#911holidaygiftexchange2021

[starlingbite]

With you by my side

Happy Christmas!

This fic has been written especially for @poemjunkie​ for the 911 Holiday Gift Exchange organized by @paranoidbean

>The prompt was:  Any combination of: Buck/Eddie + Chris found family (bonus Tia Pepa and Abuela assume Buddie are 'married' just on the DL and enthusiastically welcome Buck to the family). I really hope you like it! 

Read it on A03 here

Word count: 10.2k Rating: G Summary:  Not long before Eddie rejoins the 118, Frank gives him some homework: some tasks to complete. When Buck finds out about the list, he wants to help. They have until Christmas to tick everything off and somewhere along the way, Eddie realises something very important.

[fcntasmas-archive]

the hildy snaptain h2800

a gift for @cowboydiaz for the 911 holiday gift exchange <333 hope you enjoy this (super very absolutely late) holiday fluff! i’m so sorry!

It’s Eddie’s own fault, really.

He knows he’s supposed to look for a Christmas gift with enough time. But Christopher is ten years old, and he kept changing his mind about what he wanted for Christmas every other day, and by the time he’d found something he stuck with and was actually passionate about, it was two weeks before Christmas and—

Eddie’s not a big fan of technology. That much is a given to anyone who knows him. But Christopher doesn’t take after him in that regard, unfortunately, and so when the new Hildy & Co. invention is announced – a fucking drone, of all things, marketed towards children – it’s all Christopher can talk about. And it’s all he wants for Christmas.

Except it’s sold out. Immediately.

He enlists Buck’s help on the hunt – Buck, at one point, tries to bribe anyone who’s walking out of layaway with one in hand, and it works about as well as one would think (i.e., not well at all) – but apart from some obnoxious sixteen-year-olds laughing in their faces when they asked to know when The Hildy Snaptain H2800 would be back in stock, they found nothing.

(At one point, Eddie overheard Buck tell a woman walking out of layaway with a drone in hand he wasn’t above begging on his knees. The second the woman smirked and called the proposition tempting was the same second Eddie called the layaway tactic off.

Just wasn’t worth it.)

Empty-handed and dejected, is the way Christmas morning finds him.

And, well. Eddie knows Christopher’s not going to make this a big deal. After the long talk they’d had last week about spending another Christmas without Shannon, they’d agreed that the most important thing this year was to spend it together, in good health, with the people that they love.

Christmas Eve is reserved for family – a gathering at Abuela’s in the evening, going through every ritual Eddie’s known since he was a child despite having felt disconnected from them for a long time – and Buck, having been deemed family a long time ago by his grandmother, had been present for the festivities. 

(“There’s no—” Eddie had cleared his throat when extending the same invitation he’s had for the past three years. “Just – I don’t think there’ll be enough food for plus ones, so—”

Buck had given him a quizzical look. “Who would I bring?”

Eddie had stared at him before watching as Buck’s face cleared.

“Oh,” he’d shaken his head. “No, that’s not – she won’t be there.”

They’d left it at that.)

The night, as usual, ran long into the early morning hours, so Buck followed Eddie home from his grandmother’s house and spent the night at the Diaz household, cheek pressed against Eddie’s pillow, mouth wide open, hair a tousled mess. 

They do this, sometimes. Share a bed. The couch is uncomfortable (and a reminder, for Buck, though he doesn’t talk about it – simply had decided he’d rather sleep on the floor than the couch one night, and Eddie had instead invited him to share his bed, like an adult who made adult decisions that weren’t questionable in the slightest, thank you very much) and it’s just easier to navigate the morning when Eddie wakes first if Buck is still snoozing away in his room instead of the couch.

The gifts under the tree are – they’re not exactly prime material, Eddie thinks. They’ll do for what they are – a couple of books, some space diagrams, other things Christopher might have been interested in throughout the year, but there’s no Hildy drone, which he can’t help but be extremely aware of.

Christopher’s already sitting patiently on the couch, staring at the gifts under the tree. 

Eddie watches him for a second, before rubbing at the bridge of his nose and making his way to the couch, taking a seat with him.

“Hey, buddy,” he says, and Christopher smiles up at him.

“Merry Christmas, dad,” he says, then looks over Eddie’s shoulder. “Is Buck still asleep?”

Before Eddie can reply with the affirmative, a loud “Diazes!” interrupts their short exchange.

Buck announces his presence with a cheerful clasp of his hands, appearing from the hallway looking sleep-muddled in that incredibly endearing way that should be impossible for any human being to pull off, and yet.

Christopher grins at the sight of him, and Eddie can’t help but smile, too, because he has absolutely no control over what happens to his face when Buck is around. None. It’s alarming. He should see a doctor about that, actually. Maybe it’s a neurological thing. Does he have a tumor? Oh, my God. Does he have a tumor?

“Eddie,” Buck snaps him back to attention, a puzzled expression on his face. “You with us?”

Eddie blinks. Right. No tumor. Just an irritating side-effect of having feelings for his best friend.

He feels his smile waver, but only slightly. “Yep,” he replies cheerfully, and Christopher eyes him suspiciously. Eddie meets his gaze and raises an eyebrow. “What? Can’t you see me?”

“I can see you,” Christopher replies, but he doesn’t sound convinced.

“Okay,” Eddie takes a deep breath, adjusting his position on the couch so that he’s facing Christopher more directly. This is news he should tell his kid while looking him in the eyes, and definitely something that he needs to do in order to manage his expectations. “Christopher.”

“Dad.”

“Listen – about – about what you’d asked for—”

“Oh, hey!” Buck interrupts loudly enough to warrant a surprised wince from both Diazes. Eddie looks at him like he’s lost his mind. “Hold that thought, would you? I have to bring The Thing in.”

Eddie frowns. “The what?”

“The Thing.”

“The – the movie?”

Buck blinks. “There’s a movie called The Thing?”

“So not the movie,” Eddie offers, and Buck rolls his eyes. 

“No, Eddie, not – would you just not say a single word until I’m back inside, please?”

Before Eddie can agree (or disagree), Buck’s running out the door without bothering with footwear, leaving Eddie and Christopher sitting on the couch in silent confusion.

“He—”

“Dad,” Chris hisses. “He said not to say anything.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Buck is not—”

“Okay!” Buck is back inside, a clumsily wrapped gift in his arms. He kicks the door closed and offers Eddie a huge grin as he makes his way back towards them. “Christopher,” he sets the gift down beside his son on the couch. “Your dad asked me to keep this at my place as a surprise. He was very excited to get it for you.”

Christopher is practically vibrating with excitement, while Eddie continues to look at the wrapped gift blankly. The wrapping paper’s printed with Santa’s reindeer. Even that’s not familiar to him.

He looks over at Buck and raises an eyebrow in question. Buck gives him a look that clearly reads would you just go along with this please and Eddie, being who he is in the face of Evan Buckley, keeps quiet.

“Can I open it?” Christopher asks, looking between Buck and Eddie. “Can I? Can I open it now?”

Eddie realizes Buck is waiting for his go-ahead. “Uh,” Eddie shrugs, because he’s got nothing else. “Sure, buddy. Go ahead.”

Christopher rips into the gift with the grace of a starving pigeon, and before either of them know it—

He’s got a brand new, shiny Hildy Snaptain H2800 before him.

There is silence.

Then Christopher sniffles.

“Oh, god,” Buck looks at Eddie in alarm. “What—”

“Thank you so much,” Chris practically tackles Eddie into a hug, but before he can return it, he’s already pulling away to give Buck one, as well. “Thank you both so much.”

Buck huffs a small laugh as he rubs Christopher’s back consolingly. “Of course, buddy,” he replies. “Are you surprised?”

“I am,” Christopher assures him.

“So am I,” Eddie mutters quietly. “Hey, Buck,” he calls – maybe a little too loudly, considering they’re less about a foot away from each other. “Can I talk to you real quick? Over there?” he gestures towards the kitchen door.

Christopher’s untangling himself from Buck’s grasp and already grabbing his phone, no doubt in order to text pictures of his brand-new drone to his friends and do the bonding things kids do with the weirdest material things.

“Sure,” Buck grins, leaning over to ruffle Christopher’s hair before following Eddie over to the kitchen entrance. “What’s up?”

Eddie looks at him. “What do you mean what’s up?” he hisses quietly. “Where did you – how did you – I thought we couldn’t—”

Buck chuckles. “Eddie, relax,” he holds out his hands to squeeze both of Eddie’s arms, and Eddie almost misses what comes out of Buck’s mouth next because he’s too busy taking note of how absolutely warm Buck’s touch is against his skin. “I had my parents call in a favor.”

And that – definitely breaks the spell.

“What are you – what?”

Buck shrugs. “Maddie reminded me that they’re friends with someone from the Hildy board or something like that, and that if I really wanted a drone, I’d probably have some luck reaching out to them.”

“You—” Eddie blinks at him. “You went to your parents?”

Buck shrugs. 

Eddie shakes his head. “The same parents that – that raised you?”

Buck raises an eyebrow. “I don’t think I have any others?”

“The ones that ditched your therapy sessions.”

Buck huffs. “Eddie—”

“You reached out to them after making it very clear you weren’t interested in having a relationship with them anymore because – because my kid wanted a drone for Christmas?”

“It’s not that big a deal,” Buck insists, taking his arms back. “They just – asked for a phone call once in a while, maybe a trip to Hershey for my mom’s birthday.”

“You have to interact with them again?” Eddie gestures wildly and incoherently with his hands. “For a drone?”

Buck is silent for a second, before he holds out his arms in a gesture of defeat. “No,” he says quietly. “For Christopher.” And that’s where he ends it, like it’s all the explanation he needs, like it’s all the explanation he can give, and Eddie feels something inside him finally snap.

He takes a step forward and, without a second thought, presses his lips to Buck’s. 

It doesn’t feel like – anything Eddie’s ever felt before, he doesn’t think. There’s a way a kiss is meant to feel, other than the contact that it happens to be between two people, but this one – this particular one – feels like his heart, which has been borrowed and bruised for years, has made it back to him, safe and sound. Like Eddie’s finding the ground for the first time in years, and Buck is the anchor keeping him there.

It feels like—

Buck freezing against him, and suddenly it feels like he’s done something wrong.

Eddie steps back, blinks up at his best friend.

“Sorry,” he apologizes immediately, because he knows nothing else. “Sorry, you didn’t—”

Buck shakes his head. “No, ha,” he gestures lamely above them. “It’s tradition.”

Eddie stares at him. “What – which part?” he asks, confused.

Buck’s cheeks are painted a pretty pink and his eyes look a little soft and sad around the edges, and maybe it’s things like these that make Eddie unaware of his surroundings, because suddenly he’s following Buck’s gaze upward and finding a mistletoe hanging above them. 

Eddie blinks at it quizzically.

“You don’t – like, that’s the point of them,” Buck clears his throat. “Kinda weird you’d just – put it up for no reason, but I get why you—”

“Oh, Christ, Buck,” Eddie sighs irritably before reaching for Buck’s hand and moving him about a foot away from the door frame and inside the kitchen. Eddie looks up again, for good measure, and when he’s sure there’s nothing but empty ceiling above them, he takes Buck’s face in his hands – the same face that’s currently looking up, as well – and presses their lips together again.

And this time—

This time, Buck kisses back. 

When they part for a second to catch their breath, Buck is looking at Eddie with such awe in his expression that Eddie has to take a second to look away, caught by the beauty it shapes into the corner of Buck’s smile.

“So – not the mistletoe, then?”

Eddie glances back at the mistletoe, then meets Buck’s gaze again. “I’m gonna be honest with you, I have no idea where that came from.”

Buck laughs quietly and presses his forehead against Eddie’s.

“Merry Christmas, Ed,” he whispers, and Eddie presses a soft kiss to his lips.

“Merry Christmas, Buck,” he whispers back, and when Buck kisses him again, he forgets all about the mysterious mistletoe that almost ruined this for him, and the god forsaken drone Christopher’s probably already playing with outside, because he hasn’t made a single sound since—

Eddie pulls back abruptly. “Christopher.” 

Buck looks at the mistletoe, then takes a peek at the door and chuckles into Eddie’s neck. “He’s watching us.”

“I sure am,” Chris pipes up. “Did the mistletoe work?”

“No,” Eddie tells him, and Buck huffs another laugh. “How did you manage to put it up there, anyway?”

“Abuelita helped,” he admits, and Eddie sighs. He should have known. “Can we go outside and play with the drone now?”

Buck nods and steps away from Eddie, but not before running a hand through Eddie’s hair softly. “Sounds good,” he says. “Let me go get some shoes on.”

Christopher hisses a victorious yes, then walks back out into the living room. Eddie looks at Buck, and Buck looks back for a second.

“You coming?” Buck asks, and Eddie hums. 

“I go where you go,” he promises, and Buck’s smile turns into a blinding grin.

“Promise?”

Eddie leans in and kisses the corner of Buck’s lips. 

“Promise.”

[doeeyeseddie]

i’m here (i’m yours for the taking)

for @followyouthroughfire and the 911 holiday gift exchange organised by @paranoidbean

"Everyone!" Around forty heads turn, and Buck shifts on his feet uncomfortably at the attention. "This is my old friend Buck and his husband, Eddie." "Uh," Buck makes, turning to Eddie with wide eyes. Eddie's looking just as stunned. "Connor, I think you got–“ He cuts himself off when Eddie wraps an arm around his waist.

~

at the winter wedding of an old friend, buck and eddie pretend to be married to each other. the plan has no weaknesses, obviously, not even mistletoe or anyone’s secret feelings…

they call it the season of giving i'm here, i'm yours for the taking

fake dating / mutual pining / 19k

[read on ao3]

[oatflatwhite]

where the love light gleams

my 911 holiday gift exchange for leah @reindeereddie. merry christmas, my love!

read here on ao3

The lights are Christopher’s idea, brought up over Buck’s mac and cheese one night in early December. It’s Bobby’s mac and cheese, really, taught to a Buck Eddie had never known over countless probie shifts and patient hands on the electric burner—but that night it was Buck’s, because he cooked it here, in Eddie’s kitchen, in the blue casserole dish with white flowers around the rim. All afternoon the house smelled of it, gravitating Chris to the kitchen table to do his homework, Eddie from the laundry where he’d been half-heartedly trying to soak out a red wine stain.

“No luck?” Buck asked, like he genuinely cared about Eddie’s stained tablecloth, which he probably did. He looked earnest over the stovetop, curls cowlicked to his forehead from the steam, and the sight of him in a pink KISS THE COOK apron made Eddie want to do something stupid, like try and tuck his hair behind his ear. “I’d offer to help, but I, uh,” and he flicked a glance over at Chris, making sure his headphones were on, “don’t know shit about laundry. I just avoid red wine.”

“Thanks for the tip,” Eddie replied, dryly. “If only I had my time machine.” He ducked the piece of macaroni Buck lobbed at him in return.

(“Huh,” Buck said, as it stuck fast to the kitchen wall. “Al dente.”)

They ate on the good plates, the ones with pink and gold trim Eddie keeps in the corner cupboard and saves for special occasions. The mac and cheese was perfect, straight from the oven—creamy and warm and filling, just right for a winter’s day. Buck’s ears went red when Eddie told him so, fiddling with the string on his hoodie.

They all had seconds, Eddie talking Chris down from thirds, and it was after, the plates stacked in front of Buck while he psyched himself up to standing, that Christopher asked, “can we see the lights this year?”

Eddie blinked, a little nonplussed. “Sure, bud,” he replied, meeting Buck’s gaze over the table. “But we—we already do that. You didn’t have to ask.”

And Christopher looked at him, exasperated, expression so Buck-like Eddie’s breath caught in his chest. “Can Buck come see the Christmas lights this year?”

Heart, meet throat. Eddie swallowed it down, because God—he wanted. He wanted this Christmas with Buck like he wants every Christmas, lights and the tree and a popcorn to cranberry ratio of 5:1 and trifle soaked in too much alcohol, knees knocking together on Eddie’s second-hand couch while they watch It’s A Wonderful Life. And the thing is—sometimes when Eddie looks at Buck, he thinks maybe he wants that too. But it’s been almost a year since they’ve both been single, eight months since Eddie returned to the 118 and seven since they kissed and made up and Buck hasn’t said a word. He’d slid Eddie’s key back onto his ring and taken Chris to the zoo six times over the summer and helped Eddie build a swing for his back porch and fixed the leaky pipe under Eddie’s abuela’s call-me-Isabel, Buck sink. Eddie buys the brand of oat milk Buck likes even though it’s never on sale and he keeps a tin of green tea by the spice rack and Buck’s favourite mug in the cupboard, the one shaped like a frog he says looks like Eddie. He switched out laundry powders back in June because the one he’d been using gave Buck hives, and Buck pulled him from a collapsing staircase during a five-alarm in September that had Eddie clutching at his elbows so tight they bruised, eyes wide and desperate and blue, still so blue, behind his SCBA. One time Chimney took Eddie’s phone and scrolled back in his text chain with Buck for a whole minute and only reached last Tuesday and still Buck hasn’t said a word.

Only, well—it’s not like Eddie has, either.

He’s working on it.

That night Buck didn’t answer Christopher’s question right away. He looked at Eddie, instead, like he was asking what to say—Eddie, who shrugged even as he was seized by the desire to, like, hold Buck’s hand tenderly over the leftover bread rolls. Your call.

Buck’s gaze cut down to the table then back up again, and a smile unspooled on his face that seemed almost too big to fit as he said, “yeah, Chris, I,” and looked over at Eddie again, “I’d love to.”

keep reading on ao3

[drysdaales]

you remind me of home

(oh, baby, merry christmas)

for the wonderful @treacherousdiaz for the 911 Holiday Gift Exchange, organized by @paranoidbean!! crys, i hope you have the best holiday, and that 2022 is everything you want and more <333 love you!

also available to read here on ao3.

It starts, of all things, with a forced roommate situation.

Buck thinks maybe, one day, well into the future, he’ll look back on this Christmas season with fondness. If he squints, he can see Christmas lights in the distance, and in a better moment he’d think it’s beautiful. But right now, the way it’s started off with a literal bang is, for the time being, incredibly awful.

“I’m fine,” he’s saying, waving off the 118’s C-shift paramedics with a frown. Porter and Janney give him identical frowns. At least he knows them and trusts them to look after him. “Seriously. I, like, barely hit my head.”

They share an unimpressed glance. Buck frowns up at them. “I’d feel better if we looked at it, anyway,” Janney says, and she reaches for her flashlight.

“Yeah,” Porter says, right as Janney shines the flashlight in Buck’s face. Buck flinches, and Porter frowns. “Don’t want to face Captain Nash’s wrath.”

“Or  Eddie’s,” Janney agrees, and she keeps Buck’s chin in place as she examines him. The light is a little blinding. “You probably shouldn’t go in tomorrow. Today. Whatever.”

“I literally can’t afford that,” Buck says, looking mournfully up at the remnants of his apartment building. He spots Veronica, Albert’s ex, sighing sadly as she calls someone, and they grimace at each other. “I just lost my house.”

Porter looks like he wants to say something, but Buck hears his name being called, and then Athena’s rushing toward him, Bobby hot on her trail. Janney, for all her griping about not wanting to face anyone’s wrath, stays put, even with an overly concerned Bobby standing right behind her. “I  still  think you should take it easy, Buck,” Janney says. “But I’ll let you and Captain Nash decide that.”

“What  happened?” Bobby asks, and Buck has no answer, just shrugging as he stares up at his place. “Are you hurt?”

Buck shakes his head. “Not hurt,” he says. “Just shaken up.” 

“Did something explode?” Bobby asks. “Where’s your phone?”

Buck holds up his cracked screen, thanking whatever higher power exists out there that he was forced to get renter’s insurance, because at least he can file a claim and get some sort of compensation, even if he’s essentially homeless. “Do you think any of my stuff is salvageable? I really don’t want to have to get new clothes right before Christmas.”

Janney sighs, looking toward the apartment building and back at him with a guilty expression. Buck buries his face in his hands.

“Water pipes burst,” Athena says, making her way toward them again. Her eyes are sympathetic, and Buck does  not  want to cry about it, but his eyes do prickle with tears. He manages to blink them away. “Buck, they’ll let you grab your clothes and said you can ‘take them to a laundromat.’” She and Bobby make eye contact, and she rolls her eyes, and then gives Buck a pointed look. “Also, call your sister, please. Pretty sure she took one of the 911 calls.”

Buck sighs, opening his phone to an onslaught of notifications, mostly from Maddie, then Chimney, and a few missed calls from Hen. His phone lights up, then, ringing incessantly with a picture of Eddie and Christopher lighting up, and he frowns. “Hello?”

“Oh, thank  god ,” Eddie says on the other end. “Hold on, Buck.” There’s a sound of Eddie punching his keyboard, and then— “Maddie, he’s fine.”

“Evan!” she snaps, but she sounds worried and alert, not angry. Buck feels his face flush, even though Maddie can’t see. “You couldn’t answer your phone?”

Buck sighs heavily. “Sorry, Mads.” He tilts his head toward the sky, and Bobby pats his shoulder awkwardly. “I was trying to not get concussed by a piece of pipe.”

“What?” Eddie asks, alarmed.

“I’m fine,” Buck stresses. “I bet I could come into work tomorrow.”

“No,” Eddie, Maddie, and Bobby say at the same time. Buck frowns. Though he knows they’re right, he just…wants to be in a bed he knows, in a place that feels like home. At least the station would be some respite from this shitty situation.

“Are you hurt?” Maddie asks, and Buck tells her dutifully—no, he’s not hurt, yes, his furniture is soaked through, no, his apartment isn’t habitable, yes, his clothes are probably fine. His apartment  is  submerged in about two inches of standing water, though, and he’s just lucky all his non-displayed pictures were kept on the top shelf of his closet. 

He doesn’t want to cry in front of Bobby—not that Bobby would judge him, but  Buck  would be embarrassed, and he doesn’t want Maddie to worry. It all feels a little overwhelming. He takes a deep breath. “I’m okay, Maddie. I promise. Just, uh, wondering where I’m going to sleep for the next month until I find a new place.” He laughs to fill what he  knows  would be an awkward silence while Bobby frowns at him.

He could book an airbnb, maybe—he’s a lot more of a neat freak since he’d last lived with Chimney but Chimney has a kid now, and when he’d moved out of Maddie’s place and into the loft, he’d purged, gotten cleaner, having his own space. It’s LA—no one has a spare bedroom, except  maybe  Bobby, but that’s actually May’s bedroom that she’s not  currently  occupying, and—

“Buck, just come here,” Eddie says, and Buck feels his heart start to pound. “Do you need me to come get you?”

“Oh.” He takes another deep breath. “You’re sure?”

Eddie laughs. “Like Christopher won’t be over the moon that you’re here.”

“For a  month, Eddie.”

“So?”

Eddie’s defiant, almost challenging.  So?  he says, like it’s nothing, like offering his home to Buck won’t put him out, like Buck’s worth all that.  So?  sounds a lot like  I don’t care, but not in an apathetic way—it’s  I don’t care about your baggage, I’ll take care of you, and Buck doesn’t know what to do with that except acquiesce.

“Okay,” he says, and Maddie ducks out, saying she has to take a call because she’s still at work. Bobby’s eyeing him in curiosity. Buck swallows. “I’ll, uh. I’ll come over.”

“Great,” Eddie says. “And you’re  not  going to work tomorrow. See you soon.”

He hangs up, leaving Buck staring up at Bobby who’s staring back at him with concern. He doesn’t want to talk, doesn’t really know  how  to, but Bobby just sighs. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he says, and Buck tilts his head. “When Athena got the call, she thought she recognized your address, and I just thought…” Bobby shudders, like he’s back somewhere he doesn’t want to be, and Buck’s heart twinges, and he stands, putting his hand on Bobby’s shoulder.

“I’m good, Bobby, see?” Buck gestures up and down, even does a little spin. “No injuries. To me, at least.”

Bobby laughs. “I know.” His smile fades, and he takes a deep breath. “I’m really glad you are.”

“Me, too,” Buck says, and he means it.

—

He has a suitcase full of his gross, wet clothes with him as he makes his way to Eddie’s front door, and it swings open, Eddie’s arms coming around his neck as he receives the tightest hug of his life.

“Oof, Eddie, hi,” he says with a small laugh. “Everything’s fine, seriously.”

“But are you  hurt?” Eddie asks, and Buck frowns, tilting his head at him. “The pipe burst? And fell directly into your room with a ton of  water  everywhere?” 

Buck’s exhale is a little shaky and a lot cathartic, and Eddie settles his hand on Buck’s shoulder, a welcome weight after what had felt like eons before he was allowed to grab anything salvageable and go. He lets his forehead come to rest on Eddie’s shoulder, and Eddie wraps his arms around him again, gentler and warmer than the harsh, relieved nature of the first one. “Not hurt,” Buck promises. “Just… frustrated.”

“I think anyone would be,” Eddie says softly, and they say nothing else.

They move quietly around the house, getting as many of Buck’s clothes in the dryer as they can before Eddie pulls him into the kitchen, where a mug of steaming tea sits on the counter. Eddie squeezes his wrist before letting go, and Buck finally feels the exhaustion of everything catch up to him. He buries his head in his hands, resting them against the side of the mug, letting the warmth seep into him.

“You’re not going to work, right?” Eddie’s chair is beside Buck, and he’s touching Buck’s elbow lightly. “No one will be mad if you don’t.”

Buck frowns. “I have more Christmas presents to get.” He swallows, looking up at Eddie. “I really,  really  can’t afford this.”

“Then will you let Bobby make you man behind?” Eddie suggests.

Buck nods, just to give Eddie an answer, because it’s already two in the morning and they have to be at work in five hours, and Eddie is wide awake and so is Buck, and Eddie should get to sleep even if Buck doesn’t. He feels the full force of Eddie’s kindness and gentleness, and it feels unwarranted, and he loves Eddie’s house but he  doesn’t  love Eddie’s couch, and he doesn’t want to cry about this but he can feel tears prickling in his eyes. 

Something about this feels inevitable and also heartbreaking, because of course he gets to live at the Diaz house during Christmas, but it’s not the real reason he wants to live there. He wants to be there because he’s wanted, not out of necessity or pity or any of the above. And though he knows, seriously, deep down that Eddie wouldn’t offer unless he meant it, that he’s not some sort of burden, it  feels  like it, like Eddie is trying to make up for last Christmas. 

Buck takes a deep, shaky breath, and Eddie sighs. “Oh, Buck,” he murmurs, and a few tears escape into Buck’s hands. Eddie drums his fingers against Buck’s upper back lightly. “Let’s try and get some sleep?”

Buck shudders. “Yeah.” He clears his throat. “That’s a good idea.”

So he lets Eddie tug him up, toward the door, and then there’s a moment where Eddie stops, gaze scrutinizing. Buck frowns. Eddie frowns back. “Do you want to sleep on the couch?” he asks, and Buck blinks.

“Huh?”

“The couch.” The corners of Eddie’s mouth twitch, like he’s trying to suppress a smile. “I remember quite a few complaints from you when you slept on my couch after—” Eddie cuts himself off, shaking his head. “You can take the bed, and—”

“Eddie, no.” Buck tries to pull his hand away, but Eddie holds harder. “I’m not going to kick you out of your bed just because I’m a whiny baby.”

“You’re  not  a whiny baby.” Eddie rolls his eyes. “And you’re not kicking me out, I’m offering.”

“Okay, well,” Buck starts, “then I’m refusing.”

“Buck.”

“Eddie."

“You’re more stubborn than me,” Eddie says, and Buck frowns in offense before Eddie follows up with, “so why don’t we just share?”

And Buck is too goddamn tired to think about the implications of this, so he agrees easily, letting Eddie lead him to his bedroom, where he throws Buck some clothes and pushes him into the bathroom to get changed into clothes that maybe aren’t damp. And when Buck goes to stuff more of his clothes into the dryer, Eddie appears at the door, telling him to come lay down, and how can Buck do anything but agree?

He’s too exhausted to do anything other than know three things: he’s safe here, he loves Eddie, and he’s fucking tired, so he’ll just deal with it. He’ll sleep next to Eddie, and he’ll deal with it later.

—

When he wakes up, tangled in Eddie’s duvet with the light streaming in through the window and Eddie gone, he knows he got played. 

“Eddie!” he hisses into his phone, and he can  hear  the smirk in Eddie’s voice when he says  hi, Buck, how’d you sleep?  “It’s 9:30, and—”

“So?” Eddie interrupts. Buck huffs. “I called you out.”

“Eddie.” Buck is not going to cry; he’s just  not. He’s totally fine and not  “I told you—”

“Bobby still has you on the schedule,” Eddie says. “You’re  technically  clocked in.”

Buck blinks. “That’s not legal.”

Eddie shrugs. “I mean. It’s not  not  legal.” Buck lays back against the covers. “You can come in whenever you’re ready. But you’re just…not going to be docked the four hours you’re missing, or whatever.”

Buck  is  going to cry, this time, just out of gratitude. “Eddie…”

“Hey, it’s Bobby’s ass, not mine,” Eddie says through a laugh. “How did you sleep?”

So Buck rushes through getting ready, all the while on the phone with Eddie, and the alarm miraculously does not ring, but Buck hangs up once he’s in his car, and he’s halfway to work before he realizes he woke up in Eddie’s bed. He’d slept so soundly that he’d woken up—hours late—in Eddie’s bed without any fatigue, and Buck…

Look, Buck knows he’s in love with Eddie. Loving Eddie is as easy as breathing—it’s not something he learned how to do, he just  does  it. And that’s painful, because there’s some part of him that can’t trust it. 

It was easier, Buck thinks, when he didn’t know. He’s probably  always  been in love with him on some level. Buck doesn’t think love at first sight is real, but maybe love at first ambulance rescue  is  , because he’s been drawn to Eddie ever since. He’d tried to describe it to his therapist, once. If Eddie’s a siren, then Buck is the unsuspecting sailor reeled in by his song. It’s impossible for him  not  to be in Eddie’s orbit. 

“That seems…unhealthy,” Dr. Copeland had said delicately, and Buck had merely shrugged.

And it  was  easier when he didn’t know. Because he didn’t know until Eddie was leaving and Buck couldn’t stop him, and he’d been so broken-hearted that Taylor had pushed him and pushed him until he broke up with her, and then he’d been even lonelier, even if Taylor wasn’t right for him. Eddie broke his heart, and they’d fought, loud and explosive and raw and splayed open in a way Buck never wanted to be, like Eddie was a coroner and Buck was an autopsied body, with Eddie able to see every single inch of him. 

He’s been revived now, but some part of him still feels like his bloody heart is hanging out of his chest for everyone to see.

And knowing that he’s in love with Eddie makes it all worse, because Eddie’s said a million times over that he doesn’t think he’ll date again, that he and Christopher together  is enough for the rest of his life, and though it feels like a cut straight to his chest, he gets it. He’ll love Eddie anyway, no matter how many times Chimney and Maddie tell him he’ll “find someone.” He doesn’t think he will, and that’s okay. It has to be okay.

So he shows up to work four hours late and receives an amused head shake from Bobby, a hug from Hen, and a  very gentle  slap upside the head from Chimney, before  he  tugs Buck into a hug, too, and something in Buck’s chest unwinds. He can be here, and he can forget about his fucked up apartment and waking up in Eddie’s bed, and it’s fine. He can escape here.

“You okay?” Eddie asks quietly as he clears the island. “You sleep okay? I didn’t wake you?”

“No, uh, no.” Buck rubs the back of his neck. “I didn’t even notice you’d left.”

“Good.” Eddie nods, finally looking up at Buck. “I’m glad.”

There’s a moment, then, where they can’t tear their eyes away from each other, where Buck thinks  maybe, maybe, maybe.  His heart is in his throat and he’s breathless, and  maybe,  but the alarm rings, and by the time Buck can tear his eyes away, Eddie’s halfway down the stairs.

—

One week in, Hen manages to be the first person to mention his and Eddie’s whole arrangement.

“So,” she starts off, and Buck jumps, hand over his heart. “You and Eddie.”

Buck blinks. “What  about  me and Eddie?”

Hen gives him an unimpressed stare. “You’re staying with him? After your apartment exploded?”

“Maybe.” He shrugs, and Hen rolls her eyes, though she looks amused. “Why do you ask?”

“No particular reason.” She stares back at her book before looking up again. “You seem happy.”

“I’m always happy, Hen,” Buck insists, and Hen snorts. “I’m serious!”

“I’m sure you are.”

They sit at the island in silence for a while after that, Hen studying and Buck reading, and he considers what she meant by  you seem happy.

He knows this past year had been really fucking  hard  on him, and he knows she knew it, too. When he’d gotten seriously hurt back in March, and had woken up, in pain and so fucking exhausted that he’d started sobbing, she was the only one he’d talked to once he was lucid enough. She’d cried in his arms, and he’d held her to his chest while he teared up, too, and he remembered in that moment just how important she was to him.

He remembers how she checked up on him, how she made sure to ask for his opinions, to include him in things he didn’t know how to ask to be included in, and he remembers how steadfast she’d been, and how he made sure to support her when things with her foster child started going awry, and he thinks, maybe, Hen would understand.

“Hen?” Hen looks up at him. “What did you mean by me seeming happy?”

Hen smiles at him. “You’ve had a rough year, you know?” He nods, and she places a hand over his. “And it’s really nice to see you so…content.”

Buck swallows. “Are you?” he asks, and she tilts her head. “Content.”

Hen sighs. “As much as I can be, after…” 

She trails off, and Buck nods. “Sure. That makes sense.”

“I’m happy we’re both here,” she says, and he nods. “And I’m happy that Chim and Eddie are back, and I’m happy Ravi stuck around.” She swallows. “And I just want you to know that at the end of next year, when I start my residency, that doesn’t mean I’m leaving, okay?”

Buck shuts his eyes, trying not to cry. “I know, Hen.”

“I mean it, Buck.” She squeezes his hand, and he squeezes back. “I might be leaving my job, but that doesn’t mean I’m leaving this.”

He nods, opening his eyes to give Hen a watery smile. “Thank you,” he says. “And you can call me any time, like for babysitting, o-or just to talk, or—”

“I know.” She pats his hand once, picking up her pencil again. “We’re family, though. That’s what this is.”

He swallows. “Yeah.”

“So you’re stuck with us,” Hen says, and Buck inhales shakily. “Always. No matter what.”

He laughs wetly, and she laughs, too, and they’re giggling in a way they haven’t in a while. Buck feels lighter than he has in a really long time, and when Eddie and Ravi walk in, they make confused eye contact while Buck and Hen continue to laugh at nothing.

“Maybe if we leave they’ll stop,” Ravi suggests, so he and Eddie back away, making their way back down the stairs, which only makes Buck laugh more, which sets Hen off again. 

“Okay, but seriously,” Hen says. “Did you and Eddie get together and not tell me? Or are you—”

“Not together,” Buck confirms, his smile sliding off his face. He shakes his head. “He just…offered his place. I’m trying to be the best roommate. I don’t want to scare him off, or anything.” He laughs, a little self-deprecating and a  lot  frustrated, and Hen’s eyes are sympathetic when she’s been quiet so long he has to look at her.

“I don’t think anything you do would scare him off,” she says, and Buck sighs. “Seriously. He’d do anything for you.”

“Sure.” He taps on his book idly. Part of him knows she’s right, and another part of him can’t trust it. He wants nothing more than to trust it. “I’m trying to believe that.”

“You will,” Hen says confidently. “You’ll believe it. And then you’ll  finally  kiss and put us all out of our misery—”

“Hen!” Buck shouts, throwing a balled up napkin at her, and she laughs more, and some kind of weight lifts off Buck’s chest.

—

It’s day fifteen of this arrangement when Buck wonders if  maybe  he’s miscalculated just how much he loves Eddie.

He figured that the moment he’d lived out of Eddie’s pockets again, he’d get over it, like it’s some stupid crush to get over. But he wakes up, and it’s a Saturday in December, and there’s a weird Santa figure that a five year old Christopher made staring at him from Eddie’s dresser, and Eddie’s wrapped around him like a koala, snoring softly, and Buck realizes there is literally  nothing  he would like more than this for the rest of his life. And he’s in love, the way Bobby loves Athena or the way Maddie loves Chimney, not the way he’s ever loved anyone before.

Shit.

There’s a knock, and then the door to the room opens, Christopher’s head poking through. “Buck?” he asks, and Buck takes a deep breath, looking at him over Eddie’s head. “Can you make breakfast today?”

“Sure,” Buck says, and he detangles his limbs from Eddie’s, unthinkingly pressing a kiss to the top of Eddie’s head before he gets up. He’s halfway to the kitchen before he freezes, and Christopher stops, turning around.

“Buck?”

Buck blinks, looking down at Christopher, who’s got an amused, knowing expression on his face. He shakes his head, smiling back at Christopher. “Nothing, kid. Breakfast, huh?”

Christopher sits atop the counter, handing Buck eggs, placing bacon in a pan. Buck cooks, laughing while Christopher asks him questions about things he’d learned at school the other day, just to see if Buck knows any of the answers. He tries to answer questions about taxonomy and animal behavior, and he gets so many wrong that he just starts making up answers.

“What’s a phylum?” he asks, and Christopher cackles.

“Okay, giggly boys,” Buck hears, and his heart thrills at the sight that greets him—Eddie, sleep-soft and hair rumpled, a smile across his lips. “What are we laughing about?”

“Taxonomy,” Christopher says happily, and Eddie frowns.

“What’s that?”

“Dad,” Christopher groans, but he’s laughing. “I’ve told you about it the past two days.”

“But, see, Christopher,” Buck says, “I don’t remember what you said about phylums.”

Eddie snorts, pouring himself a mug of coffee. “You just like saying that word, don’t you?” He takes a sip, grimacing at the taste, and Buck rolls his eyes.

He plates some eggs and bacon, handing one to Christopher. “Can you hand that to your dad, please?”

Christopher holds the plate out dutifully, and Eddie thanks him, grabbing the other one before he helps Christopher off the counter. “Dad?” he asks, and Eddie hums. “When are we baking cookies?”

Buck flips the last of the eggs onto his plate, taking it to the table as Eddie responds. “I don’t know.” He tilts his head in thought, taking a bite of his egg. “Maybe tomorrow?” He looks expectantly at Buck. “Are you good for tomorrow?”

Buck freezes, bacon halfway to his mouth before he sets it down. “Tomorrow?”

“For cookie baking,” Eddie says.

Buck narrows his eyes, and Christopher sighs. “Please, Buck?” he asks. “Dad can’t bake. I can’t do this without you.”

Buck smothers a laugh behind his hand at Eddie’s outraged expression, and he shoves a large piece of egg in his mouth to calm himself down, because he just…

He shakes his head. “Sure,” he answers, and both Christopher  and  Eddie light up in anticipation, which makes Buck’s heart soar. “I think at some point this week I have to go help Maddie and Chimney bake cookies, but I’m free tomorrow.”

Eddie frowns, then. “Why don’t you just invite them over?” he asks, and Buck freezes.

Something about this feels too easy, but Eddie’s looking at him with the kindest eyes, and Christopher’s excitedly talking about helping Jee-Yun bake cookies, and really, how can Buck say no? He’s got a hard time saying no to either of them, but both of them together is almost impossible.

It’s only when he calls Maddie to ask her if they’re available to come over to Eddie’s that he realizes just how precarious this situation is.

“And you’re inviting all of us over to Eddie’s…why?” she asks, though she sounds like she’s laughing.

“Well, Maddie, I’m living there for the time being,” Buck says. “Just until I find a new place.”

“And how’s the real estate search coming?” Maddie asks, and Buck remains silent. “Uh-huh.”

“My point is,” Buck says, “that Eddie, Christopher, and I would like to formally invite you to bake Christmas cookies with us tomorrow, okay?”

“Please?!” Eddie tacks on as he passes by with a basket of laundry. “I’ll have wine!”

“Please?” Buck repeats, quieter. “It’s not a big deal.”

Maddie sighs. “I think it is,” she says, “and you’re trying to say it’s not.”

“Maddie.”

“We’ll be there.” He can hear a smile in her voice, and it puts him at ease. “We’d love to bake cookies with you guys.”

 When they show up, Maddie immediately clocks the lack of sheets on Eddie’s couch, and she raises an eyebrow. Buck turns away from her, face so hot he could bake cookies on it, probably. She just laughs, handing Jee-Yun over to him, and he takes her happily, cooing as she buries her face in his neck. 

“Hi, baby,” he says excitedly. “Are you ready to bake cookies?”

“I sure am,” Chimney deadpans. “No one ever asks  me  if I’m excited to bake cookies.”

Buck blinks at him innocently. “Well, are you?”

Chimney sighs, clapping Buck on the shoulder and high-fiving Christopher while Eddie pokes his head out, glancing between the dining room and the kitchen. 

“We  could  all fit in the kitchen,” he says, looking to Buck for guidance, and Buck snorts.

“I’d like to see us try,” he mutters, and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Okay, then. We’ll make the dough in the dining room and move into the kitchen to bake them? Is that sufficient, Buck?”

Buck’s stomach does a flip flop, like he’s a middle schooler talking to his crush. “Extremely,” he says, and Chimney pretends to gag. Christopher giggles. Buck ignores them both, kissing Jee-Yun’s head. “Let’s bake some cookies, huh?”

Eddie turns the Christmas music up, while Maddie and Chimney grab the bowls and spoons, and Christopher decides he’s in charge, divvying the tasks between the adults while he and Jee-Yun decorate a gingerbread house. “We’ll be fine,” Christopher stresses, and Buck and Eddie share an amused look. “If you don’t start the dough, we’ll  never  finish baking.”

It starts off fine, with Eddie handing Buck everything he needs, and they bake their first batch of dough efficiently, Maddie and Chimney not far behind, but it quickly devolves after that, with Maddie spreading icing on Chimney’s cheek and Buck throwing flour at Eddie, and Eddie and Chimney run away, toward the living room, Buck and Maddie hot on their tails.

“You’re both  menaces,” Chimney says, and Eddie’s laughing, and  god, Buck wants to kiss him. That stops him in his tracks, and Maddie slides into him, and they both fall to the ground, Buck breaking her fall. 

“Ow,” Buck says, a sharp pain running up his arm. “Maddie, Jesus.”

“You’re  the one who stopped running!” Maddie exclaims, and he tries to push her off. She hangs on valiantly.

“I didn’t know you two fought,” Chimney says.

“We’re  not  fighting,” they say at the same time.

“You sure look like you are,” Christopher says from his perch at the table. “Don’t they, Jee?”

“I feel attacked,” Buck mumbles, and Maddie tugs on his ear. “Ow , Maddie!”

“Let me up then.”

“Literally  nothing  is stopping you.” He pushes her off, and she rolls onto the floor, her face lit up in a smile, and Buck begs whatever higher power above to let him have this, all of this, at least until Christmas. Maddie is here and she’s  happy, and he’s here with Eddie and Christopher, and Chimney’s helping Maddie up with the biggest smile on his face, and Jee-Yun is laughing delightedly and that’s all he wants. Just this, forever.

The thought of it being ripped away from him makes him want to shrivel up and cry, and as he sits up, he sighs, something heavy settling on him. Someone squeezes his shoulder, and he looks up into Eddie’s concerned face. “What’s wrong, Buck?”

“Nothing,” he says quickly, though his chest is tight. “Nothing’s wrong. Everything is pretty perfect, actually.” He sighs and Eddie squeezes his shoulder again. “Just happy.”

“That’s good,” Eddie murmurs, and his arm settles around Buck’s shoulders. “You deserve to be happy.”

He wants this. He wants this. He wants this.

Maybe he’ll get to keep it.

—

So of course, two days before Christmas, when he’s supposed to be getting up for work, he wakes up shivering, sweaty, and fuzzy, and he groans as Eddie emerges from the bathroom, frowning at him.

“Buck?” he asks, toweling his wet hair. “Are you okay?”

“‘M dying, Eddie,” Buck says. Eddie huffs out a laugh. “I swear.”

“You’re not dying.” Eddie comes to sit next to him and he smooths Buck’s hair off his sweaty forehead. “You  are  a little too warm, though.”

“I should go home,” Buck says.

Eddie tilts his head. “I hate to break it to you, Buck, but your apartment isn’t exactly habitable right now.” Eddie strokes his hair, gentle and soothing, and his cool hand is a welcome respite. Buck would kiss him if he could. “Also, I wouldn’t let you go there. You’ll stay here, okay?”

“But Chris—”

“Was sick last week, remember?” Eddie’s fingers card slowly through his curls. Buck shuts his eyes. “You got this from him.”

“But what if I give it back to him?” Buck croaks out, and Eddie bites down on his lip, clearly to stop himself from laughing. Buck pouts. “Eds, ‘m serious.”

“I  know  you are,” Eddie says, and he leans down, pressing his lips to Buck’s forehead, and now Buck is even  more  convinced this is a fever dream. “You  definitely have a fever. And you won’t give it back to Christopher.”

“But—”

“Just rest, okay?” Eddie eases himself off the bed, and the lack of warmth has Buck shivering again. “I’ll grab you some medicine before I go.”

True to his word, Eddie gets him tylenol and some water before he heads to work, and Buck drifts into a restless, fitful sleep, woken every so often by a round of coughs or a need to blow his nose, and he groans, feeling absolutely miserable. He’s just sat up, firing off three sneezes in a row, when the door creaks open.

He sniffles. “Christopher?”

Christopher looks in, a grin on his face. “Hi, Buck!” He hovers at the door. “Can I come in?”

Buck swallows, wincing at the needles in his throat. “Sure, buddy.”

Christopher does, then, throwing the door open fully and climbing on the bed. “Dad said you were sick.”

Buck flings an arm over his eyes pathetically, and Christopher laughs. “I’m  so  sick,” Buck moans, and Christopher laughs again, but quieter, laying down with him. “What if I get  you  sick?”

“You won’t,” Christopher says confidently. “Plus, we can just watch movies all day.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Definitely.” Christopher nods, and his expression is very serious. “I’m taking care of you until Dad gets home. He said it was a very important job.”

Buck’s heart might just explode at how sweet that is, and he’s glad his fever flush hides how much he likes that thought, being cared for. Christopher snuggles into him, feeling around his torso for the remote. Buck laughs, but that turns into a cough, and he turns away, grabbing the remote from the table. “Here,” he says, and Christopher thanks him.

They start with “The Santa Clause,” and Buck’s  sure  he’s never seen this, but Christopher seems content to explain the plot points to him if something doesn’t make sense, and before he knows it, he’s dozing off, Christopher a solid weight beside him.

There’s a knock, then, jolting both Christopher and him from their sleepy state, and Christopher perks up. “Hi, Maddie,” he says quietly, but his face betrays how excited he is. 

“Hey, Chris,” she says, and then she frowns. “Oh, Buck.”

He waves her off. “What about Jee?”

Maddie rolls her eyes. “She’s  fine,  she’s with the Lees. I’ll wash my hands a bunch, okay?” She deposits a bag on the other bedside table, and Christopher helps her lift everything out. “It’s spicy miso with noodles for you, Buck, and chicken ramen for Christopher.” She smiles. “Does he need more medicine?” she asks Christopher, and Buck frowns.

“I’m right  here, Maddie.”

“He does,” Christopher says, like Buck said nothing at all. Buck huffs, and Maddie hides a smile behind her hand. “It’s 12, and Dad gave him medicine at six.”

“I see.” Maddie starts to walk away, but then she turns back. “Is it in the bathroom?”

She comes back, with two tylenol tabs and a cool washcloth, more water and some tea, and she smooths his hair back while Christopher eats, and they finish their next movie while Buck tries to sleep but doesn’t quite manage to. 

“Do you want to eat?” Maddie asks eventually, and Buck shakes his head.

“You should,” Christopher says. “It’s really important to eat when you’re sick.”

Buck hums. “Okay,” he says through a cough. Maddie coos sympathetically. “Just for you, then.” Christopher beams, and he looks so happy that Buck tries to eat all of the miso just for him.

When Christopher eventually gets up to go to the bathroom, Buck sits up and immediately shuts his eyes. “Did you overdo it on the miso?” Maddie asks, stroking his hair. Buck sniffles, a few tears leaking out. “Oh,  Buck.”

“He wouldn’t let me go home,” Buck says, and Maddie frowns. “Hypothetically. He said even  if  my apartment was okay that I would stay here anyway.”

“Uh-huh.” Maddie presses her cheek to his forehead. “You still feel too warm to me.”

“Why does he want me around?” Buck cries, only a little pathetic. “I’m just me.”

“Evan, don’t say that,” Maddie scolds. She doesn’t sound mad, though, just a little heartbroken. “He loves you. That’s why. You’re important to him  and  Christopher, okay?”

Buck buries his face in her chest, and she strokes his hair, trying to calm him. A few minutes in, he feels the bed dip, smaller arms circling him, too. “Buck?” Christopher says, voice muffled by Buck’s hoodie. “Are you okay?”

Buck exhales, shaky and a little wheezy, and he pulls back, trying to nod at Christopher. “I’m okay, buddy. I just hate being sick.”

“Me, too.” Christopher tilts his head. “But that’s why I’m here.”

“You  always  make me feel better,” Buck promises, and he feels Maddie press a kiss to the top of his head. He looks up at her. “You leaving, Mads?”

“Gotta get home to my  actual  baby,” she says. “You’re in good hands, Buck. Christopher’s taking great care of you.”

Buck inexplicably tears up at that, but Christopher just beams. “Thank you, Maddie,” he says brightly, and he waves goodbye, snuggling back up to Buck. 

They watch more of the next movie in silence, Buck falling asleep and Christopher playing on his switch, and Buck  tries  to stay awake, but he has fitful nap after fitful nap, eventually sitting back up so that he’s not trying to fall asleep anymore. 

I’m just me, he’d said to Maddie, as if it was the worst thing in the world to be him. All he’s been is a disappointment, an idiot, a reckless idiot, a helper. He’d had Maddie to take care of him until she couldn’t, and he doesn’t begrudge her that, but some part of him still feels like a child, especially when he’s sick, because he doesn’t know how to receive care from anyone. And yet Eddie makes him feel worth it. Like he’s worth taking care of.

In their big talk with Eddie’s therapist, Buck had begged Eddie, in no uncertain words, “let me take care of you, please,” because Eddie was worth the sleepless nights, the worry, the amount of care he required. He was allowed to be taken care of, Buck said, if he’d just let Buck do it. And here was Eddie, returning that to him, by having Christopher take care of him while he’s gone, as if Christopher wanted to spend all day with his dad’s friend who’s sick.

He feels like crying again, and Christopher just leans into his side, as if he knows Buck needs it. “I love you, Buck,” he says, not even looking up from his game. “I’m sorry you feel sick.”

Buck takes as deep a breath as he can. “I love you too, kiddo.” He swallows. “You don’t have to spend all day with me, you know.”

Christopher furrows his brows. “But I want to,” he says. “You’re like the fun dad. It’s fun to hang out with you, even if you’re sick.”

Buck’s brain goes offline.  You’re the fun dad. The fun dad. Christopher said the word  dad, referring to him, and apparently thought so little of it that he’d just turned back to his game. Buck can’t find words. “That’s sweet,” he manages, and Christopher rolls his eyes.

“You’re just as sappy as Dad, Buck,” he says, but he sounds more amused than upset, and Buck is  not  going to cry, but he  is  going to have to talk to Eddie.

Fuck.

—

Buck is awake when Eddie comes in at ten at night, clearly trying to be quiet. Buck clears his throat, though, and Eddie freezes, caught in the act. “Hey, Buck,” he says, sheepish and soft. “I didn’t think you’d be up.”

“I had to pee,” Buck says, as if it’s true. Eddie nods, like he thinks it is. “And I needed to talk to you.”

Eddie frowns. “Yeah?” he comes to sit next to Buck, feeling his forehead with the back of his hand, then with a soft press of his lips. Buck shivers. “When’s the last time you took something, hm?”

“Christopher called me his dad today,” Buck blurts out, and Eddie blinks.

“Okay?”

Buck tries to make his eyes wide, but it hurts. “Okay?  That’s it?” Buck flops back against the pillows. “I’m not…you know I love him, of course I do—”

“Buck, what are you trying to say, here?” Eddie’s voice is small, concerned, and a lot colder than when he’d walked in. Buck swallows.

“I don’t want to  confuse  him.” Buck’s wringing his hands together, head pounding, and his breaths are coming in shorter puffs. Eddie reaches across him for the tylenol, pressing two into his hands.

“Take these,” he says quietly. Buck does. “What do you mean, ‘confuse him?’”

“I’m not…god, I’ve just been pretending like I get to have this forever,” Buck says. “And I can’t, and I’m  sorry,  I made things confusing—”

“Who says you can’t?” Eddie cuts in, and when Buck looks up, Eddie’s got a nervous but determined look on his face. “Who says you can’t have this forever?”

Buck shakes his head, even though it’s pounding. “I-I have to find my own place to live eventually.” Buck’s voice is scratchy, and he reaches back for his water, chugging half of it in one go. “I can’t just keep putting you out like this.”

“You’re not.” The nervousness in Eddie’s expression disappears incrementally. “You’re not putting me out, and you don’t  have  to find your own place to live. You can just stay here, Buck.”

“There’s no room—”

“Buck,” Eddie interrupts, a small smile on his face. “Come on.”

“Come on?” Buck asks, but… oh. 

Oh.

“There it is,” Eddie says with a quiet laugh. “You can stay here forever, Buck. You’re allowed to have this.”

Buck feels a smile grow on his face. “Oh my god, Eddie.”

“Do  not—”

“You love me,” Buck says, hushed. He almost can’t believe it.  Almost. Maybe Hen was right when she said he’d believe it, one day. “You  love me.”

“I do.” Eddie runs his hand down Buck’s arm, squeezing his hand. “And you love me.” He sounds a little unsure, but Buck nods so enthusiastically he has to lay down from dizziness, and Eddie laughs, laying him back gently. “Okay, sweetheart, don’t overdo it.”

“But I really,  really  do, Eddie,” Buck says. Eddie laughs again, and Buck could listen to him laugh for the rest of his life. Maybe he  will  listen to Eddie laugh for the rest of his life. He says as much to Eddie, rather urgently, and Eddie keeps laughing. “I’m serious!”

“I know you are.” Eddie soothes, and he kisses Buck’s forehead. “And I’m going to kiss you so hard when you’re not contagious.”

Buck nods. “That’s fair,” he says, “no one should be sick on Christmas.”

There’s a pause, where Eddie looks like he wants to say  fuck it and kiss Buck anyway, but—

“When you’re not sick,” Eddie promises.

“When I’m not sick,” Buck confirms, and Eddie kisses his forehead again, and Buck falls asleep, warm and safe and happy, and he can’t believe he gets this forever.

No, actually, he can believe it. He  does  get this forever.

 He wakes up on Christmas, fever free and only mildly congested, to Christopher flopping in between him and Eddie, yelling  Merry Christmas  in their ears, and Eddie groans at being rudely awoken, rolling away from Christopher.

“Dad, it’s time for french toast!” Christopher exclaims, and Buck sits up, rubbing his eyes. “Daaad.”

“Yeah,  Dad,” Buck teases, and Eddie glares at him out of one eye. “It’s time for french toast.”

“French toast,” Eddie begins, “is your job. I’m merely a bystander.”

“Is food all I’m good for?” Buck muses. Eddie hits him with a pillow. Christopher laughs. 

“Goodbye,” Eddie says, but he’s smiling, and Christopher’s climbing off the bed, yelling to Buck to  hurry, we have to make hot chocolate, too, and Eddie looks at him, his cheeks flushed and his eyes sparkling, and Buck thinks yeah, he’s waited long enough.

He leans over and kisses Eddie soundly on the lips. Eddie makes a surprised noise, but he leans into the kiss, and all it does is make Buck feel  quiet, settled,  happy.

“That was nice,” Eddie murmurs against Buck’s mouth, and Buck tries to kiss Eddie again, but he’s smiling too big. “Merry Christmas, Buck.”

“Merry Christmas, Eddie.” He kisses Eddie again and again and again, until Christopher complains about the lack of french toast, and then he kisses Eddie  while  making french toast, and Christopher sticks his tongue out and calls them gross, and Buck feels happy. He’s so goddamn happy.

It’s a merry Christmas, indeed.

[hottielindholm]

911 gift exchange for @leightonmurrayz

[image one: Buck and Eddie hug in slow motion after Eddie’s ceremony. “Did you dream of a new years eve?”.]

[image two: Buck turns to see Eddie changing in 2.01. “Where time stopped and all you saw was him”.]

[image three: Buck wakes with a start on Eddie’s couch and rubs his eyes. “Or did you wake in agony”.]

[image three: Buck looks shocked as Eddie’s blood splatters his face. “When his blood marked your hands”.]

[image four: Eddie grins at Chris through the bars of the accessible skateboard then turns to smile at Buck, who starts to say something.“Who were you together? Was it just A fantasy of an illusion”.]

[image five: Eddie lays in a pool of his own blood on the street, one hand reaching for Buck in the distance. “Or the thrill of a grave”.]

[decalcomon]

secret santa gift for @kitkatpancakestack !! inevitably it is posted late, eddie's sweater was too much christmas spirit for me to handle. thank you to @paranoidbean for organizing <3 happy holidays everyone !!!

Eddie's sweater. i replaced the cross motif with little flames. it looks like the canadian flag now tho.

[kitkatpancakestack]

You'll Be Here In Every Memory

For @renbuckleydiaz, on this 911 holiday gift exchange season! Thanks again to @paranoidbean for organizing!I hope you enjoy!

Christopher will be home any second, and he will pinpoint the unusual quiet immediately. He’ll interrogate Eddie in that no-bullshit way ten-year-olds do, because they haven’t learned how to beat around the bush yet. And somehow Eddie will have to look his son in the face and break the news. It registers as a distant, vague obligation, a consequence of his own stupidity. He knows this. But he can’t even look at his own reflection. He can’t look at the empty chair at the table across from him, or the cookies on the plate on the counter, or the decorations in the living room, without mourning the loss of something that wasn’t even his to own.

He runs a hand through his hair, down his face, over the stubble he’s long overdue needing to shave.

You asked for too much, a voice inside him spits, again.

This is what you get.

Eddie never thought the thing that would break him and Buck would be the words, "I love you," but then it's Christmas Eve and Buck is gone, and all he wants for the holidays is his family of three back together again.

(read on ao3) // 4.8k

[hotshotsxyz]

any way to your wild heart

buddie (1.3k) (read it on ao3)

happy holidays to @lemonzestywrites! Zesty, I hope you're having an amazing day, and that you enjoy your 911holidaygiftexchange2021 gift! huge thanks to @paranoidbean for organizing this whole thing!!

If someone were to ask him later, Eddie could blame the beer he’s not even halfway through yet. Or maybe he could blame the joy of the day – Christmas this year feels a little like a homecoming after the turmoil of last year. If he’s honest, though, and he’s really trying to be, at least with himself, he kissed Buck because he wanted to.

Eddie pulls back with a breathless laugh and a glance up at the mistletoe above them. “Merry Christmas, Buck,” he says, then turns on his heel and walks past their gaping friends into the kitchen with a grin on his face.

Thing is, he’s thought about it before. Kissing Buck. He’s thought about it a lot. He’s thought about pressing Buck up against the firetruck and kissing him completely senseless. He’s thought about coffee flavored kisses in the morning and wine-drunk kisses as night. He’s thought about heated kisses and soft ones, hello kisses and goodbye kisses.

The real thing lives up to all his expectations and more. Warm and familiar in a way a first kiss shouldn’t be, hot and slick in a way that makes his toes curl. Eddie smiles and bites his lip. He kissed Buck. And sure, it was a mistletoe kiss. Knowing him, Buck probably figures it was platonic. But Eddie did it. He’s kind of really freaking proud of himself.

“So that happened,” Hen says, wandering into the kitchen.

“Yup,” Eddie says, cheerfully (and perhaps uncharacteristically) popping the ‘P’.

“And you’re… okay with that?”

“Mm-hm,” Eddie confirms, grabbing a plate and placing a few cookies on it.

Hen shakes her head, but she’s smiling. “Honestly, Diaz, I expected to find you panicking in here.”

Eddie places a hand over his heart in mock offense. “I have grown, Henrietta.”

“I’m gonna let that one slide because you have,” Hen says with a little roll of her eyes.

They’re quiet for a moment, before Eddie speaks again. “I think I’m going to tell him,” he says.

“You think he doesn’t know? After that?” Hen’s eyebrows lift farther than Eddie would have thought possible.

“Nah,” Eddie says, smiling softly. “Buck’s a words guy. He’s not going to believe it unless I say it out loud.”

“And sucking his brain out through his tongue doesn’t count as saying it out loud?”

Eddie blushes. “Leave me alone,” he says, shoving her lightly.

Hen holds up her hands. “Alright, alright. Go get your man.”

///

Eddie kissed him. Eddie kissed him. Eddie kissed him.

Buck feels like his brain is melting. He finds himself staring up at the mistletoe, long after Eddie’s gone. And, like, that has to be it, right? Because, yeah, Buck’s in love with Eddie, but Eddie absolutely isn’t in love with him.

But Eddie kissed him. Buck is pretty sure this is what short-circuiting feels like.

People kiss their friends platonically, right? Usually not with tongue, but he and Eddie have always been a little weird.

“Earth to Buck,” Chimney says, and Buck suddenly realizes he’s surrounded by basically everyone he knows, all of whom just watched Eddie damn near kiss the life out of him.

“I, uh… bathroom, sorry.” Buck flees. Flees, the wrong direction, though, because he ends up in the kitchen with Eddie, who appears to be feeling absolutely none of the panic that Buck is.

Distantly, he notices Hen slip out of the room, but he can’t bring himself to look away from Eddie. Eddie, who kissed him. Eddie… who’s now piling gingerbread cookies on a plate?

“You don’t like gingerbread,” Buck blurts.

Eddie smiles and shakes his head. “Nope, they’re for you.”

“Me?” Buck asks faintly.

“Yeah, you,” Eddie says with a snort. “I figured we should probably talk.”

Buck gulps. Because this has to be the moment where Eddie tells him he’s realized how Buck feels and lets him down gently. Buck’s always known it was going to happen like this, but he was kind of hoping to avoid a second Christmas in a row of getting his heart ripped in two.

“Eddie, I’m sorry,” Buck says pre-emptively.

Eddie’s brow furrows. “Sorry for what, exactly?”

“I- I know you don’t- and I should have been more careful, probably. But I just- nothing has to change, okay?”

Eddie laughs lightly. “Slow down, Buck, it’s okay.”

“It’s not, though!” Buck exclaims. “You- I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Eds. You’re my best friend. That matters to me more than anything.” He looks away, cheeks burning.

Eddie steps into his space and fits a hand to his cheek. “I kissed you, Buck, remember?” he asks softly, a teasing lilt in his tone.

Buck bites his lip. “Just because of the mistletoe,” he says.

“Evan,” Eddie says, “you’re an idiot.”

And Buck would protest, he really would, except Eddie’s lips are on his again and every thought he’s ever had abandons his brain in favor of a continuous chant of Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

“For the record,” Eddie gasps, pulling back ever-so-slightly and resting his forehead against Buck’s, “there was no mistletoe this time.”

“I don’t understand,” Buck breathes.

Eddie’s thumb strokes across his cheekbone. “I’ve always been able to count on you, you know that?” Eddie says. “Even that first day, when you were being such a brat, somehow I knew I could.”

“Eddie,” Buck says, and it might be the only thing he ever says again, because he’s forgotten every other word he knows.

“I don’t know if I was ready for that, or if I deserved it,” Eddie continues, “having a partner like you. But I guess the universe saw fit to give you to me anyway.”

“You don’t believe in the universe,” Buck croaks. He realizes, only now, that his fingers are tightly twisted in the material of Eddie’s sweater, but he can’t bring himself to let go.

“The smartest person I know once told me that the universe was screaming at me. I guess I finally decided to listen.” Eddie places a soft, chaste kiss to Buck’s lips. “Everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I’ve ever needed, has been standing in front of me this whole time. I just… needed a minute to see that, and maybe to let myself believe I was allowed to want it. But I do, Buck.”

Buck’s pretty sure he’s dreaming, actually, except his dreams have never felt this vivid, this real. Each of Eddie’s exhalations ghost across his lips, leaving fire in its wake. He should say something, he wants to say something, but Buck’s never really been all that good with words.

“I want you,” Eddie says, and it finally breaks Buck out of the stupor he’s been in since the moment Eddie kissed him under the mistletoe.

He surges forward and kisses Eddie with everything he has, pouring all of the feelings he can’t quite find the words for into the heat and slickness of Eddie’s mouth. He kisses Eddie until his lungs burn and his head begins to feel light, and when he finally does pull away, he doesn’t go far.

“I love you,” Buck says, and for the first time in his life, he’s not terrified of the consequences.

Eddie breaks into a sunny, breathtaking grin. “Well that’s good,” he says, “because it just so happens I love you, too.”

And suddenly, Buck can see it. He can see the way their lives will slot perfectly together, the way they’ll wake up together every morning, the way they’ll have breakfast, and drop Christopher off at school. He can see they day they’ll get married, surrounded by everyone they love. He can see the gray hair that will begin to pepper Eddie’s temples unfairly late, and the smile lines that will grace the corners of Eddie’s eyes. He sees an entire future, and he knows with absolute certainty that this is it for them. That every single horrible thing they’ve been through has been leading them here all along. And he knows, without a doubt, it was worth it.

“I kind of want to scream it from the roof tops,” Buck says, finally releasing Eddie’s sweater in favor of joining their hands.

“Let’s go scream it together,” Eddie grins.

“Together,” Buck agrees. Together sounds perfect.

[followyouthroughfire]

-brenna yovanoff

gift for @buckbuckley. happy holidays, I’m sorry I couldn’t work out quite what to do for you, so here’s two gifts!

[panicatthediaz]

Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Firehouse 118 Crew (9-1-1 TV), Maddie Buckley, Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: U.S. Navy SEAL Evan "Buck" Buckley, Army Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, (from friendship to romance over the years) Summary: Something that the 118 didn't realize was that Buck and Eddie knew each other before they met at the station. This is the story of their evolving relationship since they met, told through their pain and comfort found in each other.

Wow, this post got fancy.

Hey, folks!! This is my entry for the 911 Holiday Gift Exchange 2021, run by the lovely @paranoidbean 😘

This is part one of my gift for @klairewritesthings!! Part one because honestly? I kind of ran wild with the prompt 🤣

This is a little over 14.6k words in this first chapter.

I hope you enjoy this first bit, Klaire!!

[buckaroosboogara]

I Can't Help Falling In Love With You

2k | Buddie | Established Relationship | Sickfic

A/N: My gift for Liz @oatflatwhite for the 911 Holiday Gift Exchange organized by @paranoidbean I hope you enjoy it <3

[Read on ao3]

Summary: Buck sighed and closed his eyes shut when he saw the thermometer he was holding read 102°F.

His head felt like it was about to explode and he tried to stay still under the stack of blankets Buck had on top of him, trying to think what would he do. The sensible thing would be to call Bobby and say he is sick, but.

But.

Chim was finally back home with Maddie and Jee and still on leave and Eddie was going to spend his free day with Chris after the kid insisted that they buy new ornaments for Christmas since it had to be perfect.

He couldn't call in sick for that shift, so he reluctantly got up and got started with his day, with the memories of some important moments in his relationship with Eddie helping him to get through it.

Or

Buck is sick, but goes to work anyway and insists he is okay. Hen thinks she needs to call in some reinforcements.

Things weren't supposed to go like this.

That was Buck's first thought when the thermometer he was holding read 102°F.

He sighed, feeling his skin burn from the inside with cold shivers traveling through his spine. His nose was stuffy and his head felt like it was about to explode.

He had a cold. A very bad one for the record.

But he couldn't skip that day's shift, Chimney was on leave with Maddie and Jee-Yun at home and Eddie had a free day he would spend with their son, with Buck covering up his shift.

Yup, their son. Buck was also surprised when Eddie said the words. Maybe because they were still friends when he had said it.

It was a warm sunny day in July, and the Buckley-Diaz were going to spend it at the beach. Eddie had thought it would be a good thing to do it together since it would be the first time they approached a natural water source since the tsunami. But they were not going to Santa Monica Bay. At least not yet. They were going to a friendly nearby lake.

A controlled situation.

Buck was kind of freaking out until Eddie placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at him deep in the eyes.

"Hey, it's okay if you don't want to go." Eddie had assured.

Buck had tried to look away, feeling guilty but Eddie brought his hand to his chin, making Buck look at him.

"Don't be ashamed, there is nothing to be ashamed of. We can just go to the local fair, have some cotton candy, I am sure he will understand."

"I would never make you do something that would make you or our son uncomfortable, Buck," Eddie explained, and Buck looked at him with surprise.

"Yeah, our son." Eddie had said in a breath. "So, get up and look for your wallet, our son wants some new books and stuffed animals, but do not spoil him too much, please."

"I will do my best." Buck had answered, feeling better about canceling their trip. No, not canceling, just postponing it.

He missed Eddie's warmth instantly.

Buck came back to the present and smiled, the headache was back to a soft pain.

He got up from his bed slowly, trying not to make sudden moves that would send waves of pain through his skull, and then walked to his bathroom. There he took two pills for the pain, rubbed some menthol onto his chest, and then walked downstairs, his footsteps echoing through the place.

His apartment was empty, with all his stuff in boxes near the exit ready to go to Eddie's place. His new home.

They both had been taking small steps since they got together three months before. In the weeks prior to getting together though, there was this flirtatious thing they had between them that made their friends groan and roll their eyes.

Buck looked at the balcony, his head aching with the light entering his eyes. He closed them and a soothing and another distracting memory played on his mind.

Their first kiss had happened there, both kinda drunk and alone on Buck's balcony, slow dancing as the sun set on the horizon, the lighting making Eddie look a thousand times more handsome, in his unbiased opinion.

Buck's hands were on Eddie's shoulders and Eddie's were on his hips, so close that they talked in whispers. They were practicing their dance steps for Maddie and Chim's upcoming wedding –Read: Eddie was teaching Buck how to dance– and "I can't help falling in love" was playing in the background softly.

When the chorus hit, Buck instinctively placed his hand on Eddie's cheek and kissed him softly. Eddie was taken aback for just a second before responding by kissing him back and bringing their bodies impossibly closer.

After their kiss they both stayed in their places, limbs mixed in a hug, Eddie's head on Buck's shoulder, pecking little kisses to his neck as the song ended.

Buck sang along. "But I... can't... help falling in love... with... you."

They had looked at each other in the eyes and both giggled.

Buck's body felt positively warm with the memory and he continued making his way to his kitchen.

Feeling much better, he drank a glass of orange juice and ate one toast before getting dressed and leaving his place.

He stopped by the chemist's to buy some meds on his way to the firehouse and another memory passed through his mind.

One month into their relationship they still hadn't told anyone, except for Chris, about them. Eddie wasn't the type to have regular colds, but when they hit him, they hit him hard.

This time he couldn't even get out of bed and Buck was pretty worried for his boyfriend.

He drove to the same pharmacy to get some meds and menthol for him, and he also remembered calling Abuela to ask her about her chicken broth recipe.

It was when he was cuddling with Eddie on the couch, after days of not sleeping because he had to make sure Eddie was fine when the team decided to drop by Eddie's place.

At least they didn't find them in a more compromising position.

Both were asleep sitting on the couch, their hands entwined on Eddie's lap, with the sick man covered in a thick blanket and his head on Buck's shoulder. Their family didn't want to wake them, but Ravi entered the house and stumbled with a shoe, dropping some of the groceries they had bought Eddie.

The team was really comprehensive and happy and after Chimney made every person pay him for a bet they had, they left them alone and with enough soup and decongestant tea for three years.

Actually, we froze some of that soup and would make a great dinner, Buck thought as he sniffed, coming back to the present.

He bought some tissues and the meds, took one, and quickly got on his way again.

Even though he tried to take some shortcuts, he arrived late for his shift. At least the throbbing sensation on his head had ceased

"Hey Buckaroo!" Hen greeted him with a smile when he arrived. Her smile dropped when she took a better look at him. "How are you doing? You don't look very well."

"Nah, I'm fine." Buck shrugged it off, his voice coming out weird because of his stuffed nose. "'s just a seasonal cold."

"...Sure." Hen squinted her eyes but didn't press more as she walked away to let him change into his uniform.

Buck knew she would keep an eye on him for the rest of the day. He groaned.

Deep down he knew it was because she was worried, and his history gave her a reason. Buck was capable of turning a simple cold into a full pneumonia that could somehow make him not available for the job. Buck shuddered with the thought (or maybe because he felt he was colder than Hershey on a snowy day) and made his way to the locker room. If someone noticed he had his thickest hoodie on a decently warm day for December, nobody said anything.

The day went normal, a few calls here and there but nothing too big, to Buck's relief because he was already sore and tired 4 hours into a 12-hour shift. Fortunately, lunchtime was approaching. Buck was more than ready for some homemade food.

But first.

"Buck, come and help me restock the ambulance!" Hen's voice sounded from the bay.

Buck groaned as he got up from his bunk bed, wincing when the bright light hit his eyes. He could feel the headache making its way back to his temple and he tried massaging it to ease the pain.

When he reached the ambulance another memory hit his mind.

The first call where Buck willingly went with Eddie. (So the new guy wouldn't get all the fun, or so he had said) 

"Besides, you wanted us to bond. He had told Bobby as an excuse to be alone in a call with their new recruit. "We might end up real close."

And wasn't that the truth?

Oh boy, he had really fallen for Eddie Diaz that night.

Of course, he had mixed the boy-crush feeling with the emotion of pulling out a live grenade off that man's leg.

"You're a badass under pressure brother." Eddie had stated with a smile after their job was done. Buck's heart had skipped a beat.

"M-Me?"

"Hell yeah, you can have my back any day."

Buck smiled, "Yeah. Or you know you could- you could have mine."

"Deal."

They had repeated those same words some weeks before after Eddie proposed him to move in with him and Chris.

They talked it out, first the why and then the how were they going to do it and then-

"Well Buckley, it seems like you're going to be trapped with us in this house." Eddie had said with a smile, his dimples showing more than ever.

"Oh, what a shame!" Buck had said, dramatically putting his hand on his forehead.

They had laughed before Buck offered his hand to his boyfriend. Eddie shook it.

"I still trust you to have my back, Diaz." Buck said with a smile, still holding Eddie's hand.

"It's a good thing you do because I do too." Eddie had laughed.

Buck had smiled and leaned in to kiss Eddie.

Even though moving out of his apartment and into Eddie's house - his home -  felt like a leap of faith, he trusted Eddie was there to catch him.

"You can always have my back." Buck chuckled lightly at the memory and continued making his way towards the ambulance.

"Hey, are you sure you are okay, Buck?" Hen asked as soon as she saw him.

"Yeah, yeah. Everything is fine here, mom." Buck rolled his eyes and Hen sighed.

"I'm serious Buck, we don't need another man down because of pneumonia." Hen replied, her eyebrows furrowed with worry. "It's okay if you want to go, just tell Bobby and he will call Ravi or someone else."

"It's okay, Hen, I swear." Buck assured softly and offered a little smile.

Hen looked at him but didn't press. She had to call reinforcements, and she knew there were only two persons Buck would listen to.

They worked in the ambulance keeping a list ambient while chatting about their plans for Christmas and soon enough Bobby called everyone upstairs for lunch.

Once he finished, Buck excused himself to go lay on the bunks for some time and took one more med for the lowering fever and headache.

When he woke up it was getting dark, his eyes were puffy from sleeping and his throat felt drier than the Sahara. He walked upstairs for a glass of water, barely containing the coughs trying to escape his throat.

Once he managed to chug down a whole glass of water he went downstairs to help with the hoses and kept himself entertained for some minutes until he saw a man he knew well walking around.

"Eddie?" Buck asked at the sight of his boyfriend.

"Buck! There you are!" Eddie got closer to him after thanking Hen.

Buck was so screwed.

When Eddie tried to peck him on the lips he stepped back. "No, I- I have a cold." He excused himself before trying to change the topic. "Wh-Where's Chris?"

"With my Abuela." Eddie studied him for a second and raised his hand to Buck's forehead before the other man could do something else. He gasped.

"Cariño, you are burning up," Eddie said, shaking his head.

Of course, Buck would go to work being sick, he just loved being a firefighter that much and he worried about his loved ones when he wasn't there to protect them. But this was something else.

Buck was now leaning on his hand, eyes closed, seeking the cold sensation that soothed his fever.

"Buck?"

"I'm sorry," Buck said without opening his eyes. "I shouldn't have come to work like this, but..."

"But?"

Buck bit his lip and separated from Eddie.

"Bad things already happen when I am here... Like-the shooting, or then Bobby being trapped by the sniper or- or the well incident, the tsunami... but I know things will be fine because I trust in my abilities to help people out."

"And you don't trust ours?" Eddie half-joked.

"No! It- It's not that! I know you are all great firefighters and paramedics but..." He trailed off. "But I wonder... what would happen if I am not here? To- To have your backs. Would worse things happen? I mean we were hanging by thread after the sniper, just Hen, Chim, and I against this city's chaos, and- I just can't go through that again Eds- I-"

He was suddenly taken aback by Eddie's warm body against his, Eddie's arms going around him and his chin settling on the crook of his neck. "Buck, baby we would be okay. And you know why?"

Buck let himself settle on his boyfriend's arms, hiding his burning eyes on Eddie's shoulder. He shook his head.

"Because we are trained firefighters and paramedics, that jump every day into action and save people's lives when they are at their worst. But we also are simple humans, that can go through those low moments, and we will always survive, as I did with the sniper and the well. Like you and Chris did with the tsunami. We will come back to each other, to this family." Eddie let go of Buck and took just his head on his hands, forcing the taller man to look at him in the eyes.

"You are not a bad or good luck charm, baby, these things will happen whether you are there or not, what defines what will happen is the determination to push through the pain and the fear. And we know you will always be there for us and we will always be there for you, whatever happens."

"Thanks." Buck made a small smile and hugged Eddie again. "Can we go home now?"

Eddie chuckled. "Yeah, go get your things, I'll tell Bobby."

They separated and parted ways, the throbbing on Buck's head easing in the slightest. Once he was changed into civilian clothes he looked at himself in the mirror.

His nose was bright red and his lips were dried. Very light eyebags were under his eyes but they stood out on his pale skin. He felt a little less like shit though.

He walked outside the locker room and met Eddie, who was waiting for him, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. He noticed Buck and put his phone on his jeans' back pocket, taking Buck's duffel bag from him.

"Everything's cleared, Bobby will call Ravi again to cover your shifts in the next days, and maybe even Christmas..." He nudged Buck playfully on the shoulder but the other man groaned.

"I don't know what's worse, me being sick on Christmas or Ravi having to work on Christmas day because of me. I know he had plans with his family."

"Hey, stop feeling guilty, it's not your fault that you are sick." Eddie started walking to the parking lot. "And he owes you, remember that time you covered him for his Grandmother's birthday?"

"Yeah, but this is different!" Buck argued as he followed.

"Okay," Eddie stopped right at the exit and looked at Buck. Their height difference was more noticeable. "What if we organize a party here on the 25th? Kinda like what you did in 2019?"

"Hm, yes, I like that idea better." Buck smiled softly and took Eddie's hand as they continued walking. "You owe me a kiss from that year though."

Eddie stopped in his tracks. "What?"

"Yeah, look." Buck took his phone out and poked his tongue out as he started looking for something in it.

"Buck, I really think this is not the mo-"

"Here," Buck said shoving his phone on his face.

On the screen was the picture they took that day at the firehouse. Buck was in the back under the mistletoe and so was Eddie. He smiled and put Buck's phone aside.

Eddie had been buzzing with happiness that day, delighted with his Tía's and Chris' surprise visit.

He almost confessed his love to Buck right then and there too. His heart was warm between the attention Buck gave to Chris and how good he looked in a Christmas hat.

Eddie sighed in the present and leaned in to kiss Buck. His boyfriend stopped him before he could reach his lips though.

"I'm sick, remember?"

"You can't tell me I owe you a kiss and then deny me!" Eddie playfully shoved him and Buck laughed." Jokes on you though, I don't care if you're sick," Eddie said before giving Buck a chaste kiss.

Buck sighed in the kiss, feeling Eddie's smile against his lips. When they finished kissing they stayed touching foreheads.

"Evan?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

Buck giggled. "Edmundo?"

Eddie groaned and mimicked Buck. "Hm?"

"I love you too."

[zashizawa]

and i'll call you mine (and i'll break me down)

He was just coming back up the stairs to the loft, after having gone over the inventory for the second time, when he heard Hen say his name, and he faltered.

"Eddie, Buck is your friend. You know he'd-"

"God, that's the thing, Hen. I don't want him to be my friend," hissed the voice of his best friend, and suddenly, it was like a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped over the blond's head.

(Or, Buck eavesdrops on a conversation between Eddie and Hen, and misunderstandings ensue.)

read on ao3

@meganskane @usermoreid @buckleyhans @no-moremusic @eddiediazisascorpio

[buckhelped-archive]

buddie + Paper Rings 💍

my gift for @adamsparirsh for the 9-1-1 fandom secret santa exchange! hope you like it <3

[thatbuddie]

this love we got (is the best of all)

pairing: buck/eddie

words: ~2,720

rating: g

tags: established relationship, married buddie, christmas fluff, buckley-diaz family feels

summary:

“Baby, it’s—” Eddie pauses his words to look at the clock mounted on the wall, and then he turns back to look at Buck with an scandalized expression on his face. “It’s five fifteen in the morning. What are you doing cooking at five fifteen in the morning?”

So abruptly it actually startles Eddie, Buck halts all of his movements, and he comes to stand in the middle of the kitchen while facing Eddie, a huge bowl of potatoes in his hands.

“It’s Christmas Eve, Eddie,” Buck says, serious and disbelieving, like Eddie’s questioning has personally and irrevocably offended him.

notes: this is my gift for @slowdowntherebuckaroo for the 9-1-1 Holiday Gift Exchange organized by @paranoidbean. i hope you enjoy this story, d, and that it makes you smile <3 happy holidays and happy life to all of you.

[agentlemuse]

A Christmas fic for Rosy! @rosyredlipstick  This got a little more introspective than I had planned, but I really hope you like it. Have a wonderful Christmas! 

Love Shaped Box  on AO3: A Buddie Christmas Fic (Rated G)

“I have a surprise for you.”

“I think I’ve had enough of your surprises for today.” He deserves that, but it still stings.

“Buck, you have every right to be mad at me, but Christopher wants to see you. Please? Come on, it’s Christmas.”  

“….Low blow using your kid.”

He knows. “Did it work?”

“I’ll be over in an hour.”