#5x6 joy

[ratsalad]

ok i can't tell if the shirt is grey/black or green again. or, god forbid, blue

[instruth]

BEAUTY BURIED INSIDE ME

A memory stirs - do I remember?

a door opens - what do I see?

marble slab, laid in a chamber

I am present, just me, just be

be focused, let a truth linger

Be still, be silent, be free

oh, how may I wonder?

on a marble, all alone?

and how may I ponder

until all this is done?

Dig, dig, dig no further

oh please, o strike a bone

get a chisel, grab a hammer

chip, chip, just chip away

more layers to uncover

Lost among ruins of decay

o lift the armor, and discover

in sanctity, how once, I did lay

all laid down, exposed, all clear

all my sins, my faults, I did deploy

Rage, resentment and fear

envy, unforgiveness, decoy

hurt, unworthiness, smear

insecurity, disguised as joy

chisel all parts that are not

As I have been, so created

me, imprisoned in the cot

pure beauty, procreated

an innocent bud, begot

my true self, recreated

©Johnny J P Lee

31 January 2024

A Gogyoshiren Poem 5x6 (30)

Photo Credit J. P. Lee

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Sunday, July 10

Anya: Giles! You're not dead! Giles: No. However, I am still in some pain. ANYA: Oh... Well ... why aren't you dead? Why aren't I dead?

~~Grave~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Just a Little Bit Lovesick (Angel/Spike, M) by laylowandstitch

The View from a Lockley (Kate, T) by StorygirlSidhe

Tailor-made (Giles/Lindsey, M) by sparrow2000

Holding Your Heart (Buffy/Angel, T) by Quordle

There Is No Other Troy For Me To Burn (Ensemble, PG) by Altoz

Building (Xander, Spike, T) by forsaken2003

[Chaptered Fiction]

Foray, Chapter 36 (Willow/Giles, T) by glasswrks

Anne and Other Girls I Met in a Diner, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Faith, M) by tekmandor

The Real McCoy, Chapter 4 (Ensemble, T) by michael t

Maybe Baby, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Dusty

First Alternate, Chapter 16 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Soulburnt

Le chemin, Chapter 75 (Buffy/Spike, French language, AO) by Violette-Milka

The Slayer and the Vampire, Chapter 41 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by violettathepiratequeen

Anything We Want, Chapter 31 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by scratchmeout

Something Blue's Clues, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, G) by cawthraven

The Sin That Binds Us, Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by bramcrackers

Stray, Chapter 9 (Buffy/Spike, AO) by Feanix88

All Tied Up, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by EllieRose101

This Year's Girl, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by the_big_bad

Bleedin' Hell, Bloody Heavin, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, R) by EvelynneHancock

A Warrior Royal, Chapter 1 (Crossover with Final Fantasy 7, FR21) by ShadowMaster

Date Night, Chapter 1 (Crossover with Harry Potter, Xander/Snape, FR15) by MsSunshine

The Ring Talks, Chapter 25 (Spike/Buffy, 13+) by myrabeth

A Son's Love, Chapter 12 (Spike/Buffy, 13+) by Fancyflautist

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:BTVS “Every Outfit” “the Freshman” part 2 Xx by whatshisfaceblogs

Gifset:2.03 | 7.22 by charmedbuffy

Gifset:Can you help me? I’ll help you. by toshsato

Gifset:First Date by whatisyourchildhoodtrauma

Gifset: Graduation Day part 1 by buffysummers

Gifset:Blood Ties by spuffygifs

Gifset:Spike and Buffy through the series by osansas

Meme:btvs as text posts by thepunkmuppet

Moodboard: Buffy Summers by fallensapphires

Video: BTVS girls //teen idle-Marina and the diamonds by artemisia subs

Video: Wii Fit Trainer vs. Buffy Summers by Ultimate Destiny Wrestling

[Reviews & Recaps]

When it comes to Romantic Relationships? Banter is best - or a marriage of equals. (Musings on Romantic Relationships) by shadowkat67

BACK OFF AMY ADAMS! - Buffy the Vampire Slayer Reaction - 5x6 - Family by TheLexiCrowd

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - S4 EP 18 WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE REACTION VIDEO! FIRST TIME WATCHING! by Reel Reviews With Jen!

ANGEL & DARLA FANTASY! Angel 2x3 'First Impressions' Reaction! by Elie Moses

Buffy S2 E11 - Ted - Rewatch by Chris watches stuff

BTVS Analysis: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce you've been to a place... by Twisted View

Buffy The Vampire Slayer 3x22 - "Graduation Day (Part 2)" Reaction by DodoReactions

[Fandom Discussions]

Meta on comics Spuffy and Angel by takaraphoenix

On Joss's lack of understanding why Spike is popular with women by kingbuffy

Angel should've visted Faith in s7 by isagrimorie

The Watcher's Council and Glory by isweartobreathe

Sober!Xander ask by snakeliciousbaby

Buffy is confused by Spike asking for help in S7 by silvermars

Giles doing library work by vampir4te

RECS: Spuffy style Reading Challenge - #5: The Clock Reading Challenge by mcgnagallsarmy

Discussion of Buffy the Vampire Slayer #4 - Released 4/17/19 (Boom! Studios) continued by thrasherpix

Which duo do you prefer? Holland Manners & Lindsey McDonald or Faith & The Mayor by multiple authors

POV and Reliable/Unreliable Narrators by KaitKat and multiple authors

Buffy Angel Crossovers that never Happen continued by multiple authors

The joy of the Season One scooby dynamics continued by multiple authors

The plan to poison Angel continued by vampmogs and KingOfCretins

Angel season 5 rewatch #5 Life of the Party (spoilers) continued by Stoney

With Sunnydale destroyed, where would you have set the show if it continued. by PuckRobin and American Aurora

What do Watchers who have lost a Slayer do? by PuckRobin

My favourite episode from S7 is Bring on the Night. Here’s why… by Realistic-Half9670

by Lockdownlad and multiple authors

my love hate relationship with this show by misspixal4688

Poll: Ultimate tier list- Kendra by LightBlueSky55

Poll: Ultimate tier list- Joyce by LightBlueSky55

Poll: Do you think Buffy loved Spike by the end of the series? by ceoazula

If you had only watched Restless, who would be your favorite character? by multiple authors

Any other astrology nerds out there? by multiple authors

The Body by multiple authors

POV and Reliable/Unreliable Narrators by multiple authors

The Scoobies Sometimes Kill People? by multiple authors

I can’t stand the initiative storyline in season 4. by multiple authors

how do we feel about Never Kill a Boy on the First Date? I really like the early vampire centric episodes. by multiple authors

Best quotes from Xander and Oz throughout the show? by multiple authors

The Buffyverse has had actors who perfected the British accent - what was the deal with that Brit Potential Slayer with the phony accent? by multiple authors

What if Angel had saved Wolfram and Hart from Dru and Darla? Would they had stopped messing with him or continue being evil another time by multiple authors

Knights of Byzantium by multiple authors

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

PUBLICATION: Queer As Folk Showrunner Wants To Reboot Buffy The Vampire Slayer via ScreenRant

QUIZ: The Progressively Harder Tara MaClay Quiz via WhatCulture

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[ecampbellsoup]

Season 5 is so good! I was so sad after season 4 like I thought my fav show was doomed but I'm loving season 5 so much!! How are you feeling?

hello there!

excuse the delay, nonnie! been dipping in and out this week and finally made some time for my inbox!

i am really enjoying season five! other than 5x6, i’ve loved every episode—genuinely! we’ve been gifted some spectacular moments

what disappointed me the most about season four is that after watching jamie and claire be separated for 20 years, i was very excited for marital bliss on fraser’s ridge. i anticipated fraser feelings overload.

and for me—which as always this is purely my opinion—season four just missed the mark. actually, to this day, i haven’t watched all of it *whoops*

however, however, season five feels grounded, centered and intentional. i’m verra thankful for all the precious jamie and claire moments we’ve been given. i feel that the show has done a better job of developing brianna and roger’s relationship as well. there are quite a few things to rave about this season actually.

but...will you permit me to be blunt?

i find happiness, peace, and domestic normalcy to have the potential to be powerful storytelling. to quote little women, “people writing about such things will make them important.”

i love watching jamie and claire be grandparents, be parents, be leaders on the ridge—finding them in the rhythms of life.

now, naturally, life entails a lot of suffering—especially in the time period that this story in based upon. and it’s important to not skirt around that. part of what makes jamie and claire’s story so brilliant is allllll that they have triumphed over.

but at the same time, often stories try to rely on dramatic overtures instead of leaning into the nuances that every day life affords.

personally, i find that outlander tends to swing to the overtly dramatic end of the spectrum. something i am having to come to grips with a bit—due to canon and the dynamic of storytelling that is this show—is the fact that jamie and claire still have a lotttttttt of, well, suffering left to endure.

and here is the dilemma i often find with the choices the production makes: the amount of screen time they dedicate to suffering vs peace is rarely balanced. often we trade 5 minutes of joy for 45 of agony.

please please please hear me: i still absolutely love this story. i do. and i’m not arguing to remove the adversity. but sometimes i’d appreciate a little bit more time to catch my breath before we move on to the next traumatic event these people have to endure.

i’m not sure if that even makes sense, but i’ll give you my honesty when it’s asked. cheers!

[patrickbrewerisgay]

Your tags about David's romantic gestures are everything😍💖

we were just having this discussion in chat earlier about how a lot of people can’t see what patrick sees in david. i’ll admit that this is something i have also struggled with, only because david & i are SO similar & it’s difficult for me to find (or admit) anything lovable about myself. like david, i am anxious, dramatic, self-absorbed, judgmental, & catty. but the transformational arc that david goes through over the course of the series, & over the course of his relationship with patrick, shows us depths that we couldn’t see before.

for one thing david is fiercely loyal to those he loves, which we get early hints of in episodes like 3x10 sebastien raine, where he is so protective of moira. but it’s with patrick that we finally see david opening up & letting himself shed his armor to reveal the loving parts of himself that he was too afraid to show before. for one thing, he may be anxious all the time, but when a loved one needs him, he is suddenly a rock, an island of calm in a stormy sea. obviously the biggest examples would be 5x11 meet the parents & 5x13 the hike (& in 5x6 rock on! to a lesser extent, though his anxiety ends up getting the better of him [thanks alexis!]).

in meet the parents, david sets aside his own insecurities to fully be there for patrick. we KNOW how insecure david is about his romantic relationships being more meaningful to him than they are to his partners, & while at this point some of that worry surely has settled down in regards to patrick, his world is a little rocked when he finds out that patrick has been keeping him a secret from his parents this whole time. old traumas are hard to shake; however we see david suddenly transform into this fiercely protective, confident, resolute comfort blanket of love for patrick. he does everything to make things okay, including putting himself in a vulnerable position with patrick’s parents while still under the impression that they may not accept or condone their son’s relationship with him. we see him literally wrap himself around patrick & hold onto him for dear life when patrick admits his fears about his parents. david in this moment doesn’t care how long it takes patrick to tell his parents about david; his concern is patrick’s safety & comfort. he could get angry & take offense to being kept a secret, but he shows so much goddamn empathy towards patrick’s feelings & insecurities over coming out. then at the party he is THERE for patrick with a reassuring word & smile, & even though he knows at this point that patrick’s parents will be accepting, he is still thinking of patrick’s feelings & saying exactly what patrick needs to hear in this moment. he could trivialize patrick’s feelings, but he never does. without missing a beat, david rose drops all of his baggage & all of his worry when patrick is in need.

to me the hike is another perfect example of david’s protective & caring nature. he starts off being dramatic, bratty, & ungrateful, but when he sees the toll of his actions, he is immediately able to quit this behavior, acknowledge that he was wrong, & re-center the afternoon on patrick. he quickly transitions into seeing the day & his own behavior through patrick’s eyes, & he realizes that he hasn’t been fair or sensitive to what patrick wanted to do for him. then this boy who has been whining about a heavy backpack for the past several hours CARRIES HIS BOYFRIEND UP A MOUNTAIN without even getting winded, because he is just SO overwhelmed with the need to care for patrick that he becomes like one of those moms who gets a surge of adrenaline & suddenly develops super strength to lift a car off their trapped baby. & this isn’t an effort for him, he just automatically switches into caregiver mode when it’s needed. patrick doesn’t even have to ask.

i speak of this as growth, but i’m not saying that these are qualities that david suddenly developed because of schitt’s creek or because of patrick. the growth is in the vulnerability & the confidence to show these traits that have been there all along. david rose is nothing BUT love, he has SO MUCH love to give & is SO EAGER to give it, but because of how much hurt it has caused him in the past, he’s learned to switch it off. patrick gives him the security to finally love the way he was meant to, because he IS finally loved the way he was meant to be. it’s more than a throwaway joke when patrick refuses to return the “nice” compliment in 4x01: david rose may not always be a NICE person, but he is undoubtedly a GOOD person. but it is only through allowing himself to be vulnerable & to embrace joy that he is able to show it.

& yeah maybe i’m projecting a little, but dan has indicated plenty of times that we are meant to project. i may share david’s not-so-nice qualities, but i also share his good qualities, including his loyal & protective nature. not to get exceedingly personal (though my friends have already heard way too much about this), but before this show i had been through a shitty time being dumped by my fiancée & then losing all my friends in a really overblown & traumatic argument. after that i told myself i was toxic waste & wasn’t fit to be around other people; relationships only ever brought me hurt, so i figured i’d be better off turning off my need for companionship & just accepting that it wasn’t for me. i gave up on love, including for myself, & slipped into a nasty depression where i only left my house for school. i’m not saying sc cured me; i’m still clawing my way out of it, & i still don’t truly believe i’ll find love again (though i have found friendship again which i’m over the moon about). but through david rose, i have realized that i am worth loving & deserving of love. that’s why this show means a ridiculous amount to me.

so when people say they don’t see what patrick sees in david, i wonder what show they’ve been watching. patrick may be bold & capable, but david brings his humor & his passion & his LOVE, so much love, to the table. in david patrick sees someone who is smart, ambitious, creative, & talented, who just needs a little help gaining the confidence to put it all together. patrick does that for david with rose apothecary & then he does that for david in their relationship. they bring out the best in each other, not opposites but complementary pieces. patrick doesn’t have what david is missing, he just has a way to bring out what david has had inside him all along but has been too afraid to show.

& i guess that’s my essay on david rose. glad you liked the tags! :P

[blogpedropedro2]

CHILDHOOD TOYS process (October 1st)

This process of posting weekly on the blog is interesting for me because I usually like to show only the final result of my work. However, even if there is still a lot of things to do like sanding, refining, and painting, I can feel how keeping track of my progress and posting it, it is actually helping me to measure my production rate. Also, it allows me to perceive if I am going in the right direction.

The characters are supposed to look different, but still relating to each other in terms of the theme. 

These last four characters that I did are based on:

1- Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story). The idea behind it is about “flying in our imagination” but he is actually not flying. However, he is happy with his inner fantasy ideas.

2- Etch a Sketch toy. The idea behind it is about the split identity and our desire to be more perfect, cute, and appealing to others. (The Etch a Sketch will have the drawn face of the Max Steel toy).

3- Plastic soldiers or Army men toy. The idea behind it is about “Stop War”. Each one of them (3 in total) will have kitchen utensils (brooms, skillets, stones, etc.) instead of actually war artillery.

4- Monopoly. The idea behind is about the character focusing on his happiness and joy instead of the money that he is sitting on. Because Monopoly’s money is just as unreal as the society’s money. 

[inappropriatefangirlneeds]

Gotham s5ep7 “ Ace Chemicals” Personal Review

“I'll believe it when it happens.”    Warning spoilers below, it´s a short one this time

* The government fucking mined the river?! Wtf. Also I´d complain they didn´t point out this wtfery earlier but the reveal scene with Oswald´s guineapigs in boats was kinda funny, mean and horrible but funny, I was so relieved when he said he´s swimming back I should have known that this wouldn´t last, but in general couldn´t they just send out unmaned boats, things, stuff and detonate the mines and then get through, have people do it on more than one spot at the same time, the government can´t be everywhere at once?  * “I'll believe it when it happens.” Yeah same. Also they really pulled back the help because of some chemicals in the river, like don´t get me wrong I still was like this is not good, nooot in the water, but you can´t tell me that corporations didn´t put more toxic substances into the environment over the years ...  * “I'm not cutting you out, but I need you sharp, not a liability.” Jim is right, sleep is important.  * “Check out the mustache”  I wonder if Ben Mckenzie was like .. phew I dodged that bullet for sooo long .. in that scene. “ “I never figured Zsasz for much of a cinephile.” Well I kinda did, don´t blow holes in my headcanons Jim,  “Not everything is about Jim Gordon.” Okay there´s like a couple of things in this episode I don´t want to deal with but they at least had some okayish moments with the child thing. Barbara (of course) not being about gloating, but getting the best medical care for the child was a nice note (Also what kind of miracle doctor is Lee, like working at Arkham could have been a choice but does that scream on top of your field? But yeah I get it it´s like Lucius who knows everything from hijacking antennas to brain surgery)  ~~ What was annoying is that they put in the “It's what I do, help people.” line with LESLIE THOMPKINS. It´s just right back into the Lee/Barbara contrast they build up and it´s just reminding you of Barbara asking Jim if she can´t help and Jim being like no, not you, not usually, and that he can´t trust her anymore (5x6) Like dude she tried to help, she did help, you´re just an asshole about it and it´s not such a clear altruistic Lee helps people vs. Barbara doesn´t help people thing as this line tries to paint it.  ~~ Less annoying  was when Jim told Lee it´s important that she understands “about this Barbara thing”  Lee was like: “So, what are you gonna do?”  Future tense! They at least didn´t have her make it about past tense. No why did he get together with Barbara, but how will this situation be handled. ~~ Absolutely not annoying was annoyed BARBARA KEAN. “Don´t even start”  “Shut up”  Ahh such a mood. I liked that.  ~~ Absolutely annoying was the scene with JIM & LEE at the GCPD.  Like their dialogue was okayish messish but it was a messish situation. But then Jim grabs Lee´s arm. And it´s just like when he grabbed Barbara´s arm. Well okay not an exact parallel, because Barbara wanted to be close to him and he rejected her just to change this mind (oh those feeble men , can´t even stick to their decisions, always changing their minds .. ). With Lee it´s different she is undecided, voices doubt and Jim reaches out to her despite this. She slaps him.  And I´m excited for a moment, because yes, yes this is a unexpected but good reaction, maybe they´ll finally break this unholy Barbara Lee comparison up (okay it would not break the comparison because it was about them contrasting, “lee helpful/babs tactless”, but it still would break up the narrative if Lee had not complied with the “helpful, supportive girlfriend” role but rejected Jim). After the moment of excitement over a possible interesting plot evolvement, like not everything is about Jim Gordon, how about we really do this, don´t rekindle that relationship, let Lee be her own person, let that rude grab of her arm be her wakeup call, her point to make a decision and leave Jim behind. But, no indeed she does the other overused trope, and I´m only slightly excusing this because Gotham so often paints itself like one of those movies of the past .. and well she does kiss him.  So bleh we got grab>slap>kiss, instead of the much better plot that I came up with ;D  On a side note. Selina Kyle didn´t forget about TABITHA GALAVAN. She´d rather see Oswald dead but he got wealth and a way out and she´s offering it to Barbara Kean. “I'll still need your help moving the stuff.” “We can get out of here together. Away from Jim Gordon. Rich as Midas. Penguin dead in a ditch. Well, aren't we just two single ladies and a baby about to kill our sworn enemy together.” But SELINA KYLE gets side tracked when Alfred stumbles out of the tunnel to the now blown up Wayne Manor (noo what a waste) and tells her Bruce needs help.  For a moment she´s about to kill Penguin for Tabitha (he shouldn´t believe just because she didn´t kill Jeremiah that she wouldn´t kill him) Alfred kind of talks her out of it with reminding her that Bruce needs her help. She doesn´t kill again.  Due to extended Bruce virtue? Am I reading too much into this or was it meant to be read as her and only her choice? Nevertheless, she does interfere with the scene this time and tells Bruce she should have in the past but he absolves her of responsibility and guilt. I wonder if this means that Selina is “free” in some kind and can move on, of if this honest moment will bind them back together more.  Jeremiah survived. How and who fished him out of that glowing green tank?? He has no brain activity anymore and Bruce thankfully thinks to add Selina in his conclusion: ” “He's no longer a threat. To either of us.”  It´s a lot about GUILT and REGRET and WHAT IF´s this week. * Selina feeling responsible because she didn´t act in the past and “what if” she had, but  gets to act in the present and a Bruce again telling her she´s not at fault. * With the Gcpd scene between Leslie and Jim they throw in a “what if” remark, if they hadn´t lost the child, what if Jim hadn´t let Lese down.  * Zorro!Jeremiah gets a direct “what if” Bruce had not been afraid and had not asked to go home line, the episode brings back this guilt and regret as well, * Only Barbara is not tangled up in “what ifs”, she says she wants a clear cut from Jim, fuck this shit I´m out, she got a new responsibility. * Barbara has the best coats! * Those blinking red smiling smileys on the bombs, genious! Unsettling and amusing at the same time. * “Ecco, now.” “If I can't have you as a brother bonded by love, then we'll just have to be bonded by hatred.” Okay this is cruel, I don´t want to. But it´s also clever writing damnit. JEREMIAH VALEKSA wanting to be connected by have Bruce relive the day is horrible but an interesting plot point. “I offered for you to be my best friend! But I've realized if we can't be friends then we can be connected in other ways.”  Great was that he just switched plans so nonchalantly “why not” when Leslie Thompkins and Jim Gordon came along “Well, then it's a good thing I already put a bullet in both of their fraudulent skulls.”. That was really a nice moment.   What I don´t quite get is that the fall into the chemicals was kind of anticlimactic? Like usually I´m a big fan of silly shit happens even to importantTM people and in grave situations (like a mighty, mighty warrior like Khal Drogo meeting his end due to a mundane and absolutely preventable infection .. )  but that was like uh okay. They didn´t reach any moment of understanding or something with their dialogue, the “joke without punchline” line stands out but does it have any more meaning than the words before, it wasn´t even some high point in their fight, no peak in the fight choreography, he basically just slipped and fell. Or did I miss anything significant there? * Hypnotized polite ALFRED PENNYWORTH (Manners, Bruce! , No need for roughhousing, sir. ..) is a joy, thanks for that. Bruce being so clever to play along with the hypnosis scenario and invent the gas leak was clever.  “I thought I lost you.”  “Me? Never” I´m not crying .. you are crying ……   * Monarch theatre has an Owl as Logo (Court of Owls reference?) it´s Douglas Fairbanks Zorro. And I gotta say how they shot this, and put Zorro!Jeremiah on full screen was so effective. Well done!  “Haven't you realized what Gotham is yet? It is no longer a city. It is a prison.” Oh wow, so OSWALD COBBLEPOT really does want to leave. Despite my “good timing” meta I´m still side eyeing this. Selina is shading him that he stole things without having an escape plan. But after the tunnel thing is out because it was blown up I guess. He has a new idea: Edward! (Not the dog)  Oswald indeed has an answer to everything as Nygma smilingly accuses him of, and he´s actually right with all of those: He is “very fond of that dog”, he did pay Hugo Strange to save Eds life not chip him, he probably had plans to save him from Gordon. (Seems Ed didn´t read the great metas in the fandom about how this action was a benevolent one :D ) They tried to kill each other but here they are:  “It means fate has different plans for us.”  >> Which is probably a curveball right back to Nygma´s line:  “Do you believe in fate” 2x09 But wait a minute; Barbara Kean is in Oswald´s office, Oswald promptly figures out this is thanks to Selina. Barbara laments she got to do everything on her own. Edward Nygma says she´s glowing and pregnant. Oswald has his usually wits back and appeals to Barbara: “Come with us” it´s the best for the child. Barbara annoyedly agrees. It´s about a submarine but they got to build it first. Barbara says “shut up” twice #Mood. 

[rhysgfrelsa-eudyptula]

Gundam Wing fanfiction AU with a bit of GI Joe influence (blame BHG she a*muse*d me into it. XD) Pairings: 1x2 (eventually), 3x4 (sorry old hat but can't do better this story), 5x6 (eventually) Rating: explicit (cussing, eventual yaoi lemons, guns, tanks, 'splodeys.... Don't try this at home kids it ain't pretty.) Chapter 1: Cobra Commander Plays “Capture The Tanks” Heero and the other GI-Gundams with him bounced along the sands of the Arabian desert in their two Leo Humvees, the two Trago tanks and one Vayeate tank taking longer to get to their destination. Heero wondered about the Intel, not sure how reliable this “Wizard of OZ” was. When they were close to their coordinates, the Leos stopped just behind some dunes that hid them quite well. Heero and the others get out, Heero belly crawling nearly to the top of the dune and looked towards their target. /Targets appear unaware./ Wing Zero informs in a metallic, monotonous voice through the tiny speaker embedded into his right ear canal. “Prime target status?” Heero inquires. /Unknown, stand by./ Wing Zero replies. Flash, clad as per usual in black light body armor over their usual blue with white (silver) trim bodysuits, belly crawls up next to Heero. “Any word?” “Negative. Awaiting confirmation.” Heero states. “Status of the Tragos and Vayeate?” “Ten klicks south of us, sir.” Breaker says after belly crawling up to the other side of Flash, the comms system on his back making him look like a square shelled tortoise, it was wired into his helmet which had a mouthpiece hanging near the right corner of his mouth, over his blue and white (silver) bodysuit. /Target acquired. Cobra Commander confirmed. Ten yards Northwest of your current coordinates./ Wing Zero announces in his ear. Heero swings his binoculars over, and as Wing Zero said, plain as day, stood the Cobra Commander with Storm Shadow at his right side…. The two as different as night and day. Cobra Commander was clad in a skin tight black body suit with a face concealing black hood, the Cobra emblem was emblazoned in bright blood red on the hood and on the left pectoral of the bodysuit, and obviously armed to the teeth with thigh holsters, back holsters and hip holsters carrying a small variety of guns and knives of varying sizes. Heero was willing to bet that the knee high shitkicker boots also concealed knives if not small pistols. Storm Shadow, on the other hand, was clad in a resplendent white body suit and a half mask covering his face from the bridge of his nose down and a close fitting hood. Storm Shadow was more obviously armed to the teeth, possibly because the black weaponry stood out more on the white than Cobra Commander's did. Not to mention the rather noticeable katana strapped to Storm Shadow's back. Heero couldn't tell which one stood out the most... they stood out spectacularly on the light tan sands of the desert. Meanwhile on Cobra's side of the oil field... /Enemy Leos in position ten yards southeast of you, two of them. And two Tragos and one Vayeate approaching from the same direction about ten klicks from our location. Recommended action, disable or destroy. For best results, those sticky bombs, smoke bombs and grenades that you stashed away. A game of “capture the tanks” would give us a bargaining tool to keep those Global Idiots of Gundam safe and keep those asshole scientists at bay./ Deathscythe informs Cobra Commander through the tiny speaker embedded into Cobra Commander's left ear, though he could have used the one in the right also. “Ez şa me, ku tu ji min re da baş dizanin, hevalekî kevn min ên hezkirî im.”1 Cobra Commander says, keeping his voice as low as he can. “Did you say something?” Storm Shadow asks, turning towards him, onyx eyes examining him like an entomologist examines some super rare species of dragonfly pinned to a pinning board. Cobra Commander suspected that the Chinese man was not as he seemed. He knew the man was Chinese from the look of his almond shaped eyes and also from the formal Mandarin and swearing in Taiwanese or Vietnamese he had caught the man doing every now and then. No proper Chinese would dare swear in Mandarin, it just wasn't done. Cobra Commander had his suspicions because everything the man did made his own instincts scream “cop” and “law enforcement”. As such, Cobra Commander didn't confide nearly as much in the man as any person would to their right hand man. When you can't trust those truly in charge, it was severely bothersome not to be able to trust his right hand man. “Just talking to myself, busy mind and all that.” Cobra Commander replies airily, waving Storm Shadow off with his hand in a negligent manner. “You keep these idiot grunts working as long as you can. I need to go elsewhere.” Storm Shadow looked at him askance. “Don't give me that look. Do as you are told, unless you want to find out personally what I do to those who question my orders and my decisions.” Cobra Commander states irritably. Storm Shadow shrugs one shoulder and looks away from Cobra Commander. Cobra Commander was tempted to slap him on the back of his head... tempted, but he had things to do... namely disabling tanks, before they could turn things into a FUBAR day. Cobra Commander then made his way to one of the supply trucks, the one that still had it's ramp conveniently attached. He had ordered it that way in case they should have company... of the irritating kind. When he entered he walked along one of the walls near the rear door, looking for the sticky bombs, smoke bombs and grenades that he had stashed. Sure enough, they were all right where he had stashed them, between the chains marked “CHA” and the oscillators marked “OS”... Cobra Commander smirked to himself at the inside joke. Chaos should have been his middle name. Duo Chaos Maxwell... it had a nice ring to it. He chuckled at his own joke and placed six sticky bombs, four smoke bombs, and a couple grenades into the small saddlebags that he had installed on the tail of the motorcycle that was also sitting in the truck. He had only allowed his own personnel load the motorcycle into the truck, Yazidi people whom he called family, about three currently with him, four others he had forbidden to ever accompany him, not counting the young-ins. He knew women were capable, but he respected them and wanted to keep them safe. The motorcycle itself had been loaded in, despite the odd looks it received, just because the other Cobras weren't smart enough to be inventive or able to figure out ways to deal with things, doesn't mean he wasn't or couldn't. He knew he'd need something small, fast and open to him being able to reach things from the vehicle, a motorcycle was a perfect tool. This motorcycle however, was more than just a motorcycle, it was a gorgeous black and green Kawasaki Ninja H2R, considered the most mental of all super bikes, it was not pretty. It possessed a deadly beauty that no other bike could match. It was the masterpiece of Kawasaki, in Cobra Commander's opinion. If Lamborghini had a Japanese bike building cousin, Kawasaki would be it. The H2R looked aggressive, like it wanted to tear you limb from limb... and kick your ass with a steel toed boot. Cobra Commander lovingly strokes his fingers along the top of the H2R. It was lean, mean and deadly, like himself. It was said that no mere mortal could handle it, such was especially true about this particular bike. /Good thing I am Shinigami, not any mere mortal./ Cobra Commander thinks. If motorcycles were angels, the H2R would be Lucifer, on his way to hell. Which was why he named it after the most famous fallen angel, though nicknamed it Lu. It was one of his pride and joys, having built and tweaked it by hand from scratch from the tires up. And like the H2R from Kawasaki, he didn't even bother trying to make it street legal. He had built it to the same exacting specifications as Kawasaki did... plus some tweaks here and there that made it even meaner than Kawasaki's version. Considering the nine hundred thousand US dollar price tag, he had decided that building the thing himself would be a much better option than buying one and tweaking it. Once he was done with the tanks, Lu would then be loaded into his personal helicopter.... he never left any of his babies behind, much to the irritation of the scientists, not that he really cared what the old troglodyte codgers thought of him. When he wanted to get the job done, the job got done. It wasn't his fault if their visions of world domination were idiotic at best to him. He had his own plans to accomplish. He straddled the H2R, pulling off the glove on his left hand to place his hand on the touch pad just above the gas tank, one quick scan later and Lu snarled to a start and then purred beneath him. He put his glove back on and revved the beast. Lu snarled and trilled, giving a buck as if eager to be off and running, this gave him a stab of pride in his heart, his bike was as wild as he, himself was. Cobra Commander had a Shinigami smile as he disengaged the kickstand and gave Lu some throttle... the H2R lurched like a nightmarish version of a racehorse at the opening of the starting gate, giving him the sensation of flying. He roared out of the supply truck, the few Cobra grunts nearby shuddered in fear as Cobra Commander's wild laughter made them think of the bony fingers of death reaching for them or the feeling of someone walking on their graves. He rode out, taking a longer more roundabout route before turning Lu to aim where the tanks were expected to be, becoming a black comet racing over the surface of the desert sands. /Anomaly detected. Cobra Commander appears to be on his way to the tanks... he is approaching 200 miles per hour./ Wing Zero alerts Heero. “K'so.” Heero spits out. “Something wrong, Sir?” Flash asks/ “What do you know can get up to around 200 miles and hour in less than ten minutes?” Heero asks. “Unless he has a rocket strapped to his ass, I'd say a really fast motorcycle on a suicide run.” Barricade speaks up from where he was leaning against one of the Leos. “Warn the tanks.” Heero orders. “Too late.” Breaker says as he starts hearing the tanks broadcast a general 'What the fuck is that?' over the radio. Heero wanted to wait for the tanks, they would be a turning point, he knew. “What do we do?” Ban'zai asks from the second Leo. “We wait.” Heero says grimly. /That is Wufei's opinion as well, he doesn't know what Cobra Commander is up to, he was simply told to keep the grunts working. Nataku relayed his opinion./ Wing Zero says. The roar of Lu's engine and the whine of it's supercharger would have been all the warning the tanks would have received, had they been able to hear it, before pulling an all stop and nearly making themselves dizzy spinning their turrets to try to catch a glimpse of the black, angry comet that was now bedeviling them. “Flint, you got visuals?” Steeler, one of the Trago commanders asks the other Trago commander through their coms. “Other than what had looked like some kind of wicked, angry, black comet? No. Thunderwing?” Flint replies and adds a question in to the Vayeate commander. Thunderwing snorts, “Are you kidding? I'd have an easier time playing prairie dog just to spot this devil.” Cobra Commander couldn't help himself, really... it was too damned funny, watching the turrets spin round and round so fast as he lapped them laughing gleefully. But he had to get this done, he grabbed the first sticky bomb from the saddlebags and slowed his speed as he turned to one of the Tragos, popping the seal for the sticky bomb, it's protective metal casing dropping to the sands as he moved in to reveal the gluey, sticky softball sized explosive that was it's name. He was lucky that the tanks had stopped while trying to figure out what he was, he slowed down to nearly a crawl as soon as he was on the right side of the farthest Trago. He opted to stick the bomb onto the top of the track rather than throw it before the gunned the H2R's throttle and raced away. He made a wide circle as he pulled another sticky bomb from the saddlebags. The first bomb goes off with a bright white flash, the bang sound as if a hakkotsu thunder b grenade had gone off a mere five feet away from his head and a puff of dark grey smoke that seemed to pelt twisted and shattered track onto the sands like a bad parody of rain. He starts forward again, this time aiming for the second Trago. “Goddammit, I'm hit but with what? Who or what is this damned thing?” Steeler yells and growls. “I can't tell, it hit your other side.” Flint replies. “Most likely it is Cobra Commander and probably on a motorcycle if his speed was any indication.” Breaker tells them over the radio. “Sonofabitch.” Steeler growls. The black comet slows once again as it gets in between the two Tragos, zipping away with a snarl and a trill leaving another sticky bomb on the second Trago's right side track. As he made the wide turn, the bomb went off, another bright white flash, loud bang, puff of smoke but with the added sound of the resultant shrapnel pinging and clanging as it pelted the side of the first Trago as well. “Damn this son of a bitch.” Flint growls. “That little demon got your tracks.” Steeler says with a growl. “Which means he probably already hit your tracks.” Flint responds, fuming. While they were busy talking, Cobra Commander was busier. He turned towards his last victim, the Vayeate and smirks under his hood and mask as he grabbed two sticky bombs from his saddlebags, popping the metal casings off of them, slowing as he got to the Vayeate's left side. “That means he's after mine now!” Thunderwing growls, giving the orders to move the Vayeate. Indeed he was... but even as the Vayeate started to lurch forward, the two bombs were already stuck on the larger Vayeate's track, and Cobra Commander had already moved over to about one hundred feet behind the second Trago he had hit, the middle one. He pulled out three handmade M-18 smoke bombs and a hand grenade from the saddlebags and started to juggle them. The two sticky bombs explode, almost at the same time, the double flash was nearly enough to blind Cobra Commander, the double bang was almost loud enough to make his ears ring, almost. But the sound of twisted and broken tracks pelting the sands made him chuckle, even as the Vayeate tried to move forward. The slack in the track made it lurch and it stopped immediately. “Where the fuck is he?” Thunderwing hollers as the double bang reverberated in the Vayeate. “I'm gonna rip his arms off and beat him with it! I'm gonna strip his hide off in strips!” Thunderwing continues to rant and rave. “Easy now, Thunderwing, it's only one guy.” Steeler surprisingly tries to soothe. “Dude, even I know not to even dare look at much less touch Thunderwing's baby.” Flint replies. “WHERE IS HE?!?” Thunderwing roars. Cobra Commander pulls the pin from the hand grenade and while still juggling the smoke bombs one handed, chucks the hand grenade at the middle Trago, it lands on top of the turret and Cobra Commander goes back to juggling the smoke bombs. The resultant blast actually does make his ears ring this time, but he doesn't stop grinning from ear to ear, not that anyone could see his maniacal cheshire cat grin. “He's got to be nearby.” Flint says rather loudly as the grenade actually made his own ears ring. “On the count of three, we pop our heads up and see if we can spot him” Steeler says. “One” Thunderwing growls. “Two” Flint says, still a little too loudly. “Three” Steeler says. They all pop their heads out of the top at the same time.... only to see something drop into each of the tanks, one by one as Cobra Commander pulls the pins and chucks the smoke bombs right down each hatch. “What the fuck you little shit! I'm going to kill you!” Thunderwing roars as purple smoke starts filling each tank and billowing out the top. Unable to breathe in the smoke, all four from each tank have no choice but to rush out. As they rush out, Steeler, Flint and Thunderwing try to find Cobra Commander. The sound of a gun being cocked startled all of them. Thunderwing found himself the recipient of the muzzle of a SIG SUAER Legion pressed to his left temple. An arm wrapped around his neck, making him bend a little to accommodate the surprisingly shorter Cobra Commander. “You sonofabitch I'm gonna kill you.” Thunderwing growls. “How are you gonna do that? I'm not the one with a gun pressed to my head now am I? As for the rest of you.... disarm yourselves, just toss them near my lovely bike... hurt the bike and I'll shoot a body part.” Cobra Commander orders. They all do as he says, not without some nearly disasterous moves but when Cobra Commander's finger tightened just a fraction on the trigger, they thought twice. Once everyone was disarmed, Thunderwing included, Cobra Commander moved his head in a way to indicate movement from them. “Good, now go over there behind that first Trago, about one hundred feet and sit down all nice and slow like and put your hands on your heads.” Cobra Commander says. “You won't get away with this, bad guys never do.” The driver of the Vayeate growls. “Good, Bad, I'm the one with the gun.” Cobra Commander simply says, ironically quoting Ash from the Evil Dead series. /The tank haulers and personnel are on their way, they should be here in about ten minutes./ Deathscythe informs Cobra Commander. “While we wait for some more playmates, who's up for a round of Kumbaya?” Cobra Commander suggests cheerfully as he swings Thunderwing around and lets him go, making the guy stumble into the rest of the group. He pulls out another SIG SAUER Legion and cocks it. “Just so you know... they are set to PewPewPew. Which means I can shoot as many bullets with one squeeze as are loaded into the mag. Don't tempt me.” Cobra Commander warns, he keeps at least one gun trained on them as he straddles the H2R and turns it to face them. He leans on the handlebars and points both guns at them in an almost careless fashion. The group of 9 men glares at Cobra Commander who sighs. “Which way would you want to do this then?” He asks irritably. “You get to keep your lives but lose the tanks or you get to lose your lives and still lose the tanks. Your choice. I surprisingly prefer to let you all live and just take the big toys away from you. Don’t let your foolish pride make me do something I would surprisingly rather not do. Hell, I even offered to sing Kumbaya with you all. I hate that song. I prefer Five Finger Death Punch or Bring Me The Horizon or Disturbed… not some stupid campfire classic that no one likes.” Cobra Commander rants. “Why do you care anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be the bad guy?” Flint asks. “I am the bad guy, in everyone’s eyes. I am also the pain in the ass thorn in the side of the ones who seek to tell me what to do in the Cobra organization. What I am about, I can’t tell you, nor do I want to. You’ll just have to be happy with the fact that despite everything, I don’t want people to die because of all this. At least, not you GI guys. And I won’t explain why either.” Cobra Commander says. “I won’t forgive you, you hurt my baby.” Thunderwing growls. “Mmhmm and I am also taking that baby with me, do I really look like I care whether you hate me or not? Please. At least you get to live longer to hate my guts more than what the other Cobras would love to do to you and all other GI Gundam guys.” Cobra Commander says, shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly. /5 minutes away./ Deathscythe informs Cobra Commander. Cobra Commander sighs. “But all of you have to admit…. Who else would be crazy enough to take on three tanks with a built by hand, modified H2R and some explosives of varying uses?” Cobra Commander asks and laughs. “No one that we knew of. You’d be the first, and successful, unfortunately.” Steeler grudgingly agrees. The others grudgingly nod their heads in agreement. “And that is what made it so brilliantly successful. No one else is as crazy or naturally adept at all things that go BOOM, except me. Well, that and playing McGuyver every chance I get. Everything I used, I made or modified. Never mess with a tinker, we always invent new ways to get what we want.” Cobra Commander says, a grin could be heard in his voice, the amusement that usually makes one grin anyway. “Who moved the rock and found you?” Thunderwing asks, trying to insult. “No one… some idiot detonated a landmine in the sands of these deserts and out I came.” Cobra Commander says with a laugh, turning one insult away while technically insulting himself. “It is your own faults that all of you come to confront me in my own backyard. No one knows the deserts like I do. And the cities therein.” The could hear the rumbling of the tank tow trucks from nearly a mile away, growing like an incoming thunderstorm. Cobra Commander chuckles. “And here come the repo men for the tanks. Maybe I'll have some fun and tinker with these babies later, could be fun to see if I can’t make them even better than they are.” Cobra Commander says with ideas already in his head on what he wanted to play with as far as modifying the tanks. The GI Guys just might like his modifications, when he gave them back… much later. He wasn’t going to stay with Cobra forever. But no one except himself and a handful of others knew this, and no one else was going to know, until the time was right. The tank tow trucks and crew came rumbling up, crew jumping out to get the tanks up and running before the two trucks had a chance to fully stop. A small group of three came up to Cobra Commander, taking care not to startle him. “Tu çi dixwazî ji me re ji bo ku ez bi wan re, patronê?”2 The biggest one asks, gesturing towards the 9 GI Gundam men. “Wan zindî bihêlin. Tie wan û ji wan re li vir bihêle dema ku tank derkevin. dûman Orange, îşareta yên rizgarkirinê xwe. Paşê helîkopterê min bînin û bar H2R nav it. Ma tevîhev ne, tenê ji van dînên ji morîmaran rast biparêze.”3 Cobra Commander replies in the same language that the other man spoke in, which was Kurdish or Kurmanji. “Ewle bimînin, birayên min. Eger yek ji we werin kuştin, hûn ê ji min re paşê hez ne.” The three chuckle softly and pull out their own weapons to point at the GI Gundam guys as Cobra Commander puts his own away and gives the H2R a quick revv, making the black and green beast give a short snarl and trill. He turns towards the other Cobras. “Get those things fixed and on transport to headquarters within twenty minutes, or all of you will end up on the bad end of the firing squad AFTER I have my pound or twenty of flesh from your sorry carcasses.” Cobra Commander shouts the orders before turning the H2R and heading back to the oil wells to deal with the other 8 GI Gundams that he knew where there, looking more like a black comet than some crazy asshole on a very fast bike. The day wasn’t done yet, but by his reckoning, he was already ahead by three very powerful tanks. That would make those asshole scientists happy, even though he was planning on giving those things back later…. Much later. As a part of his notice of self termination of employ with those assholes. A/N Cobra Commander speaking Kurdish or Kurmanji in order of his speaking: 1. “I am glad that you know me so well, my dear old friend.” 2. “What do you want us to do with them, boss?” 3. “Keep them alive. Tie them up and leave them right here when the tanks leave. Orange smoke, to signal their rescuers. Then bring my helicopter and load the H2R into it. Do not engage, just keep these idiots safe from the real Cobras.” “Stay safe, my brothers. If any of you get shot, you won't like me afterwards.” Why is he speaking Kurdish or Kurmanji? You'll find out soon enough. Entomologist is a person who studies bugs aka insects, arachnids and such. A pinning board is what is used to mount insect/arachnid specimens, can be made of wood, plastic or metal. FUBAR = Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition

[alexismariechute]

“Joy #10” 5x6 feet $4500. On display this month at the St Albert Public Library www.AlexisMarieChute.com . . . #acrylicpaint #painting #mixingcolor #abstractart #contemporaryart #art #alexismarieart #emergingart #interiordesign #modernart #artist #artconsultant #canadianart #canadianartist #homedecor #artgallery #dailyart #homedesign #instaart #famousartist #interiordecor #styleathome #artstagram #artcurator #artcollector #artdealer #artistatwork #alexismariechute #emergingartist (at St. Albert Public Library)

[guajiraboy-blog]

5/09/17 Heavy Day

Squat 

2x5 45 lbs 1x3 165 lbs 1x2 235 lbs 1x3 300 lbs 1x5 275 lbs

Bench Press 2x5 45 lbs 1x3 95 lbs 1x2 135 lbs 3x5 195 lbs

French Press 4x10 @ 17.5 kg on 30 seconds

Assisted Single Arm Pushups 5x6

The carb load last night actually worked incredibly well. Despite having a strange case of simultaneous diarrhea/constipation, I was able to make it to Riohacha, chug some milk from the Metro at Suchimaa and crush 300lbs (well, more like 297lbs, but at the very least its a nearly 10b jump since last time. 315 should be right around the corner.)

I have also successfully located the one lone set of 10lb, 5 lb and 2.5 lb plates in a gym loaded with kilograms. I no longer have to worry about bringing my chains with me.

I’m still at a loss for what to do with accessory work. Although I’m on a cut, I still harbor dreams of getting big. But perhaps I will never get big.

Since I left Texas, I’ve lost a fair amount of the muscle mass I used to have. And although my upper body is beginning to fill out nicely, I miss my traps. I miss looking like I actually lift.

But when did I ever look like I lifted?

Highlights from Today:

Due to the fact that no one can keep a secret, let alone about an illness, let a lone those closest to me, the town now thinks that I eat raw eggs. The more I protest, the more I seem like the gringo that is embarrassed that people know that he eats raw eggs.

The boys in this town are heavily invested in inserting me into whatever carnal fantasies they might have. Strangely, most of these involve what I can only assume to be a very niche branch of American pornography known as “mandigo”, which, judging by the number of 10 year old boys that bring up this topic with me on a weekly basis, must have quite a following in the mountainous regions of southern Guajira.

The latest fantasy involves me and the nuns in town. I have never met these nuns, although I should soon, because they certainly known who I am. Nevertheless, I am the star stud in what could only be interpreted as an illiterate redrafting of De Sade’s Justine from the opposite gender.

Also, there is a week long strike in my town. So although Once still has class, I am basically free to do whatever I would like. Judging off of this past weekend, that will most likely be heavily using the internet and ignoring any moment I have to write.

All of this to say that I have been depressed lately in a way that I have not known since high school.

Somedays start off wonderfully, but by the middle, my thoughts are dark, and a lethargy like the universe is enacting a terrible entropy against me.

Lifting helps. Talking with my family here helps. They don’t seem to hate me, and the addition of the measuring cup I bought at the Metro to the house’s wares seemed to have brightened my mom’s spirits.

However, more than anything, what has helped is realizing that I cannot depend on feelings as assurance of God’s salvific work in my life.

The Cost of Discipleship is a wonderful book. Its theology is sound, its insights are penetrating. But to read that book without a good grounding in Scripture, knowing how to minister the Word to oneself, is almost as bad as reading the Shack.

It will, as Albert Mohler would put it, eff you up something nasty.

But more on that later.

Suffice it to say, it’s good to be studying the Word in a new way. Yes, I’ve stopped reaping, but reaping was becoming its own terrible idol, where only the completion brought me joy and not the Word itself.

Likewise, spending time memorizing verses, has been helpful. So much of the memorization I did in my time at the Austin Stone was bent towards passing those oral exams. Those few that I did remember where the ones that directly applied to my situation. Now, lacking Christian community, I find a renewed motivation to memorize, so that I may preach and ponder what others cannot do for me.

[jess-oh]

Reflection: Part 1

It is currently 10:53pm and I now have about an hour to go. I think.

I was worried about traveling today. Especially since I’ve been packing so last minute as a result of all my finals. I turned my last paper in yesterday and it still feels kind of surreal that I’m really going home. Manifest yesterday was really fun! I’m sad that I couldn’t look around more and honestly, I brought that upon myself. I should’ve never signed up to work such long shifts :( I did really enjoy running the Hangook station and it was nice introducing a bunch of people to new games and encouraging them to do better.I couldn’t help but feel happy whenever they were thrilled to have won! I was pretty salty that Dana wasn’t with me in the beginning but after talking to her later, I realized that not only did she help setup, but she also chose which game to play and brought the materials herself. She did more than enough. I was pretty salty toward the advisor and the other board members though. I feel like Dana and I have been doing a lot more than many of the other members even though we’re both freshmen and just decided to just the board very recently. Dana has been serving longer than I have but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re both new and doing way more work than the older members. We have no one to look up to but ourselves and that’s pretty messed up. I worked from 1:30-4:00pm and while I did have help at first, I was soon left to fend for myself. When I told this to Dana later, she got really upset and of course I didn’t want her to be upset but I couldn’t help but feel really good because it showed just how much she cares for me. I’m going to miss Dana when she eventually leaves Columbia for good. :( I really love hanging out with her. I think she’s so funny and has a lot to learn but is still very good company. I want to really treasure the time we have together before her ultimate departure.

At the end of the night, I starting feeling extremely nauseous and I didn’t know why. I’m pretty sure it’s because of all the cheese pizza I ate. My lactose intolerance has been steadily worsening and I’m so sad as a result. I love ice cream, whipped cream, cake, chocolate, cereal, cheese…and now I can’t eat any of these anymore! D: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I mean, I can but my time on the restroom is never nice. But I don’t usually feel the need to barf as a result so I’m honestly not sure what it was that I ate. Maybe it was a mixture of a few things? Who knows. But I decided to head back to my dorm around 9:30pm after dancing a little to Soulja Boy. I mean, let’s be real. You can’t turn down Soulja Boy. It’s Soulja Boy! On the way home, I had quite a few instances in which I felt the need to barf but I held it together! I arrived back in my dorm and rested for about an hour before hanging out with Marlena for a few hours. We chatted about Moana and she helped me pack. Even though we don’t have the same beliefs on a lot of things, I still really appreciate her for being there for me. I just hope I can learn to be more open and vulnerable with her instead of keeping it to myself all the time.

Fast forward to today. I WAS SO STRESSED OUT TODAY. I woke up early and finished packing and headed over to Daniel’s. I sent an e-mail to the woodshop because I knew I would be running late. The box was super heavy and it did a combination of pushing and pulling it to the Arc. Thank goodness the Arc is so close but it was still a hardcore struggle. I met a lot of nice people today though and that made this experience a million times better. People held the door open for me, helped me readjust the wheels, let me into the building and even offer to help me when I was just wheeling along. It made me feel really good about the people in Chicago. They just genuinely wanted to help. I never asked and we never exchanged names. They just saw me struggling and wanted to help and that was honestly kind of great.

Anyway, I got to Daniel’s place and he took a bit long to come down but he did nonetheless. We exchanged a few words and then I hurried to work. However, while there, he texted me letting me know that he doesn’t have enough room in his apartment to hold all my stuff. Which is definitely my fault because I did pack more than anticipated. But anyway, he offered to pay for a small storage unit for me and have me venmo him later which made sense. After work, Aaliyah and I stopped by U-Store-It to figure out rates and the cheapest room was a 5x6 at $93 a month. Worst case scenario, I did have that much money in my Wells Fargo account for emergencies but that was basically all of my emergency money. I didn’t want to spend it but if I had to, it was there. When I asked for Aaliyah’s opinion, she immediately told me that that’s way too expensive and I replied that I don’t really have any other choice. I don’t blame Daniel at all and in fact, I’m happy he told me so soon. She then offered her place to hold half my stuff while Daniel held the other things AND I WAS SO HONORED AND BLESSED BY THEM BOTH. What did I do to deserve such great people? They were both okay with the idea and I can’t even fully express the immense joy that I felt that they’d both be willing to hold my stuff. I will definitely look into cheaper storage units for next year!!! But wow. I love them both. So much. Aaliyah and I ate at Dairy Queen together and talked about life, religion, and family. I noticed that she really likes to talk. Which I do too and I never realized how I don’t make things a conversation until I talked to her. It was actually really funny because we were both unintentionally really aggressive toward the cashier. First off, she changed her mind like a million times whilst ordering. I don’t remember what she asked for. I think she asked if there were onions and when the cashier said no how she could add onions. Aaliyah immediately said, “No,” in a really aggressive tone. I then did the same but with pickles. It was a genuine question! Anyway, I really enjoyed breaking bread with her and I know she didn’t mean to accuse me of anything, but whenever she felt the need to confirm that I was a Christian, I felt really bad. Am I not living a biblical lifestyle? I’m also really encouraged how open the two of us are with discussing our faith while at work. I really hope we can work together again next semester. She goes out of her way to really read and study the Bible despite only having converted very recently and I think that’s really awesome. Maybe I’ve been a Christian for so long that I lost what it really means to be a Christian. I have a tendency to cuss and I did so around her but as the day progressed, I couldn’t help but start thinking about it.

Anyway, I brought the giant box back to the UC and accidentally let the bottom wheels roll over a lady’s foot when I wasn’t looking. I hope she’s okay. I returned it and everything turned out okay. I took a break on my bed for about half an hour before getting back into it. I needed a break after moving around and lifting so much.

[ratsalad]

my god 5x6 'joy' is frustrating. how does cuddy not see the conflict of interest in her adivising (medically!) the pregant woman who's going to let her adopt the baby? why doesn't house suggest even ONCE that the woman should get a different attending doctor? not even cameron suggests it!