make me feel so good.

There’s only one place for you to go at the end of this and that is over the edge--once and then twice.

Your body is jello but Ashton stays a constant canary in your ear. You’ve always enjoyed vocal partners. Like to know that they’re having a good time too. But this time it’s different. Ashton’s words are careful and weighty. There’s not just You’re beautiful or You feel amazing. He’s praising your strength, the way you keep hanging onto the last threads that he knows in any other situation you would’ve let go of by now, most likely might’ve called it quits. But you keep digging deeper, finding what you can to stay floating.

It’s praise for a job well dog, for being so good for him and god, every word feels like a flame licking your skin. It’s hot, but you crave it. You need to hear that you’re doing a good job, that this body of your is made to take what Ashton gives to it. Maybe it’s more mental than physical at this point too. Maybe it’s just willpower, but whatever it is that keeps you hanging on, you thank it too.

It helps that Ashton knows your body like an instrument and plays it with his eyes closed just as well as he can with his eyes open. It helps that your body always wants him too.

“Ash, Ash, baby, please,” you beg. The edge of your orgasm isn’t far. You can feel the edges of it pulling in closer and closer.

“I will. I’ll get you there. Just keep being good for me. Be a good girl, please.”

You think there’s nothing else for you to be as he’s got your body pinned to the bed, holding your body open by the back of your thighs. Your knees are up to your chest. You can be good. This is a body capable of good things.

There’s no words--not that you can hear when your orgasm crashes over. It’s blinding as you find yourself in a spasm, body not quite under your control as the well placed thrust of Ashton brings about sweet relief.

“You’re okay. You’re okay,” are the words that bring you back earthside.

A tiny hum leaves your throat as you blink back to the bright lights of the room. You nor Ashton had turned them off before starting as it felt silly. But you can take in how damp the sheets feel beneath you for a moment. A warm wet cloth touches between your legs and you wince just a little at the sensitivity.

“I know, baby, I know.” Ashton places a kiss to your forehead before the bed dips again.

Your eyes flutter close and in the silence you catch a door open then close again. You peek open an eye see fresh sheets in Ashton hands. “Did-what happened?”

Ashton grins as he approaches. “Well, we discovered that you can squirt and I was not prepared for that. So, the sheets are soaked.”

You laugh, but there is a hint of embarrassment licking at your cheeks as they warm. “Oh my god. No, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, do not apologize, not in the fucking slightest. But, you may need a second shower. Or a quick wash up. Let’s just say you’ve got a wide wet zone.”

You snort at the tease and finally give into Ashton’s gesture to give him your hands. He helps you up and there’s a distinct dark gray ring on the sheets as you turn to assess the damage. “Oh, that is a lot worse than I was imagining.”

“Oh, hot as hell though. So do not worry.”

“You’re just saying that,” you laugh, collecting some pj’s.

“I, Ashton Irwin, am not just saying anything about learning that my girlfriend can squirt. That was hot as well and I don’t care what I have to clean up. Having that information is fucking gold.”

“Your check’s in the mail. I’ll be back to help in a second.”

“Take your time,” Ashton calls out. But you know you won’t listen. Freshening up yet again, you slip into your pj’s and scurry back to the bedroom. Ashton’s just got the sheets and the mattress pad striped by the time you return.

“It got down to the mattress pad?” you question pulling out the fitted sheet to the fresh set.

“I mean, that is what it’s there for in some right. Seriously, not an issue.”

You’re fighting to say upright if you’re honest--as your body wants nothing more than to collapse into bed, but you refuse to force Ashton to clean this up all on his own. Besides, he never gets the tuck right for the corners. You don’t complain when he does change the sheets as it as a laborious task in and of itself. You just know you have a preference on the way the bed is made.

By the time Ashton returns from the laundry room--sheets now going through a cycle-- he finds you working on the last piece of the flat sheet. The comforter got wet too and is waiting for the moment the washer gets free, so he brings over some of the spare blankets for the time being. “Up, up, up,” he commands, light taps to your ass accompany his chant.

“Ash,” you giggle. “I’m almost done.”

“Nope, up, get in bed. Let me tuck you in and we can cuddle until the washer is done.”

You huff, as you smooth out the last piece and then push up onto the queen sized mattress. It’s plush and holds you without worry as you flop onto your side of the bed. Ashton spreads out the blanket, it’s not terribly wide, but it’s enough for the two of you.

“I have one armpit ready,” he announces once he slips in after you. It’s a joke in response to the time you told him that you could live in his armpit once. In reference to your attraction to him, but Ashton’s refused to let it die in private.

“Hmm, maybe the HOA should do something about these bushes,” you huff, tickling right at his ribs.

“Oh, c’mon. I’m a hairy man and you love it. You cannot deny it.”

You settle into his side. “I’d never change a thing about you.” The kiss to his stomach is easy and you wind an arm over his chest.

“And I wouldn’t change anything about you. Thank you for telling me today about what’s been going on. I appreciate it.”

“Thanks for, like, not freaking out.”

“Now why would I freak out?” Ashton questions. “Hmm? I can’t freak out when I’m in a similar boat sometimes.”

You get it--everyone’s got their own insecurities, their own doubts that creep up. Resting your chin into his sternum, you look up to Ashton, a lazy circle around his chest with your finger tips preoccupies your free hand. “Will you tell me? When you’re having a bad body day or just a bad time, you’ll still tell me, right?”

“I’ll do my best, baby. I’ll tell you. So you can go a few rounds for me in the ring. Promise.”

You tap his side. “You better. Carved from literal mountains, you are so I just gotta make sure you remember.”

“Yeah? Carved from mountains?”

You nod. “They’re strong, rugged, handsome. Keep up, Irwin. Keep up.”

He laughs, squeezes you closer to him. “Well, you got plucked from the heavens and I won’t be returning you.”

“The heavens now?” you arch your brow with the question.

“Yeah, angelic, beautiful, radiant. Keep up.”

“Touché. I’ll give you that one.” It’s an easy round of laughter before Ashton grabs the remote from the bedside table. “If I fall asleep, catch me up,” you inquire as the Netflix app loads.

“You say that like I’m not about to set an alarm to make sure I get the laundry done. We both might have to get caught up.”

You snicker into his chest. “Lord save us both.”

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suchalonelysunflower · 1 year

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The Moment I Knew (You Don't go to Parties) (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood x fem! Reader

Requested? Yes, by my lovely @hoodhoran

Summary: Based on "The moment I knew" by Taylor Swift and a little bit of "You don't go to parties" In the most important day of your life, Calum breaks a promise

Warnings: Angst. Mentions of weed, alcohol. Language. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language im sorry)

Word Count: 5.9k

Author's Note: And an angsty piece to end the year, why not? Remember that REBLOGS are super important as are COMMENTS AND INTERACTIONS. SUPPORT YOUR WRITERS! Hope you like it and happy reading.

my masterlist // taglist in bio!

5 AM (4 hours after)

This is the moment in movies where the guy realizes he fucked up. Where he sits alone in a crowded room, his eyes focused on an empty glass or a fake pot plant that stands in the middle of the coffee table while his friends are celebrating around him. But it’s all blurry and filled with white noise to him.

Then, he would get up from his spot, a newfound hope set in his eyes as he decides it was not over yet and it won’t be over until he stops trying. At that moment he swears he will never stop trying to get her back; to make her love him again and forgive him for all his mistakes.

But Calum couldn’t move.

His mind was racing despite the amount of weed he smoked since he got there. His heart palpitations went along the rhythm of the song that blasted from the speakers. But his fingers were clinging to the couch he was sitting on, feeling every speck of dust that hid under his fingernails. His feet were concreted to the floor, unable to move or follow the directions his brain was practically screaming at them.

The sounds of the party continued to mix in with his thoughts; the fading of laughter and poorly sung songs made an echo through his broken heart. No one dared to look at him, and if they did, they'd chosen to ignore the tears that dried upon his cheeks, blaming it on the weed.

Where would he even go? As far as he knows he doesn’t have a place to stay the night, and he deserved it. He deserved the uncertainty and the fear of what was to come especially after not doing anything about it. And he’s not stupid enough to go to her house again, not after what happened.

So, he just stayed there. Unmoving, and unforgiving toward his own heart.

His friends watched him from afar. Three pairs of eyes filled with empathy and concern set on him and the destructive image surrounding him.

“We can’t call her,” Luke said, looking over at Calum and his disregarded phone on the table “But man, I wish we could do something”

“I mean, we could call her but she’s in her right not to answer any of us” Ashton sighed “It won’t be fair”

“Do we even know what happened?” Michael asked

“Based on what we’ve seen it is not hard to guess. We’re partly to blame as well”

“I just- I have never seen him like this. Or her…”

Michael’s words hung in the air for a while, and mumbles of agreement soon followed. So much had happened that day, but they knew it was not a recent problem, today was just the catalyst of many broken hearts before.

Calum couldn’t see them watching him, he didn’t even know where they were or why they were there with him. All he knows is that his heart is grieving and he can’t understand why - just why?. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn’t he be less selfish? Why is he sitting there without doing anything about it?

Maybe he already knows the answer.

His lips started to tremble as he came undone on the couch. Painful sobs were robbed from his throat, scratching it as they came out muffled into his hands; throwing himself forwards until his elbows hit his knees.

The memories of the past years came running through his tears, wetting the cheeks she used to kiss and the hands she used to hold like her most prized possession. He won’t wake up with her anymore, not a kiss goodbye or a welcoming dinner. All the lazy afternoons and the parties they went together with are now gone and forgotten somewhere in his memory, never to return again.

And it’s all his fault.

“Hey, buddy. C’mon” He heard one of his friends - Michael said - as he felt an arm around his shoulders “Let’s get you home, okay?”

Calum shook his head violently “She’s not there!”

“Cal…”

“Please, call her Ash!” He begged, “I need to see her!”

“Not in the state you are now,” Ashton shook his head “She won’t come, and you know it”

“Bu-but she might! She always comes”

“Not this time,” Michael helped him up and steadied him with a hand on his chest “Let’s go, Cal”

A new wave of sadness shocked him as he tried to hold off the tears. But he knew by looking at his friends’ faces that they were right. She’s not coming, she won’t come back anymore.

“I’m sorry,” He started but crumbled to the sound of his own broken voice “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”

Luke looked over at his friends, knowing that what was to come won’t be easy, but they needed to do it anyway.

“Let’s go home, Cal, okay? There’s nothing else we can do here”

This time, Calum nodded as he let himself be taken away by his friends.

3:30 AM (2 and a half hours after)

“Hey, babe. I know I screwed up and you had every right to do what you did. But please, can we talk about it? When you’re ready, I don’t want to force you. I just- I just really need you to hear me out. Know that I’ve never intended to hurt you, ever. I’m just an asshole and I’m sorry. I truly am-”

“Hey, it’s me again. I know I keep calling and you’re not answering. I deserve it. But I can see you reading my messages and that gives me hope, I guess. I don’t know if you’ll hear this message, but please call me. Or come over here to Martin’s house, it’s the only refuge I could find and I know you don’t like this scene but- I’ll wait for you if you decide to come. I really hope you do and I know I have no right to-”

“Fucking hell these messages! Please come back, baby! Let me explain-”

You didn’t even let yourself listen to the last five messages he left on your voicemail. Hearing his voice while he was clearly high was just another punch to the gut, a reminder of why it was necessary to do what you did. But the hurt of hearing him call you “baby” again, the aching of your heart as it begged you to just give in and take him back… You couldn’t do that to yourself again.

If you had to become heartless, then you would. For your sake and his.

Calum: Please stop ignoring my calls

Calum: Y/N…

Calum: I’m sorry! I said I’m sorry and I’ll continue to say it until the end of time. I’ll never forgive myself for this, please!

Calum: Just give me one last chance

1:30 AM (30 min after)

He was gripping the steering wheel as if it was the only thing grounding him to earth at the moment. He parked a few minutes ago, but he couldn’t find the strength to get out and face the music.

The ride was silent until he reached Martin’s house where the speakers would surely make a neighbor or two to file a complaint. He didn’t want to be there but he had no choice. He couldn’t go back home knowing she won’t be there or even unsure if she’ll ever come back. And all his friends might not want to see him either after knowing what he did. For the first time in years, Calum Hood felt completely and utterly alone.

“Fuck!” He yelled, hitting the steering wheel with all his might, over and over. A string of curses left his mouth with every single blow, only stopping when he stopped feeling the pain.

He needed that. He needed to feel numb again, fall back into the bad habits and forget this night ever happened. If he couldn’t do anything to change it now, he would tune it out.

With newfound motivation and anger settling into his bones, Calum frowned at his image in the rearview mirror and ran his hands through his face. If everyone saw him for his mistakes, then he’ll make sure no one would ever notice his feelings again. And so he jumped out of the car and shut the door with a loud bang before heading toward the party, the only place where he knew everyone, but no one really knew him at all.

“Calum! hey!” Martin said with a big smile the moment he opened the door “What are you doing here? I thought you told me a week ago that you had plans with your girl”

At the simple mention of it, Calum became enraged with embarrassment as he pushed past his friend with a groaned answer and headed toward the kitchen where he knew the good stuff would be.

Martin stood with a confused look on his face, knowing something wasn’t right with Calum. So, he took out his phone and made a call.

“Hey, man. I know it’s late and all, but Cal just came here and he looks rough”

“He’s at your party?!” Ashton’s voice from the other side of the line, concerned but surprised at the same time “Send me your address, and we’ll come to get him”

“Is he alright? What happened?”

A sigh “A lot happened. Just- could you keep an eye on him? Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid till we get there?”

“Sure, dude. No problemo. Did he have a fight with his girl?”

“Worse,” Ashton deadpanned, “I think they are over for good”

1:00 AM

There was tension in the air, everyone could tell but neither of them dared to say a word about it. Maybe they were just pretending for your sake, afraid of what might happen if they brought it up again. It was clear as water that you didn’t want to talk about it.

So they all just pretended everything was okay. You even let yourself be the victim of that charade as you smile tightly at the guests who were already saying their goodbyes and wishing you a happy birthday. You would smile at them and thank them for coming, all without leaving the comfort of your spot on the couch. It was not your intention to be rude, but you didn’t have any energy left.

Your dress was crumbled up under your fingertips as you played with the hem, purposely ignoring the door this time, not like you’d been doing the past hours, knowing that if you looked, you might not be able to help the tears from falling.

“Hey,” You looked up to see Luke standing in front of you, pointing to the spot next to you on the couch. You nodded and he sat “How are you doing?”

A chuckle escaped your lips “You want the truth or the speech?”

“The speech?”

“I got it rehearsed,” You said, biting your lip “Every time someone asks about Calum and why he’s not here, I’ve been using the same speech: “Oh, he’s busy at the studio, you know how it is” or “He just texted me saying he might be late, but I’m sure he’s doing his best to get here” or maybe, “He says hi and he’s sorry he couldn’t make it, something came up and it was unavoidable…” You tell me which one could apply in this situation, lately, you’ve been seeing him more than me”

Luke tried not to look taken aback by your comment, saying it as if it didn’t hurt you at all the fact that he didn’t show up. But he could see it, even if you tried to hide your eyes from his, this wasn’t just a one-time thing. He looked over at Ash who was standing in the corner, asking him with a simple look how you were doing. A look from him was enough for them to know that things were not good at all.

“He said he’d be here…” You whispered, shaking your head and pretending to push your hair back so that people won’t notice the tear that managed to escape “Have you called him? He wasn’t answering my phone and I- I just hope nothing bad happened”

The guilt immediately crept up on you, knowing that you will never forgive yourself if anything happened to Calum and you were just moping over him not showing up to your party.

“We tried, but it just kept on ringing, he might have it on silent. Michael went to his house to see if he was there”

“What if something happened to him?”

“I don’t think-”

But his words got stuck in his mouth as the room suddenly fell silent. Luke’s eyes passed from you over your shoulder, they were opened wide and flickered between you and the door. He opened his mouth to say something, but only a strangled mumble came out, not knowing if he should smile or warn you about it.

You turned around and everything seemed to happen in slow motion. At the door stood Calum, frowning as he looked around the room, unable to find you. You took this opportunity to look at him; he was wearing the same wrinkly shirt he wore yesterday and then threw on the floor of his bedroom; his shoes weren’t matching; his hair was a mess and - by the look of it - he hasn’t showered yet. He looked like he was in a rush, with no effort whatsoever. And, at the moment that he finally found you sitting on the couch, the way his eyes filled with relief as his frown turned into the smile you know so well, the one that claimed “Nothing to see here, we’re alright” At that moment you knew he had forgotten once again.

Calum opened his arms as he walked toward you, smiling widely as he stole the center of attention, singing the “happy birthday” song as he got closer and even managing for some of the confused guests to follow along. But he didn’t manage to catch you, for the moment that he got too close, you stood up and ran in the opposite direction without saying a word.

“Y/N!” You heard him call, even heard some of his friends trying to stop him from following you, but you knew that would be futile.

So you ran to the bathroom again and closed the door before he could come in, locking it from the inside as you pressed your back against the hardwood and slid down to the floor, biting your lip to prevent a sob from escaping.

Soon, you heard a knock on the door.

“Y/N, baby, please open the door” Calum begged with a soft voice through the other side, knocking again “Please, I- I know I messed up, and I’m so so sorry. It won’t happen again and-”

“Thirteen”

“What?”

The door opened suddenly, making Calum take a step back. He noticed immediately the redness of your eyes and the trembling of your lips, and he wished nothing but to be able to take it all back and re-do this whole thing just so that he won’t ever have to see you so hurt again, knowing he was the cause of it.

“This is the thirteenth time you stood me up, Calum. Thirteen!” You cried, holding the handle of the door for dear life “And I was willing to forgive all of those times, Cal. My mother’s birthday, my graduation party, the dates that you didn’t show up, the parties that you know I hated going by myself… All of that I was willing to let go because you said- y- you said you’d be here for me”

You couldn’t hold it back any longer. The tears just came streaming down your face, shaking your body with unshed sobs that you refused to ever let him hear. He tried to come closer, to hold you and show you some kind of comfort, but you wouldn’t let him. No, instead you took a step back, watching the hurt in his eyes as if he didn’t deserve it.

“You told me you’d be here today”

“I tried-” But you didn’t let him finish

“Where were you? Why are you showing up late when my birthday is already over and wearing the same clothes as yesterday? What could you have possibly been doing that you just had to miss my birthday?”

Calum opened his mouth but nothing came out. Telling you the truth would be just as bad as lying, he had no excuse, no reason to have done what he did knowing how much it meant to you to be there with him. So, he did the only thing that he could think of and he started to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” He said, you rolled your eyes and started to close the door again but he stopped it with his foot “Baby, please! I really am sorry I- I had no idea you felt like that”

“Because the moment I say something about it you always come up with the same excuse to make me look like the bad guy!” You shouted “Every time I ever mention wanting you there with me you say “You know how busy I am” or some other bullshit like that. And I get it, Cal, I swear I do and it kills me every time because I feel like me complaining about it makes you feel like shit because you love what you do and I love it as well. But fuck! I’m so tired of being just an afterthought to you!”

“Y/N…”

“Don’t tell me I’m not, Calum. I” you sighed, “I know that your career is important. I have never complained about how much time you spend in the studio, or when you have to cover one of the guys’ parts, or when you’re on tour god knows where - But I’m just so, so tired of being second best in your life. And if that’s all I’m going to be then, why bother?”

Calum took a step back, blinking at your words to make sure he hadn’t imagined them. But the look on your face was serious, even when you lowered your gaze to avoid looking directly at him.

“You’re not serious,” Calum said, voice hoarse and broken “Y/N, I know you’re not serious”

He walked up to you, placing his fingers under your chin to make you look at him.

“Baby, I know I fucked up. I know I failed you and you have no idea how much I regret it”

“I just asked for one night,”

“I know, I know, baby” He pleaded, trying so hard not to break “And I’m an asshole who couldn’t keep his promise. But it’s the last time, I swear! I love you, I love you so so much-”

“Then why weren’t you here?” You looked up at him, eyes filled with tears, and you pushed yourself away “You should’ve been here, bursting through the door at least an hour ago. Even five minutes before. I would’ve been so happy to just have you here for a moment knowing that’s all I could get. You mean the world to me, Cal… But I can’t keep letting myself down for someone whose world is so big but without any space left for me”

Calum shook his head “Y/N, that’s not true! You know how much you mean to me!”

“I don’t. And that’s the problem, Cal. But the worst part is that maybe you don’t even know it, you just think you do”

“Y/N-”

He pleaded one last time, and in his eyes, you could tell that he was being sincere. But honesty couldn’t erase tonight, it couldn’t get rid of the pain of the eternal waiting. You meant every word you said, and it was time to put yourself first.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make it,” He said, voice shaking in regret “But-”

“I’m sorry, too” You sighed, letting the tears run down gracefully “Goodbye, Cal”

“Baby, no wait!” He yelled one last time before he felt the wind hit his face and heard the door slam in front of him “Fuck! Y/N, open the door!

He started banging on the door again, calling out your name along with some apologies and pleas to hear him out. Soon, a hand was on his shoulder, pulling him back.

“Okay, Cal. That’s enough!” Ash said, sternly, pulling him close to a hug as he whispered in his ear “Walk away, mate. Now’s not the time”

Calum pushed him away, ready to have a few words with him when he noticed the crowd that had gathered around them. He looked at the faces he’d known all his life since he started dating you. All the harsh stares and the sympathetic smiles. It was all too much.

“Fuck all of you,” He grumbled, storming off the party soon after.

00:45 AM (15 min before)

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!”

The loud voice startled him, the room was spinning as he opened his eyes and it took a while before he could focus on Michael’s angry face staring down at him.

“You’ve done some pretty fucked-up shit, but this might have the worse consequences”

Calum ran a hand through his face “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be? For god’s sake, we were worried sick about you! You have no limit, Calum. Honestly, this is a new low”

“The fuck? Why would-” He groaned, sitting up on his bed “What are you doing in my house? Did Y/N let you in or-?”

Michael lost his patience as he threw him a shirt he found on the floor, hitting Calum right in the face.

“Get dressed for fuck’s sake! I’ll wait for you for five minutes in the car. If you’re not ready then I’ll drive off and tell Y/N you were found dead in a ditch somewhere”

Calum was left alone in his room once again. He looked around to see if anything changed or if maybe Michael was pranking him in some way. He shook his head as he grabbed his phone and put it back in sound mode.

Instantly, thousands and thousands of messages and calls came through like an avalanche. The clock said it was past midnight and his last notification was from just a few minutes ago.

Y/N: Hey! Everyone is already here, are you coming soon?

Ash: What are you wearing to the party?

Ash: Nvm Luke’s already there and said I look great

Y/N: Luke and Michael told me you had a busy day in the studio, I saved you the best beer in the house for you to relax and tell me all about it.

Mike: Dude, you coming?

Y/N: Cal, where are you? Do you need someone to pick you up?

Luke: Mate, your girl is getting worried.

Mike: Is everything okay? Y/N just went to the bathroom and I think she was crying

Y/N: Cal, I’m getting worried, please answer our calls!

Ash: THOMAS! ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE

Luke: Cal, this isn’t funny. We are really worried.

Luke: Don’t do this to her on her birthday.

Y/N: Please tell me you didn’t forget.

Ash: sent a video

Ash: They already sang happy birthday. Thought you might want to see that.

Y/N: You forgot again, didn’t you?

11:55 PM (1 hour and five minutes before)

No one has come through the door for the past hours. Every single person that you invited was already there, laughing and mingling through the crowd. But you? You were sitting on the couch with your head turned to the door, watching, waiting…

He said he’d come and you believed him, maybe you shouldn’t have? No, he said he’d be here! You reminded him this morning, and he sounded excited about tonight as well. There’s no way he’d forget.

But hours had passed and the messages you left were still delivered and never read. The drink you were nursing in your hand was already warm as you peeled off the sticker. People passed you by, asking how you were and if Calum was coming soon.

Although, they stopped asking about that about an hour ago.

“Honey?” Your best friend called you from the living room “We’re all ready here for you”

“In a minute!” You called back, looking at the door and calling Calum again.

Voicemail

“Cal, where are you? Is everything okay? If there’s something wrong just tell me, I promise I won’t be upset, I just need to know that you’re okay. That’s all I need to hear. Please, call me”

“Still no answer?” You jumped at Ashton’s voice next to you, you shook your head.

“He said he’d be here…”

“Maybe he stayed in the studio” Ash tried, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck "I- we kind of forced him to stay back so we could meet the deadline and-"

You shook your head “But he must've been done by now. He said he’d be done by the time the party started, he was just going to shower and-” You sniffled, trying to hide it with a cough “I’m just so worried, Ash”

Ashton gave you a small smile, his arm rounding your shoulders hugging you. You appreciate his effort, you really did, but your heart was still beating at an uneasy pace, not being able to shake that awful feeling.

“Don’t let this get you down,” Ashton said after a while “You are the most important person here”

You gave him a tight smile as you let out a deep breath.

“Apparently not that important to someone who didn’t bother to show”

“Y/N, that's not-”

You glanced at the clock, one minute for your birthday to be over. It was too late.

“It’s okay, I should’ve known”

You got up from the couch and started walking toward the living room where all your friends were waiting around the table. A fake smile was plastered on your face as they sang to you, all of them pretending that the tears that gathered in your eyes were of happiness rather than disappointment. All an act.

This time you didn’t even bother to make a wish as you blew out the candles.

9:00 PM (4 hours before)

The party was just getting started but it was already booming. The life the people you love most brought to your house was energizing and magnetic, something you didn’t know was lacking until you had it in front of you.

Friends and family you haven’t seen in a while came bursting through the doors with big smiles and gifts, ready to give you a hug as they congratulated you and showered you with compliments. You would laugh along with them and make them feel welcome, showing them where the drinks and food were and introducing them to people they haven’t met.

Everything was going as smoothly as you would hope, and you dared to think that maybe this wasn’t the complete disaster you thought it would be.

It was the first party you organized all by yourself. You were never keen on celebrating your birthday every year, having shared with your closest friends the bad times you’ve lived through when you were younger and how people often just didn’t bother to show up or remember you that day.

It was Calum the one that suggested celebrating your birthday that year, knowing it was an important one. For all the time you were together, you used to spend this date doing something casual; sometimes dinner with friends or just a quiet night in with your boyfriend. But somehow he managed to convince you to bring the party to life.

“I’m not good at parties” You reminded him a few weeks ago when he first brought the subject up “I don’t really like them and I never know how to act on them”

“It’s not an act, babe,” He said, placing a kiss on your cheek and tickling your sides “It’s just you having the best time you can with the people that love you. And I promise you so, so many people want to celebrate you, just give it a chance”

And you had no problem admitting he was right this time, as you walked through the halls of your home with a drink in hand and enjoyed reconnecting with old friends.

“Hey, birthday girl! Where’s Calum?” One of them asked.

“He’s on his way,” You laughed, “He had to drop by the studio early today so he might come a little later”

“I haven’t seen Cal in a while,” Another one said a few minutes later “Where is he?”

“On his way,” You smiled, looking over at the clock and then at the door “He was just going to shower before he came”

You stopped counting how many people asked for Calum and his whereabouts after the first hour or so of the party. It did bring up some questions to yourself, but you just pushed them back and sent him a text to ask if he was okay. You were sure he’d be here any minute now, after all, he did promise.

A few minutes later, Luke, Michael, and Ash arrived with their dates. They went over to you immediately as they showered you with gifts and hugs, wishing you a happy birthday.

You laughed as you thanked them, holding the gifts close to your heart as you looked around them.

“Where’s Cal?” You asked, noticing their confused faces about the question.

“Oh, he’s not here yet?” Luke asked, looking over at his friends.

“He did say he was going to head home and shower before he could come”

“Bah, that’s probably where he is” Michael dismissed it with a wave of his hand “The idiot wanted to stay a little longer recording some vocals but he surely wrapped that quickly. Don’t worry about it”

So you didn’t, at least not for the most part, not yet. People were here to celebrate you, so you would enjoy it as much as you could. Calum could tell you all about it later.

7:00 PM (6 hours before)

God Dammit he was tired.

It was a long fucking day, alright. He left the house earlier than usual that day to try and fit in his morning run and then get some groceries before heading toward the studio; then he was met with the news that they were actually behind on some vocals - mainly his - and that the deadline was coming sooner rather than later. So he had to stay behind for a couple of hours just so that he could be free from work already. Afterward, he tried to pick up some food for you to eat back at his house, but the drive-through was closed and he didn’t have the patience to wait around or drive somewhere else, so he figured he’d just cook a simple pasta once he’s home.

The lights at his house were off, strange because you were usually there after work, waiting for him to get back so that you could have a night in. But he just shrugged it off, thinking that maybe you were out somewhere doing some errands before you’ll be back.

“What a day, huh?” He groaned, speaking to Duke who was pleasantly sleeping on his bed at the feet of the couch “Yeah, that seems like a good idea”

He went up the stairs and got rid of his clothes before throwing them into the hamper. Ignoring the flowers that stood gorgeously on a vase next to his bed. He turned down the lights and charged his phone, not before putting it on silent so that it wouldn’t bother him for at least a few hours before you got back.

Then, he jumped into bed and fell asleep rather quickly, finally relaxing his body after a long day. Not even realizing the date or remembering he had somewhere else to be.

7:00 AM (18 hours before)

A thousand kisses woke you up, tickling your cheeks as giggled good morning. You turned around, back laying softly over the mattress as you welcomed the embrace of your boyfriend and his good morning kiss.

“Yuck,” You said after he pulled away to caress your cheek

Calum pouted “You used to love my morning breath,”

“I have never told you such a damn lie” You laughed, pushing him away just enough so that you could sit down “Good morning, baby”

You looked at him with stars in your eyes, appreciating every corner, every spot, every mole on his face as you reminded yourself of the absolute love you have for him.

Calum also seemed caught up in the moment, just looking at you and smiling as if you hung the world for him. Which reminded him…

“Here,” He said, giving you the bouquet of flowers he hid behind his back, smiling widely when he saw the happiness in your eyes “Happy birthday, sweetheart”

“Oh,” Your insides melted at the gesture, pulling the flowers aside before you jumped on him with a hug, nuzzling your head into his neck “Thank you, Cal. I love them”

“And I love you,”

He started kissing your hair and then your temple and your cheek. He caressed your face and turned it so that your lips could meet in a needy, loving kiss that had you moaning a sigh, giving yourself completely to him.

Calum chuckled, pulling himself away from you and kissing away your pour “Sorry, doll. But I gotta get going”

“It’s still too early!”

“I know, but the guys called and they need me in the studio ASAP” He sighed, rubbing his hands along your arm “I promise I’ll make it up to you”

You sighed as you nodded, letting go of him with a faux frown, mumbling something along the lines of “the guys this, the guys that…”

Calum rolled his eyes fondly before his fingers tickled your sides without mercy, making you squeak in laughter and shock as you tried to get away from him.

“What was that?” He asked, tickling you under the arms

“Nothing! No- ouch! Nothing!” You laughed

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” He said, placing one last kiss on your forehead before he got up from the bed.

You breathed in again, holding in more laughter as you sat up again.

“You’re coming tonight, right?”

Calum smiled “As if I could ever miss it”

“Cal, I’m serious. I know you’ve been busy lately and if you can’t make it… then it’s okay but at least let me know first, okay?”

“I won’t! I promise you, Y/N. I will be there no matter what. I’ll just come here first and grab a shower before” He leaned down to kiss you one last time “I’ll be there this time, I promise”

You looked up at him, smiling kindly “I love you,”

“I love you more, baby. Happy birthday”

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