#5. The cake I made for my grandpas birthday was a hit!! He really liked it and so did everyone else who tried it

[sodacowboy]

anyway I’m gonna list some good things that have happened to me/in my life in the tags

[onmykneesforhotdilfs]

Oooh i'm gonna with #3 please! And Valtor as a bartender.

He truly loathed his job.

The disgusting smell of cheap drinks spilled on the bar mixed with the stench of sweat and cheap perfume, from grinding bodies on the dancefloor and humping barely-legals in the corner, made him nauseous. The music was loud to the point his heartbeat developed arrhythmia whenever a bass boosted song played through the obnoxious sound system. To make matters worse, one of the speakers was set directly above the bar and Valtor was sick of buying earplugs every week, because if he didn’t use any protection, he’s pretty sure he would go deaf before he hit 40 and he once again cursed himself for forgetting them at home.

A particularly high note came on, and the crowd cheered while Valtor cringed as he felt the microscopic hairs in his ears, sensitive to high notes, shrivel up and die. He rolled his eyes as he spotted a tall blonde dragging taller brunette towards the restroom. Apparently, couples basically dry humping each other on the dancefloor and sucking their faces off in the corners wasn’t enough, so universe also decided to throw in a couple about to commit an indecent act in a public bathroom?

He was just about to call one of the bouncers when it hit him – he doesn’t care. Oh well. What can you do?

A woman, wearing something Valtor could only describe as lingerie, came to the bar and ordered a fruity cocktail and for the umpteenth time, he wondered how his life turned into this? How did he go from graduating on a prestigious college, having a stable job and a fiancée, to wiping down spit from the counter top on a Saturday night.

He used to be a successful attorney, his yearly salary reaching up to five-zero figure, a stable relationships, loving girlfriend and more, and yet, all of that collapsed under the enormous weight couple of words held.

His hands worked on autopilot, mixing the necessary drinks while his thoughts were miles away.

Now, whatever’s left of his past life lives in a small condo across the town and Valtor chuckled at the irony of life giving him lemons while he chopped one to mix it into the cocktail. He squeezed the juice out of the poor fruit, with probably more force than was necessary, getting some of it on his shirt in the process.

“What are you chuckling about?” The woman was leaning over the counter, her chest basically spilling out of her dress as she played with the ends of her dark hair.

Valtor raised an eyebrow as he bent down to retrieve one of the decorative umbrellas. “Nothing that would be of interest to you.” He saw her flinch in surprise at the rather sharp tone he unintentionally used. “Miss.” He added as an afterthought, hoping it would make him look less abrasive. Unhappy customers don’t tip well after all.

“Oh. Well maybe it does interest me. You’ll never know unless you try.” The woman smiled flirtatiously while her fingers continued twirling the strands of her hair. “I’m Mitzi, by the way.” She offered her hand to him.

Valtor only quirked an unamused eyebrow. “I don’t remember asking for your name.” The smile was quick to disappear from her face and she snatched her hand back like it’s been burned.

He closed his eyes as his tongue, once again, proved to be faster than his brain. It’s what got him into trouble a lot of times and this one might’ve just taken a cake because if the girl went to complain to his boss, he’d be in a world of shit. “I was trying to be nice, but it seems to me you’re too much of an asshole to appreciate it.” Mitzi gritted out with obvious false confidence because a fierce blush was very much present on her face. This obviously didn’t happen to her a lot.

First time for everything, Valtor thought.

“What I would really appreciate, Mitzi,” Don’t do it, “is if you could stop your 36C's, that you stuffed into a 34B bra, from spilling all over my counter.” You absolute moron! “I have to wipe it.”

Now you’ve done it.

Mitzi turned even reader, and Valtor wondered if he should start dialing an ambulance just in case, but she only snatched the drink he placed in front of her and threw a 5$ bill in his face. “Jerk!” And just like that, she was gone.

“Have a nice evening!” Drop dead.

He rolled his eyes and took a glass that needed wiping just to occupy his hands for a minute because he felt like a coiled string, just about to snap and burn everything in its path.

“I have to say,” girl’s voice reached him, “you just fixed my evening.” Valtor lowered the glass to the solid surface and turned to face the owner.

His brain short circuited.

Though her body was mostly obstructed by the counter, he could see that the navy blue slip dress she wore draped beautifully across her slender figure. She was also incredibly short that even standing up straight, in what Valtor assumed were ridiculously high heels, she was at least head and a half shorten than him. But the most obvious, and striking thing about her, was her red hair. Valtor never even thought that hair could be as vibrant as hers.

In his almost 35 years of life, Valtor has never seen someone as interesting as the girl standing in front of him.

When he finally shook himself out of his stupor, and when it became painfully obvious he was making her uncomfortable with his gawking (really, there was no other word for it), he smiled and spoke. “Well, I’m pleased to hear that because it will undoubtedly ruin my life.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about her reporting you.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Her ego is too big for her to accept she just got rejected.”

“You know her?”

There was something nostalgic in her smile. “I used to know her… or maybe I just thought I know her.”

Valtor observed the unusual girl in front of him. In his several years as a bartender and even before, he developed quite a knack for reading people. She seemed, to him at least, like one of those lost souls that recently had their world turned upside down but tried despite to appear normal. You and me both. “Would you like something to drink?”

Her head snapped up and her electric blue eyes met his. “Oh! Yes, um,” she fidgeted slightly, her hands wringing together and picking at her nails, “anything with vodka.”

He nodded and turned his back on her to find a bottle of the best vodka the club had to offer. He didn’t know why he suddenly paid so much attention to what he’s mixing into drinks but something pulled him towards this girl like gravity and he was too weak to resist it. “Straight?” He asked without turning around.

“Ummm, that’s a bit personal don’t you think? I mean, I just met you.” Valtor stopped what he was doing and turned his head so she could see the confused frown on his face. “I don’t even know your name. As far as I know you could be a serial killer.”

It downed on Valtor what she was talking about and he chuckled at her adorable rant. “I meant the Vodka.”

Her lips shaped into a silent “O" and he saw how her neck and face turned red from embarrassed. She moaned and buried her face into her hands. “Oh God, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He picked the bottle and turned back around so he was facing her. He extended his unoccupied hand across the counter top. “I’m Valtor.”

She shook his hand, her hand incredibly small in his huge one, blush still present on her cheeks. “Bloom. And yes, straight vodka is fine.”

“I’ve only seen Russians drink vodka by itself.”

“I’m quarter Russian. My mom’s dad is from Russia.” Valtor nodded along as he fixed her a drink.

“Impressive.”

“it’s really not. It only made me the laughing stock of the entire class.” She took the glass filled with clear liquid, their fingers brushing together on accident, and Valtor felt a spark rushing up his nerve endings. “But, I can drink most people under the table so I guess I should be grateful.”

Humor was obviously one of the things she used to deflect the pain and trauma bullying inevitably caused. “Your hair is very… unusual. Natural?”

She nodded. “Yup. This is one of the things I inherited from grandpa.”

“Sorry if that made you uncomfortable, it wasn’t my intention.”

“No no, don’t worry.” Her lips wrapped around the edge of the glass as she took a sip and closed her eyes to savor the feeling of burning liquid sliding down her throat. “It’s actually one of the nicest things someone has said to me about my hair.”

Valtor looked at her with a small smirk on his face. “That bad, huh?”

“You don’t want to know.” Bloom tilted the glass and took a large swing of the drink, only a small amount remaining at the bottom. “What about you?”

Valtor shrugged. “What about me?”

“You have an unusual hair too.”

Indeed. His long strawberry blond hair was tied in a ponytail, but unlike herself, he loved his hair and didn’t particularly give a damn what anybody else thought about it. “I don’t really care about somebody else’s opinion and neither should you.”

“I’ve stopped that long time ago.” Valtor nodded towards her almost empty glass and she slid it towards him for a refill. “But you know, scars remain.”

He nodded. “That I do know.” Valtor saw another guy coming up to the bar so he excused himself. As soon as he moved away from her, the unpleasant sensations that accompany prolonged presence in a loud room came rushing back like a rogue train and Valtor felt the onsets of a headache forming. He served the guy and returned to Bloom who was now nursing her drink instead of knocking it back like the first time.

“So what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

She quirked one eyebrow. “A girl like me?”

“Not to be rude, but this doesn’t seem like your cup of tea.”

She laughed. “It’s my friend’s birthday. She dragged me here against my will while promising she’ll stay with me the entire time. It took me turning around for her to vanish without a trace with her boyfriend.”

“That friend of yours,” he started, “wouldn’t happen to be a tall blonde dragging a brunette with her?”

“That’s her.”

Valtor made a face. “I don’t think you’ll be seeing a lot of her tonight.” His eyes slid to the direction of the restroom.

Bloom followed his gaze and she groaned when she saw where her friend went to. “Not this again.”

“Again? This happens a lot?”

“Unfortunately, it happens more than I would like to.” She rubbed her forehead.

“Right,” he drawled, “because who doesn’t like seeing their friends going at it.” Sarcasm was dripping from his words.

“How long have they been in there?” She asked while looking at her wrist watch.

“Fifteen minutes or so.”

“Damn animals. I’m never coming to the club with her again.”

An amused chuckle escaped him. “That’s not the first time you’ve said that, am I right?”

She smiled and took a sip of vodka. “Nope.”

Just as he opened his mouth to ask her another question, her blonde friend wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Valtor’s eyebrow did a backflip. How she managed to avoid detection while leaving the bathroom was beyond him.

“Damn Bloom, I leave you alone for five minutes and you’re already seducing hot bartenders!”

“Stella! First of all, I am not seducing anybody,” Maybe not intentionally, “secondly, it’s been almost twenty minutes and thirdly, what happened to your promise of not ditching me? And the moment I turn around, you’re already gone?”

Stella, if Valtor heeard correctly, giggled. “Oh live a little Bloom. Besides, it’s not like you were in a bad company.” Her eyes ran over Valtor’s form. “In fact, I wouldn’t mind taking a bite out of that.” She ogled Valtor like a piece of chocolate cake.

“I’m standing right here.”

“Okay, that’s enough for today! We’re going home.” Bloom grabbed her purse and was about to pull out her wallet when Valtor raised his arm to stop her.

“It’s on the house.”

“But Blooooom,” There was really no words to describe the sound that exited blonde’s mouth, “we just got here.”

“The fact that you're talking about having a threesome with a stranger says enough about your state.”

“I’m pretty sure Brandon wouldn’t mind.”

“Okay, time out. Let’s go.” She turned towards Valtor, a small card between her fingers. She leaned over the counter while one of her arms stayed behind, supporting her friend. “Thank you.” She slipped the card into his hand. “Call me if you wanna talk sometimes.” And with that, she spun on her heel and dragged Stella towards the exit.

Valtor stood in shock, not knowing how to react for a few minutes, staring at the business card in his hands.

Bloom Peters MD.

He shook his head, hand safely pocketing the precious cargo before he picked up the glass she’s been drinking from and turning around to wash it. The sound of retching caused him to turn around in time to see some wasted man empty the content of his stomach on an obnoxious red carpet. The stench of vomit mixed with other delightful aromas and Valtor was once again reminded how much he hated his job.

[fangirlinsweden]

Nexus part 5

Part 5:  The Truth and Apologizing

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Secrets, talk about death and loss (think that is all)

Word Count: About 3200 words

Summary:  Y/N is a pain in the ass according to Steve. She is brought on to missions sometimes by Fury when they need help, but she is wild and does not listen to orders. She does what she wants. Now Fury has given her a place in the Avengers. And Steve is not liking it. Having to deal with her every day. He hates her. Or does he? And what is Y/N relationship with Bucky? They seem to get closer and closer.

A/N: This takes place after Avengers: Endgame, but Steve never left. Tony and Nat are still alive.

This is written for Gab’s @buckysmischief Birthday Challenge. My prompt is: “Did you bring us here to die?” “Obviously.” “I really can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”

English is not my native language and I am doing the best I can when it comes to writing.

“I see you,” Steve smirked. “And the way you are acting with Bucky. If you think Hydra will get their Winter Soldier back you are wrong. Bucky is never ever going back to Hydra” You fisted your hands.  “You are not even going to listen to me explain this?” you growled already knowing the answer. “Why listen to more of your lies?” Steve looks you up and down. “I know that you lived across from me in Brooklyn to get close to me, but that backfired when I thought you were spying on me for S.H.I.E.L.D. when you, in fact, were spying for HYDRA. Then you lost Bucky and you had to find a way to get close to him.” You are so mad at that point that you almost hit him. But the sentence where he thought you were spying on him explains why he started avoiding you all those years before. “Joining the team is the perfect cover to get close to Bucky. And now that the two of you are together you think that flirting with me would make me blind to what you are doing.” Steve gives you one final look before he storms out. Apparently finding pictures has been enough proof that Steve needed it. His mind was set and there was nothing you could do at this point. When you walk over to your box you see that Steve had taken two of your favorite photos with him. You want to run after him and get the photos back, but all your energy drains and you end up sitting on the floor. A tear runs down your face and drops down on your hand with your grandmother's ring. It hurt that a man you had seen as a hero your entire childhood up until now thought you were Hydra. At least Bucky knew the truth and deep inside you hoped that that would be enough. To get back from eating breakfast and finding Steve looking through your private things had not been who you had thought this day would be. Apparently yesterday's mission scared Bucky, so he wanted to come clean about the two of you to the entire team. He just wanted to tell Steve first, in private. Bucky had probably been looking for Steve while Steve was looking through your photos. Looking around your room, you did no longer feel at home. You feel violated. Maybe you should move back to your apartment? A picture of your grandmother and grandfather in Central Park caught your eye. You picked it up and knew exactly what to do. After packing up all the pictures and letters Steve had tossed out you closed the lid of the box and walked out of your room. 

One hour later you walked over to the two gravestones that were put up for the four most important people in your life.  “Hello Mom and Dad you said to the gravestone on the left that read:

‘Mary Williamson Y/L/N  Born July 9, 1955 Died November 8, 2004  “A life of beauty and service”

‘James Steven Y/L/N  Born April 4, 1952 Died August 29, 2007  “Brave in spirit, Strong in love”’

“Hello Grandpa and Grandma” you said to the gravestone to the right that read:

‘Lewis Y/L/N  Born May 4, 1920 Died February 5, 2008.  "If I could do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing."’

‘Rebecca “Becca” Barnes Y/L/N  Born September 21, 1922 Died January 10, 2011  "I hate to leave you all behind, but we'll meet again one day."’

You sat down in front of the two graves and felt a kind of peace.  “It all went to hell and I don’t know what to do,” you whisper and feel the tears in your eyes. “I miss you more than you will ever know.” And then you let it all out. 

At the compound Steve had gone to his room for a while before talking to Bucky. Seeing Y/N’s face when he told her he knew she was a member Hydra had put some doubt in his mind, but at the same time there could be no other truth. She had to be Hydra. After a few minutes of peace he went to find Bucky, still holding two of Y/N pictures. Eventually he finds Bucky in the Gym working out. Bucky is spotting Sam who is lifting weights. “Hey, I was looking for you before,” Bucky started to say and was planing on continuing, but something about the look on Steve’s face stopped him. “We need to talk,” Steve says with his arms crossed over his chest and a face that showed no emotions.  “So talk,” Bucky says and looked at Sam. “Not here,” Steve tries.  “Why not?” Sam wonders looking at Steve. “We need to talk about Y/N” Steve is still holding the pictures behind his back. “Whatever you have to say about her you can say here,” Bucky insists and Steve groans. He feels himself get riled up and there is no way to contain the words that he needs to get out. “Y/N is Hydra,” Steve almost yells. There are several bangs around the gym and Sam stands up and crosses his arms. Bucky’s eyes are big. “What did you say?” Sam glares at Steve. “She is Hydra,” Steve gets out again, a bit lower this time. “I have proof.” He hands Bucky the photo’s. Sam pears over at the photos and just shakes his head. “She is not HYDRA,” Bucky roars and Steve takes a step back. He makes a gesture to the pictures in Bucky’s hand. “Your absolute idiot,” Sam shakes his head at Steve. Nat, Wanda, Clint and Tony are walking towards them in the gym looking everything but happy. Steve swallows. “Y/N is my family,” Bucky shoves Steve.  “Just because she has lured you into falling in love with her does..” Steve is interrupted by Nat slapping him in the face. Bucky is read in the face. “I am not in love with Y/N. She is Becca’s granddaughter,” Bucky yells. Steve feels all blood leave his face. What had he done? And why had he not seen that. That explains so many things. Not all, but so much. Bucky drops the photos on the floor and moves towards Steve. “What did you do?” Bucky is standing nose to nose with Steve. The rest is surrounding him.  “And how did you get these photos?” Nat wonders as she picks them up. Steve swallows. “I saw the wooden box in her room and opened it,” Steve whispers. “She found me looking through them and I told her what I thought about her.” Bucky pushes Steve away from him and runs out of the gym. Steve looked after him. “You are an asshole,” Wanda shakes her head. “I could hit you again,” Nat’s eyes are almost black now. Clint has his hand on her shoulder and it is like that is the only thing that is keeping her from hurting him. “You should have come to me,” Tony sighs. “I have known who she is the entire time.” “Then why did you not say anything?” Steve demanded to know. “Because it was her secret,” Tony crossed his arms over his chest. “It is her life and she has to decide when she was ready to share it.” “Exactly,” Sam agrees. “Wait, how many of you knew the truth,” Steve looked at his teammates. “Only Nat and Tony. But the rest of us had our guesses,” Wanda looked at the other who nodded.  “So nobody more than me thought Bucky and Y/N were in a relationship,” Steve was starting to feel more and more bad. “Or that she could be Hydra.” “Nope,” Sam answered. “And you do know that she is friends with about every hero in at least 1000 miles radius?” “Mmmhh,” Steve mutters. That was not something that was on his mind right now. He needed to talk with Bucky and apologize to Y/N. He scratched his neck. “You do realise that most of those people will want to kick you ass when they find out about this,” Sam smirks. Steve swallows and looks around.  “Shit,” He crocs out.   Tony nods and walks away. Nat and Wanda walk away as well, but not before Nat give’s Steve one more of her killer stares. Steve looked at Sam. He had no idea how he would solve things or if he even could solve it. 

You hear someone coming up behind you. It puts you on alert until you hear his voice. “Y/N,” Bucky almost whispers.  “Hey, Bucky,” you turn around and look at him. “You remembered.” Bucky sat down beside you looking at the grave of his sister and her husband and the grave of his nephew with his wife. You had told Bucky that you went to the cemetery when you needed someone to talk to. Even if you were just talking and never got answered it was as you had your parents and grandparents there beside you. “Yeah,” Bucky scratched his neck. “I should have brought flowers.”  “Next time,” you leaned your head against his shoulder. Bucky clears his throat. You knew what was coming next. “Steve..” Bucky started but you lifted a hand. “I know what he told you,” You whispered and felt the tears threatening to start falling again. “I don’t want to talk about it.” “I set him straight,” Bucky put his arm around your shoulder. “I still can’t believe my best friend would think something like that.” “Bucky, I really don’t want to talk about this,” You sigh and play with your grandmother's ring. “Sweetheart, we need to talk about it,” Bucky kissed your forehead.  “No, we really do not,” you say firmly. “This is my fault,” Bucky sigh. “No, it’s not. This is Steve’s fault,” You stand up and start pacing. “He could just have asked, not accused. He has been treating me like shit for years now. Just because he had made some assumptions and never got them checked out. This is just the icing on the cake.” Bucky looked up at you and let you rant. Then he tilted his head. “You have feelings for him,” Bucky blurted out. That made you stop and look down at the ground. Not really knowing what to say. “No comment,” was all you could come up with and it made Bucky cuckle.  “Sweetheart,” Bucky stood up and took a hold of your left hand. “I understand if all of this makes you want to stop being an Avenger.” “Stop being an Avenger,” you snort. “No chance in hell will Steve’s behaviour make me want to stop that. I am stronger, smarter and wiser than letting a man chase me away from my life.” Bucky nods and smiles.  “Atta girl,” Bucky pulled you close and hugged you. “Let’s get back to the compound.” You nodded, closed the lid on your wooden box and lifted it. Bucky nodded towards the box and when you nodded he took it under one arm and he put the other arm around you.  “Where is your car?” Bucky wondered. “I got a ride from a friend, so no car,” you said and Bucky lifted a brow. You smiled at him, but did not elaborate.  “Then you can ride back with me,” Bucky concluded and walked over to black BMW. A car you know that Tony owned. You hoped into the front seat and Bucky secured your wooden box in the back seat, before he took the driver seat. “I know you don’t want to talk about it,” Bucky admitted. “But you know that you will have to face Steve at some point.” You sink a bit further down your seat.  “I know,” you sighed. “But I will deal with it.” “Good,” Bucky reached over and took your hand. “Just know I am on your side in this.” That made you smile, then frown. “Whatever he did,” you sit up a bit straighter when the compound came into view. “He is still  your best friend and like a brother to you. I don’t want to do anything to destroy that.” Bucky looked down at your hands for a quick look. “What he did and said to you is not easily forgiven,” Bucky sighed. “Even if I know I will forgive him eventually, does not mean you are less important to me. You are still my family and I want you in my life.” This brings tears to your eyes. Bucky saw you as family. A warm feeling spreads in your body and it makes you smile.  Bucky parked the car in the garage and went out of the car. You sit there for a minute taking a deep breath. Bucky opens your car door and holds out his hand, under the other arm he has your wooden box. “Ready?” his smile makes you feel confident. “Yeah,” You say and take his hand. Together you walk to the living quarters of the compound. 

Steve saw Bucky driving the car into the grounds at the compound and that Y/N was with him. He knew that he needed to talk to them. After a while he heard their voices coming toward him and he got ready to talk to the two of them. He had a whole speech ready to go. But when it was only Y/N that came into the kitchen, no Bucky. She stopped the moment she saw him there, but then she walked over to the fridge and took out two water bottles, without as much as look at him again. Steve cleared his throat but still no reaction from Y/N. “Y/N,” Steve started and his mind was blank. His speech had been to both Bucky and Y/N and now that she was standing here in front of him he had no words. She did not turn but started to look through the pantry. “Y/N,” Steve tried again, but she took out a bar of chocolate and placed it on the counter. It made him irritated that she did not care that he was trying to talk with her. How was he supposed to apologize if she did not even look at him? Before he knew what he was doing he had walked over there and tapped her against the counter. She turned to look at him with a stone face.  “I am trying to talk with you,” Steve almost growled.  “I don’t care what you have to say to me,” Y/N snarled at him. “I think you said enough a couple of hours ago.” “Y/N,” Steve growled this time. Y/N yawned. “Do you really think this caveman behaviour will get me to listen to anything you have to say,” Y/N looked down at her nails. Steve felt himself lose control. “I am the leader of this team,” He bellowed. “You will listen to me.” “All I see is a toddler having a tantrum because he can’t get what he wants,” Y/N sassed and stood on her toes so she was almost eye to eye with the angry Steve. “What the hell is going on in here?” Bucky shouted when he walked into the room. “Steve!” That made Steve take a step back and Y/N took the water and the chocolate and walked over to Bucky. “Y/N, I am trying to apologize,” Steve got out. Y/N looked at him.  “No you are not,” She shook her head. “You are trying to bully me into talking to you and forgiving what you said.” With that she walked away. Steve started to walk after her but Bucky stopped her. “Leave her alone,” Bucky demanded. “I am her Captain,” Steve grunted. “I can’t leave her alone. We need to sort this out so I know she can be professional out in the field.” “I have the utmost respect for her ability to compartmentalise and be an asset out in the field.” Bucky snorted. “And if there is anyone who needs to check his professionalism it is you going through her room and acting like a jerk.” Bucky turned around and walked away. Steve stood there looking after his best friend.  “Fuck,” Steve sighed at the same time as Tony walked into the kitchen. “Did you just say a bad word?” Tony smirked but when he saw Steve’s face the smirk disappeared. “I take it the conversation with Y/N and Bucky did not work so well,” Tony patted Steve’s back. “No,” Steve hung his head. “I think I made it worse.” Tony took out a water bottle from the fridge.  “You know,” Tony started then stopped. Steve looked over at him. “My father once told me that an apology needs to be as loud as the disrespect was.” Then he left the room. “How am I going to be able to do that?” Steve said to the room, but since there was nobody there the only answer he got was silence. Steve goes to his room hoping a good night sleep will give him the answers.

The next morning Steve is not sleepy even a minute and he still has no idea how to fix things. His last resort is to google it. And there it is. The best apology in the world. Flowers. He tried to think of a flower that could help him. Red roses felt wrong, those were romantic and apologizing was not romantic. Sunflowers came to mind. Sunny and happy. Steve ran out of his room and took a car to the nearest flower shop and ordered a large bouquet of sunflowers.  Then he hurried back to the compound and walked right up to Y/N door and started to knock. He heard movement inside and then the door opened to Y/N standing there in only a pair of pj shorts and a tank-top.  “What the hell are you doing here?” She grumbles and Steve just hands her the flowers.  “I wanted to apologize,” Steve scratch his neck. “The flowers are a part of my apology. So hmm.. I am sorry.” She starts to laugh and shake hear head. Steve just looks at her. What is happening? Why is she laughing?

There was a frenetic knocking on your door. You wish that it would just go away, but it seemed to only get louder. Sighing you stand up and walk over to the door. The sight outside your door was not what you had ever thought you would see. Steve in crumpled cloths and a big bouquet of sunflowers.  “What the hell are you doing here?” You ask even if you don’t really want to know. All you wanted to do was yell at him for waking you up. It had been a late night the day before since  Bucky and you had ended up going through all of the pictures in your box and you had told him everything that he had missed that included your family. Steve handed you the bouquet. “I wanted to apologize,” Steve said, but he did not really look apologetic. He looked nervous. “The flowers are a part of my apology. So hmm.. I am sorry.” The look on his face and the flowers, it just got to much. You started to laugh. Was he fucking serious? He thought that could be taken as an sincere apology and flowers.. Nope. You handed the flowers back. “Take those before I stick them somewhere the sun does not shine,” you sass at him and close the door in his face. It was oddly satisfying and you crawl down in your bed again.

Steve stood there with his moth hanging open and the flowers back in his arms. What had just happened? He hears a chuckles from the vent over him. “Barton, get down here,” Steve sighs. Clint jumps down beside hi and pat him on his back.  “Thank you for today's laugh,” Clint smirked and start to walk away. “What did I do wrong?” Steve wondered and Clint shrugs and walk away.  “Clint, please,” Steve walked after him.  “Do you really think that sunflowers is a worthy apology for going through someones personal things and accusing someone of being a member of Hydra?” Clint left Steve standing there. Steve looked down at the flowers in his arms, maybe he needed something more expensive. Something more. Steve could not find the words for what he needed,  but he knew where to find it. Google. That sight seemed to have every answer.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Everything Taglist:

@buckysmischief​

@allaboutthebooz​

Nexus Series taglist:

@dee-vn​​

@soleil-dor​​

@readermia​​

@centerhabit

@mylifeiscrazy0423​​

@buckys-other-punk​​

@owhatshername-blog​​

@shower-me-with-roses

@taketimeandappreciate​

[cicici03]

Just Listen Ch 10- Reunited

OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT THIS IS THE END OF JUST LISTEN!!!!!!!

PLAY THE MUSIC WHEN YOU GET TO ONE PART OF STORY FOR MORE FEELINGS!!

I HOPE Y’ALL ENJOY THE LAST CHAPTER!!!

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Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday

Everybody sing the Stevie Wonder rendtion of “ Happy Birthday” to Amaya. Amaya was soaking up the attention and look towards her parents. Her parents may thought she didn’t notice the little things, she did. She smile not only it was her birthday, but she has her parents still together.

“ Amaya, blow out the candles baby!” Tre shouted to his youngest daughter with some tears coming up seeing his baby turn six years old. As Amaya blew out the candles, Cierra looked up at her husband. 

Tre couldn’t hold the tears in.

Cierra wipe off a tear off his face. As she finish wiping the tear off his face, Tre caught Cierra hand and kept it on his face. He looked at her and smile. Cierra smiled back. 

As the couple was having a silent moment, Jakob was up to no good. As Amaya finish blowing out the candles. Jakob came up with a idea.

A DUMB IDEA TO BE EXACT.

Jakob saw his little sister soak up all the attention. Amaya might be his favorite sister, but she was on his list. Amaya “accidentally” slip up and told Jakob’s girlfriend that constipate. Even though Jakob was, he was shock that his favorite sister was going to do him like that. 

So Jakob, whom was standing right behind Amaya, and standing by Mia finally saw the time was right.

As he seem like slow motion, Jakob slam Amaya face in the cake. It seem like everything stood frozen.

Amaya looked back with this twitch in her eye, and grab a piece of the cake and threw it at Jakob. Jakob yelled out:

“ Food Fight!”

With thirty 5/6 years old, they love themselves some food fight. With Jakob running away from Mia and Amaya, whom was running after him with cake in their hand.

Cierra and Tre finally felt out of their lovely eye gazing when a piece of cake hit Cierra right in her face. When Tre looked around, it was a bunch of kids running around with cake and other food in their hand. Parents were hiding and some was even joining.

Marcus took off his shoe warning kids if he get hit by some cake, then they getting their ass whoop.

Tre turn back to his wife, who was still in shock, and start laughing. As if he didn’t learn that laughing at his wife will get him hurt. She looked on the ground, and saw that some Mac-N-Cheese was on the ground. Cierra went down and pick it up off the grass and chuck it at Tre.

With that, Tre shut his mouth and looked at his wife. Cierra met his eyes and knew it was time for her to run.

“ Cierra, you better run because when I get my hands on you, those lemon cookies are mines!” Tre ran after her getting a plate of mash potatoes.

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As the end of the party came to an end at 5:00, the family was cleaning up the food fight that ruin the whole backyard. As Tre and Cierra was cleaning one section of the yard, the kids gather up on the other side of the yard.

“ If your dumb self didn’t start this, the backyard wouldn’t be ruin!” Mia yelled at Jakob while trying to be quiet as possible. Mia looked at her Apple watch and realize that the caters would be here in a moment.

“ OMG we got to get mommy and daddy upstairs because the cater is going be here at any moment!” Mia rushed into the house to get Angelo and Marcus to get them two upstairs.

Mia came back outside with them following right behind her. She gesture for Amaya and Jakob to get inside to put on their outfits for the surprise. 

On the other side of the backyard, Marcus and Angelo was busy trying the two to go to their respectfully places where Mama T and Lisa to set up their outfits for the surprise.

“ Cierra we need to check on the test.” Angelo whispered in Cierra’s ear. Cierra turn around and ran to her office with Angelo. This test could change things in the Rhode’s household.

As Marcus saw Angelo get Cierra to go, he stated silently to Tre, “ Tre you remeber that phone call you had this morning, I think they left a message on the land line.” Tre looked at Marcus and ran upstairs to his room, which was the room that had a landline, to hear the voicemail. This voice mail could change things in the Rhode’s household.

Both of these things can.

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“ People,move it!” Mia yelled at her family that was setting up the backyard for the surprise dinner. Mia looked over at her siblings which they were bickering with each other.

“ Both of y’all James Brown lookalikes! Y’all better not ruin my plan or else!” Mia shouted  at them and while looking into both of their eyes.

“ Okay, Mrs.Meanie, that is why you actually looked like James Brown yesterday!” Amaya retorted back with a head roll.

“ Now this is why she is  my favorite sister!” Jackob said while looking at Mia, whom was not very interested in the argument.

“ Okay both of y’all get change into your outfit and hurry up.” Mia said while turning around and saw Marcus about putting the wrong floral arrangement on the table. Grandpa Marcus what the heck are you doing!” Mia shouted while quickly running over to him.

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As Cierra walked out of her office with the dress that was laying on her desk.

Cierra saw her husband walking down the stairs in the amazing black suit with his shirt open a little.

“ Now Trevante Rhodes don’t make me take you down on this staircases.” Cierra whispered seductively to her husband as he walking towards her. Trevante smirk and looked at his wife.

“ Now turn around for me Mrs.Rhodes.” Tre smirked as he saw his wife go slowly around. As she was about to turn back to him, Trevante grabbed her towards him. They both start making out with each other and feeling all up on each other. Tre start going down Cierra neck as he heard a voice.

“ Now I am getting tired of seeing y’all getting freaky in this house.” Angelo stated while looking at the couple. They both look quickly at each other only to see Angelo.

Nope.

Standing right beside him was Marcus and Jakob with a disgusting look on there faces. Cierra finally notice that the everybody was dressed up.

“ Why are y’all dress up?” Ciera question to the three of them. The look on their faces told Cierra and Tre that they were hiding something. 

“ Well you know that we like to look good! What’s wrong with that.” Jakob answer while not looking at his mom. Jakob don’t look at his parents when he is lying and they know that.

“ You are lying, did Tre even gift me this dress?” Cierra question the three stooges in front of her.  Tre spoke up: “ No baby I didn’t, but Marcus said that you gift me this outfit.” Tre looked at Marcus, who turn his whole head the other way. 

“ Well I can tell that everybody is hiding something from us and I want to know now.” Cierra stated with much firmness while looking at the three people in front of her. Marcus looked down at his watch reading, 8:00, which this was the time that Mia wanted her parents to go out for the suprise.

“ Well, we are hiding something, it is in the backyard.” Marcus looked at the couple in front them. Cierra and Tre head to the backyard with the three hiding behind them. 

When Cierra and Tre walk out to their backyard, Cierra started to tear up.

undefined

With Reunited playing in the backyard, the couple looked in awe at the transformation of their backyard.

The backyard that was full of food was transform to a romantic canopy dinner for two. With the bamboo trees in the background and the candles all over the backyard. Tre looked at his wife, who had tears coming down her eyes, it made him smile. Cierra looked at her husband and ask, “ Did you plan this?” saying with much shock on her face.

“ No we did!” Amaya shhouted behind them. The couple looked back and saw their three kids in their waitress outfits.

“ Well my lady and sir, it is time for you to go eat and I will show you to your table.” Mia stated to her parents with dinner menus in her hand. Walking hand and hand, Cierra and Tre followed the Mia.

When getting to the table, Tre got Cierra’s chair and waited for her to sit before he went to his chair before to do the same. 

“ What would your drinks be sir and ma’am.” Mia said while smiling at her parents and seeing that they loved it. They looked at the print menu that Mia did this morning. 

“ Well for me and my lady I think we will take the red wine.” Tre said while looking at Mia. Mia smiled and turn to walk back in the house.

“ Wow, our kids are amazing.” Cierra  said stil looking around at the backyard and how the kids transform it. 

“ They are truly amazing. Happy anniversary baby girl!” Tre said reached across the table and held Cierra’s hand. Cierra turn back over to looked at her husband. With a smile, she replied “ Happy anniversary baby!” while squeezing his hand.

“ This past couple of months been the hardest thing. Baby I am truly sorry for doing anything that ever hurt you. I was so depress that I forgot that I had my wife that was hurting too.” Tre quietly finishing the statement at the end with tears coming down. Cierra looked at her husband and the tears came down faster.

“ Baby I said things too, and I am sorry for that. I love you so much Trevante Nemour Rhodes. I don’t know what I would do without you. You gave me all my children, my first love, and my best friend baby. I know the lost of the baby really hurt us both,” Cierra stated to her husband taking a pause, “ Well, I have something to tell you. I haven’t been feeling well for the last couple of days and I took a test. 15 to be exact.” Cierra emphasized the last part of her statement.

With a smile, Cierra looked at Tre and announce “ All 15 of them were postive!”

Tre smiled turn into a big cheshire cat smile. He got up out of his seat and ran over to his wife and kiss her. He held on to her face, with their noses touching each other, they were smiling.

“ Well, I hope it is a boy because I can’t deal girls no more dad! Cause these two right here are a enough for me.” Jakob said out loud while his sisters and him was looking at their parents. Cierra and Tre looked at their kids, which the girls was punching him because he ruin the moment. 

Those were their kids alright.

“ Daddy you forgot the gift you suppose to give mommy!” Amaya shouted giving her dad the ringbox.

“ You remeber when I first propose to you and I gave you my grandmother’s ring. With that, I said to you when we get stable enough, I would buy you something else.” Tre said while givng Cierra the ring box.

Cierra open it up, and Tre truly outdid himself.

“ Trevante Rhodes, this thing is huge!” Cierra said bewildered with Tre putting the ring on her finger. 

“ Well your daughters, momma, and Angelo said that was the one.” Tre stated recounting ring shopping this past week. Cierra looked at Tre and smile at him. She then looked a the kids and saw that they wanted to be in the conversation too.

“ My little babies, bring up a chair!” Cierra shouted looking at the kids. Amaya sat down in Tre’s lap, who went back to his seat, while Mia and Jakob got a chair. The family started to talk and laugh like they use to before everything happen. 

They were in their own world.

The other family memebers went outside and realize that the family was having their time together. They put up the food, and went to their respectful rooms. The Rhode’s family went back to being them.

“ I do have an announcement though!” Tre exclaimed with a sleeping Amaya  on his lap.

“ Well, your daddy and husband is about to be the a superhero! I am the next Green Lantern!” Tre stated with much excitement coming from his family. Tre looked at his wife and just smiled.

“ It is time for you kids to go to bed too!” Tre said while getting up with Amaya still knock out. The twins latch onto  the their mom arms while Tre walked Amaya to their room. As he layed down Amaya, he kissed her on the cheek and left her room. 

Tre went inside their master bedroom, looking at his wife that was taking off her makeup with a wipe by her bedside. Tre came beside and look directly at her and smile once again.

“ Baby all of this smiling is getting a little creepy.” Cierra insisted while laughing at her husband. “ Why can’t I look at my beautiful, hot, sexy wife that is looking absolutely stunning that dress.” Tre stated back while taking off his shoes. Cierra just laughed while walking into their joint closet.

“ Tre on serious note though, I am truly proud of us! We got stuck in the movement of us and things happen. We didn’t know how to solve them, but we learn alot!” Cierra said while changing and walking out in her pajamas pants and sports bra.

Cierra got on her side of the bed and got under the covers with Tre walking out of the bathroom. 

“ I know baby! I have learn that I need to take care you like you take care of our family. You learn that I just need  you to be my best friend. However, both us learn that we need to just listen!”  Tre stated coming out of the closet with his sweatpants on.

Cierra wasn’t looking at her husband’s face no more, but something that swinging. Tre looked at his wife and knew what she was looking at. As he got in the bed, Tre said “ I think somebody wants to give The Green Lantern some lemon cookie.” 

As he got in the bed, Cierra jump on top of him. 

“ Well Mr. Green Lantern I think tonight you need to just listen to me!” 

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Well that is the end of Just Listen you guys 😭😭😭! My first baby is grown up😭🥺!!I am so proud that I acutally did it and I finished it! I want to thank @l-auteuse​ for telling me that I could do it and all of y’all reading this! Tre, Cierra, Amaya, Jakob, and Mia is not ending, they just only beginning! My Masterlist will be updated and keep an I for my new series, When Two Worlds Collide. 

Like, Comment, and Repost!!

Taglist: @l-auteuse​ @twistedcharismaaa​ @munteanhore​ @19jammmy​ @ljstraightnochaser​

[ethertae]

When it rains, it pours | 01 (myg)

When it rains, it pours | 01 - Min Yoongi

beautiful moodboard by @cafelunes (thanks so much, Lina)

⇢ pairing: reader x yoongi (ft. Hoseok)

⇢ word count: 5.2 k

⇢ summary: “Hoseok is iridescent, and Yoongi is shimmering – two stars, with you at their orbit”. or you are miserably in love with your brother’s best friend.

⇢ genre: angst (lots and lots of it), series of five or six parts (was supposed to be a oneshot but eh). Even though the premise of this fic revolves around the reader being in love with Yoongi, it is not the main focus of the story. Hoseok is just as important to the plot than the other characters.

⇢ warnings: Y/N is depressed, and a lot of the themes in this are heavy, this fic might weigh you down a lot after a while.

Realization had fallen while you sat on a hospital bench, sleep-deprived and irritated to the brim. With worried parents at your side, and Hoseok in a hospital bed, the only thing you could think of was ways to further break your brother’s leg.

It hadn’t been the first time, that in a silly brawl, Hoseok had managed an injury. You rushed to the hospital, all scared out of your minds, till the reason for his admission was revealed. If they had just arrested his ass, maybe he would have finally learned his lesson, but in a small town like yours, understandings were quickly met.

Reverie now broken, a voice, like an angel, reverent and jovial spoke amidst the deafening silence, “Hey!”

No sooner was the word out, that you waved to greet Yoongi with a cheesy smile. It had been raining, and as he shook the wetness from his grey hair, he shot your parents an apologetic grin.

“Sorry for all the trouble, Hoseok didn’t mean to start any of it.”

At that, you snorted, rubbing your hands down your thighs out of boredom. Yoongi settled next to you and took something out from his jacket pocket, “here, I got your text, I think it’s a little soggy now, but –“

Enveloped in a small plastic bag was the hot dog you had asked for, “thank you!”

“So, how does being 16 feel? Sorry, I didn’t get to come to your birthday party - Hoseok told me you were flirting with boys.”

Yoongi’s teasing tone made you slow your chewing, “I was not!”

Humming absentmindedly, he leaned against the tiled wall and sighed, “your brother is really dumb.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure, you were there right along side of him, whispering encouragements in his ear.”

“Where did you get that mouth from?”

“From you.”

“Ah, learned from the best, I see.”

“Definitely.”

Your parents spoke in hushed whispers, and while you tried to hone in on their conversation, Yoongi patted your leg.

“Hm?”

“When did you grow so much?” The words were void of emotion, a mirror to his expression.

“What do you mean?”

“Just yesterday, you were four, and Hoseok and I were nine,” he paused, “we teased you till you cried and you ended up throwing a sand bucket in his face.”

“Yeah?”

“My point is, where did time go? Twelve years have flown by, and well, I don’t know – I’m just speaking, nonsense.”

“You sound like a grandpa.”

“I’m older than I look.”

Yoongi was a strange individual, and while you pondered if he had changed in the years you knew him, interestingly enough, he hadn’t at all. He was always found with a sense of longing in his eye, a sentiment of loss even he couldn’t explain.

But, as you stared at him that day, in the buzzing hospital, a feeling warmed your chest. To you, Yoongi was beautiful, and at the time, you tried convincing yourself it was a result of the hormonal splurge you were experiencing. No, it hadn’t been that. It started from there, the simple stutter of a heart, which grew to your misery.

Four years later and not much has changed, other than the fact that you are spending your twentieth birthday alone. While your friends tried to push you into going out with them, you were adamant on staying home for the occasion. It would be to self reflect you convinced yourself, however you have come to regret your decision. Sitting down in front of a stupid reality show, whilst eating cake, is a lot sadder than you thought it would be.

Lately, things haven’t been going well. Life has become a cycle that, somedays, you wish to get out of. The burden that is to breathe has finally weighed you down, and perhaps, you haven’t been the only one to notice. Your appearance at social events become a rare sight, and the excuses that you tell are all but the same.

You sigh and take a fork full of cake, “happy birthday to me.”

The time when birthdays were something you looked forward to, is long passed. Now, you consider them to be yet another year of suffering, or to stay positive, a year closer to fulfillment.

At least the cake is good.  

You lick the frosting from the corner of your lips, before turning off the TV. The bird clock Hoseok got for your 18th birthday can be heard again, and you stare as it slowly ticks passed 8. Speaking of your brother, he usually sent a text by now. You guess he simply forgot – he’s been so busy.

Half way through the patisserie, you put down your fork and close the box. Fulness is a feeling you don’t appreciate at night, and since you’re tired, sleeping seems like the right thing to do. You drag your feet to the cold kitchen tiles and place the patisserie in the fridge. As you retire to your bedroom, the doorbell rings.

You stand still, hoping for the person to go away, and it’s quiet, until – “shit face, open up! I know you’re there!”

Upon hearing your brother’s voice, you sigh and walk towards the door.

“What do you want, Hoseok?”

The smile on his face is almost alarming, and you huff when he tackles you with a hug. Indeed, he is a very affectionate person, and normally, you would be the first to receive his excessive need for skinship, however tonight –

“What do you mean ‘what do I want’? It’s my baby sister’s birthday, and she’s here spending it alone like a sad little old lady.” He pats your cheek, and you smack his hand away with a groan.

It takes you several seconds to notice the shadowed figure behind your brother, and you stand on your toes to get a better look.

“Yoongi?”

The man in question steps closer and places a hand on his friend’s shoulder. His lips hold a lilt, and your heart stutters just like it has for the last 5 years. “Your brother said he was going to visit, then I remembered it was your birthday, so I tagged along.”

You smile and look at your brother again, “why are you guys still standing in the doorway, come in.”

Hoseok shrugs off his coat and throws it over a chair, “geez, you have to clean this place.”

He picks a pizza box off of the floor and winces, closing it quickly. “You really have to…”

The last time you saw them was a little over a month ago, when you weren’t so overwhelmed with exams. Hoseok and your parents had wanted to get dinner, a kind of family reunion. Youremember it being a nice evening, well until Hoseok insisted on hitting the bars. He called up Yoongi, the tweedle dee to his tweedle dum – of course, you all got kicked out. While you didn’t find it funny at all, both of them spent the rest of the night in hysterics.

It has always amazed you, how a reserved person like Yoongi, becomes a crazed baboon whenever in the presence of Hoseok. Funny thing, you think, that Yoongi needs Hoseok to come out of his shell, and still, has tranquilizing abilities on your hyperactive brother. Complementary, yet different.

“How did you end up like this? You know how I spent my twentieth birthday?”

You scoff, “in jail.”

“Hey, it wasn’t a real jail, and that’s beside the point! At least, I was having fun. Why are you here, moping around? Do you have no friends? What about that girl Lisa, I thought you guys hung out.”

He regards you seriously, awaiting whatever type of excuse you can pull out of your ass. “I am the one who decided to spend my birthday alone,” your eyes wander to where Yoongi takes a seat beside Hoseok. His thin lips are pursed, and he remains still, albeit fiddling with the rings on his fingers.

Hoseok stays quiet for a few seconds, before smiling. Your brother is many things, including his perception, and you know that in that small moment, he had figured you out. The smile, it seems, is mostly reserved for himself, and the next thing he says, does anything but surprise you.

“I see…”

You have always been like this. When have you not been? Your sadness is a crippling rose, and now, it has bloomed. At least, that is how Hoseok sees it, ever the mind reader.

Yoongi is quick to grow bored of his activity and speaks, “should we go out and celebrate?”

The other grins, “Remember Jin?”

He ponders a moment, then nods slowly. Hoseok continues, “well, apparently he’s having the grand opening of his nightclub tonight.”

“Are we talking about Jin from highschool?”

“Yeah.”

“Hoseok – he hated us.”

Your brother suddenly laughs. He had forgotten how much that uptight kid wished their death. “Well, we’re adults now. I think we’ve all moved past highschool.”

“I think you’re forgetting what assholes we were.”

A smile breaks you from your thoughts, “you really were dickheads.”

“You would follow us everywhere though,” Yoongi comments with a grin.

“Right, she was always lurking in the shadows.”

Hoseok mimics a younger you, Yoongi laughs, and you love. Then, it’s a blur of passing cars and fading lights. Youth cheers and brings forth life, and your brother is just another part of it.

“Cheer up, Y/N! It’s your birthday!”

The city, at night, is cold and bitter. Nothing about the mass of young bodies disillusions you from the dull streets. To you, the only people to generate light are Hoseok, and Yoongi.

Over the years, hiding your love for him has become easy. As a teenager, you had mistaken it for infatuation or lust – in your mind you had been too young to know what love was. But over time, when your feelings grew, it had been so complicated to conceal them. Everything he did, from his laugh to his strange habits, made you buckle.

Now, you are so used to the kind burn that comes with his presence, that it is of second nature. You glance at the couple ahead. Hoseok is boisterous and Yoongi is attentive, all smiles.

The city, at night, is peaceful. Under artificial lights and youthful gazes, Hoseok feels at ease. A world which he can make his own. He pears at you over his shoulder and slings his arm over Yoongi’s. Distance has painted your canvas black and white.

“Pst, midget! Hurry up.”

Your step quickens, and soon, the three of you walk side by side. It is quiet for a moment, save for the wet music of Hoseok’s shoes against the pavement. You savor it.

“We’re almost there, just a block away.”

The time it takes to get there passes in a blur. Women and men alike, line up in hopes of entering the new upscale club. You close your eyes a moment and sigh. Hoseok’s bad ideas are bound to drag you into the mud one of these days.

Yoongi nudges you, “relax, it can’t be any worse than all the other times.”

“You’ve a got a point there.”

Hoseok taps his foot impatiently, and the repetitive motion interrupts your thoughts. Behind a group of smokers, you all stand at the very back of the line. A few minutes tick by, before he rudely grabs your wrist, “come on, we’re going in front.”

You pull him back, “we can’t just cut in!”

“No, silly, we’re not cutting in. We’re invited.”

Yoongi joins in with an amused smile, “I really don’t think we are, hobi…”

“We’ll tell them we know the owner.”

Not a semblance of shame can be seen on Hoseok’s sharp features, as he tugs you along to the front. Habit has made it that you no longer oppose his strange decisions, nor bother thinking of them. Life, in his eyes, is ephemeral, and time is too scarce: ‘don’t worry, be happy’. The lyric echoes soundly in your mind, a distant memory.

“Hello,” Hoseok starts, “we’re on the list.”

The bouncer sighs, “name?”

“Jung Hoseok.”

Yoongi places a hand on your shoulder.

“Your name isn’t on here.”

He stifles laughter.

Your brother feigns surprise, “that’s strange – maybe it’s under the name Jung Y/N?”

The repetitive instance in which you find yourselves quickly escalates, as the bouncer catches on to Hoseok’s game. His beady eyes narrow, and Hoseok’s smile falters. You are about to intervene, when Yoongi suddenly speaks, “Kim Seokjin!”

Hoseok mutters a quick thanks and loosens the grip he had on Yoongi’s hand. A tall man whips his head, full lips and combed hair. First, he tilts it, and a beat passes, before – epiphany. He heads your way, and Hoseok’s stiff posture visibly relaxes.Highschool is in the past; how petty could Kim Seokjin be?

“Seokjin, how have you –“

The man’s derisive snort interrupts any attempt at making small talk, “Well, well: Jung Hoseok, and Min Yoongi, together as always. Nothing much has changed for you guys, huh?”

You notice the way his lips twitch in a sneer, and it’s unsettling for such gentle traits. At your side, Hoseok shifts. On rare occasions is he ever at a loss for words, and under Kim Seokjin’s scrutiny, he curses himself for it.

“How long has it been, 7 years? Highschool was a while ago,” the man glances at Yoongi, “indeed, haven’t changed one bit.”

As the four of you stand there, facing each other, you wonder what your brother could have done to bring about such hatred. Silence stretches on, then Hoseok sighs.

“Look, Jin. We’re all adults now, as you said Highschool was 7 years ago. It’s way behind us –“

“Yeah, sure. Don’t bullshit me, Hoseok. You just want to get into my nightclub, and there’s no way that’s happening.”

“Oh, come on,” Hoseok laughs, “it’s my baby sister’s birthday!”

Seokjin shakes his head in disbelief, “you really haven’t changed, have you? Shameless as always.”

Your brother has always had thick skin, it is so easy for him to brush things off. So instead of taking Seokjin’s comment at heart, he grins: “Ya bet!”

Highschool was indeed long ago, and as Seokjin stares at your luminescent brother, a feeling uglier than bitterness rises within him. Jealousy and discontent have reached him too, and it’s visible in the curl of distaste he directs at Hoseok. It’s strange, you find, to see someone act so miserably human.

“You really have no boundaries, do you? You both come here like the universe is your oyster, with no sense of past mistakes, and no consideration whatsoever. This is real life, you can’t just pull crap like this. This is not highschool. Grow the fuck up, Jung Hoseok!”

It saddens you that anger isn’t there, as it should be. A younger you would have jumped to defend him, but this stranger is right, and Hoseok, better than anyone, knows it. “Ha, I forgot how easily riled up you get, Seokjin. You haven’t changed all that much either,” he pats the man’s shoulder.

“Just leave.”

Yoongi for a second time, holds your brother’s hand in discreet affection and moral support. From the corner of your eye, you notice and smile; afterall, they have always been the best of friends.

Hoseok is iridescent, and Yoongi is shimmering – two stars, with you at their orbit. Laughter and foolery echo in the dim street, but his smile is treacherous. Thick skin can only be so thick, and at moments, hurtful words only serve to thin it. To the public, however, he is unfading light.

Wind cards itself in your hair, a soothing whisper and gentle caress. Nothing can break him, he is unyielding – it is nice to think it. Hoseok’s strands sway as he walks in time with the simple beat Yoongi produces. When they are here, smiling is so easy. Meaning, when they are here, you feel is attainable.

“Y/N, you’ve met Namjoon, right?”

You nod, “yeah, a few times actually.”

Hoseok ponders your answer, then laughs, “true, I forgot!”

Namjoon’s apartment is where you are headed, you conclude. A bright person with peculiar taste, is what you recall him to be. He never spoke to you much and if he did, it was merely formalities. However, when you did happen to converse, it was genuine and benign.

“Oh, and give Taehyung a break, it’s only friendly flirting, he does it with everyone.”

You make a face to which Hoseok laughs and roughly smacks your shoulder. With a wince, you soothe the spot your brother assaulted. It now occurs to you that Yoongi is the only friend of Hoseok’s that you truly know. At this thought, you lift your eyes to stare at him. He is looking at his friend with the tiniest of a smile and it brings you back to their many years of camaraderie.

“Do you think Jungkook will be there? Haven’t seen him in a while… Apparently he’s still hung up on that girl.”

Yoongi just shakes his head and sighs, “Jin is right, some things never change.”

This has Hoseok barking out a laugh and lunging to wrap his arms around Yoongi’s shoulders in a bid to keep himself upright. Moments like these, you grip your sides in an embrace, do they only belong to others?

Your brother snaps his fingers and grins when you startle, “Y/N, look alive!”

You offer him a small smile and avert your interest to the group of girls who laugh on the opposing sidewalk. They are beautiful, you think. Drunk on life and youth – things that escape you. Hoseok notices how you stare at them and stays silent.

His barren smile stands. For you and me, both.

Before long, you all stand in front of Namjoon’s apartment door. Yoongi huffs in annoyance and brings a hand to his chest. “All those fucking stairs, goddamn it!”

Hoseok lifts his hand and raps his knuckles against the chipped door in quick successions. Voices can be heard in the apartment, along side a heavy tread that grows in sound the closer it gets. The first thing you are greeted with as the door swings open, are Namjoon’s surprised eyes.

“Hey, what are guys doing here?”

He leans in to hug both Hoseok and Yoongi, before swaying to the side. Only then does he notice you, “oh, hey! Didn’t see you there.”

He gestures warmly inside his home where your brother and Yoongi have already thrown their coats haphazardly on an armchair. Upon entering the apartment, you note the slight changes made since you were here last. The imposing painting that hung above the couch is no longer there: you remember staring at it when you were bored once.

“Go fucking put some pants on, Taehyung. My sister is here.”

Hoseok nudges his friend, who sits on the beige couch with his legs spread and controller in hand. At your brother’s words, Taehyung lifts his head and smiles at you – “Hey, Y/N!”

“Hey.”

You make way into the living-room and sit crosslegged on the carpet. Taehyung presses play on his game, feet now on top of the coffee table where your fingers twiddle mindlessly.

Hoseok smacks the back of his younger friend’s head as a reminder, “I told you to get changed, asshole.”

“Alright, alright!”

As the boy leaves, grumbling under his breath, you give Hoseok a pointed look. “You know this is his home, right?”

“Your point?”

With a sigh, you ignore him and focus your attention instead on the potted plant near the TV – it’s ivy. You have always liked these plants, long and dark in color. As you continue to stare, lithe fingers reach for the leaves and pet them delicately. Your eyes trail up the person’s arm until they land on a face, one with a slender nose and pale, thin lips: Yoongi.

His doe eyes study the plant, mouth pressed in a tight line, and when your brother calls him, he hums. “Namjoon is calling us to the kitchen.”

“Alright,” he drops his hand from the vine and follows Hoseok to the room they are needed in. In passing, he offers you a small smile and ruffles your hair gently. At the contact, you close your eyes, breath releasing in an almost somber shudder when he leaves.

You keep them shut only a little while longer.

The sound of clunky shoes grace your ears, and you peel your lids back out of curiosity. A young man, one can guess around the age of Taehyung, removes Hoseok and Yoongi’s jackets from the armchair and throws them in a corner. Hair tousled and lip pierced with a ring, he slouches back onto the back rest. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you recall Hoseok having mentioned a friend who dresses as if he were in constant mourning.

“Jungkook, geez, were you taking a shit in there?”

Taehyung sits back on the couch, clad in sweatpants at Hoseok’s request. He awaits Jungkook’s reply, and upon realizing he is not getting one, makes himself comfortable. The glance sent your way is amused, and when he speaks, his voice titters on a laugh.

“Hey, you alright there? You’re zoning into another dimension right now.”

His smile, however, fades once he sees your detached response. So, instead of asking again, he simply hands you another controller to his game of Assassin’s Creed – “Wanna play?”

You politely decline and shift to face the window, much like Jungkook has been doing. The streets are quieter now. Only a car or two pass here and there under the dim lamp posts. It almost feels as if you were far off the city, in a deserted town. If only it could always be like this – indeed is it dreadful living in a street so dull with life.

Hoseok, on the other hand, can’t possibly fathom anything better, and the thought makes you smile just the slightest bit.

“Taehyung, could you direct me to the bathroom, please?”

The boy blinks at you, before slowly rising to his bare feet. “Sure,” he motions for you to follow him. You chance a glance at Jungkook, only to see that he has not moved one bit.

Your brother’s boisterous laughter can be heard, as you pass the kitchen. Huddled near the counter, the three men exchange friendly conversation, and you barely catch a glimpse of it, before Taehyung points you to the toilet.

The walls are white, and the color makes the space seem a little wider than it really is. You pull down the seat and after close inspection, allow yourself to sit on it. It doesn’t take you longer than five minutes to finish and wash your hands.

Gently, you push the door shut and press your shoulders against it with a hushed sigh. Where the wallpaper slightly rots in a corner of the ceiling, you stare. The stain is small, and you can only trace the reason for it back to a leak. Around the peeled edges, the wall takes on a color of faded copper – it is a sight you’ve seen before. Hoseok and Yoongi would remember, they were there too.

Your brother means well, he always does, but you are tired and have been for a while now. Tonight, you only wished to sleep – and Hoseok only wished to spend time with you. It is your birthday afterall.

Once again, you sigh, and in an attempt to lean off the door, lose your balance. It takes a meager second to regain step, and you inhale steadily, in hopes that your vision will clear.

“Wait, don’t go just yet.”

The voice, accompanied by a hand that draws Hoseok back to the kitchen, is just above a whisper. Where you stand pressed to the wall, the entrance to it is visible, and if you were to walk a little further, you would be able to see inside.

You make a tentative step forward, relieved to have recoveredfrom the minor mishap your lack of sleep has caused. As you approach the kitchen, it becomes easy to distinguish their voices. In succinct, hushed tones, they speak with their backs turned to face the counters. At first, you mean to ignore them and continue on to the living-room, until:

“But, when do you mean to tell her?”

You pause, wondering whom Namjoon’s question was directed to. There is a beat of silence, then your brother answers – “Uh. Soon, I think. But, I don’t know. Yoongi and I discussed it, and I’d rather we be alone – you know, just me and her.”

A small frown ebbs your features, and deepens the more you think of what he could possibly mean to tell you. For a moment, you fear it to be something bad, and, at this thought, the thudding in your chest starts.

“Yeah, man. It has been a while now, it’s always better that she knows about it now.”

Along with this revelation, doubt churns unpleasantly in your mind. Hoseok has never been one to keep things from you, at least not for long. You wish to see his face, to reassure yourself that it cannot be as bad as you have made it to be. Instead, you stay where you are.

“Yeah, I know – it’s just…”

He sighs, and the sound jabs at your heart, because it is so uncertain.

“I’m scared.”

If only you could confront him, ask him what it is that he is so afraid of, soothe his concerns – if only, you weren’t so terrified too.

Fingers tap at your shoulder, and you nearly startle into cardiac arrest. First, it’s a warm voice: “it’s not nice to eavesdrop on people”, and second, a teasing smile.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell on you,” Taehyung’s grin widens, and all you can do is blink. “I was about to go bother them, but then I saw you lurking here.”

He stares and awaits your answer – strange, you consider, that there is so much depth in his unsuspecting gaze. All you can muster, followed by a pitiful smile, is “yeah, sorry.”

Taehyung’s eyes drift to your trembling hands, and his expression morphs into one of concern. But, before he can get too curious, you head to the living area, legs unsteady under the burden of a restless mind.

Jungkook is on his phone now. His eyes follow whatever it is he reads on the screen, and as you enter the room, he lifts them up. It is quick, however, because no more than a second later, the tired brown of his pupils are back on the device. This small action you think is of no importance, and when you sit down on the rug, your fingers press gently into the covered skin of your calves.

From the corner of your eye, you see Hoseok and Yoongi, along with the two other men, come in.

Hoseok takes a seat on the couch, and Yoongi one at your side – he presses a bear bottle firmly to his lips. “Y/N, you’re not too bored right?”

Your brother raises an eyebrow, and you inspect his face, searching for a hint of deceit, only to find there is none.

“No, I’m fine.”

Namjoon and Taehyung, a few moments ago, had settled on the sofa beside Hoseok. The oldest of the two brings his left leg to rest atop the other and sighs deeply, crumpling in the slightest his can of soda. Taehyung, on the other hand, sits stiff, eyes trained on you in confusion, though, it is subtle enough that only you notice. He had seemed worried earlier, and with your abrupt retreat, you understand it hasn’t helped clear his mind.

“So, I heard it’s your birthday today, Y/N?” Namjoon’s voice is soft, agreeable, spoken out of ample lips and a smile.

“Yeah,” your response is short, and you try to curb the bluntness of it with a kind smile. Hoseok snorts and adds to the exchange, “she’s turning 20, and she was sitting around all alone at home, moping.”

Namjoon nods in understanding, “I get that – I remember being really depressed when I turned 18.”

Yoongi joins in, “really? I don’t see the point of being sad about something you can’t control.”

You can count the amount of times you have heard him speak tonight on one hand. He has never been the most talkative, but tonight Yoongi is quiet. The conversation you overheard minutes prior peals through your thoughts. Hoseok had mentioned that his concern was one discussed with Yoongi, and you can’t help but link this to his silence.

“Are you kidding? Turning 20 is awesome, you can legally drink.”

Jungkook scoffs at Hoseok, “it’s not like that ever stopped you before.”

You are surprised to know that he has been listening, but the others don’t seem to make much of it. Your brother waves him off with a grin, “yeah.”

“Well, do you want a drink?”

Namjoon appears ready to rise from his seat, head tilted and soda abandoned on the coffee table. He awaits your answer, and when you shake your head no, he relaxes on the backrest again.

“Thank you, though.”

“No problem, you’re my guest.”

The rest of the night passes in a flow of laughter and conversation. You sit there and listen as the group of friends recount stories of past foolishness, an occasional smile resting on your lips. At some moment, you can’t seem to recall, Yoongi drapes his arm over both your shoulders. The action is affectionate, the show of a somewhat brotherly love, and you ignore with practice the intensifying ache in your chest.

It is more than you could have ever asked for, being able to love Min Yoongi.

(A/N: Pls support this, I love this story with all my heart, and if it flops I might cry. Also, we’ll see more of the nature of Yoongi and Y/N’s relationship next chapter :) This story will be very slow paced, and one of its main focuses will be Hoseok and Y/N’s family bond. I’ll try to post a part at least once a month, since this story really can’t be rushed. Thanks for understanding.)

Masterlist

[notthecanadianaverage]

All 65 ho! 😤

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I mean I guess kind of sometimes? As someone with ADHD, object permanence is a big thing so if I don't see you, you aren't real xD

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Um, it varies, actually. Generally speaking, I'm not afraid. But sometimes I have lots of nightmares and the darkness is awful and I will deadass sleep with the light on. Also while I'm not afraid, if I hear sounds, I am terrified xD

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Jason Mamoa. He seems like a fine person but something about his appearance triggers my fight or flight.

4. What is your favorite word?

Hippopomonstrosesquipedaliophobia

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

I think maybe either a birch or a weeping willow?

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

That's not yellow

7. What shirt are you wearing?

I'm wearing a green Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time shirt that my sister got for me a few years ago at Fan Expo.

8. What do you label yourself as?

Panromantic asexual. Gender identity wise, demigirl. I recently learned what omnisexual is and I'm curious, but I don't want to come out again so panromantic it is xD

9. Bright room or dark room?

Bright! Lots of sunlight for plants and reading!

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

I was being trained at work

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

I think 18, just because mentally I'm still there.

12. Who told you they loved you last?

My boyfriend :3 I miss him.

13. Your worst enemy?

Dickface. He called me his step daughter once and I almost fucking lost it in that Tim Hortons. I had to fight so hard not to say anything. I was also fighting some pretty rough food poisoning that week so I was not in the mood to argue xD

14. What is your current desktop picture?

On my computer? I think it's a rat xD it's either me with Cortana on my shoulder or Willow peeking through some bars, I can't remember.

15. Do you like someone?

I like my boyfriend. A lot. I mean I hope I do since we have been dating for 6 years xD but I also have a celebrity squish. Patrick Dempsey. Motherfucker. Yes. That smile. Those EYES.

16. The last song you listened to?

https://youtu.be/0Eh4b0Ge-sM

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

That power hungry cheeto. But only if I wouldn't get caught.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Dickface. He is a child abuser and just a shitty person all around. I called him a stupid idiot on my birthday and lost my fucking mind because I didn't actually mean to and he looked PISSED.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

I don't know who, but I would make them cuddle because I am touched starved and need a fucking hug xD

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

I'm doing this all in my phones notes so I can't add a picture, but I love my tattoos and piercings! I have both nostrils pierced, my septum and snakebites. Tattoo wise, I have the Triforce of Courage on my left hand, a small blue hard on my right thumb, a beautiful memorial rat tattoo on my left leg, Midna's Fused Shadow on my left arm and Expecto Patronum on my right wrist. I. Need. More.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

Not gonna lie, I'd probably jerk off xD

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

If I shared it, it wouldn't be a secret.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

I... don't know

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

I would stick with my normal Subway order: lettuce, tomato, red onions, LOTS OF PICKLES, cheese, black forest ham, mayo and salt and pepper.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Not gonna lie, I would probably get some Subway and maybe some candle making supplies.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

California. I miss my boyfriend. Let's go.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

Joke's on you, I don't really drink alcohol! I would instead request all the apple juice :')

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Pet rats for everyone!!!!

29. What is your favorite expletive?

I enjoy cunt :3

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

My little stuffed lion. I would also grab my teddy bear seeing as they are always together.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? (Tw rape for this question)

I mean... all of these experiences have made me who I am. But if i can erase one experience without changing who I am, it would be nice to not have been raped.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

I would say Indonesia because volcanoes! But I am also very gay and I don't believe that is a gay friendly country... so... maybe Japan? All of this assuming that the boyfriend is with me. If not, then California.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My grandpa. I really miss him... I want him to see how far I've come and I want to spend more time with him.

34. What was your last dream about?

I have been having a weird amount of sex dreams lately...

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Rat mom? I like to think so! Shameless plug, but I have a blog here called @ratpotatoez where you can see my beautiful chonks. I'm also on Facebook and YouTube.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

I mean yes? But not for like an overnight stay.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

Fuck socks

39. What type of music do you like?

Depends on my mood. I love heavier, alternative rock but my heart will forever belong to Simple Plan.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

I think they're both really lovely!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Vanilla

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

I don't like football. The only sport I watch is hockey.

43. Do you have any scars?

I am covered in self harm scars (I'm working on covering them up with tattoos). I don't really have any scars with cool stories. I had one that went down my arm but somehow it healed??? Someone in gym class accidentally took a chunk out of my arm with their finger nail and I had a hole in my arm for the longest time!!! I also have a scar on my knee from when I was really young, maybe 3 or 4. I was balancing on some bricks in someone's garden and I lost my balance, fell, and hit my knee on the brick. I remember there being blood running all down my leg as I screamed and cried. So that was fun.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I don't know. I do know, though, that I want to go to culinary school. I also want to go to school for creative writing.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My weight. I gained 100+lbs when I went off my anti-depressants and I swelled up like a balloon. I've felt like shit about myself ever since.

46. Are you reliable?

I sure as shit hope so!

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Was it worth it...?

48. Do you hold grudges?

I try not to, but I think I do ._.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

PIGEON RAT

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

"I just really want to punch this horse in the face, okay?"

51. Are you a good liar?

I think so, yes. Trauma does that to you.

52. How long could you go without talking?

When I get super super drained, I go mute. I can stop talking for days at a time.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

I once left the hair dressers with essentially what was a fucking bowl cut. Yea, I wasn't thrilled. I refused to remove my hat.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Yes. At 3AM. Because fuck a healthy sleep schedule.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

I can do an okay British accent and an okay Indian accent.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Butter. Just butter.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

Um... I don't remember the last time I drew. Actually, that's a lie. I tried drawing a "small town doctor" while playing Drawful. I drew a very tiny doctor with a city skyline behind him.

58. What would be you dream car?

Literally anything with the popup headlights.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I talk to myself in the shower. Granted, I do that everywhere xD it's the only way I can work through my thoughts. I also cry in the shower a lot.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Yes. We can't be the only ones here.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

I don't really have a favourite. But I do like D. Mostly because it's the first letter of my boyfriends name, but also it reminds me of a woman I helped while working in tech support. She needed help figuring out her gif keyboard so I helped and she was so excited when I told her how to search for gifs. She then started giggling like a little girl saying she wondered what might happen if she searched for DICK. She made my day xD I think about her a lot. I hope she's doing well.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Don't do this to me...

Dragons are obviously amazing but haVE YOU EVER SEEN A DINOSAUR?!?!? LIKE THOSE THINGS ARE REAL. THEY WERE ALIVE. THEY FUCKING RULED THE EARTH. HAVE YOU SEEN A STEGOSAURUS?!?!?!?!?

64. What do you think about babies?

I like babies a lot. Like so much. I have super colourful hair, too, so they seem fascinated with me :') but their little chubby cheeks omg

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

Fun fact: I actually really like the smell of wet dog. It's kind of a really comforting smell.

[atypical60]

Far be it to not take advantage of Oona’s pre-wedding events to not make it about me. OK?

Remember.  It’s all about MOI!!!!

Anyway, last weekend I flew to Cincinnati for Oona’s Bridal Shower.  You saw a sneak peak at my last blog post but I’m gonna elaborate more on the weekend.

And boy was this a fantastic Bridal Brunch!!

As the Mother-of-the-Bride naturally.

Number 4 is the only one Oona has stressed.  I did that at her shower when we all introduced ourselves.  My sense of humor got the best of me as I introduced myself as “…..as Oona exited my Origin of the World…”  immediately, I was pulled aside and warned in a kind way to NOT say anything like that at the wedding.  (shhhh–don’t tell but I don’t follow rules!)

I took Friday off from work because I wanted a true three-day weekend.  That’s the thing about working in a low-level clerical position—you need permission to get a day off.  In my other places of employment, it was much easier to finagle time off as a freebie—trust me.   I also worked my schedule out to accommodate leaving early on Thursday afternoon so I could fly from Philly to Cincy and enjoy a few extra hours of fun time.

I also took Friday casual to Thursday!  I travel in comfort, but not like a slob! J. Crew and Gabor wigs assisted me!  Mother-of-the Bride travel attire!

It’s not how it started out though.

For some reason, either I hit horrific weather or I have a displeasure of a delayed flight whenever I travel.  I kid you not.  And about 45 minutes before we were to board the plane, an announcement was made that the flight to Cincinnati would be delayed.

Welcome to my jet-sit world.  I spend more time waiting than flying!  I have to say though, that Delta made every effort and boarded us very quickly when the plane arrived!

Besides having an inner hissy-fit, I dealt with this issue by stress eating not one pretzel, but an additional bucket of pretzel nuggets.  Fresh and hot off the press.  The carbs were murder on my gut but felt so good going down.  I also ate a giant bag of peanut M & M’s.  And read trashy magazines.

And an added surprise was that these nuggets of carbs were also drenched in greasy melted butter.  I wonder why the scale isn’t giving me nicer numbers!!

The plane finally arrived and this Mother-of-the-Bride landed after ten in the evening to rain!  I was two for two.  A delay and rain.  It was shocking that a snow storm hadn’t hit!

Cincinnati here I come…

To rain and a delayed flight….

Now…upon departing the flight, one would think I ran to the airport exit to see Oona and Sam.  No.  CVG is a GREAT airport.  It’s so clean and spacious so I couldn’t resist dawdling (now we know where my son, Roman, acquired the gift of dawdle…).  I came across a cosmetics vending machine!  But I didn’t buy anything!

Why couldn’t I find this at Philly airport during the delay?

Then I came across my favorite part of the airport!  Them bones!

Some stop to smell the roses.  I stop to take photos at airports of skeletal treasure!

But it was great to be back at Oona and Sam’s and playing around with my grand puppy, Gracie.

My boo, Gracie.  OMG. She’s so well-behaved..

Oona and Sam are such great doggie parents…I KNOW they will be fantastic human parents!

Friday brought sun and clouds and brisk weather but it didn’t matter.  There’s something comforting in knowing that your daughter and her future husband can brew a great cuppa coffee.  They make it strong—just the way I love it.  And we sat around gabbing before getting ready and heading out to run errands.

The Mr. Coffee is far better than the grandpa Mr. Coffee we have at home.

Even little Gracie was beggin’ for some!

Ahhhhhhhhh…cawfee!!!

Oona had a nail appointment, and since my nails were looking fine, I passed but kept her company while we discussed family and the wedding preparations.

This freakin’ nail salon!  It went on for days!  I was jealous–but then Oona told me the price of a mani-pedi and I was glad to be living in the Northeast where nail salons are plentiful….and far less expensive!

Next stop was Marshalls –Oona picked some workout clothing (I didn’t –I’m lazy).  And I headed for the cosmetics.  Glory be to Gawd—I found two great eyeshadow palettes!

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More on these palettes for my next blog post but boy….at $7.99 each, these palettes were a steal!

We did some food shopping—Sam’s birthday was Friday and his family was coming over for dinner.  Oona looked pensive as she realized time was of the essence—she had to head back to the airport to pick up her best friend and maid-of-honor, Lauren.

Did I say food shopping? I sent this pic to Bonaparte to validate that Pennsylvania is the worst state in the USA because of the State-run, Mob-type Liquor stores!  You can by this at Trader Joes in Cincy!

And that’s where mom comes in—I assured her I could take care of the cake and she could head to the airport for alone time with her bestie!

BTW, this cake is gluten-free, chemical and preservative-free, sugar free, and lower-fat!  Oona added Sam’s favorite candy–Reeses Pieces which are NOT lower fat nor sugar free!  But it was a tasty Birthday cake!

Friday evening, Sam’s family came over for a birthday celebration. Being with Sam’s family is like being with……………. family!!  We all had a great time and I was introduced to a spectacular aperitif/cocktail:  The Aperol Spritz!  This concoction of Aperol, Prosecco, and Seltzer with a slice of orange is the most refreshing drink I’ve ever downed!

You read it first.  Moving forward, the Aperol Spritz will now be called “Mother-of-the-Bride”.   There will be an open bar at the wedding but I may smuggle my private makings!  There’s only 148 calories in one of these!

I drank a lot of them during the weekend.  In fact, as I write this now, I informed the Frenchman that I’ll be stopping at the store for Aperol, Prosecco and seltzer!  He is a bit upset that I am forgoing the beloved Kir Royal but the Aperol Spritz has less calories and with the wedding countdown, every calorie counts!

Saturday was a full day!

Let me tell you something.  Oona and Lauren spent a long time getting their hair perfectly coifed.  Lauren is great with styling and she styled Oona’s hair in perfect beach waves.

I plopped my Jamison wig on—and had extra time to loll around in bed! Oh, the beauty of wigs!

Jamison and Lilly Pulitzer.  You can’t go wrong!

The shower/bruncheon was at LouVino, a Southern-inspired restaurant and wine bar downtown Cincinnati.  What a great place!  The celebration was downstairs in a private room and Oona’s friends, coworkers, future sisters-in-law, mother-in-law and relatives were in attendance.

The upstairs wine bar at LouVino’s. I’m recommending this place to out-of-town guests for Oona’s wedding!

The downstairs room where the brunch was held…

Thanks to Sam’s sisters, the table settings were beautiful..

  Mimosas kept us refreshed and hydrated!

Oh yeah, and water (in the background) also kept us hydrated.  The food was so great that I never took a pic–I was too busy shoveling the Warm Brussels Salad into my mouth!

We played girlie games.  I won Scattergories.  But the best game was where Oona had to guess answers to questions that Sam answered in advance.  For ever wrong answer, a wad of bubble gum was placed in Oona’s mouth!  It was a riot!

It was only natural that I took myself out of the “Guess the Age” game.  I’m no cheater!

Miss Oona getting ready for more bubble gum!  She actually did a great job.  Out of 30 questions, she got 2/3’s correct!

The prize for the Scattergories win..a cute mug and a Starbucks card!!!!!!!!!!! 

Some of the gifts.  Crate & Barrel is very popular–eh???

Happy little wine glasses…

Happy little Oona!

The baking girl was thrilled to receive mixing bowls.  Did I mention I gifted her with a Stainless Kitchen Aid Mixer…just like mine?  I swear the baking is genetic!

This.  This was on Oona’s wish list and she was so happy to receive this!  (Hmmmm maybe she’ll give me her Mr. Coffee machine…)

BFF’s.  They’ve been friends since middle-school.  Two beauties!

This photo of us was taken after I was crying…

..and this is why.  Lauren, Oona’s BFF and Maid of Honor, gifted Sam’s mom and me with embroidered hankies.  Both moms were crying because it was just a touching and generous gift!   I’m crying again!

I was very happy to be in attendance.  Oona didn’t want a shower in Philly simply because she felt that asking my side of the family and her Northeast friends, was asking them to spend too much money—what with the travel to Ohio and the hotel, she wanted to keep expenses down for everyone.  You know—I was very proud of her decision.  I think I raised a very conscientious young woman!

  And the fact Sam’s family has welcomed Oona really made me feel warm and fuzzy inside!

May I present the future Mrs. Butts.  Coming from a very competitive family, it pleases me to have my daughter’s future last name be greatness such as this.  When/if they have children and their children are in competitive activities, they can hashtag:  #MyButtsgonnakickyours  or… #Buttsbekickin’

Some after-brunch fun.  Isn’t that dress adorable?  It’s a Lilly Pulitzer..and those shoes!  The daughter has great taste..and she’s gorgeous!

By the time we got back to the house, the rain came and it was time to head to Sam’s mom’s home for a casual, laid back and fun dinner!

And more Aperol Spritzes!

The recipe?  Three parts Prosecco, Two parts Aperol, One part (a splash) Seltzer and an orange slice to make it nice!

Sunday morning brought forth a bit of a hangover and the flight back to Philly.  Isn’t it funny how when you wish for a delay, the flight is on time?

Gracie was sad to see me go.  I was sad to see me go!

  Minimal dawdling on the return.  There was no delay.  WAIT!  Does that say Air France?  Yeah…but it’s the plane back to Philly…

And despite the timeliness of the flight home, I did manage to get this sweatshirt as a reminder of a great weekend!

I arrived back home Sunday afternoon.  When Bonaparte picked me up, I’m not too sure he was happy to see me because he kept mentioning how tired I looked.  He was right. I had a bad hangover    FOODover, because of all the food I ate.

Yeah. I pretty-much crashed when I arrived home.  Funny how I still think I’m in my twenties sometimes!

Do you ever get sad when you leave someplace and someone?�� I was incredibly sad to leave but after I arrived home and unpacked and got to telling the Frenchman about the weekend, the sadness lifted and I felt really happy.  Happy that I was able to enjoy the weekend with my daughter and her future family! And happy to be back sitting next to my husband on the sofa!

And she’s the reason the weekend was a stellar one!  My baby is getting married!

More Mother-of-the-Bride Fun! Far be it to not take advantage of Oona’s pre-wedding events to not make it about me.

[theimpossiblypurplecollecti-blog]

This Goes Out To The One Person Who Needs to Know This

For ten months I have loved you, for ten months I have been happy with you, ten months of memories and laughs and adventures

And recently, you left that to figure out your feelings because there was someone new in the picture. Someone better.

Yes we had our problems, April was a mess but obviously something that wouldn’t happen ever again in a lifetime. Something that my apologies showed more than what I said but in my actions. Yes I had bad anxiety, yes I had bad temper, but I’m someone that is willing to fix that. I am willing to admit I need help and get the help I need. and I have been doing really good with both anxiety and anger. But you wouldn’t be able to see that because your eyes are set on someone else

We had our problems, but we also had much more of the good times. 

Don’t forget 12/11/16 when I first asked you out, and I was nervous as hell even thought I knew you liked me, and I tried asking in a cute way but messed up probably

Don’t forget that first Christmas. I went crazy trying to figure out what was the best thing to get you, and in the end it wasn’t too great and you got me this really amazing gift

Don’t forget the first time I said I love you, and it slipped right out of my mouth and I got so embarrassed and walked quickly down the hallway. Soon later, I think the same day, I said it again not slipping it

Don’t forget chorus hallway hug,our first kiss outside and I was so scared afterwards if I was bad at it. All the chorus hallways that tasted like cherry chapstick or who knows what flavor

Remember 1 month, 2 months, Valentine’s Day when I showed up with a balloon that I had planned for so long and chocolates, flowers and a bear. You gave e that comical print out and that book that made me look very “different” but I still read all the time and everything else

Remember going to Tim Hortens on our first date and I wanted to kiss you but didn’t, and I spilled tea on myself and read your aura and that guy looked at me like wtf

Remember 3 months, remember Easter when I got you the chocolate and the bunny who is always in the way and we were afraid of eating in front of each other but we eventually did

Remember all the times we walked and took pictures, and I dropped my camera like an idiot. And yeah it was cold but we didn’t care we were having fun

Remember all the times we lay in bed and cuddle, feel each other’s warmth, maybe watch some netflix, maybe take a nap, or simply just talk about anything and everything

snowball was great, you looked so beautiful and we finally got to slow dance, as well as break it down

Remember going to the Sabres Game with your grandparents, you were all dressed up in the colors and I was so nervous on meeting them. I tried to kiss your cheek and he wouldn’t let me but it was okay

What about 4 months, it was a wreck in the beginning but at then end it was incredible, and you told me things that stuck in my heart till this day because they meant so much to me

5 months was an emotional day and it was still incredible, we layed in bed and talked and balled our eyes out, and we found our song as well as other great hits, and again things were said that mean everything to me

Memorial Day your family had that big party and more and more people got to meet the awkward me but still had a good time, and at the end of the day we slow danced on some muddy ground to our song and others and didn’t care who saw

6 Months, we both got each other a cake and I showed up to your door with roses, pictures, a stuffed animal and the promise ring and I looked into your beautiful brown eyes and promised my heart out to the one person ho deserves it, to the one person and only person that I want to spend every day with. You gave me that beautiful rainbow rose that I look at everyday and recollect that day

My birthday you got me the mouse pad, and you thought it wasn’t much but I love it and express more love than any other gift there is, we had a fire outside which took probably 50 matches to get going but we got it and made smores and listened to some oldies as well our song and we slow danced again and it touched my heart

Summer was so nice, we would see each other everyday, sometimes go up to Dollar Tree, or get ice cream, or down to the park, or even just stay inside and enjoy each other’s company

7 months goes by and it was great, August comes 8 months was incredible, and in August both of our grandpa’s pass away. And when you were crying at the funeral you squeezed my hand tight and balled and I was there for you. As I stood at Papa’s casket and couldn’t handle it you were there to help me, you were the one who convinced me to go up closer when I thought I couldn’t

Remember going down the creek and taking pictures of anything and everything, exploring trails and paths, just enjoying each other’s presence in nature

9 months was great, remember Homecoming? Last year I met you at homecoming and this year you were my date! we never got to slow dance but that’s okay I still enjoyed the night with you

10 months was great and the day before I surprised you with little notes in your locker because I knew you were stressed out and needed that extra boost of encouragement

My heart is set on you, your beautiful brown eyes I could gaze into for days, that soft hair no matter what color was incredible (oh god remember trying to dye it...), your smile that lit up my world, your voice that was the best harmony I could ever listen to, your touch. One of the best things was your personality, your kind heart that glowed, your intelligence and humor, your good character that radiated. In the end I didn’t care if you had makeup on or not, or how certain parts were, your heart is beautiful and that’s what I always saw

I am asking you to look in your heart and see that we can get through this. We got through everything else, haven’t we? That rain poured on us for months, do you really think we can’t get through this now? You are strong, I am strong, and together we are unstoppable. I believe in us. No more anxiety attacks, no more raising voices, no more miscommunication, no more stress. 

I’m madly in love with you Lexie Hester, and I want you to always know that

We can get through this like everything else and come out even stronger

[battlebornpeacemaker]

I got tagged by @misscleverlesbian like a while ago to do this so finally here we go (she did a cool thing where she put it under the cut so I am also gonna do that)

I tag @frxnkenstein @thenamesstark @butterfliesanddeadstars and um @bannettee if you guys want to, no big deal of course.

The Last:

1. Drink: Uhhhh I’m drinking a Monster right now but I guess the last one I technically finished was a Dr. Pepper

2. Phone Call: My mom lmao I needed her help buying textbooks for a couple of my classes

3. Text message: was to my girlfriend <3

4. Song you listened to: it was Me You by Russ

5. Time you cried: I think like last Wednesday night once I was like moved into my dorm and it really hit me that I was away from all of my friends

6. Dated somebody twice: I have never. I only have one ex and that was a mess and then my current girlfriend soooo

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 

8. Have been cheated on: I mean as far as I am aware nope. There hasn’t really been a whole lot of opportunity

9. Lost someone close: I lost my grandpa a couple years ago but he and I weren’t super close so...i mean close enough it still really sucked.

10. Been depressed:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: ummmm February....yeah...don’t drink kids

12. Favourite colours to wear: um I really like greys and blues and I have a lot of black so

In The Last Year Have You:

13. Made new friends: oh for sure. I made a bunch of friends in Ohio this time or soon after last year plus a few since I got back. Plus I made a bunch of friends at camp this summer

14. Fallen out of love: lmao no

15. Laughed until you cried: i mean every now and then a tear will come to my eyes but it isn’t really crying but like yeah sure probably

16. Found out somebody was talking about you: yeah camp drama is stupid but somehow I always end up thrown into it

17. Met somebody who changed you: oh definitely I have made a bunch of new friends who have shown me new ways to look at things or have made me try to look at myself in a more positive view so 

18. Found out who your friends are: i mean I found out who is willing to put in the effort to be my friend if i don’t see them every day so i guess that counts

19. Kissed someone on your Facebook: yepppp

20. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them????

21. Do you have any pets: my guys I have a bunch...dogs, cats, snake, gecko, fish...so many...my house is a zoo

22. Do you want to change your name: I used to when I was younger bc nobody can pronounce it or spell it but I think it is pretty cool now so nah

23. What did you do for your last birthday: well I spent most of the day driving my friend around so that she could get all of her pre-hire shit done for camp but then some of my friends at camp surprised me with an ice cream cake and presents and it was super nice and they waited until we could be alone bc they knew I don’t like making a big deal out of it

24. What time did you wake up: like 7:30...yeah I wanted to talk to my girlfriend before she went to work

25. What were you doing at midnight: sleeping??? skyping???? sleeping while skyping? who knows time isn’t real...

26. Name something you can’t wait for: Thanksgiving break so I can go hoooome and see my girlfriend (and like obviously also my friends...and family)

27. When was the last time you saw your mom: last Monday before I left for school

28. What are you listening to right now: currently Prisoners by Our Last Night

29. Have you ever talked to somebody named Tom: lmao yeah my uncle is named Tom

30. Something that gets on your nerves: it bugs me when people start to say something that sounds important and then say nevermind...ugh

31. Most visited website: honestly probably this hellsite

32. Hair colour: it’s like blondish redish...i dunno

33. Long or short hair: very short. like i need to rebuzz it but basically very very short

34. Do you have a crush on somebody: i mean.....my girlfriend is kinda cute idk

35. What do you like about yourself: I’m really dedicated to the things that I believe in and I stand up for them. I also hardcore support my friends

36. Piercings: I have my ears double pierced and then my cartilage on my left ear plus my nose

37. Blood type: O maybe...probably...yeah

38. Nickname: Teag, Dad

39. Relationship status: Don’t know if I have mentioned it but I have an amazing girlfriend

40. Zodiac: gemini...i know i know

41. Pronouns: she/her? I guess

42. Favourite tv shows: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Breakout Kings

43. Tattoos: I have like 7... 3 on my feet, 1 on my ankle, 1 on my wrist, 1 on my shoulder, and 1 on my arm

44. Right or left handed: right

45. Surgery: i got my wisdom teeth taken out...does that count?

46. Sport: I used to play soccer and volleyball and a little bit of rugby

47. Vacation: I honestly want to go everywhere so....last one i took tho...probably a couple years back to a ranch in the hill country

48. Pair of trainers: I haven’t bought any in the last year but I finally started wearing a new pair since I trashed my last ones

49. Eating: I mean I had a microwave pizza and some cookies for dinner bc I am an adult

50. Fav drink: ummm I really like monsters, and sweet tea, and normal tea

51. What you’re up to: Avoiding reading my Accounting textbook honestly

52. Waiting for: my girlfriend to call me

53. Want: for my dorm to be fucking warmer instead of a tundra or you know to see my friends and girlfriend in person again whatever

54. Get married: I want to some day...but I’m 19 rn sooo not the ideal time you know

55. Career: some sort of developmental biology research

56. Hugs or kisses: kisses...the closeness of a hug but better

57. Lips or eyes: fuck...both.................if i gotta choose one then eyes

58. Shorter or taller: shorter

59. Older or younger: older...but just a little bit...like 7 months

60. Nice arms or stomach: ummmm idc....arms maybe?

61. Hook up or relationship: relationship for sure

62. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant honestly

63. Kissed a stranger: nope

64. Drank hard liquor: lmao yeah...yikes

65. Lost glasses: nope bc these things are always on my fucking face bc I am blind

66. Turned someone down: i mean like not specifically...definitely done the not interested vibe but never actually said no to someone asking me out

67. Sex on the first date: depends on the person but sure

68. Broken someone’s heart: I doubt it

69. Had your heart broken: like....kinda...i dunno that’s really dramatic...but yeah kinda

70. Been arrested: nope

71. Cried when someone died: I mean yeah it sucks when people die

72. Fallen for a friend: yepppp

Do You Believe In:

73. Yourself: I mean I am trying to...it’s a process

74. Miracles: no

75: Love at first sight: no i think love is something that you have to make and put effort into

76. Santa Claus: nah

77. Kiss on the first date: sure

78: Angels: not particularly 

Other:

79. Eye Colour: blue

80. Favourite movie: standalone movie- Fight Club movie set- Back to the Future

[welovejessicaszohr]

Call it the Proust effect: Memories are often triggered by smells. Scientific studies confirm that out of all the senses, smell offers the best recall. In Scent Memories, the Cut asks people about the scents they associate with different times in their lives. Next up is actress Jessica Szohr, who recently collaborated with luxury home fragrance brand Apotheke to create Kai Rose, a modern, airy scent with a stylish, limited-edition candle to match. Inspired by Szohr’s grandfather and his positive perspective on life, the scent is a fresh and energizing blend of rose, tuberose, jasmine, cyclamen, geranium, white hawthorn, musk, and amber. The Cut caught up with Szohr to talk lemonade, lip balm, and the man behind the scent.

My first scent memory is: A lilac tree in my childhood backyard. I don’t think I really realized it until later on in life, in high school, when I would walk past a lilac tree and it would bring back this really great feeling. Not quite goose bumps, but something that made go, Oh my God, I love that smell so much, and it would bring me back to that beautiful lilac tree. It was the most stunning smell and our whole backyard would smell like it when the winds picked up.

Happiness smells like: My nieces, Harper and Rani. Harper is 5, and Rani is just a month old. Every time I’m around them, or get pictures of them, or FaceTime them, or smell them when I’m home, it’s just pure happiness. There’s nothing else like it. They just make me happy.

Love smells like: My boyfriend. He has his cologne smell, which is Dolce & Gabbana, I’m pretty sure. But I don’t even know if it’s that I love that smell, it’s more I just love smelling him.

Friendship smells like: Lemonade. I’m not sure if that’s from when I was a kid doing lemonade stands with my friends in the neighborhood, or going on a hike on a nice summer day and getting a lemonade after, or grabbing drinks with my friends and getting a vodka-soda with a lemon. I don’t know, but a fresh-squeezed lemonade reminds of a nice friendship. Not just “lemonade” — fresh-squeezed lemonade.

Heartbreak or loss smells like: This may seem kind of odd, but the first I thought was vanilla. I don’t love the smell of it, it’s just very blah to me, and heartbreak and loss are not great feelings, obviously. It’s wild — I think most people love the smell of it, and I just don’t.

Regret smells like: Tequila. I can smell a headache the next morning whenever I smell it.

Success smells like: Old Spice and leather. My grandpa always smelled like Old Spice, and he always had two things that smelled like leather: hHs bible and his briefcase. He succeeded in so many things in life, and not in what, on paper, most people would think of, like having this successful business and making all this money. He did have a great successful family business, but he succeeded in being a very happy person, living life very simply, and making other people very happy without trying. It was just his vibe and energy. He didn’t need much, and [it took] very little to make him happy, and his energy rubbed off on any person that walked into his life; he’s the most special person ever.

A pleasant surprise smells like: A piece of birthday cake. But I feel like, nine times out of ten, people see the cake coming, even though people try to surprise you. Either that or lip chap, which is what my boyfriend calls it because he’s Canadian, but it’s just [lip balm], a very generic ChapStick. He’ll sneak up behind me to give me a kiss on the cheek, and he smells like it because he always has it on.

The worst smell is: Rotten eggs.

Vacation smells like: Ocean water, sand, and, sunscreen.

Sunday morning  smells like: Breakfast in bed: eggs and bacon.

Monday morning smells like: Coffee with French-vanilla creamer.

My home smells like: A mixture of different candles and fresh flowers. Every week I have to have fresh flowers in my place, and every day I have a candle burning in a few different rooms. So you could walk into one room and it’ll be a rose candle with lilies in a vase and another room could be tulips with the Kai candle. It all meshes and goes well together, but you’re kind of like, There’s a lot of fresh-smelling things going on … But I always have my windows open, so it’s always airy. People are like, “Do you ever close your windows?” And I’m like, No, not really. [Laughs.]

If I could have one smell on my hands forever, it would it be: Rose water. I go through a little bottle of rose water probably once a week, and I just love the smell on my face and the smell on my hands. I use a rose lotion on my hands as well.

I smell like: This is going to hit right on the nose, but I’m being honest: Between the oils that I use in my perfume, my rose water, and my rose lotion, I smell pretty much like Kai rose. You can smell the rose, but it’s very light and airy at the same time.

[spudmcloughlin]

14, 20, 33 & 36 for "talk about" thing (◠﹏◠✿)

14: Talk about a vacation

Oh boy here we go. So we just got back from a vacation but I’d hardly call it a “vacation” cos the only one that enjoyed it was my dad and my mom and aunt made it more stressful than it should’ve been. That being said...

So we pack up the truck and drive for 4 HOURS just to get out of Florida. It’s fuckin huge and if you really tried you could probably make a trip from Tallahassee to Miami a solid 10 hours. We go up through Georgia and into Tennessee (and the whole time I’m counting the different license plates I see), and we stopped for the night at Athena Inn. Boy was that a fuckin mistake. The room was nice and the shower was fucking BOMB and there was a circle K right next to the motel where I got a Cherry Garcia but that’s about where the benefits stop. We got there at like 10:30 and settled into the room at 11 but what we didn’t realise was that there was a club next door. I was just too tired and fell asleep really fast but my mom apparently couldn’t get to sleep all night because of the people going back and forth from the club on the street and of course our room faces the street. So the inn itself was ok but it could’ve picked somewhere better to be. So then we drive another million hours the next day and stop in Cincinnati in the prettiest Embassy Suites I’ve ever seen. We went to dinner at this Firehouse Grill where we had like the best waitress ever and we kept seeing this other waiter just all grumpy and mad about something he looked like he wanted to burn the place down. That didn’t happen and I had the best chili ever. Not really but it was good chili. So then the next day WE GO TO KINGS FUCKING ISLAND. Of course my dad and sister and I went immediately to hit the Beast but it was closed so we hit the Diamondback and Mystic Timbers and THEN went on the Beast. My sister was near tears in the line but when we got off she begged us to go again. So we spent the day there and like halfway through the day we went on the log flume in Planet Snoopy which was a bad idea because for the rest of the day I walked around in soggy socks and tennis shoes. #worthit

We crashed at the hotel again and I took some of their conditioner the next morning before we left and we drove another couple hours to Tappan Lake because apparently Kings Island WASN’T the main part of the vacation. Dammit. My aunt and uncle have an RV in this trailer park in Literally Nowhere, OH so we camped in that for a week and a half. Oh and there was ZERO cell service. We did get out though, we ate at restaurants more than we ate at the RV. Father’s Day was on my grandpa’s birthday this year and since he just passed we all got together with all of the family at Tuscora Park. I saw cousins I didn’t even know I had. So I thought it was gonna be all about grandpa but nah we just kinda did our own thing. I went on this shitty roller coaster that probably could’ve broken my back if I went on it a few more times. Then the Shoe Incident.

My sister was playing with my little cousin Vivian and somehow Vivi’s shoe ends up on top of the pavilion we set everything up under. Since my sister and I are the tallest ones there probably, WE had to get it. I climb up and sit on my sister’s shoulders but I couldn’t reach it. My uncle gets an extension cord and tries to lasso it from a distance, then gives it to me to try to lasso it from up close. Nope. THEN AUNT LORI COMES BACK FROM HER CAR WITH A METAL DETECTOR. I get up on my sister’s shoulders yet again with the metal detector in my hand and I scrape the top of the roof with it and at this point my entire family has stopped whatever they were doing to watch us. I still couldn’t reach it so I tell my sister to get up onto the concrete foundation making us 2 inches taller. Let me repeat that. MY 10-YEAR-OLD SISTER STEPPED UP ONTO A 2-INCH HIGH CONCRETE FOUNDATION WHILE I WAS SITTING ON HER SHOULDERS AND HAD BEEN FOR PROBABLY A TOTAL OF 5 MINUTES. THAT BITCH MAY BE REAL ANNOYING BUT I WILL NEVER DENY HER STRENGTH. I scrape the top of the roof again and my mom yells that I got it, so I just keep doing the same motion over and over until FINALLY Vivian’s blue flip flop falls down onto the ground. You’re probably reading this and sarcastically saying “Oh sure and then everyone clapped” AND YOU WOULD BE RIGHT BITCH MY ENTIRE FAMILY CHEERED FOR US BECAUSE WE GOT THE FLIP FLOP DOWN. And after that people started leaving and then my parents took me and all my siblings to my aunt Kathy’s house where we crashed for the night and ate all of her cookies (which were fucking amazing and she gave me the recipe for them bitchhhhhh). After that it was kind of a blur, I FORGOT TO SAY the aunt and uncle that own the RV also have a houseboat which my sisters and brother and I all stayed on for like 3 days and we were on the lake the whole time and when I went back to the RV it all felt super wobbly but bitch I got to swim in a deep-ass lake so it was worth it

When we left on Friday we went to North Carolina so my sister could see her internet girlfriend like bitch I should’ve been first wait your turn. She was super cute and kind of goals and we all went out to dinner together and my sister spent the night at her house while we all went to another Embassy Suites get rekt bitch. This one had a fucking RIVER RUNNING THROUGH IT. There was a big rock fountain and a ton of koi and a bridge and everything it was beautiful. We only stayed for a night though but whatever but then we went to Savannah, GA and walked around downtown which was cool bc there were street performers and painters and tons of people and it felt really lively. We went to a restaurant for dinner (go figure) and then got back to whatever hotel we stayed in and idk what we did really but then the next day we came back home and it felt really weird and I’m still adjusting to not having to walk down the street to use the bathroom and not having to press the button 80 times in the shower for the water to come on like I did at the RV park. Anyway yeah despite everything we did it was kinda sucky but if we were in a hotel the whole time instead of Literally Nowhere it would’ve been bomb. So that was my Ohio “vacation”.

20: Talk about something that happened in high school

Last year was my freshman year so I don’t have much but I made some of the best and the worst friends ever. I had an amazing geometry teacher and he made me really love that class, I had a friend that moved schools halfway through the year so that kinda sucked, I took college classes (I still am over summer ughhhh), I was on the swim team, I passed out (not in school) when it was hot, I had a huge hoodie on, I hadn’t eaten or drank anything all day, and I stood up real fast. I was at the swim club waiting for my sister’s practice to finish when I got up to get water and as I was going up the boardwalk stairs I felt lightheaded and my vision started to go, then the next thing I knew I couldn’t see anything and I felt something hit my leg (which was really me falling on the boardwalk). Then when I opened my eyes I had like 5 moms surrounding me asking if I was okay and what happened and do I need water and of course that stressed me the fuck out because I didn’t know what happened and I didn’t see my mom hovering above me like a vulture like everyone else was so I started crying. Then my mom finally came over and took me inside and the coach at the club got me a bag of ice and a Coke and I just kinda sat there for the rest of the time while my sister swam. Also side note I was carrying my phone when I passed out and when I looked over it flew out of my hand and it was by the door like what if some bitch took it while I was laying there unconscious for 3 seconds. So that was kind of the highlight of my year. OH also someone at school died of bone cancer on a Friday and then over the weekend a senior committed suicide so that was really fucking sad but then on either Monday or Tuesday there were  tons of sticky notes all over the lockers and around the school saying things like “you matter” and “you are loved” and that kind of thing and it was really sweet.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad

If I’m really upset about something, I’ll usually lay on my bed and cry for a bit. I don’t do anything to stop being sad I just let it happen. If I’m just feeling down for seemingly no reason, I leave my room, go downstairs, get water, do something that gets me out of my room and I would say I would take a walk but I really don’t. And sometimes I watch youtube because Shane’s giant cake videos are incredibly stupid and I love them

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures

Laying on my bed all day watching youtube or listening to music, not doing anything or getting up at all for any reason. Most likely it’s on a rainy gloomy day. Also baking. I can’t go a week without baking which was another reason the vacation kinda sucked.

Thank you for asking!!!

Talk about...

[westfivestory]

One With The Couch

I did it, I spent the entire weekend doing nothing with the kids…and yes…it was awesome and entirely by choice. I might have to do this more often because those bags that were so prominent under my eyes on Friday…seem like nothing more than a distant memory now.

The Diet

Yep, you read that right…the diet.

Now I can’t say for sure if it is a diet or “a lifestyle change” cause we all hate the “d” word, but since I’m not fooling anyone anymore and have zero interest in squeezing into spanx or whatever is the going trend, I’m going to attempt it.

The one thing I’ve learned…first of all, the food is pretty awesome, I’m not going to lie, I rarely get through reading the menu of a diet, let alone actually eating it, but this one is pretty great. No sugar that isn’t in the fruits etc., that may be my down fall. I have noticed that I do fine all day until supper is done and then the sugar and caffeine deprivation gets to me and I cave. So technically I have lost nothing yet. I need to either empty my house of junk food or have some one follow me around and slap me every time I do the unthinkable…reach for the cookie jar, bag of chips or that glass of pop.

Motivation just doesn’t seem to matter at this time of the day. Maybe getting off the couch will be the key to success, as long as that doesn’t draw me straight into the kitchen.

CBD Oil

We are still trying this. Maybe we need to try a stronger dosage…I really don’t know anymore. Is it the solution. If it is that would be awesome, I’m just wondering when the signs point to No?

I was approached to sell it. A MLM type of thing, much like Avon, Rodan & Fields etc. After some research and thought, I think I will stick to sampling and seeing where we can get the best for her, if that is the solution that works. The grade level I already have is higher than what they want me to sell. So I can’t see it being more beneficial to her. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s what research on Google says.

As we all know, you should always believe what you see on the internet.

Well, maybe not always, but in this case, I’m good with my findings.

A Milestone 

One little man is turning 6 tomorrow and he is so excited he can barely contain himself.

Apparently, being 6 opens up opportunities you wouldn’t even imagine. He believes that when he wakes up in the morning, he can literally do anything and everything that he always wanted to do but wasn’t allowed.

He seems to think he has more privileges tomorrow than his 10-year-old brother, I’m not sure where he is getting this information, but if he has these ideas, this year might be a bit of a rude awakening for him. We might have to ease into these new and oh so exciting firsts.

I guess we will see what tomorrow brings. Which side of the bed and which insane hairstyle accompanies that attitude. It’s always a guessing game.

Happy Birthday Gunnar!!!

The first thing he asked when he woke up this morning, “so I’m six now? It’s my birthday?”

I said “No, sorry, that was yesterday, you slept through the entire day, it’s now Valentine’s Day, you better get ready for school.”

“Did I get my presents?”

No, you were asleep, we didn’t go anywhere.”

“How come you didn’t wake me up?”

“We tried, but you were out cold.”

“Oh…when is my birthday going to be?”

“In a year.”

He believed me more or less all day. I even drove him up to the school doors. Mean, maybe, but we did go out and have an awesome day regardless.

First stop, after the school parking lot….Toad Hall Toys.

  We tried on costumes, played with toys, checked out the lizards and had an all around awesome time. All we left with was a lollipop and slime. Just the necessities.

Next stop…Polo Park…the Lego Store was the intended stop, but we got side tracked. So the first store was Pylon, we snuck out before buying anything. We explored the Lego Store and only left with a small Lego character before heading back to Pylon and getting a Black Panther stuffy.

Phew, now with that all done, we were hungry…Subway it is.

The lady working laughed as Gunnar explained that he would get a 6″ out of a foot long. He has a way of explaining things that really are just more confusing. Now with lunch out of the way, we nearly ran through the mall to reach our car in time to have plenty of free time to jump.

Unfortunately as we walked out of the mall, I realized Gunnar did not have the Hot Topic bag with all of his presents including his new Dead Pool wallet. Oh shit. Back in to the mall we go, this time running back to Just Cozy, I found some slippers, the Food Court, the washroom, Hot Topic, no bag, but we did learn where guest services was, so fingers crossed we made our way there to see if we were lucky enough that someone would have brought our stuff to lost and found.

Apparently we have some pretty amazing horse shoes hung somewhere and right on the counter, there was our bag with all of our items. Yay!!! Birthday saved. Thank you, whoever you are. You really made his day and mine. Faith in humanity restored. Now off to jump.

We hit up Flying Squirrel. They gave Gunnar the toddler rate, which was awesome. It was a blast, we hit each other with battle bumpers on a balance beam, took a turn at tight rope walking (we have no future in the circus), played basketball, swung from a rope onto an air bed, and jumped like crazy all over the indoor park. It was so much fun. Gunnar figures he made a new friend, the guy that worked there was super nice and showed him flips over one of the track areas. Definitely a cool place to check out. I think we will likely go again.

  After all the jumping and a slurpee to go, we were off to our next adventure.

Walmart…we needed supper food. What to get when you are 6 for your birthday dinner? You guessed it, hot dogs, chips, chocolate cake and pumpkin pie. Why not?

We had supper just our family, but our neighbors and J joined us for cake and pie.

We had a great day. One that this little man will be looking forward to until next year. He even got a video chat with grandma and grandpa. He was so excited to show them everything he had gotten today and to tell them all about his day.

Wipeout

While getting things ready for the Winter Carnival, and looking out for the safety of our guests, we should and did test out the sledding run ourselves, and if nothing else, occasionally a well-deserved break is in order.

One of my co-workers had an inflatable sled and I was equipped with a crazy carpet. If we had taken bets, we would both have assumed that my ride would have been far better and faster…and we’d have both been so very very wrong.

He made it down the hill with only one hold up. I had a few very jerky moments and a complete 180 resulting in my wipeout and snow up my shirt and down my pants. Thankfully before attempting this, I did pass my phone to another co-worker to hold. Much like holding my beer, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I guess we have some packing down and touchups for the run, but in good time, it should be a pretty great hill.

If The Dress Fits

Mikayla’s dress for the gala has arrived, well technically it arrived a week ago. We have been so busy that today was the day we decided to try it out. It fits, its a little short. Might be more of a long shirt than actually considered a dress, but throwing on a pair of tights should make it all good.

What Spews Forth From The Mouths Of Babes

In this case, there are no words of encouragement or funny sayings, nope, not this time. This time it was straight up vomit…yep hearing it hit the floor from another room and that feeling of dread and also thankfulness that I wasn’t right there to get the afterspray or the visual was actually a blessing. Poor guy. His awesome birthday yesterday and the high of that moment, only to end this day crashed on the couch all evening and then to stand in a large puddle of vomit. Gives a whole new meaning to V-Day.

The Latest Stressors

For the last couple of weeks I have had minimal sleep. Yes, Mikayla still wakes me up occasionally, and as much as I have gotten used to that, the new events have also been causing restless sleep.

I have awoken at approximately 5 am each day panicking that the events will flop, no one will show and any other possible disaster that you can think of.

I for one, am super happy that its over, maybe the turn out wasn’t quite what we projected or hoped for, but the ones that did come had a blast and that is what is important.

The gala looked awesome, everyone pitched in to help make it amazing and the kids danced all night and took so many photos at the photo booth.

The winter carnival the next day was a lot of fun as well. Danek came with me to help out and there was a lot of things that he was able and more than willing to help out with. His hard work paid off and he was able to enjoy all of the winter fun, skating, sledding, hood hustle, etc.

Drained

I’m done. Before heading to work for the winter carnival, Mikayla told me I should quit my job. She is just tired and wasn’t really prepared for the early morning affecting her as much as me I guess.

Anyway, I woke up this morning, and multiple times through the movies last night and most of today and as much as I enjoy my job most of the time, I feel like I’ve been beaten up. My legs and feet are so sore from the cold and probably not sensible shoe choices, the wind burn from the carnival sucks, much like a sunburn, my face feels swollen and my lips are seriously chapped. A blanket and disappearing from the world is about all I wanted today.

I am really hoping tomorrow is better. Maybe some more sleep and relaxation will work. Thank goodness Monday is a holiday, I don’t think I’d make it into work.

February 18, 2018 One With The Couch I did it, I spent the entire weekend doing nothing with the kids...and yes...it was awesome and entirely by choice.

[russelsigmon-blog]

Coming from Chauffeur Disorder To Super Mother.

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