#922pm

[mariahcareyfan1738]

2125, 922pm, resources exhausted

i had a terrible high recently. like horrible. like i never want to get high again high. i was having these horrible horrible thoughts, descecrating some of the only things i hold sacred to myself. i didn't and still don't understand what prompted me to have such thoughts. maybe i will never know. maybe thats a part of me that is damaged beyond repair. i just hope that this isnt something else that i will have to worry about.

anyways, that's not really what i want to write about today.

im not sure if im going to keep doing boring life updates about the meanderings of my life. its really not that interesting. but does it have to be interesting? i dont really read these entries after i post them.

im thinking about going to china one day. i think it's cool and there are some places that are obscure and far away, and i think that would be interesting to see.

why am i avoiding the real reason i am writing this entry?

i feel as though i have exhausted the resources my computer can give me. a few minutes ago, i found myself looking at my youtube home page with despair. i was looking for something, anything, to put some of this anxiety away. this crippling, soul crushing, ever present anxiety that i cant shake. but its here, underpinning everything i do. sapping my energy. i barely can write this post. i can barely talk about it. it just... drains me. drains me of hope, of motivation, of strength. it takes everything that i have. everything that i have learned, and throws it away. it feels insurmountable. and maybe it is. maybe where i am in my life, with what i am doing... it is. and i cant get rid of it, so for now, i just have to live with it. and its not okay, but i think i can make do

but i dont want to make do much longer. the next job that i get, i really want to go hard at. get my buick. get driving, and leave this all behind. save up my $5k and never look back. just drive... and drive... and drive. me myself and the road. sleep in my car. eat in my car. live freely, with enough money in my pocket that i dont have to worry too much. just free from this silicon hell. no more voices in my headphones. no more thinking. no more ruminating in my room. no more mulling over things. just being able to see something new. something fresh. i need to. i need to leave. i need to spread my wings. i need to. i need to.

[onmimynd]

on a real note tho, im stuck in the kfc drive thru for a 2 person doordash.

not complaining but being here, i think of you..

[priscillalsy]

15 March, 922pm

Sitting in the car and crying while I’m typing this post. I’m such a crybaby. I cry so easily. I cry all the time. I feel pain all the time. I don’t know what to do. Is this even healthy to continue going forward. Maybe it’s better to end it all. I’m not sure anymore. 💔

[the-addiction-of-you]

922pm Im thinking about my social anxiety

It’ll be okay, you can overcome it 🙏🏻

[one-super-sad-guy]

Nov. 6th. 2019. 922pm

Tears fill my eyes I'm hopeing it's the last time

The last part of me let's the last part of you go.

[hotguystodayofficial-blog]

HOT GUYS - 9:22pm 07/01/2018 - peter.dublin

New Post has been published on http://hotguys.today/muscle/hot-guys-922pm-07-01-2018-peter-dublin/5089.html

HOT GUYS - 9:22pm 07/01/2018 - peter.dublin

[patternbreak-blog1]

2/2/2017 922pm

I just got home and couldn't control my anxiety as well as I could've. I feel bad. I actually get very anxious around my parents. I know they mean well and don't intend to but soon as I get home sometimes I just want to shut out and come inside quietly and be alone and at peace. I will try make more of an effort at home as I don't like how I am around my parents. It just gets difficult coming home and being asked a million things and asking for help to fix something when I havnt gotten changed yet and put my bags down. I had a mini stress attack cause I was so fixated finding my jeans and getting my bag packed ready for an early start tomorrow and was stressing out cause I know I have a bad memory and I might forget it which would set off a chain of events which could effect my early start goal for tomorrow.. Sounds like the dumbest thing to stress about but it was enough for me to need to do my 4/7/8 breathing exercise when I finally found them and packed my bags.. I justTook my ssri and had a bit to eat so hope the shift in time I'm taking them has adjusted or balanced. Time to sleep and wake at 5 tomorrow as I'm aiming to go gym before work. I've noticed after my work outs I feel much better, I need to see if it's more effective in the morning as I'm noticing I feel just ok during the day and it slightly drops towards end of work. But once I do any sort of work out I'm way up again and feeling my best, minus the stress attack I got today coming home. Being tomorrow's Friday Ill try and control my alcohol intake and not take it too far. Itl be counter productive to my mental health, don't want to waste the weekend with a hangover.

[hotguystodayofficial-blog]

HOT GUYS - 9:22pm 06/21/2018 - jozoaros

New Post has been published on http://hotguys.today/sexy/hot-guys-922pm-06-21-2018-jozoaros/4661.html

HOT GUYS - 9:22pm 06/21/2018 - jozoaros

[hotguystodayofficial-blog]

HOT GUYS - 9:22pm 05/31/2018 - lua_mclean

New Post has been published on http://hotguys.today/muscle/hot-guys-922pm-05-31-2018-lua_mclean/4292.html

HOT GUYS - 9:22pm 05/31/2018 - lua_mclean

[hotguystodayofficial-blog]

HOT GUYS - 9:22pm 05/31/2018 - 1maksimegorov1

New Post has been published on http://hotguys.today/muscle/hot-guys-922pm-05-31-2018-1maksimegorov1/4024.html

HOT GUYS - 9:22pm 05/31/2018 - 1maksimegorov1

[hotguystodayofficial-blog]

HOT GUYS - 9:22pm 05/15/2018 - nehemias_lopez_cruz

New Post has been published on http://hotguys.today/hotguys/hot-guys-922pm-05-15-2018-nehemias_lopez_cruz/3265.html

HOT GUYS - 9:22pm 05/15/2018 - nehemias_lopez_cruz

[hotguystodayofficial-blog]

XMENTODAY - 9:22pm 03/18/2018 - mjromo1982

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