#6275

[corvianbard]

#6275

The dissonant cacophony Of the turbulent sea Becomes a sailors' shanty.

[every-tome]

[thenyougetbackup]

silly little men (they probably all have tragic backstories)

[streetlightyeri]

oklahoma smokeshow ; t.o

"cause you're a small town smokeshow."

w.c.: 6275

content: lovers to enemies (?) to lovers, angst, fluff, do i have to disclose natural disasters lol, death of a family member, no beta, and as always: FMC is named but has no descriptors

-

The thunder rumbled around Harlow, the sky turning blue with every flash of lightning. These circumstances aren’t what she pictured coming back to Oklahoma to be; the forecasted unprecedented storm week seemed like it was less of a random once-in-a-generation weather cell and more like a physical amalgamation of her emotions. She spent the entire plane ride pretending to be asleep with her head covered so the flight attendants didn’t see her tears; her seat partner acted like he didn’t hear the occasional sniffle. Harlow was grateful for that.

The rental she chose was the last truck on the lot: a Toyota Tacoma with an Arkansas license plate. She wanted to kick the metal plate and pretend it was her ex’s University of Arkansas alumni plate. Instead, she pretended to be normal, and climbed in, immediately turning on the seat warmers and relaxing against the leather. She pulled the seat up the farthest it could go; whoever rented before her practically had it brushing against the back row.

She felt like she was back in high school, driving her dad’s truck to Dairy Queen with her friends. Now, she couldn’t even remember the last time she saw a truck. She spent most of her time on the metro or in a yellow taxi. After her and Tyler’s blowup breakup, Harlow declined her full ride admission to University of Oklahoma and accepted a spot at Columbia University. She fantasized about him showing up at the airport to wish her luck; he didn’t. Similar to how she just did, she pretended to be asleep while she cried on the plane to JFK.

Tyler Owens got famous - there was no other way to say it. He was a hot-shot storm chaser with seemingly little regard for the dangers. But Harlow knew; he was calculative and a downright mathematical genius when it came to tornadoes. He completed his degree in meteorology a year early with high honors. He walked summa cum laude. Harlow watched the livestream. When she walked across stage in her powder blue cap and gown, she couldn’t help but wonder if he did the same. Or if he did it when she walked again two years later for her Masters. And again when she walked four and a half years later for her PhD.

She didn’t just run from him: she ran from the town of Clearwater, Oklahoma. Harlow was . . . a smokeshow. There was no denying it. But she was more than just attractive and Prom Queen. She was valedictorian, president of the Beta and Spanish Clubs, the organizer of natural disaster relief programs across the county. But everyone in Clearwater saw her as one thing: Tyler Owens’ pretty girlfriend who would soon be nothing more than a passing face on the street with a baby on her hip with another on the way. And Harlow couldn’t deny that maybe . . . just maybe she would’ve enjoyed that. But there were so many things that she couldn’t do in Clearwater, so many opportunities outside of the county lines.

But Tyler didn’t want that. He found out she applied to more than just UO and laughed at her. He asked what she could possibly want to do that wasn’t already in Clearwater, asked if she thought she’d be able to leave her mom. And Harlow couldn’t answer. She had nothing concrete that she wished for; she had nondescript dreams of moving away. She spent so long being what everyone wanted her to be, she had no clue what else there was to wish for - what else there was to be.

Their argument was one of her core memories, and in the Tacoma, even with the radio on and the thunder nearly shaking the road, she could hear everything like she was there again, that night 2 weeks after Prom as she helped him clean up his gear from his first ride of the season.

-

Tyler threw his rope down against his saddle. “If you hate it here so much, maybe we shouldn’t be together then!”

“Maybe we shouldn’t!”

The empty arena was completely silent. The groan of the tin roof in the gentle breeze was the only thing that interrupted the tense moment.

He swallowed hard, but didn’t move from his spot a few feet away from her. “Is . . . is that what you really want?”

Harlow tried to shrink in on herself, wrapping her arms around her torso, still wearing his sweatshirt. “I don’t - I don’t know, Tyler. The problem is I don’t know what I want, just what everyone else does. It’s just - you can’t understand. You’ll never be able to understand.” She dropped her arms and opted to lean against one of the bull shoots, the cold, rusty metal grounding her.

He just turned around, busying himself with tightening the straps of his gear. He was silent.

“Tyler-”

He shrugged so hard it shut her up, reaching in his pocket and tossing his keys onto the dirt. “Take the truck. I’ll get my keys and my stuff tomorrow. I’ll call for a ride.”

Harlow crossed her arms, “No, I’m not taking your truck.”

“And I’m not having you staying here in the dark waiting for someone to pick you up. So unless you want me to drive you home, take the damn truck.”

Harlow picked the keys up from the dirt. She cried on the way home then in her mom’s lap. After nearly an hour of listening to her daughter cry, Shiloh James brought her daughter to the family laptop and had her sign into her University of Oklahoma admissions portal and deny her spot. Shiloh looked at her diploma from UC Davis hanging on the wall, “Sometimes a fresh start is what you need most.”

-

Now here she was, back in Clearwater for the first time in years. The few times she visited before were quick, a few days at most before she jetted back across the country; she never came during storm season, too afraid to cross paths with him or hear his name.

This time, Harlow had taken a month off work to spend time with her mother. All it took was one call from her mom's nurse Kelly for Harlow to book her plane ride home.

Shiloh scolded Harlow when she learned she took a month of unpaid leave. “Honey, you’re being dramatic. Your coworkers need you more than I do here! Honest. I haven’t felt better.”

Harlow playfully rolled her eyes at her mother and cuddled against her on the couch, pretending once again that she was here for different reasons. “Nah, I think they’ll be just fine.”

She was learning she was really good at pretending. But, maybe she had been all her life.

-

Harlow dropped her mom off at her best friend’s house as was customary per Kelly. Shiloh had long since stopped treatment and no longer cared about keeping distance from her loved ones. So Thursdays became nights for her to spend with Ruth to reminisce on their years together. Harlow planned to spend the night getting drunk and pretending her life wasn’t unraveling, like she wasn’t about to spend the weekend deciding between cedar and mahogany and pine.

Instead, she got a call from a college of hers in New York, Kate.

“Hello?” She answered, not sure what could prompt a call like this at 5pm. The two were work friends, the one the other would drift to during conventions - nothing more. Neither liked talking about anything personal. She could count on one hand the amount of real conversations she’d had with the girl. But perhaps weather could get her mind off the storm brewing in her life.

“Hi, this is Dr. James?” Kate sounded unsure, as though her number may have changed.

After receiving confirmation, Kate started into a spiel about how she was in need of a second opinion on the cells that were forming over the next few days in Oklahoma.

“Wait,” Harlow cut her off, “Are you . . . in Oklahoma?”

Kate swallowed, “Yes, as a favor to a friend. He’s testing out new equipment.”

“I mean - I’m in Oklahoma as well. I can meet with you, if that’s easier. That way I can see the models you’re describing.” Harlow wasn’t sure why she was so ecstatic to help. Maybe she just wanted a distraction, a taste of what Tyler did every day, what prompted him to leave Clearwater just a year after she did.

After half an hour of preparing a bag with her laptop and other essentials for the night she was going to spend at the motel, she was headed towards a town a few dozen miles north. The ride was the same as every ride through the Great Plains: filled with wheat, windmills, and cows. When she finally arrived at the address she was given, Harlow sighed and looked at the backseat, wishing she brought extra blankets. The parking lot was full: there was no chance of her getting a room that night. Nevertheless, she unbuckled, pulling her bag from the passenger side floorboard. She didn’t need to search for the StormParr trucks. They were stark white with the brutalist style logo slapped on every inch of the vehicles. She scanned the group for a second, looking for Kate - or any woman in general.

Kate saw her first, gently waving her over to introduce her to the group. After a while of comparing models and data (most of which was written off by the StormParr team and deemed as rudimentary), Kate got the hint that Harlow was about to snap. In an attempt to mediate, she cut off the tall, broad man while he was in the middle of talking about his data collection, “I’m sorry, but I really do have to run to the restroom. Dr. James, would you mind accompanying me?”

Harlow gave her a thankful look. The two set off to Kate’s room on the second floor. “I’m sorry about all of that. I thought what you said was very helpful. The prediction of rain habits in the area can definitely contribute to the-”

She cut Kate off with a raised hand and a laugh as they ascended. “It’s fine, really. I have a PhD in Climatology. I’m used to being talked over by men. It’s not like they’re paying me, so I don’t really care.”

They were about to start up the second set of stairs when a man called up at Kate, “Well if it isn’t Big City! That was a good call today!”

Harlow would’ve thought they were talking to her if she hadn’t known Kate was surrounded by these same groups of storm chasers for the past couple of days.

Kate rolled her eyes and whispered to her, “Tornado Wrangler crew.”

Harlow felt her eyes blow wide and her blood run cold. She could hear the rushing in her ears and her heart pumping in her chest. Through the ringing in her ears, she heard Kate introducing her, “This is Dr. Harlow James.”

She got the nerve to turn to see the group of people. They looked exactly how they did on YouTube - cool, fresh, and close knit. Harlow felt like she was looking into a portal to what her life could’ve been. Harlow swallowed hard, the world spinning around her aside from Tyler. His eyes were locked on hers, his face giving none of his thoughts away. Harlow wasn’t as confident in her own facial features. Of all the things to come out of their mouths, she wasn’t expecting one of his crewmates to know about her.

“Of course we know her!” Boone laughed, “We use her weather mapping patterns to plan our-”

Tyler’s boot connected with his side, making him yelp in pain.

She felt her stomach jolt upwards. Harlow gripped Kate’s arm, whispering one word: “Bathroom.”

The blonde took her up the rest of the stairs. The second the door was unlocked, Harlow made a B-line for the bathroom, falling to her knees and emptying her dinner into the toilet. Kate stood awkwardly at the doorway to her hotel room, acting like she couldn’t hear her colleague vomiting through the door. She walked to Harlow’s duffel bag and rummaged through it until she found her mouthwash.

She mulled over if she should check on her or leave her be and throw the mouthwash bottle into the bathroom like it was a grenade. She was given a few extra moments to decide when a knock interrupted her thoughts. Kate opened the door, expecting Javier coming up to apologize for his crew’s actions towards Harlow but instead was met with Tyler Owens.

She couldn’t hide her surprise, “Oh, um, hello.”

He looked down at her hand and saw the travel sized bottle of Listerine. He tried to peer around her, but Kate pulled the door. He realized how it must’ve looked, “I came to check on her. Is she okay? She looked like she was about to faint.”

It was clear there was a history between the two, but Kate couldn’t tell what exactly it was. She wasn’t sure if she cared either. But she wasn’t about to leave this girl who she brought over. Kate tried to lie, to say that she was fine and just using the restroom, but a particularly violent gag sounded out.

He looked like it took all of his willpower to not push Kate out the way and run to the bathroom. “I just need to make sure she’s okay, alright?”

Kate went to deny him again, but Javier came up the stairs at that moment, talking without looking until he got right to her door, “Hey, Kate, I want to apologize about the way they treated Dr. James. It was entirely unprofession- oh . . .”

Javier sized up Tyler, whose jaw was locked. He turned to Kate instead. “Where’s Dr. James? I want to apologize personally.”

“Bathroom.”

He nodded in understanding when he heard another gag and Kate slightly raised the bottle in her hand.

“Please,” Tyler pleaded. “Let me check on her. She will dry heave until she passes out. She’s done it since we were kids.”

Kate wanted to say no, but the sounds were not letting up; if anything, they were getting worse. And she was not good with comforting someone or with bodily fluids. She glanced between the two, eventually stepping outside and handing Tyler the bottle. “Leave the door open.”

“Of course,” he assured her before bolting to the door. He knocked softly and was answered by a dry heave. He swallowed thickly, his voice soft, “Harlow?”

She made no noise of acknowledgement. He knocked again to nothing. He tried the handle, and it was miraculously unlocked. Once the door swung open, he was met with Harlow on her knees, arms wrapped around the toilet, dry heaving so hard her back arched up and down. He got on one knee next to her, gently running a hand down her back as he said her name. Her body shook with another heave. He pulled the hand towel off the bar on the wall and ran it under the faucet before wringing it out and placing it across her burning neck. That seemed to snap her out of the cyclical vomit-dry heave moment she was having. Her breathing started to deepen and even out as she reached up to flush the toilet twice. The redness in her face started to recede. She braced herself to stand, but didn’t have the strength to do so yet and almost stumbled head first into the counter.

Tyler was quick, “Whoa, whoa, darl- Harlow.” His hands reached out to steady her against the counter. She took deep breaths as she regained her bearings, running her hands under the cool water. She washed her mouth out, taking a swig of the mouthwash he offered. She splashed her face with water. She rubbed away the residual tears that formed during her vomit spell. Her mascara was still smudged underneath her eyes.

“Can you uh, grab my toothbrush and a shirt?” He didn’t need any explanation as to why she couldn’t get it herself. He brought them to her after practically emptying her duffel bag contents onto the bed. He ran a soothing hand up and down her back as she kept her eyes on the running water. She took another swig of mouthwash and swallowed it for good measure. He closed his eyes and turned away as she changed her shirt.

“You good?” He asked. She wanted to throw up again at how soft his voice was.

She nodded. She glanced up and met his eyes for a brief second before wiping her nose with a strangled laugh, her voice raspy, “Great first impression.”

She wiped up the water droplets on the counter with the towel he gave her earlier, doing anything to not look at him or acknowledge how close he was after a decade of nothing.

“Harlow.” His voice was still soft, but firm. “What did those guys say to you?”

She scoffed and wiped her wet hands on her shirt before walking out the bathroom. “Nothing I can’t ignore. I’m used to it.”

“What do you mean?”

She shrugged, putting her things back in her bag that were strewn across the bed, “The usual. No one taking my models seriously because I was the only female graduate in my PhD program and because I’m the only person using them.”

“I use them.”

She pulled the zipper, staring so hard at her bag Tyler thought it might burst into flames, “So I’ve heard.”

There was a beat of silence. “Why’re you working with guys like that?”

That made her look up, eyebrows knitted. “I’m not. I have no clue who they are. I came here as a favor for Kate. We’re professional acquaintances. It was a coincidence we were both here.”

She said too much with that because he immediately asked, “Why are you back in Oklahoma?”

She kept her response short and guarded, “Seeing mom.”

Silence stretched on for an awkward amount of time. Harlow went back to looking at her bag. Tyler’s eyes never left hers.

“Let me take you get food. You just flushed yours down the toilet.”

“No!” Harlow almost jumped back as she heard those words. “No, no, I’m fine.”

He cocked an eyebrow, “When’s the last time you ate?”

“I ate on the way here.”

“And that’s gone. Before that?”

Harlow tried to do the math in her head. She skipped lunch because she was so worried about getting her mother bathed for her night with Ruth. She picked at an egg this morning but couldn’t stomach it, too aware of the texture of it. She wasn’t about to tell him she hadn’t digested a meal since the night before, so she opted for “A while.”

“I’m taking you get food. Come on.”

There was little reason for Harlow to argue - if she said she was going to bed he’d insist on walking her to her room and then she’d have to admit she didn’t have one, or that she was going to get food herself and he’d insist it was pointless to go alone if he was offering to drive.

That’s how the two ended up at a 24/7 diner, cramped into the only booth available next to the front window where everyone walking past could stare at them. It felt very similar to how Harlow felt when the two were a couple in Clearwater: watched, judged, and laughed at.

The two did not talk. Harlow became more comfortable with looking up, so instead of staring at the plate the entire meal, she was able to get as far up as his nose. His eyes were off limits in her mind. If she looked at them this close up, she was sure she’d feel everything she felt that night in the arena come rushing back.

-

She wasn’t sure how the two ended up in a pasture across from the diner, but she had made the mistake of looking at his eyes when his hand covered hers when the bill came. And she did feel all of those emotions come rushing back. It felt like their argument picked up right where it left off. The tall grass tickled her legs that were now accustomed to fancy lotions.

“I LEFT BECAUSE IT WASN’T FAIR! IT STILL ISN’T!” She shouted at him, hoping no one across the street could hear.

“What are you talking about?” Tyler scoffed.

“I left because the only thing I could ever be in Clearwater was ‘Tyler Owen’s girlfriend.’”

“Would that really have been so bad? A picket fence? A few babies?”

“No! It wouldn’t have! But you got to be Tyler Owens. Hot-shot bullrider extraordinaire. Loved by everyone. I was nothing more than the town smokeshow, and that’s all I would ever be.”

“You chose to go to college!”

“And look where you ended up! Mr. Summa Cum Laude! Why was it okay for you to go and not me?”

Tyler couldn’t hide the shock on his face. “You . . . you kept up with me?”

Harlow nodded. “Yup. Watched the livestream of you graduating. Even though you started a year after me, we still ended up graduating the same year.”

“But why keep up? You left. You went to New York.”

“I was going to UO at first. Wanted to stay close to you. They were gonna pay for everything, can you believe that?” She let out a humorless laugh. “Then we broke up. And my mom told me to go to New York. Get a fresh start. Turns out I fucked up that fresh start, too.”

He knit his brows. “What do you mean?”

Harlow fell onto the tailgate, her feet dangling. She tried to speak but only a sob came out. She hung her head and squeezed her eyes shut, a tear running down her nose and falling onto the dirt. Tyler walked over slowly and apprehensively took a seat next to her. She didn’t move to bite his head off or push him off. After a few seconds, she was able to compose herself to say the words she’d been refusing to say. The ones she refused to repeat to Nurse Kelly. The ones she knew her mom didn’t like. “She’s dying, Tyler. That’s why I came home - to plan her funeral. The doctors gave her until the end of the month. I-I left and never came back, and now I’m never gonna see her again.”

“Oh, baby,” his heart clenched. Of all the people in the world that deserved something like that, Shiloh was the last one. She raised Harlow alone after her father skipped town when she was two. She baked homemade cakes for him on his birthday and included him in Christmas and donated every penny she could to those in Clearwater who needed it. He wrapped his arms around her, and she broke. She held onto his button down and let out the sobs she’d been pretending to not be holding back, the ones she muffled in her pillow at night so she didn’t wake her mom.

She would’ve continued if it hadn’t been for the breeze she felt. It was warm. Like the ones before it, but different. The heat was weighing the breeze down, not being carried by it. She slowly pulled away from Tyler. He tried to say something, but she held her hand out to quiet him. She slowly dismounted from the tailgate, landing on the ground with a thud. Tyler made significantly less noise when he stepped off. Harlow pulled her hair tie out, slipping the band onto her wrist before leaning down and snapping a few blades of grass from the ground.

“Harlow, what are you-” He shut up when she let go, the blades flying away. He understood what spooked her. He suddenly felt the heaviness in the air, the air blowing her hair in the same direction as the grass. Heat lightning flashed in the sky, illuminating a monster cloud. Tyler grabbed her upper arm, “Get in the truck. Now.”

She nodded, racing to the passenger side just as the wind began to pick up. Heading back to the motel was too risky and too far. The best bet was to find shelter in town. Tyler started down the main stretch of road, Harlow screaming out the window for people to find shelter; if it was just her in her rental, she knew that no one would take her seriously. She had no fame and was no household name, but the red truck she was in gave her all the credibility she needed. Pedestrians heeded her warning and turned, fleeing to the nearest buildings. Power began to flicker across the city, darkness rolling in waves as transformers blew. The tornado siren started its song. Tyler had to intervene by rolling the passenger side window up on his control panel once the hail started, Harlow getting pelted as she stuck her head out to yell warnings.

“The hail is enough extra warning for them, sweetheart. Look for a shelter we can go into.”

Her eyes scanned, but the lack of power made it hard to see anything, even with the flashes of lightning. But then she pointed to the right, “Look! A motel! They most likely have one!”

He pulled into the parking lot, not caring how shittily he parked. But to the two’s horror, there were still three people in the lobby and they were soon joined by a mother and daughter. The young woman was laughing at their nervous state.

“Chill, guys, 9 times out of 10 there’s not even a tornado.”

The other two men were arguing about a bad Yelp review. Tyler instructed her to find a shelter, stating he’d round up everyone in the lobby. Harlow never ran so fast in her life. She checked every room, but found no doors that led to a storm shelter. She felt her heart fall to her stomach as she returned to the lobby to tell them they’d have to try and stick it out there. But out the corner of her eyes she saw the empty pool. “Tyler! Over here!”

He guided them all to the door she was at. “We have to run for it.”

The mother, daughter, and shop owner nodded. The other two scoffed, refusing to admit that a tornado was making its way down main street. Tyler nodded to Harlow and she unlatched the door. It swung off its hinges and flew across the parking lot, then she patted the mother and daughter to go, then the clerk.

“This is your last chance! Come with us!”The two others shook their heads, finally starting to understand the severity, but too scared to venture out. Tyler could not wait any longer; he grabbed Harlow’s arm and pushed her out before going last. They caught up quickly, each helping the other three down the ladder.

Her voice was getting sucked away by the howling wind, “Get to the pipes! Hold on! Do not let go!”

She tried to help Tyler down, but he pulled his arm back. “Absolutely not! Harlow, get in and do not wait for me!”

There was no time to argue. She could hash this out with him when they made it out of this. He grabbed onto her torso and helped her descend. She immediately ducked down, making a run for the pipes. Tyler was right behind her, until he wasn’t: the clerk stood up to see the tornado behind them and got sucked to the middle of the pool. He held onto the ladder, but had to let go and duck when a vending machine flew towards him. Tyler fell to his belly, making his way around the machine, reaching his hand out for the man. But the man ignored Tyler’s warning. He got to his knees to reach Tyler’s hand faster. Harlow watched in horror as the man hit the side of the pool with a crunch before getting sucked away.

She was crying just as the mom and daughter were; the screws of the pipes shook with the strength of the tornado that was rapidly gaining on them. Tyler was slowly making his way back over to the group on his belly. She screamed his name, but it was covered by the sound of a train horn. She hooked her arm through the pipe and extended her body as far out as she could, trying to reach him.

He wanted to shout at her, to tell her to get back against the pipes, that he wasn’t letting her mom bury her, that he wasn’t going to bury her. But if she hadn’t done that, he’d be dead right now. Just as he made it back to her and wrapped her body in his, a truck flew into the pool and wedged itself above them. He could feel her heartbeat hammering; he tried to tighten his grip on her, his biceps protecting her head as he ducked his own. He whispered soothing, sweet nothings against her head.

The winds slowed, but her breathing was still hard. He broke first, trying to move to peek around the truck to ensure they were in the clear, but Harlow moved her hands to grip one of his arms. He squeezed one of her hands and placed it back on the pipe. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ll be right back.”

She returned to her death grip on the pipe. He was back seconds later to pry her off and bring her above. The mother and daughter thanked them with tears in their eyes. Harlow knew she should be embarrassed at how she was clinging to Tyler the same way the girl was clinging to her mother. But he didn’t seem to mind. He let her cling to him as they waited for the rest of his crew to arrive for relief efforts. Once they did, he sat her in the passenger seat of his truck. He tried to help set up tables with food and water, but Lily shooed him away with two bottles of water.

She nodded in the direction of his truck where Harlow was on the phone, her body shaking from the adrenaline crash. “She needs you more than we do. Get her back safe. We have it from here.”

He glanced between Lily and Harlow. He wanted to ask if she was sure, but he knew Lily wouldn’t let him leave if they truly needed his help, so he thanked her and went to start up the truck just as she was hanging up the phone.

“She okay?” He didn’t have to ask who it was. There was only one person who Harlow went to for comfort.

She wiped at her cheek, “Yeah, yeah. Not even a drop of rain. She’s with Ruth.”

That made Tyler let out a belly laugh. “Are we sure they didn’t cause this?”

Harlow laughed wetly, “I would not bet money against it.”

-

When they arrived at the motel, Tyler was adamant on walking her to her room and getting her settled. It was nearing 1AM. Harlow looked at her lap and scratched at the nape of her neck. “So, uh, about that . . .”

He cocked an eyebrow, motioning with his hand for her to continue.

“I was gonna sleep in my rental. There’s no vacancy.”

He looked at her incredulously, “You’re joking, right?”

She stayed quiet.

“So you were just planning on getting here and sleeping in your truck?”

She shook her head, “No, I just wasn’t expecting every storm chaser in America to be at this motel. That or I was going to go home. Kate said there was still vacancy when we talked on the phone. She even verified that there were a handful of rooms left.”

“Well you’re not sleeping in your truck, absolutely not.” He turned his truck off, grabbing her duffle bag he threw into the backseat earlier.

She looked at him questioningly, holding her hand out for her bag, “Then I’m going home.”

“No. You are not driving half an hour in the dark right after you just waited out a tornado in a pool, especially not to be home alone. And you’re not sleeping in the backseat of an untinted rental in a parking lot, especially not one where I have confirmation that there are people here who do not respect you. You’re staying in my room.”

“I can’t!”

“Relax, I’ll sleep in the chair.”

Harlow felt her face flush. “That’s - that’s not what I meant. You paid for the room. You need to sleep in a bed without having to worry about your ex-girlfriend who dry heaves as an anxiety response.”

He rounded the truck by the time she finished talking. He reached over and unbuckled her, grabbing her hand to help her down. He shut the door behind her. “I didn’t care before, don’t care now. Come on, we need showers.”

“I’m sleeping on the chair then.”

“Yeah, sure.” He replied sarcastically.

He all but forced her to go first; while she washed all the dirt and mud off herself, he prepared a makeshift bed on the chair with bedding he found in the closet. It smelled of mildew, but there was no way he was giving her those blankets and keeping the ones on the bed for himself.

When she came out in a towel, he nearly tripped over the footstool he was adding padding to. He slammed his eyes shut and turned around. “A heads up would’ve been nice.”

He could hear the embarrassment in her voice, “I said your name like 4 times but you didn’t respond. I thought you were asleep. I have shorts on, I was just coming to get my other shirt from my bag.”

He felt silly talking to the wall with his eyes closed. “Don’t tell me you mean Throw Up shirt.”

“Okay, I won’t tell you.”

He groaned in frustration, reaching blindly for the pile of clothes he set out for himself. He felt for his shirt and tossed it in her direction. The noise of it hitting the wall let him know he missed, but he heard her shuffling to pick it up.

“Thank you.”

-

Tyler was about to scold her again when he opened the bathroom door, steam wafting out into the room, but found her asleep in the chair. She was curled into herself, legs pulled to her chest and secured by the mildew blanket. He shook his head in disbelief and pulled at the blanket to try and wake her up. She groaned and pulled the blanket back against herself.

“Harlow. Wake up. Take the bed.”

She simply groaned in response, turning to tuck her head farther against the chair.

“Baby, I’m not playing this game. Take the bed.”

Her words were almost incoherent, but he managed to decipher them, “If I’m in th’ bed, then you will be too. M’not takin’ from you.”

“Suit yourself, then.” He said, placing one arm under her back and the other under her knees, lifting her and bringing her to the bed.

He let her get settled and couldn’t ignore her shivers. He reduced the fan speed on the AC before climbing into bed behind her, his back to the door. He kept distance between the two of them, but she was shaking so hard it nearly turned the mattress into a massage bed.

“C’mere.” He hooked his arm around her torso and pulled her into himself. He was still pulsing with warmth from the shower. “You wouldn’t be cold if you had used hot water for your shower.”

He wasn’t aware if she was conscious or if she was acting on instinct, but she curled up into him, fitting like the puzzle piece he’d been missing for a decade.

-

Two and a half weeks passed. And so did her mother. Kelly announced her.

Her first call was the coroner’s office. Her second was Tyler. It had been radio silence since that night in the motel. He walked her to her car and made her promise to text her when she got home safe; aside from that, Tyler was trying to mentally piece himself back together enough to go back to never seeing Harlow James again.

The phone hadn’t even finished its first ring before he picked up. She was sobbing and incoherent, but he knew. He promised her he’d be there as soon as he could; he beat the police. He held her as she sobbed for her mom on the lawn as they wheeled her out the house. She spent every moment since that night with her mom, even those nights at Ruth’s. She savored every moment with the woman who raised her, but it wasn’t enough. She had too many memories of New York, and not enough of her mother. Her visits were so infrequent that her mother's weight loss was stark instead of gradual. But she knew if she had the chance to do it all again, her mother would be the one telling her to do it, that in order to find herself, she had to start anew.

Tyler was one of the pallbearers. After he did his duty, he found his place right back next to her. He held her while she cried, while she laughed, and while she sat there blankly. Everyone in town talked about how good it was to see the two together again despite the circumstances. And Harlow found herself wondering if maybe her mother knew this was how it was going to end all along. That she could be happy in this town. That the storm he caused would only be tamed by him.

And maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t be pretending anymore.

[oneterabyteofkilobyteage]

original url http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Hall/6275/ last modified 2007-11-13 14:44:33

[sexylonestar]

Sock # 6275

[hallokatzchen]

Big Boy (NSFW fic)

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara/(pre-pregnancy) Jessica Drew. Mentions of Jessica's husband, a brief appearance by Peter B. Parker.

Setting: Jessica's first day in the Spider Society.

Word count: 6275

Contains: Size kink, Miguel being a showoff, enthusiastic consent, body worship, praise kink, handjobs, fingering, oral (female receiving), squirting, PIV sex, belly bulge, cream pie, cum eating, intercrural sex (thighing).

Summary: Thanks to Miguel O'Hara, Jessica Drew discovers she has a size kink.

Author's note: Their appearances are based on early concept art where Jessica has box braids instead of an afro, and Miguel has long hair. Yes there will be art for this. Speaking of art, look at this beautiful pic by Marbipa. That's exactly how I pictured him for this fic. Go show them some love, please.

After over a year of preparation, today was finally the day when Jessica Drew, the Spider-Woman of Earth-332 (or 404 depending on who you ask), becomes a part of the Arachno Humanoid poly Multiverse a.k.a. The Spider Society.

“Upon further review, we have decided that you would be a perfect fit for our organization. After all of these years of on-screen meetings, we're looking forward to finally meeting you in person”, Miguel's chipper (for him) voice spoke through her laptop speakers.

“Thank you so much! I won't let you down”, Jessica was beaming but doing her best to reel in her excitement. As soon as she closed the lid of her laptop, she almost knocked it off the bed when she jumped up to do a victory dance. After texting her husband at work to tell him the good news, Jessica set off to get dressed and packed her things for her trip to Nueva York.

Right after she pulled on her jacket and checked her hair, she noticed that several small objects in her bedroom began to levitate, and the air crackled with electricity as the room filled with a bright yellow glow when a portal opened near the foot of the bed. She took a deep breath and gathered her luggage and set foot into the portal, and was whisked away with a surprised gasp.

The trip was like the acid-infused lovechild of a roller coaster and a color effect car wash as Jessica was bathed in multicolored light while being hurtled along inside the portal towards her destination. Her eyes narrowed when she saw the opening near the end shining bright, and she braced herself for the landing.

What she thought was going to be a rough landing turned out to be surprisingly smooth as the portal tube slowed her speed to something akin to getting off of a fast moving escalator. She tightened her grip on her bags, and set her foot out to meet the smooth metal floor as she stepped out into the main lobby of the building. “Whoo!” She exclaimed and brushed a few errant braids from her face and took a moment to steady herself. “That's going to take some getting used to”.

She set her suitcases by a nearby bench and smiled when she heard a familiar voice calling for her. “Peter?”, Her smile grew wide when he greeted her with open arms “So good to see you!”

“Welcome aboard, Jess!”, Parker squeezed her tight then stood back to look at her. “Good to see you, too. You're going to love it here!”, He glanced past her shoulder at her luggage. “I'll get someone to take your bags to your quarters”, Peter waved down one of the interns that was milling around the facility and pointed them to your bags. “Miguel should be along shortly to give you the tour”, He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in to whisper “Don't worry when you see him. He doesn't bite”.

Peter and Jessica looked over when they heard the other Spiders clamoring and giving their good morning greetings while they parted to let a tall figure walk through. “Well speak of the devil!” Peter laughed and clapped Jessica's shoulder, inadvertently taking her out of the trance she was in when she saw Miguel coming their way. She had only been communicating with him via video calls, so she had no idea he was tall, let alone THAT tall. He was head and shoulders (dear god those broad shoulders) above the other Spiders as he nodded his greetings to them, and his red eyes sparked when he saw Jessica.

“Ah, Miss Drew. So nice to finally meet you”, His voice was smooth as silk as he offered his hand to her. Peter's eyes darted between them when he saw Jessica standing in awe at the larger man, and he gave a crooked smile as he squeezed her shoulder before he left to snap her back into the real world. At five foot ten, she was by no means a small woman, but she found herself having to crane her neck to look up at Miguel.

“Oh!”, She gave a nervous chuckle and let him take her hand for for a shake, and she felt her stomach flip when his large hand engulfed hers for a surprisingly gentle squeeze. “It's Mrs. Drew”, Her voice stammered slightly while she tried her best to not focus on the size of Miguel's hand.

'Mrs.? Even better', Miguel thought to himself and let his fingers linger for a few seconds longer than they should have before pulling back from the handshake. “Come, (sweet lord the way he said 'come' sent a shiver up and down her spine) I'll show you around”.

She walked alongside him as he gave her the tour of all the communal areas of the building, her eyes taking in everything, including brief glances at Miguel when she got the chance. 'God he's so big...', was the recurring thought in her mind while she looked up at him, hanging on his every word and getting lost in those wine colored eyes that flickered bright red when he caught her looking.

She wasn't the only one stealing a glance as Miguel took advantage of their height difference to catch a glimpse of Jessica's cleavage in the form fitting tank top under her leather jacket. His tongue traced over the back of his teeth as he tried to push down the thought of burying his face between her breasts right then and there.

Most of the building was walkable, but there were certain areas designed for the Spider-folks to climb or swing through. Miguel shot a neon web towards a beam and smiled wide while he gestured for Jessica to follow him. She shot several streams of webs from her fingertips and flicked her wrist to make them twine together and swung in to join him. Thanks to his size he was very easy to see to keep up with as he swung deftly between the beams and platforms. Jessica easily kept up with him, her eyes locked on the way the muscles of his broad back bulged and tensed with each swing, and she almost missed her mark on a beam that she quickly corrected with a shot of web from her other hand.

Jessica made sure to focus from here on out and followed him to the upper levels until they reached a large balcony that overlooked the lobby down below. They both swung over the rail and landed on the level that contained Miguel's office. She took a moment to catch her breath and leaned on the railing to look down at the Spiders milling away in the lobby. They looked so small from up here, and it really drove home how vast the building was.

“Impressive, isn't it?”. The thick slabs of Miguel's triceps on display as he leaned down to place his hands on the railing. Smirking when he caught Jessica looking again.

“Yeah... Yeah it is”, Her voice went quiet when she saw that red glint in his eyes, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when he put his hand on her shoulder.

“C'mon. Let's go into my office”.

In order to not be too distracted by him, Jessica pretended to look at some of the tech that lined the walls of the spacious room while Miguel gave her the rundown of what the Spider Society (of course he didn't call it that) was about. She nodded and asked questions when she needed to, but the way Miguel leaned against his desk with his massive arms folded across his broad chest was not doing her concentration any favors.

He chuckled quietly and decided since they were alone in his office, the time for professionalism was over. He looked Jessica in the eyes with a mischievous smile. “See something you like, Mrs. Drew?”, He purred and purposely flexed his arm when he reached up to run his hand through his hair.

Jessica's breath caught in her throat. “Was I that obvious?”. A nervous smile along with a deep blush crossed her face as she pushed one of her braids behind her ear.

“You weren't exactly subtle...”, Miguel teased while he raised up for a stretch. His long arms reached for the ceiling before coming down into a double bicep pose. “Then again, neither am I”.

That was it. As much as she tried to hold back, Jessica couldn't help but to close the distance between them and reached up to run her fingers over his arm. She bit her lip in a failed attempt to stifle a moan when she tried to put her hands around his bicep and her fingertips didn't touch. “Dear god you're so big...” Her voice was barely above a whisper while her hands moved from his arm and fanned across his broad shoulders. “May I?” She looked up at him with with doe eyes as her hands slowly moved towards his chest.

“You may”, Miguel put his hands on his hips and looked down at Jessica to watch her hands move down his chest. He hummed his appreciation when he felt her warm palms glide over his pecs, and drew a gasp from her when he flexed them under her touch.

“You're so corny”, She laughed and curled her fingertips to playfully dig her nails into his pecs which caused a low groan to rumble in his chest. “Oh? I see you like that”, She smirked and did it again, dragging her nails down his chest and stopping right above his nipples. Miguel gasped and rolled his head back at the sudden pressure near such a sensitive area which prompted Jessica to move her hands from his chest and trail them up the sides of his thick neck. His hand came up to take her right wrist and gave it a gentle squeeze when she lightly pressed her thumbs to his Adam's apple. His other hand moved around her waist to pull her close. He smiled and reached down to grab a handful of her ass and pressed her flush against him.

“Keep that up and I'll show you how big I really am”.

Her left hand went from his neck to caress his jaw. “I was hoping you would”.

He chuckled and let go of her wrist and cupped her chin in his hand. “May I?”, He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers and breathed in the sweet scent of her lipstick. Hoping she would say yes.

“You may”, Her voice was low and lustful as she slid her arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss. Miguel hummed into the kiss while his hands moved under Jessica's jacket to pass over her toned back, before they eased down to settle on the swell of her behind. He leaned back against his desk and gave her ass a firm squeeze to hold her close and let her feel how much he wanted her. Her fingers toyed with his hair and twirled the long strands while she rested against him and felt his warmth radiating through his suit. “You run hot. I like that”, She murmured into his mouth. Earning another squeeze of her ass that encouraged her to roll her hips.

Miguel groaned and nipped Jessica's bottom lip when he felt her move against him. He felt her heat on his shaft, which was pressed tightly against his thigh as the damp material of her leggings rubbed over it. He moved his left hand to her hip to hold her still and eased his right hand down her taut stomach. The material digitally retracted to uncover his hand when it slipped past the waistband her leggings. She buried her face into the crook of his neck when she felt two of his fingertips swirl over her swollen clit before they eased down to her entrance and slowly pushed their way in.

Her hands tightened in his hair when she felt herself stretch around his fingers. Just one of his fingers was as thick as two of hers, so two of them were almost unbearable. She tensed around his fingers and squeezed his thigh with hers and gasped into the side of his neck when his fingers pressed against her g-spot just right to bring her over the edge.

His free hand came up to rest on the back of her neck and gave it a reassuring squeeze while she bucked against his palm to ride out her release. He pulled his hand from her leggings and brought it up so she could see her wetness run down his fingers. “Mrs. Drew. You barely know me, but look at how wet you are for me”, He drawled and made a show of his tongue slowly licking his fingers clean.

Jessica's eyes went wide at the sight of the long appendage as it slid out of his mouth to glide over his fingers, and she blushed when he let his tongue pass between his fingers in an obvious hint to what he wanted to do next.

“May I?”

He barely finished his question before Jessica was tugging at her leggings and pulling them down her ample hips. Miguel continued to languidly lick at his fingers while he watched her toe off her boots and kick them aside before tossing her leggings and jacket next to them, leaving herself in nothing but her socks and red tank top.

“Look at those thighs...”, He practically purred while he scooped Jessica up with one arm and sat her on his desk. “I can't wait to have them on my shoulders”, He grinned and knelt before her to take in the sight of her dark skin glistening with her arousal.

“Mm... Your husband is a lucky man”.

His breath was hot against her skin as he leaned in and placed a kiss on the crux of her thigh right next to her sex, and the next kiss went right to her clit before he sucked the swollen nub into his mouth. Jessica moaned and rolled her head back, causing her long braids to brush over the surface of the desk. Her hand combed through Miguel's hair and came to rest on the back of his head, and her fingertips lightly scratched his scalp to let him know he was doing a good job when he sucked and licked at her clit just right. “God you're so good at this...” Her words choked when he nipped at her mound right above her clit before he slowly swirled his tongue over the sensitive bud.

She leaned back and rested her elbows on the desk when Miguel slid his arms under her thighs to pull them onto his shoulders as promised. Her legs tightened around him when she heard him growl and felt him push his long tongue inside of her. Her heels dug into his back when he began to pump his tongue in and out of her, occasionally curling the tip to drag it over her g-spot and swallowing down each rush of wetness that flowed into his mouth.

When he felt her start to clench around his tongue, Miguel reached up and slid his hand under Jessica's top to grope and squeeze her breast. His large hand easily covering it while he kneaded the soft flesh in time with each push and pull of his tongue. Keeping it up until her thighs pressed into the sides of his head and she gushed into his mouth.

She was speechless as her mouth hung open when she felt Miguel lap at her cunt to swallow and savor every drop. His hand was still on her breast and idly played with her nipple while her chest heaved in her attempt to calm her breathing. “Wow...” She panted when she looked down and saw Miguel looking up at her with her essence dripping from his chin. “I've never done that before”.

“I bet you haven't”, He smiled and wiped his chin on the back of his hand, then licked his skin clean. He leaned in close, bracing his hands on the desk and caged Jessica in. “I can do that for you whenever you'd like”. He dotted a kiss on her forehead, tasting the salt of her sweat. “Consider it one of the perks of the job”, He grinned and rolled his hips against her and watched her squirm when his clothed cock pushed against her overstimulated cunt.

“Want to see the main one?”

Jessica nodded and bit her lip in anticipation when she saw Miguel's suit begin to digitally retract. Her eyes followed the pixels as they flickered and dissolved down his neck, over his chest, and down his narrow waist until he was clad in nothing but a jockstrap that left very little to the imagination. He gave her a lopsided grin and ran his tongue over his teeth while he gave himself a squeeze through the thin fabric, then hooked his thumbs into the waistband to pull the jock down.

Jessica watched with undivided attention while he eased the jock over his thick thighs until it fell freely to the floor and was kicked to the side, and she gasped when he stood up and his cock slapped heavily against his stomach. “Oh... my... god...”, Her words were muffled by her hand over her mouth at the sheer size of it, and her thighs instinctively squeezed shut.

“You like it?”

She nodded. Her eyes still wide, her hand still firmly in place over her mouth, and her thighs rubbed together in equal parts fear and want. His red eyes trailed over her and flickered brightly when he saw her wetness dripping off the edge of his desk.

“You want it in that pretty little cunt?”

She nodded again. Her hand moving from her mouth to bite her knuckle when she saw Miguel's cock bow under its own weight when he walked towards her. His hands settled on her knees and easily pushed her legs apart before he leaned in close and breathed into the crook of her neck. A sly smile crossed his face when he felt her tremble against him when his length pressed against her stomach.

“Want to touch it?”, He whispered and flicked his tongue along her earlobe before he gave her earring a playful tug with his teeth. Jessica was snapped back into reality when she felt the pull on her ear, and looked down to see the thick head of Miguel's cock leaving drops of precum on her stomach.

“May I?”, Her voice hitched when she felt it pulse.

“You may”, He guided her hand down to place her palm on the head to feel its warmth. He pressed his lips to the side of her neck and lazily sucked on her skin while she rubbed the head of his cock to slick her palm before she tried to close her fingers around his shaft. Gasping softly when her thumb and fingers couldn't touch because of how thick it was.

“Y-you're huge!”, The last part coming out louder than planned when she felt Miguel's fangs graze over her skin.

“I know”, He grinned against her skin and pressed his fangs to her when her thumb pressed into a sensitive area under the head. He continued to kiss and lick at her neck, surely to leave a mark that she would have to hide from her husband, while he rocked his hips into her touch. His precum squeezing out with every push and pull and slicking Jessica's hands along with his shaft. Miguel's shoulders tensed when he felt her reach down to cup his balls, and she curled her fingers to feel how one of them could barely fit in her hand before she went back to stroking his length.

His brows furrowed and his breath grew heavy on her neck when she started to move her hands faster. He groaned into her skin while his right hand moved up her back to wrap several of her braids around his fist to pull her head to the side. His fangs nicked the side of her neck just enough to draw small beads of blood, and he quickly lapped them up while his left hand slid between them to move his cock out of her grip. He shifted their weight and gently laid Jessica back on the desk, the cool metal caused goosebumps to flare across her skin while he leaned over her to tease her with the tip of his cock, and smeared his precum over her wet slit.

“May I?”, His voice thick with lust as he looked down at the beauty beneath him. She reached up and slid her arms around his neck and twirled a long lock of his hair through her fingers.

“You may...” Her left leg came up to rest against his hip. “But please be careful. I've never had anyone as big as you before”.

“I will”, He smiled softly while taking in every little detail about her before he leaned down for a kiss. She moaned into his mouth when he reached down to caress her slit with his fingers, then gripped his cock to guide it. She broke the kiss to peck at the corner of his mouth when she felt the slick head slide up and down against her until it finally caught, and her fingers tightened in his hair when he gave a slow roll of his hips to push the head in with a wet pop.

He held himself still when he saw Jessica wince and she tightened around him when the head lodged firmly inside of her. “It's okay... it's okay”, He cooed and stroked her cheek and waited to give her time to adjust. “Let me know when you're ready for a little more, okay?”.

She nodded and took several deep breaths to steady herself, then nudged his hip with her leg to signal that she was ready. Miguel nodded back and bit his lip in concentration while he slowly eased a few more inches in. He stilled for a moment when he saw her eyes well up, and he brushed his thumb near the corner of her eye to wipe her tears. “I know, baby. I know...”, He whispered and kissed her cheek. “I'm sorry it hurts”. He cradled her cheek in his hand, and his eyes darkened to a warm brown as he looked down at her with genuine concern. “I promise it's gonna feel good soon”.

They stayed this way for a few minutes while Miguel continued to console her. Sweet talking and reassuring her while he peppered kisses on her cheeks, and coaxed a laugh from her when he playfully nommed the tip of her nose.

“There's my girl”, He smiled wide and touched his forehead to hers. “We're almost there. We just have a little more to go, okay?”. He adjusted his weight on his forearms and waited for her reply. Jessica looked down between them and her cheeks grew warm when she saw that there was much more than a 'little' more to go.

“All of that is not going to fit, Miguel”, She pointed out and nudged his hip.

“I know”, He acknowledged her signal and gave another slow roll of his hips. “I'm only going as far as she'll let me”, He winced when Jessica gripped his hair tight when the head of his cock brushed against her cervix.

“No more... Right there...”, She panted and pulled him close. His large body covering hers as she brought her legs up to wrap them around his waist. He was only halfway in, but she had never felt this full before in her life. “Please...” Her voice was a whisper as she encouraged him to move, and she choked back a sob when he eased back and pushed in to set a deliciously slow pace.

“You okay?”, He asked while his hips rocked into her, making sure he that he didn't go too deep. “Let me know if I need to stop”.

Jessica groaned beneath him and bit her lip when she felt him pull back. Even though he was being gentle, his size made it feel like everything was being dragged out of her body before he pushed in again. “Yeah... I'm okay”, She managed to grunt out and tightened her grip around him and nearly drove the air out of his lungs when her legs clamped around his waist.

“Ah! Easy... Easy!”, His voice strained at the sudden constriction, and his claws dug into the surface of his desk with a metallic screech. Jessica flinched at the sound and immediately loosened her grip around him.

“Oh god, sorry!”, She quickly apologized and looked over to see his fingertips curled into his desk after they punctured the metal like a soda can.

“Jessica. Look at me”, Miguel's voice was calm yet commanding while he pried his hand from his desk to place it on her cheek. “Are you sure you're okay?”

She shuddered at his touch, knowing that was the same hand that just ripped through steel like it was nothing. “I'm fine...”, Her voice hitched and she leaned into his palm when she felt her tears prickle at her eyes.

“You're just... so much”.

He couldn't help but smile and leaned in to place a gentle kiss on her lips. His hands moved to her back to lift her from the desk and hold her against his chest. His left hand came down to cradle her behind to hint that he wanted to pick her up.

“May I?”, He dotted a kiss to her forehead and waited for her reply.

“You may”, She sniffled and rested her head on his chest, nuzzling her cheek into his chest hair when he raised her off the desk and held her like she weighed nothing.

He adjusted his grip and lifted her just right where he could move without going too deep. “I got you”, He whispered and kissed her temple while he idly shifted his weight to rock from one foot to the other to soothe her. “Let me know...”

Jessica closed her eyes and trailed her fingertips lightly over his chest before her palm came to rest over his heart. “Please”, She sighed and tensed around him to encourage him.

His right hand rubbed her back through the damp fabric of her tank top while he planted his feet and began to rock his hips into her with a nice slow pace, holding her in place where she could feel everything without discomfort. Her fingers curled into his skin when a thick vein on his cock rubbed against her g-spot, and her body shook when a deep growl rumbled in his chest and vibrated through her.

“You feel so good...” Her praise strained through her gritted teeth as his big cock continued to slowly slide in and out of her dripping cunt. Her hands moved from his chest and came up to grip his shoulders and she pulled up on him to kiss and lick at his neck before finally reaching his mouth. Miguel raised her up to meet him, and Jessica caught his lips with a passionate kiss that he eagerly returned. She gasped into his mouth when the change of position raised her up just right so the thick, firm ridge of the head of his cock rubbed over her g-spot while he continued his slow pace.

“I'm close...” Was all she could say before she wrapped her arms around his neck and gripped his hair while she buried her face into his shoulder and began to move her hips to meet his languid thrusts until her release came. She cried out into his skin and squeezed him tight as she gushed on his cock, and her release splashed onto Miguel's legs and dripped down to the floor.

“Fuck!”, Miguel grunted and stepped back to a dry spot when he felt her orgasm pool by his feet. He took a moment to steady himself and adjusted his grip on her to take her back to the desk. He laid her down, making sure to avoid the jagged metal where his claws dug into the desk earlier, and cradled the back of Jessica's head in his hands. His brown eyes taking on a red tinge again as his own release drew closer.

“I'm gonna go a little deeper, okay?”, He huffed and pressed his forehead to hers. “May I?”

“You may”, Jessica nodded and swallowed hard when she felt Miguel's cock push further in. She reached down to where they connected and wrapped her fingers around him as best as she could and felt his slick shaft slide under her touch until his pelvis met hers.

Despite being close, Miguel had to will himself not to come when he bottomed out inside of her. He groaned at her tight, wet heat around him and moved one hand from behind Jessica's head to take her hand and guide it down to her stomach. He smiled when he saw her eyes grow wide when he placed her hand on the firm bulge just below her navel.

“That's me”, His voice soft but full of pride as he placed his hand over hers and pressed down a little. Drawing a gasp from her when she felt it pulse under her palm. “Oh my god you are too much!”, She meant that in so many ways when her head rolled back into his palm with a strained laugh.

“And you love every bit of it”, He grinned and playfully nipped at her lip and began to move with a slow grind. Jessica reached up and cupped his face with her free hand and practically purred into his mouth as she pulled him in for makeout session while he chased his release.

His movement was a nice slow series of shallow thrusts that managed to stretch and massage Jessica just right without hurting her, yet with just enough friction to push him closer to his own climax. “I'm getting close, baby”, He groaned and tightened his grip on her hand, and after a few more shallow thrusts he gave one last push to reach his release.

Jessica gasped and tightened around him when she felt his flood of warm cum fill her to overflowing. Miguel continued to rock his hips and he pressed his hand down on hers to let her feel how his cock pulsed in her belly with each shot, before finally resting his forehead to hers.

“You were amazing”, He sighed and nuzzled his nose to hers before dotting kisses on her lips. “You took me so well...”, His praise interrupted for a moment while he eased his hips back to carefully pull himself from her warmth. “You looked so pretty on my cock”.

Jessica felt her core grabbing around nothing when he finally pulled free, and blushed when she felt a large gob of his cum squeeze out and splatter onto the floor. She hummed blissfully and let her fingertips trail over Miguel's arm when he raised up to step back to admire his work. His hands on his hips while he took in the sight of her laid back on his desk, completely fucked out and gaping, and her skin glistening while his thick cum oozed out of her clenching cunt.

“God you're fucking beautiful...” He purred and dropped to his knees in front of her, earning a startled yelp when he buried his face between her trembling legs.

“Miguel, please...” Jessica's voice was a tired drawl while she draped her forearm over her eyes when he began to lap ravenously at her overstimulated slit. She couldn't help but curl her sock clad toes at the obscene slurping noises that filled the room, and laid her leg over his shoulder to lazily rub her heel on his back. “I don't think I have it in me”.

“Honestly, you do have it in you”, He pulled back for a moment and slid his index finger inside to scoop up some of his cum. “Which is why I'm getting it out of you”. He raised his finger up to his lips and let his seed drip into his mouth. “Destroy the evidence, right?”, He winked and leaned back in to lick and suck more of it out of her.

Jessica just shook her head with a quiet laugh and laid back to let him finish. Idly running her fingers through his hair, then digging her heel into his back when he got a little carried away and dragged his fang over her mound. “Easy, big boy”.

He looked up at her with a mischievous glimmer in those red eyes and kept them on her while he slowly pushed his tongue inside her to lick out the last bit of his cum, then tilted his head back so she could see his Adam's apple bob when he swallowed it.

He stood and helped Jessica out of her soaked tank top and tossed it over with the rest of her discarded clothes, then scooped her up from his desk and called for LYLA to have someone come collect her clothes to dry clean them, and take care of the mess they made in his office. “Time for a quick tour of my quarters”, He chuckled and carried her bridal style through the large door that lead to his personal living space. Like his office it was spacious and washed in amber lighting and sparsely decorated, but it had everything that one could need. A few scenarios raced through her head when she looked over to see the large bed in his master suite before they headed into the bathroom.

Miguel set Jessica down on the built-in bench outside of the shower and knelt down to take off her socks, pulling a laugh from her when he brought her foot to his lips for a kiss. “Oh my god stop!” She snorted and pushed her other foot to his chest. He laughed and turned on the shower and adjusted the water where it was nice and warm, but not too hot, then took her by the hand to guide her through the large glass door. He stood behind her and let her lean against him while he ran his bodywash coated hands over her skin. Taking time to massage her neck where his mark had already started to bloom before moving down to work over her shoulders.

His hands moved down over her chest, the bodywash foaming and sliding over the curve of her breasts as he gave them a gentle squeeze. His thumbs circling over her nipples for a moment before his hands moved down and settled on her stomach. He leaned down and rested his head on her shoulder while his right hand lingered where his cock caused her stomach to bulge. Her hand joined his, settling on top of it and idly stroking a prominent vein on the back of his hand. She relaxed and sighed when his other hand moved over her hip then eased down to caress her mound.

“May I?”, His question echoed in the shower while his ring and middle fingers stopped right above her clit.

“You may”, Her answer echoed back followed by a sound of pleasure when Miguel's fingers began to rub a slow circle over her. Jessica closed her eyes and hummed when she felt Miguel's cock press against her. Pulsing hot and hard against her shower slicked skin. She stood with her feet apart and positioned herself so his shaft could pass between her thighs and rub against her slit. She bit her lip and moaned when the head of his cock bumped against her and almost caught, but he pulled back to make sure he didn't go inside. As much as he wanted to take her again, he didn't want to overwhelm her too much on her first day here.

Thanks to being overstimulated already, it didn't take long for Jessica to come. She reached down and grasped Miguel's cock when she saw it peek between her legs, and gave him a squeeze before she began to stroke him until he came. Even though he just came a little while ago, this load was just as thick as the last as it splattered on the shower wall and washed down the drain.

When they were done in the shower, Jessica came out to see that her clothes were clean and set neatly on a nearby counter top. She leaned over into the shower and squeezed the excess water from her braids and put them up into a large bun while Miguel handed her a towel to dry herself off. After drying off they got dressed and headed back to Miguel's office to see that everything was cleaned and in order as if their marathon session had never taken place.

Before they reached the door, Miguel took her hand and leaned down to place a kiss on her knuckles like a gentleman despite being the reason that she will be very sore in the morning.

Peter was right. She's definitely going to love it here.

[flopperpants]

@cicadatree I went on Cricket (DA-6275-2460-9783), waited until nightfall, and stole all the art from your museum. Muahaha what are you gonna do???

Marshal was on to me…

[benkaden]

Ansichtskarte

Das neue Stralsund.

Köthen/Anhalt: Heldge-Verlag KG, Köthen/Anhalt (P 1/65 IV-14-45 M 6275)

1965

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Interventions Part One

Season Two Episode Six

Dr. Spencer Reid x Reader (Aaron Hotchner’s Sister)

Words: 6275

Series Masterlist

Summary: Y/N spirals out of control. Spencer and Aaron recruit the whole team to help. 

Notes: This one is going to be crazy long, but I’m really excited to dive into each relationship the reader has with everyone on the team. I was really planning on making this one part to keep the season nine episodes, but I thought, fuck it. There’s so much to go over in this. I was going to do more with JJ, but since she wouldn’t actually be there, I shortened it, but I think it still conveys the importance of their friendship. Obviously, both of these parts are going to jump scenes a lot, but I hope it’s still clear. 

Warnings: Alcoholism, suicidal thoughts/actions, depression, PTSD, etc. (both of these are going to be pretty intense, so ye have been warned)

-

He carried it with him. The envelope, though thin, it weighed in his pocket every day like a stone pressed against his heart. It was too painfully familiar, the sweeping letters of his name. The note left by Jason Gideon haunted yours, the sting of abandonment fogging Spencer’s mind with more emotions than he knew how to handle. 

It’d been three days since everyone got back from Los Vegas. Three days since he saw you, or even heard from you. The worry was making it hard to work. He had no idea where you were or if you were okay. He didn’t even have it in him to be angry. He just wanted you to come home. 

Of course, the team noticed the youngest member’s change in behavior, but everyone assumed he was still recovering from the case with his father. Only Hotch suspected something else was wrong. 

He hadn’t heard from you either. 

The whole morning, everyone worked in a tense silence, like they were all waiting for a bomb to go off, but they didn’t know when. Emily darted back and forth between her desk and Hotch’s. She feigned a series of questions about cases, but really she was just checking to make sure he was okay. She’d noticed he’d seemed more stressed than usual lately and figured it was because of worrying about you. Of course, everyone was worried about you. Morgan had asked about you more than usual and Emily hadn’t quite figured out why. 

It was around one, right after everyone got back from lunch- whoever decided to leave- that the said bomb hit. 

“Guys,” Prentiss said, eyes glued to the news playing on the television. 

“Pine River Psychiatric Hospital outside Oregon City, Oregon has released a statement today announcing the death of mass murderer, Lydia Y/L/N, the woman responsible for what the press called ‘The Birthday Cake Killings,’” the anchor announced.

 The room went silent. Reid was frozen in his chair and his hands started to shake. Hotch came out of his office and watched with them.

 “Lydia Y/L/N killed six teenage girls at her daughter’s birthday party in the spring of 1998. She pleaded insanity and was sentenced to life in psychiatric care. Y/L/N leaves behind her daughter, the only victim to have survived the murders-”

Hotch muted the television. 

“Oh my god,” Prentiss exclaimed. “Does Y/N know?” 

Hotch nodded. “They would have called her first. She’s Lydia’s only next of kin.” He turned to Reid who hadn’t stopped staring at the TV. “Reid, did you see her this morning? Did she seem-”

“She left me,” Reid said, almost to himself, but loud enough for Morgan to hear. 

“What?” Morgan boomed. “What do you mean, she left you?” 

Reid spoke quietly like a broken man trying to find the pieces. “The night we got back from…” he took a deep breath and finally turned around to find everyone’s anxious gazes burning into him. “From Las Vegas, I found this on her desk.” He pulled the note out of his jacket pocket, looking down at his name in your beautiful handwriting. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Morgan asked. 

“I didn’t think I needed to announce the condition of my love life, and frankly, I wasn’t ready to talk about it,” he fired back. “I figured she would’ve told you,” he added, looking up at Hotch. 

“She didn’t,” Hotch said. A thick, heavy feeling of dread filled his chest like molten metal. 

“Damnit!” Morgan yelled, kicking his chair back. It hit the floor with a deafening crash. 

Rossi came out of his office. “What’s going on?” 

“Y/N’s mom died,” Prentiss answered, still shocked by her partner’s outburst.

“Is Y/N okay? Does she know?” He asked.  

“You don’t understand,” Morgan sighed. He took a moment to calm himself down and let his gaze dart between Hotch and Reid. “Y/N’s drinking again.” 

A tense heaviness sank into everyone in the room. In a blink, Reid had crossed to Morgan, his hands gripping the other agent’s shirt. 

“How long have you known and not told anyone?” Reid snapped. 

Morgan was taken aback. He’d never seen the kid like this before. Reid had never been violent with someone else on the team before, but the fierce anger on his face told Morgan just how serious he was. 

He put his hands on his shoulders slowly, trying to urge his hands away from him. “I only found out when I called her to come to Vegas, okay? I was trying to give her the chance to tell you herself, but I think it’s been going on for a while.” 

“Do you have any idea what this means for her?” Reid said, the anger cracking to reveal his panic. “Do you know how much pain she must be in? And now, her mom is…”

“Reid,” Hotch said sharply. 

Reid let go, but Morgan kept his hands on his arms. 

“We’ll find her.”

The two men looked at each other, a shared guilt between them. Morgan knew, if he’d just told Hotch and Reid about you, they could have stopped you from leaving. 

Spencer berated himself for not noticing the signs. He should have seen it. He should have helped you. 

And now you were gone. 

It was like Fairfax all over again, except now, the only villain they would be facing was the one inside of your head. The demons you’d never shared. 

-

JJ

You didn’t know why you answered the phone. You’d been ignoring calls all day and almost turned it off altogether, but the name that came up stopped you. Maybe you thought it was somehow poetic. 

“Hey JJ.”

“Y/N, hi. I-um-I just heard and I want to see how you’re doing.” 

“You know, I didn’t think Aaron would stoop as low as to use the new mother to babysit.” Your words swam in your head as much as they stumbled out of your mouth. 

“I’m not calling for your brother. I want to make sure you’re doing okay.”

“Oh, I’m doing great. I’m curled up, watching stupid Christmas movies about stupid families with stupid mothers who make stupid dinners for their perfectly stupid kids. I’m having a great morning. You?” 

She paused. “Sweetie, how much have you had to drink?” 

“I don’t know why you guys are making a big deal about this,” you huffed. “It’s not like you were there the first time. You don’t know. Maybe I’ve changed. I’m not the woman you met and trusted into your family. Killing someone does that.” You didn’t mean for the last part to slip out, but the liquor loosened your lips. 

“You’re right. We weren’t there,” she said. “But we’re here now. You have people who care about you, Y/N. We just want to help you.” 

You stared at the tv, absentmindedly watching a mother and daughter decorate Christmas cookies. You imagined them licking the frosting off of the spoons and collapsing in a seizing, gasping heap. Just like you and your mom used to. 

“I need you to do something for me, JJ.” You finally said. 

“Of course. Anything.” 

“You’re the front man. Hell, you’re the first person I met that day. You were so sweet and smiley and wonderful.”

 Your words held no bitterness, but a kind of melancholy. Like you were mourning for a life lost. The life where the two of you were friends, where Spencer smiled at being made godfather of her son, and you could look on with something other than total despair in your chest. You could resume pretending that you were a part of their family. 

“You’re the one that looks through everything and decides what cases to present, right?” 

Her tone tinted with confusion. “Yeah.”

“Tell them I’m not one of your cases.” 

“Y/N, wait-”

You hung up the phone. 

-

“Okay. Thanks JJ,” Reid sighed. He leaned his head back against the hallway wall, taking a break from his pacing. He tried calling you again, but no answer. 

JJ said you didn’t sound good. He felt bad for bringing her into this- she should be relaxing at home with Henry and Will, but he knew that she would have driven to the BAU and yelled at him for not keeping her in the loop. 

He knew JJ saw you as more of a sister than just a friend. She was worried. Everybody was. 

“Was that JJ?” Prentiss asked. “What’d she say?” 

“That Y/N is drinking and she’s afraid it’s going to get worse,” he said. “Y/N told her that she’s changed. She doesn’t think she deserves to be a part of us anymore.” He paused and ran his hand down his face. “Because she killed Sarah Cunningham.” 

“She thinks she’s becoming her mother,” Prentiss nodded mournfully. “And now, she’ll never get the closure of coming to terms with it because her mother died.” 

“Morgan should have said something,” Reid snapped. “He knew. He could have- I don’t know- maybe if we’d known we could have stopped her from leaving.” 

Prentiss crossed her arms. “Come on, Reid. You aren’t really mad at him and you know it. This is about something else.” 

He stared at her for a moment, shoulders sinking, and started pacing again. “I should have seen it. I knew something was off, but I didn’t do anything and now-”

“Woah woah woah,” she said, holding a hand out to stop him. “This is not your fault, okay? Y/N would have been careful. She understands behavior just as well as we do. She would know exactly what to hide from you, from Hotch, from everybody.” 

“But I should have seen through it,” he shook his head, voice cracking from the pressure building in his chest. “I didn’t even go after her. She left me that letter and I assumed it was because of Vegas. I thought I’d become too much for her and she left just like-” 

He stopped himself. He didn’t even know who he meant at this point. So many people had left him already. The thought of losing you… it piled on with the rest until he couldn’t see anything else anymore. 

Prenitss’ face softened. “Spencer…” 

“I don’t know what to do,” he cried. “When I almost lost her before, we had a villain, something to go after. Now,” His hands floundered helplessly at his sides. He needed to do something. “She doesn’t want to be found.” 

Emily took the younger agent in her arms and hid her own heartbroken expression in his shoulder. It felt like the team had lost one of their own and, in a way, she thought maybe they had. But she refused to accept that. 

Emily Prentiss, of all people, knew what it was like to protect the people you love from your past. And as her mind started running with the connections, she let Reid go, keeping a hand on his shoulder. 

“We’re going to find her,” she said. “She’s going to be okay. Y/N’s one tough woman, even if she doesn’t see that right now. We have to help her find herself.” 

He nodded and returned to his pacing while Prentiss formed a plan. 

-

Dave- Six years ago

Your arm hung limply in the sling across your chest and the soreness of every motion only made the red tint of embarrassment on your cheeks grow. 

The man sat across from you in a chair in the corner. He flipped absently through a magazine, gazing up every once in a while. 

“I remember you, you know,” you finally said after the silence became unbearable. “You were at my high school graduation reception. You only stayed, like, two minutes, but I saw you there. You’re David Rossi. I’ve read your books.” 

“I would hope you remembered me,” he scoffed, putting the magazine aside. “Who do you think that generous gift came from?” The man smirked and crossed his arms, eyeing you in a way that reminded you of your brother every time you snuck out. “So… wanna talk about how you got here?” 

“Where’s Aaron?” You asked, avoiding his question. 

“Being processed.” 

You nodded, only snippets of the past few hours recovered in your memory. “Right.” You shifted back against the hospital bed pillow and winced. Hangovers and broken bones definitely didn’t mix. You blew out a breath. “That was stupid.” 

“I’ll say,” Former Agent Rossi said. 

You rolled your eyes. “I meant Aaron. He could get fired for something like that, right?” 

“I doubt he will be. Professor Douche isn’t pressing charges so he can keep this all under wraps. Besides, most people in the bureau would have done the same thing,” he glowered. “I know I would have.” 

“Brian isn’t a bad man. He’s brilliant and he’s helped me through-”

“He’s writing a book, Y/N,” Dave blurted. 

You looked away, the reason you drank pouring back into your memory. You’d found the pages on his desk and downed a few glasses of wine, finished a bottle of vodka, and half a bottle of absinthe, by the time he came back to his house. You screamed at him until you fell down a flight of stairs. 

Dave’s face softened with sympathy. “He was using you for content, sweetheart.” 

“That’s not…” You still couldn’t lift your gaze. “That’s not why I did it.” 

He took a seat on the edge of the bed and for some reason, you welcomed his presence. In your years of building up distrust for everyone, this man- basically a stranger- already felt so familiar. 

“I know,” he said. 

“My uncle drowned himself in a bottle of Jack. I haven’t seen him since I graduated, but it’s still, I don’t know. When you don’t have much family, every member counts, right?” You finally looked up at him and found he was listening intently. “That’s why I went over to Brian- Dr. Calvin’s house. I have a key so I let myself in and found the manuscript on his desk.” You didn’t know why you were telling him all this. Maybe you knew, if Aaron trusted him, then you could too. 

He didn’t say anything for a while, only nodded in understanding. After a while, he finally spoke. “You know, I’ve been through a lot with your brother in the years we worked together.” He paused, making sure you understood the importance of what he was about to say. “When he called me tonight, I'd never heard him so scared. Believe me. The broken nose was deserved.” 

You laughed humorlessly, hating the fact that he was right. When you were loaded into the ambulance, you remembered Brian worrying about how he’d look. He screamed at you for bringing him into your problems. He wasn’t anything like the person you’d fallen in love with. Your brother had just seen that all along. 

“You’re a legend in profiling, right?” You said. 

He raised a brow. “I don’t know if ‘legend’ is the word I would use.” He chuckled. “Why?” 

You turned your head to the window. Your lip quivered as the pieces and fractures of memory kept coming back to you. 

“Why do I do it?” When you looked back at him, tears filled your vision. “I mean, I saw what it did to Uncle Robbie. I’ve seen it since I was a kid and I let it happen to me anyway. I welcomed it. Why?” 

“There’s a lot of reasons people turn to alcohol and drugs, especially after going through something like you did,” he said. “It makes sense that maybe you saw a kind of relief your uncle got from it so you tried to find it for yourself.” 

“Is there something wrong with me, Mr. Rossi?” You cried. “For the past four years, I’ve been trying to figure it out. I tried to drink it away, but it just made things worse. I don’t know what to do.”

He put a hand on top of yours. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Y/N. You survived something nobody should ever have to go through. Your entire life changed. Hell, you found out there was another half to your family you didn’t even know about. And you still graduated top of your class. You’ve pushed yourself so hard to prove to yourself that you aren’t that girl anymore that you split yourself in two.” 

You closed your eyes, the tears finally spilling out. You never realized it before. All this time, you’ve spent studying to figure out why your mom did what she did that you never thought to turn what you’d learned on yourself. You were overcompensating in one side of your life and crashing in the other. 

Dave held your hand a little tighter. “It’s time to become whole again.”

-

Although he didn’t show it, Aaron felt sick. The panic had knotted his insides and clouded his head with images of his little sister lying on a motel floor somewhere, choking on your own bile or with a gun in your hand. 

He hated himself for not realizing sooner. He knew the signs. He’d spent two years with you getting through your addiction. The overcompensating and avoidance made sense now. You knew, of all of the people in this office, he’d see through it and he failed. 

“She’ll be okay,” Rossi said from his seat in the corner. “She was before. She’ll find a way back.” 

Hotch shook his head. “This time is different. When Robbie died, she lost a connection to her past self. She mourned the person she used to be, but she came out of it. Now, she lost any amount of closure she could have gotten,” he sighed. “She never went and saw her, you know. Not since the trial. She said she always meant to, to understand, but she could never bring herself to do it. Now, she can’t.” 

“And with what happened in Fairfax…” Rossi blew out a breath. “She thinks there’s nothing now to stop her from becoming like Lydia.” 

“Without her mother as a tether, she thinks there’s nothing stopping her from losing herself entirely. It’s why she left Reid, why she’s been avoiding me,” Hotch said, a tone of helplessness making his voice darken. “She’s protecting us from what she thinks she’s inevitably becoming.” 

Rossi nodded and stood. He walked to the Unit Chief’s desk and put a hand on the edge. “It’s up to us to remind her that’s not what she is. And then we’ll bring her home.” 

A quiet knock at the door interrupted their thoughts. Morgan stood, tension evident in the stiff way he held his shoulders. Like the springs inside of him were waiting to break. Hotch dismissed Rossi with a nod. 

The older agent left and closed the door behind him. 

Morgan shifted uncomfortably. “Garcia tried tracking Y/N’s phone, but she’s got it blocked off somehow.”

“I helped her do that,” Hotch sighed, running a hand down his face. “I didn’t want her to have to worry about fans or copycats trying to get to her. You know what the press was like.”

“Arnold Owens was a real piece of work,” Morgan nodded. “I can’t imagine what that was like for her.” 

“It wasn’t easy, but she was always a tough kid.” The other agent made for the door, but Hotch stopped him. “Have a seat.” 

Morgan clenched his jaw, took a deep breath, and took the chair across from Hotch, the deep sense of dread now mixing with his guilt. 

Hotch centered his gaze on Morgan, the seriousness of his expression softened by the sincerity in his eyes. 

“I don’t blame you for what happened in Fairfax,” Hotch said. 

Of the things Derek was expecting, that was not on the list. He just sat there, blinking for a moment. “I didn’t think that you…” There wasn’t any point in lying, so his voice trailed off. 

“I don’t blame you, Morgan. Owens was the more pressing threat. You couldn't have known the Cunninghams were waiting for her. It wasn’t your fault. Nobody thinks that, including Y/N. I know how you’ve carried it with you. I know you think that’s the reason I’ve been so hard on you and I need you to know, now, that it isn’t.” 

Morgan looked at his hands, clasped in his lap. “I know I should have said something about her drinking, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”

“She asked you not to and you trusted that she would make the decision on her own to seek help. And she might have, had her mother not passed away. That isn’t your fault either.” Hotch leaned forward on his desk. 

The average person may not have noticed the change in his face, the slight hint to just how worried he really was, but Morgan did.

 “I’m telling you this because I need you to have a clear head for all of this,” Hotch said. “I’m afraid you and Prentiss are the only ones who can. You saw what it���s already doing to Reid and I…” He swallowed. “I’ve seen what she’s been through before and I’m afraid this time is only going to be worse. If we all close in on her, I don’t know what she’ll do.” 

Morgan stood with new determination. “I’ll have Garcia work a new angle.” 

“I’ll be right out,” Hotch said. “I need to call Haley in case Y/N said anything to her.” 

“Wherever Y/N is, Hotch, I’m not gonna rest until I bring her back and get her help.” Morgan opened the door and stepped back out to the bullpen, finding Reid still pacing in the hall and Prentiss’ chair empty.

-

Emily

The Christmas movies continued as you downed another glass. You fell back on the bed, staring at the ceiling while your hand reached for underneath the pillow. You stopped halfway, rolling your head to the side and switching your focus to the fabric on the chair. 

Somehow, your legs managed to bring you to the chair and your fingers latch onto the scarf. The soft, purple material made you feel more than you want it to. The guilt. The loneliness. The wish to have him here now like nothing happened. But that was selfish. 

Your mind traveled back to what laid underneath your pillow. 

A soft knock at the door brought you back. 

You groaned quietly and sat back down on the bed, hoping they’d just go away. The manager had checked up on you a couple of times just to make sure you paid, so it was probably just him again, even though you’d paid out for the next few days. 

“Y/N, it’s me.” 

Emily? 

“Crap,” you muttered, but the word itself hardly formed on your lips. Maybe if you were quiet enough, she’d go away. 

“Come on, I know it’s you. Open the door,” Emily boomed. She knocked again, this time louder. It made your head pound. 

“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” you winced. You made your way to the door, tripping slightly on the chair leg. You kept the chain locked and cracked the door open. “Hey Emily.”

She grimaced and put a hand down her nose. “God, you look like hell.” 

“What’re you doing here?” You slurred through the words and swayed on your feet. 

“Can I come in?” 

“I don’t think that’s-” The turning in your stomach cut you off. You slammed the door shut and unlatched the chain. 

“Okay, this is how we’re doing this,” Emily sighed, hurrying after you, hearing the sounds of you vomiting in the bathroom. 

She sat beside you and held your hair as if you were college girls at a party. The hand on your back soothed your sickness until you were able to sit up again. 

“I never had a big sister,” you muttered through your haze. 

Emily didn’t say anything. It broke her heart to see the strong woman she’d come to know reduced to a scared girl on the floor of a sleazy motel bathroom. She could see in your eyes, behind the drunken trance, the despair you were trying to forget. Wrapped around your hand, a long purple scarf was carefully kept off of the floor and in your lap. Even intoxicated, you seemed to protect it. 

“Isn’t it stupid?” You said, noticing her eyes on the scarf. “I stole it. His favorite scarf. I just wanted something I could hold, you know? He’s probably looking for it. Will you give it back to him?” You held it out to her with sad eyes and pouting lips. 

She lifted you off the floor. “No.”

“Why not?” 

“Because you are going to give it to him yourself,” she said. “After we sober you up, so come on.” 

“But I don’t want-”

She pushed you into the shower and turned on the stream of freezing water, ignoring your squeals of protest, only now taking the scarf from your hand. You stood in the spray of icy cold and could feel. 

You got out of the shower and were sick again. After that, Emily decided you seemed conscious enough and took you back into the room, helping you change out of your soaked clothes and forcing a glass of water down your throat. The water was followed by coffee and you switched back and forth between the two. It must have been an hour of just that. No questions. No words. Just water and coffee. 

“Why are you here?” You finally asked, pulling the blanket around your shoulders tighter.

“You’ve got a lot of worried people back home. You know that.” Emily thought back to Reid’s trance over the past few days, his terror as he paced. She handed you the scarf. 

You sniffed. “He hates me now, doesn’t he?” You abandoned him with nothing more than a note- just like his dad, just like Gideon. You didn’t even have the decency to say goodbye. At the time, you just hoped he’d never have to see you again. 

“He misses you.” 

You closed your eyes, rubbing the fabric back and forth in your hands, as if you could conjure his comfort. When you opened them again, you were still just in the motel room, sitting across from Emily’s pitying eyes. 

You blew out a long breath. “How did you even know how to find me?” 

Her expression darkened and she looked down for a moment before returning to your gaze. “Because I’d do the same thing.” This was the part she was afraid of, but she swallowed and kept a straight face. “Now… where is it?” 

You froze, fingers tightening around the scarf. You could deny it. You could say you didn’t know what she meant. But what was the point? 

Emily held out her hand. You leaned back, reached underneath the pillow, and pulled out the gun. She took it slowly, as if reaching too fast would scare you into shooting it. With one hand, she tucked it into her waistband behind her, and with the other she reached for yours. 

“I need to know- I’m not going to be upset with you- but,” she sighed, “did you come here to use this?” Her voice was filled with such sincerity, such concern, you knew you couldn’t lie. 

“I don’t know,” your words were surprisingly steady. “I just wanted to protect everyone.”

She nodded, understanding. “From you?” 

You didn’t say anything. You just turned your head to the window. She continued. 

“Y/N, I know what it’s like to be afraid of becoming just like your parents. Hell, half of the people in your life know what that’s like.” 

You scoffed. “It’s not the same thing.” 

“You’re right, it isn’t,” she said. “But I also know what it’s like to be so terrified of a part of yourself that you’d do anything to keep it hidden. You’d do anything to protect the people you love from the ugly, brokenness you feel.” She squeezed your hand a little tighter. “But all you’re going to do is hurt them.” 

Her words sunk into you like teeth, but the wall around your heart wouldn’t let them completely in. There was still that fear, the sense of inevitability that even her honest eyes couldn’t chase away. But it did make you realize something. You may not have had the strength, but you still needed a failsafe. Just in case she was wrong. 

You wiped the corner of your lip with the back of your hand. 

“I need you to call someone for me.” 

-

The office was buzzing with effort in trying to locate you. Everyone was working even harder since Prentiss just up and disappeared. 

“We know she must have gone to Fairfax,” Reid exclaimed. “Why can’t we just go find her?”

“This is all about protecting us from who she thinks she has become,” Hotch sighed. “If we charge after her, I’m afraid what measures she’d take to keep from ‘hurting’ us.” 

Reid stopped his furious scribbling on the map of the city. He turned to Hotch, wide eyed and terrified. “You don’t think she’d…”

“I think, if she’s pushed herself this close to the edge, then she’ll do anything if she believes it means not dragging us down with her.” 

Spencer let the marker fall to his side and leaned hopelessly back against the table. Statistics unmercifully filled his head. Connections between PTSD and suicide, alcholism and every other dark thought his stupid logical brain could conjure. He should have seen the signs if you had gotten this bad.

“She’s spent her whole life learning how to mask herself, Reid,” Hotch said, as if reading his mind. The older agent was thinking the same thing. He should have known you were avoiding him for a reason. 

“Guys,” Morgan rushed through the doorway, phone in his hand. “Prentiss found her.” He put the phone back to his ear and listened, expression contorting with confusion. “What are you talking about? Just bring her back.” 

Reid opened his mouth, but Morgan held up a hand to stop him. 

“Alright, alright. Text me the place and I’ll meet you there.” 

The shift in his tone made Reid and Hotch stop breathing. Hotch was the first to speak. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Morgan’s head tilted, bewildered. “Prentiss found her. Sobered her up as best she could. But she wants me to pick her up.” 

“What are we waiting for?” Reid exclaimed. “Let’s go.”

“Just me,” Morgan said. “Y/N said it’s important.” He shrugged and looked to Hotch for approval. 

Hotch nodded. “Go.”

Reid whipped his head around. “We aren’t going with him?” 

“If that’s what brings her back,” he sighed. “Yes.” 

- 

Derek

He spent the entire drive trying to wrap his head around it. Why him? Did you still think he was the only one who knew about the drinking? Why wouldn’t you want to see your brother? Or Reid, for that matter? Sure, there was a reason you left him, but of everyone in the BAU, why would you need him to come and get you. 

Derek pulled into the parking lot of the motel Prentiss sent him and spotted both of your cars in front of the room. Prentiss stood outside the door with a duffle bag and a grave expression. 

“Hey,” he greeted, getting out of his car. “What the hell is going on?” 

Prentiss shrugged. “She told me she wanted you to take her back so she could talk to you about something. She wouldn’t tell me what.” She turned to the office where you were checking out. “I’m just relieved she agreed to come back at all.” 

He blew out a long breath. “That bad, huh?” 

“I counted four empty bottles in that room,” she nodded. “And I found this.” Prentiss glanced around before pulling the gun out from her waistband. 

Derek looked down. 

“Do you think she was going to do it?” 

“Honestly…” She sighed. “I don’t think she’d see it as enough. She thinks she deserves this. Deserves being alone and miserable. She’s convinced herself that there isn’t a way out.” 

“Then why did she agree to come back at all?” He mused. 

You finished paying and walked back to where the two agents waited for you, Derek’s hard, worried face staring you down. You straightened your shoulders, determined. He was the only one that could do it. 

“Are we ready?” You asked, picking your duffle bag off of the ground. 

“I guess I’ll just meet you guys back in Quantico.” Emily said, gaze darting between the two of you. 

“Quantico?” You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why would I be going to Quantico?” 

“Because you called me to take you back and that’s where we’re going,” Derek said. 

You made no further argument and got in the car. 

The drive started in tense silence. You didn’t say a word, partially because every motion of the vehicle was making your head sway. You should have taken Emily up on her aspirin offer. 

“So are we gonna spend the next forty minutes in silence, or what?” He chided. 

“Why are you talking so loud?” You groaned, leaning your head against the cool window. 

“God, you’re really out of it still, aren’t you?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Sweetheart, you just spent the last four days on a bender, scaring the hell out of everyone, and breaking Reid’s heart in the process, so fine is not exactly the word I would choose.” 

“This was a bad idea,” you muttered to yourself. Your head’s pounding increased. 

“You wanted me, you’ve got me, but I’m not gonna just drive you back so you can disappear again.” 

You put a hand to your forehead. “Please stop talking.”

“Why did you need me anyway? Do you have any idea what this has been doing to Reid-”

“Pull over.” 

“What?”

“Pull over, damnit.” The ferocity of your tone was all he needed and he quickly got to the side of the road in time for you to be sick again. 

Derek stopped the car and got out, walking around to the other side where you were crouched by the passenger door, hands on your knees to hold yourself up. 

“Great,” he exhaled, crossing his arms. 

“Yeah, well, alcohol poisoning’s a bitch, Derek. I would know.” You stood back up, almost laughing at the ridiculousness of it. Here you were, standing on the side of the road in a puddle of sick, with Derek Morgan’s famous big-brother-protective, but frustrated, gaze locked on you. 

The two of you stood there for a long time. It was just like the police station. His tough-love approach was familiar, almost comforting. It had to be him. 

He seemed to understand the shift in your gaze. “Why did you call me, Y/N?” He stepped towards you. 

“Because they love me too much,” you sighed, coming away from the car and the now soaked earth. 

“What?” 

“You’re the only one who will do it,” you said. “Because they love me too much.” 

 His eyes narrowed, trying to figure out what you meant. They widened again when he understood. “No.” 

“You’re the only one-”

“You can’t actually be serious,” he scoffed. 

“If I… change. If I do something to hurt them. I need you to-”

“That’s not how this works, Y/N. You know that. You’ve spent the last ten years studying it. You aren’t just going to wake up one day and turn into Lydia Y/L/N.” 

“I killed, Derek,” you cried. “I’m a killer. I’m already her.”

“Your mother suffered a severe psychotic break due to undiagnosed PTSD from your father’s abuse,” he said slowly. “Why are you so convinced that that’s who you are?”

“Because everything I touch dies!” 

Your hand hit his chest before you really knew what you were doing. You pushed again. 

“Arrest me.” 

“I’m not gonna do that.” 

You hit him again, this time harder. “Derek, arrest me. Stop me. Do something! Arrest me, damnit!”

“Y/N, stop.” 

“I can’t go back. You have to end it. I can’t- please- I can’t do it alone. Derek, please.”  

He caught you before you fell, holding you up against his chest as your arms fell defeated to your sides. Sobs muffled against him and tears stained his dark shirt. You kept muttering the same things over and over again until they didn’t make sense to you anymore. Derek lowered his voice to a persistent, caring whisper. 

“Y/N, running away isn’t going to save us. You can’t protect anyone by destroying yourself,” he sighed, keeping his arms locked around your shaking frame. “Or asking me to.”  

“You don’t- you don’t know that.” 

“I know you. And I know how crazy Reid and your brother are going right now worrying about you,” he said, still holding on. “They aren’t afraid of you, sweetheart. They’re afraid of losing you.” He pulled back, tucking a finger under your chin to lift your head. “If I don’t bring you back, that kid is going to lose his mind, you hear me?” He smiled slightly. “I know the fight you’ve got in your head isn’t one that I can just pull you out of, even though I want to. But that’s the thing, Y/N. You have to keep fighting.”

You closed your eyes, more tears cascading down your cheeks. He kissed your forehead. “Let’s take you home, okay? I talked to Garcia and she said we can use her office and you can tell me everything. Or you can say nothing. It’ll be up to you.” 

With a deep breath, you nodded, opened the car door and climbed inside. 

-

(I know I forgot to post last week, I'm sorry!)

The In-Betweens series: @amywright; shesoperfectt;  hereforsmutbcicantgetenough;  violetbossler;  hyper-half-blood;  i-bitch-you-bitch; xcastawayherosx; preciousbabypeter; @jori21; @sol-48;  @murdermornings ; @ staygoldsquatchling02; @ ara-a-bird

[y2sims]

Four Random Requested Hairs in The New Hair System.

colors by pooklet.

original textures.

binned, familied, tooltipped and compressed.

all four colors are in one .package file.

all the meshes are included.

requested by a couple of anons.

4t2 Aladdin Rebecca Hair

mesh conversion by frauhupfner

ages tf - ef

8450 polys

DOWNLOAD: mf // sfs

Meduza Antennas Hairstyle

mesh and textures by @jellymeduza

ages tf - ef

972 polys

DOWNLOAD: mf // sfs

4t2 Saurus Samantha

mesh conversion by frauhupfner

ages cf - ef

6275 polys

DOWNLOAD: mf // sfs

4t2 Softpine Flyaway

mesh conversion by frauhupfner

ages cf - ef

10226 polys

DOWNLOAD: mf // sfs

[lockscreenxd]

Lockscreens 6275-78

Reblog/Like if you use / save it

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Do Not REPOST

[thenyougetbackup]

earth-6275 mysterio

current film student in uni, hasn't been expelled bc of criminal activity (yet to be caught) and tech/robotics enthusiast since before the womb. partnered with herman's business in the criminal world (partly to pay for uni fees), providing robotic dupes and hallucinogenic smoke bombs for gangs to evade police. adores herman but also gets mad he won't charge more for their work

quentin's robots will act on its own with a default code (clients are mostly robbers anyway). if needed quentin can transfer the program into a lil remote he gives the client or his gauntlets, then run specific sequences with them -- the latter option for robots he's personally using and actively directing

[kabrumithrun]

New Fic: Negotiations

https://ift.tt/bcFI2K4 by SuMontienne The Golden Country is experiencing some diplomatic troubles with the Elves of the West. King Laios hasn't a clue how to dissolve tensions--or anything about international politics, for that matter--but luckily for him, Kabru volunteers to be an emissary to the rivaling country. Once arrived, Kabru meets with Captain Mithrun and his Canaries. After arrangements are made with the Queen Immortal, Mithrun (in no part due to Cithis' influence, assuredly) grants Kabru permission to stay in the Canary lodge while he's in the country. Words: 6275, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English Fandoms: ダンジョン飯 | Dungeon Meshi | Delicious in Dungeon Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Multi Characters: Laios Touden, Tansu Floke, Marcille Donato, Kabru (Dungeon Meshi), Mithrun of the House of Kerensil, Cithis Ofri, Fleki (Dungeon Meshi), Otta (Dungeon Meshi), Pattadol of the House of Vari, Lycion (Dungeon Meshi) Relationships: Kabru/Mithrun of the House of Kerensil, Kabru/Mithrun of the House of Kerensil/Cithis Ofri/Pattadol of the House of Vari/Fleki/Otta/Lycion Additional Tags: Biting, Scratching, Breathplay, Knifeplay, Blood Kink, Knotting, Light Bondage, Sensory Deprivation, Body Horror, Body Worship, Sex Magic, Group Sex, Kabru is a slut, Mithrun has erectile dysfunction, Aftercare, Smut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot https://ift.tt/bcFI2K4

[nehswritesstuffs]

Love, Loss, and Finding One’s Self on the High Seas - [MASTERPOST]

WOW, so I went to put this together and apparently I didn’t post this to FFN, nor did I put it fully to tumblr, so I went and dumped it on FFN in the meantime and now this is just taking care of other links and making up some chapter summaries.

Love, Loss, and Finding One’s Self on the High Seas - 40k words - AU where Whole Cake Island was a different sort of rescue mission, leading to Pudding having a longer and more humane character arc as she develops her relationship with Sanji

Chapter One: With her wedding night not having gone as expected, Charlotte Pudding shifts gears and begins to infiltrate the Straw Hat Pirates as their resident baker. Shame a certain sentient moss keeps her from having her husband wrapped around her finger. [6275 words]

[FFN] - [AO3] 

Chapter Two: Cut off from Big Mom and slapped with a bounty, Pudding is forced to become the mask. As she does, Mara begins to find peace. [6904 words]

[FFN] - [AO3] 

Chapter Three: Sanji and Zoro are fighting. Chopper is acting odd. Mara hosts her nephew. Franky needs to wear long trousers. [6380 words]

[FFN] - [AO3]

Chapter Four: The crew gains another princess and a whole lot more headaches. Meanwhile, a power awakens and Floe says her first word. [8507 words]

[FFN] - [AO3]

Chapter Five: The poster squad catches up and the Straw Hats attend a wedding. [7484 words]

[FFN] - [AO3]

Chapter Six: Sanji and Zoro talk after their fight and life, well, continues. [4915 words]

[FFN] - [AO3]

Please remember that comments, reblogs, fun tags, reviews, and general interaction are appreciated!

[sexylonestar]

Nylon # 6275